Chapter 25

Strength and Innocence

The happy trio enjoyed only a week of their eternal bliss before everything began to go wrong.

It began the day of the Potters' mock funeral. Severus had attended, again as cousin Will, in order to keep watch for any sign of Death Eater attack. The service, however, went off without a hitch, and Severus, Lily, and James were back in the Cottage by Three o' Clock.

The three were just settling down to some tea when the front bell chimed. A few moments later, Nikki the house elf materialized in the sitting room.

"There is a muggle at the door, Master James," the elf squeaked, her eyes as wide as saucers. "I asked who she was, but she screamed and threw things at my head. I cannot make her go away!"

"Lily! Get out here, now!" a voice echoed through the entryway.

"Oh, it's Petunia," Lily sighed. "It's quite alright, Nikki- I will go talk to her."

As Severus watched Lily go, still wearing her black dress, a cold chill washed over him- a sense of foreboding. After a few minutes, he heard a muffled cry, and when he rushed to Lily, she was in tears.

"Lily," he whispered. "What is wrong? What did she say to you?"

Lily shook her head, her red-rimmed eyes blank as though with shock. Then she looked up, and she seemed to recollect herself.

"In the sitting room- sit down," she whispered. "James- will you please put Severus in the full-body bind?"

"Why?" James and Severus said at once.

"Because I don't want Sev to do something rash," she said.

Something in the elder Severus's mind detatched from the scene, as though he could not re-live this moment. The night before, Price and his lackey, Simmons, had broken into the church. It was the night that Mr. Evans and his wife counted the week's meager offerings and balanced the church accounts. Mr. Evans had willingly handed over the offering money, but he had moved too quickly, and Price had panicked. Mrs. Evans had screamed, and he'd panicked further. When the police captured Price, he confessed to everything that had happened, but had refused to tell anyone where he'd gotten the gun.

Lily had been right to restrain Severus. He'd never longed to kill anyone more in his entire life.

Somehow, though, he'd restrained himself from seeking vengeance. Lily had needed his help and protection far more. He'd attended the funeral, again under polyjuice, to help guard the congregation.

It had been a tough job, because the church was so packed. Everyone in town, it seemed, attended. The mourners backed up into the street, but no violence erupted at the service.

It took time, but Severus finally began to come down from his grief for the man who had been more of a father than his own ever was, and the woman whose kindness had been never-failing.

Lily was keeping busy- far busier than she'd ever seen her at Hogwarts. She was no longer working on rocket fuel or radio-magic detectors, though. She disappeared for a couple of hours each morning, and then she shut herself in the library until James came back from his healer training at St. Mungos. Then she dragged James into the garden and insisted that he teach her to duel.

"Sure, but I thought you didn't like fighting?" James had said.

"It doesn't matter. There are plenty of people who want to hurt me, anyway. My pacifism won't stop them."

They dueled for hours, and James always seemed to have the upper hand until one day, when he successfully cast an anti-magic field. They discovered where Lily had been spending her mornings, and James gained a black eye.

"Sorry- Sensei said I need to learn better control," Lily said. "I really thought I'd pulled that punch. I'm so sorry."

"You're taking martial arts classes?" James had said, stunned. "Why?"

"Because we can't use wands on muggles, and they-" Lily had began, and then dissolved into tears.

Lily had to take a calming draught and go to bed early.

The next day. Lily came down to the basement, where Severus had set up a brewing lab. In her hands, she clutched a thick notebook.

"Sev, could you put the potion in stasis for a moment? There's something I want to discuss with you."

"It needs to simmer for 30 minutes. That should give us time, I think."

Lily nodded, and then perched on one of the stools, fiddling nervously with the notebook.

"This will sound mad, but you did promise to hear me out. This is about the Death Eaters,and Azkaban."

Severus nodded. "Go on."

Lily opened the notebook, and pointed to a page. "There is a way to kill dementors. It is a spell that the ministry's forbidden to cast, because they consider it to be dark, but what could be worse than allowing the dementors to continue to suck the life and happiness from people?"

"Why does the ministry consider it to be dark?" Severus asked.

"Because it's a sacrificial ritual. It requires the permanent sacrifice of one happy memory."

"You mean- like obliviation?"

Lily shook her head. "Obliviation only hides memories from us. This ritual destroys the memory forever."

Severus drew a deep breath. "Lily- the Order would never agree to cast a ritual like that."

"I did the math- if the members of the Order of the Phoenix all came together and sacrificed just one memory each, then we could save the happy memories of hundreds of people. Think about it, Sev. Isn't it worth it? Wouldn't Dumbledore himself, who hates Dementors, think it is worth it?"

"He wouldn't. You know how he feels about dark magic. He would never allow a dark ritual to taint his order or stain his own hands. And you- Lily, would you really sacrifice a memory that we shared? Or one of your parents? Don't sacrifice the light inside of yourself to fight the darkness."

"You have done dark magic. Why can't I?"

Because your light is so much brighter than mine ever was, Severus thought to himself. Out loud he said, "Lily- if there's one light you need to sacrifice, it's this; for now, you need to concentrate your efforts on fighting the Death Eaters, and to do that, you can't weaken the dark weapon the ministry holds against them. We can destroy Azkaban when this is over, and then you can take us to the stars."

"But- there's so much pain happening right now," Lily gasped. "Mum and Da died fighting the darkness. I need to, or else their fight was…"

Severus slid down from his own stool and took Lily's hands. "Did you see the crowd at the church? Your parents brought so much light into that dull little town. They improved so many lives. Don't for a moment think that their fight was futile, or that they would want you to sacrifice your light for them."

Lily didn't sob- didn't so much as quiver- but her tears fell on their clasped hands.

"You will make the world better," Severus said. "You will take us to the stars. Don't give up your dreams, or your memories."

#

The next disaster occurred on the Dark Lord's orders.

As soon as Severus heard the order, he knew it was doomed. When Severus attained his mastery, the Dark Lord insisted that Severus must play spy, and asked him to attend an interview for the newly-vacated position of Potions Master at Hogwarts.

Dumbledore, Severus knew, would never hire someone like him- a Slytherin with a reputation as dark as could be. And if Dumbledore did offer Severus the position, how could he become a double agent, fooling the two most powerful wizards in the world simultaneously? Severus approached the interview with dread in the pit of his stomach, only because he must.

But he never completed the interview, because he heard the prophecy.

At first, Severus was too shocked to process the words. The one with the power to defeat the Dark Lord? A newborn? It didn't make any sense.

Then McGonagall had spotted Severus as he listened through the crack in the door, and he'd panicked. He fled, disapparated to the cottage, and just as he was getting his senses, the dark marked burned.

"Severus," the Dark Lord had said with a sneer as Severus apparated again. "I take it the interview didn't go well?"

Severus's hand was burning- he looked down and saw that he'd splinched it. He felt dizzy as he watched his blood drip onto the floor.

"I-"

Before Severus could collect himself, the Dark Lord twisted his way past the barriers and into Severus's mind. There he saw the memory that was echoing again and again.

"Very well done, Severus," the Dark Lord hissed. "We will crush this new enemy before it can ever grow into a threat. Very well done, indeed."

#

Even at home, the words echoed endlessly through Severus's mind.

"Maybe it's for the best that the Dark Lord knows," James was saying.

"How could that possibly be for the best?" Lily asked through a mouthful of crisps.

"It could be one of those self-fulfilling prophecies," James answered. "Trying to stop it might lead the Dark Lord to his doom. Lily, is that the last bag of crisps?"

"I can't help it- I'm hungry," Lily pouted. "The question is, who could it be? The prophecy didn't specify the kid had to be pureblood, or from England. The Dark Lord could never kill every baby born in July."

"It has to be born to parents he's come across before- born to those who have thrice defied him."

…thrice defied him.

"It depends on how you define the word 'defy,'" Lily said thoughtfully. "I don't think it's one of his followers, because 'disobey' doesn't quite fit. It has to be more than just escaping him in battle, too, so it can't be just any Order member."

Severus's blood went cold.

"How about three people who entered into a conspiracy to spy on the Dark Lord and take his secrets to Dumbledore?" Severus whispered.

Lily dropped her crisps.

"Lily- when was your last…?" James whispered.

Lily's hands went to her abdomen. "It can't be."

But it was.

They could not flee- could not go to Italy, like they'd planned. The Dark Lord had minions at the ministry, keeping tabs on international portkeys, and now that she was pregnant, it was too risky for Lily to apparrate.

They waited for Dumbledore to do something, but he did not, even after Lily told him when she was due. Finally, Severus went to Dumbledore out of desperation, and Dumbledore promised to protect Lily, James, and the child in return for Severus's service.

But Dumbledore did not protect them.

Severus's mind flashed to the last hidden memory, the night of the attack at the Cottage. The whole thing had been a ruin, but Harry- Harry was alive in the rubble, crying out for his mother. Sirius fled the scene, murder in his eyes, as Severus gathered Harry in his arms.

Severus prepared to go- prepared to take Harry to Gringotts, where their stone was hidden, but Dumbledore had stopped him.

"Give me the child," Dumbledore said firmly.

"You don't understand- it's not too late!"

Dumbledore had sighed, and then said one single word.

"Obliviate."

#

Dumbledore had obliviated Severus several times over the years. He'd kept him close all that time, monitoring him, and every time Severus started to remember, every time Severus found a clue, Dumbledore had wiped his mind clean.

Severus found himself blinking at his washroom mirror, once more. He wanted to rage against Dumbledore- to scream and cry for all he had lost, but there was no time. It wasn't too late.

He had to save Lily and James.