CHAPTER 25

When it got to be dark, the group rode out to the graveyard. Skylar sat in between Ian and Lesley as they drove the wagon with Hayes in the back, while Jamie and Claire followed them on horses.

They stopped a bit down the road from the church to keep out of sight.

"Lesley, stay here with Claire and Skylar. Watch over Hayes," Jamie instructed as he got off the horse. "Ian and I will find a good place."

"Won't you need a headstone?" Claire asked. "Surely they'll notice a newly dug grave."

"Aye, they might. I shouldna think the minister would trouble himself to dig him up fer nothin'."

Jamie grabbed one of the shovels and started off. Ian jumped down from his seat and took the other one.

He turned back to Skylar before he left and said, "Ye'll stay by the wagon, aye? Please dinna leave this spot. It's dark and dangerous and we dinna ken who-"

"I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to worry about me."

"I dinna think that's possible." She gave him a small smile and he left to follow Jamie.

She watched him go until both of the men faded into the blackness. She let out a sigh and got down. She stood next to Claire, leaning against the wagon.

"He says he's the one worried about me. Funny."

"Has he told you anything more about what happened in Jamaica?" Claire asked.

She shook her head. "He won't say anything and it's killing me. There have been stretches where it doesn't happen, but when we were first in Georgia and making our way up here, he would wake up all the time from terrible nightmares. And seeing him in such fear it…it rips my heart out. I know Geillis did something to him, I don't know if she tortured him or…I don't know. I just wish he would tell me. I want to help him. I can't handle seeing him in pain."

"Jamie once told me that he could bear pain himself, but he couldn't bear mine. And then when he was the one suffering horribly after surviving something truly horrific, I understood what he meant. When all I could do was watch my husband practically deteriorate in front of me, it nearly killed me. But, he finally opened up to me about what he went through and I was able to help him start to heal."

"How long did it take before he told you?"
"Too long. He apparently thought that if I knew the truth, I wouldn't want him anymore. He was too scared of the risk of losing my love."

"Ian wouldn't think that. No, he knows there's nothing he could ever do that would make me not love him."

"I thought Jamie felt that way too. But it was very hard to convince him of that."

"Men would rather chop their cock off with a dull blade and feed it te the chickens rather than say when they're hurtin' te anyone, let alone the woman they love," Lesley spoke up. "Ye can take it from me and personal experience."

"But talking about what's causing you to be so upset would help, and no one would think worse of you, especially if it's the person you love," Skylar debated.

"I dinna ken what kind of men ye have where yer from, lass; if the American men here really are more open te that sort'a thing. But fer Scot men, Young Ian included, it's all a matter of pride and not willin' te show anythin' that might be taken fer weakness."

"The men back home aren't really different from the ones here when it comes to talking about their feelings," she mumbled. Claire chuckled, knowing that statement to be very true.

Guess no matter the century, boys will be boys and prefer to suffer internally, Skylar thought.

After about 45 minutes, Skylar's eyes were starting to close as she leaned against the wagon. After the absurd sleep schedule she had while on the Artemis, or lack thereof, she had been training herself to go to bed at a certain time every night for the few weeks they'd been in Wilmington to try to get back into somewhat of a normal sleeping routine; and right now it was well past her bedtime. But her eyes snapped open when she heard footsteps. Her head whipped around, but her body relaxed when she saw it was Ian and Jamie.

Ian walked right to her and hugged her and she immediately wrapped her arms around him. When they separated, she looked at him and saw his eyes were puffy and there were clean lines going through the dirt on his cheeks.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, taking his face with both hands.

"Aye, I'm fine, love." The tone of his voice couldn't hide that he had been crying, and not gently.

"Ian, plea-"

He took her hands off him and held them. "Dinna fash, Yank. Ye needna be concerned."

"Lesley, let's get on with it," Jamie called out. Ian kissed her hands and left her to go help bring Hayes' body out of the wagon.

She absolutely did not believe him. Something had happened while they were digging the grave and, again, he was refusing to tell her anything.

As she walked over to him, she thought, Does he really think I won't love him anymore? There's no way. He can't.

"Life without Hayes just doesna seem right," Lesley spoke as he loosened the tarp that was covering the back of the wagon.

As he started to open it, a figure underneath the canvas sat up, making Skylar let out a scream. Ian pulled her behind him.

"Ifrinn an Diabhail! A Dhia, thoir cobhair!" Lesley exclaimed.

"Christ alive! Where did it come from?" Ian asked in a panic.

"From Hell. May it return there at once!" Jamie took his shovel and used the handle of it to stab whatever had risen and made it collapse. He and Lesley went to take the canvas off and see what it was. Skylar held on tight to Ian's arms, not wanting to actually see it.

When the men saw what it was, Jamie announced the thing was, "Not from Hell. From the gallows." It was a young man, probably mid 20s, who had snuck into their wagon at some point. Skylar breathed a sigh of relief and loosened her grip on Ian. When she saw the man's face, she thought he looked familiar, but she couldn't place from where.

"My apologies fer frightin' ye," the man spoke. He was Irish.

"Come," Jamie ordered. He dragged the would be spirit out and onto the ground, then pushed him up against the stone wall next to them.

"Who is he?" Skylar asked Lesley while Jamie interrogated the mystery man. She moved to put an arm around Ian's waist and he put his arm around hers.

"He was one of the prisoners meant te be hanged teday. He escaped," he answered.

Skylar realized where she had seen him. He had been in the jail with Hayes when she went to see him the day before and had been the one staring at her.

"How long were ye in the wagon?" Jamie demanded to know.

"Since midovernoon," the prisoner told him. "I crawled up there once the Frog loaded up poor old Hayes. I was keepin' him company, hopin' that ye'd be leavin' town and takin' me with ye." He looked at the rest of the group, his eyes staying on Skylar a few seconds too long, recognizing her as well.

Skylar swallowed hard. She had the same chill now that she had when she saw this man in the jail. Something about him gave her a very uncomfortable feeling. She didn't know why, but she wanted to be away from him as soon as possible. She put her other hand on Ian's shoulder to try to feel more at ease.

"Stephen Bonnet, sir," he said, looking back to Jamie and giving his name.

"Mr. Bonnet, fer what crime were ye condemned?" Jamie asked.

"Thievin', smugglin', piracy," he answered honestly.

"And how many men have ye killed in commission of yer crimes, Mr. Bonnet?"
"None that were not tryin' te kill me first. Same as yer friend."

Jamie looked at him hard, then released him.

"Alright. Ye can go." He walked back to everyone else. "I'll not hinder ye."

They all started back for the wagon to continue what they were doing when Bonnet stopped them.

"Might I trouble ye fer conveyance?" he inquired, catching up with them. "There'll be watchmen and soldiers out on the road tonight huntin' me. Ye could take me safely past them te a creek with an outlet down to the sea. From there ye'll be on yer way, free of the taint of my company."

Skylar could see Jamie and Claire thinking it over and considering it. She wanted to tell them not to do it, but she didn't have a good reason. So she stayed silent.

"I won't bother ye again. Ye have me word," Bonnet promised. They gave him no answer. "I'm beggin' ye, sir. In the name of Gavin Hayes. He said ye'd never turn yer back on a friend." Skylar's grip on Ian tightened in anger hearing him say her friend's name. She didn't like it coming from his mouth. Ian looked at her, wondering if she was okay. But she didn't see him. Her eyes were locked on the escaped criminal.

It was quiet again for an uncomfortable amount of time. Jamie seemed unsure of trusting this man they had just met and Skylar was screaming in her head for him to say no. She didn't know why she felt so afraid of Stephen Bonnet. Something in her gut just told her to be.

Lesley looked at Jamie and said, "Fer a friend'a Gavin?"
The redhaired man looked from his friend, to Claire and ended on Bonnet.

"Alright," he decided. "We'll take ye." Bonnet smiled widely.

"I'll go with you," Claire stated. "Husband and wife will seem less suspicious."

"Fine. First, we lay Hayes to rest. After we're done, ye three," he nodded in Skylar, Ian and Lesley's direction, "take the horses and return to the tavern. We'll deliver Mr. Bonnet te safety."

"Thank ye," Bonnet said, seeming completely sincere and grateful. "I'd only ask one more thing."

Are you shitting me? Skylar thought.

"That ye'd allow me te help ye bury a friend," he finished.

Jamie, almost smiling, handed him a shovel. Bonnet nodded in appreciation.

As Bonnet went to the front of the wagon to wait for the others, he accidentally bumped Skylar's shoulder. Ian instantly pulled her closer to him.

"My apologies, lass. I didn't hurt ye, I hope?" he said to her.

"I'm fine," she told him, feeling her anxiety rising.

He quickly looked her up and down, then turned to Ian. "Yer a lucky lad, havin' such a lovely young lady on yer arm." He winked at her, then continued on. She let out the breath she had been holding.

"Are ye alright, Skylar?" Ian asked, facing her. He could feel her uneasiness.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She crossed her arms. "I just have a weird feeling about him. Something just doesn't sit right with me. I don't know, I'm probably just acting crazy. But I just don't trust him."

"Well, we'll never have te see him again. Ye needna worry about that." He kissed her head then took her hand, the two of them following everyone else back to the cemetery.

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Jamie and Claire didn't come back that night after bringing Bonnet to wherever they had. None of their group was at all worried though. They knew it had been too late and dark for them to drive back into town and must've decided to camp for the night.

"If I never have to sleep on the ground again, it'll be too soon," Skylar commented as they were getting ready for bed.

She and Ian had shared their room with Lesley and Hayes. It felt so strange to sleep in it without Hayes. None of them mentioned it though. They had gotten the closure they needed burying him in the cemetery and they didn't want pick at any wounds that hadn't even started to heal.

Lesley seemed to fall asleep almost immediately, though Skylar thought he was just pretending to. She and Ian kissed goodnight then they laid down, Skylar keeping a hand on his chest, and he with his arm around her.

A few hours later, she was woken up by Ian tossing and turning.

"Are you okay, Youngin'?" she asked very groggily, barely opening her eyes.

"Stop. No. Please, no more," she heard Ian say in his sleep. That woke her up immediately. "I dinna want this. Stop!"
She sat up and started shaking him to try to wake him up.

"Ian. Ian, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

"I don't, no. No!" he continued.

"Ian, love, you need to wake up!"

"Stop! Stop!" He bolted upright. His eyes were wide open and scouring the room, looking for something that wasn't there. "Where is she? Where did she go?"

"She's not here. You're safe." He snapped his head to her. He was breathing heavily and she could see beads of sweat on his forehead. She took his face securely in both hands and repeated, looking him directly in the eye, "You're okay, my love. I'm here with you. No one is going to hurt you."

Looking at her, he felt his heartbeat start to slow and his breathing was returning to normal. He felt safe looking at her, which is why he didn't stop himself from crying this time.

Seeing him let his tears come, she brought his head down to her chest and held him and rocked him, as he had for her earlier that day. She didn't say anything. She just let him cry.

This was the worst night he'd had since coming back. He had had a lot nightmares, but he had never spoken out loud while they were happening, and she was scared that meant they were getting worse. She needed to know how to help him. She couldn't watch him be tortured like this.

He started to quiet. She continued to hold him to her as he wiped away the last of his tears.

They stayed like this in silence for a few minutes, until Skylar said, "Ian, please talk to me. I want so badly to take your pain away. But I don't know how to do that unless you talk to me."

"Ye willna look at me the same," he told her, just above a whisper. "And I couldna bear that."

That made her heart hurt.

Omigod, Claire was right.

"Ian, can you look at me?" He slowly pushed himself to sitting and turned his face to her. She placed her hand on his leg. "You know there is absolutely nothing you could ever do that would make me not love you, right?" He lowered his eyes. "I love you, Ian. And that is for forever. You have to believe me. You can tell me anything and, I promise, it will not change how I feel about you. Please, my love. Tell me what's going on."

"I thought tellin' Uncle Jamie tonight would make me fine. And that the dreams would stop."

"When did you talk to Jamie?"
"When we were diggin' in the cemetery." She took a silent breath.

That's why he wasn't okay when he came back to the wagon.

"When I saw the grave, memories came inte me head. And it…paralyzed me."

"Can you tell me about the memories?" He closed his eyes, still very wary of saying anything. "Ian, please. Seeing you like this, it-it's destroying me. I know you're scared to say it out loud to me, but I swear on my life, you will not lose my love. I want to help."

He took a few deep breaths, then started. "I thought she was goin' te kill me. She told me she was goin' te kill me. Part of me almost wishes she had." That hit her like a punch, but she didn't react. She just waited for him to continue. "When I was first brought te her, she said that she laid wi' virgins, and then…disposed of them after. Why she did that I still dinna ken. But I told her I wasna one, that bein' the truth. I was thinkin' maybe it would get me out of there as she would have no use fer me. But I was wrong." Skylar saw his fingers curl into a tight fist. She placed her hand over his fist to try to relax him. He looked at their hands and locked their fingers together. He didn't look at her as he continued. He just stared at their hands. "She…after the first time…she kept me alive to use me as her whore. She made me…do things te her that I'd never known of, and she'd do similar te me." His voice started to crack as he went on, and Skylar could see his eyes getting watery again. "I tried te fight her every time she called fer me. I told her that I didna want this, I wanted it te stop. But…but her servants, they would use different ways te make me give meself te her. I had started te wish she would just kill me and end it already." He blinked and a couple tears fell down his face. Skylar felt like her heart was being ripped out as he spoke. She wanted to throw up at how upset and disgusted she was at what that woman did to him.

"Ian," she whispered delicately, trying not to let the shakiness of her breathing show. She raised his head to face her and just looked at him for a minute. She could see how deeply this had affected him. Just from talking about it, the light and shine in his eyes that made anyone around him feel happy had dimmed greatly. He was in so much pain. She could also see the worry he felt telling her this. "Why would you believe that you being forced to endure that would make me think any less of you?"

"Because…because though I hated every second of it, my, uh…my…" He obviously felt uncomfortable getting out whatever it was he was trying to say. "It still felt good," he ended with, looking back down. He took his hand from hers. "I tried te ignore it. I-I tried te imagine it bein' painful so that I wouldn't…" He stopped again, but Skylar knew how that sentence ended. "I couldna stop it. I feel so gross and wrong. How could I allow meself te do that? How could I not control it or stop it? I just gave her what she wanted." He hated this. He hated telling her all of this. He felt horribly sick and he couldn't look at her as he admitted everything. Though she was saying her feelings for him hadn't changed, he found that impossible to believe. How could she still love him the same?

Skylar swallowed back her own tears. Only one of them could be hurting right now, and it had to be him.

"Love," she said, having him look at her again, "that is not your fault. You can't control your body like that. It doesn't know the difference between being with someone you love and want, and rape." Ian closed his eyes tight, more tears falling at hearing that word. She knew he still felt guilty and ashamed, and that he didn't believe he wasn't somehow to blame. Needing to get his attention to really make him hear her, she moved into him and straddled him. She held his face up towards hers, and he held onto her waist. She continued to speak but in a much firmer tone. "Listen to me, Ian Murray. You did nothing wrong. You were the one who was wronged. I almost wish that bitch was still alive just so I could kill her myself, slowly and painfully, for causing you so much suffering. You did what you had to do to survive. And I could never love you the smallest bit less for that. I love you even more for it. You are so damn strong and brave. You will get through this, and I will be right here to help you. I love you, and I will keep saying that until you actually believe it." She kissed him hard to try to further prove it to him; and, after a moment of hesitation, he kissed her back. They grew more fervent as they went on, and when they pulled apart they were a little dizzy from the intensity of it. She kept her forehead against his and they stayed like that, not exchanging any sounds or words, for many minutes.

When she could tell he had calmed down enough to try to sleep again, Skylar moved off him and they laid back down. She held him close to her and stroked his hair as he slowly drifted off. She watched him sleep for a while, hoping that talking to her had helped him in some way and that he no longer had any fear of losing her. She clenched her eyes tight and bit her lip as she finally allowed herself to silently react to what he had told her.

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When Jamie and Claire came back the next morning, they told the others that they would be attending a dinner party that night hosted by William Tryon, the governor of North Carolina. They were hoping that one of his wealthy friends would buy their ruby, one of the last of their gems from Jamaica, in order to be able to pay for their voyage back to Scotland.

While they were gone, Lesley went out on his own to "test out" the different pubs in the town, obviously trying to drown the pain he still felt over Hayes, and Skylar, Ian, Fergus and Marsali all hung out together.

As they ate their own dinner, Skylar noticed Marsali was acting very off. Whatever food was in front of her made her gag and she couldn't stomach any of it. She was also much more tired than usual and was holding her head like she had a constant headache.

"Are you alright, Marsali?" Skylar asked her when Fergus and Ian got up to refill their drinks. "I'm really getting worried about you. You've been sick for well over a month now and you're not getting any better."

Marsali chuckled at her sister-in-law's concern. "Dinna fash, Sky. Ye truly have no reason te worry. I'm only goin' te be feelin' worse over the next few months."

"The next few months? What do you mean? Why would you be so sick for-" When she saw the way Marsali smiled at her, she figured it out. "Marsali, are you pregnant?" The girl in question pressed her lips together to keep her smile from spreading, which only confirmed it. "Omigod! What?!" Skylar shot up to standing and nearly knocked the other girl over as she hugged her. "This is incredible! Wait," she pulled back, "you're happy about this, right? Cause I know you said you wanted to wait on this, so I wanna make sure-"

"I'm happy, Sky. I'm verra happy."

When the two men returned to the table, Skylar jumped onto Fergus, hugging him just as tightly as she had his wife.

"What's going on?" Fergus asked when she finally let go. "What's happened?"
"I can't believe I'm going to have a little niece or nephew! This is so exciting!"

Fergus looked past her to Marsali. "I thought we were going to tell everyone tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, I couldna help it," Marsali replied, her huge smile not doing much for the sincerity of her apology. "Just act surprised tomorrow, the both'a ye, aye?"

Skylar and Ian agreed, and spent the rest of their night celebrating the wonderful news.

I know I always post on Saturdays, but since tomorrow is the Fourth of July, I thought I'd update today in lieu of the holiday. Surprise!

How many times have I had to make one chapter into two because I cannot control my word count? And, like always, since they were meant to be one, I give you both of them. Hope you like them!