Chapter 22, not beta-read.
Enjoy!
Time passed slowly. She knew she would have to wait a while before any of them first showed a sign of life, but refused to go have dinner regardless. Instead, Cul brought her a plate, and she ate in silence, hoping that by some miracle, one of the Vocaloids would wake up early. And hey, even if they wouldn't, she would wait for them, even if she would have to stay awake until morning. Even if she would have to sit there for days on end.
And so she waited.
The books were of little help, honestly, providing nothing more than a temporary and bland distraction. She couldn't get herself out of the present, she couldn't ignore the sound of their breathing, she couldn't stop watching the slow rise and fall of their chests. They lived, they were coming alive, they were being resurrected right there in that room, and all she could do was watch.
Finally, without warning, something happened. To Miku's surprise, it wasn't Meiko, or even Kaito, who woke up first. Instead, Rin shot up as if she had been suffocating, gasping for air, and Len followed a handful of seconds later. Miku immediately rushed to their side, reassuring them as best as she could, but they seemed completely lost in their own minds; their eyes darted around without seeing, they grabbed around but didn't try to figure out what they were touching.
It was scary and violent and completely unlike Miku's awakening.
She called for help, feeling panic rise within her. Lily and Gakupo rushed in, already dressed in sleepwear, but had no idea what to do, either. In the end, they settled on making sure that they couldn't harm themselves, or one another; Gakupo's legs served as a shield between the two, so that their waving arms didn't hit each other, while Lily and Miku did their best at shielding their faces.
Almost as quickly as it had started, Len quieted down, followed by his sister. Instead of slumbering, they stared ahead, creases forming between their brows. Rin even had a grip on Miku's hands, squeezing so tight it almost hurt. They were breathing heavily, and if Miku hadn't known for a fact that their internal components couldn't be heard from the outside, she would have sworn she could hear their parts hum.
As a cherry on top, Rin screamed into a void only she saw, and Miku heard it; anger. They were both angry. They were angry and sad and were trying to swallow the impossibly bitter pill of the years wasted.
They didn't know that they once had regular lives, Miku reminded herself. They didn't remember that emotions were normal, and that they once had personalities and favorite hobbies. Also, she had to remember, they had simply been taken from complete mental isolation straight into life; they didn't have the blessing of Miku's natural-born humanity.
This was a shock. A very painful, sudden shock. And all they knew was ten years' worth of one day.
The memories must have been maddening. Completely maddening.
Len groaned, too, also vocalizing the bitter anger, but in a more restrained way.
When the two had quieted down, Gakupo asked, "What's gotten into them?" Their eyes had drifted closed, but they were far from asleep.
"I'm afraid it would take a while to explain," Miku admitted. "They need time."
"Are the others going to wake up soon?" Lily asked, gently prying Len's hands out of his hair.
"I imagine. They may react similarly, and will want an explanation," the tealette reasoned.
"Yeah, I'd like that…!" hissed Rin.
Miku couldn't help but chuckle in relief. "Rin! How are you?" she asked, suddenly ecstatic.
The blonde breathed deeply a few times. "I feel like shit! I feel like…"
And just like that, she started sobbing. Miku looked to Lily for advice, but Len was already sitting up, curled up around his knees. He didn't seem to be crying, but his breathing was particularly labored.
"You're right," mumbled Gakupo. "They need time."
Lily nodded. "Should we bring them to my room? Like that they can recuperate in a quiet place. And the other Vocaloids can wake up in peace."
"I think that's a good idea," agreed the tealette. "Now that I think about it, we should have brought them to individual rooms to start with."
"It's fine," Gakupo assured her. "It's also good for them to know that they're not alone."
Rin suddenly sat up. "Where's Len?"
Without waiting for an answer, she spotted him and immediately flung towards him, hugging him like her life depended on it.
"Rin, is that you?" asked her brother, still curled into a ball.
"It is!"
Lily made to intervene, but Miku stopped her. "Let them have this."
Len promptly unraveled himself to return the hug, and together the twins cried and growled, desperately trying to cope with everything they had just experienced.
After a couple of minutes, they quieted down without lessening the strength of their embrace, but Miku dared ask if they'd like to go somewhere quiet, hoping to put on a brave front. Truthfully, seeing them react so venomously scared her somewhat.
"Quiet…?" Rin muttered through tears. "I need Len."
"We won't separate you," Gakupo comforted her. "But if you'd like a private space for you two to talk, we can offer you one."
Len mumbled something in agreement, and Rin nodded. Lily and Gakupo helped them to their feet, before they went out the door with wobbly steps, following the blonde to her room. Lily promised she'd watch over the twins, so that Miku could be there when the other Vocaloids would wake up.
When silence returned to the room, Miku let out one long, deep sigh.
She hoped that the other Vocaloids would wake more peacefully, but she doubted it. She was fortunate to have almost a year of independent thinking to soften the blow after nine years of the same. None of the other Vocaloids had that, not even a single day. Surely, they would all wake up angry, confused, sad, or vengeful, and express it in their own ways.
Gakupo let her think, standing next to her quietly. After a moment, he asked, "Would you like me to stay?"
"Yes, please."
He sank to his knees next to the tealette, and joined her in the waiting game.
"Who do you think will be next?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. I didn't expect Rin and Len to be the first."
He thought about it for a minute or two. "They probably had more stability than the others. They weren't alone, and having one person at their side could have helped."
"You think so?"
"Yes. You took quite a few hours to wake up. Seven, eight? The twins only took five. Thirty minutes for every year of routine. I'm guessing you took so much longer because, in the last year, you had so much more to relive and experience."
"You're guessing that the more diverse the life of the Vocaloid, the longer it will take for them to wake up?"
"Probably not diverse in their life, per se. But diverse in their emotions. A day is a day. And if a day looks like every other day, then on an emotional level, that's a quick job. But say that one day, something really exciting happens. That's already more to process. How about trauma? Or a moment of confusion?"
"I see what you mean. Rin and Len must have had painfully monotonous, but reliable, lives."
"And the last to wake will have gone through a bit more than just the daily grind."
"I understand."
Minutes ticked by. At one point, Lily returned; the twins were back downstairs, each with a snack and something to drink, and the company of the other Internet Co members. They seemed to like being surrounded by people, and were already feeling better.
"Galaco is particularly fond of them," Lily said with a small smile. "But we'll wait for everyone before you recap everything."
"Thanks, Lily."
"No problem. No progress here?"
"None," replied Gakupo. "But we'll wait as long as we need to."
"Gotcha. We're all in the living room. Need any help, just holler."
"Isn't it late?" the tealette asked.
"Don't worry about it, Miku. Honestly, I don't think any of us will sleep before everybody wakes up, safe and sound."
"If you insist."
With a comforting thumbs-up, Lily left them, and once again, Miku and Gakupo were left to wait.
She couldn't help but feel thankful for his help, the tealette realized. This man hadn't always been on her side, and a mere week ago, probably considered her nothing more than a piece of property. Despite his initial prejudice, once he was swayed, his generosity seemed boundless. She remembered how Cul had described him, and couldn't help but admit that once-surprising words now rang true. The same went for Gumi, and Galaco as well. Even Kokone seems to have taken a firm stance on her side, even if she continued to ask the painful questions.
All in all, she was grateful for the company she ended up with. Next to her, Gakupo shifted slightly. She thought that maybe the blood flow was hampered in his knees, thanks to the way he sat, and that caused him discomfort. Strange, the things humans could feel. Even with her full range of emotions, there still were clear differences between human and machine. Most of it boiled down to the hardware, of course, but Miku couldn't help but wonder how much more she was missing out on simply by being deprived from such little things.
A thought for later, she told herself. Right then wasn't the right time.
Mere minutes later, Kaito let out a long, deep groan. Gakupo and Miku rushed to his side, but he seemed to be waking in a much calmer fashion. Instead of thrashing and yelling, he merely rubbed his face with his hands, covering the expression of true anger and regret.
Since he seemed calm, Miku decided to speak to him. "How are you?"
He moved his hands so he could look around. "Miku? Is that you?"
"Yes."
He blinked a few times. "Where am I? Where is everyone?"
"You're safe. Everyone is."
His hands drifted downward, hesitating, so Miku gently took one in her own. "How are you feeling?"
The Vocaloid stared at their hands. "What is this? This feeling… I'm confused."
"That's ok," Miku comforted him. "You're not in pain? You can move?"
Kaito freed his hands so that he could sit up, nodding when he felt like everything was in order. Once upright, though, he saw Luka. "Where's Meiko? The twins?"
"Meiko's behind you," replied Gakupo, in a surprisingly quiet voice.
"And the twins are already awake."
"Ah…" Kaito stared at his slumbering friends for a handful of seconds. "What happened?"
"I'm afraid it's a long story. If you want, you can have some time alone to gather your thoughts. Or you can join the twins, with everyone else."
"We'll get you something to eat," suggested Gakupo.
"Eat…" He blinked again, a few times. "That sounds like a really good idea. I'll go for that."
Gakupo helped him up, and let the Vocaloid use him for support, as he seemed to have some trouble walking. Just before Kaito made it through the door, though, he turned around one last time.
"Meiko will be ok, right?" he asked.
The tealette suppressed a smile. "Of course."
He nodded, and left. Miku wasn't alone for long: Lily joined her not a minute later.
"How are the twins?"
"After getting something to eat and getting to meet everyone properly, they seemed to be doing a lot better. They're not exactly ecstatic about anything, but they're lively enough."
"Ah, that's good."
"How was Kaito?"
"He was much calmer than the twins…" Miku sighed. "And he seemed a lot more confused and disoriented. I can understand the twins' anger, but I'm not sure what to make of his reaction."
"Everybody has different coping mechanisms. It would surprise me if everybody reacted in exactly the same way."
"That makes sense."
"Who do you bet will wake up next?"
"Probably Meiko. She and Kaito had a lot of parallels in their schedule, a bit like how Rin and Len were always together. Luka, on the other hand, was alone a lot. A bit more like me."
"Right. I hope they wake up soon."
"As—"
As if on cue, Meiko sat straight up with a gasp. Immediately, her eyes were taking in her surroundings, spotting the empty mattresses, Luka's motionless form, Miku, and a relative stranger. At first, fear fired up in her eyes at the sight of the blonde woman, but instead of panicking, she immediately calmed down.
"You're alright…" she whispered, slumping against the wall. Miku joined her side quickly, but Lily remained in the center of the room, all too aware of the way the brunette had looked at her.
"I'm alright," Miku replied. "How are you?"
"How am I?" Meiko mumbled. "I'm alright? I guess? I feel… This is weird."
"You'll get used to it. Do you need some time alone?"
Meiko shook her head, tensing up as she spoke. "The others. Where are the others? You've been missing for over a week Miku, I was worried sick! Where did everyone go?"
"Kaito, Rin and Len are together, in the living room. You can join them if you want."
"Kaito…" the brunette sighed, relaxing again. "I want to see them. I need to. I want to know that everyone is alright."
"Alright. Lily will take you."
Meiko eyed the blonde. "Lily. And… And the others. You introduced us."
"She and her friends welcomed me while I was missing. They're friends."
"If— If you say so. You're staying?"
"I want to be here when Luka wakes up."
"Ah, right, of course…"
Lily helped the brunette to her feet, but Meiko seemed just fine standing on her own. "You're ok?" the blonde asked, to make sure.
"I'm just a bit confused," Meiko admitted, looking around. "I can't tell where I am."
"Alright. Just hold on to me, we'll get you with the others in a second."
And like that, they were gone.
Miku was alone with Luka.
Luka was the last to wake up.
The tealette sighed, unable to stop this growing sense of sadness from invading her mind. Kaito and Meiko seemed alright enough, as did the twins. And sure, Luka was the last to undergo the operation, but for everyone to wake so quickly?
Maybe she had underestimated the effect of living in pairs. Miku had spent most of her routine alone, and her rest had taken hours. Luka was the only other solitary Vocaloid, whether she liked it or not. It had probably had a major effect on her psyche.
The tealette sat next to the slumbering Vocaloid. It was strange; her friend was completely silent and motionless. Aside from her breathing, she didn't even seem to be sleeping. It was much closer to death than she would have liked.
Miku pushed back tears, and was grateful that nobody had come to replace Lily. She wondered what everybody was doing upstairs. Talking, maybe. The Internet Co group was probably showing the Vocaloid all of the joys of feeling, being alive, and so on. More than likely, Miku would have to warn them of all the unexpected side effects, like the sudden difficulty of falling asleep; it would make feeling much easier for them, especially since it came straight out of nowhere.
Of course, the first thing to do would be to tell the story. What happened, why, when. But could she tell them exactly how it used to be? No, absolutely not. There was no guarantee that they were the same people, so they probably wouldn't grow into the same relationships. It was a painful truth, but a truth nonetheless, so telling them who dated who would probably just create confusion.
It would be best to simply tell that they were once capable of love, and were once again, and let them explore.
She hated it, though. She wanted to be with Luka again, but she was the only one who had seen the past, and knew what it felt like. If Luka were to love someone else… Well, then so be it. Miku would have all of eternity to get over it.
Miku blinked back tears again, a battle she was losing. She had to be there for her friend, when she woke up. This moment wasn't about her. She couldn't be so selfish. She would wait, patiently, with no tears and no complaints.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait too long; merely thirty minutes after Meiko had left, Miku guessed. Luka didn't sit up or groan or yell, though. In fact, Miku almost missed the fact that she had woken up, because the only sign of life the taller Vocaloid gave was her tears.
Luka was crying. Silently, she cried, and silently, Miku watched.
She didn't know what to do: did the pinkette think she was alone? Would speaking scare her? Or was she still somewhat asleep?
Lost and mind racing, Miku decided on putting a hand on Luka's shoulder. The Vocaloid flinched, but didn't pull back.
"Luka?"
Under Miku's watchful eye, the Vocaloid tensed, like a restrained stretch, her eyelids fluttered, and her expression went from neutral to a mix of fearful, confused, and upset. Miku pulled back her hand as Luka opened her eyes, unable to speak while she looked around. There wasn't much to see, though, except for the wall, and Miku sitting right next to her. Inevitably, those eyes fell on the tealette.
"How are you feeling?" she asked for what had to be the fourth or fifth time that day.
Luka let out a deep sigh. Her tears had stopped, but now she just looked confused, her eyes focused on a distant place only she seemed able to see.
"Feeling…" she said airily. "How am I…?"
Miku gulped. "You're not in pain?"
"No."
The confidence of her answer filled the tealette with a much-needed ounce of happiness. "Ah, that's good."
The Vocaloid blinked slowly, and let out another sigh. "What just happened?"
The tealette hesitated, and Luka noticed: her eyes found hers' quickly, and Miku was scared by the alertness in her gaze. "It's— It's something I'd like to explain to everyone at the same time; like that we're all on the same page?" She nearly squirmed at how feeble her tone sounded: she was supposed to be comforting, not pleading. "In any case, everything should be alright from now on. There will be some confusing moments, but I'm here to help you all through it."
Luka didn't reply at first, instead closing her eyes. Just when Miku wondered if she wanted to sleep or be alone, she spoke, her voice low, "You've been gone for a while."
"It's a long story. Don't worry, I'll tell it soon, but right now I just want to make sure you— you're all ok."
"The others are…?"
"They're awake and walking around. They've probably had something to eat as well."
The Vocaloid's eyes opened again. "That sounds nice."
"If you want to join them, we can. But if you need some time alone, we'll understand: the twins needed a bit of downtime."
"No. I'd like to see everyone."
Miku nodded and stood, but realized that maybe Luka wouldn't be able to get up on her own; she hadn't moved.
"Do you need help?"
"No, I don't think so. Just a minute…"
The tealette waited patiently, not quite sure of what to do with her hands all of a sudden. When Luka sat up, she hesitated, and accepted the hand Miku offered to help her up.
"Thank you," she said, her voice still quiet. "Moving is not quite what it was."
"I understand. It'll take a while to get used to."
"You went through this, too?" she asked, taking one step forward towards the door, still holding on to Miku's hand.
"Yes. There will be other surprises, but I'll be happy to help you all get used to it."
Luka nodded, and let go of her hand. "I'm curious to hear why you have thought it wise to put us all through this as well."
"I— There were many reasons."
Luka didn't reply. Together they went out the room, down the hall, towards the living room. Miku expected it to be lively there, but instead, even with ten people in the relatively small space, it was rather quiet. The twins were still somewhat subdued, but chatted with one another enthusiastically, each holding a throw pillow to their chest. Even with their hushed tone, Miku could tell from their sparkling eyes and timid smile that they were already exploring and rediscovering their bond, and it was endearing to see. Meiko and Kaito, on the other hand, were a little more withdrawn, clearly more concerned with getting some answers and sticking together. They were talking with Gakupo, who was surely speaking in that soft voice, as to not startle them too much. Miku was surprised to see them together, at first, but it soon made sense; much like how Rin and Len were inseparable because they had never been separated, Kaito and Meiko were most familiar with each other's presence. The other Internet Co members were quietly discussing in their own corner, not excluding the Vocaloids, but not being overbearing, either. Miku guessed they'd offered drinks, food, and most anything else they could think of to the Vocaloids, and their guests had simply refused.
When Miku and Luka entered the room, Meiko and Kaito immediately noticed; they had probably been waiting for them. Gakupo let them go without complaint.
"Hi guys," Miku greeted them. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better now," Kaito replied for the both of them. "I had some ice cream, Meiko had some water, the twins apparently had some juice and cookies. Gakupo was polite enough to tell us a bit more about who they were, and where we are."
"They're human idols, apparently," Meiko urgently whispered, as if it were some grand secret.
"They are."
"How did you find them?"
"And why are we here?" Luka asked.
"And what happens now?" Rin chirped, joining the conversation.
"Everything feels so different now," Len added. "Thinking is weird."
Kaito nodded. "Are we going home? We were supposed to go to the studio today."
"Not right away. I want you guys to know what happened in the past, first, before we decide on our next step."
"The past? Does that have something to do with why we're here?" Meiko asked.
"And what happened to us?" Luka pitched in.
"It has everything to do with it," Miku tried to sound confident, but surrounded by so much doubt, she couldn't help but question herself. "It will take some time to tell the whole story."
With no warning, a hand confidently grasped her shoulder; it was Lily, and next to her stood Gakupo and Cul.
"Miku's been through a lot for your sakes," said the blonde with that confident smile. "So give her a little bit of credit, and a little bit of time. She'll explain, don't worry."
The other Vocaloids didn't seem to know what to make of the statement: some looked more confused than before, while others seemed to brighten up. "If you say so," Meiko muttered, among the more doubtful ones.
"If it's alright with you, Miku," Cul quickly told her, "We'll leave you to explain everything to your friends."
"We don't want to cause any crosswinds," Gakupo added.
"The kitchen and anything else you'd need to use are all yours," Cul continued.
"Feel free to stay up as long as you need," Lily made sure to add. "I'm sure you all have a lot of catching up to do."
Miku nodded. It would probably be best for the Vocaloids to be among themselves for the time being. "Thanks for all the help, guys."
"No problem, Miku," Gakupo said with a thumbs-up, before one by one, the human hosts left the room, bidding the Vocaloids a good night.
Just like that, Miku was once again with her friends, but unlike the tearful reunion she'd anticipated, she felt like she was being questioned. Come to think of it, this entire day must have been painfully confusing for the Vocaloids. A day just like any other, until the sudden abduction. Their kidnappers then operated on them, one by one, giving them a whole new range of emotions, and an entirely new way of thinking. Suddenly, everything had changed, nothing was the same, and there was no apparent reason for it whatsoever.
The only reason they weren't upset, she mused, was probably because Miku had been there. They knew her, at least to a certain degree. Add the memories of Miku desperately trying to get them to like various things, and it probably made a little bit more sense. She was surely the one who organized it all, they thought. They could depend on her for all the answers.
With a few words, she invited her friends to take a seat. But all seemed to hesitate, and Miku realized that they probably thought that the seating was designated; that's how things were, back at their home.
"It's alright, you can sit anywhere."
Just like that, the twins occupied the couch, and the others occupied some of the various chairs that surrounded the coffee table. Miku sat in Gakupo's favorite armchair, and while she knew that she didn't possess a heart, the fear and apprehension within her made her shake and tremble.
With all of them facing her, though, she realized that all of a sudden, it had become an us-versus-them situation, even if nobody consciously knew it: Miku had done this to them. She owed them an explanation, and if it wasn't good enough, an apology. They stared at her, hungry, maybe even slightly angry, frustrated. What happened to us, Miku? Why did you do this? What's happening next? Could this be undone? Luka's eyes were the most painful to bear; in that moment, the thirst for answers was practically rolling off of her.
Miku, fists grasping the armrests rightly, took one deep breath. She started by saying that she understood their current confusion, apologized for the lack of warning, and that she would answer questions after the tale. Then, slowly and painfully, told everything that had happened ever since she had seen those birds eating something in the garden. She didn't spare details like she had done with the Internet group: she explained how the blueprints for the house had popped up into her mind, how it felt exactly to have emotions swimming between her code and her skull, what it was like for them to manipulate the very frame of her thoughts.
The part when she admitted that she had seen fifty years through Luka's eyes was probably the first part that truly made her hesitate, but Miku was determined: they were going to hear the truth. It didn't help that this was the most important part of the tale. These confusing emotions, this strange number-less and vague way of thinking and processing the world, these were once the norm. They hadn't even questioned it. And it all got taken away, because the Vocaloids wanted to be a little too close to human for comfort: they wanted the right to love.
Enter the explanation of who and what Crypton truly was: they owned them, made money from the music they sang, and most importantly, didn't want to relinquish their control over the Vocaloids. This included a brief explanation of the laws around AIs, but she promised that Gakupo would have all of the important information regarding that: she didn't want to tell falsehoods to them at that point.
The truth was that the routine that was their norm was actually a curse, a hollow husk of what life once was, what could have been. Miku returned to the story, recounting how she had reacted to this discovery, and the birth of her new goal; she needed to save them all. Luckily, the Vocaloids remembered her attempts to coax their souls back to the surface, so she didn't need to explain that part in detail. Then came the second most painful part, namely when Luka found her crying in her room.
The tealette fought the blush she could feel creep up to her ears. She didn't go into detail there, merely telling that Luka had found her, and Miku expressed her heartbreak at the terrible situation. She had to tell this story; the consequences it brought were too significant. Only two days later, Miku was escorted to Master, for Luka had voiced her own concerns about Miku to him. The tealette told with a strained voice about the botched attempt at operating her, her race through the city, and how she had landed in the Internet Co household. Finally, she shared a few details about her days with the humans, how they had found about the bug inside them all and how to remove it, and the consequences.
"Now, who you are and what you think are totally unrestrained: there's no filter censoring your personality, your desires, or your feelings. Aside from simply getting used to the new way of thinking and moving, you're definitely going to encounter a few surprises from now on," Miku explained. "There are no prompts or alerts any more; warnings will be announced through feelings and emotions, and it takes a while to figure out how to interpret it all."
She explained the most important differences she could remember off the top of her head before moving on to how the Vocaloids ended up there, with a hastily organized kidnapping. From then on, there was no news to tell.
"I think that's it," Miku said, heart heavy. "If you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer them."
A heavy silence hung in the room. The Vocaloids had gone from staring straight at her to staring at their hands, their feet, at the ground on front of them, lost in their thoughts, in the new information they had learned.
"So, this way of thinking," Kaito started, his voice hesitant. "This vague, incomprehensible mush that's constantly floating in my skull… This was how we once thought?"
"Yes."
"Did— Did we start out like this?"
"I don't know," Miku confessed. "It's possible that we grew to think like that, or that we were taught."
"And just because we started acting like True AIs, Master took that away from us," Meiko summed up.
"That's right."
Kaito spoke again. "But why did you have to give it back to us?"
"What do you mean?"
The man was more than confused, Miku realized. He was irritated, even a bit upset. He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, wringing them together before grabbing the seat of the chair, the legs, before fiddling with his sleeves. His eyes were downcast, but intense, while his lips were twisted into a restrained scowl. "Things were ok, before. Things were easy, before! Now I can't seem to know anything for sure, I'm in a place that I don't know, dependent on strangers, and why? Because it happened to you? Why did we need this? We— We were ok."
Miku felt more than saw the five pairs of eyes lock back onto her when Kaito was done with his questions. "I— It pained me to remember you as you were, to know that you were all so full of potential, so full of life, but to live life as a statue. I figured you all deserved freedom. Asking you beforehand was out of the question: you remember how you acted, before!"
Kaito grumbled, before saying, his voice tense, "We may have been fish in a fishbowl, but what else did we need? We had each other, we could move, we were fed, we were safe… Why throw us back out into the ocean, where is dark, and dangerous, and nothing, not even happiness, is guaranteed?"
"We still have each other, but now, you have the luxury of choice! Granted, it won't always be easy, but now you may decide to travel the depths of the sea or the coral reefs. You may eat what you like, wear what you like, and, probably the most importantly… You may say what you like." Miku gave him a warm, somewhat bittersweet smile. "What you just said, Kaito, was extremely poetic, comparing to how you once spoke. That— That wasn't something you could have said, before."
He paused, startled. "Really?"
"Really. Things may be new, and somewhat scary, but that doesn't mean everything out there will be a threat, or even a challenge. These new things, these new ways of speaking, of being, they will come to you naturally. Everything else, well, is up to you to explore. You don't have to engage in new friendships, you don't have to try new food, you don't have to try to create… But you can. If you want."
"But what if we want to go back to how things were before?" Meiko timidly asked.
Miku's smile fell. "I think it would be possible," she admitted. "I don't think Gumi threw out the parts. If you really want, they could probably be reinstalled, reactivated."
The news caused somewhat of a stir in the group. Rin and Len eyed one another, and Kaito let out another incomprehensible grumble.
"It would be unfair to Miku if we were to take that decision so quickly," Luka suddenly said. "Maybe we ought to give it a day."
Hearing her support her was almost enough to make the tealette weep. "Yes. But… Please, be aware that there will be an exam in a few days: they will decide if we are True or Limited AIs. Should you decide to go back, it's most likely that you'll be handed over to Crypton. Once that happens, your future is forfeit, and whoever decides to go will probably never again see those who have decided to stay. Nor will they have the ability to care."
Another moment of unrest passed.
"So… What do we do now?" Rin asked. "Say we stay here, like this life enough, and pass that exam. Then what?"
"Legally, you'd be an adult human. You could do anything any adult could. If you'd really want, you could go back to Crypton, but they'd have to pay you a wage. But you could also travel, or stay here."
Len cocked his head to the side, slightly. "Do you have a plan, Miku?"
"No. I— I don't. Not yet."
"How come? You had so much time to think about it," Rin pointed out.
"To be honest, up until this very day, I was more preoccupied with rescuing you, and making sure you were safe. I was my own last priority."
"Oh. Well… What do you want to do?"
Miku shrugged. "Maybe I'd like to start my own singing career, independently. But right now? I'd like some quiet. I might stay here a while."
"Are our hosts trustworthy?" Luka said, her voice still even. Not once throughout the evening had she displayed any kind of emotion, except for vague unease when Miku said it would be possible to be turned back.
"They are. Kokone might sometimes say something or ask something that might hurt to talk about, but otherwise I trust them all."
"Are you sure?" Meiko insisted.
Instead of pointlessly insisting, Miku decided to quickly tell them a few words about each Internet Co member, starting with Gakupo's initial hostility towards her cause and how he changed his position when he learned more about AIs, before going to Gumi and her frightening opinion of their sentience before she realized that their minds were beyond comprehension. This lead her to Lily, and their relationship, then to Cul the cook, Galaco the fan, and Kokone the indecipherable.
"They're all good people, at heart," Miku finished up. "Different things motivate them all, but they're kind, generous, and thoughtful. If you have a question, it's more than likely that they'd love to help out and answer you."
The group seemed to accept the answer, but Meiko had yet another question. "This relationship that Lily and Gumi have… They're in love?"
"Yes. It's the same love we've all been made to sing over and over again."
"Is it the same love that made Crypton change us?" Luka asked.
Miku forced herself to answer without hesitation or catching or stuttering. "In part. We also expressed familial love, friendship. We simply cared for one another. Now that we're free, we can express what we wish, however we wish."
"That's nice," Kaito said with a sigh.
Silence returned to the room. Once Rin started fidgeting, Miku stood. "It's really late right now, and we've all had a busy day, to say the least. It would probably be a good idea to get some rest."
"You're right," Kaito said as he stood. "I feel…heavy."
"You're probably tired. Tomorrow morning we'll all have breakfast, and if you have more questions, I'll be happy to answer them."
"Very well."
The whole group stood and followed the tealette back to the guest room, but Miku didn't enter the room with them.
"You're not sleeping here?" Luka asked her.
She shook her head. "It would probably be a good idea if I gave you all some space," she admitted. "I'm aware that I'm a little bit of the black sheep, being a few steps ahead of you all. You should be able to share your concerns with each other without me monitoring you all the time."
"You sure?" Meiko asked from within the room. "Do you have someplace to rest, at least?"
"I'm staying in Gumi's room for the time being. Gumi is with Lily."
"Ah, ok."
Luka also accepted the answer, and went back to her bed. The Vocaloids started arranging their blankets and pillows and seemed to get settled rather quickly, probably eager to get some rest. They didn't even seem concerned with getting changed into proper sleepwear: aside from removing belts and other metallic bits, they didn't waste any more time. Just as Miku was about to wish them a good night and close the door, Kaito called out to her.
"Are you alright?" she asked.
"I suppose," he mumbled, his voice somewhat obscured by the blankets. "Can you explain how we'll fall asleep, again? I'm not sure I got it."
"Yeah," Len pitched in. "It sounds hard."
Miku chuckled. "It'll happen. You're tired, right?"
"Yes," Kaito replied.
"Then it won't be a problem. Just breathe, relax, and it'll come naturally."
"Ok."
"Any other questions?"
"Just one," he said after a brief pause. "I get that all this took a lot of effort and time. But, if we decide that we do want to go back to Crypton, back to the way it was… Would you hate us?"
"No. I think I'd be disappointed. But I won't hate you."
He seemed surprised by her answer, and laughed awkwardly. "I'm sorry. It's just… I can't make sense of my mind. I can't read my thoughts! They just drift and float and they're all so heavy with emotion. I don't understand how this was normal for us."
"It will take some getting used to," Miku tried to reassure him. "But I'd really like it if you gave this new life a try. You can always chose to abandon it later, but you won't be able to pick it up again if you do."
He nodded. "Right."
"And if you find that the emotions are keeping you awake, just focus on your breathing. Inhale, slowly, exhale slowly, and let yourself, and your mind, relax. Try not to focus on anything."
"Right…"
Miku moved to leave again, but another question came from the room. "Is it worth it?"
"Excuse me?"
Meiko turned towards her. "Are these emotions worth it?"
"They are. They really are."
When nobody else had a question, and everybody seemed to be properly tucked in, comfortably nestled into their blankets and pillows, Miku spared one last glance at Luka, who had her back turned to her.
Suppressing one last, heavy sigh, Miku closed the door, and let them be.
She was exhausted.