Chapter 26 – Trigger Happy

"Alright, you can take that off now."

Leia and Padmé had – after much tribulation – successfully navigated labyrinthine hospital complex and finally arrived in the hallway leading to the operating room where Vader had been the morning prior. At her instruction, Padmé unveiled herself and wrapped the face scarf she had been wearing to this point around her neck.

"I don't know about this. You're taking a big risk by lying to him."

Leia dismissed Padmé's demurral with a shake of her head. "Don't worry," she said. "This is going to work. Trust me."

Padmé grumbled something under her breath, but Leia didn't bother try to discern it. Instead, she marched purposefully down the hallway toward the airlock. As if on cue, the doctor Leia had met yesterday stepped out into the hallway right when they reached the door.

"Oh," she said. "You've returned." Her eyes darted toward Padmé. "And you are…?"

"An acquaintance," Leia said vaguely.

The doctor frowned. "I must insist that family only be permitted into Lord Vader's room."

Leia faltered. During her moment of indecision, Padmé took the initiative. "I'll handle this," she said. Glancing over at her, Leia was alarmed to see Padmé reaching for her holster.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"You can't just kill her!"

"I wasn't going to kill her!"

"Or stun her!"

Padmé hesitated before lowering her hand away from her holster. "Fine," she said, shoulders sagging in dejection.

Leia returned her attention to the startled doctor. "I'm sorry about that," she said. "My friend here can be a bit trigger happy."

The doctor nodded nervously. "I, um… I'm sorry, but I can't allow –"

"I understand that you have a protocol, doctor, but Lord Vader will want to see her," Leia interrupted. "He would be quite upset if he found out you refused to permit her entry."

The doctor gulped. "He would?"

Leia gave her a sympathetic look. "I am usually able to calm him down, but I can't guarantee that he wouldn't… lash out. Do you catch my drift, doctor?"

She nodded vigorously. "Of course, forgive me," she said hastily. "Take as much time as you need. He's asleep still, but he should wake soon."

"How is he?" Padmé asked.

"He completed the second round of bacta treatment an hour ago. He has one more scheduled for tomorrow, but he is recovering remarkably well."

"That's good news," Leia said.

"It's miraculous, considering the circumstances," the doctor said. "If you'll excuse me."

"Of course," Leia said as she stepped aside. "Thank you for your work, doctor."

Eager to depart, the doctor smiled thinly before hurrying past them down the hallway. Leia and Padmé watched her for a few moments before looking at one another.

"Do you always resort to violence?" Leia asked.

"Do you always resort to threats?" Padmé countered.

"A little fear won't kill anyone. A blaster on the other hand –"

Padmé raised her hands in surrender. "Alright, point taken. Let's just get this over with."

Sparing Padmé one last disapproving look, Leia turned to open the airlock. The pair stepped inside and were greeted by the sterilization jets. Once they were deemed clean to enter, the exited the airlock and into the operating room.

At once, Leia could see a marked improvement in Vader's condition. The gruesome burn marks which had once covered his skin had faded to reveal unblemished shin with a rosy pink hue. He had an assortment of scars snaking up and down his torso and a few blotches of bruised flesh, but other than that, he looked quite healthy.

As she approached the bed, she noticed for the first time how emaciated he was. She could count every one of his ribs and his muscles were atrophied. When he was in the suit, he gave the impression of strength and brawn, but now she could see that it was an illusion. In fact, without his prosthetic legs, Vader appeared tiny, especially in comparison to the hulking man with whom she had become accustomed.

"He looks better," Leia said faintly. Looking up, she saw that Padmé had not followed her to Vader's bedside and was still standing by the airlock. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Padmé chewed on her lower lip as she stared intently at Vader's sleeping figure. Her eyes glistened as she scanned him up and down. She took a hesitant step forward, but seemed unable to move any closer.

Leia felt as if she could understand Padmé's behavior at least somewhat. When Han had brought Luke back to Echo Base after the wampa attack, Leia had been terrified to see the injuries he had sustained. At the time, she had been afraid that the Luke she had known wouldn't ever be the same. While that had ended up not being the case, Padmé hadn't been so fortunate. She actually had lost Anakin, and now she was seeing the physical proof of that. The man that lay before her was a mangled husk of the one she had once loved.

Returning her attention to her father, Leia tentatively extended a finger to his face and ran her knuckle along his cheek. The left half of his face had a few minor scars and a patch of gauze was covering his eyebrow which presumably had been sheared off in the explosion. Much to Leia's dissatisfaction, they had shaved off her father's luxuriant hair and all that remained was blonde stubble. Other than that, however, he looked entirely recognizable to her. The doctor was right. His recovery truly had been remarkable.

Vader's eyes fluttered and Leia quickly retracted her finger from his face. "Father?" she asked in a whisper. "Can you hear me?"

He turned toward her voice and made a guttural sound. He lazily opened his eyes and grinned when he saw her. "Leia," he mumbled.

She laughed at his expression. "Hey there."

He raised his mechanical hand and pointed a finger at her. "You're my daughter," he said in a slurred voice. He then reached up and poked her on the nose. Startled, Leia blinked a few times as Vader let his hand drop back to the bed. "My girl," he said before closing his eyes with a contented sigh.

"Don't fall asleep just yet," Leia said gently. "We need to talk to you."

"We?" Vader asked.

Leia glanced up at Padmé. "There's someone here to see you," she said.

Vader made a soft humming sound as he nestled his head into the pillow. Amused, she shook her head good-naturedly before prodding him on the shoulder.

"Come on, wake up," she said, yet Vader ignored her. Turning to Padmé, she beckoned her forward. Unsurprisingly, she hesitated, but eventually she did take a few steps forward until she was at Leia's side. "Father?" she asked, looking back down at him. "Could you wake up?"

Vader remained unresponsive. After a few seconds, Leia was about to insist more forcefully when Padmé spoke up. "Anakin," she said with authority. "Wake up."

Startled to hear her voice, Vader opened his eyes with a start. "Padmé?" he asked. Husband and wife stared at each other silently for a few moments until the former frowned. "What are you doing here?" he asked. He then glanced around at his surroundings. "Where… where am I? What happened?"

"You don't remember anything?" Leia asked.

Vader scrunched up his forehead as he concentrated. "I was… with you," he said. "And then…"

"There was an explosion," Padmé said. "You were badly injured."

"I… I don't remember."

"That's okay," Leia said.

Vader's eyes widened when he looked down at his body. "My legs," he said.

"The doctors had to remove your prosthetics," Leia said. "They were too badly damaged in the explosion."

Vader didn't seem to be listening. He started breathing heavily as he attempted to sit upright. "No, no, I don't want… I don't want to."

Leia shared a concerned look with Padmé. "What don't you want to do?" she asked.

"He… he's going to trap me."

"Trap you?"

"Padmé! You have to help me!"

"Calm down!" Leia exclaimed when Vader began to thrash about in his sheets. When she reached out to restrain him, she was suddenly flooded with a flash of memories which moved so fast that she barely had time to register them.

It's over, Anakin!

You underestimate my powers!

Don't try it!

You were the Chosen One!

Master! Help me! Help me!

The visions were cut short when Leia heard a bang. Padmé had her arms around her and was dragging her away from Vader's bedside.

"Leia! Leia, are you okay?"

She nodded dazedly. "Father…"

"It's okay. I took care of it."

The door to the operating room suddenly opened and in ran the doctor. "What happened?" she asked. "I heard –" She abruptly shut up when Padmé released Leia and pointed her blaster at the doctor's face.

"Leave," she commanded.

The doctor raised her hands and took a step back. "What happened?" she asked.

"We had an incident," Padmé said. "Lord Vader needed to be… restrained."

The doctor's mouth fell open. "You blasted my patient?"

"What!?" Leia exclaimed.

"No! No, I didn't!" Padmé said, lowering the blaster. "I stunned him, that's all."

"How could you?" Leia asked, aghast.

"He grabbed you. What else was I supposed to do?"

"He wasn't going to hurt me!"

"You don't know that."

"Step away from my patient!" the doctor demanded. "Now!"

Leia and Padmé both complied and the doctor hurried forward. Producing a flashlight, she tested Vader's pupils before looking back up at them.

"That was incredibly irresponsible of you," she reprimanded. "My patient is in an extremely fragile state. You could have killed him!"

Padmé raised her chin in defiance. "In that case, I would have done us all a favor."

Leia gasped. "How dare you!"

"I will always choose you over him. You know that."

"You're looking for an excuse to hurt him!"

"That's unfair."

"He's suffering so much already! Why do you want to inflict even more pain on him?"

Padmé's steely expression faltered and she looked away toward Vader. "I don't," she said softly. "I don't want him to suffer."

Leia considered this somber confession for a moment before holding out her hand. "Give me the blaster," she ordered.

Padmé's moment of melancholy passed as indignation caused her to turn back to Leia. "Not a chance," she barked.

"Okay, then." With a flick of her wrist, Leia summoned the blaster from Padmé's hand and snagged it out of the air. Stunned, Padmé stared at her blaster with wide eyes. "You have to learn to stop using this," Leia said as she clipped the blaster to her belt.

Padmé was about to offer a retort, but was interrupted when they heard Vader groan. Spinning back to him, she saw Vader rubbing his forehead with his mechanical hand.

"Lord Vader, can you hear me?" asked the doctor.

"What happened?"

The doctor glanced up at Padmé. "Your guest –" she began to say, but Leia cut her off.

"You passed out," she said loudly. "You were saying something about being trapped?"

Vader's face turned solemn. "Oh right. That."

Leia and Padmé approached his bed. "You're going to be okay," Leia told him. "It's not going to be like last time." Vader looked up at her sharply. "The doctor is going to help you," she said. Clearing her throat, she looked up at the doctor. "I'm sorry, I never got your name."

"Vezara," she said.

Leia bowed her head in appreciation. "Doctor Vezara's going to fit you with much better prosthetics," she told Vader.

"Better how?"

Vezara pursed her lips. "Lord Vader, may I ask who was responsible for applying your first prosthetics?" she asked.

Vader's lip curled with bitterness. "The Emperor," he said.

"I see," Vezara said. "Perhaps it would have been better if a medical professional had overseen your surgery."

"How come?"

"Your prosthetics were very crudely applied. The metal was drilled directly into your bone."

Vader nodded. "I was told this is how these surgeries are performed."

Vezara blinked a few times in surprise. "You were misinformed, Lord Vader," she said faintly. When Vader stared at her blankly, Vezara elaborated. "The manner in which your prosthetics were applied is not a recommended medical procedure."

"Why not?"

"It is considered inhumane."

"Inhumane?"

"The pain these prosthetics caused you must have been excruciating."

Vader shrugged. "I suppose," he said meekly.

"You've been in pain all this time?" Leia asked. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Who was there to tell?"

Leia felt a pang of sorrow at this question. Vader had been completely and utterly alone for the past twenty years. Leia and to a lesser extent Luke had been the first people to have gotten close to him since he put on the suit.

Vezara resumed speaking, and Leia pushed aside this depressing thought. "If you are willing, I would like to remove your remaining two prosthetics and apply you with four of the most advanced mechanical limbs we have available to us. They should provide you with greater range of motion and will not cause you any discomfort. Furthermore, we now have the ability to create synthetic skin. Your mechanical limbs will therefore look, for lack of a better term, normal."

Vader looked away as he considered this. "That sounds… promising," he said.

"You will be able to look like how you were before you lost your limbs," Vezara told him. "You will no longer have to wear a body suit and you can return to your natural height, if you so wish."

Leia could tell at once that this suggestion would not be taken well. Before Vader could react, therefore, she spoke up. "Thank you, doctor. Could you give us a few minutes? We'd just like to… talk about some things."

Vezara gave Padmé a suspicious glare. "I suppose," she said. "I'll be in the hallway."

Once she had left through the airlock, Vader released his frustrations on to them. "My natural height? What a ridiculous thing to say!"

"You have to forgive the doctor for her lack of tact," Leia said diplomatically.

"It's not a lack of tact, it's a lack of decency!" Vader rumbled.

"Forget she said that, okay? You're still going to do the surgery, aren't you?"

Vader crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I want my suit back," he said petulantly.

"What? Why?"

"I'll take the new prosthetics, but I'm not changing my appearance. No synthetic skin. No changes to my height. I want to look the same."

Leia scratched her temple. She couldn't let Vader do that. What she had said to Padmé was literal as much as it was metaphorical. In order to get Vader to take off his mask he needed to be out of the suit. Otherwise, he would never become Anakin Skywalker again like she needed him to be.

Before she could attempt to change his mind, Vader looked away from her toward Padmé. "How are you here?" he asked. He hadn't been lucid enough to ask this question before, but now it must have dawned upon him that she shouldn't have been able to leave the apartment without him.

"I broke her out," Leia said.

Vader spun his head back to her. "What?"

"I was scared," she said. "I thought you were going to die." The lie worked so well because it wasn't really a lie. The statement was true, it just didn't explain how Padmé had managed to escape the apartment.

Vader's incredulous expression softened. "I see." Leia waited for him to ask the next question about Luke, but fortunately he did not. That would have been much harder to explain. Luke had stayed back on the Falcon with the Rebels because it was too risky for him to be on Imperial Center.

"So listen, I think you need to fix some things before your next bacta treatment," Leia said.

"What are you talking about?"

"The Rebels were blamed for the explosion and were taken into custody, but I don't think they are responsible."

Vader furrowed his brow. He clearly hadn't thought about who was responsible until now.

"It doesn't make any sense," Leia continued. "They were planning on cooperating with you. Blowing you up would be inimical to their interests." When Vader nodded absently, she proceeded with the lie she had fabricated. "So I was thinking that someone else did this. Someone else who would have wanted you dead."

"Amedda."

Surprised that Vader had come to the conclusion before she could even say it, Leia was momentarily speechless. "Um… yeah," she said. "That's exactly what I was thinking. He was furious when we proposed granting the Rebels concessions and he didn't show up to the meeting yesterday. He must have been behind this."

"I never trusted him," Vader growled. "He's always been Palpatine's puppet."

"You need to have him arrested," Leia campaigned.

Vader shook his head. "He'll be long gone," he said. "Most likely went to team up with Gideon."

"Maybe," Leia conceded. "But you should still let the Rebels out of prison."

"No," Vader said. "Let them stay there."

"What?"

"Prison is where they belong."

"But they didn't do anything wrong!"

"They disrespected me."

"But –"

"Don't fight me on this, Leia. By releasing them, I would be condoning their actions."

"What actions? All they did was make one little suggestion! They just want you to go by a different name, that's all!"

"I am not doing it! I am not going to pretend to be someone I'm not!"

"Are you afraid?"

Surprised to hear Padmé finally insert herself into the conversation, both Vader and Leia fell silent. "Afraid?" Vader repeated. "I'm not –"

"Yes you are," Padmé interrupted. "You're afraid of who you once were."

"No –" Vader tried to say, but Padmé didn't let him speak.

"It's okay," she said. "I'm afraid of myself too."

Vader stared back at her with his mouth agape. "You are?"

"I am," she confirmed. "But I had to face myself for the sake of my children. Luke and Leia's mother isn't Boba Fett, and neither is their father Darth Vader."

Vader remained silent as he absorbed this information. He glanced at Leia and contemplated her for a moment before speaking. "You're wrong," he said to Padmé. "I am Leia's father. You may not like it, but it's the truth."

Leia's face fell at this comment. He fundamentally misunderstood how she viewed him. She thought of him as her father, but only when he took off the mask and ceased to be Vader.

"Leia, would you give us a moment alone?" Padmé requested.

"Alone? Why –"

"It will only take a moment." Leia met her gaze and Padmé gave her a reassuring nod. Give me a chance, she seemed to be saying. Leia had to be willing to give her that. If anyone could convince Vader to change, it was her.

"Okay," she said. She spared Vader one last look. He seemed to be as confused as she was, but no doubt he was intrigued to hear what Padmé had to say. "I'll go talk to the doctor, I guess," she mumbled before turning around and departing through the airlock.

Arriving in the hallway, she saw Doctor Vezara leaning against the wall. She looked absolutely exhausted. The woman probably hadn't gotten any sleep over the past few days. Hearing her approach, Vezara turned to see her.

"Has he made a decision?" she asked.

Leia pursed her lips. "We're trying to convince him."

"He has reservations?"

Leia sighed and bowed her head. "He's afraid."

"Afraid? Of what?"

"I have no idea."

A long silence followed these heavy words. Leia turned back to look at the airlock and wondered what they could be talking about.

"That woman in there is your mother, isn't she?"

Leia spun back toward the doctor. "My… mother?" she repeated, feigning bemusement.

"You look so much alike."

Leia chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess we do." Her humor turned somber as she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "I just wish we were more alike on the inside, too."

"It's good to see that you trust her, though."

Leia looked up and frowned. "What do you mean?"

Vezara gestured to Leia's belt. "You gave her the blaster back, didn't you?"

Leia's eyes widened as she patted her belt. Sure enough, there was no blaster to be found. "Oh no," she gasped.

She took off running toward the airlock and wrenched the heavy door open. She heard Vezara calling after her, but she ignored her. "Open! Open, damnit!" she yelled as the pressurized jets in the airlock sanitized her. She pulled as hard as she could on the door, but it wouldn't yield. Finally, she was deemed clean enough to enter and the door opened with a hiss.

She barreled into the operating room to see Padmé at Vader's bedside aiming the blaster at his forehead. She twirled around to see Leia and at once pointed the flamethrower on her left arm at her. "Back up!" she yelled. "Don't come any closer!" Her voice was trembling and her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Leia raised her hands. "No, please don't –" she begged, but Vader stopped her.

"It's okay, Leia," he said with remarkable calm. He then craned his head to lock eyes with Padmé. "Go ahead. Do it." Padmé swallowed hard as she pressed the blaster into his forehead between his eyes. "I deserve it."

Padmé's whole arm shook and she bit down hard on her tongue to stabilize herself. "You do," she said through gritted teeth.

"So do it."

All was still. Padmé opened her mouth, but no coherent words came out. "I… I…"

"Kill me!" Vader bellowed.

Padmé pulled the trigger.