Warning: Lots of language in this one guys sorry
"What?" screamed Paul.
"We're doing this tonight?" asked Sam.
"If we're fine," said Collin, "can we go?"
"No," I said. "And yes we're doing this tonight. Well, we're starting this tonight."
"Starting?" asked Quil.
"Pack dynamics is complex. It might take a couple of sessions."
"Sibling rivalry is common. Don't you have brothers and sisters?" asked Seth.
"I am a single child, but this isn't sibling rivalry. You are taking your personal pain out on each other."
"No we're not!" yelled Paul.
"You're putting us all in therapy for Leah's problems?" asked Jared. "How is that fair?"
"Shut up!" said Leah growling.
"Oh bite me, bitch!"
"Happy to!"
Leah and Jared started to jump at each other snapping at one another.
"Enough!" I said, and they stopped fighting. "Okay, everyone pick a rock or something that you can get comfortable on."
Seth went and laid down on a log, Leah got up on a high boulder, the rest of the pack laid down or sat on places on the forest floor.
"Okay, all of you have been phasing for at least six weeks, so I want you to tell me your reaction to it. And don't just tell me it sucks, tell me what you don't like. Are you scared? Angry? Sad? Happy? What? And why?"
No one said anything. Finally I said, "We got all night and tomorrow is Sunday, so yall have nowhere to be."
Finally, Quil shook his big brown head. "I like it," said Quil. "You know before I phased I was really lonely and didn't have any friends, but now I have this whole group I get to hang out with everyday. I have never been so close with a group of people."
"Okay. So the pack is a sense of community to you. That's great Quil."
"I like it too," said Seth. "Billy says that we're like warriors and we are protectors and that's really cool."
"Yeah, that is cool. The pack gives you a sense of purpose and achievement." I said looking around to the others and saw that they weren't talking. I realized we needed some negative traits of being a werewolf.
"Well," I said. "I know I have only been a werewolf for like five days, and I was asleep for three of them, but I hate being a werewolf, for a couple of reasons. One, it connects me to my father, and my dad was not really a great person. He gave me over to the Volturi where I was tortured until I was bitten, so I don't like having that bond with him. Also, I have lived as a vampire for so long I know all the rules, you know how to hunt, how to stand human blood, how to fit in with humans, I don't know anything about being a werewolf. I mean just phasing hurts. Also, you know all of my family are vampires, except you guys, so I'm kind of all alone. I can't call my mom and talk to her about how scary it was to phase for the first time, cause she's never done it. And the Cullens, they like can't be around me anymore. And I am so sick I am missing sessions and now Bella got sick. So yeah, I could live without it."
"I hate to break it to you," said Leah, "but it gets worse."
"Oh fantastic," I said.
"I am fine with being a werewolf," said Jacob. "Just Bella looks at me differently because of it. She thinks that I am angrier and can't control myself more. She would love me more if I was human."
"If love is conditional," I asked. "Is it love?"
"Dude, she is so bad news for you," said Quil.
"Maybe with this medicine," Jacob said, "She can come around."
"Jake," warned Sam.
"Get off it Sam!" yelled Jacob.
"Okay, were changing subjects," I said. "If he doesn't want to listen to you, Sam, you can't make him, Jared, you want to go?"
"I guess everything has been said. It's fun but it comes at a price. You don't feel human anymore. Things get better when you imprint."
"Okay. Good summary. Paul?"
"Okay, I guess the first time I saw a dead body, I threw up. And I get angry a lot that the Cullens are even allowed to be here, because they are what cause us to phase. No offense Sisi. I didn't have any plans after high school so my life doesn't suck there, but it just makes everything ten times worse."
"Makes you really emotional," I said.
"Yeah," Paul said.
"Okay. Who's next?"
"I guess," said Embery. "I don't mind the phasing, just everything is so hard. My parents don't know anything, so like I am grounded right now for sneaking out, and I am gonna get grounded again for sneaking out tonight. I don't have an imprint, not like I want one, but just there supposed to make stuff better. Everything is kind of, grey, if that makes sense."
I sighed. "Maybe we can tell your parents something that is not the whole secret. Doesn't Sam have some clout with the adults? Can't we just say that you're doing something for him."
"Not till 2 in the morning every night."
I bit my lip. "Let me work on it. And I don't like you feeling grey."
"I am doing good," said Colin.
"Me too," said Brady.
"When do we get to meet girls?" asked Colin.
I rolled my eyes, and put my paw out. "You have to be this tall to ride."
Everyone laughed but Collin and Brady. Brady puffed out his chest, and Colin stood up on his hinds legs to make himself feel taller.
"Leah, how are you doing?" I said, ignoring the boys.
She sighed. "Well, it would help if you weren't so damn pleasant and the guys got that I was going through something."
"I'll snap at people. I promise," I said.
"I don't know what my problem is. Maybe I'm just like Bella and I can't get over a fucking guy."
Sam bowed his head in shame.
"Okay," I said slowly, "lets examine the last three months of your life. You changed into a werewolf, which should not have happened but it did, your father died before your eyes, you had to basically grovel at your ex-boyfriend to help you understand a whole new world, it doesn't help that his fiance is your ex-best friend and cousin, and you want to fight your way out and move on, but we are pretty sure you cant imprint, or have kids. Is that a pretty fare statement?"
Leah choked back a sob. "Yeah."
"Leah, no one could handle that, okay. My mom knows everything about you guys cause I have to report to someone, but she just knows case numbers and diagnoses and stuff, she couldn't pick you out of a line up. She is worried about you. Seriously, you. She tells me all the time 'keep an eye on the girl werewolf she has too much on her'. Okay. Cause lets face it, making a smart remark to Sam is only that satisfying. Leah, you have been through a lot, and we need to get you some coping skills. And you know what, if you can go through all that and come out of it and the worst the guys can come up with is 'she is annoying and mean', that's pretty damn good."
Leah grinned at me through her tears. Seth went over and sat by her. They muzzled each other giving one another a hug. I could feel through our connection that Leah was comforted.
"Sam, thoughts?" I asked.
"Let's go home," he said. He turned and started walking towards La Push.
"Hey!" said Seth.
"How come we didn't get to say that?" asked Collin.
"Sam!" I said in my alpha voice. He stopped walking. "Come back here."
Slowly, he turned around, and walked back toward the group.
"How did you do that?" asked Brady.
"Doctors orders," I said.
Sam came and sat down. I could tell by his body language that he was pissed. He had never had an alpha order placed on him before, and he hated it.
"I don't want to talk right now," he said.
"Sam, we got all night. What is your reaction to phasing?"
Everyone sat and stared at Sam. His mind was blank, literally blank. He wasn't thinking of Emily, Leah, his mom, his dad, the Cullens, nothing.
I met his challenge. I just sat there and stared at him. I decided that his eyes were yellow, actually, they were hazel with specks of brown in them. He had kind of a black bear shaped nose. I think he was six three, more likely six four on all four paws, about six seven human, and most likely weighed about 190 pounds, all muscle.
"You sizing me up?"
"You giving me nothing to work with so I got to make something up. Now you gonna talk to me or is this going to take us til three in the morning?"
"What do you want?"
"I want you to tell me that Billy is not gonna get me up at three o'clock in the morning cause you have a gun to your head."
"I would never try to kill myself."
"Again. You would never try to kill yourself again."
"What?!" screamed Paul.
"Oh my god," said Leah.
"Fuck you," said Sam.