Unburden Your Heart of Its Lies

The Northuldra were hard at work on their village, moving back into it at a steady and diligent pace. "Well, we did it," Anna proudly said to Thord and Kristoff, hands on her hips. "We got them back safe and sound."

"Not that there was much for danger on the way," Thord wryly said. "Carabis was gone. There was precious little else to worry about. We didn't leave at a time when the Fair Folk or Jotun were active, so there was no concern over them either."

Anna conceded to that and looked around with a fond smile at the bustle of activity going on around them as the Northuldra settled into their homes once more. She looked towards the forest and gasped in relief. "There's Elsa!" she exclaimed, pointing to a sleigh racing towards them through the trees. She hurried to greet her sister and the Ice Maiden. Elsa disembarked nimbly, hopping out while it was still moving and hugging Anna. The Ice Maiden reigned the sleigh in. Thord watched her silently. She turned her head towards him and met his eyes. He gasped and looked quickly away in an uneasy manner. He didn't want to scare her off. He felt her eyes on him, though, and glanced up again against his better judgement. She was observing him intently. He shifted. He'd never liked feeling scrutinized. How much of his father did she see when she looked at him, he wondered solemnly? The thought caused him to bow his head in something akin to shame.

Elsa approached him with Anna, touching his shoulder gently. He looked at her. She smiled and hugged him. He let out a breath, returning the embrace. She drew back, keeping her hands on his shoulders. "Everything will be okay," she said. They both knew she was speaking about him and the Ice Maiden. He had his doubts, but nodded nonetheless to pacify her. She looked to Anna then. "We're free to return to Arendelle. The danger is gone," she said. Gerda approached with baby Kay, then, and all of Elsa's attention diverted to the babe. She took him gently from Gerda's arms with a wide grin, soft and loving, and cradled him close. "Daddy's going to be okay," she said, tapping his little nose gently. "We're going to go… to Arendelle, now," she said. It wasn't missed by the others how she hadn't called Arendelle 'home'. She missed this place, Anna knew. So much… Elsa hated that she couldn't stay, but she hated the thought of leaving Hans more. Her sister busily played with baby Kay, tickling his little tummy with her fingernail.

"I'll take the Duke and some of the others, and we'll start to get the boat ready," Anna agreed determinedly. She turned to Thord. "Are you…?" she began. She trailed off on seeing him flirting with Honeymaren, treating her to his winning grin. She was playing coy, but was clearly involved in the game. Thord seemed to feel their gazes on him and looked up like he'd been caught in the middle of a theft.

"Yes?" he said.

"I'm sorry, did you want to stay here?" Anna asked, an amused and wicked smile spreading across her lips. He blinked, flushing.

"You know, I'm looking for a vassal to take care of the forest and the Northuldra until I can return to them. Might be a few years, and I don't want to leave them out in the cold for so long, so you know, the sooner I get someone the better," Elsa said, smirking at him. He was quiet. "I'll leave you Mattias. Not so sure he's inclined to leave either. At least not for a while." Mattias, hearing his name, looked quickly away from a smiling Yelana and turned to them curiously. He seemed to realize what they were talking about and flushed a bit, awkwardly clearing his throat and glancing almost shyly at the Northuldra leader who played oblivious but clearly wasn't.

Thord shifted. "I mean, if you're desperate. But Elsa, I'm not so sure I'm qualified for that," he said.

"You wanted Arendelle, didn't you? You can't have it, but maybe you can come to terms with the guardianship of a fraction of it?" Elsa said.

Silence. "I can try," he finally answered.

She smiled. "Arendelle isn't far. Stop by and visit, whenever you feel the need to," she said.

"Charades every Saturday," Anna added, grinning at him.

Silence. "Yeah… I guess I can try to do that," Thord said. "Just… if you need me, don't be afraid to send for me, okay?"

"Gale will be more than happy to oblige," Anna said. "At least, he was a good sport doing it for me and Elsa." Her smile fell to a bit of a frown. "Guess we know why now," she quietly added.

"Let it go," Thord said.

"Let it go," Elsa repeated, smiling ruefully. "Sometimes letting go can make things a lot better for you, and easier on your mental health."

"Exactly. Probably not the meaning you intended when you coined it, but hey, works this way too," Thord said.

"Not sure I coined it per se, if it was a staple in your dialogue as well," she replied, grinning a bit.

"We should leave, Elsa. Time is wasting," the Duke said.

"Yes. Of course," Elsa said. She turned to Thord, shifted, then went to him with Anna. The two hugged him close for a long moment before he finally, tentatively, returned their embrace and let out a breath, closing his eyes. Eventually they parted, smiling tenderly at him. He felt himself smile tenderly back.

"We'll see you soon?" Anna said.

"Of course," he answered. "Charades every Saturday," he teased.

"Before we go, I want to say goodbye to Ahtohallan," Elsa said, looking back in its direction. They had to go there to get the boats anyway. Well, to the Dark Sea at least.

"We know," Anna replied with a tired smile.

"And I have matters of my own to tend to here," Thord murmured, looking towards the woman who was his mother with a level of exhaustion in his eyes.

"Everything will be okay," Anna reassured again. He sighed. He hoped she was right.

Frozen

After Elsa and Anna had left with all their entourage, Thord looked towards the Ice Maiden again who hadn't moved or looked at him since arriving. She hadn't left either… He dared believe that maybe that was because of him. He took a breath and started towards her cautiously. Her gaze flickered warningly in his direction. He didn't come closer than he needed to be, for her to hear him. It left a long distance between them, but not massive. Silence hung between them. "I…" Thord began before trailing off. He didn't know what to say or do… "Thank you," he finally chose to say. "For saving me in Ahtohallan." She was silent, looking him warily over. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "I'm… going to go out on a limb and guess I look like…" He trailed off. "Anyway, I know I don't look much like you." Her jaw twitched slightly. He shifted. "Sorry," he said, bowing his head. Silence hung between them. "Were you the one that caused the ice to shatter?" he finally blurted, looking up again.

"Yes," she answered finally. Bitterly.

"Because you… because you wanted me dead…" he said.

"I wanted you to stop searching for answers you had no right to," she replied.

"I had stopped!" he argued.

"You had, but your heart had not," she replied. "Eventually, you would have looked again… You were never supposed to find me…"

He wasn't meeting her eyes now, instead looking miserably off to the side at nothing. "I'm sorry," he said again, no longer sure what he was apologizing for. Maybe for being alive… "I… I know you didn't want me… I was wrong to try and find you…"

"Yes. You were," she replied. She looked away from him, finally, off to the other side. "As I was wrong to assume you would be like your father." Thord glanced curiously at her. Carefully. "I watched you in Ahtohallan... I watched you cry out for me to warn me. I watched you try and protect me knowing you couldn't but still wanting so badly to. You may not share my appearance, but you share my traits. Some of them, at least… Perhaps most…" Silence reigned again. "I confess I am somewhat… unburdened. To see what became of you at last. But it will never be more than this. It can't be." She wasn't sure she could ever cope with such a thing.

Thord was quiet, looking down now. He didn't want to agree to that… He wanted to know her, he wanted her to know him. He wanted her to be there… But he understood why that probably would never happen. "I know," he finally chose to reply quietly. Defeatedly. He wasn't supposed to exist in the first place…

"Good," she answered. When he looked up, she was gone, and he felt so very hollow and empty… He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked back. Honeymaren, giving him a sympathetic look then offering a reassuring smile. He let out a breath, covering her hand with his own and looking back at where the Ice Maiden had been. A horse whinnied from a distance away and he and Honeymaren turned quickly with gasps. There, riding towards them sitting tall, was Hans on Sitron.

Frozen

Elsa stood in Ahtohallan gazing up at it lovingly, one hand resting against an icy pillar and the other holding her baby close to her. He stirred and fussed a little bit. She grinned, looking down at him. "See baby? This is your home," she tenderly said to him, gently running a finger down his little body. "We won't be here for a while, but one day. Promise." The baby looked around as if in awe of it. "For now, home is where daddy is. In Arendelle. With Anna and Kristoff and little Gerda. You two will be such wonderful friends. You'll love each other with everything you are." She felt Ahtohallan shift and gasped a bit, looking up. The baby whimpered a little. "What's wrong?" she asked the ice like it could hear her. Maybe it could. As if in response, it reflected the image of her husband across the Dark Sea, looking out towards it. "Why is he here?" she wondered out loud curiously, frowning. She turned. "He knows it's dangerous for him." She hurried out of the icy fortress and went to the shore, gazing out over the water. The kelpie in horse form was waiting patiently, glaring daggers across the sea. It too sensed him here. Elsa came up next to it, looking out over the waves as well. It gave her a dark look and she winced. "I know. I know he's not supposed to be here. But he wouldn't have come without good reason. I trust that." The kelpie snorted in derision. "Stop it," she chastised. She looked longingly back at Ahtohallan. She wished she never had to leave… But until Hans was free of those shards once and for all, this couldn't happen. She wasn't going to selfishly abandon him so she could pursue her own interests. This was a matter she was willing to compromise on. Relationships were about compromises, right? And both she and Hans had done their share of it. She looked at the kelpie, who was staring at her baby quietly. "Take us back to him," she said. It gave her a look but snorted in agreement. She mounted it once more, side-saddle, and it took off across the ocean, hurrying to bring her to Hans.

They reached him shortly and she leapt nimbly off the nokk, landing on the water but freezing it beneath her feet. She approached her husband. He looked at her as if he were seeing a goddess, and it gave her chills. Then made her feel sick to the stomach, because he still didn't know. He didn't know her ancestry. Not truly. What would he think if he ever found out…? She wasn't sure she wanted to tell him. Nokk followed behind her. She reached her husband and pressed her forehead to his, nuzzling it gently. "You shouldn't have come back," she murmured.

"I know," he said. "But something about this whole Carabis thing doesn't sit right with me. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said.

She nodded and looked back at the nokk. She smiled. "You should ride him," she said.

"No," he flatly replied.

"Pet him?" she asked.

"No," Hans answered.

"Why?" she asked. Hans was quiet.

"Because of the lies in his heart," the kelpie communicated darkly without speaking. Hans bristled, eyes darkening slightly. Elsa frowned and turned to her husband curiously. She was a bit taken aback by the look in his eyes. It wasn't one she'd seen for a long time, and it… unsettled her.

"Hans?" she asked.

He looked quickly at her, then to the kelpie, then sighed and looked to her again. And the baby. His expression softened considerably. He went near to her, taking her arms softly and nuzzling her again. "Can I?" he asked.

"You don't have to ask," she replied. "He's your son too."

Hans nodded and gently took the infant from her, expression filling with emotion. "Hi there, little guy," he gently said he said with a flicker of a smile dancing across his lips. "Hi." The baby grunted and held the tip of his finger. "I'm your daddy," he softly said with a gentle grin. The baby proceeded to try and suck on his finger. He let out a breathy laugh, gently nudging its tiny cheek. His smile fell. "I will protect you with everything that I am," he solemnly vowed, cradling it tenderly in the crook of his neck.

"Even the wicked parts," the nokk communicated. Hans bristled and looked at him again with a dark expression. Elsa seemed concerned now, looking from one to the other uneasily.

"The shards are part of me, whether I like it or not," Hans said.

"Which is it?" the nokk challenged. Hans tensed up, staring at him.

"Hans?" Elsa tentatively asked. He didn't even look at her, staring instead at the kelpie. "You don't need to answer that," she firmly said, giving the kelpie a hard glare.

"Because she believes it is the latter," the nokk communicated to Hans alone menacingly. Hans' jaw twitched. "I sense the lies in your heart… By all means, climb onto my back."

"Damn you," Hans spat.

"Hans!" Elsa exclaimed, taking the baby back. "What's gotten into you?"

"Your supernatural boyfriend," Hans bit sharply, marching frustratedly passed her and heading for the boat.

Elsa looked after him in disbelief, then to the nokk with a scowl. "Leave him alone!" she ordered sharply. "I'm done dealing with this!" The nokk had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. "Why are you torturing him?" she asked finally, tone softening.

The kelpie looked at her once more. "What will you do, to protect your baby?"

"What? Anything!" she replied.

"Then protect him from his father first. His father who does not know that he is the primary danger his son must be protected from," the nokk replied.

"Hans is not a danger to Kay," Elsa hissed.

"He does not mean to be," the nokk agreed. With that it turned, trotting away into the sea and leaving Elsa staring after it in numb disbelief, not sure what to think of those words.

Frozen

Elsa nervously looked after her husband, who was on the boat now and glaring darkly after the nokk. She shifted, looked down at her baby curled up against her, then went to join him there. He glanced at her briefly before watching the sea again. "Hold him," she gently prompted. Hans glanced at the baby somewhat miserably. Like he was afraid that to touch him would ruin him. "Hold him," she prompted again. Finally he reached out, taking the child into his arms and holding him near, gazing down at it lovingly, a desperate protectiveness in his eyes. "Will you tell me what he said?" she gently asked.

"No," he answered simply. Elsa winced but didn't press.

Hans let out a shaky breath, bringing the baby to his lips and pressing a soft, lingering kiss on his tiny little head. The baby made contented little mewling sounds and clung to his father's clothing. Hans held little Kay on his shoulder and gently rested his head on the child, cradling him close. He looked towards Ahtohallan once more. Maybe it was where his child would be safest after all… He turned to Elsa and pressed the baby into her arms again. "You should go home," he said hollowly. She bristled, staring up at him with eyes widening a bit like she couldn't believe what she'd just heard. "I will protect him with everything I am… Even if it means protecting him from me…"

"He doesn't need protection from you. You're his father," she hissed.

"I'm also the mirror," he answered solemnly.

"You are not the mirror," she said. "You have shards of it within you, but soon enough they'll be gone. Then you'll be safe, and we'll be safe, and we can make a home here. Everything will be alright, writer of fairy tales. I'm not going anywhere."

"But you want to," he said.

"Not without you," she replied. "Never without you." He smiled gently at her and pulled her close, holding her and their child near. He let out a soft sigh through the nose and stared towards the shore that they were now pulling away from, smile slowly falling. There in the woods was an animal. Reindeer or stag he couldn't tell from here. It was white… And it watched them as if it was condemning him as much as the kelpie had…

"Here, Elsa, let me hold him for a moment," Gerda said, approaching them.

Elsa gasped, looking over in surprise. "Gerda? I thought everyone had gone below deck except the crew," she said.

"I came up for some fresh air," Gerda replied.

"I didn't even hear you come up, much less see you. Of course," Elsa replied, drawing away from Hans and giving Kay over to her. Gerda smiled at it. Something in the smile seemed… strange. But Gerda had been through a lot since… since learning about Kai… Something forced or bittersweet was to be expected. Elsa looked at Hans. Hans was focused on something on the shore. She frowned a bit and turned to look. She started on seeing the same white creature he must be seeing. She went to the railing of the ship, staring out at it. Its gaze was on them, it seemed. Wait, it was looking a bit to the side. At… Gerda? She turned. The woman was gone. She frowned and straightened up, looking around. Where could the woman have gone so quickly? "Gerda?!" she called out. No answer. "Gerda?!" she called a little louder. Hans was paying attention now, frowning a bit curiously. "Gerda!" she shouted.

"Elsa? Gerda was never up here," Hans said, sounding puzzled.

Elsa tensed up, paling. Slowly she turned to him. "What?" she asked in a whisper.

"Gerda was never here," Hans said. It was then he noticed the lack of baby in her arms and nearly dropped dead on the spot, hands seizing the rails of the ship and staring at her like he was trying to convince himself he was just seeing things. The baby wasn't there. The baby wasn't there! He looked up at her, meeting her eyes. "Elsa, where is the baby?" he asked numbly.

Elsa, pale with hands covering her mouth, shook her head. "I gave him to Gerda," she whispered.

"Goddammit!" Hans shouted, spinning around and looking frantically around. "Kay?! Kay!"

"Gerda? Gerda, where is he?! Where's my baby?!" Elsa called frantically. "Gerda, Kay! Kay!" She held her hair in her hands. The boat was beginning to freeze rapidly, and everything around them. Ice was spreading as far as the shoreline and creeping over the beach and into the forest slowly. A blizzard was picking up, the waves tossing. Hans gasped, looking at the sea that was quickly whipping into a frenzy.

"Elsa, stop! Keep calm of you'll drown us!" Hans shouted to her over an increasingly powerful wind.

"Where's my baby? Where's out baby," she said, sounding like she was about to hyperventilate. "Hans, Hans, he isn't here! He isn't… Hans!"

Hans wished to the gods he could be a more reassuring presence, but he couldn't be. Not now. He was inwardly losing it and he felt like if he let himself acknowledge what this might mean, he'd burn the boat, boil the ocean, and scorch the forest.

Carabis. Carabis had his baby. Carabis had their baby! No, no, no, this couldn't be happening. This couldn't happen. Carabis had their son!

"Hans, the boat!" Elsa exclaimed in alarm. He looked. Where he was clinging was on fire, and that fire was rapidly spreading. He jerked his hands away, catching his breath.

"It has him. He has him," Hans breathed tensely, voice coming out a squeaking whisper.

"No," Elsa said in a breath, shaking his head. "No!" She looked towards the shores again and to her horror there she saw the horrifying figure clutching a tiny infant, standing on the shores of Ahtohallan. "No!" she shrieked, racing for the edge and leaping overboard without a second thought!

Frozen

"Elsa!" Hans shouted. He gasped, though, when he too saw the distant figure on the shores of Ahtohallan cradling their infant close. "Goddammit!" he shouted, throwing off his coat and shoes and diving overboard after his wife. Shouts from behind could be heard, terrified and alarmed. He broke the surface and looked back in time to see Anna try to jump over too before Kristoff caught her, pulling her back. He looked ahead and started swimming for Ahtohallan. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't make it. He might not even now. But this wasn't a normal circumstance and his adrenaline was pumping, and all he knew was that he had to get to Kay. He had to!

Elsa raced along the ocean frantically, ice freezing beneath her every step as her white, icy form returned with a vengeance. The icy floats didn't remain behind her for long. If she'd known Hans had jumped after her, she might have ensured they did, but her focus was on Carabis and Kay, the former of which was walking nonchalantly into her domain as if he owned it. He was taking her child. He was taking her baby boy! "Carabis!" she screamed in rage. The nokk whinnied suddenly, appearing at her side. She threw herself onto its back. It tore across the waves faster than she could have hoped to run and made it to shore in record time. But it stopped. "Why are you stopping?!" Elsa demanded. It looked towards the sea. She turned and gasped, paling. "Hans," she whispered. "Hans!" she screamed, leaping off the kelpie and stepping towards the shoreline before stopping with a dreadful realization.

She could only save one…

Tears threatened her eyes as the blizzard she'd conjured hid her husband from sight for a moment. She gasped, looking towards Ahtohallan and closed her eyes, gritting her teeth. If she was forced to choose, she would choose Kay without question. She ran towards Ahtohallan determinedly. The kelpie, on the other hand, charged towards the sea and Hans. She was so grateful for that... She didn't know how she would repay him for the mercy towards her and her husband, but she would. Somehow. She felt like she could breathe again. Her expression became dark and determined and set. The jotun wasn't taking her child. She would never let him take her child!

Frozen

Hans cursed the chill of the water and the blizzard. He'd die of hypothermia before drowning at this rate. Suddenly he cried out as something lifted him from the waves. He gasped, looking, and his eyes widened. The nokk! And probably the only reason he wasn't being drowned right now was because of its love for Elsa, but Hans knew he wasn't going to stay that lucky. Not for a third time. This was the last freebie the fae would allow him. He adjusted himself on its back as it galloped onto the shore and into the cave.

As Elsa ran, she heard the whinny from behind and turned with a gasp. The nokk tore around the corner, Hans on its back, and she let out a breath. She reached up her hand and as the nokk raced by, Hans seized it and pulled her onto its back as well. They weren't catching up to Carabis. Why couldn't they catch up to Carabis?! The memories began to rear their heads.

"Let it go, let it go, I am one with the wind and sky!"

"Don't be the monster they fear you are!"

"Into the unknown!"

"Oh Anna… If only there was someone who loved you."

"Show yourself, I'm ready to learn!"

"Your sister is dead because of you!"

Elsa sobbed at the last remark. Now her son might soon be. Hans' arm tightened reassuringly around her. She shook her head in denial. Her husband's silence spoke volumes about how he was taking all of this.

The bear roaring in fury.

The mirror glistening wicked and then shattering.

Ahtohallan almost seemed to scream, enraged at their presence. Not theirs. Hans'. He cried out suddenly, hand pulling away from her. She gasped, looking back. He was covering his heart, grimacing in pain. Fear filled her eyes and she looked ahead again. They were approaching the sound… The nokk leapt off the edge and down into it. Hans cried out in pain a second time and sobbed, doubling over. "Hans?" Elsa asked in fear and concern, clutching his free hand freely. He was shaking but squeezed her hand firmly in a reassuring gesture.

"I love you," he gasped.

"I know, baby, I know," she answered in a whisper. "You'll be alright. We'll be alright." Please, let them be alright… Let him be alright.

Frozen

The Northuldra, Thord, and Mattias, meanwhile, stared up at the sky and freezing forest uneasily. "Something's wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong," Honeymaren nervously said. She looked at Thord in concern. "Elsa," she said. He was silent, jaw clenched. Suddenly he took off at a run. Honeymaren immediately followed, as did Ryder. Mattias and Yelana took up the rear, hurrying after the three young people.

Thord raced through the forest as quickly as he could go. He slid to a stop when suddenly a white reindeer leapt out in front of him. He caught his breath, staring at it. Honeymaren stared wide-eyed, and Ryder gaped. Mattias and Yelana soon caught up and froze too with gasps. Silence. "In all my days…" Yelana said in a breath. It tossed its head as if telling them to get on.

"Should we?" Mattias uneasily asked.

"Thord should," Honeymaren immediately said. She turned to him. "You the best chance of helping your cousins. We'll catch up! Just go."

Thord nodded and ran to the reindeer, mounting quickly. It immediately tore through the forest rapidly, making for the Dark Sea. It burst out of the woods in record time and stopped at the shore, peering across the now frozen ocean, a ship in the distance frozen in place as well. Thord's lips slowly parted in horror. He shook out of it. "Go!" he ordered, kicking the flanks. It leapt forward, charging across the waters faster than he thought a reindeer could go. Thord gritted his teeth. He glanced at the ice and saw, for just a moment, the face of his mother. He took a breath, drawing a measure of courage from it—she was watching him—and focused on the goal ahead of him. The reindeer raced onto the shores of Ahtohallan and inside without slowing or stopping. Thord prayed his cousin was alright…

Frozen

The kelpie ran deeper and deeper into Ahtohallan. Elsa could feel Hans shivering behind her despite the flames he'd sprouted. Suddenly the nokk stopped to listen. Hans' shaking, labored breaths were plainly heard, as were Elsa's soft ones. Suddenly they heard the crying of a baby in the distance and looked quickly over. The kelpie raced in its direction. Suddenly it slid to a stop, pausing. Elsa and Hans gasped. There before them was what seemed like an upright pool, rippling in the cold of Ahtohallan. "What is that?" Elsa whispered. The kelpie snorted then raced into it. Elsa and Hans cried out in alarm, covering their faces. When next they looked, they caught their breath with eyes widening. They were in a forest. A beautiful, untouched forest. Behind them was a pool of water sparkling unassumingly on the ground.

"What is this place?" Hans asked, voice shaking with pain and cold.

"Tir Na Nog," the kelpie answered. "This place… it is close to Avalon. Very close."

"The faerie realm? Why would Carabis take our baby here?" Elsa asked, looking nervously around. "Something isn't right! Is this just to taunt us? Torture us? Why would he bring Kay to this place?"

"Let's not find out," Hans answered, voice a little stronger on hearing his son weeping in the distance. The nokk snorted and turned, cantering in the general direction but not galloping anymore. Soon it slowed to a walk as they came alongside a river, slowing so that they could better hear Kay's cries.

Elsa's mouth quivered. "We're going to lose him," she said.

"No, we aren't," Hans promised. "We're going to find him, Elsa. Whatever it takes."

"This is all my fault," she said, sounding stressed again. Frost began to dance around them, but nothing half as intense as it had been earlier.

"Shh, it's okay," he reassured. "Kay will be okay."

The crying sounded again. Elsa gasped and slid quickly off of the nokk's back, walking forward and trying to follow the sound. "Kay?!" she called out, though she knew he couldn't respond. He probably didn't even know his own name yet. "Kay! Kay, mommy and daddy are coming!" Hans looked warily around and his eyes fell on the river running by. He noticed, then, that the Nokk was looking too… He realized just a moment too late what it was thinking. His eyes flew wide and he tried to leap off, but suddenly it charged into the depths, Hans crying out in terror. "Hans!" he heard Elsa scream. "Nokk, bring him back! Nokk!"

Frozen

Hans kicked off of the nokk, trying to swim to the surface, but it blocked him swiftly, gaze intense. It whinnied and shot at him, shoving him down deeper into the depths and into the riverbed. Hans struggled to break free and cut at it with his iron dagger, though he wasn't sure if it would have much effect on the water form. The creature recoiled slightly, giving him breathing room, and he broke for the surface and swam frantically for shore. Elsa ran into the water reaching for him, only for the kelpie to spring up between them and knock her back to shore before taking Hans down with it. Hans cried out in terror and got away again, breaking the water once more.

"You psychopath!" he freaked at the creature. It sprang up in front of him and Hans gasped, ending up in caught in a wrestling match with it.

"Hans, it drowns those whose heart it senses is full of lies!" Elsa cried out. "Tell the truth and he'll let you go!"

"The truth about what?! Screw it! I'll handle this! This stupid thing has it in for me!" he shouted back. He cried out again as it took him under once more. He broke a minute or so later, gasping for breath. Fear began to consume him when he saw it coming again. He tried to escape yet again, though by now he got the cold sense that it was futile. It leapt up, getting him onto its back.

"Hans, don't make me say goodbye! I can't lose you too, please! Hans, my darling, please! Unburden your heart of its lies, whatever ones are in it!" Elsa cried out frantically, trying to interfere to save her husband again by attempting to freeze the river. She couldn't freeze it. Why couldn't she freeze it?! She tried in vain once more to reach for her husband's hand, but again the nokk kept her away from him, dragging Hans under. Hans spun, stabbing with the dagger again and giving himself another chance. He swam for the surface as fast as he could and broke it, coughing and gasping for air, shaking his head in denial. Where did he even start to unburden the lies? There were so many of them. Not even he had realized how many until this moment. "I can't! Elsa, I can't!" he said through a coughing fit. "I wouldn't know where to start!" He cried out as he was dragged under again.

"No!" she screamed. He came up once more. "Anna! Start with Anna! Hans, how do you feel about Anna?!" It was a stab in the dark, but she figured if he had any reason to lie about anything, it would be about her sister.

"I never cared about Anna, even for a moment in pretend! I thought she was the stupidest woman I'd ever met. Her naivety was a joke! She was annoying, careless, made absolutely no sense... I mean 'We complete each other's sandwiches?' Seriously?! Come on girl! How do you even logic that that's where the sentence was going?!" he replied.

Elsa flinched a bit at the confession. "And now?!" she asked.

He yelped, being dragged under again. A few seconds later he reappeared. "She's my ex, Elsa! I'm married to her sister! Do you have any idea how awkward I feel when we end up anywhere alone together?! Extremely! I just want to get out! I tolerate it at best and around other people it's fine, but if I had to be alone with her more than five minutes I'd throw myself out a window!"

"Olaf?!" she demanded.

"Childish, naive, and endearing at the start, annoying pest now but getting tolerable again as I'm getting used to it!" he answered. She frowned.

"Kristoff?" she asked as Hans treaded water fearfully, searching for the Nokk and trying to make for shore subtly.

"Best friend but too much the burly mountain man and pretty thick headed and annoying at times!" he called without looking.

"Me?!" she demanded.

"Love of my life, Elsa, come on!" he protested immediately, offended at the question. He cried out as he was seized from below and dragged cried out as he was pulled under again. Elsa looked startled an uncertain at what it meant that the Nokk had chosen right then to drag him under again. She told herself the kelpie had done it once already, after she had asked Hans how he felt about Anna currently, so it probably didn't mean anything, but she could't shake the sense it might... Hans fought his way free once more and breached again with a gasp and a coughing fit.

"Arendelle?" she asked in a breath, but at this point she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Hans cursed audibly. "Better than the Southern Isles!" he blurted in reply, but that wasn't saying much and they both knew it. As if confirming the unsatisfactory truth those words had proven to be, the kelpie dragged down him down again. He cried out as he vanished beneath the surface, but almost immediately he was up again, his iron dagger in his hand. Elsa caught her breath as she watched him plunge it down at the nokk's face with a vindictiveness in his motions and a murder in his eyes so intense that the sight almost chilled the Queen. "Tell me the truth!" she shouted.

"I'm free of the Southern Isles in Arendelle! There, with you, I feel so at peace, you know that! But your people... They are so naive and weak! They have no backbone and their greatest quality is their heartiness, but they don't use it for anything except plying their trades!" Hans replied, shaking his head like it was the last thing he wanted to admit but knew he had to. Elsa was visibly offended at the words and he hated that.

"And my queenship?!" she demanded.

"I hate that you keep me from punishing criminals. I hate that you refused to let me execute those stupid, corrupt old men you called Councillors! Men who tried to control you, who tried to defame you, who tried to get your husband arrested and probably executed if they'd had their way! You may be the most beloved monarch Arendelle has ever seen aside from your father, Elsa, but your rule is too gentle and soft! Sure, maybe that means it won't be your people who dethrone and kill you in the end, but it guarantees that something far worse and evil will!" he replied. "For gods' sakes, you let a man like me live! That doesn't tell you everything you need to know?!" he blurted. He caught his breath, biting his tongue. Elsa looked like she'd been struck, taken aback by the words and staring at him, pale now.

"What?" she breathed. He opened his mouth then closed it again. He cried out when the nokk furiously dragged him under. "Bring him back!" she screamed at the river in rage, and this time it froze over briefly before the ice creaked and seemed to melt away as if by magic, but no sooner had it done so when the kelpie pushed Hans to the surface again, keeping him draped over its back as Hans coughed. As soon as he recovered himself, he gasped and looked at her. "What do you mean?" she asked hollowly and lowly, voice quivering with emotion and fists clenched at her side. There was a long period of stillness now where no one moved and no one spoke. Hans was pale as he stared into the eyes of his trembling wife, but she wasn't trembling for fear or rage... He wished she were... She trembled for uncertainty and anxiety. "What are you saying?!" she demanded, and this time she sounded anguished. He felt himself shaking now too, his breathing fast and tense. The nokk dragged him under and he had half a mind not to fight, but thoughts of Kay drove him to struggle anyway. He broke free of the Nokk once more and breached the surface, gasping in air.

"You forgave and set free a murderer, Elsa! A man with the soul and heart of an assassin! A man who didn't always hate it!" he cried out with a pained sob. Elsa gasped softly and realized with a fearful jolt just how bad this could actually be… "I laughed, goddammit, sometimes I laughed! Not out of enjoyment or joy, but out of some measure of perverse insanity I never knew I was even slipping into!"

"Then what would you have done had you been me?" she finally dragged up the courage to ask.

"Condemned me!" Hans answered.

"No!" she refused, shaking her head. The thought of that, the mental imagery of what would have happened had she chosen that path... It was too painful to think about!

"Do you have any idea the danger you put yourself in by keeping me alive?" he asked, voice trembling. "You got lucky, that's all! Just lucky! Do you have any idea what it could have cost you to do what you did?" She was silent, lips tightly pursed. She didn't want to know. She never wanted to know! It was a question she had purposely avoided asking herself or him because it didn't matter! It stopped mattering long ago! Didn't it? Hans cried out as he was dragged under again, the Nokk calling him immediately on his avoidance.

"Hans!" she called, voice breaking. She ran into the river again desperately, but for the third time the nokk appeared. Not as a horse, this time, or necessarily as a man, but as the chest and arms and head of a man. His body itself was the river. He seized her around the waist pushing her back towards the shore as a wave carried a boat back to shore. "No! Let him go!" she ordered him desperately, reaching towards her husband as Hans tried to take the opportunity to escape to the other side. The kelpie deposited her on land once more and quickly went back for her husband, seizing him and locking the two of them in a wrestle. The nokk was determined to drag him under. Hans was determined not to go anywhere.

"My natural tendencies are towards violence and lashing out, towards squashing rebellion and quelling defiance, and every time an explosive argument breaks out between me and someone else, I'm so scared because I don't trust myself not to lose control and become the monster again! I'm scared that they could be taking their life into their hands and not even know it!" Hans cried out in confession, hoping against hope it would buy him some leeway with the nokk. It didn't. Elsa felt a shiver run up her spine. Did 'someone else' include her too...? That fearful thought hung in the back of her mind, taunting her mercilessly. She became aware of her body quivering. "Your husband is cruel, a liar, a traitor, selfish, manipulative, vindictive, heartless!"

"Stop it!" she screamed. That wasn't true! Maybe it had been, but it wasn't now!

"Your husband is a monster! Your husband is wicked and merciless and a tyrant, your husband lusts for power and recognition and fame, your husband's whole life is an act and the only thing true in it anymore is his love for you and your family and his, and your friends, and even that wasn't supposed to happen!" Hans continued. "I can't be trusted, Elsa! You should have never trusted me! You should never have let yourself love me let alone marry me, and you were careless to do so. You should have put me to death!"

"Enough!" Elsa screamed, icy air tearing out from around her and flash freezing the ground and the trees, but the river continued to meander by as if not at all bothered by her outburst. She didn't want to hear anymore. She didn't want to listen to this!

Hans was forced under by the kelpie, still locked in battle with him, but swiftly he managed to get the faerie creature beneath him and breach the water again with a gasp for air. "I was a mirror before the mirror was even part of me! The shards only enhanced it and I liked it! I liked the feeling, I liked the power, I liked the insight it gave me even though who could even say if it was truths or lies at that time? We knew almost nothing about it, I just knew it justified my reasons for murder and I liked that! I liked absolving myself of all blame and responsibility and putting it on everyone else! I made myself believe it was never my fault and even when I didn't believe that anymore, I still chose to use it as an excuse because I could get away with it! I liked the challenge of trying to!" Under once more. Surfacing again. This time, though, Elsa spoke before he could…

"What about the shards?!" she shouted.

"What about them?!" he demanded.

"Do you want them out of you at all, Hans?!" she shouted, sounding pained. He stiffened, going silent and staring at her in dread. Again, everything stopped. The kelpie stared into his soul as if daring him to lie or stay silent. For a long moment, the world was still. "You said you liked being the mirror..." she said, barely audible. "Do you want them out of you at all?" she asked. This time her voice came out barely a whisper, tears threatening her eyes and grief in her expression.

"No," he finally answered in a whisper, and she gasped out a breath of air and began to breath more heavily, torn and looking so confused and hurt... Her stunned silence was more painful than anything he'd ever experienced before… "I don't want them gone," he said, shaking his head and feeling tears burning his own eyes. "I want them inside of me. I want their power. I want to be a mirror. I want to be able to protect you and our baby no matter what form that takes and no matter what it costs!" he continued, voice steadily rising into a desperate shout as he frantically tried to explain himself. She sobbed, covering her mouth and bowing her head. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be! She couldn't be hearing those words. They weren't true, they-they weren't... He was supposed to be getting better! "No, please, Elsa don't do that. I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" He cried out as the nokk pulled him under again. Before he was pulled beneath the water, he saw she was in tears... He should probably just let himself drown this time, but of course he didn't because he was a fighter, and damned if he gave this thing the satisfaction of executing him! He'd give Elsa that honor, a darker part of him whispered inside. He wrestled with the nokk for a good minute plus before he broke free, lungs screaming for air. He broke the surface and took in large gulps of it.

"Do you love me?" he heard her ask, and the question almost broke him.

"What? Elsa, of course I do!" he shouted immediately. "Question anything else about me, anything, just not that! Please! Please, my darling, not that. Never that."

"When did you realize you did?" she asked.

"I don't know! It just happened! Please, you have to believe me," he sobbed in agony; but not physical agony, emotional agony. He cried out as he was dragged under again. Goddammit, hadn't this thing seen him suffer enough?! He looked into its eyes… They were almost pitying… That somehow made him feel worse… They broke the surface again. "I never intended to love you! I never thought I would truly begin to care for you, just at some point hate turned into love and it happened before I even knew it was happening! You knew that! You always knew that! It happened for you too! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" He had broken down by now. If he'd had the time to, he probably would have been full on sobbing, but he was focused on staying alive at the moment. Though goodness knew she'd probably stopped caring by now if he lived or died…

"Would you give them up for me?" she asked. He gasped, looking quickly over at her. She had gone completely still. She had entered her icy form, and she stood so poised and motionless and... and terrifying in her ethereal beauty... He let out a breath. "Would you give them up for your son? So that Carabis has no use for you anymore. So that we can all be safe..."

Hans shook his head. They wouldn't be, he inwardly answered. Because Carabis was not the not the one in charge... He hadn't been for a very, very long time, and though Carabis' desires might be fulfilled, though maybe not ideally, Mor'du's would not. And his desires ran hand-in-hand with Carabis'. "No," he answered lowly, hollowly, defeatedly. "I will not give them up for you or for our son."

Because they were all that kept them safe... He would keep them all safe. No matter what form that took and no matter what it cost... He couldn't protect them with his sword and pistol, as was proven time and time again, and he couldn't protect them with his powers though goodness knew he'd tried. All he had left to him was the mirror, and the mirror he had been before the shards had entered his body? It wasn't good enough... He was never. Good. Enough!

Elsa felt like her world had collapsed in on her to hear those words. She felt like she was the one being drowned. Drowned in a sea of emotions and feelings she couldn't begin to decipher or understand. The words struck her to the heart like her icy shards had struck Anna, and she wondered for just a moment if it really were possible to die of a broken heart... Silence hung heavily in the air between them. She gazed at him in absolutely quiet, tears flowing from her eyes and running in freezing rivulets down her cheeks, dropping to the ground as drops of crystalline ice. He wished he could die, to know he had brought it about. He had never wanted to hurt her like this again... He felt the kelpie reaching up from the depths unseen, clinging to his clothing and dragging him back and down towards it and its domain to end him. He let himself be dragged this time. He was done fighting... He bore to her all of his soul that he possibly could, and it wasn't enough.

You are never enough.

But perhaps now his death wouldn't hurt her so much... Gods be willing it wouldn't hurt her at all...

"Find our baby, Elsa. Find him! Save him and bring him home and let whoever you love and marry next be the only father he knows he ever had. I never lived, nightingale and Snow Queen. I never existed! Everything I am is a living lie! I died before you even knew me. I promised to protect our son from anything... Now let him be forever protected from me!" As if on cue the kelpie reached up, seizing his hair, and dragged him beneath the water. He cried out as he was pulled under once more. Goddammit, just let death come already! Let it come so he never had to see her look of pain and betrayal and hurt in his memory again. He almost laughed. Even in that he was selfish.

Her scream of anger and grief and distress, the emotional turmoil he heard within it, tore into his very core…

He gave up completely, this time, and purposely let out his breath and inhaled the icy water to hasten death…

Frozen

"Kelpie, bring him back to me!" Elsa shouted at the water, voice powerful and strong and commanding. "Bring him back!"

So I can kill him myself? So I can hold him and never let go? So I can break down in his arms? So I can break down and curse him for everything? So I can break him? So I can share in his pain with him and reassure him?

She was beyond the point of knowing what to think anymore. She didn't even know what she was going to do! She only knew she wouldn't let him die like this. Not like this.

Soon enough the kelpie broke the water. Slower this time and in his human form. Her husband was in his arms hanging limp, and part of her wanted to laugh in spiteful satisfaction while the other part felt like her world was crumbling around her. The kelpie stared at her then made its way to the shoreline. Silently he deposited her husband on the bank and solemnly examined the young king. Elsa stared numbly, unsure whether he was dead or alive. He stirred and she let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding… But she didn't know how to feel. Or what she felt at all… Maybe that was why she didn't go to him... "Hans?" she whispered.

He began to move and grimaced, slowly regaining consciousness and sitting up, a hand against his forehead. Suddenly he gasped as he recalled what had happened. He looked over at her quickly. She could only stare numbly, which was exactly what she felt right now. Numb. His lips were parted in grief and guilt. Hers were shut tight, frozen tears on her cheeks. He didn't even try to speak. That was probably for the best… She turned her back as her normal appearance returned. He watched her, swallowing hard, and rose to his own feet, leaning against a boulder and staring at her. What was she supposed to do or say, she wondered? She half turned her head so she could at least see him.

"Don't come home," she heard herself hollowly command, the words leaving her lips without permission. She cursed them, but then she didn't try to take them back either… It broke her heart. The expression that crossed his face… He looked like he wanted to die. To throw himself on his own sword… And then the expression became resigned. Resigned because he had expected this… He bowed his head low, closing his eyes tightly and sniffing. He nodded once and silently in response. She shook her head then walked quickly away, arms wrapped around herself and rubbing each other, lips tightly pursed and tears of pain and grief and guilt burning her eyes.

Don't come home…

Hans sobbed and sank to his knees, letting himself break down as he clung to the boulder and prayed for death... The kelpie stayed with him. It didn't pursue Elsa. He wanted to hate it, he wanted to hate it so much… but maybe all of this had been for the best after all… She would be safe. Her and Kay. Carabis would have no further use for them, if he was out of their lives… He was all the hybrid's now. There was no more reason to fight. Let his life and existence be the price he paid for his family's safety… He had wanted to be a mirror anyway... He gasped in another, shaking sob, covering his mouth with a hand in grief and guilt.