COMA

Joey Sharkbait

2020

[Soundtrack: "COMA" by Issues]

I fought against my chains for nearly a day after Naraku left us.

I only stopped when my body decided to give out on me and attempt to catch a bit of sleep. I fought hard to keep my eyes open at all times, never wanting to take them off Sango, who lay in the cell across from mine, unconscious but visibly breathing. She moved every now and then, but never awoke. I was thankful she was alive but I needed to know she was alright. Like, more than surviving…

My chains shook, almost weak enough to be pulled from the wall. I could feel a break or two somewhere in the linkage. I growled and pulled again. The metal shackles dug into my wrists, blood coating the metal even more. I heard a screeching sound behind me, that of metal on stone.

Finally!

I pulled once more on my chains. The one holding my right arm finally snapped. I let my arm hang limply at my side, feeling the blood flow gradually return to a normal state. I held my hand in front of my face and flexed it, cracking my knuckles. I began to tamper one-handed with the shackle still holding my left wrist. After lots of prying, blood, and assistance from broken stones and metal, I was able to pry it open and free my other arm.

I allowed myself to fall to my knees, laying on the dirty, cold dungeon floor for a moment. I couldn't help the insane laugh that quietly left me. I slowly stood up and stumbled out of my cell. I paused, listening closely for any sign of Naraku or Kanna. After deciding the area was clear, I ineptly moved across the walkway and entered Sango's cell. I crouched down beside her and checked her pulse.

A wave of relief hit me at the confirmation that she was still alive. I placed my hand on her forehead; her temperature was a little warm. I brushed her hair back from her eyes. Sango moved her head a little, turning toward me, but she did not wake.

"Sango…" I whispered her name. She still did not awaken. I sat down and pulled her into my lap, gently running my hand through her hair.

The beautiful demon slayer was just as bad off as I was, at first glance. Bruises and cuts covered her body, most prevalent on her face, abdomen, back, and arms. Her left forearm was swollen and darkened with a sickly yellow and purple bruise. I could easily see where the bone was broken. Unnatural indentations on her sides showed me where broken ribs were; I counted three confirmed, just on one side. Claw marks and blood trailed her shoulders, chest, thighs, and hips.

"Oh, Sango…" A tear escaped my eye as I gazed over the slayer's injuries. The small drop landed on her bloodied cheek. I carefully wiped it away with my thumb. She stirred a little and attempted to move her broken arm. The faintest sound of pain left her lips with the failed movement.

"Hey," I carefully readjusted us, as my newly-healed ankle was quickly going numb. "Sango, are you in there?" Nothing.

I had to do something.

I stopped and thought really long and hard about our current situation.

We had both narrowly avoided death the previous day. I brought my hand to my left eye. It was no longer swollen and my eye socket felt solid once more. Demon regeneration was a blessing. I looked down at the sleeping taijiya in my lap. She would need lots of time to recover. Even if I could get her some needed medical attention and administer my healing salves.

Which is why I need to get her out of here…

I thought back to Naraku. He really didn't look good when he came to punish us. He looked almost like a feeble, decaying human man. His demonic aura was weak at best. I also distinctly remembered him making a comment about using the last of his energy to subdue Sango.

I was so mad at myself!

Indeed, the time of Naraku's chosen period of reconstruction and perceived powerlessness was upon us. I just incorrectly guessed the day to be a few too soon. That mistake had proven to be quite costly to myself and Sango. That's in the past now… I must plan ahead…

Naraku had not returned for us or even sent Kanna to spy. There was a good chance he had finally retreated to his secret chamber to begin his reconstruction period. Part of me was terrified to leave the dungeon, terrified that Naraku would be waiting outside or that I would leave to secure the area and come back to find Sango either dead or missing.

But what if my experience would be more akin to the allegory of the cave?

What do I have to lose?

I leaned down and left the gentlest kiss on Sango's forehead. My heart broke at the sight of her. I carefully moved her off of me. I was able to find her kimono nearby on the ground and draped it around her like a blanket, in a worn attempt to shield her vulnerable, battered form. I slowly arose and left the cell. I looked over my shoulder at her one last time.

"I will return for you, my dear… I have the beginnings of a plan. I promise I'll get you out of here. Just hang on for me."

My stealthy venture through the castle halls was remarkably successful. Not a sign of Naraku, Kanna, or the saimyosho. The entire place really did feel abandoned. The coast was clear from the dungeon to my wing of the castle. Thankfully, Naraku's reconstruction cellar was on the opposite end of the compound. Kanna was likely patrolling closer to him. Smart.

Naraku must have been either extremely eager to disappear or too confident in his victory over us. It just struck me as odd that he did not add even one extra layer of security to our current captivity. He was the one who ripped our cell doors off their hinges, after all. Speaking of security…

That means the barrier around the castle is probably weaker, too!

I smirked, my pace quickening as I made my way back to the dungeon to retrieve Sango. She was just as I left her, partially covered and oddly peaceful. I knelt down and carefully scooped her up into my arms. Sango whimpered in pain in her sleep and I found myself quietly apologizing repeatedly for her wounds.

I crept through the night like a thief, holding close the precious angel that I was stealing back from hell. The trip from the dungeons to my room felt like it took all night; my anxiety and heart rate were both sky-high the entire venture. In reality, it had only been less than half an hour. I shut the door as quietly as I could and leaned against it, still clutching the sleeping taijiya close to me. I listened for a moment, to be certain we had not been followed.

Once I deemed my mission successful, I brought Sango into the washroom and gently laid her on the floor. I went back to the main bedroom and found us each some clean clothes. I drew a bath for myself and managed to fill a bucket with clean water. I dipped a sponge into the bucket and wrung out the water. I carefully began wiping the dirt and blood from Sango's face.

"Hey, Sango," I ran my hand through her dark brown locks, "wake up. You're safe now." She made a small noise but did not wake. My heart sank a little. I shook her shoulder. She frowned and moved her head, still remaining asleep.

Please wake up… please… I sighed. I was unsure if she suffered a severe enough head injury during Naraku's beating to warrant infinite sleep. But I did know that she was gravely injured, regardless. I had never seen such maltreatment of a person in my life. I do not think Naraku had even ever been that cruel to me; and he had punished me quite severely in the past for various acts of rebellion and thinking for myself.

I stood up to discard the remainder of my shredded clothing. I glanced at myself in a mirror off to the side. Bruises and welts covered my pale skin, although they were already healing quickly. All that remained of my broken eye socket from last night was a dark purple bruise outlining my eye. I caught a glimpse of my back, almost throwing up in my mouth a little. The hideous spider-shaped scar was still there, sick and disgusting. A matching reminder of my tragic birth and malicious sire.

I growled and stepped toward my bath. I could see the steam rising from the water—a welcome sight for my sore bones. I initially planned on administering Sango a sponge bath but changed my mind upon acknowledgement of my impending delirium and the fact that she was just as disgusting as I was at the moment. I carefully picked her up and walked down the smooth stone steps into the bath.

Sango's hand moved to my shoulder as the hot water touched her damaged skin. Her fingers twitched and she loosely gripped my shoulder. I took that as a good sign. I set her in a seated position on the steps. I quickly cleansed myself before carefully bathing her. I was a lot slower in my care of her body as opposed to my own. She was far worse off than I was for the time being.

Although asleep, she tensed and shivered as I mindfully washed the blood and dirt from her body. I paused to take careful note of the kusarigama scar on her back. I traced the old wound with my fingertips. She got that scar from her younger brother… A weight pulled at my heart.

Soon enough, I dried each of us off and dressed myself. I then began tending to Sango's many injuries. Satisfied with my ministrations, I dressed her and carried her into the bedroom. I laid the slayer on my bed and rested beside her. I held her bandaged hand, brushing my thumb over her knuckles but mindful of her recent fracture.

I closed my eyes and bit back tears.

What if she doesn't wake up?

The thought frightened me to no end. I cared deeply for Sango. She was my first friend, the first person I really was able to develop any type of bond with. Our relationship clearly went deeper than friendship, though. I recognized and was beginning to embrace that. I think I could say I loved Sango as a friend by now; however, that feeling was growing.

Then it hit me: Love?

Is this what love feels like in its earliest stages? Is this love blooming forth from a seed of destruction, bearing fate's cruel nectar?

I looked to the girl beside me. She was still pretty.

Beautiful, even.

What if she should die?

I rolled over and gently draped my arm around Sango, pushing my face against her shoulder. I held the slayer close but with care, not wanting to further harm her. I didn't know what I would do at this point if she were to die from her injuries.

My first impulse was to say I would die with her, of my own hand.

Fuck freedom.

My freedom was not worth it if Sango's precious life was the cost. I was aware that our current relationship was fickle at best and would likely deteriorate into at the very least a "normal" friendship once we escaped and recovered from this purgatory; but I did not want to think that far ahead now. Regardless of future planning, I would gladly take a future as her friend and unrequited lover over a future without her in it at all.

I chased after Sango through the woods, armed with an elegant sword and my fan. She stopped abruptly in the middle of a clearing and set down her weapon, the hiraikotsu. I caught up with her as she turned to face me. She smiled and grabbed my hands, adorned in wildflower warpaint.

"We made it, Kagura," said Sango, a shy but determined smile on her beautiful face. "I never thought we'd be here…"

Behind her, the scenery melted from trees and lush foliage to that of the waterfall we used to visit.

"Where is here?" I asked. The sky overhead quickly cycled from dawn to day to dusk to night and back. Several shooting stars passed over the treetops.

"We are where the river ends, where the war stops…" Sango leaned forward and planted a soft, sweet kiss to my lips.

My heart fluttered in my chest; I put my arms around Sango, holding her tightly, never wanting to let go. Her embrace was the purest comfort; her floral scent was intoxicating—lavender was most prominent.

"Kagura, I don't want to go back there…" Sango whispered into my pointed ear. I felt her hands move down my back, fingertips tracing my spine through my clothes. I shivered and closed my eyes.

"Don't take me home…" Sango's pained words tore at my soul.

When I opened my eyes, the scenery had changed again. Beautiful, serene nature slowly bled into a corrupted man-made compound. We were now standing in the middle of the courtyard of Naraku's castle. Sango stepped away from me.

"For one thing, you're not really here…" She continued to back away, tears in her eyes. She began to fade slowly as the buildings around me disintegrated. …Where had I heard those words before…?

I briefly felt as if I was drowning. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't scream…

I just fell into darkness, into a vast ocean.

I came to in a hospital. Elegance and the highest medical knowledge surrounded me. I had to be in a wealthier area. This was so strange… The place reeked of illness and sterilization. Doctors rushed past me, bumping into one another occasionally. They did not seem to notice me. I began to walk through the halls in slow motion, until I passed a waiting room. I was drawn to it and peered inside.

On one side sat Kohaku and Inuyasha. The opposite side consisted of Rouge, a ghost demon, a wolf demon, and a beautiful bat demon who could very well pass as Sango's twin, aside from her brilliant blue eyes in contrast to Sango's gorgeous topaz hues. Everyone stared as I entered the room. My heart rate increased uncomfortably.

"Hey, sleepwalker," greeted Rouge. "Tell me, where have you been?"

I tilted my head to the side in confusion and raised an eyebrow. "I should ask you that, Rouge… you're dead."

"Am I, though?" asked the fire demon, her voice dripping with arrogance. Even in death…

"Where will you go?" asked Kohaku. I turned to face the boy.

"What?" I was so confused.

Inuyasha approached me. He withdrew a sword—to my surprise, it was not the tetsusaiga. Instead, he wielded the sword of life that belonged to his brother, the tenseiga.

I fell to my knees as vivid and colorful visions infiltrated my mind.

I saw Sango, standing in the middle of an entirely white room. She was half-naked, covered by only a dark jade hakama and a handful of colorful paint splatters. Her hair was up in a messy, short ponytail. A line of rainbow-tinted paint was present across her eyes like a small mask of color.

Suddenly, I was back in the waiting room, laying on the ground. Inuyasha, Kohaku, and Rouge towered over me, concerned looks on their faces. They too were now adorned in various semblances of color. Kohaku's face was tinted by blue and white. Silver and gold splotches were present mainly on Inuyasha's chest and shoulders. Purple and black splatter wildly covered the fire demon. Inuyasha held out his hand, covered in gold and silver. I took it.

Sango stood before me again, this time, her back facing me. An anatomically correct image of a brain was tattooed in the middle of her back, just above her scar. She slowly looked over her shoulder at me, an intense look in her eyes, her face otherwise expressionless. Sango closed her eyes and reached over her shoulder, brushing her fingertips across the tattoo on her back.

My geography bent again and I was now in a decaying ruin of a room; rainwater could be heard falling in the corner. The only thing in the room with me was a mirror. I walked up to it. I was dressed so elegantly, in a white kimono with silver trim. A maroon feather was sewn into the shoulder. Gold plated armor covered my chest. My hair was pulled back in a topknot; and my face was marked with turquoise and pink warpaint.

The mirror shook and then shattered and I fell out of the floor, unable to scream.

I slowed before I hit the next floor, back in the waiting room. As I did so, not a sound was heard, and Inuyasha, Kohaku, Rouge, and the others all jumped into the air in slow motion, anger and agony on their faces.

I saw Sango once more. She stood in the middle of the white room, eyes closed, head tilted slightly up, arms outstretched, her hands low. Beyond the warpaint partially covering her bare chest, I could make out another tattoo, that of a rather detailed set of lungs. Sango slowly crossed her arms over her chest, holding onto her shoulders. She lowered her head and opened her eyes, making eye contact with me. The most subtle evidence of pain passed over features as she looked up once more, closing her pretty eyes and dragging her hands down her chest.

I was drowning again, in crimson waters… maybe an ocean of blood.

Oxygen violently reentered my lungs as I surfaced, from the ceiling in the hospital waiting room. Inuyasha jumped up and reached for me. I grabbed his outstretched hand.

"You are now manually breathing…" said the hanyou; a mysterious blend of emotions were present in his golden eyes.

He let go of me and I flew painlessly through the floor.

I landed gracefully in front of Sango. Eyes closed, she brought a tattooed hand to her face, a heart now sketched over her mouth. I reached out for her, feeling the strongest wave of emotion hitting me, filling my heart with warmth, sorrow, love, and fear all at the same time. I closed my eyes and saw myself once more, but with Rouge and her band of corpses behind me. They soon dematerialized and I was now presented with the image of myself standing in a heartfelt embrace with Sango. She kissed me and I opened my eyes.

I want to be all you think about… anything and everything you dream about…

Sango stood before me again, arms outstretched, hands low. Her piercing gaze never left me.

The world spun yet again and I was back in the waiting room; this time, I was being restrained by Inuyasha and Kohaku, reaching desperately for a set of sliding doors. I watched Rouge and her crew vanish before my eyes in transparent violet flames.

I opened my eyes to see Sango begin to float angelically above the floor. She slowly looked up and closed her eyes.

Inuyasha's claws gripped my shoulder and my arm; Kohaku's small arms were wrapped strongly around my waist.

I broke their restraint and burst through the doors. Sango found her footing on the floor once more. She opened her eyes and looked through me, expressionless. She seemed to faint and began to fall backwards in slow motion. I was paralyzed. Rouge and the ghost demon caught Sango and gently lowered her to the ground. The demons surrounded her, staring sadly at her unconscious form laying in the middle of the room. The bat demon dropped a single lotus flower on her before they all turned and vanished.

I rushed to Sango's side, roughly shaking her shoulders, silently begging for her to wake.

I want to be the one you can't breathe without…

The hangover of colorful dreams would not let me rest in peace. I blamed the vivid and psychedelic imagery on my lack of food, water, and rest over the past forty-eight hours or more. I splashed more cold water on my face and returned to my bedroom.

Sango remained asleep on my bed. She was at least dreaming, from what I could gather. The slayer moved quite often, quite fitfully, but never fully waking.

That dream scared the hell out of me. It barely made any sense. Just a bunch of demons and colors… romanticized beloved memories… What stuck with me the most was not the bizarre imagery or the ghosts that visited me; but the overwhelming emotions that weaved throughout the entire sequence. I had never felt anything so strongly before in my life. The only thing that could even offer a fair comparison was my hatred and anger at Naraku for all that he had done to both me and Sango.

Sango…

I was falling for the beautiful taijiya. There was no denying it. She quite literally won my heart and presented me with it in the most accidental, unconventionally heroic display. That was more than I ever truthfully expected anyone to ever do for me. My original, rose-tinted and juvenile hope was that the great Lord Sesshomaru would be the one to free me of my servitude and hand me my heart. Now, I could not care less; I would rather fall for someone in the realest way, amidst the most brutal reality than blindly hope that a beautiful stranger would appear out of nowhere and rescue me.

I sat on the bed next to Sango. In spite of everything, she was still flawless to me. Her honesty, bravery, and loyalty could argue against her wounded body and fractured spirit. Sango was kindness. She was trust. She was patience.

She was love.

Or so I was beginning to believe.

I didn't know what the future held for either of us and part of me did not want to know. I was afraid. But I just knew that I would never let her go; I would never leave her side. I couldn't.

I had a feeling she still harbored romantic inclinations toward me. We never explicitly talked about it. We didn't have time now. I noted she was still happy to see Miroku on the battlefield; he embraced her and swept her off her feet with the same care and longing that I possessed. I was not plotting to win her over by any means necessary, but I think I maybe wanted her to know how I felt. Sango deserved to know that in a world where we can't get what we want, she could get me.

The way she looked at me, even after the battle, even through the tragedy… something was there. I was her comfort, her rock. And I cursed myself for not being a better shield. I never promised to protect her from Naraku; I did not want to set either of us up for failure in that aspect. But I did promise her that I would succeed in creating our exit. No matter what it took.

I caressed the side of her face, admiring her beauty. Do you think of me as I do you? What are you thinking about, my dear Sango? She moved a little and let out a small noise as she slept. I want to be all you think about… anything and everything you dream about…

As if I had it all figured out…

We would leave this place. I swear it. The time of reckoning was upon us. I held my hand in front of my face and examined the thin white line on my palm, reminding me of the promise I had made with Sango, sealed with our blood. I looked past my promise to the sleeping girl next to me. I want to be the one you can't breathe without…

I laid beside her and held her carefully in my arms, wishing on every star I'd ever seen that she would wake up and return my embrace.

If you could open your eyes…