Holding It In

"So how's Thea been doing?" Jude asked, "I've just been calling her so I still feel pretty disconnected." She said, sitting in the kitchen with her mother later that night. The kids were asleep and Punk was with Sean in the living room watching hockey.

"She's doing good." AJ nodded positively, "Yeah, she's still on the right track. She still isn't sure if she'll be leaving on the six week mark but… I guess it's good she recognise if she feels ready or not."

"She's come such a long way." Jude nodded, "And getting this… borderline personality disorder couldn't have been easy at all. I've looked into it over the past few weeks and… it's just strange how it all kinda adds up. Makes sense." She said.

"Yeah, it's been keeping me awake at night." AJ admitted, "Cause all the symptoms listed are ones she's had since she was… eighteen." She said, "I wish I took more notice."

"Hey, you did." Jude said, "There's no way you can feel like you didn't do enough for her back then. I think her drinking and addictions maybe had the illness sitting in the shadows. Apparently that's kinda common with mental illnesses." She nodded.

"Yeah." AJ nodded, "But she's been handling it pretty well. I'm real proud of her."

"Yeah, me too." Jude smiled, "How is Cassie doing with all this stuff that's been going on?"

"She's ok. You know how she is. Doesn't really speak much about things." AJ shook her head.

"Yeah, it's like trying to get blood from a stone." Jude nodded.

"I think there's some questioning about how their boss at work has handled everything." AJ nodded, "I'm just glad that they got the case wrapped up. Less scum on the streets is never a bad thing." She nodded, "Just hate that you had to get brought into it."

"Always the bait." Jude nodded to herself as AJ sighed, "I got a phone call from Karen. The detective who worked my case."

"Oh, really?" AJ asked.

"Yeah, last night." Jude said, "She was super nice. Just wanted to check in on me after hearing about the photographs." She said.

"That was nice of her." AJ nodded.

"Yeah, she's a nice person." Jude smiled, "I figured maybe I could burn the photos. Might be like some sort of spiritual healing process." She shrugged as AJ smiled.

"Sounds like it." AJ said.

"It's just a little hard cause… well I don't remember really what happened that night I was attacked. It's like flashes. I never really could have guessed what he actually did." She nodded, "Seeing the pictures made me feel like I could see it all in full motion." She shook her head.

"No one should have to go through that, let alone have to… see photographs of it. It's just… it's awful, and I'm so sorry." AJ frowned. There was nothing more she could say.

"It's ok. I'll… I'll get through it." Jude nodded to her positively, "If I can get through the actual attack at the time then I can… I can get through seeing those pictures." Jude said as AJ nodded.

"Of course you can." AJ smiled.

"I'm glad you guys are here for the weekend. I miss you at times like this." She admitted.

"I know, we miss you too." AJ nodded, "It actually feels nice to get out of Chicago for a little bit. Work has been really stressful." She shook her head.

"Why? What's going on?" Jude asked her.

"Well there's a new CEO so there's been a lot of new things I've to do. At times it's been like starting a completely new job." AJ shook her head.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a little challenge every now and then." Jude shrugged.

"Yeah, but I'm old." AJ laughed, "I don't care about the challenges."

"You're not old." Jude scoffed.

"Well…" AJ scoffed.

"It's just cause it's new and different. You'll get used to it." Jude nodded to her.

"Yeah, I know." AJ nodded, "Then… I feel sort of bad telling you when I haven't told your father yet but… Joey is working at the company again." AJ looked at her.

"Uh… who is that?" Jude shook her head with confusion.

"You know… the guy I dated for a little bit when your dad was in prison." AJ said.

"Oh." Jude raised her eyebrows, "Oh, him?" She scowled suddenly as she remembered.

"Yeah." AJ nodded.

"Yeah, I didn't like him." Jude shook her head, "And Thea really didn't like him." She remembered.

"I know." AJ sighed.

"Why haven't you told dad yet?" Jude asked.

"Well I wanted to but then things got pretty crazy over the past few days. Feel like I've not got the chance." AJ said, "We only ever spoke about it briefly. It's just… a little uncomfortable."

"Well do you have to work with him?" Jude asked.

"No, he's just on my floor." AJ said.

"So it shouldn't be a problem. You don't need to have contact with him." Jude said.

"Yeah, I know that but he came into my office and like… had a five minute conversation with me. Asking me about you and your sisters. He was being nice." AJ shrugged.

"So?" Jude laughed, "Sometimes you have to run into people that you've slept with. It's awkward and weird, but it… it doesn't mean anything." She shrugged.

"I know that. I just know your dad will be a little… uncomfortable knowing that he's working there again." AJ said.

"Well tough. He'll need to put on his big boy pants and get over it." AJ said, "Y'all aren't teenagers anymore. I'd think this sort of drama is behind you." She laughed a little.

"Yeah, tell me about it." AJ nodded, "Sorry, listen to me with my poor little problems." She shook her head as Jude just laughed.

"No, this is good. This is distracting me." Jude assured her as AJ smiled, "But you should let him know about it. Just so it doesn't seem like your hiding it."

"Yeah, I know. I'll tell him when we go to the hotel later." AJ nodded.

"I assume Theo is pretty mad then." Thea said, sitting at the table and chairs in her room with her sister and nephew having breakfast which they'd sweetly brought for her.

"Yeah, I think he's even more mad than he's showing." Cassie said, "And I really don't blame him. The whole thing has been ridiculous."

"You think it was personal?" Thea asked her.

"I don't." Cassie shook her head, "I mean… for something to be personal, we'd have to know someone involved with it and we don't. I think… I think Theo was just unlucky to be put on this case and he just became a target that they needed off their backs."

"Yeah well that's what scum like them do. They don't have a target. They have all the mini targets around their main target. Going after you, Chase, involving Jude." Thea shook her head, "Who knows maybe someone was coming in here to suffocate me with a pillow next." She shrugged as Cassie looked at her.

"Why are you the way you are?" Cassie groaned as Thea smiled.

"Well I'm just glad you're all ok. And Jude seems like she's doing good, given how horrific that had to be to see those pictures." Thea shook her head, "I spoke to her the other night."

"Yeah, me too." Cassie said.

"I take it Theo's got a lot of work to do at the station then?" Thea asked her.

"Yeah, pretty much." Cassie said.

"Mommy." Chase tapped Cassie's arm.

"What?" Cassie turned to him.

"I'm finished eating." Chase told her as Cassie examined how much he'd ate.

"Ok, good boy." Cassie smiled, brushing her hand over the back of his hair, "There's some of your toy cars in my purse if you wanna go play with them." She said, picking up her purse and handing him his favourite toy cars.

"Ok." Chase nodded, jumping down from the chair, finding a little space on the floor to play with his cars.

"He's so good." Thea smiled sweetly.

"I know." Cassie smiled, watching him play.

"You want another one?" Thea asked her.

"I don't know." Cassie turned to her, "I mean, yeah in the future for sure but… I don't think right now is a good time." She shook her head.

"Well you're still pretty young so I'd say you got time." Thea laughed a little as Cassie nodded.

"How are James and Sofia?" Cassie asked.

"They've still been coming up most nights." Thea smiled, "They had a sleepover with me at the weekend there. It was really fun actually. We got pizza and we watched some movies. It's kinda helping me feel like I'm… getting ready to come home I guess." She nodded.

"It's the best way. Just edging yourself back in slowly." Cassie nodded.

"I've found a therapist outwith the facility to start with when I get out of here." Thea told her.

"That's good." Cassie said, "And you'll go once a week?" She asked.

"Yeah, or two if I feel I need it." Thea nodded, "It's just sort of weird addressing other things that aren't to do with my addiction anymore. But at the same time I know it's been helping." She said.

"You look really good." Cassie nodded to her.

"Yeah, I've put weight on." Thea rolled her eyes a little, "All the food you're bringing me."

"You need to put weight on." Cassie assured her, "You look healthy now. You'll be getting stronger every day." She nodded.

"Yeah I was like… not eating for a long time before coming in here. I was just drinking." Thea shook her head.

"I'm sorry." Cassie shook her head as Thea looked up.

"What for?" Thea asked.

"For not… noticing." Cassie said, "For not checking in with you and letting it get so out of hand." She sighed, "It's not very sisterly of me."

"Hey, you're not my babysitter." Thea assured her, "You don't gotta apologise. It got out of control pretty quickly. And then it was… it was too far gone." She nodded.

"I'm just really glad you're getting better." Cassie nodded, "I've missed you." She admitted.

"I've missed you too." Thea smiled, "And thanks for always coming to see me. You know I hate the fuss but… it's good talking to you." She nodded as Cassie smiled.

"I just hope Theo is keeping his cool with Jake." Cassie said.

"Well it was a pretty dick move to make on Jake's part." Thea shook her head.

"Yeah, well he can be a dick." Cassie nodded, "I just hope Theo rises above that. I know how precious his job is to him and if people are fucking with him, his own boss, I know he ain't gonna stand and take it." Cassie said.

"Well he shouldn't. Theo's a good cop. You'd think Jake would give him a little more respect." Thea said as Cassie nodded.

"I'm sure he'll let me know how it went when I get home later." Cassie nodded, "I'm taking Chase for swimming lessons in the afternoon."

"Oh, that sounds like fun." Thea smiled as Cassie nodded.

"Yeah, I figured something to take my mind off of things." Cassie nodded.

"You're just desperate to become the sporty mom, aren't you?" Thea smirked.

"I am not." Cassie scoffed as Thea chuckled.

"It's so obvious." Thea nodded.

"Shut up." Cassie shook her head, throwing a ketchup packet at her sister as Thea smiled.