2019

"James is suing you." She said in growing disbelief, as if saying it in a different way would somehow make it more real..

"Yeah," Crowley choked out.

"Why would he do that?" Anathema asked. "Why would he sue his own kid-"

"Because I'm not. I'm not his kid, and I knew." Crowley retorted, looking at the papers and then tossing them down on the work table. He began to pace the area he was in like a caged tiger, pulling at his hair where he could. "I knew for years I wasn't his kid, and I… I took my inheritance. So now, instead of being a father… he… he turned businessman. He's suing for his portion of the Garden. What the inheritance would've covered."

"Which is…?" Anathema asked.

Crowley looked down at the forms and swallowed again, stopping his prowl. "This one? None. London? My savings -which were meant to go into the shop- went to my flat, to stuff for it and for Warlock. I had the building, but… my inheritance would have covered about seventy percent of the start up costs, sixty at best. Which would mean, if he won-"

"He would own more of it than you." Anathema said slowly, the realization coming to her as it did Crowley.

"And he'll want to buy me out." Crowley nodded. "And when I don't sell, when I refuse, he'll drag me into another legal battle I would likely never win to wrestle the rest from me."

"You're talking like he's already won." She pointed out.

"He may as well have, Anathema." Crowley replied hopelessly, a mirthless laugh escaping from him. He ran his hand over his mouth, trying to rid himself of the smile he didn't mean, but it wouldn't budge. "I don't have my own lawyers, I have a Crowley family lawyer. Meaning, of course, they work for the same firm as whoever my father has does, and they won't touch my counter case for anything." He shook his head. "I am fucked."

"I still don't understand," Anathema said, pressing her hands to her head before swinging them wide. "Yes, you're not biologically his kid. And yeah, you knew for an age, and he probably did, too."

Crowley moved his head from side to side, hand doing the same to say the "sorta" he couldn't choke out.

"So why does it make a difference?" Anathema demanded. "It can't possibly be because your mother left him, so what made him suddenly decide that thirty-four years of being your dad suddenly doesn't matter?"

Crowley met her gaze dead on. "I'm marrying a man."

Her jaw dropped. "You fucking can't be serious."

"How can you say that when you know what he's like."

"A homophobic asshole? Yeah, I get that."

"He made me an ultimatum weeks ago." Crowley confessed. "Told me to call it off, that he'd know if I didn't, and that I would regret not doing so."

"Ezra's going to freak." Anathema said with a shake of her head.

"Ezra's not going to know." Crowley warned, pointing at her. "Not until I have this sorted, and don't you dare tell him, either." He said before roughly opening a drawer in his work table and stuffing the papers inside. He then grabbed his jacket. "I'm counting on you to keep this between us." He said more gently as he stopped beside her, shrugging it on. "He can't know. If he knows…."

She put a hand on his shoulder, "Do you really think Ezra will walk away if he finds out?"

Crowley looked her in the eye, the word "yes" on his tongue and tasting terrible. He was infinitely certain that Ezra would pack his and Adam's things and leave. He would put as much distance between them as possible, probably only allowing the boys to remain in contact while severing everything else. He'd distanced himself enough times here and there through the years when he thought it would be easier on Crowley, if he thought it would be best.

Anathema seemed to understand without him having to say it, and simply nodded. Letting him go to get the boys, and pretend everything was fine.

~A~

September was coming to a close, the leaves were turning and the morning brought a film of condensation to the windows of the house. Ezra sat on the sofa of the living room in the early hours having not slept a wink the night before. He sipped a cup of tea, taking in the space he was in, noting the way they had blended their lives so seamlessly in so many ways. The tartan throw over the back of the modern sofa, the vinyls a mix of classic rock and classical, homework with two separate styles of handwriting cover the pages. A collection of photographs, of Adam and Ezra, of Warlock and Anthony, of the boys on their first day of school, of Ezra and Anthony on one of their last.

Everything about this should have made him feel warm, but Ezra found himself nearly as cold as the autumn morning.

Something was different.

He'd noticed it about a week ago, when Anthony had been late picking him up. He'd said there was nothing wrong, he smiled and carried on as if there wasn't, but Ezra knew better. Still, he could have chalked it up to a bad day, and let it go.

Except Anthony went into his office that weekend, and barely came out. He stopped sitting with him on the sofa in the evenings to work like he had gotten in the habit of doing. Unless it was designated his night for dinner, he would go off to the now hated room down the hall until the meal was ready. He would still laugh and smile at the boys' stories over dinner, and help with the chores, but he was quiet for the latter. It was like his mind was in the stars, and again, Ezra could have waved it off. He knew, roughly, that there was an anniversary coming up for the Garden in London, so it wasn't a terribly far fetched idea that Anthony had his mind on that.

But he would come to bed late, give barely more than a kiss and a mumbled "love you" before turning over on his side, away from Ezra, and if he wasn't asleep right away, he made no attempts in using that last bit of waking time to engage Ezra in anything.

Individually, these things weren't odd. He knew, he knew that there was a honeymoon period in relationships, when the nights were no longer filled with banter-laced, witty conversations, or passionate and playful physical affection. And they had gone fast, probably too fast, from reunion to practically married in not even half a year, things were bound to cool off just as rapidly.

He knew Anthony Crowley, though. He knew that man to the depths of his soul, and he was hiding something.

There was a voice, small and callous, that tried to convince him that it was more like Anthony was hiding someone . He'd never known Anthony to be unfaithful to those he was with, except for perhaps the enlightening knowledge that all those times in the past he'd been pining for Ezra. It went a long way to ease those worries, though that voice also reminded him that Warlock wasn't exactly a conventional accident.

And if Ezra refused to listen to that line of taunting, the same callous voice reminded him he'd changed physically in the last decade. Ezra was softer, rounder, frumpier even when he was doing his best not to be. Even his tattoos, something he loved because of their meaning, were mismatched and perhaps in awkward places when one were to look over him. Anthony was still a picture of perfection, lithe lines and a walking canvas. Short hair or long, he was always stylish, modern, someone who turned heads and caught attention. A man brides and grooms alike couldn't help but flirt with a little while talking about the arrangements for the day they marry.

It was entirely possible, too, that Anthony encountered enough couples since his own engagement to make him question if marriage was worth it. Because there were so many clients who flirted mercilessly with him. Because he would see, first hand, how quickly the happiness fades as weddings get planned. How many had canceled their orders of the last few years as the date got closer? Anthony could be having cold feet.

Or he could be worried about… but, no. That was silly, Anthony wouldn't start distancing himself because of the date. It was unlikely he even recalled what the last day of September was. And if he had, If he was concerned about Ezra and Adam, he'd have started doting, not withdrawing.

Anthony was hiding something. There was no way around it.

Ezra took a drink of tea, finding it had cooled more than he expected in his ruminations.

"Hey," Anthony's voice came from the stairs, and Ezra very nearly physically startled at the softly spoken word. Anthony frowned at him, taking in the clean trousers and dress shirt, the tea in his hand, then looked at the clock. "Did you sleep last night?" He asked.

Ezra tried a smile. "No."

"Why didn't you take your pill?" Anthony asked, coming toward him, probably far too cold without a shirt to go with his pajama pants.

"I didn't want to put the burden of care entirely on you." Ezra said as Anthony sat on the sofa, a whole cushion between them. Ezra looked at that empty space, then up at Anthony. "You seemed to have had a lot on your mind as of late. I didn't want you to lose more sleep."

"Hard for me to lose sleep," Anthony quipped with a barely-there turn of his lips.

"Still," Ezra said. Then, as nonchalantly as he could, "Is there anything you wanted to talk about?"

"No," Anthony said too evasively. "No, it's fine. Just busy is all. Which reminds me, I need to go to London today."

"Again?" Ezra frowned. "You don't normally go to London this frequently. I think you've spent more time there than at the Tadfield shop."

Anthony shrugged. "Got Anathema running things for me here while I try and get stuff sorted in London."

"Right," Ezra said, hating that Anthony wasn't looking him in the eye.

"Should probably start getting ready," Anthony said, getting back up. "Maybe we can do something different today? Bring the boys out for breakfast before school. Nothing big, you know."

It might have been sweet, even considerate, if the circumstances were different.

"As opposed to just you and I?" Ezra pointed out carefully.

"Well, just a bit easier if I'm honest. Can drop you off at the school right after the boys and head right out on the motorway."

Ezra watched Anthony turn back toward the stairs and head up.

If he were honest. Yes, Ezra quite wished he would be.

~C~

"So Ezra came by," Anathema told him over the phone while he hunkered down in the office of his London shop.

Crowley's blood ran cold. "You didn't-"

"Tell him anything?" Anathema asked. "No. But AJ? You're scaring him."

"I'm not scaring him." Crowley grumbled as Bea returned with lunch, closing the door and sitting opposite of him. He leaned forward, peeking in the brown paper bag and was a bit disappointed to see fish and chips again.

"AJ, I may not know Ezra as well I know you, but I know him. I know when he's nervous he wrings his hand, and when he's worried he stutters, and I have never heard him anything less than confident. Today he asked me if you'd mentioned anything about him lately."

"Don't I always?" He asked as he reached in the bag and took out one of the paper-lined containers.

"Not this last week, you haven't." Anathema retorted. "And the way he looked down at himself, I think he's worried you've been trash talking him or something. Like, maybe he was worried you mentioned how you wish he'd lose weight or change his style."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Crowley asked. Then, before Anathema could respond, added, "Look, everything's fine, okay? You're just… you're reading too much into it."

"Gabriel was with him." Anathema said as if it proved a point.

It didn't, but it certainly had every muscle in Crowley's body go taut.

"What?" He asked.

"Yeah, they came in together." Anathema said. "Ezra was looking at flowers, and when I went over to say hi, well, he made sure Gabriel was out of ear shot, but you know good ol' Gabe. He didn't stay away long."

"Why was Ezra looking at-oh shit! What's today?" Crowley said, shooting forward and scrambling for the terribly out of date desk calendar on the corner and knocking it over.

Bea and Anathema replied, "September 30th," at the same time but with different tones. Bea was confused, with just a touch of disdain at Crowley's behavior, Anathema like she was saying 'I told you so'.

"It's Liza's birthday." Crowley said, collapsing back in his chair and pushing his lunch to the side, suddenly not at all hungry. "I… I can't believe... fuck. No wonder he didn't sleep last night. Oh fuck, Adam! Oh shit." He hung his head and pulled on his hair, barely keeping himself from sobbing. "I forgot. I fucking forgot."

"It's been a long time," Anathema said gently.

"Yeah, but I… I have been… all week I've been trying to figure out how to get the good ones from here to Tadfield without those in Tadfield losing hours. I've been researching lawyers who might take our case against James' firm, and just…. I haven't…."

Bea smacked up upside the head with a fairly thick pad of paper (probably the toppled desk calendar), and he looked up to see them, scowling.

"I told you if you fucked it up with that man I would burn this place to the ground, don't test me." They said loud enough for Anathema to hear them.

"You tell him, Bea." Anathema shouted, making Crowley pull the phone away from his ear and glare at it before bringing it back to his ear in preparation to tell her off.

She beat him to it.

"Gabriel got flowers, just an FYI. And Ezra left with a couple of bouquets."

"You didn't char-"

"No, I didn't charge Ezra, are you insane?" Anathema cut him off. She huffed, then continued. "I'm not sure if they were intending to go visit Eliza's grave together, or…."

"Right, I'm heading back to Tadfield now. I need to smooth things over." He reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet, tossing Bea the cost of his lunch before stuffing it back in and getting up, grabbing his jacket. He hung up on Anathema, stuffing his phone in his pocket and turned to Bea. "I-"

"You don't have to worry about me," They said. "We'll figure out how to get the others out there."

"I am going to worry about you, you were here from the beginning."

"And I'm nauseated by your sense of loyalty," Bea said with what one might call affection at a stretch. "But I'm more worried about the underlings. Which is something we can address after you save your relationship from falling apart."

"Thanks," Crowley grinned.

"I'm doing it for me." Bea said as he headed for the door. "I dealt with the fallout from Ezra Fell before, and just hadn't realized it. I won't be doing it again."

Crowley was about to retort and thought better of it. Instead, he left.

~A~

"Thank you, my dear fellow." Ezra said as Gabriel pulled up to the secondary to drop Ezra back off. "I kept meaning to ask Anthony if he could bring a bunch home, but he's been a bit absent lately."

Gabriel didn't react the way Ezra had expected, which Ezra had to give him credit for.

"Busy with work?" Gabriel asked, a knowing tone and grin with it.

"Seems so," Ezra said as he grabbed the paper bag with the wrapped flowers inside. "And I also want to say I appreciate you coming by to check on me."

"It's what friends do." Gabriel said smoothly.

"Yes, but I know… well, you were never close to Eliza, I wouldn't have expected you to remember her birthday."

Gabriel studied him for a long moment, and just as Ezra was beginning to grow nervous, he said, "You're doing better than I thought you would be."

Ezra gave a chuckle, fake as it was. "Suppose I am," he said. "I've had a lot on my mind the last week. And I'm aware Liza wouldn't have wanted us to make a big fuss over it now that she was gone. As it is, she's probably somewhere rolling her eyes, going on about how she's not around to enjoy the flowers anyway."

Gabriel snorted. "Yeah." He nodded. "Well, if you want me there later, give me a call. I can meet you all there."

"I don't even know if Anthony intends to bring us there. I think I may just excuse Adam and I for a while and head to the cemetery just him and I."

"Well, if you do decide to make it the two of you, call me anyway. I'll drive you two, wait in the car."

"That's very kind of you," Ezra acknowledged. "I'll consider it." He added as he began to get out of the car.

"Later, sunshine." Gabriel said, and Ezra waved again, heading back inside the school to finish out his day.

He was genuinely surprised to see the Bentley waiting for him when he left the building at the end of the day. It hadn't been that prompt all week, always a little later than Anthony usually was.

A part of Ezra was overwhelmed and flooded with affection. The other was deeply, painfully suspicious.

He made his way to the car, smiling as the boys smiled and waved at him, then climbed inside.

Anthony tossesd him a casual grin, then turned the engine, beginning the process of leaving the school grounds while there were still so many others being picked up.

"Where are we going?" He asked, tapping the fancy GPS built into the car.

Ezra frowned. "What do you mean?" He asked.

Anthony glanced at him nervously. "Where is she?" He asked softly, and everything clicked.

"Anathema told you about the flowers," Ezra realized. He'd put them in his brief case before leaving the school, the moisture from the ends having dripped out of the wax-lined paper and ruining the paper bag.

"Yeah," Anthony admitted a little clipped. "Sorry. Didn't realize the day…."

"It's fine, dear." Ezra replied automatically, and hated himself for it. The boys fell silent in the back, their quiet chit chat stopping altogether. Flustered, Ezra reached forward and typed the address in rather than saying it. "You and Lock can stay in the car, if you want. Even Adam, if he doesn't want to."

"If I don't want to what?" Adam asked.

Ezra swallowed the lump in his throat. "Leave flowers on mum's grave." Ezra said over his shoulder, barely turning. "It's something people do." He added before he could be asked why.

"Alright." Adam said softly but not sadly. He and Warlock exchanged a worried look, and it splintered Ezra's already weakening heart.

He sighed, hoping some of the tension that had been building would escape with it. It didn't.

This whole thing was getting out of hand, seeing as how now it was affecting the boys' lives before knowledge of what any of this way even came to the forefront. There was a wall going up between him and Anthony, and if the look the boys shared was anything to go by, they were definitely beginning to feel it, too.

"I'll be there with you, angel." Anthony said softly, affectionately, and that lump in Ezra's throat choked him. He cut off the sob before it escaped, and looked at Anthony with tear filled eyes, seeing the regret in the serpentine eyes too plainly for it to be mistaken.

"Will you?" Ezra asked, all the pain, and anger, frustration and heartache, and that small bit of hope buried underneath it all coming out.

Anthony's knuckles flashed white, the leather of the steering wheel creaking a moment beneath his palm. He swallowed, and nodded, but didn't pull his eyes away from the road.

Ezra nodded as well, then looked out the window the rest of the way to get himself under control.

Gabriel had left flowers.

It was as touching as it was strange, though Ezra had wondered if that's why Gabriel had made the purchase. He'd hoped it was for a date, but it seemed hopes weren't being made reality these days.

Adam laid down one of the bouquets, and tilted his head as he studied the tombstone.

"Do you think mum knows we're doing this?" He asked.

Before Ezra could reply, Anthony said, "Your papa and mum used to leave flowers for their dad on his birthday. It's just a sort of tradition, whether the person who you're giving them to know about it or not."

Ezra got on one knee and laid down his flowers next to Adam's. "I think she knows. And I think she thinks us silly for doing it, which is all the more reason we should." He said to Adam who smiled a little at the prospect of bugging his mum. Ezra then looked back to the stone, seeing the words etched in, but only really able to focus on Eliza's first name. "Could I have a moment?" He asked without turning around or looking at the rest of them.

"Course." Anthony said. "Let's give papa some space, alright?" He said, and Ezra listened to them moving away.

He gave a shuddering sigh, then smiled at the stone, "What I wouldn't give to have you here with me now." He told it. "I may have teased you relentlessly about your dating habits, but you knew what you wanted, what you deserved, and never accepted anything less." He looked at his feet, at the flowers lining her stone. "I'd like to think that means you'd tell me to simply tell him how all this is worrying me. I'd like to imagine… well, in a world where you are here with me now, you'd have brought Warlock home with you, and forced us to work it out. But a world with you still in it would have been so vastly different there's really no telling if I would still be where I am with him. If I'd even have him at all."

Ezra thought he should be tearful, talking about all this to the grave of his sister, but it was actually strangely cathartic. He furrowed his brow, wondering at that, a vivid image of Eliza rolling her eyes at him, shaking her head and probably punching him in the arm flitting in his head. Because she wouldn't want him to still be sad this long, and he was aware.

"I can almost hear you telling me to 'buck up', though perhaps not in those words." He grinned. "I should take a page from you, shouldn't I? I do recall there was a moment with Gavin where you wanted to know where things stood. I remember because I had a stack of essays that needed to be graded, which is quite hard to do when you have a three year old quite eager to play Candy Land for the hundredth time." He waited a moment, collecting his thoughts. "I think I have been talking to air and limestone for long enough." He stood, and almost as though she had been listening, he found himself resolved to settle this before it went too far, and Oxford happened all over again.

~C~

They'd moved down the stairs after tucking the boys in bed, and Crowley was trying to think how he was going to try and mend what he'd done in his forgetfulness. Ezra wasn't distant, but there was something there on the fringes that Crowley had noticed during their evening meal, and again in the clean up, and the normal nightly routines.

As they reached the bottom, Ezra moved to the living area. He stopped a bit aways from the bookshelves and the record player, as if trying to decide what he wanted to select for the evening first.

Crowley remained at the end of the stairs, glancing in the kitchen, then down the small hallway to where his office and the second bathroom was. He looked to Ezra again, seeing him still standing there, and then glanced at the hallway.

"Don't," Ezra said, firm but not loud, and Crowley stiffened. He watched his fiance, but Ezra didn't move. "I would much rather you don't go down the hall tonight."

"Understandable." Crowley conceded, though he wasn't sure what to do. He opened his mouth a few times, but no words came out.

Ezra took a deep breath, "Anthony," He said in a way that Crowley didn't like at all. "Do you regret this?"

Crowley blinked, his mouth still moving soundlessly but now for a different reason. His brow drew together as a deep frown took over. "What?" He said, perhaps a bit louder than he should.

Ezra turned to face him then, the line of his mouth grim, his eyes glimmering but hard. His hands were not fidgeting but in fists at his sides, head held high, shoulders straight.

"I've come to realize that perhaps we may have jumped the gun." He began. "Barely back into each other's lives, and suddenly we're engaged to be married. Admittedly a dream of mine in my youth, however different it may have been back then, but one nonetheless."

"Angel," Crowley began, hating the flinch in Ezra when he said it. He just wished he knew why it was there. "What have I done?" He asked quietly.

Ezra looked him over. "Is there someone else?" He asked, a bit of a quiver to his voice this time.

"No!" Crowley said loudly, his body sprung into action to actually move closer to Ezra. He sensed touch wouldn't be welcomed, so he kept his distance, but only enough to stop an errant hand from reaching out until whatever was happening stopped. "Why would you… did Gabriel say something?"

Ezra's eyes narrowed. "Gabriel said not a word about you today, though I can't say I feel very good that he knows something I don't."

"He doesn't. 'S why I wondered if he said anything. Where else would you get the idea that I'm seeing someone else?"

"You've been off since last week. Late more than on time, secretive."

"It's not like that." Crowley attempted to assure. "I swear on-on-on the boys that I am not having an affair with anyone. And I certainly don't regret rushing into this, as you say. I have one regret when it comes to you, and we're both aware what that is."

Ezra held his eye a moment after Crowley stopped speaking, and then he nodded once, looking at the floor and then away to the windows.

"So what is it?" He asked.

"It's nothing," Crowley replied immediately.

"Well, nothing has changed an awful lot about us very quickly, then." Ezra retorted bitterly.

"Nothing you need to worry about." Crowley amended.

"Well if it's nothing I need to worry about, then why not share your burden with me regardless?" Ezra countered. "This may come as a shock, given the shining example you were given growing up, but that is the point of a marriage. It's not just love, it's partnership. We need to lean on one another."

"Oh, so you going to get flowers with Gabriel-" Crowley started defensively, but Ezra cut him off.

"I had told you last night that I was planning on going to the Garden on my lunch today, but evidently you weren't paying attention." He said, growing tense again. "I had hoped, of course, that you would have been in town, so we could have had lunch together ourselves, but you weren't. You went to London, so I had to ask Gabriel who happened to still be here as he recalled the date and thought maybe I might want some support."

"I bet he did." Crowley grumbled.

"Don't start, Anthony." Ezra growled, and Crowley swallowed, wishing his stupid brain would stop his stupid mouth from saying stupid things. This was exactly how they stopped speaking for ten years, and he needed to take a breath.

So he did. He turned away from Ezra and took a few deep, calming breaths before he had himself back under control.

"I'm sorry," he began, meeting Ezra's eye. "I'm sorry I've been busy, I'm sorry I forgot the date, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when I should have been."

Ezra blinked twice before he said, "I forgive you." There was a long stretch of silence that wrapped around them, holding them in place, and Crowley was loathed to figure out how to fill it and let it leave them be.

"But that doesn't change what's happening." Ezra spoke first, less guarded and less angry than he'd been the rest of the conversation. "I don't know what's going on, but you must know I will be by your side. I won't leave you if it's not what you want. Heaven knows I've spent enough of my life without you to know I would rather only have a small bit of you than none."

"I want you in my life," Crowley said as emphatically as possible, finally feeling as though he could close the distance between them, take Ezra's right hand in both of his and hold on. "I want you with me, beside me, in my home and my bed and my everything. I don't want to slow down or step back. I don't want you to leave."

"I believe you," Ezra assured. "But that doesn't change that something is keeping you from me. This relationship, our marriage, will go much more smoothly if you would just tell me what's bothering you instead of keeping it to yourself, and letting it come to blows like this."

"There's nothing you can do about it." Crowley attempted to soothe, but Ezra just shook his head.

"How do you know if you don't tell me?" He challenged.

And he was right, of course he was right. But the only outcome Crowley could see was one where Ezra walked away. Damned if he told him, damned if he didn't. He closed his eyes and swallowed, the sting of tears prickling against his lids, because this was it, wasn't it?

He took a breath and braced himself.

"James knows about us, not like I was keeping it a secret." He said, his lips twitching up momentarily. He opened his eyes but wouldn't look at Ezra. "He demanded I call off the engagement."

"Alright," Ezra said softly. "But… you've never cared what James thought."

"No, I didn't." Crowley agreed. "And I still don't. But, see… he apparently always suspected I wasn't his, but was willing to hold on to me, keep the charade, because I… I was successful and a father. I wasn't a complete embarrassment to his family name. Until I decided to marry a man." He paused, closing his eyes again. "Now he's suing for the inheritance back, except he doesn't want money - which I could, in theory- give him. He wants The Garden. He wants what the money bought me. He wants his share, which will ultimately lead to… all of it."

There was too long of silence, and something about the weight of Ezra's hand in his changed. Crowley opened his eyes and looked at his love, watching as Ezra processed what he'd said with slowly dawning horror.

"He's suing you because of me." He whispered, his voice broken and his blue eyes beginning to well.

"No, he's suing me because he's a homophobic asshole who hates that I have his name, and wants to punish me." Crowley countered.

"Say it how you like, Anthony, it doesn't change he's doing this because I asked you to spend your life with me." Ezra said as he pulled his hand from Crowley's grip, stepping back, shaking his head. "I can't-"

"Don't." Crowley took a step toward him, but Ezra flinched back.

"But how can we go through with this if it's going to cost you everything!?" Ezra demanded plaintively, the tears spilling from his eyes down his cheeks. "This is your livelihood, your passion. You worked so incredibly hard, sacrificed so much of your time - while raising Warlock on your own- to make that business your thrive. You will lose everything, Anthony, everything. I can't-"

He shook his head and looked away.

Crowley stared at him, his heart beating madly in his chest. "You said you wouldn't leave me if it wasn't what I wanted. You said that not five minutes ago." He protested.

"Because I love you more than I hate that you keep things from me." Ezra told him, facing him once more. "Because you are my best friend, and you will always be the absolute love of my life. But how can I marry you when I know it will cost you far more than I'm worth?"

"You are worth everything." Crowley said as he reached for Ezra again, snagging him before he could step away, pressing his forehead to Ezra's to keep him looking at him.

"I'm not worth this." Ezra replied, his head shifting from side to side. "I haven't given you anything wor-"

"You gave me you." Crowley interrupted. "And Adam. And a future that I thought was gone the moment I got back on the train from Oxford to London. You said when you proposed that you wouldn't wish away our time apart, because it gave us - us - Warlock. I wouldn't wish it away either, but I can't tell you how much I wish it shortened." He said, his own tears falling now. But this had to be said. He had to say it because it may be the only thing that will keep him from losing his angel all over again. "I lost you once from my own stupidity, I will not lose you again to the man who raised me. If he takes everything, so be it. I will work to the bone, do whatever I have to do to start again. We may find ourselves back in that little flat above the bookshop, but as long I am with you, I don't give a damn." He cupped Ezra's face in both hands, pulling back to look him in the eye. He was bolstered by the utter hope, love, and longing that shone back through the tears. "Do you hear me, Ezra Fell? You are worth everything to me. You, Lock, Adam, you are all I need for the rest of my life. Because I love you. I love you, and I love our sons, and he can't take that away, and I won't let him try."

Ezra shook his head. "You stupid man." He said before grabbing Crowley by the shirt and pulling him against him, kissing him hard enough that Crowley thought he saw stars for a moment.

They stayed like that for a while, apologizing and forgiving one another with every brush of their lips. Promising to do better, be more open with every gentle touch of a hand on skin or in hair.

Crowley was beginning to wonder why he hadn't said anything from the beginning, because suddenly the burden was lightened. Ezra was there, he really didn't have to do this all on his own anymore.

"We will find a way." Ezra said when they broke for air, pressing his forehead to Crowley's and making him smile like a fool. "I'm not sure, how but we will."