To Stan, it seemed Ford always had the best greetings. I mean a crossbow in the face and now a fist? This was just great.

Stan briefly wondered why he had brought his brother back. Oh yeah, love, Stan could almost live without it. Not that Ford knew anything about love... The dumb genius probably thought it was a chemical or something.

Stan yelled in pain, then glared at Ford. "What was that for?!" He asked, rubbing his injured jaw.

Ford's newest betrayal stung more than the hit. Ford must actually hate Stan. And Stan didn't really know why. His brother must really hold grudges.

"This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal. Didn't you read my warnings?!"

Stan was about to respond to Ford's question, but something distracted him.

From behind Ford, a neon green thing that looked like a fuzzy rope, with wings and sharp teeth, barreled at Stan, it's bright blue wings beating almost as quickly as a hummingbird. It gave a small screech and opened it's mouth wide, coming straight for Stan's face.

"Aah!" Stan yelled, scrambling away from the creature. He held his hands out towards it, to protect the rest of him. "What is that?! Kill it! Kill it!"

"What?" Ford asked, sounding horrified, "No!"

Stan squeezed his eyes shut, and braced himself for more pain. But none came. After a moment of complete stillness he cracked them open again.

The snake-thing was curled around Ford's arm, squeezing it tightly, parts of Ford's sleeve puffing out from the places where the snake's body wasn't keeping it as close to Ford's skin as possible.

"His name is Ultimatum, and he's my wing-ed furry snake!" Ford said defensively, stroking 'Ulimatum's' thin body. "Kill your own pet!"

"Oh my goodness! A furry snake!" Stan was too busy watching said snake slither up Ford's arm and curl itself around his shoulders than to notice Mabel barrel past him. "I love it!"

Ford smiled down at Mabel, then flashed Stan a look that meant his brother now had a death sentence. He patted Ultimatum's head and nodded, "Thank you." He said, and Mabel held a hand out to stroke Ultimatum.

"That's not the best idea, he doesn't like to be..." Ford's sentence trailed off as Ultimatum's tongue tasted the tips of Mabel's fingers and he slithered onto her arm. "Would you look at that." He breathed, "You must smell like me."

Mabel's head and eyes followed Ultimatum's path around her shoulders and into one of her sweater sleeves. Ford's eyebrows went up and he tentatively reached a hand out towards her.

"Yes you can stay in my sweater." Mabel said, patting a bulge on the side of her sweater covered stomach. "He tickles!"

Ford sighed, and chuckled slightly. "He must really like you." He mused. "Anyway, what are you doing here? Why would you bring a child to this place Stan?"

Stan blinked, and said, "She's our niece. Shermie's granddaughter."

"I have a niece?!" Ford breathed, like he couldn't believe it. He smiled softly at the girl, who was helping Ultimatum slither out of her pink sweater. "That's amazing."

"Here you go Grunkle... Uh, I'm sorry, I don't know your name yet." Mabel said, letting Ultimatum flap up to Ford.

"Oh, it's Stanford, but you can call me Ford." Ford answered, letting Ultimatum curl up around his shoulders again. Stan winced as Mabel put her hands on her hips and said, "Well that can't be right... Grunkle Stan! I thought you were Stanford."

"Oh... Uh... Yeah... About that..." Stan mumbled, rubbing his neck, "I maybe, kinda, sort of... Stole your name." Stan told Ford's, who glared at him.

"I'm beginning to regret not letting Ultimatum bite your nose off..." Ford muttered under his breath. "What have you been doing all these years you knucklehead?!"

"Thank you all so much for allowing me to stay in your village these past couple of weeks." .

Ford adjusted his sling of items, grateful to feel the weight of several weeks worth of food attached to it. He smiled at the kind cat-like people all around him. At least, he thought they were cats. Everything in that particular Dimension was fuzzy.

"Yes. Yes." The village 'grandmother' said, reaching into her own bag. She pulled out a bright blue egg, and handed it to Ford. "This is a gift. From us to you." She clarified, in her sort-of Indian accent. "Inside is a mons- creature, that bonds with the first person who's blood it... The first person it sees..."

No red flags about this. None whatsoever.

"Have a good rest of your travels!" The village told him as he entered the nearest Vortex, his new egg held tight to his chest. "Don't come back!"

Yup. No red flags.

"Wait! Is that a thirty-eight sided die from Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons?!"

Dipper had been too startled by his fall and Ford's upset expression to notice the green snake curled into a pile on Ford's head. But with his great uncle's head tilted slightly down Dipper could see the reptile(?) just fine.

"Yeah! You know that game?"

Poor Ultimatum. Ford grabbed the die from Dipper and inspected it happily, jerking his head up and making the snake loose a bit of it's balance. Ford calmly lifted his pet's tail away from where it had fallen into his face.

"This is my favorite... One moment." Ford lifted Ultimatum off of his head entirely, and pushed him off, letting the snake flap away from him and recurl on one of his coffee cup covered shelves.

"This is my favorite game in the whole Multiverse!"

"Thank you for letting me borrow your brother Mabel. While we're gone, why don't you watch Ultimatum for me."

The snake hissed a bit as Ford dropped it into Mabel's welcoming hands. "Sure thing Grunkle Ford." Mabel said, bringing the snake up her her cheek and rubbing it against it's blue wings. "I'll make sure nothing happens to him."

"I'm sure you will." Ford answered, rubbing the top of her head affectionately. "Have fun getting your party planned. Boy I miss birthday parties..."

Stan was the tiniest bit freaked out when Ultimatum came flapping back to the shack. Especially since he'd already been frightened by a giant Gompers.

But it was what Ultimatum's return meant that scared Stan the most.

"Hey buddy," Stan told the alien creature, "What's wrong? Where's your..." Stan thought for a moment, he was going to say Where's your daddy but he had thought better of it. "Where's Ford? And Mabel?"

The snake just curled itself around Stan's arm, and wouldn't (probably couldn't) answer him.

"Don't worry, it's okay... I've saved them before..." Stan 'told' Ultimatum. He stroked his head and mumbled the rest to himself, "And I can do it again."

"Kids! I knew you could do it!"

Ford didn't mind that his entire body was screaming at him. He picked his niece and nephew up in his arms and squeezed them against him. He gently set them on the ground and spun around.

A squawk let him know where his pet was.

"Ultimatum!" He cried, almost as loudly as he had when he saw the kids. "Thank goodness." He let the snake fly up to him, and he stroked it lovingly. "Now. I've been feeding you plenty of triangle shaped food, just for this moment. Go help everyone else!"

"Uh... Ford?" Stan said, lifting a finger, "I don't think one snake will..."

The townsfolk watched in stunned fascination as Ultimatum's entire body began to shake. Ford's smile grew along with his pet. Within moments the snake was as long as a bus.

"Go get him! I'll show them the Zodiac!" Ford cried, watching Ultimatum fly away. "I love my snake."

Hey guys! I'm back again!

This was inspired by TFD's prompt on if Ford had a pet when he came out of the portal. I chose a furry, flying, size-altering snake! Yeah! That makes sense.

Thank you guys for the reviews and prompts! I'll be working on them shortly.

Have a great day! Stay happy, healthy, safe and weird!

-BrilliantLight