The Promises we Keep

Chapter 21

By: Ryu Niiyama

In Truth, deception...In Longing...destruction...

Supergirl toggled the flight controls to auto pilot, it would take her about an hour to reach the location that the homing beacon from Alex's bond bracelet indicated. She looked out the window, thinking of Alex and her eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment as she saw a streak of yellow heading towards Earth. A meteor perhaps? She'd worry about that later, for now she thought of the mission Lady El had placed her on. Her counterpart was trusting her to get to Alex first and if she couldn't prove Alex's innocence, then she had to get her to safety where the New Kryptonians couldn't reach her. If that happened…Alex would lose everything she'd gained in the decades she'd been gone. Her heart broke for her beloved sister, her Light…her heart, yet there was another pain, one she could no longer let fester and rot away at her soul. The Last Daughter of Krypton closed her eyes briefly needing to face what she had skirted around for so long…too long. Here in the reaches of space, as she flew her craft to Alex's rescue she could no longer hide from herself.

As always, her thoughts turned to Alex.

Alex had both fascinated and terrified her at first; the young human had been bewitchingly pretty even when they were children, and her somewhat serious mien, unusual for a human at her age, called to the desire for order and decorum in her Kryptonian heart. Yet she had not been ready then, not to bond, not to trust, not after she'd watched everyone she knew and loved die. Kal didn't feel the weight of it like she did; he had believed he was some sort of meta human for most of his life, only learning of his true nature not long before Kara arrived and as such he didn't feel the guilt, the pain that nearly hollowed her out in those early days.

Yet through it all there was always Alex. Even when she was unkind, compassion always gentled her heart and yet perhaps it was the wish of being acknowledged that every adolescent possessed that also prompted her to treat Kara like a person. Not always a person that she liked, but in many ways always a person that she loved. Kara had no choice but to fall in love in the face of such benevolence. Alex didn't want a bonding, but her kind heart showed Kara that the recourse was time. If she abided faithfully then when her own heart had healed enough she would be ready for her bondmate to come to her. So she bloomed under Alex's attention over the years, her trauma forever a part of her, but now faded into a well-known scar.

It had taken time but Kara had believed in her heart that she could properly serve as her cousin intended, that she could stand by her bondmate in trust and in love. Yet human love was different, physical mating overtook almost everything, flashes of lust drowning out years of enfolding ones lives together. The virtues that Krypton exalted, humans deemed boring and Kara spiraled briefly as she was submerged in human popular culture and besieged by teenagers with hormones. She had been ostracized by most of her peers growing up, and terrified that Alex would be no different than the rest of her kind, yet her guiding Light never faltered. Their lives enfolded until one was rarely seen without the other but there had been a cost, one that Kara Zor-El, had to become Kara Danvers to bear.

They were family, a word that meant something different to each of them, yet Kara was the outsider here and she had to concede to human standards. She had held on to hope that by the time she'd healed enough that Alex would need her, that she would be worthy enough to stand by her Light's side as they were meant to be, and yet she watched Alex secret away a part of herself even as she gave the remainder of her heart and soul to Kara. Alex's crush on Vicki had been obvious, even to an alien that had to navigate the somewhat unfamiliar landmine of human pheromones and sexual attraction and that time period had been beyond confusion for Kara in her youth. What she had rationalized as some instinctive misgivings about Vicki's worthiness as a friend to Alex, were in hindsight jealousy both romantic and not, as well a clash between the Kryptonian definition of their relationship that she'd desperately clung to versus the human one that was eroding everything.

In some ways, her view of Alex as a bondmate had been her last way to cling to Kara Zor-El. She had failed to be Kal's protector, but she had been bonded in treaty with another house and as the last representative of the Guild of Thought she had to do this one thing right. Yet as Alex's love grew, nurtured by the bond of sisterhood, keeping with Krypton's traditions had become a poison primed to destroy everything that they had become. To be a bondmate, no to be a wife here, Kara would have to tie herself to Alex sexually. Although, spending her physical maturity while saddled with hyper aware senses and access to the internet for research made that far less of a horrifying thought than she'd expected. She associated love with sexual desire, her Kryptonian emphasis on the emotional bond made the physical easy to kindle but living on Earth provided unique… complications to that.

She still hadn't explained to Eliza or Alex just how she burned a hole in her ceiling or broken her bed that one night.

A small part of her blamed Indigo, her pod had been designed to ease her into a virtual teaching program as she slept, to keep her mind active and her heritage close, but instead the cybernetic organism overrode that education programing, leaving Kara instead to drift in dreamless sleep. That meant that for her, Krypton's destruction was fresh in her mind, rather than decades past, and all of her formal education had stopped at the age of 13 even though she had been chronologically 37. She didn't know how she would have fared as an aware adult in an adolescent's body, but she suspected that she at least would have been able to better navigate the emotions that she'd began to harbor towards Alex if only she'd had that chance to process her loss and come to know herself.

Yet she truly knew that she could blame no one but herself. Because Alex would not come to her, because Alex would not behave as a Kryptonian, Kara let the dream of bonding die in her heart. She remembered the words spoken under the grip of RedK, the lament that her potential, her beauty and Alex's deep rooted rejection of her would shackle a goddess. Yet it was not a goddess whose heart had been broken by her own hand.

She remembered the way Lucy pushed and demanded that she face the truth but she realized now that she still hid from her own heart. She thought that so long as Alex remained by her side in some way she could heal, that she could undo the damage done by the breaking of their bond. But she now understood that it would never heal, they would never return because their love was not the same. Alex could not meet her idealized standard of a Kryptonian bondmate, not because she was not worthy of it but because it had been a view held by a child. Kara Zor-El arrived on Earth as a child, and she could no longer take Alex to task for not being what Kara had imagined she should have been. Yet Kara was not human, no matter how long she lived on Earth…she was not her cousin, she could not ask for Alex to give her everything, when she only offered half of herself. The decision to hide all of herself had been her own; she accepted its burden and let it shape everything that she was. She could not blame Alex for not being Kryptonian, and she could not be faulted for not being human, so the only thing she could be was Kara…and in her heart she now knew that she wanted to be Alex's Kara…her only Kara.

She loved Alex, it was a truth deeper than her soul…but she could no longer run from the fact that she was completely in love with her human as well.

In all the ways that one woman could love another, with all the fervor and devotion that her six chambered heart could hold. She loved Alex with all the possession of a human love and all of the unity and purity of a Kryptonian love. She loved the sweet human that had shaped so much of her life and left it barren when she departed from it. It was one thing to face her jealousy of Lady El for her place in Alex's life but another to realize that it was not merely a place in Alex's life that Kara coveted. She wanted to be the one, the one that Alex desired, lusted after and yearned for. She wanted to be the one to ruin Alex's heart and body, so that no other could tempt her away. She wanted all of the secrets that Alex's body sought to hide, the pleasure, the bliss, the ecstasy. She wanted those treasures for herself and to give the same in return. She wanted more than to be the one that Alex loved…for she realized that even after all that had torn them apart this was the one thing she had always possessed. But it wasn't enough, not now, not ever again.

She would not deny the heartache her choices had caused her, perhaps if she had extended her hand in mercy, Alex would be her wife, and by some application of Kryptonian technology, she would be the mother of her daughters. Kara Danvers let herself dream for one moment, a shared home, a shared life with the woman she loved but human society told her that she could never have. Did Alex want a dog? Kara had a funling, a puppy, when she had been on Krypton and she'd slept by her bed every night. Alex hadn't been allowed to have a dog growing up due to the busy schedule of both herself and her parents, and once Kara arrived, a pet was the last thing on anyone's mind.

There had to be a way, some way to turn Alex's fear of her into love, into passion unending. She didn't care what Alex had shared with Lady El, for surely, surely she could love her better.

Yet before she could let her resolve solidify, she forced herself to face one other truth: her anger and disappointment in Kal-El. She loved her cousin and forgave his ignorance, but it was his abandonment that hurt the most. She could forgive him for unknowingly giving her to Alex as her intended bondmate, she could forgive his confusion and romanticizing of Kryptonian culture but he left her alone, unwanted with aliens when they were the last of their kind. Yet she couldn't blame him entirely, for her fear was truly her own. She feared Alex's rejection and Eliza's disgust, she feared the humans that placed so much emphasis in how they viewed that people should behave, she feared trying to reach Kal would only push him further away and she feared herself. She feared failing Alex, she feared being her burden. In Kryptonian culture bondmates were equals, a bonding that didn't bring strength from both sides was an abomination. Yet on Earth she was nothing… No guild, no status or wealth, even her intelligence had to remain hidden…and her powers, the one thing that Earth had given her…she had been deemed redundant. Kara Danvers remembered Alex's fear when she saved her, her beloved human willing to die to keep Kara from exposing herself, and she had been willing to die to keep Kara's grief at the death of her Aunt from destroying her.

It wasn't Alex that she'd been angry with when RedK had twisted her thoughts…it was herself. She had warped and twisted Alex's life beyond recognition and even after that she was still of no use to her. She'd claimed that it was so that Alex could cloak her beauty but the truth was that Kara felt unremarkable…and thus unworthy. The world had ignored her until she mimicked her cousin, and even then they only saw her as an extension of him. Yet Alex shined no matter what. She'd lost her family and her place in her home and still she shined. More than the mediocre lab tech that she'd led Kara to believe she'd been, Alex had instead become a beacon. No matter what Alex did, she could not hide her brilliance…and yet she thought herself ordinary.

The irony of it had nearly driven Kara insane. From her perspective she could not stand by Alex's side and that Alex would slaughter her Aunt had shone how insignificant she truly was. She was an impotent goddess and the one that she would have stand by her side…didn't need her, didn't want her and detested her kind. That pain coupled with her grief for her aunt had caused her to throw away everything. Her display of power under redK had merely been a quest for proof, proof that she could have what was hers by right. If she were a god, all humans would worship and love her and even Alex's hatred would have to burn away under the weight of her divinity. Yet Alex hadn't wanted that, she stood against Supergirl's might, pleading…with a weapon in her hand. Ready to destroy Kara if she couldn't cloak her brilliance once more.

Alex Danvers would not love Kara Zor-El.

Yet she was wrong wasn't she?

Alex needed support and trust and love and Kara Zor-El was worthy enough to provide that…only she wasn't that Kara Zor-El. The thought that her own fears, her own pain served to make her the architect of her own misery gutted her. She loved Alex, desperately, loyally…and there was nothing she could do about it. Lady El didn't take her place, instead she made her own. Whatever potential Alex and Kara had the chance to be…had been solidified to their roles as siblings. Kara Danvers would save and protect Alex Danvers…and then she would return her to her family. But it would have to be Alex's choice as to which family she chose…and how she chose to love them.

It had to be.

The computer chirped out a signal that the pod was beginning the landing sequence and Supergirl blinked away the tears that she hadn't realized she'd been shedding. Now was not the time for her broken heart. Alex needed her and she would protect her, or die trying. Checking the seals on her suit and routing the oxygen mix to its independent source, Kara waited until the landing sequence cycled and she opened the cockpit door and rose carefully aloft, testing her flight. It seemed fitting that Nor-Zar had crashed on the dark side of Earth's Moon. The moon had an atmosphere of sorts, so she could technically fly, but it was difficult due to its scant, nearly nonexistent nature. She couldn't rely on flight then, but super speed should still be somewhat useful but her hearing was muffled, distorted so she knew she wouldn't be able to find Alex by sound. Carefully, the maiden of might sprinted forward rushing towards the trajectory in the beacon and the bright yellow light that shown over the horizon.

Alex Danvers sunk to her knees and she closed the eyes of the mangled corpse at her feet. Shara Ren-Zod, one of the last of house Zod and Alex's apprentice. The young woman's mahogany skin looked pallid in death, while her glassy violet eyes had stared at nothing as she looked up. The young woman had only been three years older than Alex's own daughters and it broke her heart to see her meet such a gruesome end. The House Ship was in tatters, but it hadn't been completely destroyed. The atmospheric shielding still held, not that it mattered as the ship, once the size of a city and its surrounding countryside had become a necropolis. Alex recognized the burns and cuts that lanced through the body of her apprentice…these wounds were not sustained in the ship's crashing into the moon, but instead were made by Lantern energy. So it was true then, Kal-El had found a way to manipulate her Lantern into a weapon. That also meant that she would not be able to charge, so she would have to be conservative with her powers, lest she end up powerless.

Behind her, Var wept silently as the main computer returned no lifesigns…a tenth of their population, gone due to the greed of one man.

"How could he do this?"

The Green Lantern said nothing, but her mind turned over the answers over and over. Kal-El needed a way to force all of .Jor:Kypton to Earth 38, Kara thought herself secret but Alex knew that her bondmate wanted her to step foot on the planet of her birth again. Having grown up with Kara Danvers and loved Kara Zor-El of House Danvers gave her an easy insight to her bondmate's heart. But Kal-El had twisted a gift into a prison; if Kara hadn't completed the engines then they would all be stranded here. Earth could barely accommodate two Kryptonians let alone nearly three million of them.

Alex pulled a data crystal from Shara's hand and handed it to Var. The General's light olive features paled as she listened to the log that Alex's fallen apprentice had left. She'd overheard Nor talking about Earth and decided to investigate. The citizens of .Jor:Krypton had been kept in the dark about the effects of a yellow sun for generations, and High Chancellor El had used Myriad to enforce an aversion to ever seeking that knowledge. Yet Nor had known due to his friendship with Kal-El and he'd been manipulated into leading the charge against Earth-38. Not as an army, but as a sacrifice, his theft of the prototype engine would force the entirety of .Jor:Krypton to follow him and doing so would strand them in this universe unless the temporal dilation was stabilized. Of course with a veritable paradise ripe for the taking, Kal-El likely thought he could stage a coup with promises of dominion over Earth as reward for betrayal.

Alex wanted to feel shocked or appalled at the thought but to be frank Kal-El's actions were very Kryptonian; logical, empirical…and honest. The truth of the matter was that Kara Zor-El had lied to her people for decades, her lies kept them alive and their culture whole, but the .Jor:Kryptonians might not see it that way. Why live as vagabonds when they could be gods? She thought of Clark and her sister, they had become Kryptonian in blood only. Kara Danvers could not honor the rituals of her people and her powers set her apart from them. The Girod would crumble under the weight of near limitless power and the nobility of Krypton would cease to be. In this Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El of House Danvers were the same. They carried on the spirit of Krypton in their hearts, but where Sol and Earth had blunted Kara Danvers's path, .Jor:Krypton and the artificial light of Rao allowed High Chancellor El to keep to hers. Alarmed, Alex rose and regarded Var warily. The Asian featured woman arched an eyebrow in response, shaking her head slowly.

"I stand with my Lady. You need not fear my betrayal Commander Danvers-El, so long as you stand with her as well. I seek a home for my people…but I will not take yours. Krypton's legacy is greater than that…Our Lady is greater than that."

Alex let out a ragged breath in response, thankful that she didn't have to face Var in battle, but it didn't change the fact that they had to get back to the Council as soon as possible. She reached out to clasp Var's shoulder only to half stumble back as it felt like the entire city was besieged by quakes and tremors. The Lantern collapsed to her knees as she felt the psionic echo of pain and rage so overwhelming that she could barely breathe as tears began to stream down her face uncontrollably. Gritting her teeth, the Lantern reached out to Var who quickly offered a steadying hand even as she used her interface with the main computer to source the nature of the tremors. The computer zeroed in on an energy source, spewing Red Lantern energy like a waterfall and pressed against the apex of the Nth metal dome that encased the city.

"Var, what the hell is that?"

"Not what…who. It is Lady Danvers…Supergirl."

Alex stared at the image of her sister attempting to bring the entire city to ruin and her heart broke all over again.

Aboard the Alexandria, High Chancellor El closed the video with Astra, the High General briefing her personally and implicating the possible instigator of all of this. The Kryptonian noble clutched her belly, trying not to retch up her last meal as the weight of Astra's words had slammed into her.

Kara Zor-El felt as if her world was falling apart. Her mother was in a coma and her Aunt's legs had been broken in several places and she was stubbornly refusing both treatment and to leave her sister's side until Alura opened her eyes. Her children…by Rao her children were missing, all three of them. She loved Aunt Astra dearly but she couldn't accept that Kal-El had been the source of all of this pain. Not yet, not while Nor-Zar was still unaccounted for…his actions sparked all of this pain, and apprehending him would be the first step to setting things right. Alexandra and Thara had gone in search of answers and hopefully to clear Alexandra's name of all possible wrong doing. Her father was beside himself with grief and worry and she ached with him, both as a daughter and as a woman that knew what it was to have her bondmate out of reach. If Alexandra was unable to prove her innocence, then she would either be put to death, or if Kara Danvers managed to protect her then she would go where Kara Zor-El could not follow.

She hadn't wanted things to end like this… if Alexandra was absconded to Earth, rather than sent away as was her hope, then Kara could not send their daughters with her. Deep azure eyes closed at that thought. All of her plans were being twisted beyond recognition. She had wanted to return Alexandra to Earth, to dissolve their bonding and send their daughters to live by her side. As much as Kara Zor-El hated the thought of the monstrous power that Earth's sun would levy upon her daughters' shoulders living on Earth would mean that they would grow up with a stability that Kara couldn't provide her family and Alexandra would have a protector mightier than the heavens to keep her safe. This time Kara Danvers would be loyal, her insidious defect would finally be of some use and Kara Zor-El would be strong enough to set her as Alexandra's knight.

She would be stronger than Loyalty. She would give Alexandra home again…even if it destroyed her.

Lady El placed a communication to her mother's second, Adjudicator Xin-Trell and within moments the communication hologram of the young man stood before her. Alexandra had always stated that Adjudicator Trell reminded her of a First Nation person, a Native American, although his dark crimson eyes, a rarity for Kryptonians proved his heritage easily. She forwarded to him the transcription she'd made with Astra's testimony on it, the word of the High General enough to allow the Chancellor to demand an inquiry. The young man frowned as he read over the notes, his eyes snapping to his sovereign in question. She knew what he wanted to ask and she raised her hand in dismissal. She could not afford to be weak; she could not let her love for her son risk the safety of the people.

"I want him found. No one is above the law, not even my son! The law binds us all, and if he breaks the law, he answers to me!"

Adjudicator Trell bowed, his long hair flowing about his shoulders as he did so until the transmission cut. Kara Zor-El pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, dismayed at foolish actions that placed everything she'd worked for in jeopardy.

"I'm so happy you feel that way mother, for I invoke my legal right to challenge your seat upon the council."

"Kal? What have you done? Where are your sisters!? You have thrown away everything, you have no rights!"

"Perhaps not in your eyes, but I have the blood of Jor-El in my veins and I have the truth. You will answer my challenge, or you will become a widow."

Kara Zor-El of House Danvers and El flinched as her son, the boy she'd raised as her own produced an image of her bondmate and their daughters held captive. Dark azure eyes traced over their features with aching yearning and she forced herself to look away and meet Kal-El's eyes.

"Call the tribunal, mother. And you may want to be quick about it."

While Kara Danvers has faced her love for Alex throughout this story, I wanted her to take her time to face her desire. To let her fall into outrage and anger first and to let Lucy (mostly because A) I enjoy her character, B) Lucy is enough of a neutral party that Kara can't dismiss her or push her away) hammer cracks into her yearning. Kara is aware of Alex sexually, even of Alex's ability to desire but it still "othered" in a way that Kara doesn't realize until now. The goal is to help Kara unpack all the layers that come with her tie to Alex, as sisters, as a love interest, a Alex being a married woman, Alex as a bondmate vs Alex as a wife in the human sense, as Alex and Kara being of hybrid cultures mixed on opposite ends of their lives, and the validity of Kara's thoughts under RedK. I don't want to just throw out Kara's RedK thoughts and actions as Evil, and I feel that her thoughts had some validity even if she could not accept input from others at the time.

On the other hand I want to lean on Lady El being wholly Kryptonian but with the life experience (she is nearly 70 in this fic after all) needed that she doesn't drape Alex in Kryptonian culture (aside from her intense respect and admiration) but still has the Kryptonian long view that may or may not destroy her life with her human spouse. At the same time I hope that I still capture the earnestness and self-sacrificing and responsible nature that is purely Kara, either of them, as they are reflections of each other…just distorted by time.

This story is essentially on Hiatus as I work on other fics, but the muse wouldn't leave me alone for this chapter.