Part XXIII

"I told you not to wear those shoes!" Xander panted.

"Like I'm going to listen to your fashion critiques," Dawn said, her voice bouncing in time with Xander's steps as she was currently flung over his shoulder.

"When I tell you you won't be able to run for your life in a pair of shoes it's not a 'fashion critique', it's a life critique."

"Point made, Xander," she snapped. "Next time we go anywhere I'll be sure to dress like evil undead priests and ancient vampires will be chasing us. Happy?"

"Ecstatic."

"…I think you can slow down now. It's probably going to take it while to chew through Kennedy, she looks like she's full of gristle."

"Jesus, Dawn!"

"I was kidding! Chill out," she said with an eye roll, trying to ignore the fact that Xander's sweat was seeping through his t-shirt onto her. "I mean, she's probably fine… right?"

"…right."

Out of the alley and back on a main street, Xander finally sat Dawn back on her feet. She straightened her clothes and looked around self-consciously but the few people around didn't even give them a second look, making Dawn fell like she was back in Sunnydale for a moment.

"So, what was that exactly?" She said, glancing at Xander as he watched down the dark alley.

"Caleb," Xander growled out the name.

"Yeah, but why was he fighting with the ubervamp?"

"We were hanging out with the undead high priest eye poker and you're worried about why Thing One and Thing Two aren't BFFs?"

"Well, yeah! Was it just a case of Evil Domestic Dispute, arguing over who got to kill us, or are they actually enemies? We can use that information!"

"How?"

"I- I can't do everything, Xander! Someone else can figure out that part!" She huffed throwing her hands up. Really, you'd think he'd appreciate her pointing important stuff out instead of nagging on the stuff she didn't know.

"Like who?" He asked. "Because I only see you and me here."

"Like her!" Dawn said, pointing her finger to the car sliding to a stop in front of them.

"You got so lucky on that timing," he said, sounding more awed than put out.

"I know, it was pretty awesome though…"

Her sister burst out of the car like a rouge tootie roll from a piñata, slamming into Dawn and almost taking her ear off with scythe clutched in her hand.

"Buffy- pointy weapon- face- and breathing," she gasped.

"Oh! Sorry! Are you okay? You look okay. Cute shoes," Buffy said after she stepped away and looked her up and down. Dawn shot a triumphant look at Xander but judging by the eyeroll he still didn't get it.

He moved in next, eyes watching the scythe warily but words sincere as he hugged her next. "Glad to see you up and about, Buffster."

Buffy's coma recovery was forgotten though, as Kevin's cop friends jumped out of the car with-

"It's not me!" Castle said, hands shooting into the air. "I mean, it is me. I'm me. But there's another not me."

"Kinda obvious when he got all murderous," Dawn said. "No offence, but you're kind of a weenie."

"Weenie's good, I'll take weenie," Castle said, still eyeing Xander like he was about to attack him.

"Murderous? We heard gunshots. Where's Kennedy?" Buffy asked.

"Down there," Xander nodded toward the alley.

"Oh god, she not- Willow will-" Buffy started, face going pale.

"She's not dead, she was just distracting them so we could make a run for it," Dawn said. "We came for an ubervamp, we weren't ready for Caleb with a gun. We were going to split and regroup."

"Wait, you just left her with him?" Beckett put in from behind them.

"She told us to go!" Xander's voice inched too high in his defensiveness, giving it a shriek-ish quality that made Dawn wince. He gave her an apologetic look before continuing in a more normal voice. "She said she couldn't fight them and protect us and for us just to-"

"'Get the fuck out of the way,'" Dawn quoted.

She ignored the way all of them but Buffy glanced at her shoes then.

"Them?" Castle asked.

"The ubervamp we were looking for actually showed up," Dawn said.

The three non-Scoobies simultaneously took a step back from the mouth of the alley. Apparently undead priests were one thing, ancient gross looking vampires were another. Fair enough.

"So, what exactly happened?" Esposito asked. "We know you were going to pick up Kev, but got Castle's evil twin instead. Did they ambush you?"

"Not exactly…" Xander said.

"We thought Kennedy just had some bad tacos, but I guess she was actually sensing Caleb, she just didn't know what it was," Dawn said.

"Caleb directed us down this way, said it was the last place one of the girls got killed," Xander added.

"No, it wasn't-" Kate started, then paused. "Unless we just haven't come across the body yet…"

"I think he actually intended to make it a murder scene," Xander said. "He pulled out the gun and the southern accent not too far into the evening."

"Typical man, too eager to get to the action," Dawn mumbled.

"What happened next?" Buffy said, moving toward the alley swiftly.

Dawn scratched her head as she fell in with the others behind her sister, trying to figure out how much to say. The beginning didn't really paint her in a flattering light…

Dawn had been in a lot of "it happened so fast" situations. Not "he grabbed my purse and ran, it happened so fast I didn't get a good look at him" or "it happened so fast, the car just came out of nowhere" type deals, more "it happened so fast because it was literal magic" or "it happened so fast because that demon's arm moved faster than the human eye can see" situations. So, she wasn't a stranger to crap hitting the fan and her having to play catch-up later. That combined with the sound of gunshots and the fact that Buffy just warned her about an imposter in their group should've meant she'd give Kennedy the benefit of the doubt when the slayer tackled her to the ground.

Instead she grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked as hard as she could.

"Oh bitch, I've been waiting for this moment since you stole shotgun. I called it!"

She tried to push herself up further, but her elbow slipped in some alley scum, making her lose her grip and allowing Kennedy to pull her hair free (also, her hair was super soft, which really just pissed Dawn off more – what secret conditioner was she using?).

"What the hell, Dawn?!" She screeched down at her while rubbing the side of her head.

It was then Dawn caught the weird sight of the weenie writer and the Ubervamp kicking the crap out of each other.

Wait… not the weenie writer…

"Caleb! It's Caleb! Buffy just called and she's with the real Castle!"

"Then why the hell are they fighting?" Xander asked, appearing out of nowhere after having gotten the hell out of the way of the girl-fight that almost happened.

"I knew it wasn't bad tacos!" Kennedy crowed triumphantly. "I could just tell he was evil!"

"Don't get too excited, it just means your Evil Sensing Face looks the same as Diarrhea Face," Dawn said, unimpressed.

Before things could fall back into hair pulling again, there was a nasty growl and the Turok Han was thrown into the side of a dumpster. Caleb, face half bloody and smiling maniacally, grabbed something off the ground and pointed it at them.

"'It is mine to avenge; I will repay'," he said as Dawn realized it was a gun he had. He must've dropped it in the scuffle with the vamp but now was ready to get back to the shooting part of the night.

She went to run, but tripped on what looked like an old sub from a forgotten time and fell into both Kennedy and Xander - probably saving all of their lives, thank you! But no, Kennedy yelled at Xander to get himself and Dawn the hell out of there, because she couldn't fight and keep them safe, which then Dawn quipped that was kind of what a Slayer was about, but then Xander grabbed her and ran, so…

"Well, the ubervamp popped up and started fighting Caleb, so Kennedy told us to run."

"And you did? I thought that was the point of you going tonight, to find it and kill it? Why did you two even go if you were just going to run away when it showed?" Esposito asked.

Xander gave him a meaningful look and then looked at Dawn's shoes.

"Are you saying a woman can't fight if she's wearing shoes with a heel?" Kate asked, not missing Xander's look and glancing down at her own heeled boots and then at Buffy's chunkier, but still heeled shoes.

"Of course not!" He said, voice in that high pitched range again. "I'm saying Dawn can't- OW!"

Dawn gracefully moved passed him without so much as a wobble after kicking him in the ass with the shoe he was condemning.

"How are any of you still alive?" Esposito wondered, giving them all a bewildered look.

Castle on the other hand was gleefully scribbling in his notebook, even though there was no way he could see what he was writing in this alley. Despite his unfortunate looks, Dawn couldn't help but like him as he whispered, "This new book is going to be amazing."

"Royalties," she chirped.

"Done," he said without missing a beat.

"Enough," Buffy said, silencing them all as they came to a bend in the alley. Dawn swallowed hard as the sounds of a fight came drifting toward them. Despite hating her with the passion of a thousand suns, Dawn really hoped they weren't about to walk into sea of Kennedy parts. Buffy went first, low and ready with the scythe. Then stopped and straightened, rolling her eyes.

"Really?"

Peeking around the corner, Dawn saw that Kennedy was leaning against a wall, just watching the two big bads fight it out. After a startled moment of wide-eyed staring, like a kid who'd been caught doing something they weren't supposed to, she straightened up and walked towards them.

"We were worried about you!" Dawn exaggerated. "And you were just enjoying the-"

She gasped as realization struck her.

"You were waiting for them to tire each other out, or one to kill the other one, then you were going to take credit for both! So you could pretend to be better at slaying than Buffy!"

Kennedy at least looked fake outraged.

"I was not. I was conserving my energy! Why fight both of them right now when I could wait and let one of them do the dirty work for me? It's called fighting smart, which you wouldn't know anything about," she said, giving Dawn's shoes a look.

"Oh we are so going to finish what I started earlier," Dawn said, lunging forward before the handle of the scythe stopped her.

"Dawn, not now," Buffy said, sounding exasperated. "And try to have a little compassion for the less graceful that have to fight in ugly footwear."

The sudden gunshot made them all jump and duck, only to find the shot came from their side.

Kate spun on her cop friend. "Espo? What the hell?!"

"That son of a bitch stabbed Kev, I'm not going to sit here and argue about shoes."

"Uh, yeah to all that, but did you forget where he was brought back from the dead," Castle squeaked.

"Wait, 'stabbed Kev'?" Dawn asked, a hard knot forming in her chest. Oh god, if Buffy tragically lost another man she was going to join a monastery.

Buffy didn't say anything, just tightened her grip on her scythe. Even though she wanted to, Dawn didn't press. She was going to take comfort in the fact he said "stabbed" and not "killed".

Ahead of them, the two big bads were no longer fighting each other, but now looking at their ragtag group. Caleb was pinning the Turok Han to the ground face first where it was looking just as shocked at the sound of the gun as the rest of them. Caleb, on the other hand, was looking down at irritation at the new hole in the front of his coat – but with irritation, not pain.

Esposito swallowed hard enough for all of them to hear as his bravado disappeared.

"Bullets don't hurt them?" He stage whispered.

"Have you never seen a zombie movie?" Castle asked, looking disgusted. "Of course bullets don't work on the undead!"

"My brother, we finally come face to face," Caleb called, the genial smile and smooth southern accent at odds with the situation.

"Brother?" Castle said breathlessly.

"Well, in the spiritual sense," Caleb shrugged. "This must've been God's plan for us – to not be blood but look as if we were."

Castle let out a long sigh, leaning forward on his knees. "Thank God – well, not your freaky God – I really didn't want to start wondering if my mother made it with a demon at some point."

"We can't let them leave this alley," Buffy said softly with a glance at Kennedy.

"Funny that I was thinking the same thing about you," Caleb said with a smirk and pointed at his ears. "Not the only one with super powers any more, little lady. This should be fun."

"Wolfram and Hart gave you more power than the First?" Dawn couldn't help but ask.

"Not 'gave', little whore," he said, ignoring Dawn's outraged squawk. "What I took. They thought they could hold me-"

"Ughhhhh," Buffy groaned loudly, posture drooping. "Do we have to do the thing where you explain your evil plan? I hate this part…"

Castle spun toward her, notebook and pen already out and puppy eyes working full force. "Can he? Please please please? I need it for the book."

"Fine," Buffy relented with an irritated wave at a befuddled looking Caleb. "Go for it, but make it snappy."

"After our fight-"

"Where I cut you in half?" Buffy asked smugly.

"A representative of the fine establishment of Wolfram and Hart-"

"Came and put humpty dumpty back together and shoved you in a curio cabinet of evil," Dawn interrupted with an eye roll. "We know this part."

Caleb opened his mouth, but a new voice cut him off before he could continue.

"At Wolfram and Hart we provide many services, one of which is conservation of rare artifacts – which these two are," Slaughter said, stepping out of the shadows behind Caleb. "Artifacts that will be returning to their proper place. At any cost."