Warning: language in this one
Bella was on her couch sitting up. She had a blanket over her, and Edward was sitting by her trying to figure out how to keep her warm. Alice was sitting on the other side of her couch and their feet were touching. Charlie was in the recliner, and he was watching Bella like a hawk. Esme was in the kitchen cooking something for Bella to eat. It smelled like Italian wedding soup, and I hoped Bella ate a little bit of it, because that would really make her feel better.
I looked around for Rose, Jasper, and Emmett, but I could not see them.
"There watching the perimeter," said Edward so low Charlie could not even tell he talked, but I could hear him clearly. "They don't know how to help."
"They're being helpful," I whispered back.
"Hey babe," I said aloud and tickled Bella's feet. She slid it back and smiled. "Heard your feeling under the weather."
"Yeah," she sighed, and snuggled up towards Edward.
"What's going on? When we talked Monday you were laughing and joking around."
"I stopped taking my medicine," she said.
"Bells, you can't do that. You are on just enough where your body will miss it, and it's not letting your body adjust to it, so you go right back to feeling bad."
"But it was changing me already," she said. "I can feel it."
My phone buzzed and it was Seth, and I put it to voicemail.
"Honey, what is wrong if the medicine changes you?" I asked.
"Then I don't want to be with Edward anymore," she said.
"It's a miracle drug," said Charlie, from where he was sitting. He was trying to give us some space, but you could tell he was concerned.
Edward chuckled.
"So you mean that when you take the pill, you don't feel it's necessary to be a Cullen anymore."
She shook her head.
"Okay, what do you want to be?"
"I don't know. Anything I guess."
"Bella, if you're not a Cullen, then you get to find out who Bella is. You can go to school and fall in love with English, or you can go to your mom's and take a year off and travel. The possibilities are endless."
"But I won't be beautiful and perfect and scary."
"Scary?" asked Edward. "Bella, why do you want to be scary?"
"All my life I have been powerless. I can't stop my mom from getting into danger, I can't stop my dad from being shot at, I can't stop Jacob and Edward from fighting. If I was one of you, I could scare people. I want to be a monster."
"Bella," said Edward, "you don't know what you're saying. To want to be my kind because we can kill is like wanting to be a serial killer or something. This isn't you."
"I think we need to acknowledge that Bella does feel this way Edward, because to dismiss it would be to belittle her," I said. "But," I knelt down by the couch and grabbed Bella's hand. "I don't think she wants to be a killer. She is not talking about killing innocent people. I am hearing that Bella feels maybe trapped, and powerless as a human. It's hard living in a world filled with monsters and you think and are told that you have to be the victim all the time. I think Bella just wants to feel important and powerful in her own right."
"Yeah," breathed Bella.
"Maybe if we got you to learn a little bit more about the" I dropped my voice so Charlie wouldn't hear, "'werewolves and vampires, and we taught you the humans' role in all of this."
Bella sighed. "Yeah."
"But you can't force our hand. You can't stop taking your medicine. If the medicine makes you feel like you don't want to be a Cullen anymore we can tweak it, but you cant just stop, you'll swan dive."
"Okay," she said.
"How much were you taking when you stopped?"
"Twenty."
"Okay that is a starting dose so I want you just to start taking that again."
"Okay."
"How do you feel right now? What do you want to do?"
"Sleep."
"Okay, let Edward carry you upstairs, and Charlie will be up there in a minute."
Edward scooped her up with no problem at all, and began carrying her up the stairs. Turning to Charlie, I said, "If she takes her pills and they get back into her system there should be no problem." I wrote down Emily's home number on a slip of paper. "Moved out of the Cullen's house. Nothing bad, just a long story. This is where I am staying. If she gets worse or refuses to take her meds call me. Hospitalization might be our only option at that point."
"Am I gonna lose my daughter?" he asked huskily.
"God no," I said. I thought about the pack. "No one is loosing anybody. That is why I'm here." I sighed. "I'll come check on her tomorrow." Hopefully I'll have this werewolf thing handled. Yeah, I'm gonna have turning into a dog when I'm angry and the whole shit with my parents handled in twenty-four hours, I thought sourly.
"Okay thank you," he said.
I went outside and all of the Cullens and the entire pack with the Council members were out there, except Edward.
"How's Bella?" asked Jacob.
"She stopped taking her fucking medicine, because she wants to die," I spat. "And because I was completely out of it for three days, I didn't catch it."
"That's not your fault," said Carlisle.
"No its not," I said. "But it's not fair. I can't watch twenty people and make sure they're all on their meds and they're all in a group and they're all processing shit, if I am having black outs for three days!"
"Maybe you shouldn't be doing therapy right now," suggested Sue.
"Yeah that is a great idea," I said, "except that Paul is gonna get expelled and Bella gonna commit suicide and Leah is going to just straight up run away."
"None of that is gonna happen," said Seth.
"We can run group by ourselves," said Jasper. "I can facilitate, cause you know empath."
"Yeah," said Emmett, "We can work together for a few days to give you a break while you learn this. It won't be hard."
"Emmett, I'm gonna need a few weeks."
"That's okay. I think."
"Just take care of yourself," said Alice.
Edward came from around the corner. "She's asleep. She's taken her meds, showered, and eaten. I don't think there is much else we can do for her tonight. I am gonna stay with her, but if you need to go home..."
"Call me the moment she's awake. I need to assess her again and make sure that we can talk on Monday or if we need to talk sooner."
"Sisi, you need to rest,'' said Alice.
"I can manage," I said.
"Alright," Edward said.
I turned to the Cullens. "Seriously, text if you need me. I can move things around."
They nodded.
I turned to the pack. "Okay let's go," I said.
"We're running home?" asked Quil.
"Did you bring your car?"
"No," he said.
"Then lets go."
We got to the edge of the forrest, and phased. It was easier this time, and it didn't hurt. We started running, and I let Sam lead the way home for a while, and then I caught up with him and ran ahead of him.
"Serena, where are you going?" asked Sam.
"Come on," I said.
"Home's that way," protested Paul.
I ignored him. I led them to a small stream with a bunch of big rocks that jutted out that were big enough for us to all sit on.
"Pick a rock and make yourself comfortable," I said.
"What are we doing?" asked Sam.
"Having therapy."