Chapter 23

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa! Right, let's see, then." Melody, River, looked down at her body. "Ooo, it's all going on down there, isn't it?" She reached up and felt her hair. "The hair! Oh, the hair." She ran over to a mirror and looked at herself. "It just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that. Everything changes. Oh, but I love it. I love it! I'm all sort of…mature."

Okay, this was weird. This was not the River they all knew.

She struck a pose and said, "Hello, Benjamin."

The Doctor put a hand over his eyes and then turned to Amy. "Who's Benjamin?" he whispered.

Elise shrugged. It was probably a pop-culture reference. Elise really only understood those from the 70's.

Melody, Elise couldn't call her River yet, clicked her teeth together. "The teeth. The teeth, the teeth!" She spun around to look in the mirror again. "Oh, look at them." Melody turned back to them and pinned the Doctor against Hitler's desk.

Elise hid a laugh. Her father looked so uncomfortable with Melody pressed up against him.

"Watch out, that bow tie. Excuse me, you lot. I need to weigh myself," she said, before running off into a side room.

Amy and Rory leaned up against Hitler's desk. Rory patted the Doctor on the shoulder.

"That's Melody," Amy said.

"It's River Song," Rory corrected her.

"She is not River Song!" Elise snapped, "She is not my River."

Melody popped her head out of the room. "Who's River Song?"

"Spoilers," the Doctor told her.

"Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check." She ran back into the side room.

"Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult?" Rory asked, "I'm getting a sort of banging in my head."

"Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard," Amy told him.

"That's not helping."

The Doctor stood up and started to pace, Amy and Rory following. "This isn't the River Song we know yet. This is her right at the start. Doesn't even know her own name."

"Oh, that's magnificent!" Came Melody's voice. She rejoined them. "I'm going to wear lots of jodhpurs. Well, now, enough of all that. Down to business." She pulled out Hitler's gun.

Elise started to move in front of her father, but he stopped her. "Oh, hello. I thought we were getting married," he said.

Melody walked towards them, the gun trained on the Doctor. "I told you I'm not a wedding person."

"Doctor, what's she doing?" Rory asked.

"What she's programmed to."

"Where'd she get the gun?"

"Hello, Benjamin."

Melody cocked an eyebrow at him, a trait Elise had obviously picked up from her now that the Doctor thought about it. "You noticed." She tried to fire, but all it did was click. The chambers were empty.

"Of course I noticed. As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit."

Melody may not have been River yet, but Elise still loved seeing them go at it. It's what made them so perfect for each other. They were constantly locked in a battle of wits. Melody dropped the gun. "I know you did."

"I know you know."

Melody pulled a banana on him. "Goodness, is killing you going to take all day?"

The Doctor took it from her and flipped it in his hand. "Why? Are you busy?"

"Oh, I'm not complaining." She grabbed a letter opener, but the Doctor grabbed his screwdriver and soniced it out of her hand.

"If you were in a hurry, you could've killed me in the cornfield," he told her.

"We'd only just met. I'm a psychopath. I'm not rude." She grabbed the other gun and tried to fire it, but it just clicked.

The Doctor held up the clip he had taken from it.

"You are not a psychopath," Amy told her, "Why would she be a psychopath?"

Melody dropped the gun as she and the Doctor started to circle each other. "Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor."

"Demons Run. Remember?"

Melody and the Doctor's faces were an inch from each other's.

"This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath."

"I'm all yours, sweetie." She kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Only River Song gets to call me that."

"And who's River Song?"

"An old friend of mine."

"Stupid name." She walked away from him and looked out the window. "Oh, look at that. Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. Now that's my kind of town. Mum, Dad, don't follow me. And, yes, that is a warning."

"No warning for me then?" the Doctor asked.

"No need, my love. The deed is done and so are you."

The Doctor smirked and started to walk towards her before stumbling.

Amy, Rory, and Elise grabbed onto him.

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Amy asked.

"What have you done? River!" the Doctor yelled.

"Oh, River, River, River," Melody moaned, "More than a friend, I think."

"What did you do?" Elise asked her.

"It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor. The man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruelest."

The Doctor touched his lips.

"Kiss, kiss," she said and jumped out the window.

"What's wrong with you? What's she done to you?" Rory asked.

"Poisoned me. But I'm fine. Well, no, I'm dying, but I've got a plan," the Doctor told them.

"What plan?" Amy asked.

"Not dying. See? Fine." The Doctor stumbled to his feet.

"Okay, what do we do? How do we help you?" Rory asked.

"Take this." He handed his screwdriver to Amy. "The TARDIS can home in on it. Now, go. Get after her."

Amy and Rory looked at Elise, who was just barely holding her father up.

"Go. I'll take care of him," Elise told them. She helped the Doctor to the TARDIS.

"Extractor fans on!" he said.

The smoke started to disappear.

"Oh, that works."

Elise helped him the console where he collapsed to his knees. "What do you need me to do?" Elise asked, "Please!"

The Doctor rolled over onto his back. He reached up and touched Elise's face. "There's nothing you can do. I'm shutting down. I need an interface. Voice interface. Come on, emergency."

A hologram of the Doctor appeared. "Voice interface enabled."

"Oh no, no, no, no, no. Give me someone I like."

The interface transformed into a blonde girl and Elise watched as her father's eyes lit up for a second. Who was she? And why did the Doctor have that kind of reaction?

"Oh, thanks. Give me guilt."

The interface transformed into a black woman this time. "Also guilt."

Next was a ginger woman. "More guilt. Ahh! Come on, there must be someone left in the universe I haven't screwed up yet."

The last was little Amelia Pond. "Voice interface enabled."

"Oh. Oh, Amelia Pond, before I got it all wrong. My sweet little Amelia."

"I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface."

"Hey, let's run away and have adventures. Come along, Pond."

"I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface."

"You are so Scottish. How am I doing?"

"Your system has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree. You will be dead in thirty two minutes."

"Okay. So, basically better regenerate, that's what you're saying."

"Regeneration disabled. You will be dead in thirty two minutes."

"What? No! No, that's not fair!" Elise yelled.

"Unless I'm cured, yeah?" the Doctor asked.

"There is no cure. You will be dead in thirty two minutes."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because you will be dead in thirty two minutes."

"But…but there has to be something we can do!" Elise said, "Please!"

"You see? There you go again. Basically skipping thirty one whole minutes when I'm absolutely fine. Scottish, that's all I'm saying," the Doctor said.

"You will be fine for thirty one minutes. You will be dead in thirty two minutes."

"Scotland's never conquered anywhere, you know. Not even a Shetland. River needs me. She's only just beginning. I can't die now."

"You will not die now. You will die in thirty two minutes."

"I'm going out in the first round. Ringing any bells? Ahhh!" The Doctor rolled over on his stomach.

Elise was trying her hardest not to cry, but it was steadily becoming difficult.

"Okay, need something for the pain now. Come on, Amelia. It's me. Please."

"I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface."

Elise had had enough. "Disable voice interface."

The voice interface disappeared.

"No! What are you doing!" the Doctor yelled.

She hauled him to his knees and took his face in her hands. "Listen to me. You're not dying on me, okay? Because if you die, I die. If you go down, I'm going down with you."

"What? No! Why would you do that?"

Elise sniffled and gave him a small smile. "Because it's me and you, no matter what. You matter more to me than anything in the universe. You're my father and I need you."

The Doctor smiled and kissed her forehead. "Okay. Help me up."

Elise helped him up and guided him to the console.

"I need you to fly her," he told her.

"What? But I don't know how!"

"She'll teach you."

Buttons lit up and levers flipped on their own. Okay. She could do this.