Star vs The Forces of Evil

The Ballad of Earth-Mewni

Disclaimer: Star vs The Forces of Evil was created by Daron Nefcy and is owned by Disney. I own no part of Star vs.

Episode 21: Up River's Creek (Part 1)

Episode Summary: A hunting mishap-turned-disaster results in River facing significant punishment under Earthni's - mainly Earth's - legal system, as well as a massive backlash from the integrated mewmans. But when the facts don't line up cleanly, Star & the rest of the cast take it upon themselves to clear River's name.

Original Release Date: June 23, 2020

This fine Earthni day saw Star, Marco, Janna, Tom, Jackie, & Chloe all gathered in Star's bedroom, playing a rousing game of Dungeons & Dragons. Yes, Alfonzo & Ferguson were still exercising their self-imposed protest against D&D with the group if Star was the Dungeon Master. And yes, it was still as dumb today as it was back when they first whined about it.

"Uh oh, Jackie! You and Chloe have been captured!" And once again, Star was reveling in the joy of being the Dungeon Master. "And you're about to face the wrath of the Bogbeast of Boggabah!" She was being especially flirtatious with Jackie. Not that either Jackie or Chloe minded. Heck, the more the merrier, they thought.

"Hold it!" Jackie interrupted. "What kind of trap?"

Star gave it a brief moment of thought. "Rope net." She replied with a smug smirk.

"I can cut it." Jackie held up her set of dice. Star followed suit.

"Only if you roll higher than me." They both exchanged competitive but playful glares at each other. "You haven't had much luck with the dice today, skater girl."

"That's all about to change, princess Butterfly." They reveled in getting caught up in the game, and it was all in good fun.

"Too bad I can't be trapped in there with you guys, but it seems like a tight squeeze. Would be a lot more fun breaking us all out of there, though."

"...what?"

"What?"

Unfortunately, their fun was about to be interrupted. There was a knock at Star's door. It was Eclipsa, Globgor, and Moon standing there.

"Star?" Eclipsa asked. "We, um...we need you to come with us."

The girl raised an eyebrow, gently setting her dice down on the game board. "...Is it urgent? W-"

"Unfortunately it is." Globgor answered back, rather sternly. "See, River is...he-"

"Your father's been arrested." Moon said coldly, cutting right to the chase as only she could. Absolute silence from the kids filled the air for a moment.

"Arrested?!" Marco finally exclaimed once it started to sink in for everyone. Janna broke out into hysterical laughter, mostly at Star's expense.

"Oh my god, no way!" She managed to exhale during her laughing fit. "First you, now your dad!? That's awesome!" Unfortunately her enthusiasm was not returned in kind; Star immediately covered Janna's mouth, but it was already too late.

"Star, what is she talking about?" Moon asked with an inquisitively raised eyebrow. Star never actually told her mother or anyone else about that incident. The former princess turned to Janna with a deadpanned, unimpressed glare. Now she was getting it. She sighed & turned back to her mother.

"I accidentally damaged a cop car one time & had to perform community service." She said rather quickly.

"...That's it?" And, shockingly, Moon was unimpressed that that was the extent of it. "I thought it would've been something more."

Star's jaw nearly came unhinged. "Wha-" But she quickly snapped back to reality. "Never mind, not important!" She stood up in a haste, with the others quickly following suit. "So...what was Dad arrested for?"

They all ventured off to the police station where River was being held. They were led to his cell by one of the officers working there, all while explaining what exactly River was being held for. "...Illegal hunting!?" Star exclaimed once they were all face-to-face with River...behind bars, at least.

"We found him next to the deceased body of an Asian Black Bear." The officer explained to them, taking out a file, opening it, and showing them a photo of River standing over the body of a fallen Asian Black Bear. Admittedly, River appeared utterly terrified in the picture, but that only helped so much. In the corner of the photo, there was what appeared to be a hunting rifle laying on the ground.

"...okay, time out. What's an Asian Black Bear doing here in Los Angeles?" Janna exclaimed.

"Janna, the Cleaving screwed up everything geographical." Star lamented, face-palming lightly. "It was only a matter of time before something like this happened." The doors to River's cage open, allowing him to shimmy out of the cage onto the outside.

"I swear on the many gods of Mew-erm, Earthni...i-it's not what you think." River pleaded, but his pleas were interrupted by the cop handing him a ticket. "And what's this now?"

"A court summons." He told them sternly. "You're being charged with Illegal hunting and illegal use of a firearm, Mr. River."

"...River is my first name, good sir." River corrected him...which didn't sit well with the cop.

"Whatever you say, sir. We'll see you in court." The officer left the group to their business, expecting that they would leave rather quickly. Which they did. The less time they spent in that place than was necessary, the better.

They quickly traversed back to the castle where they settled down in one of the study rooms. River was clearly shaken at the incident that just transpired, as was everyone else. The former king of Mewni? Arrested? On what was essentially Earth soil? "Okay, Dad..." Star said calmly, patting her father's shoulder in support. "Tell us exactly what happened. Don't leave out any details."

River nodded silently, followed by a deep breath & a brief moment of silence. "Alright...I was out on a nighttime hunting spree."

"I didn't realize you still did that."

"Well I hadn't since, well, you-know-what happened. But I figured it was time to resume something that resembled my normal routine!"

[Flashback]

It was the dead of night. The nighttime Earthni sky cast a gorgeous, dim light over the land. The open fields adjacent to Echo Creek were nearly abandoned...nearly. In the distance, River was out and about, undergoing a round of nighttime hunting. Back when Mewni was still just Mewni, it was a routine he frequently engulfed himself in, mostly as a stress reliever. His form of nighttime hunting consisted of him chasing wild animals - animals that couldn't be classified as monsters because they were literally mindless - while wielding a sword.

Tonight, his intended victim was a creature that appeared to be at least highly similar to that of the Asian Black Bear. River gave it one heck of a chase all over the fields. The chase was harsh & quick, and by the end of it, River managed - without even realizing it - to plunge his sword into the beast's torso, causing it to fall over instantly. For some reason, this was a cause for celebration in River's eyes. And that's exactly what he did. It was a rather over-the-top celebration too, one that only stopped when his eyes opened when he discovered that the animal he had hunted was, in fact, not moving, which immediately raised a red flag in his head.

River liked to hunt in his spare time for sport, but never to kill. Only for the thrill of it. When magic still existed and Mewni was still Mewni, River's hunting swords were specifically, for lack of a better term, "magic'd" so that none of his sword thrusts ever actually killed any animals he hunted. And even with that in mind, River was still careful while hunting, only thrusting his sword deep enough to cause them to be rendered helpless, not dead. He chased the thrill of the hunt, not the actual prey itself. Since the end of magic and the Cleaving of Earth & Mewni, River felt he had to put it aside for the time being while everything was straightened out. Tonight was his first fore-lay back into the mix.

And it couldn't have gone any worse. The animal was indeed dead.

[End Flashback]

"So you did go hunting last night." Moon lamented sternly, clearing disappointed in her husband. "I thought we agreed you would put a halt to your nightly excursions until we've sorted out all the ramifications of the Cleaving."

"Yes, Moonpie, we did." River lamented. "But I've been absolutely bored out of my mind! I thought it would be safe. I don't even understand what went wrong! I never hunt to kill!"

"Perhaps, but you can get carried away sometimes without realizing."

"That might be true, but I don't think it's that simple this time." Janna interrupted, drawing everyone's attention her way.

"Why do you say that?"

"That photo the cop showed us at that precinct...there was a hunting rifle on the ground off to the corner..." Janna explained. "You guys don't use hunting rifles, do you?"

River and Moon both looked at each other, then back at Janna. "What is a hunting rifle-"

"Exactly."

There was the kicker: why would a crime scene photo explicitly display a weapon that River doesn't actually use...but not the one that he does use? "Are you suggesting my husband is being set up?"

"I'm saying the facts don't make sense." Janna turned to the others. "I say we go out there and check this out for ourselves...get to the bottom of what the heck's actually going on."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Marco objected. "Wouldn't it be better to just let the cops handle it? They're the ones with the resources and knowledge to investigate & get all the fa-" Slowly Marco broke down from his speech into uncontrollable laughter. He was the only one laughing, but everyone sympathized. "I-I'm sorry I can't even finish that with a straight face." The boy saw his girlfriend was about to question something. "I'll explain later."

"But how would we even go about this?" Globgor asked, finally speaking up again. "I've been researching how Earth - rather, this country - conducts criminal investigations. I'm fairly certain the bear's body is no longer in the woods. We won't simply be able to go out and examine the body or crime scene."

That night, when the sky was dead pitch-black and everyone in the town was asleep, the group reconvened - all sporting some form of sleepwear, with Star sporting a black leather jacket over her black sleepwear - & trekked out to the spot in the woods where the ill-fated hunting incident occurred. Incredibly enough, the body of the slain black bear was still there, only now surrounded by crime scene tape...poorly put-up crime scene tape.

"Huh...well I'll be damned." Globgor commented upon seeing the slain bear's body still there.

"If it makes you feel any better, this isn't regular procedure; it's incompetence." Janna commented with a sly chuckle. "Okay, so how the heck are we going to do this?"

"Good question..." Star took a moment to examine her surroundings. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There wasn't any immediate sign that they would be intruded on or spotted, which was quite unusual for a crime scene. A normal crime scene would have a crime scene unit on hand to examine the area for evidence and cops standing around trying to protect the integrity of the scene. All of this only made Star more suspicious. "Okay..." She turned to her folks. "Mom, Dad, Eclipsa, Globgor, you guys keep guard of the outside. Let us know if anyone looks like they're coming our way."

"But pumpkin, wouldn't we be more useful in there?" River asked, pointing towards the dead body. "I want to get to the bottom of this mess!"

"Yeah, so do we, Dad. But you can't exactly investigate your own crime scene."

"Maybe not, but is it even ethical for us to be here right now?" Eclipsa pondered.

"Probably not, but I don't have a good feeling about leaving this to the authorities."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one..." She looked behind her to see that Marco had joined in the rest of the group examining the dead body as well as the immediate area surrounding the body. "Marco told me a lot of stories about what...for lack of a better term..."bad policing" on Earth was like. There's way too much of that going on, and that's with a system that, honestly...is probably a little better than what Mewni had."

"What are you talking about?" Moon objected.

"Come on, Mom. Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Nine times out of ten trials consisted of the kingdom telling the defendants they were guilty and refusing to hear any shreds of evidnece that they might've been innocent. The only reason Eclipsa's trial was so different was because of that deal you and she made when you were an early queen."

Moon sighed. "...ugh, that's true. Bu-"

"Star!" Came a voice from the group behind them. They all turned to see it was Jackie. "We're gonna canvass the woods, see if we can find anything. Wanna come help?"

Uh oh, Star's face went red again. Her on-again, off-again attraction to Jackie was still a thing, and this was hardly an appropriate time for it to be coming up. "U-Uh, s-sure! Be right there!" Jackie gave her a thumbs up before running off. Star briefly turned back to her folks. "So, um...yeah I'm gonna...gonna go with the hot skater girl for a bit..."

Eclipsa giggled; seeing her goddaughter embrace her bisexuality was a beautiful, albeit funny, sight. "Just remember to breathe, dear." Star nodded rapidly before taking off with the skater girl in question.

So Star & Jackie went off in one direction, deep into the woods to look for anything they could use to help clear River's name. "So what exactly are we looking for?" Jackie inquired.

"No idea. Just anything that might help us figure out what the heck's going on." Their search led them to scope out the area; digging up some of the dirt, eyeballing the trees, rustling through the bushes, you name it. In the early parts of their search, they turned up nothing. And the frustration slowly built up in Star's psyche. She felt the negativity clouding her mind. What would happen to River if they couldn't find anything to clear his name? What punishment potentially awaited him? Was there more to this than any of them realized? Why else would the circumstances surrounding this "crime" be so suspicious?

Well all of those thoughts plus a continued strain on her physical health resulted in Star tripping over a branch that was next to a tree that they hadn't come across yet. She hit the ground hard, but it was in her trying to get up that caused even more problems; her erratic & sick heart acted up again, causing her too much pain to even attempt to stand. Luckily her screams of agony were heard by Jackie several feet away. The skater girl hustled to the fallen princess. "Hey! Hey..." She knelt down and turned Star on her back, seeing her clutching her chest in pain & biting on her tongue. "It's alright, I'm here. S-Should I get-"

"No!" She grunted through her teeth. "No...j-just give me a minute. It'll pass..." She begged her.

"It'll pass!?"

"This isn't anything new. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"How long has this been going on?!" It was evident to Star that Jackie was absolutely terrified for her. It occasionally slipped Star's mind that not everyone was privy to the full extent of her problems.

"I...I've forgotten. I think since I was working for Eclipsa, but that's not important." Slowly the pain was beginning to subside; Star was able to sit up on her own and lean against the tree. She huffed & puffed several times, each successful breath slower & more controlled than the previous. Jackie, completely out of her element but desiring to comfort her, sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Ms. Cher was right, I don't handle stress well. At all. Gah, I wish I had answer for what's wrong with me."

"Hey, hey, easy...chill girl." Jackie rubbed her shoulder before taking the extra step of scooting closer & pulling into a full hug. "You're gonna be okay. No way we're letting anything happen to you." Jackie was hugging her awfully closely, her face smushed up against Star's, something that made the girl's face go almost completely red.

She sighed. "Thanks Jackie." And then responded in kind by hugging Jackie back. Her cheeks are so soft... She thought to herself. Jackie pulled away from the hug & gave her a reassuring smile. And her eyes are so pretty... To be young and to play on both teams. Jackie's eyes drifted off to behind the tree...where something of interest was sticking out. "What?"

She stood up and peered around behind the tree. Lo and behold, sitting there was the hunting rifle. The nozzle was sticking out from the ground; it appeared as though someone tried to bury it underground and did a fairly poor job of it. "I...think I found something." Star - ignoring the heart pain - stood up in a haste and joined her. "Is this it?"

"Only one way to find out. We gotta get it tested for fingerprints & gunshot powder." Jackie turned her head to look at Star like she had four heads, something that Star only picked up on after a brief silence. "Marco's parents watch a lot of cop shows." And then Star had to stop Jackie from half-hazzardly touching the rifle. "Wait! Fingerprints, remember?" In a haste, Star reached her hand into Jackie's back pocket, rummaging through it for at least a few seconds.

"Um, what are you doing?" Jackie asked, perplexed at the motion, only to put the pieces together when she saw Star was holding a pair of gloves.

"Latex gloves. You know, to keep the fingerprints on the gun." Star explained about as awkwardly as one could. No, she wasn't doing what you think she was doing - though you know she gave it some thought - but it was only after Star had pulled out the gloves that she realized how bad it might've looked.

"Oh...right..." Jackie awkwardly took the gloves & put them on, walking over to the rifle to pick it up and leaving Star to her own devices for the moment.

"Why did you do that!? You stupid!" Star berated herself with a loud face-palm. She was so distracted by her own stupidity that she completely missed that Jackie, while picked up the rifle, was blushing & smiling.

The two retraced their steps back to the edge of the forest, where the body lay. They found Marco climbed up onto a nearby tree, appearing to check something out on one of the branches. "Hey Marco! We got the rifle!" Star shouted to him as Jackie held it up. "What're you doing up there?"

"There's little hidden cameras on all of these trees." Tom explained on the ground, pointing out to each of the nearby trees. "They're on every tree."

"Brother Eye watches our every move..." Janna joked, only earning groans from Tom.

Jackie & Star took it upon themselves to inspect the trees. Indeed, the others were correct; each tree had at least one hidden camera poking out somewhere in clever camouflage. Some trees had several cameras. Star's attention was temporarily taken from the cameras once she saw her folks approaching the group again. "There's hidden cameras in these trees!" Star yelled to them. "Maybe one of these cameras caught what actually happened!"

"Ooh, we should ask Amanda if she'll let us look at the footage!" Eclipsa declared...which drew cocked heads & raised eyebrows from the teens. "Amanda...your friend..." Still nothing registering. "Painted hearts on her cheeks, ice cream cones for horns..."

Now the lightbulbs were going off. "Oh you mean Starfan13! Wait...how do you know this is her work?"

"Trust us...it's her work." Janna said deadpanned, patting Star's shoulder.

The adults took the group to Starfan13's house. For some reason, she was up at this late hour and she was eager to let the group into her room while her parents slept. "Oh this is totally my work!" She loudly whispered to them.

"But how?"

"While you and lover boy were on your trip and everything was, like, in chaos & stuff, I was hired by the mayor to be in charge of all the security cameras in Echo Creek!" Since everyone else in the group was actually present in Echo Creek at the time, this information didn't take them by surprise. Star & Marco, however, were shocked & taken aback. A brief moment of silence passed while the adults started to check out the tapes at the girl's consent. "What?"

"...Your name is Amanda?!" Marco barked in a loud whisper. The girl nodded. "Are Star and I the only ones that didn't know that?!"

"Apparently so." Janna smugly answered him.

"Why did we never know that?" Star couldn't help but ask.

"Because...because I don't like that name." She admitted, crossing her arms and looking away in shame.

"Aww, but it's such a pretty name."

"No it's not. It's icky! It has the word "man" in the middle! Say it wrong, and it sounds like you're saying "A man...DUH! It's just gross & unpleasant!" Her passionate spiel was met with lukewarm reception by the teens. "What? Am I the only girl that's bothered by this?"

"You are literally the only person in the entire multiverse that's taking an issue with that." Janna said to her rather dryly. "Can we get back to the important things, please?"

"Kids, we think we've found something!" Eclipsa loudly whispered, getting their attention. They all gathered around the computer screens on Starfan13's desk. Footage played showing the events of the night in question, the night that landed River in such hot water. For the time being, the events played out exactly as River described them...that is until they got to the point where River incapacitated the bear and decided to celebrate to himself. The celebration lasted for a ridiculous amount of time, and all the while River was none the wiser to what was happened behind him. And what was actually happening?

A group of three figures - it was debatable whether they were humans or mewmans - surrounded the bear with the stab wound and quickly - and sloppily - dragged the body away. Another group of three figures - again their identities were indistinguishable - moved into the scene dragging another, nearly identical bear body onto the scene, this one with a gunshot wound instead of a stab wound. "The heck..." Marco muttered to himself. As the footage continued, it picked up as River described it, with him ceasing his celebration and realizing that the body that now lay in front of him was dead, as opposed to the one the first group had dragged away.

The footage continued, with what appeared to be a police officer confronting River, River pleading with the officer that something was wrong, and then the officer tackling River, subduing him, and then dragging him away, presumably to the police station. The groups from earlier returned, hastily wrapping the area in sloppy crime tape. Everything about how the events played out reeked of suspicion, and the adults' reactions of utter disgust & disdain reflected that of the teens.

"This is outrageous!" Moon almost roared. "They are clearly enacting a cover-up, twisting the facts to fit whatever narrative they want to spin."

"I don't even understand why they would do this." Marco interjected, making his way over their shoulders to get a better view of the computer. "Echo Creek already has strict "no hunting" laws anyway, they could've just punished River while enforcing those laws without going through the trouble of...this." Marco looked over at River, who looked like he had just laid eyes on an Advanced Calculus problem. "No offense, sir."

"None taken, my boy."

"To go through all of that just to make it seem like River's guilty of something...only slightly more reprehensible...it just doesn't make sense to me."

"It does if there's an agenda behind the scenes that we don't know about." Star proposed.

"What? You mean an agenda besides typical police corruption & abuse of power?" Janna half-joked. Star, however, did not give off a reaction. "I'm not kidding."

Marco lightly tapped Star's shoulder to get her attention. "She's really not." He carefully emphasized.

"Okay, so what do we do with this information now? I'm assuming those cops already have this footage and they're going to try to spin it in some way to screw Dad over."

"That's not the impression I got when they paid me a visit." Starfan13 intervened, drawing everyone's attention directly to her. Now that's a bombshell.

"What are you implying?"

"Oh so this group of cops barged into my house and scared my parents, and then they approached me & tried to sweet talk me into destroying the tapes that corresponded with that call in the woods."

A moment of bewildered silence passed. "Wait a minute...they tried to bribe you into destroying criminal evidence?" Tom inquired, eyes wide open in shock. Her vision turned to the footage playing on her computer. "So I guess you didn't do it, then."

"Nope. But I managed to trick them into thinking I did." Starfan13 gleamed proudly. "Plus, I got that exchange on tape too."

"You have cameras in your own house?"

"I have cameras all over the place! But I only use them for good!"

"On the record, at least." Janna intervened, smugly smiling at Star & Marco. "Off the record..." She turned specifically to Marco. "Where do you think I got the camera I put on your body?"

Marco loudly gasped while Star's and every other teen's jaw nearly hit the ground. "You put a hidden camera on Marco!?" Star exclaimed.

"Yeah, it was when we were driving ourselves nuts trying to figure out how I got to Mewni."

"How could you? That's a massive invasion of his privacy!"

"Umm..." Janna hesitated. "Technically it's a massive invasion of your privacy." She evilly grinned, while Star feign offense & Marco feigned confusion. "Or did you just think that I wanted to record your hoodie the whole time?" Janna said to Marco rather passive-aggressively. Suddenly the conversation was getting a bit awkward, and this was hardly the time for that. So in a quick haste, Starfan13 helped whip up CDs of the exact footage the group deduced they needed: footage of the event in question that threw the officers' account of River's crime in dispute, as well as footage of Starfan13's account of the officers entering her home & attempting to bribe her into destroying the footage of the evidence. It was also agreed upon that they would need to keep a close eye on the officers in question in case they decided to start talking about the case openly.

Once that was all settled, everyone started to diverge from Starfan13's room, with the adults going first and the teens lagging behind, especially with Star in the mood to confront Janna. "You put a hidden camera on my boyfriend." She said flatly, not amused at all.

"Technically this was before he was your boyfriend." Janna again responded slyly. She was enjoying this.

"Well the joke's on you, missy, because Marco doesn't need yours or Starfan's hidden cameras anymore. He can use his camera any time he wants." Well, that's...a comeback. One that no one - especially poor Marco - was ready for. "And by the way, Marco, that's not a request. A picture of this bubble butt is worth more than a thousand words." With that, she triumphantly took her leave as if she had won something. What did she win exactly?

"What just happened?" Marco asked, echoing everyone's questions, including the readers. Jackie patted his shoulder & chuckled.

"I think you just reached second base." She briefly hugged him before joining Janna in taking their leave. Now Marco & Tom were the only ones left that had to leave, and the demon prince made it very clear that he was impressed.

"Marco, dude...what's your secret?" He ragged on him, nudging his arm playfully. The red-hooded boy had to come up with something very fast.

"Um...m-my cute, boyish charm?" And that was the last word they had on the subject before taking their leave.

Everyone decided that they would take shelter in the Butterfly castle for the night, seeing as it had been far too late for everyone to return to their respective homes without causing a ruckus. The following morning saw everyone peacefully sleeping in different parts of the castle...with the exception of Star. At 6 A.M., it was way too early for her to be awake, and these days on a normal morning, she'd usually have at least several more hours of sleep in her. But not today. Her mind was racing too fast for her to be able to relax. She found herself sitting out in the garden - right by the graves of Queen Solaria & Mina Loveberry - contemplating the state of affairs.

Her desolate silence was briefly interrupted when she looked up from her malaise & noticed her father approaching her. "Star?"

"Hey Dad." She said somberly as he took it upon himself to take a seat next to her.

"Can't sleep either?"

"Nope." She wrapped an arm around her father's shoulder. It was clear to him that the stress of him potentially suffering grave consequences for what was beginning to look like a massive cover-up was getting to her. "Been thinking about last night."

"Oh, that." River's confidence that things would turn out fine was high; the same could not be said for Star. "No need to worry, pumpkin. I have faith that we'll pull through this ordeal with our dignity and reputations in tact!"

"I'm glad someone does."

"Why wouldn't I? It's just a mere test of your boyfriend's...erm...justice system. But your mother and I have been doing our own research on the matter. We think we have the ins and outs of what Earth people call a "trial" down pat."

"You do realize that was before the Cleaving, don't you? I don't think it's gonna be exactly the same as it was before everything turned to chaos. And even if I'm wrong, that's hardly the point."

"I don't follow you."

Star sighed & reached into her pocket, taking out her phone & pulling up a video to show him. "Starfan-erm-Amanda...sent this to me this morning." The video in question was an overhead shot of an office, with several police officers and what appeared to be a police lieutenant gathered around. Except there was a problem. It didn't look like any police station Star had ever seen before. And that's because it wasn't. It was merely a room painted & designed to look like a police station, and the people occupying the room weren't actually police officers. Sure they looked like police officers, but they weren't on any records or payrolls.

"You dragged the body!?" The person dressed in the lieutenant's gear hissed at the others.

"We panicked! We didn't know if we would have enough time!"

"Ugh, okay fine, but tell me you disposed of the gun!"

"Y-Yeah, I'm pretty sure!"

"You're pretty sure!? That doesn't inspire confidence, fool!"

"Look, sir, you got nothin' to worry about. This'll all be over soon! King River will be in jail, and then we can go for the big prize!"

"The girl?"

"The girl."

Just as quickly, Star shut off her phone and looked up to see River's big, wide eyes. A mixture of confusion, outrage, and fury filled him. "Big prize?"

"I was hoping this wasn't it..." Star said somberly as she stood up and began frantically pacing.

"Hold the meat, dear, what in the name of corn are they yammering about?" Compared to Star, River (and to a slightly lesser extent Moon) were very unfamiliar with Earth lingo, Earth traditions, mannerisms, etcetera. They had to learn fast, and unfortunately, this was not the optimal position to do that.

"It's a conspiracy...a cover-up." She lamented, barely able to look her father in the eye.

"But did I not commit the crime I'm being tried for?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Yes, you did, but that's not the point. T-They could've just left it at what you did: you illegally hunted wildlife using a sword, that would've been plenty for them to use to punish you. But they took it a step further, they planted evidence to try you on a harsher crime!"

"Why would the fine people of Earth do such a horrid thing?"

Star shook her head rather harshly. "It's not Marco's people. It's ours." Again Star turned on her phone, setting up a side-by-side comparison of one of the "officers" in the video she just played and an actual Echo Creek police officer. "Look...the guys in the video? Their uniforms are a darker shade of blue. They're not standard Echo Creek uniforms. Dad, those guys are imposters! They're not real cops."

"Now don't say that. A slightly different shade of color doesn't automatically dismiss their potential credibility."

Once again Star pulled something up on her phone and showed it to River. "This does." On the screen was a picture showing a big headline on a document; the headline read "Mewman Law Enforcement Integration Act."

"...oh, yes...that'll do it."

"The Mewman Law Enforcement Integration Act: it stipulates that citizens of Mewman descent that migrated to Earthni after the Cleaving - that want to join law enforcement agencies - can formally apply to participate at the Echo Creek Police Academy or adjacent law enforcement academies after a 90-day grace period. That grace period hasn't expired yet, which means there shouldn't be any Mewman citizens on any sort of law enforcement agency payroll yet. So who are these guys!?"

"And what do they possibly want with us?!" Came a voice in the not-so-far distance. Standing in the doorway that led to the garden was Eclipsa, Globgor - holding Meteora - Moon, and Marco. "You couldn't sleep either?" Both Star & River shook their heads. "Can't blame you."

"Why do they want to go so hard after River?" Globgor asked, carefully rocking Meteora in his arms so that she wouldn't get antsy.

"They're not going after River." Star sighed, turning to them and sulking. "They're going after me."

Okay, now Star was just confusing them. "You? I don't understand..."

"You heard what those guys said on the tape, didn't you? They said after they're done with Dad they're gonna go after "the girl." Who else could they possibly be talking about?" Star had to take a moment to collect herself. All of a sudden, it felt like the stakes were higher than they've been in a long time. "It hasn't been all of them, obviously, but some of the mewmans are pretty damn pissed off at me."

"For the Cleaving? That wasn't planned, they can't-" Marco's attempt to reason with her failed.

"For everything, Marco. For turning the throne over to Eclipsa the "monster lover," to pushing them to accept her as their new queen...a whole bunch of them gave themselves over to Mina and Mom to join the Solarian army, and the ones that didn't are resentful of me because I wasn't there when it first happened. We got back to Mewni late because Hekapoo closed all the damn portals and-" She was struggling not to let herself cry here. "They're going to try to stage a coup. I can feel it."

"A coup?"

"Yeah, to get us thrown out of this new shadow council the mayor has us on. I just...I just have a bad feeling about it."

"But how do they expect to do that just by putting River in jail?"

"It's a test case. They wanna see if they can break us. They're starting small - a conspiracy to exaggerate the crime Dad actually committed so they can put him in jail. If that happens, someone will have to replace him on the council. And if they can do that to one of us, they can do it to all of us...all just to get to the person they really want to screw over: me."

"And you honestly believe they would?" Moon jumped in.

"If they're angry enough, yeah I do."

River placed a comforting hand on his daughter's shoulder before bringing her in for a hug. "That is not going to happen. We will make sure of that." He took a good long look into his daughter's eyes. "I intend to submit to my sins & take my appropriate punishment. What I will not do is allow anyone to manipulate you, I, or any one of us into accepting facts that didn't happen, or accepting punishment that is unjust for crimes we did not commit."

"Keep the faith." Globgor chimed in again. "We'll make certain River has the best legal team he possibly can. And we will make this right."

She desperately wanted to believe that. She had to believe that. She slowly nodded in acceptance as Marco approached her to embrace her. It was always Marco's hugs that she looked forward to the most. It so badly eased her nerves. The adults all agreed to leave the two kids to their own devices for the time being. They had all accepted that she would always feel most comfortable around the boy. But they could only hug for so long before the girl felt compelled to break away. "My own people, Marco. My own people are trying to ruin us..."

"Don't you worry. It's going to be okay." He reassured her by pulling her into a kiss. Another thing that always calmed her nerves. "Let's talk about something else in the meantime. Oh, I know: you got to hang with Jackie last night while we did our sleuthing. How did that go?"

"Oh, uh, good! Good! We talked, we had fun, I, uh...I unconsciously put my hand in her back pocket." Well how's that for an admission. Evidenced by Marco's huge, shocked eyes, it would qualify as a bombshell. In the meantime Star's face was slowly turning a very dark shade of red. "She...she had latex gloves in...in her back pocket and...and we needed them so we...so we wouldn't lose the fingerprints."

His shocked eyes gave way to an impressed, rather smug glare from him as he put his hand up for a high-five. "Nice." And Star returned the high-five rather proudly.

End of Episode 21!

Yes, this is going to be a two-parter. This is another episode where it started out as something different but as I was writing it I realized I had a better direction I thought I could take it in, so here we are. Originally it was just going to be about River needed to control his nervous, anxious energy to avoid more legal trouble. But then the gears started to turn lol.

Just a quick warning: the process of packing up our home & selling it & moving out is beginning to gain steam, so if updates start to slow down, that's why. I have no intention of quitting this story or writing Star vs works, so don't worry about that. But I don't want to just disappear off the face of the site either.

And as always, reviews & feedback are greatly appreciated! :)