prompt: fake dating
word count: 1,956
notes: this is au - all human. bonnie and damon are neighbors who only met and became friends due to living next door to each other, with no history in mystic falls.

"I just had an amazing idea," Damon announced as he sat down with his morning coffee, dressed in only a loose hanging pair of pajama pants.

"That's not good..." Bonnie frowned at him from her seat at the small table on her balcony, directly next to his.

Damon waved a dismissive hand. "You remember I told you about my brother's wedding? It's two weeks away and my mom's expecting me to be there this weekend... It's like a mini-family reunion or something."

"If I remember correctly..." Her brows hiked, "she expects to see you and the invisible girlfriend you keep telling her you have so she'll stop asking how you're dealing with the breakup."

"Yes, thank you for poking at the wound, Bon-Bon."

"Remind me again why you can't just tell your mom that you aren't seeing anyone?"

"I told you... Ever since Elena and I broke up, my mom thinks I've fallen into a funk—"

"You have."

"—so she's been setting me up with just about everyone she meets. In an effort to get her off my back, I told her I had a girlfriend. A very smart, very beautiful girlfriend. That she would never meet, because of reasons. But now, my darling little brother is marrying his peppy little fiancé, and I have to produce said girlfriend..."

"Right…" she drawled. "Why can't you just say you broke up?"

"Were you not listening?" His mouth screwed up irritably. "She'll have me set up with Caroline's entire bridal party before I even land."

"Which would be a terrible thing because...?"

"Because. Inevitably, I'll sleep with them, break their mushy little hearts, and never hear the end of it from my soon-to-be sister-in-law."

Bonnie snorted. "Or, you could meet a really nice girl, fall in love, have a wedding of your own... Stop whining at me on my balcony on this, the very first day of my vacation. A vacation I earned after two long years of never even taking a sick day."

"Back to my original point..." Damon leaned back in his chair and pointed at her. "I have the perfect solution."

"And I have a feeling I'm going to hate it. But... I'm curious. So, what is it?"

He grinned. "You should be my date."

A beat passed, and then another, and then Bonnie half-shouted, "Are you out of your mind?"

"Actually, I think I'm in my right mind, thank you very much..."

"Damon, I'm not going to pretend to be your girlfriend."

"Why not!?" He frowned, offended, and then waved a hand in the vague direction of himself. "You would be lucky to be dating all of this."

Bonnie scoffed. "I have been friends with all of that for years now. Trust me, I'm not missing out."

"Hey... I'm a catch!"

"Says who? Your mom?"

"Low blow, Bon... Especially since she's the reason I need you to pose as my girlfriend in the first place."

"What makes you think I want to spend my hard-earned vacation trailing you around your brother's wedding? I'd have to spend two weeks attached at your hip, you realize that, right?"

"So, what's new?" He shrugged. "We hang out all the time. I'm literally your best friend."

"Which is probably why we shouldn't be posing as each other's significant other." She shook her head. "What if we have to kiss? Do you have any idea how awkward that'll be?"

"You say 'awkward,' but all I hear is 'steamy.'"

"Can you be serious, please?"

"It'll be tough, but I can try."

Bonnie sighed. "You are my best friend, and as your best friend, I'm telling you, this is a terrible idea. Someone will find out. People will get hurt. And you will regret ever suggesting it."

"Or, nobody will find out, nobody gets hurt, and we all come home happy." He grinned. "You didn't have any plans for you little stay-cay anyway. You'd just end up watching everything on your DVR, sleeping in until noon, and trying your hand at cooking again. At least one of those things is a fire hazard. If you come with me, I will personally make sure you stay in the nicest place in town and only eat the finest food. Come on, Bon-Bon. It'll be fun. You love weddings."

"Usually I know the bride and groom," she reminded him.

"You know Stefan. You've met a few times." He shook his head dismissively. "And you'll love Caroline. She's all sunshine and unicorns wrapped in a neurotic, go-getting, cheerleader's body."

"That was strangely specific."

"When you first meet her, you think fuzzy little bunny rabbit made of marshmallow fluff, but she's got razor sharp teeth that only come out when she's defending her mom or Stefan."

"How long have they been together?" Bonnie wondered, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug and letting the heat sink into her. There was a faint chill in the air this early in the morning.

"Depends on who you ask. Mom says they've been basically inseparable since they were toddlers. They've been best friends since pre-school. They dated around in high school. Stefan had a very dramatic and not-exactly-healthy relationship with Elena's twin sister, Katherine. Anyway, long story short, those two blew up fast. Stefan leaned on Caroline for support, she got him through it, and, shocker, he fell for her. A year or so of will they/won't they later and those two were fused at the lips. Have been ever since. So, I don't know, what is he now, 26? Yeah, he's two years younger than me, that makes sense. Then, about eight years, I think."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was all very dramatic."

"So, wait, your brother dated the twin sister of your girlfriend? And that wasn't weird?"

"Katherine and Elena might look alike, but they're different people. If you ask me, we each dated the wrong sister. Katherine was wild; definitely more my type than Stefan's."

"And Elena?"

"More down-to-earth. She wanted to be a doctor, have a family, that kind of thing." He shrugged. "Katherine just wanted to make the world her bitch."

"Huh..." Bonnie stared down into her mug thoughtfully.

A little over six months ago, Damon and Elena had officially broken up. Thin walls said what Damon never could. Elena had fallen out of love with him and felt it was time to move on. Damon had been less receptive to the idea, still in love with her and willing to work it out. They fought, a lot, but eventually the slamming of a door was the last they heard from Elena. Apparently, she'd returned for her things at some point, moving out while Damon was at work. He didn't talk about it much, not even with Bonnie.

Bonnie and Damon had become friends some seven years ago. She'd moved into the apartment next to his and, one morning, stepped out onto her balcony to find him on his, completely naked as he drank his morning coffee. It was memorable, as first meetings go. He seemed to delight in shocking her, but did, eventually, throw on a pair of pants. After that, it was history. They were fast friends, often catching up before or after their work day, sharing a cup of coffee or something a little stronger. For her, it was wine, while he preferred his bourbon.

Damon was the co-owner of a nightclub downtown, but spent much of his time writing. Books, movie scripts, a little of everything really. He let her read some of his stuff. She was a fan of his poetry; but then, all of his writing painted a vivid picture in her head. He never sent them anywhere. He'd just get an idea, write it down, and feel better for getting it out of his head. It was a waste, in her opinion. He was talented, but he never chased it anywhere.

Damon came from a wealthy family that expected him to follow in his father's business savvy footsteps. The nightclub Damon owned was one of the most exclusive in town and had a reputation for being worth the hours you spent waiting in line to get inside. But, he had no passion for it. It paid well, sure, and he spent six of seven days doing whatever the club needed of him. Still, at the end of the day, she only ever really saw him happy when he talked about whatever book or script he'd been writing. That, and with Elena. At least for a while. In the last year or so, she'd noticed a dip in his mood around her. Frustrated more than blinded by love like he'd once been. Bonnie didn't dislike Elena. She was nice enough. They just hadn't clicked like Bonnie and Damon had. As a doctor, Elena kept busy hours, but when she was there, she was always friendly.

"So? What do you think?" Damon's voice jarred her from her thoughts.

Bonnie lifted her gaze to meet his. "Why is this so important to you? It can't just be because your mom will set you up with someone."

Damon grimaced and sunk a little lower in his seat. He mumbled something, muffled against the rim of his cup.

"Sorry? I couldn't hear you..."

"I said... Elena's going to be there. She moved back to Mystic Falls after we broke up. Stefan told me our mother already invited her. She's hoping we'll drift back together, I guess." He shrugged. "Anyway, I'd rather not show up looking like the pathetic son, desperate to get his ex-girlfriend back. So, I'm asking you... Bonnie, best and hottest friend I ever had, pretend to be my date to my brother's wedding... please?"

Bonnie stared at him, staring back at her, entirely too hopeful. Her heart sunk down into her stomach in the exact moment that she knew she was going to cave. "Fine."

He grinned. "Great. Then, there's just one rule..." His eyes were alight with laughter as he sat forward.

"Don't even say it," she muttered knowingly.

"You can't fall in love with me." He grinned broadly. "You'll be tempted, I'm sure. But, in an effort to preserve our friendship..."

Rolling her eyes, she stood from her chair. "Keep it up and I'll cancel on you last minute."

Damon laughed thickly. "No, you won't."

Unfortunately, he was right.

For some strange reason, she'd just signed on for something she was almost completely sure would end in disaster.

And yet... she was kind of looking forward to it. It would give her a chance to get out of town and dress up. And, much as she grumbled, she did enjoy hanging out with Damon. Though most days, their friendship was confined to their respective balconies, they'd gotten together elsewhere. Especially after his break-up with Elena, they'd hung out at the bar down the street, dancing to retro music on the juke box, playing pool, and challenging each other to a game of darts. At the end of the night, she'd kick her heels off and he'd give her a piggyback ride back to the apartment. Every other Thursday, they would get together to watch TV, camping out on her couch while he cooked them dinner. And once a month, he'd hand her his latest script or book to read and give feedback on. Theirs was a friendship she had grown to seriously rely on, and she couldn't imagine not having it. So, whatever happened back in Mystic Falls, she sincerely hoped it wouldn't damage them.

Of course, naïve as she was in that moment, she'd thought it could only backfire on Damon. Bonnie had no idea that pretending to be the girlfriend of her best and closest friend could, in fact, blow up in her face, too.

author's note: this was originally going to be part of a much larger story, but my interest in it kind of fizzled out. so this is what we've got. :) i hope you enjoyed it. i do like the easy banter between these two. it's always so fun to write.

thanks so much for reading! please try to leave a review!
~ Lee | Fina