Over the next week, I was busy with college and ballet. My classes were coming along nicely, and all my little ones were making so much progress. Having Violetta in my class is a breath of fresh air.

I look at her now, hair spilling from her bun as she twirls. She's in her pale cream leotard, standing between two other little girls. There's a fierce determination in her to get things right. She's a little spitfire and I love it. So much like her dad.

"Okay, that was brilliant," I say to all of them. I have ten kids in my class, ages four to six. "Let's run it again one more time, and then it's home time okay?"

They all nod enthusiastically, and I run the music for the last time before taking a sip of water. It's been a long week and I'm exhausted. It doesn't help that tomorrow evening is my first BDSM scene with Christian. It's been at the back of my mind all week but now it's forefront and centre. I have no idea what I've signed up for or what's going to happen. All I know is that I love and trust him. I want to experience everything with him.

My little ones run through their routine one last time before it's time to go. After they've all left, Violetta bounces her way over to me and I help her change before we leave.

"Today was fun," she says, lifting up her arms as I push a pale blue t-shirt over her head.

"Yeah?" I smile. "What was your favourite part?"

"I like doing the jumps!" She grins, referring to the leaps we've just started to learn.

I nod enthusiastically. "Oh yes the jumps are the best part," I agree. "Turn around, let me fix your hair."

I fix it back into a little ponytail, loving the feel of how soft it is. Taking care of Violetta has become second nature over the past month. She's so easy to care for and fun to talk to. Seeing the world through her four-year-old eyes is a truly remarkable thing.

After we're finished up, I sign out and head toward the car. Once inside, Violetta starts talking about her birthday party which is coming up next month.

"There's going to be dragons and unicorns and princesses," she tells me excitedly, animatedly chatting with her hands.

"No way," I scoff. "Dragons?!"

"Yes Ana!" She emphasises, rolling her eyes. I grin as I turn the corner into Christian's drive and press in the code on the gates.

"Well, we're going to have to make sure they don't breathe fire," I say, letting myself out and round to let Violetta out of her car seat.

I lift her into my arms as I sling our bags over my shoulder.

"Yes we'll make sure," she says seriously.

I head up to the front door, letting myself in with the key Christian gave me when we came back from Miami. I like having it. It really feels legitimate.

"Ana?" Violetta asks thoughtfully once we're inside.

"Yeah honey?" I ask, setting her down.

"Can you pretend you're my mommy at my party?" She asks, her voice a little quieter.

She's gone nervous, twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes. My heart falls into my stomach as I bend down and bundle her back into my arms.

"Oh sweetheart," I whisper before pulling back and running my fingers through her curls.

"You know how much I love you," I say to her and she nods, tears filling her eyes.

And because I love her and have no idea what else to say or do, I nod. She grins, throwing her arms around my neck and I curse myself. Oh Ana, what did you just do?

Gail makes us snacks afterwards and then we play for a bit before Christian gets home. Seeing him always sends butterflies racing through my stomach. I wonder if I'll ever get used to the fact that he's with me. He hugs and lifts Violetta before coming over to me and lifting me too.

Violetta starts giggling before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Daddy I want Ana to live here," she says sweetly.

He raises a brow, setting me down.

"Do you?" He asks, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Violetta nods as she settles into his lap.

"Well, I mean, that's a big decision for Ana to make," he finally says, reaching for the glass of water Gail has placed before him as she works on dinner.

I take a seat and look up at him.

"Don't you mean for us to make?" I confirm.

He shrugs. "You know you're welcome to live here Ana," he says matter-of-factly, as though we've talked about this before.

Before Violetta can latch on, I change the subject and ask him about his day.

After a dinner of salmon, rice and veggies, we play with Violetta for an hour before Christian gets her ready for bed. I get showered and changed into pj's before lounging on the couch. I think about what he said earlier. You're welcome to live here. Me, in this big beautiful house. But what about Kate? We're we even ready for that yet?

Christian comes down around half an hour later. Instead of joining me, he holds out his hand. I take it wordlessly.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"My office," he states. "We're having a meeting."

Inside his office, I sit opposite him in a chair that I'm sure hasn't been there before. I rarely come in here but it's huge with lots of wood furniture. Much cosier than the penthouse at work. On his desk, there's several pictures of him and Violetta. A few of his family and...I can't help but smile when I see one of us. On our trip to Miami. Knowing that he got it printed and framed means so much to me. It really is the little things.

Christian sits down and I look up. He loosens his tie and looks so sexy as he does it.

"What are we having a meeting about?" I ask, though I'm pretty sure already.

"Our scene tomorrow," he states, scooting his chair forward. "Remember, you can back out of this now Ana. We don't have to go forward with it."

He looks at me seriously I scoot my chair closer too and reach for his hand. He takes it and we interlace our fingers together.

"I want to," I assure him.

He looks at me again for another moment before sighing, nodding and pulling away to reach into his drawers. He produces a few pieces of paper.

"What's this?" I ask.

"These are all the things that can be involved with BDSM," he says, suddenly all business like. It reminds me of the way he used to talk when we first met, and I was his assistant.

"What I want you to do is read through them and strike a cross through everything that doesn't sound good to you. That's what we call our hard limits."

I nod, reaching for the papers. Glancing over, I feel my insides start to do somersaults as I look at some of them.

"Breath play?" I ask, scared. "What's that?"

"It's where you use different breathing techniques during sex to heighten the experience. For example, I'd choke you or restrict your breath for a few moments," he says calmly.

I remain frozen. Why on earth would anyone want to do that?

He gives me a pen and I immediately strike it out. He gives me a small smile.

"Don't worry," he says. "It's one of my hard limits too."

I breathe a sigh of relief as I read the next few.

There's everyday stuff, like cunnilingus and fellatio, then stuff I expected such as handcuffs and bondage - but there's also more extreme things like fisting. I make a face and he chuckles.

"Your whole hand?" I cringe just thinking about it.

He nods. "It can be done. I think you'd enjoy it. It would be a very intimate experience."

I'm wary but I decide to trust him and leave it uncrossed.

"Anal sex," I breathe quietly. "And anal fisting? Oh my god."

He chuckles again and nods. "You've never had anal sex, have you?" He asks.

I shake my head, embarrassment crawling at my insides. I know it's a common thing, even Kate's done it.

"Wouldn't it hurt?" I ask.

"If I jumped straight in then yes," he replies. "But I'd never do that. I'd start with my fingers and then with toys. We'd use lots of lube. It would be a gradual build up."

"And that feels good?" I ask sceptically.

He nods.

"Have you ever...has anyone ever done that to you?" I ask, afraid to know the answer. "Have you ever been with...a man?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "No. I've never been with a man. I'm not gay Anastasia."

I glare at him for laughing. He's had sex in dungeons, yet it's wild for me to wonder whether or not he's been with a man?

He leans back in his chair, taking off his tie altogether.

"I've had...experiences with women. Anal experiences. Where they've penetrated me with toys and such. It's actually where the male g spot is located," he says, a little quietly.

I'm quiet for a moment. The thought of him being like that...so open and vulnerable. Being penetrated by other women...

"Did you like it?" I ask.

He nods and I can see a tinge of red around his ears.

"Why have you never asked me to do it to you?" I ask.

He sighs. "Ana, it's not very common okay? It's why it's on this list. If I've never so much as handcuffed you before, why would I ever ask that of you?"

"Because it's something you enjoy!" I say, getting a little heated. "I don't want you to forgo everything you've ever liked because of me. Because you think I can't handle it."

He glares at me. "I'm showing you it now," he snaps. "Obviously I think you can handle it."

I take a deep breath, hating that he's right. I try to put my insecurity issues to the side and focus back on the list.

Feathers. Straps. Sex toys. Suspension. I leave them all uncrossed.

"Spanking?" I ask.

"Yes. I assure you it's very erotic and enjoyable," he says, professional once again.

"Will it hurt?"

"It's a mixture of pain and pleasure," he admits.

I cringe again as I see the word belts.

"You've hit women with belts?" I ask, shocked.

"They enjoyed it Ana," he says cooly.

I shake my head as I cross it out. I leave spanking however. Somehow it sounds much better knowing it's his hand.

When I'm finished, Christian talks me through tomorrow's scene.

"I've had a spare bedroom set up with everything we'll need," he says, sitting up right. "Tomorrow, before the scene begins, you'll undress to your underwear and tie your hair up. You'll enter the room and you'll sit on the floor, facing away from me. You won't look at me. You'll keep your face down. You'll address me as sir at all times."

"Are all BDSM scenes like that?" I ask, thinking it sounds a bit extreme.

He shakes his head. "Everyone is different, but I particularly enjoy being a dominant. You'll be playing the part of my submissive."

I nod.

"I'm going to go easy on you. It's your first time. We'll use the bed straps, they're softer on the skin. I'm going to use sensation play with you. Feathers and leather straps and ice. Things like that. Does that sound okay?"

I nod again, feeling myself warm all over. Feathers and ice. I'm tingly just thinking about it.

"If you break the rules, as in if you speak without my permission or look at me when I haven't told you... they'll be punishment," he continues.

"What punishment?" I grin.

He raises his brows at me. "I'll spank you. I'll withhold your orgasms."

I make a horrified face, but he doesn't back down.

"This is a scene Ana. Remember, you want to do this. I'm going to try and make it as authentic for you as I can which means no me. It's not Christian in there okay? It's Mr Grey. There's no cuddling or kissing."

I pout. "Didn't you ever kiss or cuddle your submissives?"

He shakes his head no and for some reason, I feel pleasure run through me at the knowledge.

"After the scene is over, you'll shower and then we'll go over it okay? We can resume back to normal after. They'll be lots of cuddling and kissing. It's your first time so you'll need plenty of aftercare."

"Aftercare?"

He nods. "It's important to talk through a scene afterwards. To completely change the vibe. We'll go back to our usual room."

I try not to grin at the way he says our.

"Okay," I reply. "So, how long will the scene be?"

He shrugs. "It can last hours. It usually does, but I'll probably make it shorter for you. An hour minimum though."

I nod nervously as I stand. He stands with me too.

"Lastly, safe words," he says. "A safe word is a word you use when you want to stop. You can say it at anytime, and I'll immediately stop. We'll stop the scene straight away okay? It won't upset me. Which word do you want to use?"

I think and blurt the first thing that comes to mine.

"Peanut?!"

He laughs and nods, coming around the desk to take my hand. He stands in front of me and tilts my chin up for a kiss. I kiss back enthusiastically, reaching to unbuckle his pants but he stops me, stepping back. I look up at him questioningly.

"It will be more intense if we wait until tomorrow," he states. "Waiting, sexual tension, it all helps."

I make a face but he just chuckles.

"Come now," he teases. "That all you want me for? My body?"

His tone is playful but underneath, I can detect a genuine insecurity. Have women used him for sex before? I ask him and he looks away before answering.

"Yes," he admits. "More times than I can count. They want sex. They want money. I can give them both and most of the time it's all they want."

Feeling my heart break, I snake my arms around his waist. I feel bad. Constantly going on about BDSM...is that what he thinks of me? That I just want sex? He has to know that's not true.

"I want you for you," I whisper.

He turns, looking down at me.

"I don't care about your money. And it would suck if you could never make love to me again but... I'd still want you. Because I love you. I love you as person, as a man. I love talking to you and spending time with you. I love our days out together. I love bringing you lunch at work and going on drives. I love telling you about my day and listening to yours. And if you were homeless with no dick, I'd still love you. I'd still be with you."

He chuckles a bit at that, but he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He buries his face in there, kissing me softly.

"That was lovely Ana," he says quietly. "I hope you know I feel exactly the same. I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

"I know," I whisper back.

I know.

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