"What is this about ambassadors and weddings?" Éowyn looked keenly at Faramir, smiling at his frown. They were nearly to the Steward's House.
"Imrahil thinks the best time for us to wed is just after we escort Théoden King back to Rohan," Faramir could feel a little color come into his cheeks, of course he wanted to marry Éowyn that soon, "But of course… if that is disrespectful, I would never want to suggest…"
Éowyn laughed and placed a kiss upon his lips, "Rohan and Gondor have different ways of mourning. In Rohan, marrying then would be perfect. It would be a celebration of life and love to honor Théoden's memory. I will ask my brother tonight at Imrahil's party."
"To be married to you so soon min elskede," Faramir pulled Éowyn in closer for another kiss.
"Before you get your hopes up, let me talk to Éomer. And you should talk to Aragorn," Éowyn looked at him, and he could feel her hope as keenly as his own. "Now what is this about ambassadors?"
"A brilliant idea from my uncle. Having one familiar with Gondor stay in Rohan's court to speak for Gondor, and vice versa," Faramir replied, "Imrahil asked to become ambassador of Gondor in Rohan, and we both think to ask you if you would be willing to take the role of ambassador of Rohan in Gondor."
Faramir could see both amusement and thought in his beloved's eyes. Clearly she understood why Imrahil wanted a foothold in Rohan. Faramir wondered if she also understood why they both thought she was perfect for such a matching role in Gondor.
"I think Éomer would agree," Éowyn replied, a smile just cracking the edges of her face, "As for Aragorn…"
"King Elessar would agree to your appointment min elskede, because you are perfect for such a role. I daresay you know as much about Rohan and its people as Éomer… perhaps more," Faramir kissed Éowyn again, "I do not think you need it, but I would go so far as to become insolent with the King if he disagreed."
At this, Éowyn laughed, "Faramir, I nearly want him to refuse me to see what you consider being insolent!"
Faramir smiled in spite of himself. Éowyn, not only his in marriage but his advisor for the rest of his life. It was almost too much to wish for. Faramir thought of the previous night, just listening to her deep breathing as she slept. He had barely moved for fear of waking her, so still she was. Faramir's task of staying awake that night was easier than it had ever been in Ithilien, if just to look upon the woman he loved. He would stay awake for her the rest of his life if it allowed her to sleep nightmare-free. The first glints of twilight had never felt bittersweet to him before, but there he was, finally having to leave her. He'd jotted the note about breakfast in anticipation of feeling her absence. When he got back to the Steward's House, he had taken a bath. Those hours of wakefulness were almost as relaxing as trying to sleep, as slumber would only bring more fire dreams. He already hoped to see Éowyn's candle again tonight, and knew he would be lighting one himself.
Faramir also found he could not stop thinking about Aragorn's palantír. The mild nausea that always accompanied his notice of the faint orange light in the white tower was upon him again. It was bringing the flames closer to his conscious thoughts, and threatened to overtake him before he could swallow them down. He wondered if Éowyn could ever know how much she meant to him, because he could always see her through the black mists. The day she stormed into his life was the day his life changed.
"I want to marry you in Rohan." Faramir's statement took Éowyn by surprise, as she studied him, a look of concern crossed her face.
"Tell me your sorrows, min elskede," Éowyn put her hand to his cheek, and they walked through his door, "Tell me in the garden."
Faramir sighed. There was so much to tell her. He did not know where to start, only that he needed to stop hesitating telling her when he was in pain.
"So many things min elskede. You know I have been dreaming of fire," Faramir held her tightly, willing away the images in his head, "I watched my father waste away from that palantír. I watched it consume him. When I spoke with Beregond about those last moments, I know that he was driven into his madness by looking into that accursed stone one last time. It was the time that broke him, the time that he decided ending my life in fire was a more merciful way to end me than to let me live and fight. I hope they bury it with him."
Faramir could feel the trembling start. Éowyn guided him to the small patch of grass in the garden, where, to his surprise, there was a blanket. They both sat.
"Lay your head on my lap min elskede, and keep telling me your sorrows," Éowyn said, her voice gentle as a lullaby. Faramir obeyed. Her thighs were soft against his head, and her fingers began to stroke his brow softly. He could feel her love pass through her fingers and into him, willing him to tell her more, to tell her all.
"What happens if I say yes and stay Steward? What happens if Aragorn starts losing his mind to the stone like my father did? What do I do? Challenge my own King? I am terrified that by staying, I seal my fate to either become my father, or to watch another become my father," Faramir heard the words pour out of him, many of which he was admitting for the first time, "I lived my life under the shadow. Not only the one in the east, but the one that gained a foothold in my father's mind. The one that I could see flickers of in my own brother's eyes. We may have guarded Middle Earth against Sauron, but that darkness found a way into our hearts. What do I do if it never truly leaves me? What if those same flares of madness come over me? What if they come over Aragorn and I must harm my King to save my people?"
Faramir could feel the tears threatening to escape. The fear of this wretched fate finally willing its way into his conscious mind. Éowyn's fingers continued to stroke his brow, and it soothed him.
"Then we will mutiny together," Éowyn looked down at him, love and assurance in her eyes, "Both Imrahil and Aragorn are right min elskede, you are an extraordinary Steward. But that does not mean that you should be caged to that fate if it seeks to unmake you. I swear on my life that I will never let them put you in a cage."
Faramir could feel the tears in his eyes now. Éowyn's words were truth, he knew she would never let one she loved be caged. It made him feel safe, knowing that he had her will, and that she was not pushing him toward the Stewardship if he did not want it.
"Éowyn?" Faramir's voice was low, "Boromir tried to take the ring from Frodo."
"And you did not," Éowyn replied, seemingly unphased by his admission, "You are not Boromir min elskede. You are not your father. And I will keep throwing furniture from windows until everything around you reminds you that you are a man driven by hope and love, not by desperation and pride."
Éowyn leaned over and kissed Faramir. Not a kiss that was full of longing, but one that cleansed. Faramir did not want her kiss to stop, so good it felt, but the shadows of his mind were not retreating fast enough.
"What if I say no?" Faramir asked.
"Then I shall marry you in Rohan, and we will move to Ithilien together," Éowyn smiled at him, "And we will be happy."
"What if I say yes?"
"Then I will marry you in Rohan, and we will move to Ithilien together," Éowyn leaned in for another kiss, "And we will be happy."
Faramir puzzled at her certainty.
"I am not sure that I could be Steward and live in Ithilien," Faramir replied.
"Why not? Ithilien is less than a day's ride, and once I have my say over the horses we shall breed, it will be shorter still," Éowyn stroked his face. He loved when she did that, "You can claim fair Ithilien whether you are Steward or not."
Faramir smiled. How was she so sure?
"What if Aragorn demands I stay in the city as Steward?" Faramir had been worried it would come to this, it felt wonderful sharing it with her.
"Then tell him that a condition upon your being Steward is living in Ithilien," Éowyn said it matter-of-factly, as if negotiating with his King was acceptable.
"I fear that is my definition of insolent!" Faramir smiled
"Then you must change your definition!" Éowyn laughed, "Insolent is wearing a spoon on your nose when the King comes to call. Not asking for that which is your heart's deepest desire, and something that you deserve more than most."
Faramir couldn't resist, he pushed himself up and stole a wet and delicious kiss from his beloved. He reveled in it as he used his tongue to taste her mouth. He then pulled his head back and returned to resting it on her thigh. Just thinking of where he was... he was certain he'd give up eternal bliss for these moments with her.
"I have my heart's deepest desire," Faramir's face was twisted into a grin, "Now I just need to marry you."
Éowyn laughed, "Another demand to become Steward then. A prompt Rohirric wedding and a seat in Ithilien."
"Emyn Arnen. That was the seat of the House of Húrin. I want to make it whole again," Faramir looked into the deep blue eyes of his beloved, "If I were to get all of my heart's greatest desires, it would be settling there and restoring its high place. With you."
"Do you want to be Steward?" Éowyn's eyes were thoughtful as she asked.
"I… don't know. I don't yet know who King Elessar is. I like Aragorn the man, I can't help it. But… what if…" Faramir paused.
"He becomes like your father…" Éowyn finished his thought.
"Yes…" Faramir whispered.
"Perhaps the curse of our mixed emotions is then a blessing," Éowyn was gazing beyond Faramir, deep in contemplation, "If the connection between us never goes away, we will feel his madness. And together, we can plan how to fight it, even if we must fight him."
Faramir sat up, looking intently into Éowyn's eyes. She was serious.
"Take back the throne by force Éowyn?" Faramir could feel a pit in his stomach forming, worried that was where she was going.
"No. I think you needs must be completely honest with him. He needs to know your concern. Do you not think that he saw that faint light in the tower in your shadows min elskede?" Éowyn replied, "And tell him ever will we be watching for that madness. And that we will confront him if there is even a shadow of a suspicion. I threw a chair out a window, so too can I throw a stone from a great height."
Faramir wanted to pull her to him and ask her to marry him all over again. It was the revelation he needed. There was no other who could stop the King should he surrender to the madness of the stone. There were no others, save for Merry and Éowyn, who would be able to feel a creeping madness if it started to overtake the King.
"I need to be Steward, don't I?" Faramir finished his own thought, but he wanted to know if Éowyn had reached a similar conclusion.
"You do not need to be anything you do not want to be," Éowyn replied, "But I fear you and I are of the same opinion. Your Stewardship and the power of your connection to the King is a safeguard for your people… and for your King. You are one of only three who may be able to sense the stone overpowering the man, and the only one who has intimate knowledge of a man whom the stone turned to madness."
Faramir nodded, "It appears I have a fraught conversation coming my way."
"I might suggest that I also take part in this conversation. Aragorn has strength enough to face us both," Éowyn replied, "Because I too will be keeping watch, to protect both of you."
"I love you," Faramir said, "More than I thought it was possible to love."
"Then we shall use our wills to cow our Kings into allowing us to marry in Rohan," Éowyn smiled, "If only because then I will know the number of days I must count until we get to share our bed."
Éowyn's bold words made images of them flash through Faramir's mind; images and desire that were unhelped by the current resting place of his head. To get to explore her body and touch her skin, to kiss all of her. To make love to her and to feel that sacred bliss… even when he woke up from the most intense fire dream, thinking about the revelries of that night could stay his mind and bring him back from the shadow. Éowyn seemed to be following his thoughts, as a sly smile appeared on her face.
"Now min elskede, it is time for me to return to you what you gave to me last night," Éowyn began stroking Faramir's forehead again, "You have done enough work that the rest can wait until tomorrow. My shift at the House of Healing is over and I have brought my reading with me. Your staff will leave us be, so it is time for you to close your eyes and let yourself sleep. I will be here with you, and as you stood guard over me, so I will for you. Now, rest."
Faramir almost bolted up, but he could feel Éowyn's hand on his chest, gently resisting his urge to do so. He realized the blanket had been placed on her instruction, that she had planned this. He loved her even more. He stopped fighting with himself, and beamed up at his future wife. She was perfect.
"I surrender," Faramir looked into her eyes, "please tell me about your time in the House of Healing. And I will close my eyes."
"I met Frodo Baggins," Éowyn started, her voice steady as if she were singing a lullaby with her story, "He is now awake and as thoughtful as any I've ever seen. He loved the hot chocolate. Merry and Pippin and Sam were telling tales of the Shire, specifically of the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Frodo's uncle…"
Each of Éowyn's words was more soothing than the last, and try as he did to stay awake to hear every sweet wonderful syllable come out of her mouth, sleep was winning. Éowyn's gentle caresses to his forehead were like warm kisses his mother used to place on him as a baby. Finally, Faramir gave in, and drifted away, thinking upon seas of grass and cozy holes, of ponds and water lilies and Shirefolk.
When Faramir reopened his eyes, he felt refreshed. The sunlight of the afternoon had faded into the soft light of early evening. Éowyn was there, a book in her hand. He felt her hands on his jaw the moment he had stirred.
"...How long?.." Faramir rubbed sleep from his eye, and noted his voice was raspy from his slumber.
"Five hours," Éowyn beamed, "And only once did you fret. It took but a gentle stroke of your brow and you settled again. Did you have fire dreams min elskede?"
"No," the revelation hit him, no, he had not had the fire dream, "Did I really sleep five hours?"
"Yes," Éowyn was trying to hide the bright smile, but it twinkled in her eyes.
"I have not slept… like that in… years," Faramir marveled at her, "Only when I was so exhausted waking and sleep were the same, and not even then."
"I suspect we may have a new routine," Éowyn leaned down and kissed Faramir's brow.
"My watch over your window I fear now has a new purpose," Faramir smiled up at Éowyn.
"I fear you will rarely look upon my window and not see a candle in it," Éowyn replied.
"Nor mine," Faramir leaned up and kissed Éowyn again; a fiancée beyond all blessings of the Valar.
"So tonight. I convince Éomer. And we both convince Aragorn," a flicker of mischief played in Éowyn's eyes, "A wedding in Rohan, and an understanding of exactly what accepting the Stewardship entails."
"And, do not forget that we must appoint the most talented ambassador for Rohan we could hope for," Faramir grinned, "One who is not afraid to speak her mind, whether it be furniture she knows hurts her beloved, or laughter in the face of Fear."
Éowyn smiled, "I think upon those desperate days. When the thought of dying seemed the sweetest form of escape."
Éowyn then leaned in and kissed Faramir with so much fire he lost his breath.
"Never could I have imagined I would have found you." Éowyn's words pierced Faramir's heart.
There would never be a day in his life he did not thank the Valar to be in her presence. To feel her love. To know that he did for her what she did for him. Imrahil had been right, delaying their marriage was not simply denying himself something he longed for, it was also denying Éowyn her happiness. For the first time in a long time, Faramir had found sleep, and for the first time in nearly a lifetime, Faramir was going to demand all that he wanted.