A.N.: hey guys, just wanted to let y'all know that guest reviews (the type of review you leave if you are not logged into an FFN account) are NOT showing up in my moderation box. Instead, they are showing up on the review page several days after they are submitted. SO, if you leave a guest review and it doesn't show up right away, please now that I HAVE read them, they are sent to my email, and that they will show up on the review page in a few days time!

A burning, searing sensation split through his mind, illuminating the previously black depths of it and yanking him back into consciousness. His eyes slit open, but he couldn't make out any of his surroundings. He attempts to sit up and grasp his pounding head, but his arms are bound behind his back, leaving him helpless to lay against the cold floor.

Wasn't he... wasn't he dead?

He'd died.

He'd... tried to die.

His last memory flitted to the forefront, demanding to be seen.

A woman, desperate and screaming.

For him.

'Kagome...'

Something sharp, gleaming, glowing treacherously entered his field of vision and he instinctively flinched away from it. A dark chuckle filled the room and he glanced up as best he could into the face of a creature he'd never seen.

"Hello Loki, little prince of Asgard."

The voice was soothing enough, a calm greeting that belied the obvious danger of the scepter the being held.

Loki said nothing, simply staring at his captor, hoping his mind would clear enough soon that he could attempt to get out of wherever this place was.

The being grinned, a cruel, dark parody of kindness stretching his purple skin, and his eyes glinted maliciously.

"I have saved you from death, princeling, and as thanks for my benevolence, I have need of your... particular talents."

The scepter touched his forehead, reigniting that terrible fire that ripped through his mind, intruded in his thoughts, rifled through his memories..

Somewhere in all the magnitudes of space and time, Loki screamed.

———————

Kagome counted the stars.

Zillions of them winked and sparkled like diamonds across a swathe of black velvet. She gave each a number and then each a name, filling all the idle spaces in her brain with them, giving them something to do, something to hold on to.

Something other than-

She began again, this time finding new constellations to name and write stories for, relating them to other Asgardian constellation tales.

The thin sound of distant music drifted up on a night breeze, tickling her ears and breaking her concentration on her distraction, and the evidence of merrymaking made her heart curdle.

A celebration of Thor's return home.

She should have known they'd do such a thing, Asgard loved to party, but it was just so soon after the death of one of their princes, one who'd tried to be their king.

He'd messed up, yes, but his heart had been in it.

His broken heart.

She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, forcing her tears back. She was just too tired to cry again.

There had been a very small sort of memorial for Loki, but considering the circumstances Odin had not wanted it to be a usual, larger affair.

Just he, Frigga, Thor and herself.

At the time it had felt peaceful and private. Now it just felt blasphemous.

It had only been a couple days ago, and now they were partying.

For the other prince.

Who'd just been banished for attempting genocide.

She rubbed her temples to stave off another migraine, weary of trying to understand why one brother's actions were so easily brushed aside over the other's.

Favortism was all she could come up with and the bitterness of it burned in her stomach like she'd swallowed hot coals.

But it wasn't Thor's fault. Not really. His love for Loki had been as true as her own, even if he was a little blinded to some things.

And he was mourning too, she could tell.

So when he knocked on her door in the middle of his party, his sad, wilted aura brushing against her from the other side, she opened up for him and allowed him to step in with a tray of food.

"I brought you something to eat. I knew you wouldn't come down."

With a ghost of a smile she thanked him, crossing her arms and pulling her robe tighter around herself.

"I'm sorry, I just can't-"

"Please don't apologize. I didn't want to do this so close to... everything. But father insisted."

Her gaze drifted back out her window, her smile growing distant and cold.

'Of course he did.'

"When you feel like it, I would like to speak with you about some things I saw. I went to your homeland Kagome! I... have no one else to really share it with."

Her heart faltered and her attention snapped back.

"You... went to Japan?"

His brow furrowed and he focused on the ceiling, trying to remember the name of the place he'd crash-landed.

"New... Mexico?"

She giggled a little, and his face brightened at the sound, meager as it was.

"Thor that's in America. Half a world away from where I was born. But... I would like to hear of it. I really would."

He smiled fondly, opening his arms. She rushed into them, letting him squeeze the life out of her. She hiccuped a little sob and he kissed her head before pushing her back by her shoulders and staring her intently in the eyes.

"We will get through this, sister of mine, you will see. Together, we will get through it. You are not alone here, don't forget that."

Tears swam in her vision, and she felt alone, but she nodded and mustered up something close to a little grin.

He stepped back through her door, and pulled it closed, poking his head back in at the last second.

"Eat."

She rolled her eyes and waved him off, and when the door clicked closed, she approached the table he'd left the tray in.

She would eat.

Later.

She hopped up into her bed and wrapped herself up in the sheets, burying her face in the pillows.

They still smelled like him.

She willed the tears away again, refusing to wash the scent of him away quicker, and she slipped into sleep to meet him in her dreams.

—————————————-

She wandered the halls a bit aimlessly on her way to meet Thor in the gardens. He was forcing her outside into the warm light of day for fresh air or sunshine or whatever.

She'd rather just stay inside. Loki's scent was fading from their room and the thought of missing any of it made her panicky.

Which is how she knew he was right. She needed to get out.

She just wished it didn't feel like she was trudging through mud, or breathing in oil, that the weight that had settled on her chest was a little bit lighter.

She could hear the whispers sometimes, when she strayed too close to other living beings, whispers wondering if she would follow in her husband's dark footsteps. Or if she'd been under his spell the whole time, as if Loki had been some evil sorcerer lying in wait for a moment to strike.

What kind of moron waited a whole millennia to strike in one kingdom? He'd had plenty of opportunities to overthrow everything if that's what he'd wanted, he was a prince for goodness sake. Not some old angry wizard living in a cave and trying to sneak in.

One hapless fool had even approached her to to tell her to her face that they were glad she was free from his grasp.

She couldn't remember exactly what she'd said to him but it had been the last time someone had tried that with her.

Word traveled fast in a palace of idiots, apparently.

She sighed as she finally stepped out into the garden, shielding her eyes from the bright, sizzling summer light.

Thor sat close by at a table in the shade and she hurried over, ready to relieve her eyes.

"Thank you for coming Kagome."

"You told me you'd drag me out in my bathrobe if I didn't come willingly so. Didn't really have a choice."

He smiled shamelessly, happy to see her with brushed hair and in real clothes for once.

"Sit sit, I have all your favorites."

She took stock of the table and noticed he'd spoken true, he had got all of her favorites.

Her chin wobbled and she fell into the chair, wiping her tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, this is just very sweet and I've been so awful and-"

His hand grabbed hers, silencing her rambling. Tears shimmered in his own eyes, and she sniffed and shrugged, giggling a watery, helpless giggle.

"Alright. I get it. Sad together, happy together. Now let's eat."

He watched her closely while she picked at this and that, attempting to stretch her appetite around her grief and it made him proud of her strength.

She'd laugh at him for thinking this way, but she was winning a mighty battle of the heart.

He noticed her toying with something in her neckline, something that caught the light and glinted here and there, and it piqued his curiosity.

"What have you got?"

Her hand stilled and her eyes widened, filling with haunted shadows and reluctance, but she pulled out a necklace, a long chain with an ornately carved pendant, a faceted jewel the color of her eyes nestled in the center.

"It's um... it's a locket Loki had made for me... after we got married."

She opened it and out shimmered a suspended image of she and Loki dressed in the wedding finery of her home country, a perfect, smaller replica of their wedding portrait. It blurred and cleared into their other portrait, the one made in their traditional Asgardian wedding clothes.

Thor marveled at the pure peace and happiness on their faces, and he regretted that it had all been ripped away.

"I want one."

Her head tilted and her brow cocked in confusion.

"Huh? You want a locket with my wedding portrait in it?"

"Yes." He gestured to Loki's serene smile and shrugged. "It's how I want to remember him."

She searched his eyes for several moments and nodded.

"Okay. I'll talk to the artist who made it. It'll be a gift...from me. Now, enough of the sad stuff, tell me about earth!"

She listened raptly, soaking in bits of a place she thought to never have a connection with again, remembering technologies that had once been commonplace in her life.

And some that weren't. It would seem the present day on earth was many years past the present she'd been born in, and things had advanced past what she remembered.

How odd. She'd never imagined earth marching on without her, though she knew that it would, but it momentarily awakened ancient, crumbling feelings of wistfulness in her.

And then Thor dropped the bomb.

"I... met someone there."

She blinked and stared, letting his words settle and make sense.

"Like... romantically?"

Shockingly his cheeks warmed.

"Yes, I care for her very much. Her name is Jane."

"A human woman?"

He chuckled a little uncomfortably and scratched at the back of his neck.

"Yes. Is that so unbelievable?"

She shook her head rapidly to clear the shock and waved her hands.

"No! No it's not. Um... well, tell me how you met her. Tell me all about her!"

"She hit me with her van."

She burst out laughing. It was absurd, so so absurd she forgot her grief for a moment.

Thor grinned. He knew she'd have a hard time resisting that detail.

She listened to him talk about his blossoming feelings for a woman a million light years away, selfless in her happiness for him despite her anguish for her own lost love, and Thor marveled at the size of her heart. He felt terrible bringing up his own sadness next to hers, but he also felt safe. His sister always had room for more love and compassion than anyone else.

"But I shall never see her again."

"What? Why?"

"I destroyed the bifrost, remember? And I have much to do to prove myself again."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, picking up another pastry and ripping tiny bites from it.

"Oh please. They're fixing the bifrost right now. If you really care for her Thor, don't give up on her so easily. Humans... they don't live very long, I'm a unique exception. Don't... don't waste more time than you need to."

That was a sobering thought he hadn't spent enough time considering, but for now he steered the conversation back to lighter things, determined that they would enjoy a time away from grief for a while.

And Kagome was glad for it. The time she had left before her seemed a bleak, empty wasteland to hobble through. But with moments like this... she might be able to hobble on anyway.

And she did. For quite some time she did, as the wounds in her heart slowly, painfully stitched together.