Chapter 26: Sidetracked

Given how expansive Lithuania was, it took some time to reach the destination they were supposed to drop their jeeps off at. The group at least got to see the luscious and green Lithuanian landscape in that time, though the closer they got to their destination the more scarred and broken the landscape had become. The undisturbed forestry and fields soon gave way to massive craters and ruined towns, former battlefields between government and insurgent forces.

"Shit… this sure ain't Switzerland," Grizzly mumbled, gazing out upon the twisted and pockmarked landscape.

"This is what we've been fighting all these years to prevent Miss Grizzly, I pray that we are not too late to help Lithuania," Welrod added, a tone of solemnity to her voice. She had seen enough devastation in her time on God's Green Earth, she would rather not see more.

At some point in the trip the jeep's radio had come alive, interrupting any conversation the other echelon may have been having with one another.

"T-This is Zy. We are nearing the midway point. A-Again we'll leave the jeeps and walk the rest of the way on foot." Zy ordered over the radio.

"As you command Miss Zy," Welrod replied, nodding to the rest of her Echelon, who in turn readied themselves to disembark.

"I was just getting comfortable," WA2000 whined as she draped her rifle's strap over her shoulder.

"Don't worry Wawa! In a few hours you'll be laying down in the mud for fuck knows how long!" Calico replied cheekily, poking the sniper in the side. Eventually the jeeps rumbled to a stop near the forest's edge. Echelon 2 quickly departed from their vehicle, followed by Echelon 3.

Now in the mission proper, the dolls of Echelon 2 seemed a bit more serious, seeing as idle banter had completely ceased. Even FMG-9 and FNC, who at the outset were in the midst of a badgering argument, were quiet, even going so far as to avoid eye contact with one another. Each girl carried a lightweight fabric backpack as part of their kit, like the design of the survival bag M200 carried on her person. MG4, being the glorified pack mule, carried a much larger backpack. As the two echelons disembarked, Z-62 could be seen on the radio as the rest of the girls secured the area.

FMG-9 and FNC scanned the sector to their immediate front, and after a short sweep, gave the thumbs up. The group then, in sync, pressed the side of their temple. It would appear as though the Zenner network was not a communication option during this mission. One by one Echelon 2 made their way into the forest, however their squad lead Z-62 waited for Echelon 3 before continuing herself. She eyed Welrod and motioned to her temple to follow the same procedure. Welrod, nodding to her team, did as ordered, cutting off their ability for non-vocal communication. The groups trekked down through the forest, initially sticking to complete silence. Of course, with Echelon 3, silence was never permanent.

"So, Miss Zy, how long has your Echelon been together?" Welrod asked, taking point as her Echelon obediently trailed behind her.

"Well… Almost a year. We've been an echelon since commander was a Rear Guard in G&K Belarus, but Echelon two existed before me, Nine and Four." Z-62 explained, "Our FNC model, Mary, has been leading Echelon Two ever since the commander started. We subbed in for the original members later, and since then we four have always been together."

Zy clicked her tongue before adding, "We work together most of the time, but other times… Shenanigans happens. It does have the side effect of… not being able to find a fifth member. I don't think I need to explain why."

"I see…" Welrod pondered on that for a moment. More than likely the reason for a fifth Doll not remaining in their company was due to the actions displayed by FMG-9 and FNC, however that wasn't anything out of the ordinary for the girls in her own echelon to do. If anything, in some ways Echelon 2 was more professional, as demonstrated by Grizzly as she broke the air.

"So Boss, you and Blair kiss and make up yet?"

Welrod scowled and shot her eyes toward the ground, her cheeks turning a beat red as she attempted to hide her embarrassment.

"This is not the time Grizzly," Welrod replied in a cold, threatening tone, which the aviator wearing Doll smartly took to heart.

"K-Kiss?" Z-62 repeated, a bit surprised this had come up all the sudden. Turning back to Welrod. the leader of Echelon 2 noticed how beat red the doll had become, "Umm… Mrs. Welrod are you alright?" Poor wording to say the least.

"I-I am not a Mrs. I-I am not m-m- m-marr-" Welrod stammered. She could feel herself getting hotter, but with enough willpower, she was able to subdue her embarrassment, "I am... n-not married to Commander Blair."

"Yet," Calico teased, poking her head from behind a strategically placed Lee Enfield.

"A-Ah s-s-sorry. Mrs- I-I-I mean M-Ms. Welrod." Z-62 replied, only now realizing her error. She bowed her head to apologize. "I won't make the mistake again."

"Eh don't mind her four-eyes," Grizzly said with a chuckle, "Boss just has a hard time expressing her feelings towards tall, blonde, and handsome. Deep down she's like this."

Grizzly swaggered up to Calico and daintily grabbed her hands, "Oh Eric! How my core SWOONS for you! Your dorkiness makes my day, even as your dense nature causes you to infuriate Anne Martin, the She-Demon of Switzerland!"

"Umm…" Z-62 looked at them, a bit surprised and a bit confused. Even the others of Echelon Two, who were just an earshot away, looked at Echelon Three as if they had just materialized in front of them. FNC used this distraction wisely, trying to sneak in a choco but FMG-9 quickly slapped her hand aside.

Welrod merely turned away, grumbling, "In all fairness he's not dorky."

"And there it is!" Calico chirped cheekily.

"Will you two SHUT UP?!"

Echelon 3 turned in unison to the girl who had called Grizzly and Calico out. Surprising to almost everyone there, WA2000 was furiously glaring at the two teasing T-Dolls.

"She's obviously not comfortable talking about it, you idiots! So, leave her alone!" The German sniper Doll continued, defending her Echelon lead from embarrassment.

"U-umm… I-I kinda agree." Z-62 piped up, "M-Maybe we should continue on without… mentioning that kind of stuff."

"Alright, Alright, geez just trying to lighten the mood. Sorry Boss," Grizzly said, truthfully feeling regretful for pushing a bit too much.

"Yea… I guess I forgot how… yea." Calico added before going silent.

WA2000 let out a curt sigh and continued treading the path in front of her. Welrod took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Miss Zy, I am truly sorry for my Echelon's abhorrent behavior. I promise we shall serve exemplarily henceforth," Welrod said, shooting a glare at Grizzly and Calico, who sheepishly avoided her gaze.

"I-It's okay. We kinda get sidetracked ourselves… just not on that level." Z-62 replied, still rather speechless.

"And I thought they were a lot more professional than Echelon two…" M200 thought aloud, a comment that would not go unchallenged.

"Ok, now hold the fucking phone. If you think 'professionalism' is all it takes to get the job done, you got a lot to learn about combat," Grizzly muttered, her sheepishness fading as her ability had been called into question.

"In all honesty, professionalism is a pointpointpointpoint of view," Lee added, causing Calico to shake her head.

"We gotta get that voice of yours fixed girly," Calico patted Lee on the shoulder, then turned to the other Echelon, "What you see as childish bullshit is what we do to stay loose. This is how we operate. It don't work for everyone, but we aren't everyone."

"N-no argument or comments there. D-don't worry about that. Right guys?" Z-62 quickly mentioned, again trying to be a mediator. FNC approached Lee with a quirked head; her "jailor" FMG-9 watched from a distance, wary of FNC's action.

"Hey, I can fix it if you want." FNC offered, looking to Lee. "Experienced that myself, I know the perfect solution for it."

"Why do I suspect- "

"Of course, I will only do so for chocolate. And no refunds." FNC bargained.

"Gun Jesus damn it Mary! You just got a bar from Auntie earlier!" FMG-9 exclaimed, her right hand pinching the bridge of her nose.

"C-Can't you do it for free?" Z-62 asked pleadingly. FNC shook her head.

"Choco or no go." FNC replied, keeping a strong stance on her bargain.

"I got a bar on me, but ONLY if you can fix Speak and Spell over here," Grizzly replied with a sigh.

"More like speak like the Devil," WA2000 mumbled, to which Calico laughed heartily.

"Hey, you told a joke!"

"Some human comedian from half a century ago made it up, not me idiot," WA2000 replied haughtily, but added, "But thanks I guess…"

"I need to see the goods first before working my magic." FNC bargained, extending her hand. Z-62 could only watch nervously as it all went down, seemingly stuck between intervening or trusting FNC. FMG-9 on the other hand felt FNC was bullshitting.

"Jeez what magic? You only know how to make chocolate disappear!" FMG-9 exclaimed, but FNC looked at FMG-9 with a glare. She was very serious.

"Trust me, I know how to fix this Nine." FNC told her fellow Doll in a strict tone, causing some pause in the SMG. She then turned back to Echelon Three. "Again, I need to see the goods first. Come on."

Grumbling, Grizzly removed a Hershey's Bar from her back pocket, one with not just chocolate, but almonds and waved it in front of FNC's face.

"As you can see: No tricks. Now, fix Speak and Spell if you please," Grizzly said.

Upon seeing that sweet ambrosia, FNC's mouth was watering, however, she quickly shook off her choco lust and cleared her throat. The girl approached Lee and looked towards her neck region, even going as far as to reach out and squeeze it.

"Erk!" Lee choked out as the FNC squeezed her neck, causing a snickering fit from the peanut gallery watching this unfold.

"This is usually where the Voicebox is. Really fragile spot, one bad hit and your voice is gone for a good long time." FNC mentioned, before pulling back her hand. She removed her gloves and looked to Lee. "Do you mind kneeling down? I really don't suggest standing with what I'm about to do. I also recommend that everyone stand back."

Preceded by even more snickering, Lee knelt before FNC, scowling at Grizzly who was trying to keep herself composed. Words whispered into her ear by Calico broke said composure as Grizzly let out a roar of laughter.

"A-Ah dear… This must not be great..." Z-62 commented, noting the laughter from Calico and Grizzly. MG4 chose only to watch the proceedings in silence, while M200 shifted side to side, seeming a bit worried that they were stalled in the open like this.

"Justjustjust get it over withwithwithwith," Lee muttered, her fists tightly clenched.

"Alright." FNC said, looking Lee in the eye. "Now relax alright, and no hard feelings okay?" FNC mentioned, causing FMG-9 to raise an eyebrow.

"Mary what are you-" Too late. FNC went for a quick and strong jab on Lee's throat.

"Ack!" Lee gasped as FNC throat punched her. She fell to the ground, gasping for air and looked to the Belgian Doll in fury. As soon as the situation had processed, the whole of Echelon Two seemed to have much mixed reactions. Even the less expressful MG4 seemed a bit surprised, though nothing was as clear as FMG-9 who looked onto FNC with a fury like Lee's.

"...EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT THE FUCK MARY." FMG-9 quickly shouted.

"YOU BLOODY… BELLEND! WHAT… IN THE NAME OF THE QUEEN… IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU BINT?!" Lee yelled, her voice box now fixed, but letting out a stream of extremely unladylike language, especially for someone of her stature.

Grizzly had fallen to her knees, her chest now pained from the laughter she was undergoing. Calico too was beside herself, trying to keep from falling to the ground beside her wingman. Welrod simply sighed and removed her hands from WA2000's ears, her quick thinking "saving" the sniper Doll's "childlike innocence."

"See, voicebox is fixed. Now my chocolate please-" Mary said, looking to Grizzly, but FMG-9 grabbed her shoulder.

"No, you're not getting your chocolate! Mary what the fuck?!"

"Hey! I got that fair and square Nine!"

"YOU PUNCHED SOMEONE."

"IT'S A VALID TECHNIQUE IN FIXING VOICE BOXES."

While the two dolls of Echelon two bickered, their leader seemed to be having a meltdown of her own. She collapsed in distress, falling to her knees, and placing a hand on her head, feeling a bit dizzy. MG4 had noticed and, for once, ran over to help.

"A-Ah… Zy are you alright…?" MG4 asked.

"This might just be a bad dream… Yeah just a bad dream… Or a simulation gone wrong…" Z-62 mumbled to herself. MG4 sighed, seeing that the SMG doll was a bit too shocked with what had unfolded.

"Oh dear," Welrod said with a sigh, walking over to and kneeling next to Z-62, "Miss Zy, everything is alright. Miss Lee has taken worse punishment I assure you."

"Just a bad dream… yeah… yeah…" Z-62 continued, trying to talk herself out of this mess. MG4 sighed again and looked to Welrod.

"She's...going to need a moment to snap out of this…" MG4 advised, looking to FNC and FMG-9 who were nearly coming to blows. "...We… Probably should take a break… And maybe let everyone catch their breath…"

"Agreed," Welrod replied, watching as Grizzly shakily held the chocolate bar out in front of her.

"Y-Y-You… ahahahahaha… Y-You earned this kid!" Grizzly said between laughs, motioning for FNC to take the chocolate bar.

"SEE?! My Choco now-"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" FMG-9 exclaimed as she tackled FNC, wrestling with the Belgian doll again. This action finally put poor Z-62 out of her misery, her mind map completely flatlining as she "blacked out."

While everything swirled down the drain before the operation even started, M200 just stood and watched confusingly as two 'elite' echelons were now either arguing amongst one another or laughing to no end. WA2000 waltzed over to M200 and sidled up next to her with her hands behind her back. The girl was silent for a moment before letting out an audible sigh.

"They're a bunch of idiots, aren't they?" WA2000 said matter of factly.

"... I… I guess…?" M200 replied, looking on the carnage with confusion. "... Elite Echelons they said… I feel lied to now… This ain't it..."

"...you'll see what happens when we get in a firefight," WA2000 turned to the long-legged sniper and smirked, "I bet you I'll make a fool of you out there today. Just you wait."

M200 looked to WA2000, then looked at her rifle, she then looked at her own rifle, then back to WA2000. She kept quiet for a moment, wanting to say a few things, eventually finding the right words.

"You're… on." M200 replied, taking WA2000's words as a bet. "If it comes...to it… that is…" M200 mentioned, looking back at the situation stalling them from the mission objective. It was going to be a long day.