Chapter twenty-three: The in-between.
"So, here's to the future, because I am just about done with the past."
Over the next few months, we pushed further from the farm and became a well-oiled machine; the dispute over group leadership had been dissolved and it was clear that we were alive because of Rick's decision making. Over the months, Lori's belly had swollen with pregnancy and now more than ever we needed somewhere safe to get a good night's sleep.
Waking up early, I pulled Jonah's jacket on and grabbed my knife, ready to head out to scout ahead.
"What're you doin'?" Glancing over my shoulder, I spotted Daryl coming from the other side of camp, crossbow on his shoulder as he zipped up his fly.
"Scoutin' ahead, wanna come along? You might find some breakfast." I offered and he nodded, as always. These days it was the two of us hunting and doing more risky runs that kept everyone fed; Glenn and Maggie tried to help us as best they could, but they preferred to stay right by the group. "Wanna try and find somewhere to sleep tonight that ain't just that backseat of abandoned cars." We walked through the woods in silence until I stopped; grinning from ear to ear and I slapped Daryl's back. "Over there, storage units might be perfect." He stood still and looked where I pointed before nodding.
"Let's check it out." Together, we carefully picked our way down the embankment and onto the tarmac; stepping softly, we flushed out any hiding Walkers and broke open a few of the storage units, finding them mostly empty. "Alright, good find Peanut." I frowned as he headed back to the trees.
"Why're you suddenly callin' me Peanut?" I asked and he simply shook his head.
"Come on."
It turned out that the others were very grateful for the find, but that we were now fixing for food and water instead of shelter.
"I gotta pee." I muttered before leaving the others to try and find somewhere secluded to pee in peace.
"I'll come too, watch your back." Maggie called as she jogged to catch up with me, Beth, Lori and Andrea joining us. "There's safety in numbers Ellie."
"Yeah I know." I shoved against her gently as we entered the washroom of the yard; Andrea stayed outside with the others as Maggie and I secured the room, kicking open the stalls and making sure to lay down seat protectors. "It's clear." I called and I lowered my gun. "Just don't flush and number 2's at the end please." Beth giggled as we all went about our business.
"So, Peanut," Maggie met my eye with a mischievous smirk, "you and Daryl seem close." I heard Lori laugh from one of the stalls and felt my face turn red. "You know you go on so many runs together, folks are wonderin' what y'all are really doin'?" My face heated further as the others became done and we sanitised our hands, lamenting the loss of running water.
"Nothin' happens on runs but huntin' and scavengin'." I replied shortly.
"That sounds like you're denying." Lori muttered as we left the room and started back to the others, T-Dog watching our backs from camp. "There's no shame in it."
"Nothin's goin' on." I repeated and the women laughed again, my cheeks were so pink even the men could tell we had been talking about something embarrassing.
"You ladies watch camp, we gotta piss too." Daryl ground and Maggie nodded, the second the men were gone though, she burst out laughing.
"Stop that," Carol ordered, getting Sophia comfortable in their unit, "we don't need any undead visitors."
"Sorry, just teasin'." Maggie replied, cowed by Carol's wrath. Recently, Carol hadn't been pissing me off as bad as usual; in fact she was becoming kinda productive. I found my face heating again as the men returned to camp, Maggie sniggered every time she passed by me.
"Yo, gonna go and search the front office." I called.
"You take a group, Glenn, Maggie and Daryl at the least." I nearly grimaced at the mention of Maggie and Daryl on the same run, but nodded nonetheless. "You get an hour, any longer and I'll send people lookin'." With another nod, we grabbed out backpacks and weapons to find supplies.
In most of the rooms we only found novelty items that weren't really any use, like key rings and postcards. We split into pairs to search the office, creeping about like criminals with our flashlights raised and knives in hand, reluctant to use any precious bullets; every step of the way, I made sure Daryl was within arm's reach, fingers brushing his shirt. After a struggling, we managed to clear a few blockages and fallen cabinets, opening the drawers and rifling through them. A strip of gold squares caught my eyes and I picked them up, holding them under my flashlight before giggling and covering my mouth to stifle the sound.
"What's so funny?" I shook my head and put the strip back.
"Nothin', don't worry about it." I replied and once we'd found everything we needed, we met back up with Glenn and Maggie.
"Hey," turning my head, I saw Daryl holding the strip of condoms, "forgettin' somethin'?" My face flushed as Maggie nudged me and I groaned.
"Oh come on, why're you guys bullyin' me today?" He frowned.
"I meant for them two." That stopped Maggie's laughter.
"You seem back to your normal self." Rick noticed as we took watch together that night and I glanced at him.
"Define normal self."
"You're happy again; seem to be seein' the silver lining again." With a shrug, I raised our flashlight as movement caught my eye. The beam of white light fell across T-Dog, who smiled apologetically.
"Have to pee." I nodded and then let him go.
"Shout if you get into trouble." Rick called and we lapsed back into silence. "Lori she…she's angry at me for killin' Shane…but I didn't have a choice, it was him or me."
"You did the right thing Rick." I reassured, rubbing his arm comfortingly. "I guess she just forgot to remember how close you were with Shane before this…I tried to get him to go after Andrea and to talk things out with you…clearly that plan went in the shitter." He nodded as T-Dog came back and settled again.
"You and Daryl, is there somethin' goin' on?" I sighed and rubbed my face, looking at Rick's watch made me feel worse since we still an hour left of our shift.
"I don't know."
"He seems closer to you than anyone else." I shrugged and looked over my shoulder to make sure no one was listening. "You got somethin' on your mind?"
"You know, even surrounded by every member of this group, my eyes always find his, just to find that he was already lookin' at me; it's like we got our own language Rick, no one else could possibly understand the way I feel…probably because I don't even understand that shit. All I know is that…when he comes back, when Daryl's near, it's like all of my worries and fears melt away for a time because he's there and that's all I need to feel safer." Rick nodded silently and looked out over the parking lot. "I don't know, maybe this is a one sided thing." We stayed silent until the end of our shift when Andrea and Glenn took over. Before parting from me, Rick grasped both of my shoulders.
"Be careful."