Chapter 43 Cusp of the Bravest Dawn

As soon as Nate had disappeared from the helm of the Frigate, Dr. Colress had quit playing games, wanting nothing to do with Hugh's push for a battle. Rosa, who had been watching lividly from the sidelines, hesitant to interfere for fear of retribution at the hands of the Shadow Triad (of which Dr. Colress seemed to have full control of for the moment), looked on with a twinge of surprise as Dr. Colress snapped his fingers and ordered the Shadow Triad to teleport himself as well as Rosa away, to a remote laboratory. Rosa hadn't known what he was talking about, and had scoffed, wondering if he'd lost his mind to be thinking she'd go anywhere with him, but before the Shadow Triad had a chance to obey his orders, Hugh had screamed for them to wait and directed his Keldeo to attack one of them. Blindsided by a blow from the pokémon's hooves against his spine, the single member was stunned and pinned to the floor.

"Where is my sister's Purrloin? My Trapinch?!" Hugh had demanded, in their face. "I know you're the one that took my sister's! I recognize your voice!"

"I no longer have it, nor does my brother have your Trapinch," the Shadow Triad member had dutifully responded to him once he regained his composure. Teleporting to Dr. Colress' side, he continued tersely. "The Purrloin turned out to be inefficient to raise according to Lord Ghetsis' standards and was abandoned during an emergency evacuation in Castelia, and the Trapinch evolved into a Flygon long ago. It died during repairs at Lord N's Castle three years ago. That's all I know."

Hugh had gawked at him with his crimson eyes wide as saucers. "No, no, that can't be right—"

"Teleport us to the P2 Laboratory!" Dr. Colress had snarled, cutting off their conversation, and just like that, Rosa had found herself on a quaint little island, far, far away from the bloodbath the Plasma Frigate and the entirety of the Giant Chasm would become. At first, she didn't see anyone, and confusedly looked around, noting the gentle, rolling hills and a distant, square building, reminiscent of a warehouse with its thin drywall exterior. Then, white-sleeved arms latched around her from behind, clamping her own to her side. She heard huffing breaths in her right ear, and she knew immediately it was Dr. Colress.

She curled her lip and jumped, as if trying to buck him off like a wild Zebstrika. Yet, he held steadfast, and snapped in her ear, "Is this good enough for you, Miss Rosa? Are you happy now? If my technology succeeds in drawing forth Kyurem's power, if cruelty and electronics really are the way through to pokémon, then your friends will fail in their bid to stop him, and I will no longer have anyone in this world!" He squeezed even tighter on her, making it so, very difficult to breathe… Hissing, almost, he demanded, "Is this what you wanted? Answer me, because I don't understand!"

"You're so lost in his lies!" Rosa angrily retorted in her fading breaths. Somehow, her frustration at him was insurmountable, trumping even the very human need to breathe as his tight grip on her cinched the oxygen supply to her body. "You're so fucking smart and so fucking powerful, you could have taken care of that old man ages ago, but instead you let him manipulate you and play you for a fool. You idiot. You don't have nobody!" What about me? What about ME? You did this to ME!

She heard him draw in a sharp breath against her ear to hotly defend himself, and she struggled harder against his hold, cutting him off shrilly, "No! Shut up! You listen to me now! You let him… let him use me!" Bile rose in her throat as she thought to Ghetsis' disgusting touch, the way his fingers had cupped her chest. She fleetingly remembered Nate, and how pleasant and sweet his touch had been earlier that fateful morning… then she banished it quickly as she realized she'd never have such an opportunity again. She'd never even get to hear the rare, hopeful tone he had learned to use in lieu of his old, resentful ways. The hurt quickly spiraled back into fury as she remembered him turning on her upon learning about his father. All but curling her lips, she angrily thought, I did him a favor! I did that for him! I was horrified by it, but I did it for him! How fucking ungrateful! I went through hell for that, all for him! With no Nate to unload that anger on, she furiously huffed with her dying breaths as Dr. Colress' squeezing hold only grew in intensity, redirecting her rage to the immature, sociopathic doctor behind her, "I didn't choose what Ghetsis wanted me to do. You're the one that tried to get me to do what he wanted, Colress!"

At last, his grip loosened, and she coughed and gasped for breath as she collapsed to the sandy ground. He similarly fell to his knees behind her, digging his hands at his blond hair. "I just… I just don't understand!" he howled frustratedly. Rosa realized then that the Shadow Triad had been flanking him, but they seemed to perk up at something, and then disappeared in a flash. Dr. Colress didn't react to that, just wailing again, "I don't understand you! I don't understand Ghetsis! I don't understand what I feel about anything! For all I know of pokémon and math…"

"You can't logic out emotions, Colress!" Rosa hoarsely sputtered at him, rubbing her torso. His grip on her had been so tight, the metallic mesh had started to prick at her skin, making it itchy and uncomfortable beneath. Voice softening slightly, she hung her head. "You just… you can't…" I certainly can't logic out how we got here… How it got this far…

"Everything has logic," he insisted, shaking his head rapidly. "I-it would be madness, otherwise, life chaos. Everything has a reason and a purpose, and if you can't figure those out, then it's not real, and emotions are real, so they must—"

"Colress!" Rosa cried, her voice breaking under the strain. His arms slacked and dropped from his head, and he looked up at her… fearfully? The near-frightened reverence in his round, amber gaze melted away her anger, melted away the hurt at Nate finding out about her, sapped the pain of her Emboar's death, and… disturbingly, she swore it inspired her. She trudged forward on her knees to him and, apprehensively pressing her palms to his shoulders, Rosa swallowed against a painful lump of feelings in her throat. "Dr. Colress… All I've wanted in all of this… is for you to realize… that Ghetsis had used you… I always just wanted you…"

But for what did you want him? a small voice pressed her from the far reaches of her rapidly dwindling sanity. Why are you really so angry at him for listening to Ghetsis?

He froze under her touch and just looked up at her, almost hauntedly. "You were nothing more than an experiment," he said in a ghostly mumble. "That's… all you were meant to be."

"That's not all I am, is it?" she asked encouragingly, almost baitingly. Come on, Dr. Colress, she thought possessively. I just want you… …You're all I have, now…

"No… this morning, what I saw of you and Nathan Daniels… filled me with more feelings I didn't understand. That shouldn't happen. This is a horribly biased, majorly flawed experiment," he choked out through a strangled voice. He cracked an almost demented smile and issued a hysteric laugh. "Miss Rosa, this is madness. None of this makes sense. You don't make sense."

She felt a powerful bolt of satisfaction, one that made her shift her weight from side to side, and she couldn't help the contented grin that spread across her face. Of course, hidden behind her visor, he couldn't see it. Deciding she wanted him to see, she opted to tear away the helmet altogether, tossing it to the sand behind her. "No, I don't," she said softly. "I don't know what it is about you, Dr. Colress… I was terrified of you at first. But as much as you don't get me… I don't get you…" She pressed her forehead to his and he flinched at the touch, but quickly relaxed, oh-so-similarly to how Nate had done that very same morning. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she recognized how sick and twisted it was that all these confrontations with Dr. Colress only drew her intoxicatingly closer to him, but she refused to acknowledge the masochism of it, just wanting to enjoy him. "As much as you say you're fascinated by me… I'm fascinated by you. Maybe we don't have to make sense…"

"What do you mean?" he asked, panting slightly from the rush of it all. Smirking, Rosa thought his discomfort, his apprehension, was delightful. "Everything has to make sense, nothing happens without reason, and if Ghetsis succeeds, he will be furious at me for my betrayal, and I will—"

"You'll have me," she huskily finished his sentence for him as she placed a finger over his lips. He stared back up at her, still fearful, and she licked her own lips, furtively looking around their tropical surroundings. "Are you sure there's nowhere you have left to go…? Somewhere you could go… with me? Just me? No more Ghetsis at all? I mean… something like this place is nice." She slyly smirked. "Beaches are nice."

"Well…" he tentatively whispered, "I think I have a couple of ideas…" Taking a deep breath, he looked down. "Miss Rosa, while I await the results of Ghetsis' attempt to utilize Kyurem's true potential, may I show you something in this laboratory? It is an earlier experiment, in a similar vein… Modeling a pokémon's potential by recreating a biological creature."

"I'd love to," Rosa answered immediately, her voice a far cry from the earlier rage, taking on an innocent cadence. She didn't quite understand what he was trying to explain to her, but she didn't need to. It reminded her strangely of some of their earlier encounters, the way he had asked that and her blind fascination with a subject she understood nothing of, but… something had changed between them. He regarded her with a cautious, almost fearful edge, and the way he had asked her… As if asking for permission…

It took everything in her power to stop from jumping up and down as she realized Dr. Colress didn't know what to do without the prospect of having someone in control of him. Seizing that detail, it dawned on her that the immaturity she had gleaned from his actions over the course of her adventure through Unova was indicative of childish clinginess. She felt almost stupid. Of course he was desperate to have structure, to have someone in power above him, because as much as he declared himself his own person, self-built, unyielding to human emotion, and unworthy of human affection… Ghetsis had stolen every avenue of human contact he'd had from a young age like a black hole, leaving him woefully underdeveloped when it came to emotionally engaging with others. That vulnerable immaturity made him so, so malleable to people like Ghetsis… But now, with Ghetsis likely out of the picture for good…

She licked her lips as she realized how happy she was to fill that role for him. Checkmate, she thought with such a wicked, thrilling shiver of delight up her spine.

It was so, very dark in that cavern. The frigidity of the air penetrated his suit and felt as if it gnawed at his bones, making his extremities numb. But even as he had hopped from Doc's back and started meandering his way deeper into that frosted passage, he ignored it. Taven was not quite thinking in words, or even thinking at all. Upon arriving at the Giant Chasm the prior evening, he had seen the battle underway, the gym leaders, their gyms' pledged trainers, the Elite Four—even what he assumed had to be one of the legendary pokémon—and he had all but frozen up at it. Once again, he had itched to get away, itched to do anything else than get involved with Team Plasma. Despite seeing the war they were waging, he couldn't get Ghetsis' words out of his mind from two years prior, couldn't steel his nerves against the brutal sights, and he… had left the job to them in another fit of mindlessness, just as he had abandoned that girl he had seen aboard the Frigate to them back in Castelia.

Yet, there was no rest for the wicked, and he most certainly felt wicked. After a sleepless previous night, he had felt hauntingly drawn to this cave. Earlier, he had recalled his pokémon to save them from freezing in the bitterness of the air, and maybe… maybe so he could escape their judgment. Truthfully, he didn't think they thought any less of him, or even that they would have had the capacity to think less of him for his cowardice, but their eyes had felt so wolfish lately, hungry, almost, whenever they focused on him for too long… In fact, he hadn't wanted anyone to look at him.

Eventually, the winding, frosted tunnel opened up into a rounded-out, full-fledged cave. It was pitch-black in there, and so Taven absentmindedly went to turn his visor's night vision on, but stopped dead in his tracks as two piercing, yellow eyes materialized before him in the blackness. Suspended in mid-animation, Taven failed to react aside from his breath quickening, even as he heard lumbering footsteps and saw the eyes enlarge as the source drew nearer. Soon, it was in his face, and he could feel its bone-chilling breath against him, bleeding through the material of his visor as if it weren't even there. They remained like that for a few seconds until Taven summoned the courage to turn on the night vision.

A draconic face framed with glacial ice was close enough to touch its nose to his visor. Those haunted amber eyes were ringed with black scales that reflected the color, giving its face a malicious, glinting effect. It heaved with the effort to breathe, a thick, metal harness wrapped about its chest, and its jaw hung slightly ajar, giving Taven a close view of its prominent, sharpened fangs. For a horrible moment, Taven was wracked with a tremor of fear, sure this pokémon would maul him for descending into its lair… Yet, the feeling faded fast when the creature made no move toward him. Time stretched on and it just… stared at him… Swallowing hard, Taven shakily raised a hand to the beast's face.

"Why… why are you wearing that harness?" he hoarsely asked, wincing at hearing his own voice. It felt so far away and different… How long had it been since he last spoke?

The beast backed away then, lurching with every step as if limping, allowing Taven to get a proper look at the cave now that he had the night vision active. His breath hitched as he noticed dark, rusty red streaks scored across the floor, the ice coating the cavern mummifying what he was sure had to have been bloodshed from yesterday's war. Near where the preserved blood patterns seemed to originate from, a silver, steel cane lay, fused to the ground by the ice. Shakily ambling a little closer to it, Taven recognized the Team Plasma insignia emblazoned on a plaque near the top of it, eerily facing up from its frosty tomb. Upon stepping nearer to it, however, the beastly pokémon narrowed its yellow eyes at him and started to growl.

As Taven cautiously turned his attention back to the beast, he took a deep, deep breath. "You're Kyurem, aren't you?" Taven asked quietly. "You're what they were looking for yesterday, in the battle on the ship… I heard them talking about it…"

Kyurem lowered itself to the floor, awkwardly splaying its back legs to allow its chest to meet the ground. It exhaled noisily and blinked at him.

"The way they were talking you up out there… I thought you'd be a lot more aggressive," Taven weakly commented as he made it a point to take big, apparent steps away from the cane lodged in the ice. Carefully eyeing Kyurem, he started inching toward it. At his words, it just blinked again, still staring back at him, and grunted. Its tiny, thin arms scored the ice beneath it, as if trying to make it a little more comfortable. Taven shook his head slowly. "But… you're not being aggressive at all…"

Moving closer and closer, Taven raised a hand shakily, feeling drawn to Kyurem in a way he didn't understand. Kyurem raised its head slightly, and its jaw anxiously clamped shut, structures that looked eerily like half-finished wings on its shoulders flailing as if instinctively trying to fly. At its discomforted reaction, Taven withdrew his hand and shuffled away. Right away, Kyurem relaxed once more, laying back down, watching him.

"You're… afraid…" Taven breathlessly realized aloud, blinking fervently. Was this a dream? It felt like a dream.

Kyurem made a grating, rumbling noise that, at first, Taven thought might have been a threatening growl… but the more he listened, the more weirdly calmed by it he found himself. It was not a warning or a cry of pain, but something akin to a purr…

"You've been in this cave a long time, haven't you…?" Taven asked, deciding to take a seat to ease Kyurem's nerves. He winced at the bite of cold that came with contact with the frozen stone but wanted to earn Kyurem's trust more than he cared to worry about that.

Kyurem lazily tilted its head and rumbled at him some more. Half-closing its eyes, it exhaled a long puff of brisk air. Although he didn't literally hear anything, Taven understood the meaning clear as day: Longer than I could hope to remember. Time… passes differently in this hole than elsewhere. But I am not welcome elsewhere.

"And… you're worried you may no longer be welcome here, either," Taven whispered. "The harness…"

A mournful series of grunts, ones that communicated as clearly to him as Galarish words. I don't remember how or why I was driven here, just that it was long ago, and that I thought I was safe here… The Man Who Controls Shadows locked me in a different hole… His shadows hurt me and drained me of my power…

Glancing back at the cane, Taven frowned. "The Man Who Controls Shadows…?"

The new hole he provided was so bright, and so hot. I thought I might melt… And it made me dizzy with how much it moved… Kyurem scraped its jaw against the frosted floor, beginning to carve a comfortable crevice for itself in the slushy, broken ice. It broke its stare on Taven to eye the ominously preserved cane. But they wouldn't let me leave… And the Man Who Controls Shadows would roar and wave that stick around at others near that hot cave… And later, he had his Shadows fit this to me… Straining to do so, Kyurem lifted its back left leg, and struck out its massive paw to scrape at the black harness. Its jagged claws caught on the metal, then slipped free of it with a sshlick! and a spray of orange sparks. After that… when he waved that stick, I could not control myself… The power I was taught to fear in myself was his…

The Man Who Controls Shadows… The Plasma Frigate… Oh, no… Kyurem means… the Shadow Triad… Shutting his eyes, Taven took a moment to compose himself. Finally, he whispered, "Ghetsis… I'm sure of it…"

The Man Who Controls Shadows was different than you. Kyurem craned its neck again and started to make an effort to rise back to its feet. Its pathetically small arms strained to hold its oversized head from the ground as it struggled to get its thick, rear legs underneath itself. Using its muzzle as leverage, it finally rose back to its full height, breathing faster. With him, I sensed something dark… terrible, foreboding… With you… Kyurem stared him dead in the eyes. I sense nothing.

"You… what?" Taven almost squeaked, the color draining from his face. What… what does that mean…?

Kyurem cocked its head again and started to hobble closer to him. Once close enough, it pressed its glacial muzzle to his visor, tapping the glass. The noise made Taven flinch. What are you? Kyurem seemed to be asking, as its eyes quizzically tried to scan the human underneath. I don't recognize what you are.

Suddenly, his suit felt constricting, like it might have been suffocating him. Taven gasped for breath as if he were only barely managing to hold his head above a turbulent ocean wave, and whispered, "I… don't know what I am, Kyurem…"

Bumping the glass of his visor again, Kyurem made that eerily comforting purr once more. I don't know what I am, either, it seemed to say.

"We've both been in our caves too long," Taven croaked between puffs for air, staggering to his feet. Kyurem watched him closely but didn't backpedal as it had from him before. Shaking his head, Taven mumbled, "We… we need to leave our… caves… before we forget how to…"

Unova does not want me, Kyurem seemed to insist as it shook its head from side to side. They fear me. They fear me for reasons I do not understand, for reasons I never understood.

"They fear me, too," Taven murmured. "Maybe… maybe we don't need Unova to accept us."

Eyes widening curiously, Kyurem chuffed. What do you mean?

"I don't fear you," Taven said through a steeled voice. "I… respect your power… what I have heard you can do. But I know not to always listen to what everyone else says… Maybe a little too well." Taven shuffled his feet and sighed, crossing his arms, thinking back to Burgh in Castelia… He really had been too cruel to him… "Maybe if we can understand one another… We'll both find some peace…"

Kyurem shuffled closer and visibly strained with the effort to drape its heavy head over Taven's shoulder. Pulling him close with its powerful chin, Taven was forced into an awkward kind of hug that forced him to bend down to fit beneath Kyurem's squatted posture, but he wrapped his arms back around the pokémon without a second thought. I'd like that, One Who Seeks Peace, he swore Kyurem purred.

For the first time in his life… Taven felt as if he finally had found a purpose. Swallowing against the scratchiness of his frozen throat, he thought that perhaps there had been a reason he had fled his destiny so many times before, dodging the title of Hero of Truths, wandering aimlessly, taking out his frustration on others for so long… For all his wayward, woeful wandering, he had been drawn back to this specific cavern, to this broken pokémon, as if guided by the stars themselves. "I can't stay here all the time," Taven apologetically whispered. "It's… it's too cold… B-but I'd like to try to get used to it… To visit you and learn more about you…" He paused. "And I can try to get rid of that harness, too…"

Kyurem's makeshift embrace lasted a few seconds longer as its purr became much louder, full of conviction, and pronounced. Reluctantly, it moved away from him, and then clipped its teeth on part of Taven's suit. Perhaps one day I can help free you as well, One Who Seeks Peace.

As comforting as the sentiments Taven felt Kyurem were imparting on him were, he couldn't shake the sensation that only he could truly do that… As if sensing his hesitation, Kyurem nuzzled his shoulder. I did say 'help,' not do it for you, it seemed to be emphasizing.

At long last, he was feeling something. It was in the form of a tidal wave of emotion he couldn't even begin to pick apart, but it was something, nonetheless, and he was just so, so grateful for that. He had felt so robotic and out of control for so long… Taven just wrapped his arms around Kyurem's neck again. "Thank you… Kyurem…" I've been lost for so long… I've been so, so lost… I'm so glad I've found this…

Kyurem leaned into his hold. As am I.

Relieved wasn't even the word to describe how Nate had felt upon learning Hugh was alive and well, safely tucked away in one of the many hospitals working tirelessly in the wake of the battle aboard the Plasma Frigate. In fact, it was the same one he and Hil had taken N to in Lacunosa (it had been the closest). He had wanted to eagerly go visit his friend, to deliriously ramble about how glad he was to still have Hugh in the wake of learning Rosa's true colors, but to his dismay, hospital staff had descended on him and they, along with Hil, insisted he get looked over. Frostbite was a concern, but in the throes of such adrenaline and sheer desperation, they were worried he could have had other injuries he was unaware of.

Due to limited space, he was wheeled to the same room as N in the trauma unit, sterile, white curtains offering the only potential privacy between them, but in the frenzy the staff was in, nobody bothered to shut them. Of course, exhaustion crashed over Nate as the urgency of the situation had faded into relief, and he found it too difficult to try to fight his ruined vocal cords to get anyone's attention to ask them to shut the curtains. Head pressed to that stiff, uncomfortable hospital bedframe (even though it felt like he was relaxing in the lap of luxury after the day he'd had), Nate watched dazedly as staff flocked around N and started to work on him. Hil, clutching the Light Stone Reshiram had curled into before entering the hospital close to his chest (apparently, Hil didn't use a Poké Ball for Reshiram, and he had distractedly said Reshiram reverting to the Light Stone worked just as well, anyway), paced nearby, nipping at his nails and making frantic calls on his Xtransceiver… Nate's hazing mind found it bizarre that he was asking about a church after everything that had happened that day…

Everything abruptly felt like too much, though, and Nate passed out before a doctor even found the time to examine him for traumatic injuries like they said they had wanted to. He was vaguely aware of Zeshi bursting from her Poké Ball unprompted just before he did, but was too far gone to say or do anything as she jumped from his bed and darted over to the foot of N's bed, annoyingly circling the feet of the doctors, yipping like mad.

When he woke up again, Nate figured it had to have been quite some time later… Either very late at night, or very early in the morning, depending on how one wanted to look at it. Blearily blinking, he noted that the curtains had still not been drawn between he and N's rooms, but it was too dark for him to pick out details from the other room… He thought he saw that N was still laying in the other bed, as there was a lump beneath the covers, but he couldn't be sure. All he could hear was the sound of someone crying, and a scratchy, male voice trying to comfort them, the two of them likely seated in the guest chairs in N's half of the room. Nate grunted as he realized Zeshi was curled up on his chest, asleep, but twitching and whimpering lightly as if she were having an unpleasant dream. He thought to wake her, but his attention was drawn by one of the people in N's room speaking.

"I just don't know why nobody listened better, Church," someone whimpered from the other room. Nate furrowed his brow, groggily wondering, Hil…? Groaning slightly, Nate realized he felt slow, almost drugged. Glancing to his right arm, he realized there was an IV embedded in his wrist. That's interesting, he thought musingly, then trained his ears back on Hil's voice. "Why… why I didn't listen better…"

"Hil… you couldn't have ever known he was going to do that. He didn't talk to you about that, how could you have known?" Church's voice returned Hil's dejected questioning soothingly. "Everyone… everyone did the best they could with what they had for him…"

"But they didn't," Hil sobbed. "They didn't, and he's gone, and there wasn't even a good reason for it!"

Their words were painting a frightening picture, and they slowly made his heartrate pick up. Nate jerked his head back to strain his eyes at the bed in the opposing room. They… they aren't talking about N, are they…? he thought in alarm. There was no movement from the bed, none at all… No… no, no, no, we got him out of there in time! He has to be alright! That can't be how that ends! Nate frantically started to look up and down the IV connected to his arm, tiredly trying to piece together how to get up without accidentally wrenching it out of his arm. In his fervor, it didn't quite occur to him to simply call out. All he knew was that he was horrified at the idea of N having died despite all their efforts… despite never realizing that he was not at fault for what had happened… despite never getting the chance to heal as Nate had…

Yet, Church's next words put his worries to rest, making Nate fall limp and exhale loudly in relief. "Hil… Vincent was hurting… Even if what you say Ghetsis said is true, he… he wasn't thinking right…" Right… Okay… So, N's probably fine, he's… probably just asleep or in surgery or something… They're talking about that Vincent guy again… Though, Nate did have to wince, wondering just who this Vincent was that Hil and Ghetsis had droned on about the day before… Context clues told him that it was Hil's father, but… the awful details had been lost on him in his stress. He almost felt guilty for just being so, so thankful it wasn't N they were talking about, since Hil was clearly agonizing over Vince's demise, but after the heartbreaking, heinous interaction he'd seen between him and Ghetsis the day before, he… he didn't think he could have handled learning N hadn't made it…

"That's just the thing! No answer is good enough!" Hil came again, through gasps for breath. "I can say it's because Alder made the Elite Four toughen up and made him think he was garbage, I can say it's because Mom—I mean, Amber—was horrible to him, I can say that for some reason he hated me and just said he loved me a million times in the letter so he didn't feel so guilty, or I can say it's because he thought the crazy man with shadow ninjas was gonna hunt him and me down, it doesn't matter, none of it's good enough! Every answer is so pointless… Had Alder or the Elite Four just made an announcement… Had Amber just left him alone… Hell, maybe if I hadn't existed, if he really did do it because of Ghetsis, he wouldn't have freaked out so bad about it for fear for me, or—"

"Hil," Church cut him off sternly, "that's enough of that… Please, Hil. Listen to me." Church's voice sounded so raw and pained… As he started talking again, Zeshi jerked her head up, jolting awake from her nightmare at last. She blinked deliriously at Nate and he distractedly moved a hand to pet her reassuringly, straining to hear Church. Part of him felt bad for eavesdropping, but another part of him just wanted to know more about Hil, about the man who had saved their lives as well as all of Unova the evening before. "Hil… you're right. No explanation is ever gonna feel good enough. You can't spend your life fixating on that… because you're never gonna feel good about it. You're not supposed to, Hil… he committed suicide. Nothing's gonna ever make that better. But you know what you can feel good about? That you're here. You're here, and you and Reshiram saved us all… You, Reshiram, and even that challenger, Nate." There was a momentary pause and the sound of fabric on fabric, as if Hil and Church were adjusting themselves in their seats. Nate felt an uncomfortable wash of embarrassment at having been brought up in the conversation… even though it felt so, so good to have someone compliment him. "Hil… if I'm understanding everything you told me right… Well, you became the Hero for Unova that Vince wished he always could have been for you. He spent that whole letter droning on about how much he loved you and wished he could have been better for you… Look at everything you've done… He would be so, so proud…"

Nate stroked Zeshi's back harder and gnawed at his lower lip, willing Hil to just accept what Church was saying. It would have been so easy to have felt annoyed with the exchange, to cruelly wish Hil would feel bad over his father since Nate had gotten such a rotten roll on his, but he didn't. There was an achy solace in realizing that Hil's father had been a good person, potentially to a fault, if the context clues from the day before meant anything, and he wanted Hil to remember his father kindly… Nate scratched Zeshi's chin and swallowed hard. He didn't want someone so important, someone that had been so loving, to be a hurtful memory…

I wanted to talk to my mom, Zeshi softly told Nate as she leaned against his pets, but they had to take N to surgery, and they took his Poké Balls for the time being… He said I could talk to her when he's back, though…

"That's good, Zeshi," Nate whispered to her softly. Even you deserve good memories like that… I hope she's as good as you imagined and more…

There was a long, long pause before Hil finally responded to Church through whimpers. "Are… do… do you really b-believe that, Church…?"

"I do…"

Another lengthy pause. "I'm so sorry f-for l-leaving you on… the Frigate… I just… couldn't t-take br-bringing you to Gh-Ghetsis… You… you saw what happened to N… I can't… i-it was b-bad enough on N… But you? I just… I would… I can't…"

"Shh… Hil. It's okay… I think I understand now, anyway…"

"U-understand what…?"

"You," Church laughed uneasily. "Hil… I think I see now that you never were running away from anything, never running away from us… I think I know what Reshiram saw in you. You always knew you were needed… You just didn't know how, and that frustrated you… Of course you didn't find what you wanted to do out there, or two years ago." Church paused to take a shuddery breath, and his voice warbled uncomfortably with emotion as he continued, "I know it was hard, and I know it was confusing… but I think you've finally found all you've been searching for… And I can't stand in the way of that."

Nate exhaustedly leaned his head back down. He felt like he'd been beaten within half an inch of his life, even though he hardly had injuries to show for it, if his lack of bandages were anything to go by… Still, he couldn't help but guiltily listen on to the conversation.

"Church… what… do you mean…?"

"Unova is still enduring the side effects of everything Team Plasma did, Hil… N told us Meloetta was dying because of everyone's hopelessness. I didn't understand what all that meant at first, but… after seeing how out of it everyone was before the attack on the Frigate…" Church heaved a heavy, weary sigh. "You've slain the dragon, but it doesn't change the fact it burned down the kingdom," he explained in a metaphor. "You and N… still have a lot of work to do… that nobody else but you and he can do together."

Hil almost yelped his response, "Church, no, I don't… I don't want N that way, he's traumatized to hell and back, for one thing, and for another, I—"

"I didn't say you did," Church gently interjected. "That's not what I'm getting at. Hil… Unova needs better leaders. Unova needs more than a single Champion and a handful of guardians in the gym leaders and Elite Four. People need hope. People like you, N, Nate, and Hugh can give them that… I love you, Hil. I'll always love you… but I can't justify standing between you and helping Unova…" Church's voice was shivering like a leaf and it sounded like he was crying, now, too. "You almost didn't go through with this because you were afraid of hurting me. I can't take the guilt of thinking I'm holding you back from anything."

"Church… but… I want you…"

Suddenly, he wished he could have tuned the conversation out. It forced him to think back to Rosa and the intimate morning they had shared prior to him encouraging the League to attack the Frigate, and he hated that memory. It was yet another he wished he could scrub from memory, like so many others before it… He hugged Zeshi, then. "Zeshi…" he asked in a small whisper, "Are the Swords of Justice still…?"

They're still with you, she answered as she nuzzled his arms. They were so impressed with you… and Cobalion wanted me to tell you that he wasn't mad that you almost gave up after N got attacked… We could all still sense what was going on, even in the Poké Balls, heh… He said that even he would have had a hard time picking himself up after that…

"I want you too, Hil… but I'm starting to think now isn't the best time for us," Church's voice interrupted him and Zeshi. More rustling of fabric, and Church's voice sounded muffled, as if hugging Hil tightly. "Don't cry… That'll make me cry and I'm already doing that, you turn me into such a mess," Church weakly joked, chuckling sadly. "Hil… I don't mind waiting for you. Unova needs you. N needs you. I can wait, and I will… You will always be my guiding light, no matter what happens, even if we have to take a break for a while…" he softly added, his breath coming fitfully. "I promise… I'll always be there for you. Whenever you're ready. Whenever it's time."

There was some more sobbing from Hil for a few minutes before he finally answered. "Th-thank you, Church… I love you so much… I… think that makes a lot of sense… I w-was thinking about talking to Champion Iris about s-something once N was feeling better… but I was scared I'd have to leave you if I went through with it… and I just don't want you to hate me again…"

Nate felt another pang of achiness in his chest… He hoped that whatever differences Hil and this Church boy had, they could work them out, that Church wouldn't have to wait forever… Not every love story had to end in tragedy… He wanted their memories of intimacy to be good, too…

"Hil… I never hated you. Ever," Church adamantly insisted. "No matter how upset I got, I never hated you… Honestly? I kind of always felt like you were destined for more, if that makes any sense," he laughed hoarsely. "Anyway, I can probably get Champion Iris to talk to you tomorrow… I saw her as we were leaving the Frigate. She isn't that hurt… and I know from my time at the League that, although she's trying way harder than Alder ever did, she'd just rather not be Champion. I'm sure she'd love to talk over options with you."

"That's… that's all just such a relief… Knowing you aren't going to be upset at me for this…" Hil breathed in sharply. "I th-think I know what I need to do…"

"I think you always knew what you needed to do… You just needed the time, and the push to get there."

Still stroking Zeshi's back, Nate fell asleep again before he could hear any more of the conversation.

For clarity's sake, Rosa and Colress' part takes place during the same day as the rest of the Frigate/Giant Chasm stuff, directly after Nate met back up with Hugh and learned about Rosa and then went to face Ghetsis, placing that section as going down while Nate was facing Ghetsis. Taven's part is happening the next morning, after the Giant Chasm stuff's been done gone down, and then Nate's part is actually a little before Taven's, over the course of the night. I know that's a little confusing, I am sorry, there was just SO MUCH THAT HAPPENED in the span of that same twenty four hours and I needed to spread it between a few chapters so trying to keep up the continuity in just the story alone was difficult. I really hope that clears up some thingss and that it wasn't confusing as all hell, I agonized over these chapters to try to make the timeline clear-

anyway Rosa be crazy as hell and shut up Im not crying over Church like the pansy I am, not crying over the character I made, you are