Chapter 25

"Happy Christmas." Harry smiled shyly, closing the door behind him.

They were in Draco's room.

"Christmas is basically over."

"Not for you. You haven't even opened your gifts." Harry pointed at the pile of packages at the end of his bed.

Draco shrugged, "I'll get to it. Not really in the gift opening mood today."

"That's fair. I, uh, saw you, with Andy and Teddy. How was that?"

"It was . . . strange. My mother never talked about her sister growing up, not that she talked to me much at all. I guess they've spoken a bit, since the war ended, just a few owls, but Andromeda reached out first. She's very nice, looks and sounds a lot like my mother."

"Yeah, I always thought the same thing."

"Teddy is a cute little snapdragon, though, isn't he? I liked - I liked his festive hair."

"Yeah, he's really good at changing his appearance. Andy swears Tonks wasn't that good at his age."

They sat in silence, each standing at opposite ends of Draco's room.

Harry sighed loudly, "Look, I'm sorry -"

"Don't. I'm sorry, I - I overstepped last night. It was risky, and like you said, irresponsible. You know, you set these ground rules and I guess, I don't really know what to say, I just had to have you, especially after, you know, the previous events of the night, Not as though that's an excuse for the way I acted, but -" he stopped to take a breath.

"Stop. Just stop. You did . . . nothing wrong, or at least, nothing more wrong than I did. I wasn't upset with you, I was struggling with myself. My feelings are . . . stronger than I expected them to be, uhm, in such a short time."

"Mine, too." Draco admitted.

"I think my brain has just been on overload, I haven't been processing properly, and last night, with you, which was amazing and so, so, hot, to say the least -" Harry ran his hands through his hair, tense with nerves. "Uhm, I don't know what to do."

"Me either." Draco said quietly.

A terrifying silence fell between them.

Harry's stomach was in knots, and his throat was tight, holding back tears.

Draco's heart raced as he looked up at Harry.

"Okay. It's okay." Draco finally said.

"It is?" Harry sniffed, despite his efforts not to show his tears.

"Yeah, we - we can save this. Psh, you're Harry Potter! You're gonna let a little . . . awkwardness get in the way of what you want? And me? Have you ever seen me back down from a challenge?"

Harry smiled weakly at Draco, now looking confident with his small pep-talk, standing taller than before.

"Okay." Harry spoke quietly, feeling lighter.

Silence again.

"So . . ." Harry started.

"So we won't be physical, we jumped into this way too fast, after a big fight we had, the day before ten kids came over for three weeks. We let our emotions get the best of us and we were stupid, like dumb, hormonal ridden children. We're better than that. From now until the kids leave, we will not be physical, and you know, we'll just be associates."

"Fuck, that's going to be hard." Harry commented.

"Yeah, it will. But, as you said, the kids always come first. We can hold back for a couple weeks. And when the kids go back to school, we can think about us."

Harry's heart swelled with love, even if he denied the name of the feeling.

"Draco, that means . . . so much to me."

"It means a lot to me too, I feel a strange, unexpected, connection to these kids."

Harry closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Draco's waist, pulling him in for a hug. He rested his head against Draco's chest and closed his eyes, listening to his heart.

Draco laced his fingers behind Harry, keeping him close for a few minutes with Harry's head tucked under his head.

Both men were taking this as their last physical contact, one last before taking a leave of a physical relationship.

Harry pulled away, turning before giving in to the urge to kiss him.

He pivoted towards the pile of gifts and pulled one from the bottom, wrapped in silver with a wide green ribbon tied around forming a tight bow on top.

"I'm going to take this."

"Why?" Draco asked curiously.

"Uuuhhh, because it's from me and I don't think you want to open this now." Harry smirked, "I'll see you in the morning. G'night, Malfoy."

"'Night, Potter."

X*X*X*X*X

'Fuck, that's going to be hard' was an understatement, compared to the actual struggle of not being able to touch Draco.

I don't know if it was just the fact that I can't touch him that makes it more appealing, but not being able to touch Draco has been so difficult.

I took every opportunity I had to look at him. He helped all the kids with their potions homework, I watched as he cleared the table from dinner nightly. My favorite was watching him stretch, hearing his little squeaks and grunts, not to mention the rise of his shirt each time his arms extended above his head.

He always caught me looking at him, drooling, I'm sure, but he never made any move, attempted to tease, or even offered a devilish smile. He would just wave and return to whatever he was doing.

This annoyed me to no end, that he was better at playing the uninterested partner better than me.

Two days after Christmas, we held a birthday party for Jeremiah. I allowed him one bottle of butterbeer, the chance to say all the curse words he wanted, and gave him his pocket watch.

I cried a little when I gave him his watch, I'd seen him come into my life a scared 14 year old boy who'd been in the system for years. I made him a home and considered him mine, the first kid I ever took in. Sometimes, he called me 'dad' as a joke, but we both knew he meant it a little bit.

"Don't worry Harry, I'll still visit after I've graduated."

I laughed, "as if you'll have a choice. A bum like you isn't going to get a job right out of school."

"You're right. I'll need some place to crash." he hugged me and whispered a 'thank you' into my shoulder.

X*X*X*X*X

New Years Eve came with a big party, the kids invited their friends, all the Weasleys came, Ron and Hermione were back from Australia.

Harry hadn't spoken to his two best friends about his sort-of relationship with Draco, but Hermione sensed something was different.

George and Angelina, Seamus and Dean, Neville, McGonagall, everyone was in attendance. Although Ron wasn't happy that Draco had returned, Harry suggested he just ignore him.

As the clock was nearing midnight, Draco went to the kitchen for the toasting champagne, the only alcohol Harry allowed in the house while the kids were here, and only for one night. Draco walked out of the kitchen and walked right into Harry,

"This is familiar." Harry joked.

Draco looked at him longingly, but made no other movements.

"Oh, look. Mistletoe, that's handy." He glanced up and took half a step closer to Draco, "I suspect the Nargles."

Draco put his hand on Harry's chest, stopping him from moving any closer.

"Harry, please. This is already difficult."

"It's not breaking the rules if there's mistletoe" Harry pouted.

Draco released a long breath through his nose, "If you kiss me right now, mistletoe or not, I won't be able to stop. So Please."

Harry suddenly felt very guilty for trying to break the rules when Draco was trying to be honorable; the mistletoe vanished.

Draco took the champagne into the other room for all the guests, only 5 minutes now until midnight struck; he snuck into the room to celebrate.

The clock struck, everyone charmed harmless fireworks in the air above, those with someone, kissed until the clock read 12:01. Everyone cheered and kissed cheeks with one another, sipping down their champagne.

Within the hour, everyone had gone home, the kids had gone to bed, and it was just Harry and Draco in the sitting room at opposite ends of the couch.

Draco had his long legs stretched out in front him, crossed at the ankles. His head tilted back, resting against the couch.

Harry had his knees pulled up wrapped under his arms looking at Draco.

His breathing was deep, Harry might have thought he was sleeping.

"Stop staring, Potter. It's not polite." Draco looked up and smiled, "I've had to tell you that quite often."

"I can't help it." was the only defense Harry had to offer.

"We've made it an entire week. How are you holding up?"

"Terribly," Harry answered honestly, still looking at the man he wanted to touch so badly.

Even his hand briefly on his chest nearly an hour ago nearly made Harry undone.

"Me too." Draco laughed.

"You sure we have to do this?"

He nodded.

"I know," Harry said, defeated, "goodnight."

X*X*X*X*X

"Let's go! We're gonna miss the train and I am not apparating all ten of you to Hogwarts. Not after last time!"

"I could just apparate myself, you know." Jeremiah joked.

"Naw, you couldn't, 'cause you couldn't pass your bloody test!" Harry mocked his oldest.

"Ha. ha."

Draco came down the staircase levitating four trunks and carrying one, "Hey, Jer," he said, "since you can do magic now without being sent to Azkaban, put yourself to some good use and go help the twins, Benny, and Alexis get their things down here and into the car, please?"

"Alright, but only 'cause you said please."

"Move, Harry," Draco ordered, "you could help, too, I'm not a mule."

"Me?! I've done everything up until this point!"

"Stop bickering, you two, let's just go." Olivia barked from the sidewalk.

"Jeremiah, Megan, Jason, Chloe, Sarah, Darla, Devin, Benny, Alexis!" Harry called into the house, "The car is leaving, if you're not in it, have fun writing to the headmistress!"

The kids came crashing down the stairs, Jeremiah in the back hovering the trunks.

Harry nodded happily as Jeremiah set the last trunk into the back of the car and slid himself in.

Draco and Harry collected carts for all the luggage, pushing and pulling in a large group to reach Platforms Nine and Ten. One by one, the students walked through the brick wall followed by Harry and Draco. Each one of them came up and hugged Harry goodbye, and surprisingly, Draco as well.

Draco felt very loved at the moment, as Benny hugged him tight around the waist. Benny had said merely thirty words to Draco the entire holiday, but looked up eagerly at him and asked if he'd be around at Easter.

"I hope so." Draco smiled down at the small, brown-eyed, boy.

Draco stood next to Harry as the train rolled away, their hands raised in a last goodbye.

He inexplicably felt the sting of tears in his eyes and rubbed at them quickly.

Harry turned to him as soon as the train was out of sight, "so. We made it three weeks with zero physical contact. Can we touch now?"

"Yeah, I reckon that's okay."

Harry laced his fingers through Draco's and brought his hand to his mouth. He pressed his warm lips against it, letting his kiss linger.

Draco, despite his best efforts, had thought of little else in his spare time than snogging Harry, pulling his clothes off and making him moan, taking him and making him beg like Christmas Eve; this simple touch melted Draco. He was putty in Harry's hands, unable to form a sentence.

"I'm taking you home now," Harry whispered, "and I'm going to touch you anywhere I want."

Draco nodded and they were gone.