Thank you. I'm so glad you feel it's true to the show and characters. Didn't realize it was basically a month and a half since I posted anything...here's one more update for today and then I'll resume a sort of normal weekly update schedule.
(Gill's flat. Rachel sits at the table and Orla, Sammy have moved to the settee and Charlotte stands by chattering away to them. Gill was preparing coffees and teas to go with the cake reveal. Rachel looks at her phone, still no text from Janet. She sips her wine, slowly, savoring it's smooth liquid body and floral notes. Now that Rachel didn't drink as often, she found she had preferences in wine, beside what the alcohol proof was. Her taste buds were becoming more refined and she was picking up on the subtleties between different blends. She twirls the wine in her glass and looks over to Sammy who holds his arms out in front of him, fists closed. Rachel's chest tightens. Charlotte stands in front of Sammy, chewing the inside of her lip as she thinks, and sways slightly side to side as she keeps her brown eyes focused on Sammy's fists. Rachel slaps her glass down on the table causing a loud startling clink and in three swift steps she's moved Charlotte behind her and towers over Sammy.)
Charlotte: Mummy? (Sammy's eyes move up, from where the toddle once was, and follow the thin body up to Rachel's dark eyes. Her stare was intense and her stance was intimidating. Sammy shrinks back into the settee, his arms still stretched out at elbow length, frozen with his confusion. A fiery anger flames in her chest like heartburn.)
Rachel: (wags her finger side to side, looking at Sammy's fists.) What's this then?
Sammy: (looks to his mother for clarification but Gill simply sips her wine.) Uh, what? It's a, (he looks at his hands) a game.
Rachel: (points and leans forward. Through her teeth.) Charlotte doesn't take part in any bloody games like that. Alright?
Sammy: (He feels threatened and puts his hands up, as if surrendering. His thumbs are folded into his palm holding two shiny wrappers.) I'm, I'm sorry Rach. I, uh, I don't know what-
Orla: It's just a game.
Sammy: I didn't mean any harm.
Rachel: (scoffs) Didn't mean any harm?
Sammy: (opens his hands, palm up, revealing the chocolates he was hiding in his fists.) I was just trying to help Charlotte pick a chocolate. She couldn't decide between red or blue and you said she could only have one. (The heat from Rachel's chest moves to her face, blushing her cheeks red. She looks at the chocolates, Sammy's confused face, Orla's concern, and then behind her at her innocent daughter's bewilderment.)
Rachel: (softly) That's, uh, that's all this was?
Sammy: I swear. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.
Rachel: No. (nods now embarrassed by her overly strong reaction.) No, you're alright. My mistake. (She forces a smile down at Charlotte and smooths her hand over the top of her daughter's head. She bends at the waist and kisses the top of Charlotte's head. She attempts to laugh off the awkward unease she's caused everyone and then steps away, grabbing her wine glass and retreating to the kitchen. Rachel presses her pelvis into the island in front of her, staring down into the red wine left in her glass, she stares into it,clearly disappearing somewhere else.)
Charlotte: (to Sammy) I know which one I want now.
Sammy: Alright. Red or blue?
Charlotte: Yellow!
Orla: Yellow? (Charlotte laughs loudly, her unbridled joy bursting life back into the room. A knot catches in Rachel's throat and Gill watches as whatever Rachel is processing mentally, physically makes its way through her body. It twitches through her fingertips as she taps her nails against the glass, then it bounces around in her head, Gill watches Rachel's dark eyes dart between the view of her happy toddler and the wine. Eventually her jaw moves slightly, side to side, grinding it's gears, getting ready to work. Gill waits patiently. Rachel's gaze flicks to Gill for a second, just long enough to see if she has her attention. Gill's gaze is curious but kind.)
Rachel: (clears her throat, swallowing the knot) Uh, (speaks softly) My dad, he played a game like that with me. If I picked the correct hand, it was just something playful, something silly. A tug of hair, a pinch on the arm, or the knife game. (Gill focuses a lot of her energy on keeping a neutral and receptive expression on her face, despite how alarming a "knife game" sounds.) If I picked the wrong hand. He'd- (Almost robotically, mimics, she holds her fist out and then turns it to the side, opening it up and stiffening her palm.) Or he'd just- (her hand returns to a fist. She peeks at Gill.) He'd hit me. And then it became a different game. See how many I could take before I fell down.
Gill: (sighs and shakes her head) Fucking hell.
Rachel: (lightly laughs and straightens her stance) Anyway, it wasn't much fun.
Gill: No, it was…cruel.
Rachel: Yeah, he was. (She twists her lips to the side, dismissing the fact and twirls her wine in her glass before taking a sip. Gill's face was blank. Lost. But still her eyes were fixed on Rachel. Gill was lost for words for a moment. She's heard and witnessed plenty of horror stories in her days on the job, but it was an entirely different thing to know someone she loves and cares about is the victim. Smiles widely, ready to change subjects, hoping to stop Gill looking at her like that.) I got really good at the knife game though. (Gill blinks a long blink and then returns her empty stare to Rachel's face. Her dimples shown, a well practiced smile to cover her traumas.) C'mon you must know what I'm talking about.
Gill: I don't think-
Rachel: I'll show you. (steps over to the counter and removes a knife from the cutting block. She pulls over the cutting board and Gill's eyes widen with an anticipatory horror.)
Gill: What is? (Rachel puts her hand down flat on the cutting board, spreading her fingers wide.)
Rachel: I haven't played it, in awhile mind you.
Gill: Rach- (Rachel very quickly stabs the knife down in between the spaces of her fingers moving from pinky to thumb. Gill gasps and Rachel stops to laugh, a sudden adrenaline rush surges in her.)
Rachel: That's slow compared to what I used to be able to do.
Gill: (snaps) Give me that! (Rachel's eyebrows raise, surprised at the stern tone. Rachel loses her smile catching sight in her peripheral vision of a disturbed Orla. She hands Gill the knife.) That's awful. It's bloody awful. (Rachel sucks in her bottom lip, surprised to be reprimanded.)
Rachel: Sorry? (Gill's mobile rings. Gill closes her eyes, she's not angry with Rachel and didn't want it to come across that way. She was simply infuriated by the idea that Rachel's father's idea of a game was to torment her and physically put her in danger.) Gill, it might be the hospital. It might be Janet.
Gill: Right. (Gill walks over to where her mobile is plugged in. She answers.) Gill Murray. (After years of having a title she still hasn't adjusted to answer the phone like a proper civilian.)
DC Barkley: (on phone) Hello Mrs. Murray. This is DC Lionell Barkley.
(At the hospital. Janet paces.)
Janet: This is ridiculous. I need to see my fiance.
DC Reed: Do you know of anyone who might want to hurt Adam? (Janet closes her eyes and tears slide down her cheeks. She was torn between her love and loyalties to these two men. She felt her first real pang of regret and pity, knowing she was going to have to tell the truth. Janet's glassy blue eyes meet with DC Reed's.)
Janet: My boyfriend. My, ex-boyfriend.
DC Reed: Boyfriend?
Janet: I called it off with him the other day because I love Adam and we're meant to be getting married. It was just physical.
DC Barkley: So you were having an affair? (Janet nods with the shameful admission. As she expected, the female DC Reed was more sympathetic to her tears.)
DC Reed: What's your ex's name?
Janet: (sighs) He's the one who phoned 999. He's the one who phoned me and told me to head to the hospital. So I know it was him. I know he was at the house. I can't. (More tears fall. Janet covers her face for a second.) I can't believe he'd be so reckless.
DC Barkley: What's his name Sargent?
Janet: DCI Daniel Melligan, from Manchester Metro's Serious Crimes division. (DC Barkley steps away to make a phone call. DC Reed steps closer to Janet, keying into her want for discretion.)
DC Reed: How do you know that he was with Adam before the event?
Janet: It's like I said he phoned. He rang my…(she pauses and thinks back to receiving the call.) He called me from Adam's phone. He probably rang 999 from his mobile as well.
DC Reed: Why would he do that?
Janet: He knew I wouldn't answer a call from him. Not since I broke it off. (Janet looks over to DC Barkley who is clearly reported to his superior officer. She wipes another tear.) Please, I need to see Adam. I need to be with him.
DC Reed: Just a few more minutes Sargent Scott.
(Back at Gill's. Everyone besides Orla is sat at Gill's table with their coffees and teas. Despite her protests to "Please sit with Aunt Gill", Rachel has made Charlotte stay seated in her lap. Rachel keeps her arms wrapped around her daughter and nuzzles, much to Charlotte's annoyance, her face into Charlotte's sweet curls. Rachel was still feeling rather vulnerable and embarrassed. In her attempt to lighten the mood, her knife-game was ill received, she had startled Sammy by interfering with his innocent game, made Orla cry and unloaded personal information unto Gill. If she could disappear right now, she would. She was lucky to have Charlotte but she never felt that sentiment worked the other way. As she looks around the room, Rachel feels like an unnecessary observer and a leech on these people's joy.)
Orla: (approaches the table with her cake, beaming ear to ear) Here we go. (She places the cake down between Sammy and Gill.)
Charlotte: Very pretty cake Orla. You did a good job.
Orla: Cheers Charlie. (Rachel shushes Charlotte in her ear and Charlotte leans away from her mother slightly, side eyeing her, unsure why she's being so restrained.) I've baked this with a little surprise inside.
Gill: Arsenic? (All of the adults laugh, including Rachel, who still does her best to hide behind Charlotte's hair.)
Orla: No. The surprise is the baby's sex.
Sammy: You've baked penises inside?
Gill: Oiy! Language.
Charlotte: Aunt Gill. I know penises. (All adults are struggling to not laugh except the blushing and mortified Rachel.)
Rachel: What she means is-
Charlotte: Penises are private places that we don't touch and are boys. And pa-ginas are what girls have and you don't touch those either. Unless you're a doctor.
Gill: That's exactly right Charlotte. Well done.
Charlotte: I don't think you should put them in cakes Orla.
Orla: (laughs) No, I certainly haven't. What I've done, is I made this cake special. When you cut into it. (She hands Sammy a cake knife) If it's blue inside it'll be a boy and if it's pink inside it will be a girl. (Orla hands Rachel her phone.) Record his reaction?
Rachel: (Already holding the phone in place.) Sure thing. (Whispers to Charlotte) Be very quiet and very still, alright? (Charlotte doesn't answer but folds her arms.)
Orla: Ready? (Sammy holds the knife over the cake grinning. Rachel's recording. He almost presses it into the layer of white frosting but then retracts it.)
Sammy: I'm nervous now. (Gill pushes Sammy's hand down and everyone laughs. Gill claps her hands eagerly.)
Gill: Go on, do the other side. (Rachel smiles again. It's been awhile since Rachel's seen Gill's excited impatience. This was the same energy she would have when she was ready to make an arrest. Rachel misses those days, when Gill was in charge.)
Sammy: Alright, alright. (he cuts the other side and carefully pulls the piece from the cake. His face lights up and Gill strains her neck to see. Sammy lifts the plate presenting the result to the camera.) A girl!
Gill: (coos) A girl! (Rachel isn't sure she's ever heard Gill's voice so soft. Sammy stands and kisses Orla and Rachel catches it all on the mobile.)
Charlotte: Yay! A sister! (She claps her hands obstructing the view of the camera. Rachel stops recording.)
Rachel: No darling, the baby is not your sister.
Charlotte: Why not? It's a girl. Girls are sisters and boys are brothers.
Rachel: Yes Charlie, but, the baby is in Orla's tummy, not mine. So, it's Orla's baby. She's going to be the Mummy.
Charlotte: So, what am I?
Rachel: What do you mean?
Charlotte: Am I a cousin?
Rachel: (smirks at the smiling but watching eyes of the Murray's) No darling you and the baby, you're just mates.
Charlotte: Why? I want to be a cousin.
Rachel: That's not how-
Orla: Charlie, you can be the baby's cousin.
Charlotte: Yay! (She bounces up and down on her mother's lap.)
Rachel: (rolls her eyes) Cheers.
Orla: Sammy and I are both only children. So, (she touches her stomach) our little one will need cousins.
Rachel: That's very kind. Thank you.
Sammy: Did you want a slice? (Rachel looks to Sammy and sees that he's cut a slice for himself and Gill.)
Rachel: Just a sliver for the two of us. We'll share.
Charlotte: No! Please. I want my own cake.
Rachel: No, because Mummy actually wants to sleep tonight. Don't need the sugar high.
Orla: Don't worry. I've used very very little sugar. I used a vegan recipe.
Rachel: Oh. Still, I reckon we can share.
Charlotte: (flings her head back) Nooooo.
Gill: Oh, that sounds like someone wants a timeout.
Rachel: Do you want a timeout?
Charlotte: (shouts) No! I want a cake!
Gill: That tone sounds like a timeout, doesn't it Mummy?
Rachel: It does. Stop whining.
Charlotte: Noooo I want my own cake!
Gill: Mummy, why don't you take Charlotte and let her sit by herself in the lounge and think about her tone.
Charlotte: No! No timeout!
Rachel: Well, you're not acting like someone who wants cake. So, (she obeys Gill and lifts Charlotte. Charlotte begins loudly crying. Rachel is again embarrassed. She whispers to Charlotte.) If you don't stop this attitude, I will give you pow-pows.
Charlotte: (screams) No Pow-pows!
Rachel: Stop it now. (She places Charlotte down.) If you stop now, you won't get pow-pows. (Charlotte blinks her eyes and takes a few gasping breaths attempting to control her tears. Calmly but sternly.) You sit here and calm down and Mummy will share cake with you. (Charlotte wipes her eyes and nods. Rachel pets her daughter's head and returns to the table. To Gill.) Sorry. (to Orla, jokes) That's what you've got to look forward to. (Orla smiles the polite unbelieving smile that every non-parent wears, when they still have hope that their child "would never". Rachel looks to Gill's frozen and tight lipped smile. Gill's eye move between Rachel and Sammy before she carefully picks up her napkin and spits out a mouthful of cake. Rachel smirks and averts her eyes.)
Sammy: Mum!
Gill: (guzzles tea) Oh god! I'm sorry Sammy. Orla, dear lord, what in the bloody hell have you done to this cake?
Orla: (blushes) I didn't want to use any food coloring, because of the sugar, and red dye, so- (Rachel cuts a small piece with her fork and is about to raise it to her mouth but Gill gently places her hand on Rachel's and guides the fork back down to the plate.)
Gill: Don't.
Orla: So, I used beet juice. Is it really that awful?
Sammy: No love! Mum is being overly dramatic. (He glares at Gill and then takes a mouthful of cake. He chews and both Gill and Rachel watch intently. His face twists before he quickly spits out the cake.)
Orla: Oh no. Oh no! (Gives way to tears.)
Sammy: Did you put any sugar at all? (Orla pushes away from the table and rushes out of the room.) Darling? Love? (He gets up from the table and pursues her. When they hear one of the doors at the end of the hall close, Gill looks to Rachel who fights her smile and Gill bursts into laughter. This instantly makes the tight feeling in Rachel's chest release and she joins Gill in quiet laughter.)
Gill: I'm sorry that I snapped at you earlier when you showed me the knife game. (Rachel shrugs) I was frightened. It was frightening and you really are...very good at it.
Rachel: (smiles) I used to be faster.
Gill: And that frightens me as well. Because it makes me think you had to play that game quite alot. (Rachel's shoulders curl in and she crosses her arms. She realizes Gill is asking her to open up and Gill realizes Rachel's movements are a physical way of emotionally protecting herself.)
Rachel: Not really, no. Not as much as you might think. I rarely picked the correct hand. So…
Gill: That's sort of worse.
Rachel: And as you know I like to learn from my mistakes. So, the first time obviously I was horrid. I got my finger only one time through. Game Over. I didn't think we'd play it ever again, until we did. And second time round, I was still rubbish. So, that night, I got a pencil from my school bag and I practiced, rubber side down. It's quiet and it didn't hurt. Then the next time, I was ready.
Gill: I'm sure you found tons of clever ways to survive that environment. And I'm sorry and appalled on your behalf that you were treated so poorly. You really are a stand up woman. A truly truly remarkable person and you deserved better.
Rachel: (laughs lightly and makes a dismissive) Pfth. (She sips her tea and to Gill appears bashful.)
Gill: I'm glad you feel comfortable opening up to me.
Rachel: (tilts her head jokingly and wiggles her fingers) Well, we're mates now.
Gill: We are. We are and I don't imagine it's easy talking about it.
Rachel: I've actually never told anyone that before.
Gill: Where was Allison in all of this?
Rachel: She was a teenager herself. She was supporting the household, almost completely on her own. I don't know there would've been anything she could do.
Gill: (incredulous) Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles?
Rachel: My Mum's mum was in a home. She had Alzheimers. My mum's sister, Ginny, they never got on. I liked her but my mum always said Aunt Ginny was a snobby cow. She fell in love with Uncle Emmett and they got married after my twelfth birthday, and buggered off to Germany around the same time Mum left us. Me Dad, well, he was raised in foster care. He grew up in the system and it was all he knew. He would always bang on about how horrible it was and how lucky Dom and I were to have him, and Ali, and our house. Because it could always be worse. (Gill raises her eyebrows and Rachel shrugs) He was right. Because look what happened to poor Zoe.
Gill: There's no excuse for treating your kids like that.
Rachel: I really can't imagine. (She looks over to Charlotte.) I know I threaten her with pow-pows. But (whispers) I can't. I've only ever done it once and when I saw her eyes shut, ready for my hand, I just- (sucks in her bottom lip) I couldn't. I can't. (She blinks away her tears and sips her tea.) Sorry I didn't mean to drop all that on you.
Gill: Don't be sorry. Like I said, we're mates. Mates listen.
Sammy: (returns) Alright, uh, we're going to go.
Gill: What? No. (Shouts) Orla! (The flat door shuts and Gill raises her eyebrows both shocked and amused.) Well, I never-
Sammy: I mean, what did you think was going to happen mum? You spit out her cake, right in front of her.
Gill: (scoffs) You did too.
Sammy: (fights a smile trying his best to stick to his wife's side) I know but-
Gill: It was bloody awful.
Sammy: She's really hurt Mum.
Gill: She's hormonal. Tell her, it's alright. Next Sunday, I'll teach her, we'll make a cake together.
Sammy: We'll see if she's speaking to me by Sunday. (He kisses his mother on the cheek and goes over to Charlie for a hug. Charlie mopes but hugs Sammy goodbye.) See you tomorrow Rach.
Rachel: Bye bye.