Steven's gaze locked with the human's, and the soldier froze.
Time seemed to move in slow motion. Her eyes seemed to widen, staring at him; the recognition that flashed through her gaze was unmistakable, and, honestly, he already figured he knew her. He already figured that the tugging at the back of his mind was for a reason; the emotions connected to her were… different. There was still guilt, so much of it. That was an emotion that seemed to stay with him no matter what, he noticed numbly. Guilt, and confusion, and apprehension. But he could tell, the moment he locked his gaze with hers, she was… important. Very important. He blinked a few times, rolling his shoulders back and lowering the scythe to diminish it again as the human slid off of the pink creature's back, walking forward slowly. His gaze flicked toward the sword in her hand for a moment, watching it droop until it was dragging through the sand, and then she just let it go altogether. That alone… it looked familiar.
"Steven," the human whispered, pausing in front of him. Steven flicked his gaze back up to her, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. Honestly, he only reacted to the name because he knew it was what the people on Earth were calling him. It had apparently been his name, before. 'Steven'. The word replayed in his mind a few times, hearing her voice echo through his head as it did. He tilted his head slightly, not knowing what to say, and she took another step forward, almost cautious. Then - before the hybrid had a chance to react, or compose himself, or push the memories back just enough for him to be able to process the situation that was happening now - she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around him. He stumbled back with a gasp and lifted his arms slightly, pupils shrinking as he stared down at the human clinging to him.
Like with Berry, her hug was… warm. But the human was also much taller; she and Steven stood at about the same height. When she hugged him, her arms wrapped around him completely, folded firmly around his torso with her fingers digging into the back of his uniform. He felt them pressing against the scars on his back, and for a moment, he almost felt the electricity racing up his spine in response, a phantom pain, remembering exactly how he'd received most of the scars that resided there. She held him close to her, his body pressed against hers, and buried her face into his shoulder. It only took him a few seconds to realize that she was hugging him, not attacking him - and it took him even longer to realize she was crying. Her shoulders were shaking, shuddering slightly as she held onto him, her body wracked with silent sobs as she pressed her face further into his shoulder and sucked in a shuddery gasp. And… it hurt. His chest ached for her, a mixture of sympathy and confusion, and… sorrow.
After standing there for a while in silence, with his hands still in the air, he finally lowered them. He hesitated initially, not really knowing what to do, before carefully settling his hands on her shoulders. He felt her still under his touch - and he almost flinched away, honestly. Not because she had frozen, but because the feeling was much different from just touching sand, or his hair. It hurt, and yet it didn't at the same time. It was a different kind of sensation, a feeling that sank through his flesh, piercing through and spreading to every part of his body. The fear, briefly, diminished. Confusion and shock remained, along with awe, with longing. And he found himself aching when the human suddenly pulled away, left feeling cold, empty by the loss of contact.
He almost wanted to reach for her, to tell her not to go, but he couldn't force the words out. "Y- You're back, you're- you're alive-" She gasped, and Steven jolted slightly under her touch when she abruptly grabbed his shoulders, leaning back to look him over. He stayed still, just staring at her as she assessed him; watching her expression shift, watching the confusion settle in, the realization, the surprise. She flicked her gaze back up to him again, curling her fingers around his shoulders for a second before she pulled back again, and once more, he mourned the contact when she pulled away from him, this time completely enough to look him over again. "Are you okay? Y- you…" She looked back up at him again, wide eyes meeting his once more. Steven just furrowed his eyebrows again, watching her. "You… you look… different…" The human finally seemed to falter, another realization steadily creeping in, and the tearful relief in her eyes slowly fizzled out to concern, and alarm, and confusion. "You're acting different…"
"I'm… sorry," Steven managed, not knowing what else to say. He couldn't stop staring at her, and he didn't know why. This was a human. Not a gem; she was a human. An Earthling he didn't remember ever having met before. Berry had insisted he was half-human, but he'd fought so hard to keep that particular information locked away with his memories, something he refused to think about no matter how much she called him 'hybrid', or how many scars he received during training, or during the frequent punishments he had received for the first few months after everything had changed. He didn't remember ever knowing a human before. He'd heard about them on Homeworld, heard mutters and murmurs, but never anything specific. He only knew enough to be able to identify one, but even that was a long shot sometimes, too…
She stared at him for a few moments longer before she looked away again, past him to where the other gems were. He watched her gaze flick toward Lemon Lime and Berry, and he couldn't help but glance over after a second, himself. They were both still, and silent; the Ruby was watching the human in silence, almost looking fascinated, herself, and while the Peridot still looked rather nervous, he had relaxed and sat back down in the sand beside Berry again. "Guys," the human said slowly, hesitantly, cautiously. "What's… what's going on?"
Steven paused and stepped back after a moment, somewhat hesitant now, and turned his head to glance back at the others. The gems paused, exchanging quick glances between them, then glanced back at Steven again, clearly hesitant. After a moment, though, the Pearl suddenly pushed herself up again, brushing some of the sand off of her pants and nodding toward the structure the giant, stone fusion was connected to. "I'll explain… and call Greg," she mumbled the last part a little quieter, but Steven caught it anyway. He glanced after the human as she walked past him again, catching her gaze once more and leaning back slightly with a frown. He hadn't meant to upset her - he hadn't even interacted with her for that long. She was rubbing her eyes, trying to dry them of the tears Steven knew had brewed there, but the hybrid stayed silent. He just leaned back on his feet, perplexed, and watched her and the pale gem walk away.
"Did I do something?" He finally asked, sparing a bewildered glance toward Garnet and the Amethyst, who exchanged another glance, looking worried. "I didn't mean to upset the human-"
"You didn't do anything," the Amethyst assured quickly, shaking her head, and Steven fell silent. Well, he must have done something wrong. He usually did. He had only just adjusted to Homeworld's rules, and he was still adjusting even then. He had just gotten to a point where he wasn't getting in trouble every other day for one thing or another. Adjusting to Earth, he realized blankly, was going to be even harder, wasn't it? New rules, new things to adjust to. New people. He needed to watch his step, probably even more so than he had before. It was easier when he knew what was expected of him. He was a soldier. Nothing else. He fought, he followed commands, he apologized when he did something wrong and he accepted his punishments. And if he wasn't doing that… then what was he good for? What else was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to know what to do, if nobody here was telling him what to do?
He grimaced, glancing after the Pearl and the human again, but he stayed silent after that. Silence was probably his best bet, right? He couldn't say or do anything compromising if he just stayed silent, and stayed still. So, he resolved to do that, rolling his shoulders back and straightening up and silently deciding not to move - only to do just that, with a startled gasp, when he felt something brush against him. He stepped to the side, stumbling slightly. And, honestly, he was just about ready to summon his scythe when he finally caught a glimpse of what had touched him. The pink creature had moved forward, and was still advancing despite the hybrid's startled retreat, leaning forward and lowering its head to stare at him in silence.
Steven hesitated, leaning back on his feet. "Hello…"
"That's Lion," Garnet told him, as the hybrid lifted his hands slightly toward the pink creature, flinching a little despite himself when it leaned forward, nostrils flaring, its giant face and nose hovering only inches away from his chest. "He's… a lion. One of the many different types of animals and creatures on Earth." After a short pause, the fusion added, "you used to say he was kind of like your pet - and don't worry, he's relatively harmless." She let out a chuckle, and while Steven did flinch slightly at the almost indignant huff Lion offered in response, he cracked a hesitant smile at the creature this time. Relatively harmless. Alright, that was… reassuring…
Lion continued to assess him, nostrils flaring again as he lifted his head upwards, sniffing the hybrid's face. Steven flinched again, but he remained still, dutifully letting him continue his investigation. He couldn't help but feel relieved when he finally pulled back - but he wasn't expecting the 'animal' to abruptly press himself forward again, and he couldn't stifle a surprised gasp once again when he felt the creature press himself against him, pupils shrinking. But just as he had been about to pull back, Lion's head pressed against his chest - and he froze. He froze because the contact wasn't painful, or uncomfortable. He paused because the creature abruptly lifted his head upwards, pressing it right up under Steven's chin, and the hybrid's eyes widened as he let the pink animal lift his head up. The wispy hair around Lion's head tickled him, bringing a startled laugh from Steven's lips as he flinched back again, this time out of surprise. But he stayed close enough to let the animal continue pressing against him, letting him rub his head under his chin again, pressing even closer than before and… rumbling.
"Guess he missed you, too," the Amethyst commented quietly. Steven found himself unable to speak, as Lion's face pressed against his, and while he winced, he did huff out another laugh. He was so soft, and warm, and fluffy; he finally raised his hands to the sides of Lion's face, digging his fingers loosely into the animal's fur, and lightly pushed the animal back a little bit. The affection was… well, he'd just go ahead and say it was startling, though it was certainly much more than that. He just couldn't think of a stronger word right then. And the contact…
… the contact was different, but not something he could complain about, either.
Steven paused, keeping his hands where they were for a moment. He felt Lion's head press forward, leaning into the hybrid's touch. He was just so soft - Steven was fascinated by how anything could feel that… gentle. Especially something as big, and as scary-looking as the large pink animal was. He stayed silent for a while after that, eventually trailing his hands upwards; they seemed to move on their own accord, gently running across the top of Lion's head, and the animal pressed himself up into the touch. The rumbling grew a little louder, but Steven wasn't too worried about that; he was just in awe, still registering the gentle touch, the warm contact. He ran his hand over Lion's head again, enjoying the soft feeling of the animal's fluffy, short fur. Once again, something prodded at the back of his mind - and, once again, Steven resisted the urge to shy away, distracting himself with petting the animal and letting the little box in the back of his mind that held the memories crack open again, letting one slip out, ever so carefully.
It came to him slowly. Visions of sitting by the animal's side at night, petting him while he looked out the window of a building, up at the stars littering the pitch black sky. Images shifted through his head, like he was flipping through pictures on a screen. Cuddling, snuggling, wrapping his arms around Lion's neck. Hugging him, kissing his cheek. Talking to him, soft and sweet sometimes, or excited and affectionate other times. He remembered squishing the animal's cheeks between his hands, looking him in the eyes and saying, "Lion, blink if you love me!"
Despite himself, he found a laugh bubbling to his lips, wrapping his arms around Lion's neck. Lion. He remembered Lion. He remembered little things, but he remembered. He'd remembered something else, and it hadn't hurt as much as he had expected it to. Honestly, it felt… good. He pressed his face lightly against Lion's cheek, feeling him continue to rumble… no, purr. He was purring. That was what it was called - and it meant he was happy, right? It meant he was happy. He marveled over this for a moment, as he closed his eyes and let the situation sink in. For the first time since he'd arrived on Earth, he was comfortable. He was content, he was… happy. For the first time in what felt like a long time - too long - he felt safe. He didn't know how, or why.
Maybe… maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
Maybe this really was worth remembering.
He was still practically cuddling with Lion (he had climbed up onto the animal's back after a little while, and Lion had laid down while the hybrid rested on him with his head overtop of Lion's) by the time the Pearl and human finally came back. Steven lifted his head the second they approached; by that time, Berry had finished the limb enhancers - and Steven had declined the offer to put them back on, since he was not only getting used to being able to feel the things he touched, but was actually enjoying it - struck up a conversation with Garnet, while Lemon Lime and Candy, once the Peridot had gotten his limb enhancers back and actually felt comfortable with getting up and being noticed again, had headed off to explore what the gems called the 'beach'. Steven crossed his arms over Lion's head, lightly scratching behind the animal's ear and watching Berry circle around Garnet, who looked more or less amused by the little Ruby.
He lifted his head, however, when the Pearl and the human approached again. They both looked like they had been crying, much to the hybrid's disappointment; he knew the Pearl had gone to explain the situation, which meant explaining Steven, which meant he had definitely done something wrong if they were both crying over it like that. He didn't like being the reason for anybody's tears, whether indirectly or not. The hybrid hesitated, resting his hand on Lion's head and pushing himself up a little to sit up on the animal's back, turning to climb down again. "I'm sorry if I… if I upset you, earlier," he told the human once he'd steadied himself, keeping one hand on Lion's neck and continuing to pet him when the animal shifted impatiently under his touch. "I mean, I don't know if I did or said anything wrong, but I really didn't mean to-"
"No, no," the human interrupted quickly, shaking her head. "It wasn't you, I… I promise. You're fine." She seemed hesitate for a second, staring at him with an almost cautious expression now. "Pearl… told me that you don't remember us. Or… anything…" The human trailed off, frowning. Steven hesitated, lightly curling his fingers into Lion's mane and stroking him again carefully. After a moment, though, the human stepped forward and extended a hand to him, taking a deep breath and seeming to steel herself as she finally met his gaze again. "My name's Connie."
This time, there was no prodding; the memories and emotions hit him all at once. He remembered meeting her, saving her; he remembered fighting side by side with her, against… against the Pearl. He remembered training with her, he remembered laughing and joking with her, he remembered sitting beside her and watching… something, something on a big box with a glowing screen. He remembered sitting on the beach and just watching her as she talked. He remembered just… being with her. Just existing with her. He remembered that she was usually always there with him when he needed her, that she fought by his side, and had his back. He remembered being scared for her; he remembered… he remembered leaving her behind.
He remembered leaving them all behind.
He remembered Aquamarine. And Topaz. And the ship. He remembered being desperate to save them, desperate to make sure nothing bad happened to them. He remembered every conflicting feeling that had raced through his mind; he remembered making the decision, fast.
He remembered turning himself in to Homeworld, insisting he was Rose Quartz. He remembered them screaming after him; all of them. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl. Even some of the other humans, stranded and stuck in water, unable to get to him. He remembered Connie screaming no, and Steven, and he remembered turning around, just for a second. He remembered saying that he loved her. That he loved all of them. He remembered that those were his last words to them, the last time he'd seen them since he got to Homeworld. He remembered the pain, and the grief that had come with it. He remembered knowing how much he had let everybody down by leaving them behind, and yet how much he honestly didn't regret his decision, as long as it was one of the things that had kept them from being taken, too. Yeah, he remembered Connie. He remembered thinking that he'd do anything, everything for her. He remembered knowing, at that moment, right there, that night on the ship… that he would.
Steven faltered for a second, lowering his gaze, and furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the sand. He didn't remember anything after that… not really. Everything was still fuzzy, unclear. But he did remember a few key points; he remembered some emotions, he remembered the situation he'd been in, the dilemma he had faced. He remembered loving them; each and every one of them, so undeniably, so unquestioningly, so unconditionally, that he had turned himself in to save them. That he had insisted that he was a shatterer, that he had shattered Pink Diamond, that he was the former rebel Crystal Gem leader, war criminal Rose Quartz. But he wasn't.
Stars above, he wasn't Rose Quartz.
"I'm not Rose," he whispered. "I'm not Rose Quartz." He felt dizzy from the realization. He felt confused. He felt… wrong. This all felt wrong. He ran his tongue over his lips, furrowing his eyebrows, then slowly flicked his gaze up after a moment. He stared at Connie, then looked past her, toward the gems. Each one of them had gone completely tense; even Berry was staring at him, wide-eyed. The memories were there, pieces having clicked into place, but he was still confused. It wasn't enough to put the whole picture together. It wasn't even enough to put half of the picture together. They were just visions in his head, things he felt oddly disconnected from, and yet… things he felt far too attached to at that moment. Memories, flickers, pictures and scenes coming together in his head that he couldn't really process yet. Information he was soaking in, emotions he was feeling, memories that were returning. Somehow, none of it was completely enough. Somehow, something was still missing. And somehow, that missing piece screwed up the entire picture, made everything else feel blank.
Suddenly, he wanted to remember then more than ever. He wanted to take all of the pieces and put them together and see what the picture was, because he couldn't… he couldn't take it. He thought he'd be able to handle not ever knowing, not every remembering again. But, as it turned out, the moment he started actually putting the puzzle together, he couldn't stop short. He couldn't make himself stop reaching for the pieces, finding out which ones fit perfectly. He was desperate to finish it, to piece it all together again. He was desperate to finish what he started. He'd be damned if he didn't, and that was a fact; he had to figure it out now. He had to.
"Steven…?" Connie stepped forward; Steven shook his head a little, trying to focus.
"I'm… I'm okay…" The hybrid trailed off, sucking in a shaky breath and lifting his gaze again. Connie furrowed her eyebrows at him, and the other gems moved forward slightly, concerned. He glanced over each of them, still baffled by the memories. Baffled by the feelings. Baffled by the puzzle pieces, the snippets of history that didn't go back far enough for it to feel just right. "I'm okay," he whispered, clearing his throat and forcing himself to raise his voice. He was hesitant at first, battling with himself for a few more seconds before he could finally spit the words out, before he could finally bring himself to speak again. "I… I think I remembered…"
"You did?" Amethyst practically lit up, then; Steven frowned at her, just for a moment. He had, and he wasn't sure what he was feeling right then. He wasn't sure what to make of the memories. He wasn't sure what to make of the emotions. He wasn't sure how to process it all. "That's a good thing, right? What'd you remember?" The purple gem urged, though she backed off quickly when Garnet reached down to touch her shoulder, much to Steven's silent relief.
"I remembered…" Steven trailed off again, shaking his head. "I remembered turning myself in, and… and I remembered… things about you," he added, flicking his gaze back up to Connie. And, of course, Lion chose that moment to push himself up and press his head up under Steven's chin, and the hybrid let out a startled chuckle as he lifted his head along with him. "And things about Lion," he added, lightly scratching the animal behind his ears. "Like how he's not usually this affectionate toward anybody," he chided teasingly. "Now I know that you love me."
"This is…" Connie glanced back at the gems, looking excited. "This is good, right?"
"Definitely," Amethyst exclaimed enthusiastically; Steven rubbed Lion's head again and looked up at them once more, carding his fingers through the pink animal's mane with a quiet hum.
"I mean, I guess…" He trailed off for a moment. "That's kind of the point of me being here." The soldier paused, biting the inside of his cheek for a moment. He hesitated for a few seconds, honestly wondering whether or not he should bring up the flickers, the visions that had hit him. He wondered if he should mention the things he had remembered - some of them weren't particularly pleasant, not for him (or them, he imagined). He had left them behind. Of course, he had left them behind out of sheer desperation and concern and terror, but he had still left them. He'd still caused them all of that pain, all of that fear, for themselves. Steven sighed through his teeth and shook his head a little, clearing his throat and looking down. He'd done it to save them, but it had still hurt them. There was no point in bringing it up, not when he knew it would just hurt them even more in the long run. The hybrid ran his tongue over his lips, looking up.
He was grateful when Berry stepped in; the Ruby had walked forward to inspect Connie, looking more or less curious by the human, but she seemed to be avoiding trying to go near Lion, too. "So you're Connie," she mumbled, looking the human up and down. "You're the Connie…"
Steven arched an eyebrow at the Ruby while Connie huffed out a startled laugh, but she looked a little wary as she glanced between Steven and Berry, seeming bewildered. "Yeah, I'm Connie."
"Mm." Berry studied her. A small smirk tugged at her lips. "Hybrid told me much about you."
"He did?" Connie glanced up at Steven again, looking startled.
"I did?" Steven stared down at Berry, somewhat unsettled.
"You did." Berry's smirk widened slightly, and Steven narrowed his eyes, suspicious. She knew something, and of course she did - that fact didn't quite surprise him, but he wished he could remember what he had told her just to make sure she didn't have some kind of leverage over him right then. Hoping that whatever it was wasn't anything bad, but he couldn't help but wonder why he would say anything bad about the human anyway. From what he could tell, they were close; the memories, the visions that had flickered through his mind, they showed that she was important to him. Very important. She must be, if she was one of the people Steven had turned himself in for. If she was the reason he had opened himself up to everything Homeworld had done to him, and more. Honestly, the fact that he'd ended up there because of that baffled him. He had never given much thought to however he ended up there. He was just… there.
The hybrid tilted his head, eyeing Berry. "You're so lucky I like you…" He paused and turned his head, hearing something squeal - not someone, something. At first, all he saw was a cloud of sand - then he saw a shape. There was a structure coming toward them, hovering over the ground. Propped up on some kind of… circular objects, rolling through the sand and stirring up sand as it moved. Steven tensed, every muscle in his body pulling taut with carefully restrained violence, and immediately flicked his gaze around. Lemon Lime and Candy were at a safe distance - so far away they hadn't seemed to even notice - and the others were still at the ship. Agate, actually, had started to exit, only to pause when she saw the moving structure.
"So, the past few times I've prepared to fight, it's been pretty useless," Steven commented after a moment, glancing over at the gems. He wasn't gonna bother summoning his weapon unless there was a reason to do so now, but he figured, judging by how relaxed everyone else looked, that there wasn't anything to get upset over right then. "So is this something I should…"
"No, no," Pearl assured him, shaking her head. "It's your father, Greg."
Steven mouthed the words to himself, looking up again. Father. Greg. The words stirred up more emotions, about the same as the word 'mother' had. But a different face appeared in his mind when he failed to suppress the memories. Actually, this face was even… warmer. Even gentler. There were no feelings of resentment or inadequacy. No confusion, no longing. There was love, and respect, and some wistfulness. There was another word in his mind, connected to the face; Dad. The structure pulled to a stop, and Steven continued to stare. That's… my Dad.
The structure opened, and a human stepped out. This one didn't look anything like Connie, and Steven hadn't expected him too. He'd already recognized the face in his mind, already put a name to it, already remembered this one. His eyes widened slightly as he stared, as the human - as his Dad - rushed over to where they were standing, looking breathless, looking almost frantic. Garnet stepped forward, and so did Amethyst, reaching out to stop the human before he could get too close to Steven - the hybrid knew why, of course, but he honestly didn't mind this time. There was no fear, no wariness. But he couldn't say anything, couldn't reassure them that he was fine. He could just stare, letting the memories wrap themselves around his mind. Letting them flow freely from the box they were trapped in, letting it crack open just a little bit more.
"Greg," Pearl was saying, desperately, "I tried to tell you, he doesn't remember-"
"No-" Steven interrupted quickly, sucking in a shaky gasp. "No, I- I remember him- I remember." The gems seemed startled, but Garnet and Amethyst eventually pulled back. Greg had frozen at that point, pupils shrinking as he stared at the hybrid, and Steven looked up at him hesitantly. Among the other emotions, there was anxiety - but it wasn't the predominant one this time. "You're my Dad, right…?" He asked after a moment, searching the human's gaze carefully. The only problem was that he couldn't remember what that meant. He couldn't remember what it entailed, he couldn't remember anything else but that word, Greg's face, and the amount of love and respect he apparently held for the human. For a moment, he almost wondered if a 'Dad' was like 'Diamond' for humans, but he couldn't be sure right then. He couldn't remember.
"Yeah- kiddo, I- I'm your Dad-" Greg stammered, taking an almost cautious step forward. Steven just stared at him for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows. But he stepped forward with him after a few seconds, not feeling wary, or afraid. The human seemed to take that as an invitation to rush forward, and Steven could do little more than blink before Greg had reached him and pulled him into his arms. The embrace didn't startle him this time; honestly, he'd been expecting it. He felt the human's giant arms fold around him, felt himself wrapped up in a warm, gentle, loving, hug. "I missed you so much-" Greg's voice cracked slightly, pressing his mouth to the top of Steven's head. That contact was a new sensation of its own, and it brought up a thousand different emotions. The hybrid shifted slightly, not to pull away, but he did eventually wrap both of his arms around one of Greg's, somewhat hesitantly. "I thought I lost you- I thought- I thought you-"
Steven couldn't explain the way his eyes stung in response, but no tears came. He breathed in shakily and clenched his teeth, swallowing, then pushed forward and buried his face into Greg's shoulder, sucking in another shaky gasp and holding his breath for a moment. "I'm sorry…" Every other emotion could dissipate, vanish, change. He didn't think anything would ever shake the guilt he was constantly feeling, he didn't think anything was going to keep it from exploding.
He was sorry. For what, he didn't know what yet. But, shards, he was gonna find out.