Edward walked into a disaster zone. The floor of Jessica's bedroom was covered in paper, some crumpled and he tried to not step on any. Jessica was sitting on her bed, writing in a notebook and looking frustrated. Without looking at him, she ripped the page she'd been writing it on, crumpled it into a ball and threw it across the room. He was only able to dodge it due to his super speed.
"Hello to you too," he said drily. "What did I do this time?'
"Not about you," she grumbled, writing on a fresh page. "It's this stupid graduation speech."
"Haven't figured that out yet?" He bent down and picked up one of her discarded drafts and began reading it aloud. "Don't fuck up the world more than it already is. I think the school might not care for the language."
She stopped writing, dropping her pen and notebook on the bed, and covered her face in her hands. "Why did they choose me? I suck at speeches."
"Your speeches when you were running for student council were fine," he pointed out. "And the speech comes with valedictorian territory. Would you rather Eric do it instead?"
"Yes. I mean no," She sighed. "And Angela helped me with my speeches before."
"Why not ask for her help again?"
"I did. She said 'speak from the heart', as if that helps me."
He picked up another discarded speech and read it. "We'll probably never see each other again after this and that's not a bad thing. Is this how you really feel about our peers?"
"You should read the one by your left."
"Life is too short and the world is going to end anyway so do what you want," He laughed. "Well, you're not wrong."
She glared at him. "Be serious. I have two days before I have to give that speech in front of our entire class, their parents, and the school faculty. I mess this up and people will remember."
"People don't remember these things as well as you think," he told her and took a seat beside her on the bed. "Just make your speech as generic as possible and everything will be fine."
"I don't do generic," That sounded incredibly lazy and that wasn't Jessica. "You've listened to a bunch of speeches over the years, what made the good ones stand out?"
He looked thoughtful. "Charisma? A certain verbosity?"
"The school guidance counselor said I was 'abrasive'," she grumbled. "And I just don't want to ramble on forever until they want to cart me away from the podium."
"Alright. How about take Angela's advice? Speak from the heart," At her exasperated look, he handed her the pen and notebook again. "You have lived in Forks since you were three. You know everyone in our class. This little town has been your world as far back as you can remember. Your triumphs, failures, and fears were all in this rainy little corner. In all that time, what have you learned?"
"A lot," She stared down at the blank page. "And there's still a lot to learn. None of us are done growing. We're still becoming people."
"Yes, and in this moment what lesson do you want them to remember as they leave here and go on their journey to becoming themselves?"
She looked at him and the encouragement on his face. He had been the thing that had surprised her the most this past year, aside from the vampire thing. How he had gone to stranger to somebody she truly cared for and it had taken months, like rain filling an empty, to become what they were. And there was still so much to do and see, she had all this time to full with him even if in his existence it would be just a minute.
"We need to enjoy every second of it," she said. "We need to enjoy life and all the good moments, even the bad ones, before it all ends. Nothing will ever stay the same and that doesn't mean it makes it meaningless. It is better that we enjoyed this minute in time, in this universe, instead of letting fear rule us and waste all of it. Don't waste any of it."
He smiled, wistfully. The million unsaid things between them present as ever but neither of them acknowledged it. She wrote the rest of her speech and he gave his honest feedback. When she finished, she stared at the words as the sense of finality overcame her. There was no going back from there.
Graduation went by faster than she anticipated. She gave her speech and as she said the words she looked over at all the faces of her classmates. She lingered at her friends and she remembered the little kids they once were. They received their diplomas and her friends squished together in a massive group hug and she didn't even mind that she couldn't breathe.
The Cullens decided to host a graduation party much to everybody's shock. It was a surreal moment, seeing her classmates wandering around the Cullens' house, all of them surprised that they were allowed to be there. It was the easy blending of two worlds that still jarred her when she saw it. She couldn't help wonder about all the alternate worlds that never happened.
She saw Mike and Emmett were talking about sports with some guys from the football team. Angela, Lauren, and Alice were talking about the merits of Project Runway. Tyler, Eric, and Jasper were debating over country music. She blinked at the sight of Dr. Cullen and Esme talking to her mom and the Webers. Edward's parents looked so young next to their parents despite their real ages. It made her wonder if in twenty years it would be like that with her and Edward.
And eventually while he stayed young, she'd look old enough to be his mother, his grandmother. Oh God.
"Remember your speech," he said softly. "Focus on the now."
"Focus on the now," she repeated. "Can I use your bathroom?"
He directed her to a bathroom on the second floor and before leaving the bathroom, she stared at her reflection. Her face was round with youth, the last traces of baby fat clinging on for dear life. The big blue eyes, the too-thin nose, teeth too big for her face, she was pretty at best. And she would look more as her mom as she aged.
She wondered how it felt for the Cullens to stare at the mirror and see the same reflection no matter how much time passed. No crow's feet, no laugh lines, no wrinkles, only smooth skin. Maybe they saw time like sand in an hourglass, moving continuously while they remained. When the world ended, would vampires be the ones left, outliving all of humanity.
Trying to escape her maudlin thoughts, she made her way outside the bathroom. She found the empty balcony people had avoided and welcomed the chilly air as she tried to get herself out of her mood. She didn't want to be around Edward when she was like this as it only put him in a similar mood. It could be so difficult at times, not being able to keep even her thoughts hidden. Her emotions weren't safe either, even glimpses of her future.
"Feeling stifled yet?" Rosalie came over and stopped beside her, staring into the dark trees behind the house. "If you're having second thoughts about all of this, that's a good thing."
"I'm not having second thought about anything," she replied. "I worked too hard for Stanford-"
"I'm not talking about college and you know it," Rosalie interrupted her. "I'm talking about becoming one of us."
Jessica froze. "I…I never thought about that."
That was a lie. She had thought about it, late at night when she was alone. And she contemplated her own mortality. Eternity was a possibility that utterly terrified her.
"Never? Cause there's only one way you can be with an immortal," the blonde stated. "To become one. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time."
"I'm not wasting my time. I love Edward," Jessica returned. "Why would you say I was wasting my time with him?"
"You are hooking your carriage to a horse that will eventually outrun you," Rosalie's golden gaze stared her down. "You'll wither and die like one of those roses he likes to give you, something pretty for now. You'd be a pastime to keep the ennui from settling in."
That hit to close with her earlier thoughts and she wrapped her arms over her chest. "Why are you being so cruel? I've never done anything to you, Rosalie."
"I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm trying to help you," Rosalie insisted. "You don't want to be immortal, do you?"
"No."
"Then what are you doing with Edward? You're wasting your time, your life loving somebody like him when you could have a normal, human life with somebody else who can give you things Edward can't," The blonde sighed. "I know you don't want to hear this but this story you and Edward are playing out will only lead you both to heartbreak."
"How do you know it'll lead to heartbreak?"
"Because you're going to die and Edward who spent a hundred years running from that pain will have to experience it," Rosalie answered. "And one day you'll wake up and realize this wasn't what you wanted."
"You don't know me," Jessica retorted, anger wrapping itself around her like a blanket against all of Rosalie's accusations. The truth in them was too painful to acknowledge. "You don't get to say what I will or won't regret. And who's to say Edward isn't everything I want? Only I get to decide that."
Rosalie shook her head. "You're too young to listen. You're such a child."
"Or maybe you need to mind your own business."
"Jessica," Edward was at the doorway of the balcony. From the look on his face, he heard more than enough of their conversation. "They have cake downstairs. Why don't you go get a plate?"
Wanting to get away from his sister, Jessica wordlessly left the balcony. Edward didn't follow her. She paused at the stairs as he approached his sister and they began to talk quietly. She couldn't hear them and Rosalie gave her a disappointed look as Jessica finally left.
They still had the summer before they all parted ways. Aside from Edward, the Cullens were all moving to New York. Alice was excited for fashion school and she insisted that Jessica and Edward visit. Jessica wasn't opposed to it though the gas cost did make her pause. Edward had suggested getting them plane tickets but she wasn't sure how she felt about him paying for everything. She was aware that his family was well-off but she didn't know how much until he mentioned they owned an island in Brazil.
"Isle Esme," he said. "Carlisle bought if for her as a gift in the 60s."
She stared at him in disbelief. "Who are you people?"
"Carlisle made a lot of good investments over the decades," he explained. "And for obvious reasons, Alice is very good at predicting the stock-market."
Which did make sense but for some reason she expected Carlisle having shady business deals instead of just good investments. Like he was a doctor to mafia bosses and sold morphine on the side or sold organs on the black market. Who else would own a freaking island? She realized she had no idea how much money this family had. And they willingly chose to live in Forks where nothing ever happened instead of some gated community where only millionaires and celebrities lived.
"You don't make sense to me," she remarked. "And that includes the vampire thing."
"I was just saying that if you ever want to go to the beach, we can go to the island," he offered. "It's a private island and we only have caretakers come once every two weeks so there's little chance of exposure."
"Exposure to the sparkles," she clarified. "Could you imagine how weird that would be for somebody to just walk up to the beach and see a man sparkling from head to toe? What would we even say? That I painted you in glitter glue?"
"I was always focused more on the fear of being executed than the feelings of the people that would see me."
"I could tell them it's really good highlighter," she added. "Or some cool special effects. Tell them we're shooting a movie…about some sparkly aliens. Wait. Do you think maybe vampires came from aliens?"
"I doubt that vampires came from aliens."
"Nobody knows where vampires came from. If it's not humans, maybe it came from a meteorite and it caused a mutation," she continued. "Or an alien came out of a spaceship and infected people and that's how it started."
He didn't say anything, knowing that Jessica couldn't be stopped once she started theorizing. She'd been confused when he told her he wasn't really interested in knowing the origins of vampires. She couldn't understand why he could be content to not ask questions and not want to look for answers. She wanted to know as much as she could.
"Why?" he asked. "What's so important about knowing where vampires came from?"
She looked at him, blue eyes bright. "Because you're real."
He still wasn't getting it. "And?"
"And your existence goes against everything science tell us," she explained. "You defy logic and reality just by being here. You're magic. You are something that shouldn't exist, that shouldn't be possible and yet you're here."
He stayed quiet, unable to say anything against the awe in her expression and her voice.
"Don't you get it?" She smiled. "If you exist, Edward, what else does? What else is out there hiding and has secrets that could change the world? The fact that you exists means nothing is impossible."
"I'm not…I'm not magic," he countered. "I'm not whatever you think I am."
That self-loathing he kept close to his chest was more visible than she'd ever seen it. She'd known that he hated what he was, that if he had a choice he would go back to being human. He would trade his immortality away in a heartbeat. He would refuse to see what he was as a blessing, a gift.
"You're a question and an answer," she declared. "And I want to know everything, Edward. If you'd let me."
"The answers you find aren't safe," he replied. "I can't protect you from those dangers if you want to go down that road."
"But it would be my choice."
"I wish you wouldn't."
She took his hand. "Did I ever tell you who my favorite scientist is?"
"Albert Einstein?" he guessed and smiled as she rolled her eyes. "I give up. Who is it?"
"Marie Curie," she answered. "She was a pioneer in researching radiation and she eventually died from it."
"Are you saying you would risk death to learn about this?" He shook his head. "Please reconsider."
"I think it's what I'm meant to do."
"Study something else," he insisted. "Anything else. Not this or anything related to it. Not the werewolves either."
"I think I can do some good if I-"
"No," He said firmly. "I'm begging you, Jessica. Anything else."
She wanted to argue more. He didn't have the say on what she decided to research once she graduated from college. Whether she wanted to risk her life or not was up to her but she could tell he wasn't going to move on this. She would have to concede.
"Okay," she told him. "If that's what you want."
She still had to learn in college before she could really do any research that would give substantial results. For now, she would ask Carlisle harmless questions. For now, she would observe all the abilities she could see Edward do. For now, she would let him think he had won this argument.
And everything was fine for now.
I am sorry for the late upload. I was having some internet issues. We had to get the modem replaced and it was frustrating cause I did have all the remaining chapters written. I'll be uploading all the remaining chapters on the same day. No need to make you wait longer.
1. In the books, Eric was actually the valedictorian so I did make a reference to that.
2, I debated over whether to keep Jessica's graduation speech or make a new one. Jessica went on a different journey here then she did in the books/movies so she would write a new speech. I just showed glimpses of it in their conversation but I didn't want to make you sit there and read a whole speech.
3. The conversation with Rosalie was meant to echo her conversation with Bella in the books (without her backstory). She is trying to be kind to Jessica in her own way by telling her the truth.
3. Jessica's interest in vampires isn't just a passing fancy. This is explored more in the future.
4. Chapter title is from The Smith's song.