"So, we're about to go lookin' for the Family Jewel," Zane sipped from a bottle of whiskey he found in the lodge. Sure, it was warm, but booze was booze, as far as he was concerned. "and no one else finds that name funny as fuck."

"Maybe it's because we're all mature enough not to, old man." Moze grunted, settling herself in the back of the technical. "Everyone but you, apparently."

"No shame in findin' shite funny when yar old, Mozzy Moze." Another sip. "By the way, may wanna hop out the car. We ain' leavin' yet."

"Hmm? I thought Wainwright gave us a location." Amara asked, leaning against the side of the bandit vehicle. "Usually, that means we go for it. And get it done with the usual finesse we always do."

"True, but guess who doesn't know where it is, for once?" Zane asked. "The fuckin' COV. For once, we can take this one at our own pace, 'cause they ain' got no leads on where to look."

"He makes a valid point." FL4K was currently feeding their Spiderant with a…severed hand they somehow found. "The Children of the Vault will inevitably locate the Family Jewel and head towards it, but they will die. Miserably."

"…how do you know that?" Moze questioned incredulously.

"It's nearby the Voracious Canopy," They cut a finger off and gingerly fed it to their beast. "an area rich in dangerous predators and hyper-aggressive fauna, like the many therapods I wish to tame and domesticate. The cultists will be a meal for them, and their gods will abandon them."

"Beasts you haven't tamed or hunted?" Amara chuckled. "That's impressive. They must be quite dangerous, then."

"I never said I haven't hunted them," The murderous robot corrected. "Just haven't tamed. It's hard to; they're intelligent, yes, but they're not as intelligent as Mr. Chew, Broodless, and Meat-Thief. All three have a history of being domesticated, both on Pandora and on Eden-6. In fact, jabbers tend to be treated not as beasts in some areas, but…well more or less as patrons for bars."

"…they serve monkeys booze?" Zane deadpanned. "Like…why the fuck would they waste perfectly good booze like that?"

"Many people on Eden-6 are capable of making moonshine, Zane, and therefore can afford to give it away to the native fauna for amusement. I'm…quite surprised you never knew that, given your penchant for drinking."

"Yeeesh, ya answered yar own question. I ain' a fan of moonshine." He took another swig from his drink, being fully aware of Moze's confused look. "What? I don' like moonshine."

"Bullshit. You'll drink anything!"

"Not everythin'. Moonshine ain' somethin' I take straight from the tap. Mostly 'cause of bad memories." He shrugged.

"And what memories are those?" Amara questioned.

"Back when me brothers and I weren' tryin' to kill one another, Captain offered me some moonshine he 'personally made'. Found out after drinkin' it he brewed the shite in a fuckin' toilet." Zane grimaced. "Explained that aftertaste."

Moze covered her mouth with her arm. Zane knew she was snickering but trying her best not to show it. Amara wasn't; she was openly snickering. "Silver linin', it wasn' a used toilet...not recently. Still, dunno where these fuckers make their moonshine. For all I know, that's probably normal 'round here."

"It is." FL4K added. "Moonshine is typically made wherever the user can store a sizable amount of liquid…often, it's in old outhouses."

"You sure know a lot about toilet liquor and dangerous beasts, FL4K," Amara mused. "Then again, you did come here at one time, right?"

They nodded. "That I did. Was a lot different back when I came to hunt. More beasts running around, but less humans to serve as bait. It was around that time I, of course, found and accepted Meat-Thief into the pack."

"Yeah, how the fuck did that happen, anyhow?" Zane was only slightly interested in changing the topic; he really wanted to get the topic away from him drinking toilet moonshine when he was younger.

"It's not a lengthy tale. I heard rumors of a jabber using a firearm, went to investigate, and found him…standing on a pile of other jabbers. I later learned he killed them, for they were rival males. I offered him some food and, eagerly, he came to me, and I welcomed him. Ever since then, he's been an invaluable help, and displays intelligence I didn't expect in his kin." FL4K pat the jabber on the head as said monkey messily ate the remains of the severed hand. "Most jabbers, if given a pistol, will probably use it as a toothpick and shoot their jaw off. But Meat-Thief, apparently, recognized what it could do and used it as he saw fit. And, now, he's progressed into using a shotgun. At the rate he's at, I could one day give him a sniper rifle and teach him how to hunt as well."

"Please don't." Moze frowned. "A monkey with a sniper rifle sounds like a horror movie."

"It is a horror movie." Zane corrected.

"…bullshit."

"It is! I got it on me shelf back on the ship, right next to me Skagnado collection."

"The fuck is—"

"Buncha skags in a tornado. Fuck it, when we're done here, we're havin' movie night." Zane finished his drink and tossed it over his shoulder. "But for now, we should get a move on 'fore I get desperate enough for a drink to try the moonshine here…"

"…FL4K, if I pay you to make him drink some toilet moonshine…" Moze asked the robot.

"Ya do that, Mozzy Moze, and I'll download sixteen terabytes of pornography into yer mech."

Why did he have that much porn? For good reason.

(Lil' short, non-canon chapter 'cause I don't feel like cranking out a big one today, while at the same time, I wanted to provide something. So, here's some insight on two characters and mild bits of backstory behind them. Of course, it's not canon…don't think moonshine can even be made in toilets.

Least I hope it can't.

Anyhow, reviews. Let's get to them.

-I'm glad my story's eased the pain of Borderlands 3's plot-line. It had SOME moments that were good, but largely, they missed many chances that I'm gonna try to take. They could easily salvage and redeem Ava in some of the DLCs, but I'm not really sure how. Her like ratio seems to be in the negatives. But anything's possible with the right writers.

-Zer0 is still with Rhys on Promethea. While yes, he could join the crew, he's still working for his friend, though I could have him vanish from time to time to help out. We'll see.

-Once I finish with this, I plan to move to other projects I had on the burner. I also plan to be uploading over on 's sister site, FictionPress, so if you're interested in reading some of the stuff over there, I can drop a link down below once I finish answering reviews. I will be touching on the DLCs for BL3, also, but they'll be separate stories.

Thanks for the continued support, and please support me over on FictionPress if you want. Anything helps, and I plan on making that account as popular as this one is, or at least I'll do what I can to. Until then, link's here: u/1140754/

Stay safe!)