CHAPTER 28

I watched as the bellman put the last of mine and Finn's things on the large hotel luggage cart and pushed it through the door and out into the hallway. My heart felt heavy inside my chest, like it was carrying an extra burden, keeping it from beating properly. The part of me that was in love with Jace wanted to stay here, but the part of me that belonged to Matthew and Finn knew that I had to leave. I looked around the room, taking everything in and committing it to memory. What Jace and I had shared here would remain with just the two of us. A beautiful secret we would share for the rest of our lives. It was as inevitable as it was necessary for both of us.

"Is that everything, Cook?" said Jace suddenly appearing behind me.

"Yep, that's the last of it. You were far too generous to us, Jace," I replied.

"It was nice having a little family of my own for a while. It helped heal my heart," he said. I was afraid to say anything for fear of crying again. This man reached deeper inside me than any other human being had before and letting him go for a second time was going to be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do.

"Before we head over to your house, can I ask you to do something for me?"

"What's that, cowboy?"

"Will you dance with me one last time? I haven't done much dancing since the day we got married, for obvious reasons," he said, patting his left thigh.

"I'd be honored to dance with you, cowboy," I said. He pulled his phone out of the front pocket of his jeans and scrolled through it for a minute, then set it down on the dining room table. The sounds of "Amazed" by Lonestar started to play. Jace lifted his arms up from his sides, inviting me to take my position in front of him.

"It's our weddin' song," he said, taking me in his arms.

"I remember," I said, holding back tears. He held me gently as we began to move to the music.

Every time our eyes meet

This feeling inside me

Is almost more than I can take

Baby, when you touch me

I can feel how much you love me

And it just blows me away

"You used to say that dancing with me made you feel like a little kitten climbing a big oak tree," he said, looking down on me with his beautiful blue eyes and his long dark hair falling down around his face.

"I was right. It does," I said, looking up at his beautiful face.

I've never been this close to anyone or anything

I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do

I'm so in love with you

It just keeps getting better

I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side

Forever and ever

Every little thing that you do

Baby, I'm amazed by you

I laid my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. His arms encircled me, drawing me in even closer to him. He kissed the top of my head as we continued to move slowly to the music. When the song ended, he cupped my face in his hands and drew it upwards towards his. I could see that his eyes were wet with tears as he lowered his face to me. His lips landed on mine in a soft, slow, deep, wet kiss.

"Thank you for that," he whispered when he pulled his mouth away from mine.

"I'd give you so much more if I could, Jackson," I said as the tears I had been fighting rolled defiantly down my cheeks.

"I know, baby, but what you gave me here will feed my soul for a long, long time," he said, his deep voice cracking with emotion. He rubbed his thumbs across my cheeks as he held my head, wiping the last of my tears away. He kissed me softly one more time before taking my hand and leading me out of the suite that had been my home for the last two weeks. I felt as though I was leaving a part of my heart behind for Jackson and that made me happy.

"Momma!" screamed Finn as I walked in the front door of my house. He came running at me full speed, his little bare feet tramping across the carpet until he was directly in front of me. I picked him up and covered his little face with kisses. Matt was following close behind him.

"Finny! Momma missed you! Have you been having fun with Daddy?" I said.

"Yep! We had cakes!" he squealed.

"I heard! Were they yummy?" I asked.

"No yuck!" he said, wrinkling up his little nose and giggling.

"I told you that Momma was the pancake maker, big guy! Welcome home, baby," said Matt, leaning in for a kiss. He snaked his arm around my back and pulled me towards him until his mouth was on mine. The familiar feel of his lips felt comforting, which was not something I expected, but was welcomed nonetheless. We were interrupted by the sound of Jace clambering up the front steps with his arms full of toys he had bought for Finn.

"Let me help you," said Matt, letting go of me and opening the screen door for him. He took a large pedal car that was shaped like a fire truck from Jace's hands. Jace set the other things down in the entryway.

"Jay! Jay!" exclaimed Finn, trying to wriggle from my arms with his hands outstretched towards Jace.

"Hey there, pardner! Come over here and see Uncle Jace!" said Jace, taking him from my arms. I glanced at Matt to gauge his reaction. To my surprise, he seemed nonplussed. He had a faint smile on his face as he watched Jackson kiss the side of Finn's head. I had to give Matt credit for keeping his cool. He could have made this moment very awkward for Jace, but so far, he had remained amiable.

"Is there more?" asked Matt, looking at Jace for an answer.

"Oh yeah, there's more in both vehicles," answered Jace. Jace handed Finn to me, then exited the house with Matt behind him. I played with Finn while the two men brought everything in and distributed it between our dining room and Finn's bedroom.

"That's all of it," said Matt, turning his attention to Jace. "I want to thank you for taking care of my family, Jackson. I know I haven't exactly treated you very well since you came to Chicago and I want to apologize for that," said Matt, turning towards Jace. He extended his hand to Jace. Jace gripped it firmly, shaking it slowly and deliberately.

"You're welcome. To be totally honest, I'm not sure I would have treated you any differently if our roles were reversed. I'm sure you know by now that I'm still in love with her," said Jace, still holding Matt's hand in a death grip. I swallowed hard and held my breath, waiting for the sonic boom that was sure to follow.

"I do," said Matt.

"I also understand that you have your reasons for wanting me to stay away from Chicago and I can respect that. I'm giving you the chance to make things right because I love her and that's what she wants," he said.

"I appreciate your honesty," said Matt.

"Good, then let me be honest about something else...this is the second time since I've known Madeleine that you've broken her heart, so the next time you hurt her, I'll come back here so fast, you won't have time to beg her for forgiveness. I won't bother to ask you to step aside because next time, I'll just knock you on your ass to get to her. Three strikes and you're out, motherfucker. You got me?" I held my breath again, certain that Matt would explode.

"Loud and clear," said Matt, nodding his head and looking like a kid that's been given an ultimatum for his extremely bad behavior.

"Good, now would you mind if I had a few minutes alone with her before I leave?" asked Jace.

"Sure. I'll put Finn down for his nap now," said Matt as he picked Finn up and retreated upstairs, leaving Jace and me alone. He took my hand in his and led me outside, stopping next to his Hummer.

"Well, Cookie...here we are again, saying goodbye to each other. I was really hopin' that when we said goodbye when I went back to Iraq that it would be the last time we'd ever have to do it, but life has a way of gettin' fucked up," he said, taking both my hands in his. His blue eyes were filled with such sadness that I felt as if the breath was being sucked out of my lungs.

"I'm sorry, Jackson, I wish…" I started to say before Jace interrupted me.

"Don't apologize, Cook. It is what it is. At least I got to see you again. I even got to have you all to myself for a while. That's something I'll never forget," he said.

"Me neither, cowboy. Whenever the world around me gets cold, I'll wrap myself up in the memories that we made in the last couple of weeks," I said, tears streaming down my face.

"I'm always gonna remember us that way, Cook. What we had when we first met and got married was the way I remembered us while I was in the desert. Now, I've got new memories that are even more beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to help me...with everything."

He didn't need to explain what everything meant. I knew instinctively what he was referring to. It was something that would always keep us connected no matter where we were. It would remain a secret for the rest of our lives. It had to.

"You helped me, too, cowboy...in so many ways...and for that, I will always be grateful," I said.

"Do you think he took me seriously?" he asked, nodding his head towards the house.

"I'm sure he did. He'd be a fool not to. I'm just surprised he took it without a fight," I said.

"So am I, but what else could he do? He wants you back and I wanted him to know that I'd be watching him. I meant every word I said."

"When will you be heading back home?"

"In a week, I think. Two at the most. I got a little business to finish up first," he said.

"Can I be nosy and ask what kind of business?"

"I bought a house here in Chicago...just in case," he said with a sly grin on his face, making me laugh out loud.

"You love playing with fire, don't you, cowboy?" I said.

"Well, baby...when you've spent as much time in Hell as I have, it's a whole lot easier to dance with the devil," he said with a sly grin.

"I'm gonna miss you," I said.

"I'm gonna miss you like crazy, baby. I love you with all my heart, Cookie. I always will," he said.

"I will always love you too, Jackson. We will always have a special bond," I said.

"Harper," he said.

"Yeah, but we have a bond that goes well beyond our daughter, cowboy. You know it just as well as I do," I said.

"I sure as hell do, Cook. I gotta know...did he ever ask you if we slept together?"

"No, he didn't. My guess is that he really doesn't want to know," I said.

"Do you think he's watching us right now?"

"I'd be shocked if he wasn't."

"Good, because I'm gonna kiss you for what will probably be the last time in my life and I want him to see it."

"The last time he saw us kissing, he slept with his ex-wife," I said with a smirk on my face.

"Well, if he makes that same mistake again, I'm coming back for you, just like I said I would."

"I must be crazy because I'm counting on that, cowboy," I said.

"So am I, baby...so am I...and you're not crazy, you're beautiful," he said. He cupped my face, tilting it upwards towards his, then he leaned down slowly until his lips brushed across mine. He enveloped my mouth in a deep, slow, soft, wet kiss that seemed to last for days. His hands moved down to the sides of my neck as his tongue gently explored my mouth. I held onto his waist for purchase when I felt my legs begin to shake underneath me. When he finally lifted his head away from mine, my heart was pounding and I felt unable to breathe. I could see his blue eyes glistening as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Goddamn, Cook...this is hard," he said. His hands were still holding my neck and I reached up to hold on to his wrists.

"It's gonna hurt to watch you leave, but this won't be the last time we see each other. I'm sure of that," I said.

"I hope you're right. Goodbye, baby...I love you."

"I love you too, Jackson. Take care of yourself." He nodded his head and climbed into his vehicle. He buckled his seatbelt and gazed at me through the open window. His electric blue eyes flashed beneath his dark lashes, his eyebrow scar a permanent reminder of the beginning of our life together, both called out to me as if to say our story wasn't over yet even though we both knew it had to be. He turned the key in the ignition, shifted the Hummer into drive and pulled away. I watched as he drove to the end of the street, then signaled to make a right hand turn. When he was finally out of sight, I drew a deep breath in and slowly blew it out. I turned and walked up the brick path that led to the front steps. When I reached the front door, Matt was waiting there.

"Are you okay?" he asked, drawing me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around my husband and squeezed him tight.

"Yeah, I'm more than okay. I'm home and I feel at peace for the first time in a long time. How about you, Captain? Are you okay? He was pretty rough on you," I said, leaning my head against his chest.

"Yeah, baby...I'm fine. It wasn't anything I couldn't handle or didn't deserve, to be honest," he said.

"OK, if you say so," I replied,

"I say so. I love you, Mel," he said.

"I love you too, Mac," I replied.