Haruhi fluttered her eyes, waking up against Souji's hard and warm chest. She took a deep breath to fill herself with that scent she liked so much. Souji's hand came carressing the back of her neck and she looked up to find him gazing at her with a smile.
« You stayed all night. » he stated.
« Good morning. » she replied with a smile before she attempted to joke « how's your first morning of married man ? »
« A lot better than expected. » he chuckled « That's a sight I'd like to wake up to every morning. That must be the weirdest wedding ever... »
« Oh, I can top that. » she laughed « last wedding I attended ended up with a hostage demand and drawn swords. »
« Well at least, you didn't find yourself in the groom's bed. » he commented.
« And I'd rather not. » she smiled « It was Kaoru. »
« He has a pretty face. » protested Souji with a wry smile.
« Yesterday you were telling me that Chizuru wasn't your type and now, Kaoru has a pretty face ? » she chuckled « they have exactly the same ! Plus, I was eleven ! »
Souji smiled and trapped her in his arms, nearly suffocating her. She let him a few minutes but then, Haruhi kissed him and stretched her arms, sitting up.
« You're going ? » asked Souji, disappointment perking through his voice.
« Tsune is probably gonna come this morning to be sure you did your duty. » explained Haruhi « I'd rather not have her see me here, especially wearing the same kimono as yesterday. Night has been anguishing enough for me to be insulted on top of that. Plus, if Kurozawa-sensei doesn't see me in the morning, he's gonna panic. »
« Will you come back ? » he asked in a low voice.
« Probably. » she smiled « if Tama has no objections. Not sure about sharing your bed though. »
« I think Tama is too polite to voice objections. » he said, laying on the futon with hands behind his head, naked and the covers only hiding him to the waist.
« That doesn't mean she doesn't have any. » frowned Haruhi « and she's your wife. She must have a saying in this. »
« Hum, hum... » he nodded.
Haruhi dressed herself with her furisode and her obi and put her kanzashi in her sleeve, tying her hair in a side braid.
« This kimono's lovely. » commented Souji, still not bothering to get up « You chose it well. »
« If you like it that much, I'll wear it again. » she said with a smile.
« I like that thought... » he smiled in return with a teasing attitude « to know that you'll be wearing it just to please me... It'll be hard not to rip it off you. »
« Souji ! » she protested as he got up, holding her from behind.
She could feel his hot breath in her neck, his palms squeezing her waist and his arousal against her backside.
« Ne... Haru-chan... » he whispered in her ear, brushing his nose against her neck, pleading playfully « I want you very much... Surely you can give me a few minutes of your time... »
« I just dressed myself. » she frowned.
« It can be removed... » he whispered, plunging a hand inside her kimono while the other was rolling the fabric up her ankles and thighs. « Or maybe we don't even need to take it off... You really look cute in it, makes me wanna eat you up. »
« No. » she stated, wiggling out of his grasp « I don't want to be face to face with Tsune. »
« You're gonna leave me like this ? » he faked an extreme sadness.
« Use your hand. » she winked with a smile.
« So mean to me... » he sighed « I take it back, you're no saint. »
Haruhi tiptoed to kiss him and she got out, eager to come back to the workshop before Kurozawa-sensei could notice she was out for the night. When she was on her way out though, she found herself in front of Tama.
« Ah ! Haru-chan ! » blushed the girl « good morning. »
« Good morning, Tama-chan. » replied Haruhi politely, all flustered.
I nearly forgot she was there now... Gods, this is so awkward...
« You're going back to the pottery shop ? » asked Tama « I couldn't sleep longer so I made breakfast if you want some... »
« Yeah, I'm... » she stuttered « No, I'm fine, I'd... I'd better go... »
« Oh... Okay... » said Tama with a sad expression « Have a nice day then... »
Haruhi thanked her and started to walk but she turned over.
« Tama-chan... » she said « you really don't care ? You really can live like this ? »
« I... » Tama avoided her gaze, thinking « I don't mind if it makes Souji happy. »
« But does it make you happy ? » she asked, insistent.
« Hum... No... » she blushed « but... Staying here alone would be worst. And... It doesn't change much for me since Souji doesn't sleep with me at night. »
« Would you like him to ? » asked Haruhi.
« I... I don't know... » she shook her head « Why are you asking all this ? »
« Because no one is ever asking for your opinion. » stated Haruhi « And because I know it's easy to think something and then, think something completely different and not dare to say that you changed your mind. »
« I'm fine, Haru-chan » said Tama with a smile « I'm okay sleeping in my room. It would be strange to have him besides me all night. »
« Even after tonight ? » asked Haruhi, the question burning her lips.
Tama became as red as a tomato and she played with her hands in nervousness, looking at the tatami.
« Hum... yes. You... You were right, Haru-chan. » she said, uneasy « Souji is caring and he has been gentle... it didn't hurt. »
« And wasn't it strange, to see him leaving afterwards ? » asked Haruhi, fighting the images in her mind « to not have him holding you ? To not wake up by his side ? »
That would have killed me if I were in your position.
« I... I don't know... » stuttered Tama.
« You always say you don't know but is it true though ? Or are you just trying to make everyone happy and negate your own feelings ? »
« I... I... » stuttered Tama, not accustomed to having so blunt questions asked to her. She seemed completely lost and confused. « It was nice... with Souji... but if he wasn't gone then, what were we supposed to do ? He and I don't have much to talk about and we would just have stayed together in an awkward silence. »
« So you prefer to be alone ? If you could have the choice. » insisted Haruhi.
« Okaasan says it's normal for him to leave because it's only to make babies. She says men stay only when they have sexual fantasies but that the bond between a husband and a wife is purer than that and that pleasure isn't the main goal contrarily to relationships based on lust. So... I don't think it's a bad thing. It shows our marriage is pure, I guess... »
« Try to think more about what makes you happy, Tama-chan. » stated Haruhi « not what makes your mother happy, not what makes Souji happy but what makes YOU happy. »
« But... They're my mother and my husband... » she protested, eyes wide.
Gods, I'm so glad my father raised me with choices to make... She's totally brainwashed.
« Try to think about it. » sighed Haruhi.
« Why do you want to help me ? » frowned Tama « you should be happy that you can still be with him... I don't understand... »
« I felt sad. » stated Haruhi « tonight. While he was with you. You are my friend, Tama and I want to be sure you're not feeling the same sadness and emptiness, when he's with me. You are his wife. I have no desire to bring shame or sorrow on your union. »
« I... I know... » bowed Tama with a smile « Don't worry about me, Haru-chan. Even if Souji was... hum... nice... I don't feel sad at the idea that he might not come to me. I just hope he'll come often enough so I can get pregnant but appart from that, I don't yearn for his presence. »
Haruhi smiled, even if she was thinking that Tama's whole situation was a bit sad. But the girl never loved anyone so maybe she couldn't understand what she was missing. If Tama were to fall in love one day, and if that man wasn't Souji... Haruji prefered not to think about it.
« Hey girls. » smiled Souji, coming in, perfectly oblivious to the whole tensed conversation « You're not gone yet, Haru-chan ? I thought you were in a hurry. »
He was speaking casually as if all this situation was perfectly normal but Haruhi wasn't a fool. He was hiding behind joyful words to lift spirits and not make this awkward, but he wasn't that happy in the inside.
« I'm on my way. » replied Haruhi « I just spoke with Tama-chan a little. »
« Anata » bowed Tama « I made breakfast if you are hungry. »
« Ora ! Okay, first order as husband, Tama-chan » chuckled Souji « Don't call me that. »
« How should I call you ? » asked Tama, eyes wide and face all flustered.
« Why not Master ? » grinned Souji.
« Ma... Master ? » repeated Tama astonished.
« Souji, you fucking cunt. » hissed Haruhi.
« No, I don't think I like fucking cunt, either... » he shrugged.
« Don't pay attention, Tama-chan » said Haruhi, looking at her flustered friend « It's his sick sense of humor. »
« Yeah, Tama-chan. » said Souji with a faint smile « sorry, it was just a joke... Call me Souji and that will do. »
« Okay... » she bowed « Sorry Souji. I will try to understand your jokes in the future. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. »
A shadow passed in Souji's eyes but he quickly smiled gently to Tama.
« So... I heard something about breakfast ? » he said to change the subject.
« I'll leave you both to it. » said Haruhi « have a nice day. »
« Have a nice day, Haru-chan. » bowed Tama.
« See ya. » smiled Souji « No students today. Tama and I need to go to Tokyo to register our wedding at the Bakufu administration. »
« Hum, Souji... » said Tama politely « There's no Bakufu anymore... »
« Oh yeah, right... » he nodded « Then where are we supposed to go ? »
« It's the government administration but it's not that different, I think. » she answered with a shy smile « Okaasan will come too. »
« Yeah, alright. We'll go there. Courses start again tomorrow, Haru-chan. If you're still interested. »
« I'll be there. » nodded Haruhi.
She went outside and quickly got away from the Shieikan, avoiding to pass in front of the Kondou house and making a detour to be sure she wouldn't find herself in front of Tsune. When she arrived at the pottery shop, she took away her sandals and slid the shoji slowly, trying not to wake the old man up. She tiptoed, opened her futon without a noise and startled when she heard Kurozawa-sensei's voice.
« You stole the Kondou girl's wedding night ? »
« Good morning. » she replied, getting blushing red « why are you already up ? »
« Why are you coming back in the morning ? » he asked in response.
« Unbelievable... » she sighed « I fight everyday to get you out of bed and the only day I come back in the morning, you rise with the sun. »
« You spent the night with Okita-san ? » he asked, crossing his arms.
« What if I did ? » she replied on the defensive.
« Have you already forgotten what happened last time ? » he asked « because I haven't and I'm not ready to get through all that bloodloss again. Moreover, it was his wedding night. He should have been with his wife. »
« He has been with her... » she muttered and Kurozawa-sensei's frown softened.
« Are you okay, Fujita ? » he asked softly.
« Yeah. » she nodded « Yeah, I'm fine. »
« Are you planning on becoming Okita-san's concubine ? »
« I don't think so... I don't know... » she sighed « I've been a whore once. Then I entered an honorable family and I behaved accordingly, more or less... I don't think I can bear to be nothing more than Souji's mistress... I know it's what he expects of me but... The situation is so complicated... » she sat down, holding her head in her hands.
« You were a prostitute ? » asked Kurozawa-sensei, surprised « you don't look anything like one... and your behaviour is the one of an honorable girl. Well, mostly. Spending the night with the groom on his wedding night isn't really ladylike. »
« I was one only two years » she smiled « from seven to nine years old. Then no man ever touched me until Souji. » she sighed « I love him with all my heart. »
« Seven to nine... » he muttered, handing her a cup of tea « town people are crazy. Girls that age aren't even formed, they shouldn't work... »
« That's why I can't just stay Souji's mistress... » she said, grabbing the cup « thank you. I had the chance to start over, to live a more honorable life and I don't want to get back to be defined only by my cunt. I know Souji's love for me is true but others, they won't care about that. They will think like Tsune, that I spread my legs for Souji's favors. That's not what I want. »
« Then what do you want ? » asked the old man, sitting with her « Your actions since you quitted the Shieikan have no logic. Or if there is one, I can't fathom it. You kill your baby, you accept to work at the Shieikan, you help the bride prepare but spend the night with her husband... and I'm pretty sure there's a lot more. »
« I can't deny logic isn't really ruling my life right now... » muttered Haruhi « I act with impulsiveness and I need to think and sort things out, figure out what is most important to me... Yet, every time I seem to take a decision, something else pulls me back on the other path. »
« You know my opinion. Quit, dump him, find someone else. » he stated with a nod.
« A wise one. » she nodded « But if the kami gave me back Souji... I would betray them by giving up... »
« What is that nonsense again ? » he frowned « Don't bring the kami into this. They have far more important things to do than care about your little crush. »
« Maybe. » chuckled Haruhi « and maybe not. »
« You're as insane as Okita-san. » he stated angrily.
Haruhi chuckled. There was some truth in that. Souji and her were a lot too similar on many aspects, including their impulsiveness, their lingering anger and their darkness, that they were both fighting in their own way. Maybe they were both insane too. That wouldn't really be surprising.