Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls content belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino.

Chapter Twenty-Seven: How Kurt Cobain

Tangled beneath the sheets, Ella awoke with the sunlight streaming through Jess's window and into her closed eyes. She squinted as she cleared her throat and shifted to find Jess's side of the bed empty. Furrowing her brows, she raked a hand through her messy hair and sat up against the green wall, Nietzche's eyes looking over her almost comically. Still, she found no Jess in the room, though the door was slightly ajar. The smell of coffee drifted in from the kitchen. She worried frantically if she had missed her interview with the Dean.

"Jess?" she called.

After only a moment, he waltzed in with the paper in one hand and a mug in the other. He smirked when he saw the scowl on her face. Yet another thing he could count on never changing. Ella Stevens was not a morning person. "Yeah?"

"What the hell? Why didn't you wake me?" she demanded, rubbing at her eyes with both hands.

Jess snickered. "Like it's so easy. I tried. You told me to fuck off."

"I did not."

"Oh, but you did. Twice."

Groaning slightly, she shook her head at herself. "Sorry."

"No problem. I'm used to the colorful vocabulary by now," he shrugged, taking a long sip of his black coffee.

She rushed over to her bag, convinced of her tardiness.

"Woah, where's the fire?" Jess asked.

"What time is it?"

"Relax. It's only nine. Your interview isn't until eleven, right?' he asked, smug smirk ever-present.

Blowing out a small breath, she nodded. "Yeah. Jesus. I thought it was noon."

"Why?"

"That's usually how late I sleep when I forget to set an alarm," she said, running her fingers through her hair again.

He chuckled. "Well, you've got a while. I had to get up to let the poet guy in. There's donuts in the kitchen. Campus is only a few blocks away. I can walk you there later, if you want."

Biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to fight the smile which threatened to cross her face. "I don't need an escort, Mariano."

"Oh, right. I forgot you know exactly how to get there from here," he said, feigning understanding.

She rolled her eyes. "I brought a map."

"That's cute," he teased.

"Fuck you."

"It's not the twentieth century anymore. Just let me walk you, Stevens."

"Okay, fine," she conceded, finally letting herself break into a little grin.

. . .

Cloudy light shone through the overcast sky in gray tones, but the air was light. Philadelphia was not due for rain. Ella breathed in the city as they strolled down the sidewalk. It was a little grimy, but so alive. The pulse of the noise and the people made her feel excited, inspired. She would have to draw something of it as soon as she got a moment. Jess had his hands shoved in his pockets, stealing occasional glances at Ella. He saw the same wonder in her eyes that he had when she'd come to visit him in New York all those years ago. A pleasant warmth radiated throughout him, and for just a little while he stopped wondering where they stood with each other, what would happen, about the words they still needed to speak.

She fiddled with the thin strap of her watch as she walked along. "Do you like Philly better than New York?"

He perked his head up as she suddenly broke the silence between them. "Oh yeah. Less people. Better art scene."

"Really?"

"Definitely. And it also helps that my mom doesn't live here."

"Ah," Ella replied knowingly, nodding slightly. "So, you guys haven't talked much since the wedding, I take it?"

"Every now and again," he shrugged.

They turned down a road lined with coffee shops and bookstores. Ella could tell it was a backwards way of getting to campus, but expected nothing less of Jess. It made her want to smile. The more she saw of the city, the more she could tell he belonged. Finally, he had a place where he fit.

"She did call me when April showed up, though," Jess continued casually.

Ella uttered a small laugh. "Yeah. That was...straight outta left field. She's a good kid, though. Can recite the whole periodic table in like sixty seconds. She kinda reminds me of my brother."

"Adam?" Jess asked.

Ella nodded, the warm breeze blowing her bangs back from her face. Her hair was in a low bun, and she was dressed in the same clothes as the day before. Most of her wardrobe wasn't the most professional. And straight-laced clothes, she thought, were an important balance for her visible tattoos.

"How's he doin'?"

She shrugged, smiling lightly. "He's good. Almost done with his junior year. He's applying to all those big schools. MIT is his top choice, I think."

"Jeez. Another valedictorian in the family?"

"Maybe. He might get a full ride, especially since…" she paused, biting at the inside of her cheek. Looking over at Jess, she saw his curious expression. He seemed more open than he ever had, comfortable in his own skin. When she continued, her tone was firmer, more direct. "Well, my dad left to live with my uncle in Baltimore a few months ago. It's just Adam and Fiona back in the house. He'll get lots of financial aid points for having a single step-parent."

"Oh, that's…"

"Yeah. But, I think everyone's better off," she said, averting her gaze from him. Again, Jess thought he saw her try and grab for a necklace, but instead she reached up to tug gently at one of her small earrings. "Once the baby thing didn't work out with Fiona, my dad started drinking more and...I think he realized he'd never...losing my mom. He's never gonna be the same. Adam's doing well, though. And Fiona's doing better. It's better."

He hummed in acknowledgement, appraising her with a careful eye. "I'm glad, then."

"Me too." She cast him a tiny, reassured smile. "Sorry. That's heavy stuff and it's not even afternoon."

"Nothing for you to be sorry over," he replied.

Rushing over a crowded crosswalk as the seconds blinked off the timer, Jess took her hand to lead her. She wouldn't be late, but he could tell she was anxious to get where she needed to be. "We're almost there."

He thought for a moment about disentangling their fingers, but she gave his hand a squeeze instead. His heart glowed with nostalgia and hope. The noise around them seemed like music. Cherry trees, which dotted campus, were blooming and they stepped over the petals beneath their feet. Hardly thinking, Jess ran a thumb over the smooth skin of the back of her hand. Her smile grew.

They were approaching the brick building which held the dean of the art school's office. Students whizzed past them with backpacks and frantic looks. A sense of surrealism dawned on Ella. She was going to end up at an Ivy League, after all. Just a little later than she had once hoped she would. The air smelled clean and damp with spring.

"So," Jess began, coming to a stop a few feet from the walkway which led to the double doors, "after this, you're all set?"

"Guess so," she said, slightly breathless with the moment.

He hummed, looking around him. "Y'know, this morning, I was thinking-"

"That's a bad sign," Ella interjected.

Jess rolled his eyes. "Age has not helped your stand-up material, Stevens."

"I disagree," she said shortly. "Please, continue."

He sighed heavily, separating their fingers and running a hand over his mouth. "Well, you don't have a place to live here yet, right?"

"Not yet."

"I was thinking maybe you'd want to come live with us. Above Truncheon," he said, spitting out the words as fast as he could.

Ella's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?"

Jess nodded shyly. "My bed's big enough. And I don't have that much stuff; there's room for you. Chris already loves you. I'm sure Matthew wouldn't mind either. And your sketches are down in the main room anyway. We could put a price on them and...only if you want to. I know it's a lot to process, so you don't need to answer right now or anything."

Her eyes were calculating as she gathered her thoughts. "Just so I'm clear...you want us to get back together. And you want us to live together in your apartment. With Matthew and Chris. Above Truncheon."

"Yes," Jess confirmed, tone growing more confident, though his heart was beating painfully against his ribs.

"Are you sure? I mean...we haven't seen each other in two years. Maybe time has corrupted me," she said, voice serious despite her weak joke.

Again, he sighed. "I think we were both pretty corrupted to begin with-"

"How Kurt Cobain of you."

"And I don't care how long it's been. We've got a lot to make up for. I feel like I've been waiting for you forever. And I'm tired of waiting. I'm ready to try again. Really try, this time. But only if you are. Only if you want this too," he said.

A familiar nausea rose in his throat, and his hands began to shake. The only other time he'd taken such a leap of faith, it hadn't gone over well. But everything was different. He was settled, with a steady income. She had graduated, and was finally embracing her dreams. His foolish hope persisted, even still. When he'd woken up next to her again, in a bed which he'd bought himself, and eaten breakfast with her, read morning papers with her, he could think of nothing he wanted more. Communication, he reminded himself. Open and honest communication. Even if he still wanted to roll his eyes at just the thought of Luke's self-help nonsense.

"And," he continued, when she hadn't said a word, was only turning thoughts over in her head silently, "you don't have to say anything now. I...dammit. I should've done this after your interview. I just got caught up after yesterday and this morning. I wasn't sure if I'd see you later and...I didn't mean to freak you out. I'm sorry. Really, you don't have to say anything-"

"Jess," she interrupted, finally locking eyes with him again. "Just shut up for a second."

"Okay."

After chewing on her thumb nail for a moment, she blew a breath out through her nose with finality. "Can I get cactuses again? There was no place for them at Lane's. And, Jesus, you guys have got to organize your living room. I mean, the kitchen and your bedroom are okay. But I have no idea how you guys even find anything. The piles of paperwork on the table are, like, seven feet high."

A slow grin formed on Jess's face, and the worry began to clear from his brown eyes. "You can do whatever you want, Stevens."

"Truer words never spoken," she agreed earnestly. "You better make room for my fucking records then, too. They've been living in my car for way too long."

Jess chuckled, nodding slightly. His eyes lingered on her lips. "I was thinking about kissing you, just now. Is that okay?"

Ella thought her heart would melt at his words. "Go for it, Mariano."

Jess brought his hands to her waist and kissed her. For the first time in years. Ella smiled into it, pressed against him. It tasted sugary-sweet, from the donuts they'd eaten. Her fingers tangled into his hair, longer and less greasy than she remembered. But it felt much the same. A tingly joy began in her stomach and then spread throughout her body, new and old and welcome and perfect.

. . .

Of all the people not to be at Lane's wedding, Ella did not expect Luke to miss it. For some reason, he was still out of town for April's field trip. Not that it was any of her business, but she couldn't help be slightly irritated at his absence. However, she wasn't entirely alone. Though Lane and the other people in her life weren't exactly sold on him, Ella had taken a shot in the dark and invited Jess. At Mrs. Kim's millionth reference to her loneliness, her lack of a date, Ella had finally let it slip to Lane. She had seen Jess again. They were talking on the phone every single night. She was set to move in with him in a week. And, soon, she was calling him up. Hearing the surprised tone of his voice, his apprehension to come back to town. But, honestly, he'd caved a little quicker than she thought he would. All it had taken was her offering to try Hemingway again. And Kerouac. She knew she was going to absolutely loathe the latter, but it would be worth it.

As the ceremony ended, most of Lane's family, including her mother, left the gathering in town square. None of them were eager to party with the townies. Kirk revealed the white food truck parked on the street opposite the gazebo to actually be the bar. He was exploring business ownership, and Yummy Bartenders was his most recent endeavor. Lorelai, without Luke and somehow having ended up with Rory's father, Christopher, as her date, flocked straight to the alcohol. It made Ella snort a laugh, but inside, it made her heart ache. Luke and Lorelai had taken so long to get together. And now, things were headed nowhere good. A hot, dry sunlight shone down on them in yellow tones, and soon the sky would darken. Everyone's mood had changed as soon as they left the church. Lorelai ripped off the bottom half of Lane's dress, revealing her calves joyfully. Standing beside Ella, Rory let out a hoot of excitement and rushed over to the new bride. Snickering, Ella took the long pin from her low bun and let her blonde waves loose down her back.

Jess tucked her hair behind her ear gently as they both took a moment to breathe. The church had been stuffy and hot, filled to the brim with people. The air was no cooler, but at least there was a wide open space to mingle in. Grabbing his hand, Ella ventured a glance at Jess. As soon as his rusty Ambassador had rolled into town three hours earlier, she could sense how anxious he was. Maybe just being in Stars Hollow made him uncomfortable, or maybe it gave him too many flashbacks to his own mother's wedding.

"You okay? I have the key to the diner, if you wanna go. I called Luke earlier and he said we could stay in the apartment. I'll be up there later," she said, tone apologetic.

Jess shook his head. "No. I'm fine. Just don't know where we should sit."

"Next to Miss Patty?" she asked. The dance teacher had noticed her across the way, and Ella waved back at her.

"She'll eat me alive," Jess sighed. "What about with Rory and Lorelai?"

Narrowing her eyes, Ella considered it. Then, she bit the inside of her cheek for a moment. "I don't know. I haven't been so close with them recently. And I don't know if I wanna get in the middle of the happy family back together."

"Fair enough," Jess agreed. "Alright. Miss Patty and Babette, then. But I'm counting on your protection."

Her grin grew wicked. "Don't worry, honey. I'm your knight in shining polyester."

. . .

Hep Alien was on fire, despite the wasted state of every single band member. Balmy breezes blew and Ella's flushed skin was finally beginning to cool down. The night was dark and the sky clear. Every so often, her eyes flicked to Rory, Lorelai, and Christopher's table. Sookie and Jackson had been sitting with them, but they had long since left. Without Ella to babysit the kids, they'd had to hire a new girl. Jackson could barely handle the nerves at a random high-schooler watching his babies. Ella twirled her rings nervously on her fingers, while Patty, Babette, and Maury chain-smoked across the centerpiece floral arrangement. Jess, at her side, had his arm around her shoulder. He stroked her upper arm absently.

He raised an eyebrow and followed her gaze to Rory. "What's with you?"

"Hm?" she asked, blinking the reverie from her eyes. Facing him again, Ella was struck by how much more mature he looked. Back in Stars Hollow, but as a man with a publishing business and a decently neat bedroom of his own. Despite the uneasiness brewing in her stomach, she also felt pride appear. It didn't shock her where he ended up. But it still made her feel such joy to see him successful and content.

Jess nodded in the direction of the Gilmores, three tables over. "Did something happen between you guys? Is it why you weren't a bridesmaid?"

Ella shook her head. "No. I wasn't a bridesmaid because Mrs. Kim hates me with the fire of a thousand suns. I mean, my outfit alone is probably enough for her to condemn me."

Giving Ella a once-over, Jess smirked wider. Her camisole dress was black, with small pink flowers embroidered on it. It had thin spaghetti straps and fell above her knees. Of course, there were no heels on her shoes, black leather ballet flats. The ensemble was so very Ella, along with her dark eye makeup. And, it was true, Mrs. Kim was not a fan of anything which could be described as 'so very Ella.'

"It does give off a certain Beetlejuice vibe," Jess agreed.

"The best compliment you've ever given me," she said lightly, then turned back to the crowd of wedding-goers. "But...I don't know. Rory slept with Dean when he was married and then took a year off from Yale and stole a boat."

"What?" Jess chirped, almost choking on the watery soda he sipped. He'd debated going to the bar, but decided against it. Best not to get drunk in the town where everyone hated you. Especially when your long lost girlfriend didn't drink anyway.

A certain sadness came to Ella's smile, shrinking slightly. She tugged at her earring. "Yeah. And she was fighting with Lorelai forever. They weren't talking. I'm also pretty sure the guy Rory's dating now is some trust fund kid from Yale with a porsche."

"Ugh," Jess grimaced, unable to hold back his distaste.

"We're just...different. We grew up. Went in different directions. I mean...Lane and Rory are still best friends. I was friendly with her at a bachelorette party last night. But it's weird now. I can't...I don't really know her anymore, I guess."

Jess nodded.

She shrugged again, deflective. "I still love Lorelai. But I haven't seen her much lately, since Luke didn't want her to meet April, which is a whole different beast. Things...changed. But, hey, maybe I changed too."

"You did," Jess said. "But not in a bad way."

She scoffed, gently plucking at the collar of his white button-up. He wore with it black pants, completing their gothic look when they stood together. Ella knew, though, that both of their outfits came cheap and basic. That's why they had them. Of course, he still refused to wear a tie of any kind. "You too. Still a jackass, though."

"Glad you see me in such a positive light."

"But, in an arguing-with-me-about-Kerouac kind of way. Not in a gnome-stealing, running-off-to-California kind of way," she explained, feeling goosebumps rise on her pale skin where his fingertips still brushed against her arm.

As much as Jess lived in his words, touch had always been such a major form of communication with him. Older and able to judge it more easily, Ella could see it. It calmed him down, made him feel safe. She could understand that. It was what happened when someone grew up in a place where they were often touched in anger.

"Well, the Kerouac defense will never change. He's a genius," Jess insisted mockingly.

Ella rolled her eyes, leaning back against him. "You're impossible."

"Right back at ya."

The band began one of their familiar White Stripes covers. Ella couldn't count how many times she'd heard it over the years, during nightly practice. It was so odd to see Lane in a wedding dress, all grown up. A nostalgic smile ghosted over her lips and she sighed. Neither she nor Jess said a word for a long while, comfortable in each other's grasp. June crickets and cicadas sung, mixing with the sound of Zach's vocals. Patty and Babette laughed heartily at something across the table. The air smelled of cigarettes and beer and summer-cut grass. Soon, the song faded away and Zach played the opening chords to something different, something Ella hadn't heard him play in a long time. "Sweet Thing" by Van Morrison, a cover they'd attempted after Ella moved in, when she'd let Lane hear one of her Jeff Buckley live albums, on which he did his own cover of the song. She broke into a full grin. It was the perfect song for a late-night wedding reception, romantic and long and calm.

Jess seemed to notice her brightening up at the tune, as he sat up and faced her with a mysterious smile. "You wanna dance?"

She snorted a disbelieving chuckle. "Excuse me?"

"Do you wanna dance? I know you like this song."

Ella raised her eyebrows. "Liking the song is one thing. Subjecting everyone to the horrifying visual of my dance moves is another."

He rolled his eyes, standing up and extending a hand to her. "So dramatic. It's a slow song. And we didn't dance at Liz and TJ's wedding. Making up for lost time."

"Fine," she sighed, taking his hand, and letting him pull her up. "But it's your funeral."

"I like to live dangerously," Jess said, leading her to the dance floor.

"Whatever, James Dean."

Before they were out of range, Miss Patty blew a stream of bluish smoke in their direction and gave a bark of haughty laughter. "I'd watch out for her, young man. Have you heard about the domino incident of 1992? Ella made the Gazette. Her talents run more towards the musical."

His smirk grew. "I've been warned."

They passed Lorelai on the way, lingering by the bar and sipping her Manhattan. Tumbler filled with cherries, sugar on the rim. The sight almost made Ella want to chuckle, almost grimace. The drink looked as sweet as cotton candy, but she would expect nothing less of a Gilmore woman. More than half of the sleepovers she'd had with Rory involved a midnight raid of the kitchen. S'mores pop tarts were one of Ella's personal favorites. Lorelai reached out an arm to stop them, wavering drunkenly on her feet.

"Ugh, I can't believe Sid Vicious is back," she slurred to Ella, pointing at Jess angrily.

With Lorelai so close to her face, Ella could smell the tequila on her breath. "I told you before. He's got more of a Richard Hell vibe, in my opinion."

Jess blushed, but said nothing. He only tightened his grip on Ella's hand.

"Your uncle is out of town," Lorelai continued, facing Jess.

"That he is," Jess said shortly. Time had passed, but it was clear Lorelai still wasn't quite over her contempt for him. Though, he could definitely recognize what an asshole he'd been as a teenager.

Lorelai laughed bitterly. "He's with his daughter. Who Ella's met and you've met and Rory's met. And I haven't met!"

Searching her head for a careful response, Ella was utterly relieved when Rory came up from behind her mother.

"Hey, mom, let's get some coffee for you, why don't we?" Rory asked, voice bouncy and nervous.

"You got her?" Ella raised her eyebrows at Rory as she took her mother by the shoulders and began steering her away.

"Oh, I guess we're going over here now," Lorelai muttered in drunken surprise.

"Yeah, go have fun," Rory answered with a little wink, disappearing into the crowd with her mother, headed for the table where her father and some steaming coffee sat.

Blowing out a long breath, Jess shook his head. "I take it that she and Luke aren't seeing eye to eye."

"Understatement of the year," Ella scoffed. "No matter where she and Luke are though, I think you'll always be a portrait of Sid Vicious to her."

"Not even with the haircut?" he asked as they made it to the edge of the wooden dance floor.

"Not even with the haircut," she replied with a smug smirk.

With a heavy breath, Ella placed her hands on the back of Jess's neck as he brought his hands to her waist. She felt glad Hep Alien's version of the song was nearly ten minutes long; it would have nearly been over after Patty's warning and Lorelai's ramblings if not.

"Don't worry, Elle. Just follow my lead," Jess said quietly, beginning to sway side to side, taking small steps.

"Shut up, I'm focusing," she hissed, watching her feet.

He chuckled slightly. "Relax. Just look at me."

Sighing again, Ella managed to drag her gaze away from her shoes and up to Jess's big brown eyes.

"Hi," he whispered, smiling fondly.

"Hi," she replied, feeling the anxiety in her stomach lessen slightly. "Deja-vu, huh?"

"Maybe a little," he said, shrugging. "But I'd say things are looking a little sunnier now."

"Still finding those silver linings." Ella gave him an affectionate peck on the lips.

Why was she nervous?, she asked herself. She didn't need to be. Maybe it was the future creeping up on her, or her exit from the only place she had ever lived only a week away. But, as she looked at Jess, she felt her heartbeat slow. And her lips even turned up a touch at the corners. Where she was going, he'd be.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought! Feedback is greatly appreciated! This is the product of some intense writer's block so honestly I have no idea the quality.

Eennio: I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Also, I'm not sure if you would call them flashbacks, but Eleanor's time as an undergrad will definitely be explored more. And Jess's last few years will be explored a little bit more too. I'm so excited to write future chapters! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!