For a solid hour and a half, Satine Kryze listened to her friend's solemn story. Every so often, she would interject in order to ask a clarifying question, or to comment on the absurdity of this man Kilian.
"So, now you can see," Obi-Wan finished, his voice a bit hoarse from talking for so long, "why I've received such looks from my fellow Jedi back at the temple, and why I came to the senate, of all places, in search of peace."
She nodded. "Yes, I see."
"And, as much as I truly appreciate your willingness to listen, I…"—here, he swallowed, and Satine found herself anticipating his next words—"I understand if you choose not to speak to me again."
Though he'd said exactly what she had expected, the implications of his words still startled her.
Does he truly think my love is so fragile?
"And why would I ever wish to do that?"
"Satine, you heard the story. Everything I told you was true, neither exaggerated nor toned down," he persisted. "How can you still look at me like I'm…"
Like you're the world? Because you still are.
You are.
"Like you're still a civilized human being?" She said instead, choosing to keep her private thoughts just that: private. "It's quite easy."
"Even after all I told you?"
"Especially after all you told me. Obi," she began thoughtfully, "it takes a special kind of character to withstand such pressures as you did. To be able to stand firm in your beliefs under such brutality is an ability granted to very few in this galaxy."
"I'm afraid you don't understand: I nearly killed a man!"
"No!" She stopped, wrenching her hand away from his arm. "I'm afraid you don't understand. There are several kinds of beings in this galaxy, two of which were forced together by some sort of cruel fate on Jakku. One was a madman hell-bent on ruining the lives of others merely because it fed his soul with a sick sense of satisfaction. The other was a kind, generous heart, who cared enough about others to go out of his way to help a man in need. You know how the story ends, true, but I don't think you realize that there was only one end to the story. Though you might have tried, I don't believe you could have ever killed that monster. Why? Because of who you are as a person. Your internal moral compass, not your Jedi Code, prevented you from murder that day, and every other day you have held breath in your lungs.
"So, yes, I can still look at you the same as I always have because you haven't changed. It's not the trials we face that change us as people, it's the way we handle them, the way we stand firmly by what we believe in that changes us, for better or for worse. And you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are only capable of changing for the better."
Thoroughly winded, Satine brushed that irritating lock of hair back into place.
Obi-Wan, for his part, appeared to be stunned, more so than she had ever seen him before.
"You…" He took a step closer to her. Closer… If only he'd come closer still… "Do you truly believe that?"
Were those the beginnings of tears she saw glaze his crystal blue eyes?
If he wasn't going to fill the gap between them, she would have to be the one to take action. Stepping closer, closer, until their noses were almost touching, Satine gazed into his watering eyes.
"With all my heart."
She noticed her breaths were coming in quicker now and she found it nearly impossible to break away from his captivating stare.
Don't lose control of yourself! You are not a schoolgirl! You are Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore. Act like it!
A warm, strong hand closed around hers, drawing it upward. Then, a gentle kiss graced her knuckles.
"Thank you." Choked up by a rare show emotion she hadn't witnessed since he had called to inform her of Qui-Gon Jinn's death—bless the man—Obi-Wan's voice barely reached a whisper. "Thank you, Satine…"
Finding she couldn't bring her own voice higher than a whisper, she leaned closer, saying, "Anything to make you remember."
"... Remember…?"
"Remember the man I fell in love with."
His lips were on hers before she knew what was happening, though she couldn't honestly say she hadn't seen it coming. Some distant part of her buzzing mind registered the feeling of his other hand softly caressing the back of her shoulder.
Who initiated the kiss would forever remain a mystery, however, Satine prefers to believe they both leaned in at the same time. After all, it makes the most sense in the end.
Whatever the case, a full minute flew by before either of the two lovers remembered they were standing on an unscreened balcony in the most public place on Coruscant.
A small protest died on her tongue as he pulled away, and for a moment, neither knew just what to say.
Nothing. You don't have to say anything, just let your actions speak. Who was it that first said actions speak louder than words?
Clearing her throat, she held out a limp hand, willing him with her shining eyes to take the hint.
He did, like the smart man she knew him to be—that intelligence she relied on, that she loved.
Arm in arm, she allowed her Jedi Knight in Shining Armor to lead her back into the senate foyer.
"I can't help but think, sometimes…" Obi-Wan began suddenly, and she realized there was more anguish festering in his mind.
And rightly so. One can't just step away from such an event unscathed.
But he will recover. Yes, I know he will recover.
I believe in you, Obi-Wan. Won't you please believe in yourself for once?
"Yes?" she prompted when he didn't continue.
"I can't help but wonder what Master Qui-Gon would think about… all I told you."
"Hmm…" Yes, of course he would wonder such things.
And rightly so…
"Are you asking my opinion? Or do you have one of your own you'd like to share? Because," she pressed on even as he opened his mouth to reply, "I believe, if he were here now, right in front of you, you would be hearing a repeat of what I just told you out on the balcony."
"What makes you so certain?"
"You're forgetting that I knew Master Jinn, too. The real question is: what makes you so uncertain?"
Obi-Wan hesitated, clearly struck to the core by her words for the second time that afternoon. "So, you don't think… You think, after everything, he would still be…"
"Proud of you?" Really, he was becoming too predictable. At least, to her, who knew him so well. "I'm afraid you are in danger of making him more proud of you now than ever before. And were you to ask me if I truly believe that, my answer would remain the same: with all my heart."
She nearly melted under his smile, it was so warm, so familiar. It was home. But, to melt would mean to lose control of herself, and she had already done that once today.
She would not be doing it again.
"Well, then, only one question remains: where to, Duchess?" He inquired after a moment, ever the gallant.
"I have one final session this evening," she explained, still battling a hot flush and a rapidly beating heart. "So, if you wouldn't mind escorting me to the lounge, I would be eternally grateful, Master Kenobi."
"Eternal gratitude," he mused absently. "Yes… and you, Satine Kryze, now have mine."
Her reply was another whispered confession, but it was one she couldn't bear to withhold. "And you've always had mine, Obi-Wan Kenobi."
I won't get emotional. I won't get emotional. I won't get emotional.
Anakin repeated the mantra in his mind as he paced the quarters he once shared with Obi-Wan back when he was a Padawan. To this day, he still shares the room with his old Master sometimes, especially when their sabacc tournaments run late and Obi-Wan insists that he and Ahsoka stay the night.
I won't get emotional. I won't—How does that stupid code go again? There is no emotion, there is… Nope, I literally have no idea.
"Master, I'm sure he'll be back any minute—"
"It's been over four hours, Snips! Where the heck is he?"
"I'm sure if we just wait here calmly, he'll show up any minute."
Stang! Why is my Padawan so much wiser than me? She's a regular Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan…
No matter what happened when his Master inevitably walked through that front door, he would not get emotional.
This wasn't about him, it was about Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan would need him more than ever when he returned.
He would not be selfish.
There is no emotion, there is… there is…?
Stang! What is there?
"How does the rest of the Jedi Code go?"
Ahsoka seemed momentarily caught off-guard by the question. "You don't know the Jedi Code?"
"No, I know it, I just can't remember the ending right now? Come on, 'There is no emotion, there is…'?" He swirled his hand around in impatient expectation.
"Master… That's the beginning."
Stang!
"You know, nevermind. It's fine."
"Are… you all right, Master?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Anakin resumed his pacing. Obi-Wan better show up before he finds himself with no carpet left. "Would you do me a favor, though?"
"Sure."
"Recite the Jedi Code to me? You obviously know it better than I do."
"Well, I'm a very purposeful student, Skyguy," she remarked with a smirk.
"Just say it, Snips."
With an air of importance, Ahsoka cleared her throat. "There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance,"—Why is she looking at me like that? Knock it off, Snips!—"there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is—"
Death…
Anakin balled his hand into a fist, slamming it onto the nearest wall. "He can't do this to me! Why does he keep doing this to me?"
"Master, we have to remain calm," Ahsoka reminded, though her voice betrayed her own emotion. "Remember what Master Windu said?"
"Master Windu is an emotionless, stuck-up—"
Ahsoka's tone was the perfect imitation of Obi-Wan's watch-it-Anakin voice. "Skyguy…"
Anakin didn't know how she did it.
"I'm trying, Snips, I'm trying! I know there's no emotion, but how do they expect me to just shove it all down and pretend like everything's okay when it's not, huh? What does the Code say about that?"
"We're not here to debate Jedi politics, Master. We're here for Obi-Wan. And the Council doesn't expect you to shove away your emotions. They know you, Master. Obi-Wan knows you. I think they just want you to show a little more… self-control."
"I am!"
She raised a skeptical eyebrow.
Anakin heaved a sigh. "Fine. Fine. I'm not, I know I'm not. I just need to calm down. Why don't you say the Code again."
"You really think that'll help?"
"No, you're right. It just makes me mad for some reason."
"Maybe because I know it all and you don't even have the first line memorized?"
A grin made its way across his face despite himself. "Very funny. But yeah, that's probably one of the reasons."
I won't get emotional. I won't get emotional. I won't—
The front door slid open with a faint swoosh.
And there stood Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan!
For a tense moment, no one moved. Anakin felt Ahsoka fade into the background, dimming her Force presence. Though whether that was because she wanted to give him and Obi-Wan space, or out of fear they would have another shouting match, Anakin had no idea.
Kriff the Code, he found himself thinking, it's all a bunch of high and mighty nonsense made up by stuffy council members who don't want their pupils going around showing public displays of affection. Well, guess what Master Windu, I don't care!
I don't care…
His arms were around Obi-Wan in seconds, and he felt his mentor's body go rigid.
"I'm sorry, Master," he whispered, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm so sorry! I've been so selfish!" When he felt drizzles of water on his cheeks, he buried his face deeper into Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I've only been thinking about myself through this whole thing and how…" He choked on a sob. "... How I don't want to lose you again. I… I can't lose you again, Obi-Wan. I can't…"
You idiot! You promised yourself you wouldn't get emotional!
Did I though? Did I really?
If he had, he didn't care. He simply tightened his grip around his friend.
His brother.
"Oh, Anakin…" Obi-Wan finally returned the embrace, running a soothing hand over Anakin's hair. "Oh, Anakin…"
And that was all he said for the next minute or so, almost as if…
… As if he's speechless.
Almost as if he was battling his own emotions in the same way Anakin was.
Well, probably not exactly the same. He couldn't picture Obi-Wan yelling at Ahsoka because he didn't know the words to the Jedi Code.
When Anakin felt the small form of his Padawan press up against his side, her arms encircling them both, he didn't doubt Obi-Wan had motioned her over.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said at last, his voice barely more than a whisper, "it is I who should be apologizing to you."
What? Alarm coursed through him, buzzing about his brain and shooting spike through his soul.
"No, Master—"
"I've been the selfish one," Obi-Wan continued forcefully. "You were only trying to help me, and in my selfishness, I pushed you both away, and I'm so sorry. Will either of you… forgive me?"
Making good use of their bond, Anakin flooded his Master with waves of love and forgiveness.
And he could feel Ahsoka doing the same to him.
It was all a bit overwhelming if he was being honest.
"Just let me help you," Anakin whispered. "Like I told you before, all you have to do is ask, and I'm there. I'll always be there, Master. Always."
"Thank you, Anakin." Obi-Wan's whisper was so low, Anakin had to strain to hear. "Thank you."
No one said much after that, but at that moment, Anakin felt more loved than all his years as a Jedi. And he hoped his Master felt the same.
For the first time in over two weeks, Anakin felt as though maybe, just maybe, everything might turn out all right in the end.
And if it didn't…
Well, at least they had each other.
And that had always been more than enough.
