The Mysterious Traveler
Writing this one took a long time, five days in fact! As I said before, I ended up writing over 20,000 for one single chapter and it was too much. So I decided to split into 3 chapters through editing.
Enjoy Chapter 29!
Chapter Twenty-Nine:
Learning to Let Go
Once again, Severus found himself back in the dark void, immediately thinking that he had died from the fall and had imagined the whole thing but quickly was proved wrong at the sight of the orb ahead of him.
Sighing he approached it and waited for something to happen, but nothing did.
He sat down and waited, his thoughts turning to Lily as his heart softened, a warm feeling rushing through him. But it was short lived as something else immediately took its place. A mix of different feelings that he was far too accustomed to.
The feeling of shame, guilt and remorse filling him as he fell to knees, tears forming
The orb glowed brighter and he felt the urge to touch it, moving his hand to feel its warm in the cold darkness, to feel the peace radiating off it. And the moment he felt the glow touch his skin, everything changed around him and the light consumed him.
Only hearing these words before he blacked out, "Don't resist."
Two children laid on the small field of grass, looking up towards the sky. They spent the day talking about Hogwarts and any part of the magical world like Azkaban and the Nezgul-like creatures that the girl liked to call them, which irritated the boy.
The girl had red hair and green eyes, while the boy had black hair and eyes, with a crooked nose as well.
"Hey, Sev?" the girl asked, looking at him with worried eyes.
"Yeah?" he turned to her.
She was so beautiful to him. Like an angel sent to bring light to the world he lived in. And he hated himself for not measuring up to her beauty. He worried what that would mean for him later.
"Does it matter to you that I am not a pureblood?"
Nine-year-old Seveus was surprised by the question, taking a moment to answer back without a shred of a doubt, "No, it doesn't."
The girl smiled, taking his hand into hers.
"Hey, Snape!" a voice called out.
A young, first year Severus looked up from the book he was reading, seeing Mulciber and Avery standing at the edge of his bed.
"Can you do our homework?" Avery asked. "We have more important things to do."
Severus rolled his eyes, "Sure."
"Thanks man," they threw their assignments onto his bed. "We'll make sure to talk to Malfoy about letting you into more of our group sessions."
Excitement rushed through him, giving him the determination to finish the schoolwork.
"What do you see in her?" a third year Mulciber asked as he took a bite out of his meat. "She's a mudblood."
"Please, don't call her that," Severus said in a low voice.
"But she is!"
"Sev, we just… we don't want to see you lose favor with us. You know how hard it is out there for a Slytherin," Mulciber placed a hand on his shoulder, only for Severus to shove it off.
"Yeah, then who will be able to do potions and what-not?!"
Severus glared at him, "Oh, so I'm just the guy who does what you need?"
"Everyone has a purpose," said Mulciber. "Malfoy sees potential in you. As will the Dark Lord."
"No, he doesn't."
"Yes, he does. He just needs more time."
"For what?"
"To introduce you. The Dark Lord is a… sensitive to his time. Wouldn't want to make a bad impression of you. I bet by sixth year he'll be eyeing you."
"Yeah, your great at potions and knowledgeable of the Dark Arts."
"Didn't you learn all of them before coming here?"
Severus shook his head, sneering, "That's a rumor created by Potter and Black."
"Blood traitors!" the two spat.
Severus looked up and saw his Gryffindor friend leaving the table, deciding to follow her. Earning a look of disgust from the two Slytherins he left behind.
He was sent flying down a flight of stairs, pretty sure he had broken one or two bones on the way down. He could hear Potter and Black laughing. It was one of the few times when the bullying got worse, where he physically got hurt.
Once he stopped at the end of the stairs, landing on the ground, he tried to cast a few hexes and curses at them, but the pain was too mush.
He heard laughter from others and looked to see other students points and laughing at him.
One third year Ravenclaw boy cried out, "Couldn't stick the landing, eh?"
"Oh, shut up, blood traitor!" he spat with anger.
It took a while before he was taken to the infirmary, where he was healed of his broken bones and sent on his way the next day.
"Sev, why do you hang out with them?" a fourth year Lily Evans asked as she walked down the hallway with her best friend.
Severus rolled his eyes, "Not this again!"
"Yes, this again!" she stopped, making him turn to look her in the eyes. "Why can't you see that they're bad news?!"
"Lily, I live with them in the same dorm room. That would be like asking you why you hang out with McDonald and the other girls."
"They're my friends, Sev! And actual friends to me! They're good people!"
"Yet they hang out with Potter and Black! All because they look 'desirable'!"
"Potter and Black have nothing to do with this!" she shot back.
"Yes, they do!" he spat with venom. "Everyone is always saying, 'Oh, Potter this! Black is that!' They're bullies and mean!"
"And you aren't?!" she glared at him. "I heard about what you did to that third year!"
"She laughed at me!"
"So you called her that… that word?!" she turned away.
"Lil… what am I supposed to do? Stand there and take it?!" he was fuming.
"You go to a teacher!"
"Yeah and then they'll ignore me and buy the word of someone else because 'I'm a Slytherin'!"
"Well," she turned around, tears in her eyes. "Maybe they wouldn't if your people would stop bullying others around for their blood and where they come from!"
"And Potter and his friends don't?!"
"At least they don't use Dark Magic and brag about joining… 'him'."
"Lil- I-" he couldn't speak, he was too unfocused. Too angry.
"I can't be around you right now!" she turned and walked away, leaving him to his thoughts.
"How could you laugh at Mary like that?!" Lily yelled at him, her voice echoing down the hall.
"It was a joke!" he shot back.
"It was Dark Magic and you know it!"
"She laughs at me like everyone else and dated Black-"
"For crying out loud, stop making excuses and stop using them as your reasons for everything you do!"
"They get to do the same through whatever bullshit they come up with! You're always defending them!"
"But they're not as bad as you think-"
"Really?!" he exploded, making her cry. "Then I guess the bullying and broken bones I've suffered were just not as bad then! Why is it that Potter and his crew always get a free pass but I don't!"
"Because-"
"Because I'm a Slytherin, I know! I deserve to be treated like this! I'm going to join 'You-Know-Who', so maybe its okay!"
"Well… you are…"
Hearing those words struck him, his heart filling like it was being torn to pieces. He turned and ran from her, tears sliding down his face as his emotions ran free. Leaving her to cry as she watched him run.
"You're not being thankful, Sev."
"Thankful?!" he was at a loss of words. "Potter only saved me to…"
"To what?" she asked, curious.
"I'm… not allowed to talk about it."
"Why not? Because I'm not your best friend?"
"You are my best friend!"
"It doesn't feel like it!"
"I'm just saying that you and everyone else think Potter is some kind of hero. He's isn't!"
"He saved you!"
"Because I would have gotten him and his friends in trouble!"
"Just suck it up and apologize to him. Thank him for saving you."
"He won't apologize to me!"
"Oh, my God, Severus! You are unbelievable!"
She stormed right past him.
Then the one scene he dreaded out of all of them began to play like a scene from a movie he had no remote for.
He was hanging upside down, bubbles filling his mouth as he tasted the bitter soap, some even managing to get down his throat. He felt the need to throw up, but his stomach had nothing to puke up. He felt dizzy and weak, and angry. Above all, angry.
"Leave him alone!" he recognized Lily's voice in the background.
Doing the best he could, from within the body he was stuck in to re-witness everything, despite the presence of something trying to make him. He blocked out Lily's smile, James' 'exist' remark, and so on. Until it got to the part he tried to block out…
"I don't need help from mudbloods like her!"
Completely helpless, he stopped trying and watched as Lily's concern turned to shock, sadness and then anger.
"Fine! I'd wash your clothes if I were you, Snivellus!"
His heart felt like it was being squeezed.
"I'm sorry!"
"I don't care!"
"I said, I'm sorry!"
"Don't waste your breathe!"
Now it was time to see when it truly ended. When he lost it all.
He didn't even try to block it out like the other times. He just listened, like a broken man. Like an abused person who lost the conviction to fight back. Like his mother.
"You've made your choice, I've made mine. Goodbye, Snape!"
She left him there, never looking back. But upon looking closer, he saw the tears on the side of her right face, realizing that she had been holding it in. A look of pain that he couldn't see but could feel.
Now he was back in the dark abyss, with the orb right where he knew he would find it. He was still on his knees, like as if he had never left.
"Don't resist," a voice whispered.
He remained still, ignoring the pain in his knees. He wondered what the voice meant by 'don't resist'. Resist what? The dreams?
"Think," the voice said. "Think."
With little to no fight left in him, he closed his eyes and began to do as it said, 'think'. He thought about the dreams, the memories. He wondered what they meant to him, what they were trying to say. What was the message in all of this?
One thing was for certain, all of them involved pain of some kind. A pain that he suffered because of the actions of others. His father, his mother, Potter, Black, Lucius, Avery, Mulciber, right down to even…
He shook his head refusing to acknowledge her.
"Say it," the voice spoke again.
He couldn't speak, nor could he think. Fearful he would give the answer accidently.
"Say it."
But then he thought about the core piece of his pain, the core of everything in his dreams and his life. And then he could not deny it. He needed to say it.
"Lily."
And like that, it popped into his head. A realization that had been staring at him but couldn't see. Or acknowledge.
Everything revolved around Lily, what he did, how he acted, how he felt. His happiness was also his pain, his strength as well as his weakness.
And he hurt her. Just like how he hurt others.
Because he didn't know how to react to them. How to handle situations of pain, despite how accustomed to it he was. He took their relationship for granted, believing he couldn't lose her. That no matter what, she would be back.
His heart raced at another realization, one that made him disgusted.
It was like the relationship between his parents.
Like his mother did to his father, he put Lily at the center of his world, believing that things would get better. That a relationship could flourish from the hellish nature of their environment. And his father, believing that no matter how he hurt her, could not comprehend of the idea of her leaving him.
What an amazing lie all of it was.
The only difference, Lily was strong enough to leave him when he pushed too. A breaking point had been reached and he broken through it. He had hurt her so much that she chose to leave him behind, believing he was too far gone. And he couldn't blame her for it.
But she wasn't the only one.
He had hurt others, taking joy in their suffering because of how they laughed at him. He wanted to make himself feel better at knowing that he wasn't the only one who hurt. Like his father, he cared more for himself and hurt anyone who got in his way.
He felt like he was going to puke. He wanted to puke. If it meant getting the sickening feeling out of him, to feel clean, he would puke everything out just to make it stop.
He couldn't stomach the idea of being like his father, like the abusive person he was. But there was no other way for him to see it differently now. He was like his father.
And with that realization, came another.
His obsession with the Dark Arts, his manipulation by the Death Eaters. It all led to where he was now… a pawn in someone else' game. Being exploited for his talents, used like a child who, deep down, wanted to feel accepted. To belong. To be loved.
He began to cry, his walls completely breaking as everything rushed forward. He felt something in his sacrum and stomach, barely noticing the darkness changing to a mix of orange and yellow as he felt a great deal of pain but also clarity.
All the lies shattered like a broken mirror, the truth taking front and center stage.
With all of his talk about Gryffindors wearing their hearts on their sleeves and how emotions were a weakness, it all came to down to not being like them. Not being dumb or a slave their emotions, to act freely on them. To express what they felt and not feel like an outsider. To truly belong. Not used.
He laughed, realizing the irony.
A Slytherin who seeked to control his emotions, believing them to be a weakness, acted on his negatives ones to make himself feel better by hurting others. To feel some kind of joy. It hurt as much as it was funny to him.
Now he felt something in his throat, the colors now mixing blue into the combination of orange and yellow.
All of it was crashing down on top of him, all of the realizations and truths he had acknowledged… they were too much. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted all of it to stop.
It wasn't like Lily or anyone else was going to forgive him. They've made their opinion of him clear. He would never find closure on their side. But… maybe…
"Do you honestly think I could forgive you?" a voice called out.
His eyes widened, refusing to look up, fearful of what he knew he would see if he did.
"Look at me," the voice demanded.
Despite the pain he felt throughout, he looked up, face wet with tears, eyes red. He blinked, allowing for his vision to clear up as he met the eyes of Lily Evans. The only person who could truly make him vulnerable.
She stared at him with anger, true despise deep within in her eyes, "I've made excuses for you all my life. Believing that you would stop being so petty and angry. But I was only hurting myself for doing so. And you added to that pain, especially that day by the lake."
He cried harder, his heart throbbing.
"You took pleasure in my pain that day, didn't you?!"
He wanted to object, to shout "NO" but he couldn't. Because he knew the truth. He knew the lies.
"You wanted to make me feel like you did, just like you do with everyone else. Because, deep down, you're just a sad child whose dad never loved him. Whose mother neglected him. Whose life was so miserable because you didn't have wealth or love. So you used me. Used me to feel loved and important. To make me believe you were everything in my life.
"Well, Snivellus-"
That damned nickname pierced his heart.
"-you were never everything to me. You were just that, a friend. A miserable friend I felt the need to be around, to make sure was doing fine. To be there when your 'Slytherin friends' weren't. Because, unlike you, I'm a good person with a heart of gold. At least I try to be nice to everyone.
"The very thought that maybe you felt more for me was terrifying. It was terrifying that the possibility of someone like you, so despicable in body and soul, was in love with me. How could that be? I'm just a mudblood and you're just a nobody who ended up making me your everything."
Severus shook his head, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh, stop your sobbing!" she spat. "Face it, you were never a good friend to me. I'll never forgive you for that. I'll never forgive you for what you said or what you've done. No one will ever forgive you."
He looked up again, deep into her cold eyes.
"I hate you!"
His body began to shake, his heart pumping hard against his chest, his tears running like a river.
Everything she said was the truth and he couldn't deny it. No lie that he used before could convince him otherwise. There was nothing he could say to make himself feel better. Only admit.
But at the thought, he began to think about something else. Something that began to occur to him. A new realization.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Lily scoffed, "Don't waste your breath!"
"No, I mean it! I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter."
He stood up, managing to get himself under control to face her.
"Maybe, but I truly am. I hurt you. I used you. And I am sorry."
Lily rolled her eyes, "You're so path-"
"And I forgive you."
Her eyes widened, paralyzed by shock.
"What?"
"I forgive you."
She looked at him with confusion and surprise, trying to think of a way to respond to him.
"Wha- But- No- I've done nothing to you!"
Severus shook his head, "You've done more than you think. Maybe not to the extent I have, but you've hurt me too."
"Really?" she glared at him. "Name one."
"I'll do you better," he stared into her eyes, clearly making her nervous. "Why did you smile?"
"What?"
"At the lake, when Potter was humiliating me, why did you smile?" he pressed.
Her mouth hung open, shocked by the question, "I didn't."
"Yes, you did. I remember it well."
She narrowed her eyes at him and smiled, "I see what you're doing. You're trying to get me to feel bad so that you can find some way to justify yourself."
"No, I called you a mudblood because I was angry and took it out on you. I wanted to make you feel bad because I'm like my father, someone who takes my insecurities out on others. I took joy in it for a second before realizing what I did. But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you."
Her smile vanished, "I… I was…"
"Was it me? Did you find my situation funny?"
"No, I was… smiling at Potter."
"So you smiled at the boy who was bullying me at the very moment, hanging me upside down to let others see my undergarments. Why?"
"Because…" she paused.
"Because you fancy him," the words hurt more than he realized they would, but he pressed on. "He's a handsome, rich wizard. How could anyone, besides me, couldn't? His smile and good looks were enough to make you smile with him."
"No… I…"
"So it was about me being humiliated?" he stepped forward, making her back up. "Did you take joy in seeing me being humiliated in front of everyone? Because of all the times I frustrated you, made you cry?"
She didn't answer.
"You could have done more and you know it. You could stopped him by disarming him but you didn't. Just like all those other times you never did anything, like how my 'Slytherin friends' never did anything. Because you enjoyed my pain."
"Yes!" she screamed, making him stop.
It hurt to finally get confirmation on not just one but two of his theories. To realize that he was right to assume what that smile meant. But regardless, it hurt the less.
"I smiled because he has a good smile, because I fancy him! Because I saw a Gryffindor hero humiliating the boy who claimed to be my best friend, who hurt me more than anyone else. I wanted you to learn humility so you would snap out it."
Severus was taken aback, "I think we both know that humility was all Potter has ever made me feel. And you smiled."
This time, it was Lily who began to tear up, while glaring at him.
"You may not forgive me for what I did, but I forgive you."
"Why?" she leaned in, arms crossed. "So that you can win me over, make me realize some foolish dream that I'm in love with you? Get a happily ever after where we ride off into the sunset, get married, have a couple of kids and grow old together?!"
Severus wanted that. He truly did. But he knew better.
"No. Because I am done being angry and sad. I'm so fucking tired of all of this. It always ends with me sad for myself and angry at the world. At our world. And if it means forgiving you to make this… pain go away. Then… I forgive you."
Lily gasped at him, shocked at what she was hearing, "This doesn't change anything."
Severus nodded, "And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I need you to be a reminder of what a true friend is, as well as what obsession is."
Silence passed between them, letting the moment sink in.
"And what about us?" another voice called out.
He slowly turned, coming face to face with James Potter and Sirius Black, who were smiling at him.
Oh, how he knew this one was going to be a challenge.
"You know, Prongs," Black touched elbows with his friend. "I think Snivellus here has been overdue for a beating."
"How we missed our play toy," Potter winked.
Severus felt so much anger for them, just hearing their voices always set him off, but this time it was different. He remained in control, watching them.
"So, tell us, Snivellus," Potter taunted him. "Do you forgive us?"
Severus remained silent, thinking, "No."
"Oh, that hurts," Black placed his hand over his heart, pretending to be in pain. "How will he ever find peace?"
"He won't. Because he's just a Death Eater wanna-be, a Dark Arts user who will never be at peace."
Severus took a deep breath, "I can't forgive you. Not right now."
The two paused at his words.
"Maybe one day… I will. But for now, I need time to be able to do so."
"He's joking, Prongs!" Black laughed. "There's no way he can ever forgive us."
"Good thing I like a challenge," wiping the smile off their faces.
He started to walk around them, like a predator with its prey.
"Tell me, Potter," he said his name with sarcasm, making the two glare at him. "Why do you hate me so much?"
Potter scoffed, "Because you're a Death Eater wanna-be, a Dark Arts user who will turn bad one day."
"I thought I was already born bad."
"You are!"
Severus laughed, "Can't even make up your own mind. Tells me all I need to know about you."
"Don't listen to him, Prongs."
"No, your hatred for me is far more deeper than just my fascination of the Dark Arts," he continued to walk around them. "It's because of my relationship with Lily."
"Don't call her that!" Potter shouted.
He ignored him, "That day on the train, the first day we met. That was when it all began. You may have despised me for wanting to go into Slytherin but you got along with Black alright."
"He's different!"
"Oh, how wrong you are about him. But we'll get to Black later."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Black demanded.
"Anyway, you hate me because you saw me with a pretty girl who rejected you."
Potter's glare became more intense.
"You, who grew up never knowing it meant to live in poverty. You, who grew up never hearing the word 'no'. You, who always got what you wanted. You, who was blessed with health and boyish charms to catch any girl you wanted.
"And then you met the first one who didn't fall for your charms, who saw right through you."
He smiled at the anger on the boy's face.
"You hate me because I had what you didn't… her friendship, her attention."
"Well, you don't have it anymore."
Severus looked down, sadly nodded, "Yes, I did. A lot of it is on me, as some it is on you. But lets be honest, it was jealousy and desire that drove you. The more she rejected you, the more obsessed you became. Because you couldn't comprehend that a girl could do that to you-"
"Shut up!"
"You couldn't stand the idea that someone as ugly as me could have the friendship of a girl who rejected you, a handsome wizard who thinks he is Merlin's gift to the world."
"Shut up!"
"So you bullied me to make yourself feel bigger, feel proud and good about yourself. Because the world of Hogwarts and your home life taught you that if you have a good haircut, good voice, good looks and good at Quidditch, then you get to do whatever you want. That no matter what you do, you will always be the good guy."
"I said, sh-"
"But let me tell you something, Potter!" he stepped up to them, pointing directly in Potter's face. "You are not a good person! You're the same piece of shit I see every day! The kind who thinks that the world owes them something and owes nothing in return! You were taught to behave as you are because no one wanted to call you out on your behavior.
"Only Lily came close but she only told you off, which only made it worse. Dumbledore did nothing because he saw you as a prized pupil. Someone he wanted to make sure could look to him as a role model, someone to admire. You are a spoiled brat!
"While I was left to take on the hardships you know very little about."
"Oh, come off it, mate!" Black smiled. "You deserved it!"
Severus turned to Black, "And you!"
He forced the 'dog' to back up a bit, "He says that you're different, that you broke the chains of the family curse by not being Sorted into Slytherin. But I know better. You're just as Slytherin as your cousin!"
Black glared at him, "Don't com-"
"Potter may take joy in my suffering and others, but at least he some line he doesn't cross… unlike you."
"Get away from me!" Black shouted, unable to make Severus flinch.
"That night at the Whomping Willow Tree, you tried to have me killed."
"It was a prank!"
"You knew what I would find down there and yet you convinced me to go."
"You wanted to go! All I did was tell you how."
"While knowing that if I did, I would be in danger. I can buy this of you to do this to me but to Lupin…" he shook his head, laughing hysterically.
"What do you mean? What does Lupin have to do with this?"
Severus laughed harder, trying to get himself under control.
"You… really don't… know what… I'm… talking… about… do you?"
"No, I don't!"
"Then I rest my case!" he took a few deep breathes. "But I'll tell you anyway."
He stood back up straight and looked deep into Black's eyes, "You betrayed your best friend!"
"What- No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!" he smiled, taking joy in this. "You sent me to your best friend, knowing what he would turn into and did so without taking him into consideration."
"He would have been fine!"
"Really? What would have happened if I was killed or bitten?"
Black was at a loss, trying to think of something, "Dumbledore would have taken care of it."
"Oh, there you go again, running to Dumbledore for yet another situation to be taken care of."
"Killed or bitten, Dumbledore would have never let anyone know what happened."
"But what about Lupin?"
"What about him? He would have done it in his werewolf form, he would have been blameless."
"No, he would have blamed himself, even if Dumbledore managed to keep the Ministry from executing him or shipping him off to some wolf camp. If he had bitten me, he would have hated himself for making someone else like him. If he had killed me, he definitely would have despised himself taking a life.
"But in any situation, it comes back to one person truly to blame… YOU!"
Black laughed, "Always blaming us for your problems!"
"The only problem I am at fault for was being out past curfew and falling for your trap. You, on the other hand… no matter how you try to word it or twist it, you are the one who betrayed Lupin's little secret, just to satisfy your pranking heart's desire."
For once Black had nothing to say.
"Face it, Black. You have a dark side that you've feed more than you realize. You can blame your family life or me, for all you want, but deep down… you know your one bad choice away from being me."
He said at the shocked expression on Black's face.
"And what about us?"
Frowning, he turned and saw a couple dozen or so people in front of him. Hogwarts students, his father, his mother. All of them who had hurt him or he had hurt.
A third year girl stepped forward, "You hurt me by saying that word. Like you did to Evans."
Severus bit his tongue to hold back the sadness of remembering that moment.
"I know," he nodded. "And I'm sorry. Even if it was because of all of you laughing at my torment, I am sorry for hurting all of you. I know that now."
He looked towards his father and mother, stepping towards them as all the Hogwarts students evaporated into dust, flying away. Leaving only the three of them.
"Father," he nodded.
Tobias Snape sneered at his son, "All soft now, I see."
"And you are all sober up," Severus raised an eyebrow. "Very unusual."
"Shut up, I'm not done talking!" he got up into his face. "You are a mistake! I wanted a son I could take to work and show off, accompany me on fishing trips, but no… I had to get an abomination like your mother in my life!"
Severus remained unfazed.
"We were happy until your mother told me about what she was, and it only got worse when it turned out you were like her!"
"And?"
"And what?! What more of an explanation do you want, boy?!"
Severus laughed.
"What's so funny?!"
"You are!" he got up into his old man's face. "Out of all of the explanations of why everyone hates me, yours has to be the worst."
"I will not be lec-"
"You could have left or just accepted that your wife and son were magical people, but instead you choose to keep us around, turn into an alcoholic and abuse us to satisfy your insecurities."
"Honey," his mother stepped forward. "Don't make him an-"
"Everything I did was to teach you both a lesson!"
"And what lesson was that? That we should be ashamed of what we are? That being normal is the only way to your heart?"
"Yes!"
"It was cruel, and it was wrong!"
Silence passed between father and son, the mother nervously staring at them.
"For so long I hated you, wished I wasn't your son. But now I realize I was hating myself. I couldn't accept you as my father because I couldn't accept myself. And if I am to find true peace from all of this, I need to do exactly that."
"You're weak. Just as I believed."
"No, I'm far stronger than you or my mother. Because at least I recognize my problems now."
His face softened.
"I think I've always wanted us to be family and later believed I could find it at Hogwarts, choosing the side of a twisted group who saw fit to use that against me. Maybe one day I will find that family. But I am damn sure… it isn't you."
"Then you reject me?" his father asked.
"No," he walked forward and embraced his father. "You are my father and I hope that one day… I can find it in my heart to forgive you. But for now… this will have to do."
He felt his father trying to struggle himself free of his embrace but was for some reason weak to do so. Then he felt his body disappearing, opening his eyes to find nothing but dust.
He smiled and turned to his mother, who was crying.
"Severus… I'm so… sorry…"
Out of all the others, he felt more at ease with her. So he walked towards her and embraced her.
"I know, mum," he whispered as she sobbed against his shoulder. "I know."
The two remained in each other's embrace, only her cries being heard.
"You know I don't have much time," she whispered.
"I know."
"Did you read the letter?"
He paused before shaking his head, "No, but I think I know what it says though."
"Please read it when you get the chance," she pulled away to look at him. "I know that I've said it… but… I am so sorry, Sev."
The nickname felt like a knife piercing his knife.
"I know," he repeated. "And I forgive you. Unlike most others, this I can do."
She sniffled and smiled at him, touching the side of his cheek as she began to fade away into dust, "Thank you."
Even after she was gone, his arms remained in place of where she once was, crying his own tears. Every emotion ran free as he felt something happening to his throat, stomach and sacrum; a painful sensation that immediately turned into relief, like as if something was finally unblocked.
The colors of orange, yellow and blue vanished as the black void returned, with the orb right behind him.
He turned and frowned at it, walking up to it.
And like before, he felt the need to touch it and reach other with his hand. Except this time, he didn't need to touch it. Instead, light from the orb poured out and rushed towards him, startling him as it began to consume him, embracing his body in a warm sensation. He saw nothing but whiteness and heard a small humming noise.
And strangely, he felt more relaxed and at peace than he ever did before in his life.
He began to awaken, his eyes slowly adjusting to the light above as the rest of him followed pursuit. He instantly recognized it was daytime, most likely noon-ish since the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.
He leaned up and rubbed his eyes, turning to find Appa right next to him, having been resting against his fur.
The bison grunted at him while eating some hay.
Severus nodded and stood up, studying his surroundings as he realizing that he was on a glacier in the middle of the ocean.
His eyes widened as he remembered what Zhao once said, "In two weeks, my naval force will be ready. One thousand ships will set sail for the Northern Water Tribe-"
If he was correct, they had a week and half to get Aang an waterbending teacher by the time they reached the North Pole, not including the preparations the North Pole will need to make to fight the coming invasion and-
Wait, why was he so invested in this? He didn't know the Northern Water Tribe or personally care about what was happening, so why was concerned?
"Alex!" he heard three voices call out at once.
Uh no!
He felt three bodies crash against him, sending him to the ground under some weight, groaning.
"We were so worried!" Katara exclaimed, hugging.
"Yeah, you've been asleep for three days!" Aang added.
Sokka was the first to get off him, "How the hell did you survive that fall?"
Once the other two left him alone, he got up and turned to him, "I don't know."
"Well, he did survive that one back at the South Pole," said Aang.
"But this was a fall from the top of literal mountain. You should be dead."
Severus shook his head, unsure if he should tell them the truth or not. He didn't want to have to listen to a bunch of questions he didn't have answers for. So he played it safe.
"What happened?" he asked.
Katara shrugged, "Well, after we picked you up from where you fell, we regrouped with the others in the air balloon and guided them to the Northern River, where we rested for a day. Then helped them continue their journey to the valley."
Sokka took over, "Once we were close enough, we decided to get a move on to the Northern Water Tribe, but we've been having trouble trying to find it."
Severus nodded, taking a drink from a bag of water that Aang handed him, "What about the temple? And Zuko?"
Katara and Sokka looked at Aang, who turned away.
"The temple has been completely destroyed. Little of it remains," Katara explained. "As for Zuko, he had a parachute, so he most likely survived as well."
"So, in other words, the only good news is that we saved lives and none of us died," he stretched his arms.
"And… um… Alex…" Katara reached into her pocket. "We found… this…"
He turned around and felt his heart sink.
In her hands was his wand, broke in two. Like he remembered.
"I'm sorry," she placed it in his hand. "Can you fix it?"
Severus studied it as he took it and threw it into the ocean, surprising the three of them.
"Once a wand is broken, it cannot be fixed," he explained. "Unless of course one has powerful means to do it. Which I do not have."
Katara covered her mouth, "I'm so sorry."
Severus shook his head, "Nothing to be done about it now. It just means I'll need to focus more on my wandless training to get better, as well as my combat training."
"Speaking of which, I've been missing my partner in training," Sokka leaned against his shoulder, earning a frown. "Seeing you fight against Zuko made me jealous."
He shoved the Water Tribe boy off him, hearing him yelp in pain as he hit the ice.
"How far are we from the mainland of the North Pole?" he asked.
Aang pointed ahead, "We should be close. Though Appa needs to rest before we can get going."
"We'll need to get there before sunset," said Katara. "If we don't find them, we'll be in for a very cold night."
"Master!" a voice cried out.
Everyone turned to see Kiri running towards Severus, trying not to slip on the ice. She embraced him, earning a small "aw" from Katara. Which, surprisingly, didn't irritate Severus that much.
Kori appeared from around the corner of the glacier, followed by Renee.
Severus raised an eyebrow, "I didn't realize we had an extra member on our team now."
Sokka smiled, "Oh yeah, forgot to mention that Renee wanted to join us on our journey to the North Pole. She wants to learn about the Northern Water Tribe culture."
"Well, having a technical genius, inventor should give us some advantages."
"I'll take that as a compliment," said Renee.
"Alex, are you… feeling alright?" Aang asked.
Severus shrugged, "Considering I survived another fall from deadly heights, I'd say never better."
"Well, you're a lot less… grumpier than usual."
"Healthier, even," added Katara.
"And also more sexier," said Renee.
Everyone turned to her, raising an eyebrow while Kori covered her daughter's ears.
"What?! He does!"
It took a moment for Severus to realize what she meant as he rushed to the side of the glacier, using the water to see his reflection.
He definitely looked way healthier and better looking than he did before. He was tempted to lift his clothing to see if anything more had changed but decided against for multiple reasons.
Suddenly, the water turned to ice as Appa began to growl, then the ice spun to life and surrounded him, including everyone else.
"What's going on?!" Aang cried out.
Katara's eyes lit up as she saw canoes sailing towards them, with the Northern Water Tribe sigil on them.
"They're waterbenders!" she cried out. "We've found the Water Tribe!"
On a ship sailing across the northern waters, Prince Zuko stood at the helm, staring out towards the ocean.
After surviving his fall from the temple, Zuko had used the parachute to land near his mongoose lizard, managing to get back to his ship and rest for a day before deciding to head for the Northern Water Tribe.
Despite his uncle's protests, he ultimately decided to sail for the mainland and somehow infiltrate the icy fortress to capture the Avatar and maybe the Mysterious Traveler too.
It was just a matter of when they get there and how he was going to get in.
Well, guys! We finally reached the Nothern Water Tribe story-arc! About damn time too! I never expected it would have taken nearly 30 chapters and over 130,000 words to do it.
I'm hoping to spend more time with the Northern Water Tribe than we did in the tv show to help develop it more and get a better understanding of its culture. Plus more development with Yue, the politics there and romance as well.
Thank you for reading and I'll see you guys in chapter 30!