Author's note:

Ok, so chapter two of three. Yes, I know some of you are probably still aggrieved that it's not two of six, but you'll thank me for it come next week... Kim Possibly? Yeah, yeah, terrible joke, I know, but what are you going to do about it? *author has to run at the sight of pitchforks and torches.*

Moving on, I wrote an initial draft of this chapter, loved it and then went to bed. Next day, I woke up and something about it started to nag at me. After I came home from work the next day, I had to go back and read it to try and figure out what was wrong. In the end, while I still loved the initial version, it just didn't seem to fit with where Shego is at right now. So, I had to rework it until it did. I slightly gutted, truth be told, as I thought it was a really good scene but one that I now won't get to use, even if, when the time comes, I have to write something with a similar sort of sentiment.

As for the chapter title, running over the same old ground is a lyric from the Pink Floyd track Wish You Were Here, from their sensational 1975 album of the same name. In fact, not only is it my favourite Pink Floyd album, it is my favourite record of all time, period. I actually have three different vinyl copies of it, not that you needed to know that, lol. Regardless, not only is it a good fit for the events of this chapter, but it is also a little bit of a dig at myself for having had Shego do the same thing in each of the last updates. Seriously, I need to give that girl some variety in her life. In fact, for you eagle-eyed readers, you'll spot a similar in-joke within the chapter itself.

Anyway, enjoy and I'll see you in a bit for the last chapter of this update.

##

Chapter twenty-six: Running over the same old ground

Shego cut the Blackbird's engine, kicked down the stand and hopped off. Having ridden at breakneck speed without a helmet, her hair was, put mildly, windswept to the max. Closing the garage door, she made her way into the house and headed straight upstairs to change into some loungewear and run a brush through her wild raven hair. After that, she headed into the living room, her eyes immediately falling on the sofa. Lounged atop a cushion; amidst a sea of cheese balls, was Ru-Ru, his pink belly positively bulging.

"Looks like someone had fun," Shego commented offhandedly, as she fetched a glass from her liquor cabinet.

She laughed lightly when his beady eyes lazily turned to look at her and he mumbled, "cheese," in a tone not dissimilar to that she would associate with a stoner.

Heh, whacked out on cheese balls. If only the rest of us could blow our minds so easily. She gave a passing thought to whether she could use an illicit substance to escape from little Miss Go but quickly rejected it. Her glow had even less of a liking for drugs than it did for alcohol. Damn my stupid superpower for not letting me get high. She set the glass alongside the bottle of whisky Killigan had given her on the table and then sat down with her back against the corner of the sofa.

"So, enjoy your night of freedom?" she asked the naked-mole-shark.

"Uh-hu, uh-hu," Ru-Ru replied, his tongue lolling outside his mouth.

Her gaze travelled to the TV, a replacement for the one she'd obliterated two weeks prior. It displayed a scene depicting two individuals, an elderly man and a blonde-haired woman, sitting at a table; each with a katana. Shego recognised it as the climax to Kill Bill volume two. It instantly put her in mind of her social encounters with Kimmie. Two individuals with a long and complicated history between them, who could sit talking and drinking for as long as they liked, but who would inevitably end up fighting each other.

Shego glanced at Ru-Ru, "I bet Amy never let you sit and watch something this violent."

The naked-mole-shark's eyes were glued to the screen, but nevertheless, he shook his head, "ut-uh."

She laughed, "you really are a bloodthirsty little sod."

Ru-Ru nodded quickly, before saying, "shhh."

Shego shook her head in amusement and busied herself with the task of pouring herself a drink. Swirling the whisky in the glass, she absentmindedly watched as the inevitable fight broke out. At least when Kimmie and I fight it's not to kill. Although, I wonder just how intense it would be if that were the case?

"Well, you know what it's like when she tries to kill you," Miss Go said, her voice effortlessly slipping into Shego's thoughts.

The woman's words brought with them the memory of the night Kimmie had kicked her into that electrical tower. Yeah, really don't fancy going through that again. It really fucking hurt and then those police bastards hit me with that damn serum to suppress my glow before I had a chance to heal myself. I was in pain for days afterwards.

"I'm glad you remember," Miss Go said before her tone switched to one of incomprehension, "so why on earth did you purposefully poke her with a very sharp stick? Do you want her to get that angry at you again?"

She needs to get angry or she'll end up stuck in a very long and drawn-out period of denial. You know how stubborn she is, Shego replied as she sniffed the whisky.

"And how does making her angry at you help?" Miss Go countered.

Because her issues with her sexuality are inseparably tied to me.

"Well, if that isn't narcissistic, I don't know what is."

It's not narcissistic if it's true. Shego took a sip of the whisky and rolled it around her tongue, picking up faint hints of fruit, caramel and spice. Before Miss Go could ask her for proof, she added, Princess is too set in her beliefs to have even thought about questioning her sexuality without provocation; despite how bad a breakup she might have had with the buffoon. The world's told her she should be straight and so that's that. The only reason it's even come about is because I provoked it with that date comment after we fought two weeks ago. She's now questioning her sexuality because she's unsure whether or not she likes me.

"Wow, it almost sounds like you've thought this through."

What do you mean 'almost'? Shego replied, aware that she was probably skirting dangerously close to yet another pitfall trap. The woman seemed to dig more of those than Team Rocket.

Surprisingly, it was with slight dismay that Miss Go replied, "an angry Kimmie doesn't help you any. You know she's liable to dig in her heels and fight every step of the way. And even if she does eventually accept that she likes girls, she's liable to resent you for it."

For once, she didn't even bother to try and argue the woman's point. She'd already been well aware of the Possible eventuality of her little plasma ball stunt, but fired it anyway. This isn't about me…

Her words rendered Miss Go speechless for a few moments, in which Shego was able to take a completely uninterrupted drink. Her gaze travelled to the TV screen and then to the naked-mole-shark sat next to her. The credits were now rolling and Ru-Ru appeared to have slipped into a cheese ball induced daze. What am I going to do with you? she managed to ponder for a brief moment.

"Ok, back up. Did you actually just say that this isn't about you?" Miss Go finally managed to say in astonishment.

Yeah, I did.

"Ok… who the hell are you and what have you done with Shego? Did she actually use one of Dr Drakken's mind-altering pieces of junk and transplant me into someone else's brain? Oh God, am I now inside Drakken's head?" Miss Go said, her voice dripping with astounded amusement, "I don't want to be inside Drakken's head."

A thin smile spread across Shego's lips and a light laugh escaped from behind them. What? Surprised that I might actually do something that isn't selfish?

"Well, doy! I wasn't aware that I had rubbed off enough on you yet to get you to do something that was not for your benefit."

Let's just say you reminded me of how shit it was to go through the whole sexuality issue, she admitted, albeit somewhat grudgingly. It had been a rare moment and even though she had still felt angry at Kimmie for leading her on, she could not help but empathise with her rival, to the point that she had been compelled to assist in her own unique way. No one should have to go through the hell I did. Unfortunately, Kimmie's in the exact same boat. Living in a conservative community, where her parents, friends, teachers and society have all told her she should be straight and with no one she can talk to about it.

"Then why didn't you try talking to her? Instead of setting some poor boy's jumper on fire," Miss Go admonished.

You heard her as clearly as I did tonight. She was still too entrenched in denial to talk to me about the fact that she's gay. Besides, after Friday night, she's not likely to want to sit down and talk to me and I sure as hell don't want to sit down and talk with her.

"If that's true, then why bother trying to help her in the first place?"

I might hate her for leading me on, but like I said, no one deserves to go through the same hell I did; not even Kimmie. She finished off the contents of her glass and let out a long sigh, I really must be going soft.

"Having empathy for someone isn't going soft," Miss Go stated firmly. "However, we can deal with your wider emotional issues at a later date. For now, let's stay focused on Kimmie. How is this going to help her?"

Shego rolled her eyes at having to explain her reasoning to her own mind. She really did hate it when she did something un-Shego like, as she always had to sit and justify it to herself after the event. For me, anger was the stage after denial. When you're in complete denial, you can still burry most of your thoughts about your sexuality. However, once you hit anger, you can't control them as easily, even though you still won't accept the truth. And since, in Kimmie's head, the issue is intertwined with me, making her angry at me will keep digging up the question of her sexuality.

"Oh, now that is clever," Miss Go said in approval.

Why thank you, Shego replied smugly. It was not often she got any sort of endorsement from that part of her brain.

"Kimmie's going to be angry at you until the next time you fight at the very least."

Exactly and if she doesn't win, that fire will only continue to rage. All the while, she'll keep dragging up the issue of her sexuality. Sooner or later, all she'll need is some sort of catalyst to induce a serious gay thought and she'll spiral into stage three, fear. After that, there'll be no going back. She'll eventually hit bargaining; where she tries to argue that while she might find girls attractive, she still likes boys…

"… then finally reaches acceptance that she is either gay or bisexual."

Shego poured herself another drink. My money says she's a lesbian. Her poor track record with boys, not to mention tonight's shit show, pretty much rules out bisexuality. Heh, I don't even want to imagine how difficult it would be for her to accept that she likes girls if she was bisexual.

Miss Go laughed lightly, "now that would have been a problem," before her tone turned serious again, "I take it you intend to be the catalyst that sends her into fear."

No way, Shego thought hastily and quickly took a drink, as though trying to drown the woman's words out. I told you. I'm doing this purely because I don't think even Kimmie deserves to suffer for the length of time that I did. Not because I'm in any way interested in her beyond fighting her.

"Ok," Miss Go said calmly, as she would to a pupil who was moments away from flying off the handle, "I sense that you're still feeling burned after what happened on Friday night." She then hastily added, "which is perfectly understandable, given that it was only two days ago."

I made a mistake on Friday night and in the lead up to it, Shego spat, feeling a flash of anger towards Kimmie for leading her on, but more so at herself for allowing it to happen in the first place. I won't let it happen again.

"Now you're beginning to sound like your usual self." Miss Go then let out a sigh, "and I thought we were making genuine progress."

Shut it.

"And now you're snapping at me. Guess normal service has been resumed."

Normal service will be resumed once Kimmie gets this out her system and we go back to trading petty insults and beating the crap out of each other, while Dr D bumbles about trying to take over the world. Unfortunately, Shego could not mask the bitterness she felt upon having that thought.

Matters were quickly made worse when Miss Go leapt upon it. "Admit it, you don't want things to go back to normal."

I will not! She downed the rest of her drink. And I'd be much happier if I could return to normal service, whereby I don't end up spending every other night sitting here trying to drink you into oblivion. Do you know how much TV I've missed because of you?

Miss Go laughed, "if you cared that much about TV, you would have tried to watch it in order to shut me up already."

You know, I do actually like TV.

"Maybe, but you like Kimmie more. And deep down, I think you know that. Which is why, as much as you might hate me and want to drown me out, you keep coming back to this very spot with some booze to have it out with me."

Shego felt her glow activate, but managed to keep her hands from erupting into balls of green plasma. I do not keep coming back here because I want to talk to you! If I could be shot of you, I would be.

"No, you wouldn't," Miss Go replied matter-of-factly. "Hate to break it to you, Cupcake, but you need me."

I do not!

"Yes, you do. You're so stuck within the narrow parameters that you constructed for Shego, that whenever you want to do something that falls out with them, you need me to help justify it. Including anything Kimmie related that isn't beating her to a pulp."

That's a load of bullshit!

"No, it isn't. The only exceptions to that rule occur on nights like tonight, where you feel compelled to do something un-Shego like. That's when we swap roles and you have to justify to me why you acted the way you did."

Given that she had been forced to use her glow on the way home to sober up (she probably would have crashed otherwise), Shego had enough control to neatly set her glass down on the table, stand up and walk out of the living room. However, that did not stop her from internally uttering a harsh, shut up! Crossing the hall, she opened the door to the basement, locked it behind her and descended the stairs. As soon as she was within the safe confines of the mad-science-steel reinforced room, she allowed her hands to erupt in green plasma.

She had just hit the Wavemaster with a vicious four-punch combo, when Miss Go finally replied, "no, you need to listen to me."

No, I don't. Fore-fist-punch, reverse punch, inward-knife-hand, uppercut, spinning-backfist, Shego rattled off each technique with unnerving speed and precision. I don't have to do anything I don't want to.

Unfortunately, Miss Go was not to be deterred, "but that's the whole point! The entire reason for me annoying you is because you want to do something that falls out with the rules the Shego persona imposes upon you."

Shego took a step back into kicking range and lashed out with a front-snap-kick, side-kick, turning kick combo that she seamlessly transitioned into a reverse-turning-kick. The Wavemaster crashed to the floor and as it sprang back up, she jumped into the air and rattled off a series of four front-snap-kicks; just like Kimmie had been doing recently. News flash, I like being Shego.

"Ah, but you used to love being Shego," Miss Go retorted smoothly. "But something's changed. You're starting to realise that the constraints you place on yourself don't allow you to do everything you want."

She froze in the middle of a twin-knife-hand strike. The only things I stop myself from doing are things that I neither want nor need to do.

"Really? So why have you spent the past two weeks arguing with me over whether you can or can't spend time with Kimmie?"

Because I made a stupid mistake! Shego lashed out with a series of rolling punches.

"Sounds to me like someone else needs a good hard shove out of denial and into anger," Miss Go jabbed.

The resultant yell that she let out sounded like one that had come from someone who had literally just been poked with a very sharp stick and she shot a large blast of green plasma towards the wall. I am not in denial!

"Aren't you? Why don't you take a closer look at yourself and what you've done over the past two weeks? Or are you afraid of what you might find out about yourself?

Shego froze as the memories of the past two weeks, of that first evening with Kimmie in spritzers, their resultant dance, the two weeks she had spent arguing with Miss Go about whether she could spend time with the hero, the revelation that she found Princess very attractive and wanted to bed her and how genuinely angry she had been when things had gone south, raced through her mind.

"You're beginning to feel it, aren't you," Miss Go said in a kind, gentle tone.

Feel what? Shego replied, however, her tone lacked the venom it had held moments prior.

"The constraints of being you… of being Shego. And how they stop you from doing what you want."

She half-heartedly hit the Wavemaster with a punch and let out a long sigh, ok, fine, you're right.

"Good, I'm glad you're finally able to admit it to yourself," Miss Go replied, the woman's voice lacking the usual smugness it held when she managed to extract admittance from her. "Now, it's high time you did something about it."

Shego allowed her plasma to dissipate and her glow slowly faded. Why is this even happening to me? she asked as she shook her head. There were few things she hated more than having to accept that she was undergoing some form of inner turmoil and as Miss Go had pointed out, she'd been in denial over this one for two solid weeks.

While the question may have been rhetorical, she received an answer nonetheless, "because the empathy and compassion you showed towards Kim tonight was genuine. It highlighted everything you've been trying to escape from for the past two weeks and in a manner that you couldn't ignore… everything that you deny yourself by being Shego."

Ok, now you're just making stuff up, she thought as she crossed the room and headed back upstairs. However, she then added, but ok, any suggestions? She left the basement and found herself wandering back into the living room.

"My advice, start small. Do something un-Shego like that isn't completely earth-shattering." Miss Go then let out an amused laugh when her gaze fell upon the sofa. "Or maybe you already have."

Shego stared at the naked-mole-shark in his cheese-induced slumber, Ru-Ru?

"Exactly. You didn't turn him over to Drakken this morning, so he could be handed back to Amy. Why don't you let him stay for good?"

She thought about this for a moment. It wasn't the worst idea in the world. The naked-mole-shark had enough intelligence to look after himself, so it was not like she would ever need to rush home to let him out for the toilet. And she had become rather fond of the little terror. Nevertheless, she rolled her eyes, why do I get the feeling that I'm going to regret agreeing to this.

"Oh, you undoubtedly will when he wrecks something for the first time," Miss Go replied and she laughed again. "But I'm sure you'll enjoy teaching him the rules. Only you had best decide whether you want to run the risk of telling Amy that he's staying with you. Because you know what those crazy collector types are like. Even once she's moved onto her latest creation, she'll still want him back if she ever finds out you have him."

Good point. The last thing I need is for Amy to show up with an army of her more monstrous genetically spliced 'Cuddle Buddies' while I'm out and about. Shego picked up the bag of cheese balls and scooped those strewn around the naked-mole-shark back into it. She then took it to the kitchen, along with her glass and deposited the former in the cupboard and the latter in the sink. Returning to the living room, she added the new bottle of whisky to her collection inside the liquor cabinet.

"I think I'll leave you to decide how to handle Amy," Miss Go then said as Shego returned to the sofa and stared down at the cushion upon which Ru-Ru was sprawled; still fast asleep.

She snorted, that's probably the only thing you'll let me deal with by myself.

"Probably, but let's not get ahead of ourselves."

I must be losing my mind, Shego thought as she picked up the cushion. Taking her new roommate upstairs, she placed him down on the lounge chair, changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed. In hindsight, I suppose I've had worse nights recently. As if to illustrate this point, her mind served up clips of the night she had screamed herself into unconsciousness; when she'd been forced to endure the full brunt of the pain from her healing abilities and of two nights ago; when she had virtually collapsed from exhaustion after the violent explosion of her glow.

She settled down, only to receive one final parting remark from Miss Go, "you're doing the right thing. Who knows, maybe by the time Kim's ready, you'll be ready too."

Bite me, Shego replied in a playful manner as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift into unconsciousness.