Fuck, Elena thought as she ran for the door. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This shouldn't have happened! She'd never meant to hurt Raquel, she'd just wanted to get out. Shoulder wound, non-fatal. She'd hoped Raquel would be able to run before she got back with backup, but that wouldn't be happening now. Back to the tent, ten minutes at a run. She just hoped Sergio would get back soon. Ambulance, twenty minutes. She reached the door and threw one last look over her shoulder back at Raquel, who was lying on the ground with blood pooling underneath her. A lot of blood. Too much blood. She shouldn't be bleeding this much from a shot to the shoulder. The subclavian artery, it flashed through Elena's mind. But it couldn't be, the subclavian was almost impossible to hit, safely hidden beneath the collarbone. Elena put her hand on the door handle, torn. She was so close to freedom, but the blood, the blood…
Fuck it, she had to check on Raquel, just to make sure the subclavian wasn't hit. She ran back into the hangar and kneeled by Raquel's side, her pants instantly soaked with blood. God, so much blood. She carefully pushed Raquel onto her back, and immediately realized from the way the blood was pumping out in bursts from a hole just underneath her collarbone that the bullet had indeed hit an artery. Subclavian artery, exsanguination time 4 minutes. If she left now, Raquel would bleed to death long before she could get back with an ambulance. Swearing loudly, Elena got up and ran to the sleeping area of the hangar, where she grabbed one of Sergio's clean shirts and returned with it to press it to the wound. She couldn'tjust let her die, she couldn't.
With one hand, she pressed the shirt firmly against Raquel's chest, while patting her cheek with the other.
"Raquel", she said urgently. "Raquel!"
There was no response, and Elena pressed her fingers to Raquel's throat right underneath the line of her jaw. Yes, thank god, there was still a pulse. She tried again, patting her cheek, leaving bloody fingerprints on her face.
"Raquel, please!"
Raquel's eyelids flickered, and Elena felt an immense rush of relief.
"Stay with me!" she said. "Stay with me, okay?"
"Sergio", Raquel whispered.
"He'll be right here", Elena said, hoping fervently that it was true. "He'll be right here, don't worry."
The shirt in her hands was already soaked and red, but at least the blood seeping from underneath it had slowed down to a trickle. Every second seemed like an eternity to Elena. Sergio, where are you? Raquel's eyes closed again, and this time Elena couldn't wake her. She felt a wave of nausea. She'd already failed this woman twice – would the third time be fatal?
Finally, she heard voices, and looked up to see two people emerge from the tunnel. They saw Raquel and froze.
"Call an ambulance!" Elena yelled. "Quickly!"
Sergio suddenly seemed to make sense of the situation and he ran to them, falling to his knees beside Raquel.
"No", he whispered, his eyes wide with horror. "No, no, please no, Raquel!"
"She's alive", Elena said, "but just barely. Call an ambulance!"
He was still staring at Raquel, seeming paralyzed with shock, so Elena lifted a hand and hit him sharply on the cheek.
"Snap out of it, Sergio, she needs you!"
He blinked, then took out his phone with trembling hands.
"An ambulance will take twenty-one minutes to get here and take her to the hospital", he said, his voice shaking. "I have a doctor on standby."
"Well tell him to hurry."
Sergio was holding the phone to his ear. "Mikael? Man down, come immediately."
He threw the phone aside and turned back to Raquel. Elena firmly took his hand and put it on the blood-soaked shirt.
"Put pressure here, and don't let up until the doctor gets here, do you understand?"
He took over from her, not taking his eyes off of Raquel's face, and Elena felt a rush of hope that she might get out after all. She quickly got up, but as she turned around, she was looking right into the barrel of Nairobi's gun.
"I don't think so", Nairobi said angrily. "You're not going anywhere."
…
Blood was pounding in Sergio's ears and he was living his worst nightmare. Don't die, was the only thought in his head. Don't leave me. I'll do anything, just don't die. Her face so pale, except for the red smudges on her cheek, her eyes closed, her body limp, his hands red with her blood. God, so much blood, so much, how was she still alive? Don't die, he thought frantically, barely noticing the tears streaming down his cheeks. Please, my love. Please. He was only vaguely aware of Nairobi stopping Elena from leaving – honestly, he didn't care, he didn't care about anything right now except for keeping her alive. He couldn't wrap his head around how this had happened – they'd been talking about their future mere minutes ago, and now he felt like the world was crashing down around him. Don't die, he kept repeating over and over in his mind. Don't die, Raquel. I'll give up everything, anything, anything at all if you just stay with me. Stay with me my love, my love. Who would I be without you?
Rationally, he knew it only took the doctor a few minutes to get to the hangar, but he felt like he'd aged a lifetime by the time he heard the knock on the door and Nairobi ran to open it. The doctor rushed in, took one look at the blood pooling around Raquel and ordered Nairobi to help him prepare a space to operate. Then, the three of them carefully lifted Raquel off the ground and onto the operating table.
"She's lost too much blood", the doctor said. "If I operate on her now, she won't make it. Do you have bags of blood with her blood type?"
"No", Sergio whispered, wondering why, why they weren't prepared for this. He realized with a stab of panic that he didn't even know her blood type – how had he never asked her that?
"Then she has to go to the hospital", the doctor said urgently. "She needs blood."
Something suddenly hit Sergio.
"Take mine", he said.
"Excuse me?"
"Take my blood", he repeated. "I'm O negative, the universal donor. No matter what blood type she has, she can have my blood."
"Salva", the doctor said, "she's going to need a lot of it."
"I don't care", he said, rolling up his sleeve. "Take however much she needs."
The doctor nodded and started taking out the necessary materials and disinfectant. Sergio kept his eyes on Raquel's face as the needle entered his vein and the blood started flowing to her. Hold on, he thought. Hold on, my love.
"I'll take as little as I safely can", the doctor said.
"You'll do no such thing", Sergio snapped. "You keep going until she's safe."
"You might faint", the doctor warned him.
"I don't care if I die", he said angrily. "You don't stop under any circumstances."
"Alright", the doctor said, shaking his head. "I don't have time to argue."
As the doctor prepared to start operating, Sergio kept his eyes on Raquel's pale face, willing her to live, wishing his blood would flow faster, wishing he could do more to keep her alive. The doctor removed the blood-soaked shirt and examined the wound.
"How bad is it?" Sergio asked in a whisper.
"The bullet entered just below the collarbone, with an upward trajectory", the doctor murmured, bent over Raquel. "Passed straight through the muscle of her shoulder and out the back. The lung wasn't punctured, no broken bones."
Sergio breathed a sigh of relief. That was something, at least.
"Looks like it just nicked the subclavian artery in passing, it's not completely severed", the doctor continued. "I should be able to operate successfully."
Raquel was given a general anesthetic and Nairobi acted as the doctor's assistant, handing him his instruments and wiping away the blood that was still streaming from the wound. After a while, Sergio started feeling dizzy, but he didn't say anything. It didn't matter – the only thing that mattered was that she stayed alive – she had to stay alive. He felt like he was balancing on the edge of an abyss, yawning vast and black and bottomless beneath him, ready to swallow him whole if she… if she… Please don't die, Raquel, don't leave me. Without you, I am lost. Without you, I am nothing.
A little while later, black spots started appearing in his vision, and he started swaying slightly.
"He's going to faint", Nairobi said sharply.
"I'll remove the needle", the doctor said, but Sergio pushed his hand away.
"Has she had enough?"
The doctor hesitated, and Sergio shook his head.
"Then you're not removing anything."
The doctor turned to Nairobi. "What's your blood type?"
"O positive", she said.
"That's not an option if we don't know her blood type. What about your… uhm… guest?"
Nairobi hurried over to Elena to ask her, but she came back shaking her head.
"Also O positive."
Sergio put a steadying hand on the table. "I can keep going for a bit longer."
"At least sit down", Nairobi said.
"He can't", the doctor said. "He has to be at a higher level than she is or the blood won't flow."
"Then I'll stand", he said firmly. "Keep going."
"Salva…"
"Keep going, Mikael", he said sharply. "I'm not your patient."
The doctor nodded and turned back to Raquel, and Sergio took deep breaths, fighting to stay conscious minute after minute. Hold on, my love. Hold on. The world narrowed down to just her face, and it was the last thing he saw before he felt his knees give way and everything went black.
…
He woke up with a pillow under his head and someone tapping him sharply on the cheek.
"Wake up", he heard a voice.
God, he felt weak. Even just opening his eyes was an effort. He managed it anyway, to see Nairobi's face above him, frowning.
"Well that was stupid of you."
"Raquel", he whispered. "Is she…?"
"She's fine", Nairobi said, and he felt such a heady rush of relief that it almost made him pass out again.
"Hey!" Nairobi said, tapping his cheek again. "Stay with us, Profe."
"Is she… is she really fine?" he managed.
"Yes, I swear. The doctor said she's out of danger. You on the other hand, are an idiot. Why didn't you say stop?"
"I don't matter", he murmured.
"You kind of do, though. How do you think she'd have felt if she woke up only to find you dead 'cause you pumped all of your blood into her and we didn't have any to pump back into you?"
He shifted and felt a pulling sensation in his elbow. He glanced down to see an IV stuck into his arm.
"We had to get fluids back into you", Nairobi explained. "You should feel better in a bit."
He nodded. "Help me up, Nairobi."
"Yeah, that's not happening."
"I need to see her."
"Profe, you're going to faint again straight away."
"I'm fine", he said, trying to sit up, but she effortlessly pushed him back down.
"Nairobi!"
"Shut up and stay down."
He tried again, but the result was the same, except now she raised a threatening finger.
"If you don't stay down, I'm going to sit on you! We have to wait until this IV bag is empty."
He kept his eyes on the bag as it dripped into his veins ever so slowly. He had to see her, he had to touch her and make sure, make absolutely sure that she was still alive. The wait was agony. Finally, finally, the last drop disappeared down the tube and he immediately pulled the needle out of his arm, wincing slightly. Nairobi took him by the elbow and helped him sit up. His vision went black around the edges, and he had to put his head between his knees for a moment to keep from fainting again.
"Yes", Nairobi said drily. "I see how fine you are. About to dance the samba, aren't you? Wait here."
She got him a glass of water, and after he drank it, he felt slightly better and his vision cleared.
"Alright", he nodded, and she pulled him up.
He swayed a little and leaned heavily on her as she helped him across the room to the bed, where a motionless figure was lying between the sheets. He fell to his knees beside her and touched her cheek, her skin reassuringly warm beneath his fingers.
"I'll go get you a chair", Nairobi said, but he barely heard her. He was dizzy and nauseous and weak, but he didn't feel any of it as he kept drinking in the sight of her, watching her chest move up and down slightly as she breathed. She's alive, he kept repeating to himself. She's alive, she's alive. He didn't notice the tears streaming down his face. She's alive.
…
Day 8
"Profe, you need to sleep."
"No."
"Then eat something, at least."
"No thank you."
"You lost a lot of blood too, you have to eat."
"Go away Nairobi."
"This won't help her, you know."
Sergio didn't reply to that. He didn't care. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, not while she was lying in bed, unconscious, unresponsive, two IVs dripping fluids and morphine and antibiotics into her veins. The doctor had said she was out of danger, but he couldn't quite believe it, and he didn't take his eyes off of her for even a second. He held her hand in his and kept two fingers on her wrist at all times to feel her heartbeat. The rhythm of her pulse was the single most important thing in the world.
Nairobi went away, and he had a vague sense of time passing and people moving in and out of the tunnel. He supposed they were keeping the operation running, but he couldn't bloody care. It could all go to hell as far as he was concerned. He heard them talking amongst themselves, arranging things, all of it just a blur of sound in the background, until suddenly something jumped out at him.
"How did this happen?" he heard Tokyo ask. "How did the cop even get here?"
"I think the Professor was meeting with her", Nairobi answered. "And she followed him here."
Nairobi's words struck him like a knife. Yes – yes, it was true, Elena was here only because he'd brought her here. None of this would have happened if he hadn't led her to the hangar in the first place – if he hadn't met with her – if he'd listened to Raquel. She'd warned him, over and over and over again, and he'd refused to listen, and now she was lying here. After all, Elena had said, this is my fault. Except it wasn't. It was his, and his alone. He was the one to blame. Raquel's words echoed in his head: She's a challenge and you simply can't resist that. It was true. He didn't have to contact Elena, but he hadn't seen the risk, blinded by his belief in his own cleverness. And then when she'd gotten to the hangar, he still hadn't taken her seriously, he still hadn't seen her as a threat. He heard Raquel again: Don't trust her too much, Sergio. She's dangerous. He hadn't believed it, not really. He thought he had things under control. He'd treated her as a guest.
He'd let his guard down around her, even though he knew Raquel was worried. He'd been the one to insist they didn't blindfold her. He'd been the last one to tie her hands – he must have tied her too loosely, careless because he trusted her, enabling her to get free. And then he'd left Raquel alone with her, not thinking for a moment that it might be dangerous. He realized now that he should have sent Elena away right from the start, to the backup location maybe, have her guarded by the Serbians. But on some level – he felt his stomach churn as he realized it – he'd liked having her here, he'd liked talking to her, and now… now… He looked down at Raquel's pale face on the pillow, and his heart was breaking. The doctor had said there might be nerve damage – she might never be able to use her left arm again, and if not for his stupidity, for his arrogance, she would be fine, she would be fine. So he sat on a chair beside her and he didn't sleep, he didn't eat, because the only thing that mattered was that he would be there when she woke up.
As sunlight started streaming through the windows, she finally stirred, and his heart started racing as he scooted closer to the bed.
"Sergio?" she said in a hoarse whisper, and he had to fight back tears.
"Yes", he said, his voice breaking as he gently squeezed her hand. "Yes, my love, I'm here, I'm right here."
She opened dazed eyes and looked around.
"What happened?"
"You got hurt", he said softly. "You got hurt, but you'll be alright now."
"I got hurt?"
"Yes", he said.
"I don't feel… anything…"
"That's the pain killers."
Her eyes suddenly opened wider and she tried to sit up. "Elena! She… she got away!"
"No", he soothed her, gently pushing her back down. "No, we got her, it's okay."
She went soft with relief, her eyes already half closing again as the after-effects of the anesthetic dragged her back under.
"Good", she said.
"Everything's under control", he murmured. "Sleep, my love, you need it."
"Yes", she sighed, her thumb stroking his hand. "Will you stay with me?"
"Of course I will", he said with determination. "I won't leave your side."
"Thank you", she whispered, her eyes closing. "I love you so much."
Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he watched her go back to sleep. He vaguely realized the blood loss was making him more emotional than usual, but the realization didn't make him feel any less awful. He didn't deserve her love. His arrogance, his stubbornness had brought them here, had caused a bullet to go right through her, tearing flesh and veins and sinew on the way, maybe damaging her arm permanently. She had warned him, and he hadn't listened, and how could he ever make that up to her? The guilt of it pierced him like a shard of glass, its razor-sharp edges cutting into his chest. He should have been the one to be hit by that bullet, and he would gladly have taken it for her, if only it were possible. There was a sick feeling in his stomach as he realized that, at some point, she would wake up again and realize that all of this was his fault. He buried his head in his hands. How could she ever forgive him?
…
When she next woke up, a few hours later, she seemed a little more clear-headed. She opened her eyes and gave him a weak smile, and he leaned forward eagerly.
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired", she said. "And a little dizzy."
"That's the morphine. Do you feel any pain?"
"Not that much. How much morphine am I on?"
He hesitated. "A bit."
She looked down and lightly touched her bandaged shoulder.
"How bad is it?"
"Not that bad, all things considered. The bullet went straight through your shoulder, but it didn't hit your lung or any bones. Can you… can you move your fingers?"
She looked down at her left hand and focused, then, very slowly, bent and unbent her fingers, and he felt dizzy with relief.
"Good", he said. "That means there's no serious nerve damage."
"Alright", she whispered. "I'm glad."
He got her a glass of water, then carefully helped her to sit up. She leaned heavily against the pillows, her eyes seeming even darker than usual in her pale face, and he felt such a stab of tenderness in his chest. She looked so small, so fragile. He just wanted to wrap her in his arms and protect her from harm, the way he should have protected her, the way he would protect her from now on. She was too weak to even hold the glass to her lips, so he helped her drink, then eyed her bandages critically.
"I think it's time to change them."
She nodded silently, regarding him with soft eyes as he carefully removed the bandages from her shoulder. When the last layer fell away, he inhaled sharply. The incision from the operation was neatly stitched, but around it, her entire shoulder and part of her chest was covered in vivid blue and purple bruises. On top of that, the skin around the place where the bullet had entered was burned a bright, angry red, because she'd been shot at such close range. She looked down and grimaced.
"That looks awful. I'm glad I can't feel most of it."
He got out the necessary materials, then started cleaning the area around the wound with infinite care, trying to keep his hands from trembling as he touched her. A terrible weight was settling on his shoulders, pushing him down, down, down, pressing on his lungs until he could barely breathe. He had done this to her. Her beautiful body, which he loved so much, which he knew better than he knew his own, was cut and bruised and burnt as a direct consequence of his actions, and he didn't know how to live with that. If regret could heal, her skin would instantly be smooth again, her bruises gone, her body strong again, but he knew his regret was useless to her. Still, he felt so guilty that it was suffocating him.
She was regarding him attentively, her head leaning against the pillows. After a while, she said softly:
"What's the matter?"
He swallowed hard.
"Raquel", he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
"It's okay", she said quietly.
"How can you say that?" he said, trying not to cry. "Look what I've done to you."
"You didn't do anything to me."
"Not… not directly, but this is still my fault."
"Sergio", she said, "it was an accident."
"That wouldn't have happened if Elena hadn't been here, because of me. Because I didn't listen to you!"
She shook her head. "I forgave you for that."
"You shouldn't have! Look what happened!"
She thought about it for a moment, then said: "Sergio, when I forgave you for bringing her here, that meant I also accepted any possible consequences."
"But not this…"
"Including this. I don't blame you, Sergio."
"The morphine is affecting your thoughts", he said, his throat tight. Why wasn't she yelling at him? Why wasn't she angry?
At that point, Nairobi approached them.
"Is she…" She saw Raquel and rushed to the bed, smiling broadly. "You're awake!"
"Hi Nairobi", Raquel smiled back.
"How are you?"
"I'm okay. Are you managing things?"
"Yes, me and Berlin have everything under control. Don't worry about the operation."
Nairobi glanced sideways at Sergio.
"Lisbon, can you talk some sense into this idiot, please?"
"Nairobi", Sergio said warningly, but she continued:
"He gave you a lot of blood and he hasn't eaten or slept since."
Raquel's eyes were so soft when she looked at him, and she gently touched his hand.
"My love… why?"
"I wanted to be here when you woke up."
"You could still eat, though", Nairobi said, and he turned to frown at her.
"Could you leave us, please?"
"Fine", she said with dignity. "But you drowning in self-pity won't un-shoot her."
Nairobi left, and Sergio turned back to see Raquel look at him with a soft smile.
"You gave me your blood?"
"I did", he mumbled. "It's not a big deal."
She looked at him dreamily. "That means you're a part of me now. Forever."
"Actually", he said. "All of your blood cells die and are replaced within…"
She chuckled softly. "Stop talking. You're a part of me now."
"Alright", he said, smiling down at her. "I'm a part of you."
She turned serious again. "Why haven't you eaten?"
His smile faded. "I couldn't."
"You shouldn't punish yourself."
He looked down at his hands. "I deserve it."
She didn't say anything, and when he looked back up at her, he saw tears on her cheeks.
"What's wrong?" he said, panicking. "Are you in pain?"
"No", she said, wiping away her tears with her good hand. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid emotional instability is a side effect of getting shot."
"Of course", he said, calming down a little. "Can I… can I do anything?"
"Yes", she sniffed. "Eat something."
He stared at her. "Are you crying for me?"
"You have to take care of yourself!"
"But I…"
More tears were rolling down her cheeks, and he quickly amended: "Alright, alright, I'll eat!"
"And sleep?"
"And… and sleep, yes, I'll do anything, just… just don't cry. Please."
She gave him a watery smile. "Thank you."
He looked at her, at a loss for words. How, how was she worried about him right now? He couldn't wrap his head around it.
"Raquel", he finally managed, a tremor in his voice. "You're way too good for me."
She softly tugged on his sleeve. "Come here."
He carefully sat down next to her on the edge of the bed and she stroked his hand.
"You saved my life, didn't you?"
"I wouldn't have had to save your life if I hadn't…" he started, but she shook her head.
"Stop talking", she said again. "You saved my life. That's enough to make up for any mistakes you made."
He looked at her. She was the most amazing woman in the world, and the thought that he'd almost lost her took his breath away. She squeezed his hand.
"I want a kiss", she murmured, the dreamy look back in her eyes. He knew it was the morphine, but he couldn't help but love the expression on her face as she looked at him, even though he knew fully well that he didn't deserve it. He reached out his hand and cupped her cheek, then leaned forward to brush his lips against hers with infinite tenderness. She leaned her forehead against his and whispered:
"I love you."
He was fighting back tears again. "Why?"
She smiled. "You're a part of me."
She kissed him again, then said: "But I'm very tired."
"You should sleep", he said quickly, getting up and helping her to lie down again.
"Promise me you'll eat and sleep", she murmured, her eyes closing.
"I promise", he said firmly.
Once she was asleep, he sat down to look at her. Her words had soothed the crushing feeling of guilt in his chest a little, just enough to lift the nausea he'd been feeling. He finally ate the sandwich Nairobi had given him hours ago, looking thoughtfully at Raquel's sleeping face as he did so. He wished he could do something to make this up to her somehow. He knew he could never undo what had happened, but wasn't there anything he could do for her? Suddenly, an idea struck him. Yes – yes – he wasn't sure if it would work, but he could at least try. He got up and walked towards the desk.
Nairobi seemed to have taken over things on this side of the operation. Thankfully, Angel and his team were still in Toledo, so there hadn't been any calls from the command center yet. Nairobi was manning the screens and keeping an eye on Elena, who was sitting next to her, her usual ropes replaced by iron chains and a padlock. Upon seeing Elena, Sergio felt such a visceral reaction of mixed emotions – anger, shame, guilt – that he had to stop and take a breath. Elena looked up and saw him.
"How is she?" she asked immediately.
"She'll be okay", he said carefully, coming closer. She saw him eyeing her chains and grimaced.
"Nairobi thought this was safer than rope."
"I'm not taking any more risks", Nairobi said drily, her eyes on the screens.
"How did you get free?" Sergio asked.
Elena nodded over at the fence, where a small pile of ropes was still lying. "There was a sharp piece of wire so I cut through my ties."
Sergio felt a rush of relief. That meant it hadn't been his own fault.
"And what… what happened exactly? When you got free?"
"I waited until you were all gone", she said. "Then I managed to get hold of Raquel's gun. There was a struggle, and it went off."
"You didn't shoot her?"
"No", Elena said emphatically. "No, I would never. I never meant to hurt her. It was an accident."
He felt his anger at her lessen slightly. Then Nairobi said:
"You shouldn't stand here talking, Profe, you should sleep."
"I will", he said. "In a minute. I just need to do something first."
"What?"
"Call the Mint", he asked her. "Ask Rio to come over. I want to talk to him."
…
Day 9
She woke up in the early morning, feeling weak and slightly dizzy, but more alert than yesterday. She turned her head on her pillow and smiled as she saw Sergio, asleep on the floor next to her. Thank god he was keeping his promise, she didn't have the strength to fight him right now. The morphine made her drift in and out of sleep throughout the morning, and usually he was by her side, helping her sit up to drink and eat small quantities of food, and very carefully gathering her up in his arms to carry her to the bathroom. Between naps, she noticed that he was often at the desk, sometimes on the phone with Angel, who had returned from Toledo, and often talking to Rio, who seemed to have taken over the screens. When she asked him about it, he told her Rio was working on something, but it was nothing she should worry about.
Around noon, she'd had enough of feeling dizzy and tired all the time, so she asked him to reduce the dose of morphine she was getting.
He hesitated. "Are you sure? It will hurt."
"Just for a few hours", she said. "I want to be able to think straight again."
He fiddled with her IV.
"It will take a few hours before the effects wear off, though. You should try to get some more sleep until then."
When she woke up again two hours later, there was a throbbing ache in her shoulder, and she groaned as she opened her eyes. He was immediately at her side.
"Are you okay? Should I turn up the morphine again?"
"No", she said, gritting her teeth as he helped her sit up against the pillows. "I finally feel like my head isn't full of cotton wool anymore. I can deal with the pain for a few hours if I get some clarity in return."
"Alright", he said apprehensively. "But not too long."
She took a deep breath. "Tell me again what the bullet did, I only half remember what you told me yesterday."
He told her, and she frowned.
"If the bullet hit my artery, then how did I survive? Did you get back right after I got hit?"
"No", he admitted, explaining how Elena had turned back to stop her from bleeding out.
She was silent for a while, considering this, then said:
"I want to talk to her."
"What?" he said, alarmed. "No, no way!"
"I want to talk to her, Sergio."
"She's not coming anywhere near you ever again!"
"Sergio", she said sternly. "She saved my life. I want to talk to her."
"If she hadn't caused you to get shot in the first place, she wouldn't have had to save your life!"
"But she didn't actually shoot me, I was the one to grab at that gun."
"Still. You need to rest."
"Then don't make me argue", she reasoned. "And just go get her."
He grumbled a bit more, then got up and returned a minute later with Elena, whose hands were chained behind her back.
Elena gave her a tentative look. "How are you, Raquel?"
In a flash, Raquel was back there, Elena's voice ringing in her ears. Raquel, don't! Her body shuddered as the bullet hit her all over again, blazing its way through her shoulder, making her stagger, fall to her knees. The burning… the blood… the darkness…
"Raquel!"
The blood… the blood…
"Raquel!"
She felt like she was surfacing from water as she took a deep breath and snapped back to the present, looking into Sergio's worried eyes as he was holding her face.
"Raquel, what's wrong?"
"I… I felt…"
"It's trauma", Elena said from where she was standing in the middle of the room. "PTSD. I've seen it before in shooting victims."
Elena's voice… Raquel, don't! The bullet ripping through her, the burning, the blood…
"Why now?" Sergio asked.
"I'm triggering the memory", Elena said. "I should go."
Raquel firmly shook her head in an attempt to push away the crowding memories.
"No, let her stay."
"She's causing you distress, Raquel, I'm going to take her back to…"
She took his wrist as he was getting off the bed.
"Sergio. Let her stay."
He sat back down, taking her hand and leaning in close to her.
"My love, you're not strong yet, don't put yourself through this."
"I want to talk to her."
"Why?"
She cast around for the words. "Because… because I feel like… if I don't deal with this now, I might be stuck with it later. What's the next thing that will trigger the memory? Loud noises? The sight of a gun? It… it has to lose its power, somehow. Let me talk to her."
He hesitated. "Will you tell me the second it gets too much?"
"I will."
"Alright then…"
He moved to the foot of the bed, keeping his hand on her knee, and motioned for Elena to come sit on the chair next to the bed. She sat down carefully.
"How are you feeling, Raquel?"
Raquel, don't! A deafening bang echoed in her ears, her nostrils filled with the smell of gunpowder, the pain, the blood…
"This isn't good for her!" Sergio said urgently.
"Wait!" Elena said. "Wait…"
Her shoulder burning, burning, burning…
"Raquel", Elena said calmly. "You're experiencing a flashback. It's only a memory. It's in the past, and you survived it."
Blood pouring down her chest. Her chest felt tight, painfully tight.
"Breathe", Elena said. "You're not breathing. Deep breath in. Deep breath out."
She gasped in a breath and the tight feeling lessened immediately.
"That's it. Now let's get you back here. Look down, what's the color of your blanket? Do you feel the bed beneath you? Do you hear Nairobi talking to Rio? Do you smell… well, the damp of this place?"
The burning sensation in her shoulder receded as she focused on her senses, anchoring herself in the present again.
"Go sit next to her", she heard Elena say to Sergio. "Make her feel protected."
The next moment, he was beside her, and she leaned against him with her good side and put her head on his shoulder. He couldn't wrap his arm around her shoulders, so he carefully wrapped it around her waist.
"I'm here", he murmured gently. "You're safe. You're safe."
She closed her eyes and relaxed against him.
"Better?" Elena asked.
"Yes", she sighed. "Much better."
"That was very brave of you", Sergio said softly, turning his head and kissing her hair.
"Yes", Elena agreed. "Now, can you look at me?"
Raquel opened her eyes and looked at Elena, noticing that she was wearing some of her own clothes. She realized Elena's clothes probably got covered in blood...
The blood… the blood…
"Keep breathing, my love", Sergio reminded her in a whisper, and she pulled herself back from the memory with an effort.
"I'm sorry about what happened", Elena said softly. "I never meant for you to get hurt."
Raquel, once I get out of here… run, okay?
"You told me to run", Raquel said quietly.
Elena looked a little embarrassed. "Yes, I did."
Raquel gave her a weak smile. "I thought you were going to arrest me?"
"Well", Elena said, squaring her shoulders. "I am. Maybe just… not right now."
Raquel chuckled softly, then tried to pull herself together. Sergio's arm tightened around her waist, and she drew strength from that. She took a deep breath and said:
"Who's taking care of you, Elena?"
"Nairobi."
"Have you eaten? Have you slept?"
"Yes, I have", Elena said. "Raquel, you shouldn't worry about me. In fact, you should be angry at me. Why aren't you angry?"
Stay with me! Stay with me, okay?
"You saved my life", Raquel said quietly. "You could have run, but you didn't."
"You thought I'd just let you die?"
The darkness, pulling her under… But she looked up into Elena's eyes, so calm, so earnest. I never meant for you to get hurt. The darkness receded.
"You could have", Raquel said. "We're on opposite sides, after all. Saving me cost you your freedom, and an arrest like that would have made your career."
"My career will be fine", Elena said drily. "It isn't worth your life."
Elena hadn't actually hurt her. It had been an accident. Accidents happened.
Raquel turned her face to breathe in Sergio's smell. Then she turned back to Elena and lifted one corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry I thwarted your escape."
Elena heaved a dramatic sigh. "It's fine. I suppose I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that you'll get away with his." She hesitated, then said: "I'm… I'm just glad you're okay."
Raquel regarded her for a moment, then said: "You're a good person, Elena."
Elena shook her head. "Anyone would have done the same."
"No", Raquel said. "You know that's not true."
Elena looked away, embarrassed. Beside her, Sergio bent his head closer to hers.
"How are the flashbacks?"
"Gone", she said, sighing with relief.
"Good", Elena said. "Do you want to try the next step?"
"Yes", Raquel said.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Elena said.
"You don't have to", Sergio said immediately, but Elena frowned at him.
"Let her try."
"Yes", Raquel said firmly. "You took my gun and I grabbed at it. My… my fingers hit the trigger. It… went off and… I got hit."
It felt good to say the words, and she felt herself detach from the memory as she was speaking about it.
"Good", Elena said. "And then?"
"You ran", Raquel said. "But then you came back and you saved my life. And now here we are."
"Yes", Elena said. "Here we are."
The two women looked at each other, and for a moment, Raquel saw Elena with the gun overlap with Elena sitting in front of her, but then the image faded. It was just a memory. It couldn't hurt her anymore.
"How are you feeling?" Sergio murmured beside her.
She took a deep breath and lifted her head. "I'm okay."
"Yes", Elena nodded with a slight smile. "You're going to be fine."
…
Day 10
By the next day, Raquel was well enough for the IV to be removed from her arm so she could start taking a lower dose of morphine orally. Her shoulder hurt, of course, but the pain was manageable, and she spent the morning upright in bed. Sergio was constantly at her side, asking her if she needed anything, bringing her food and water and medication as needed. She could see that he still felt guilty, but she thought it would fade over time, so she let it be. After breakfast, she decided she was strong enough to walk to the bathroom by herself, so Sergio supported her as she got out of bed, swaying just a little, and he carefully held her arm, ready to catch her if she should fall as she crossed the hangar on weak legs. Around mid-morning, he told her he had to leave for a few hours, but he wouldn't tell her where he was going. When she got upset, he quickly sat down and took her hand.
"I just don't know how it will turn out. I'll tell you later, when I'm more sure of the outcome. I promise it's nothing dangerous, though, I promise. You don't have to worry."
She wiped a tear from her cheek. "Okay."
"Are you going to be alright?"
"Yes", she said firmly, wiping away another tear. "I just wish every little thing didn't make me cry."
"That's normal", he said gently. "You've been through a terrible ordeal, it's going to take you a while to recover in every way."
"Yes", she nodded. "You're right."
While he was gone, Elena held her company, and they had a good time talking about the cases they'd worked on. When Sergio returned a few hours later, they were enthusiastically comparing war stories, and they continued talking as he joined them around the bed. Raquel noticed that Sergio looked rather subdued, so after a while, she asked him to take Elena back to the other side of the hangar. It took him a while to return, and she could hear him talking softly to Elena, but she couldn't understand what they were saying. It made her a little uneasy, but she decided not to ask him about it as he returned.
"So where have you been?" she asked him as he sat back down next to the bed.
"I'm not sure you should know yet."
"Just tell me", she prompted him. "If something's going wrong with the operation, I want to know."
"No, it has nothing to do with the operation."
She smiled. "Is it a surprise?"
He hesitated. "Of sorts."
She was really curious now. "Come on, tell me."
"I'm just not sure yet how it will turn out."
"You know", she teased him. "You shouldn't dangle a secret in front of me like that. I'm very hurt, I'm sure this kind of excitement isn't good for me."
He didn't smile as he sat down next to the bed. "You're right. I'll tell you if you want to know."
Her smile faded. "I was just teasing you. What's wrong?"
He gave her a look she couldn't interpret.
"Do you miss it?"
"Do I miss what?"
"Your job. You… you seemed really happy when you were talking to Elena about it."
"Well", she said slowly, "it was stressful and difficult and it took me away from Paula too often for my liking, but… yes, I do miss it."
He nodded. "I thought so."
"Why are you asking?"
He hesitated, then just shook his head, and she let it go.
…
That evening, as they sat talking, he seemed nervous and preoccupied. He kept checking his phone, until finally he nodded.
"I think we should watch the news", he said.
"The news?" she said, mystified. "Why?"
"You'll see", he said, and turned his phone so they could watch it.
On the screen, a news anchor was visible, looking into the camera.
"New evidence has come to light in the high-profile case of ex-Inspector Raquel Murillo of the Madrid police, who was convicted six months ago of corruption and kidnapped on her way to prison."
Raquel's eyebrows went up. What the hell?
The anchor continued: "In a bizarre turn of events, Alberto Vicuña, Murillo's ex-husband, was arrested today for stealing evidence and planting it in the house of his ex-wife."
On the screen, images were shown of Alberto, in handcuffs, being led to a police car.
"If convicted, Vicuña faces up to ten years in prison."
Raquel could only stare at the screen in disbelief. This couldn't be true. She must be dreaming. She looked up at Sergio to see him give her a slight smile.
"You… did you do this?" she whispered.
"Yes", he said.
"But… but how?"
"You told me the cameras in the evidence room were hacked by an outside source that couldn't be traced. I got Rio to investigate, and it turned out that actually, the cameras were hacked into from within the police IT department. We followed the trace to a guy named Mario, and this morning I paid Mario a visit, together with some of my associates. Turns out your ex-husband gave him a big bribe, but he still had the original footage of Alberto taking those drugs from the evidence room, and he was willing to hand it over… for a price, of course."
Raquel was listening to him with wide eyes.
"I turned the evidence in to the police. I'm glad to see they acted on it so quickly."
"I can't believe you did that", she said quietly.
A hard look appeared in his eyes. "He hurt you, Raquel. I wasn't about to let him get away with that if I could help it."
She blinked away the tears which were still right at the surface, ready to overflow at the least provocation. Alberto… arrested. Going to trial. Probably going to prison. Justice. She still couldn't believe it. Justice, and it was all thanks to Sergio. She looked up to thank him, only to see him looking at her with a very strange expression.
"What?" she said.
He hesitated, then seemed to steel himself and said softly:
"You know what this means, Raquel?"
"What?"
"It means… it means you'll be cleared of all charges. Your conviction will be repealed, your prison sentence will disappear. You'll be a free woman again."
She laughed. "Except I've committed about a million actual crimes in the meantime."
He remained entirely serious. "Nobody knows that, though, except for Elena. I talked to her, and she's agreed not to reveal your part in this operation. She'll testify that you were held here as a prisoner."
Raquel felt herself go cold.
"Sergio… what are you saying?"
He took a deep breath. "I'm offering you a way out. You don't have to live this life anymore, always hiding, always running the risk of getting caught. You… you can return to your old life, to your house, your family, your friends. Your job. You would have a normal life again. You would be safe."
Her lips were trembling. "Are you serious?"
He looked down at his hands. "Yes."
"But… but I love you."
He kept looking down. "Look what happened to you, Raquel. You'd be safer without me. If you stay with me, you'll always be a fugitive, you'll always be in danger. So… so you're free to go if you want to."
Her insecurities suddenly rose up again in full force, and this time she didn't have the emotional strength to push them away. She had to ask him.
"Do you want me to go back to my old life?"
He looked up sharply. "What? No, of course not!"
"You can tell me if you do", she said, her voice shaking. "I don't want you to feel obligated just because we said we would…"
"What are you talking about?" he said, looking completely lost.
"I'd understand if you'd prefer to be alone again, or… or with someone else?"
He looked at her in horror. "Why would you think that?"
Suddenly her eyes spilled over and tears started streaming down her cheeks.
"We're so different, Sergio. What if we start a life together and you get bored of me?"
He was staring at her. "That's… that's absurd, Raquel."
"Wouldn't you be happier with someone who's more like you? Someone… someone like Elena?"
He couldn't look more astonished. "Elena?"
"You love talking to her", she whispered.
"Wait", he said, shaking his head in confusion. "Wait, you think I'd prefer Elena over you?"
"Maybe not right now…" she said. "But… but in the long term."
"No!" he said vehemently. "Not now, not ever, Raquel, how could you think that?"
"You're so similar. She challenges you."
"You challenge me too!" he said, leaning forward and taking her hand. "You're so smart and fierce and amazing. But more importantly, you complete me. You're kind and sweet and generous and loving. With Elena, I can only be the Professor – intellectual and satisfying in a way, yes, but also arrogant, stubborn, and cold. She… she brings out the worst in me. But you", he said softly, looking into her eyes. "You make me a better man. With you I can be… I can be Sergio, and for the first time in my life, I want to be. You… you made me find myself, Raquel. You made me feel truly alive for the first time."
"I'm just afraid I might not be enough for you", she whispered. "I'm afraid one day you'll leave me."
He looked at her for a long moment, seeming at a loss for words. Then he said softly:
"I've had a lot of time to think while you were asleep, Raquel. And… and almost losing you made me think. About how important you are in my life. About how much you mean to me."
He hesitated. "I'm… I'm not really good with words. I don't know… how to talk about what I feel." Then he squared his shoulders. "But I want to try. Because… because you deserve to hear it. From what you're telling me now, you clearly don't know how I feel about you. You almost died not knowing, and that's not right."
She looked at him with wide eyes, wondering what was coming. He took a deep breath and looked up at her with such an earnest look in his eyes.
"I'm not sure I can really explain how I feel, Raquel. It's… inexpressible. What words could possibly be enough? How can I tell you what I feel when I look at you? When you touch me? When you smile at me? And most of all: how can I say what I feel when… when you tell me that you love me? That you still love me, in spite of my flaws, in spite of my faults, in spite of everything. Raquel, I've… I've let you down, I've disappointed you, I've hurt you in every possible way, and yet you're still here. What can I say to that? How can I tell you how grateful I am for every second with you? How proud I am to call you mine? How much I want to be a better man, to be worthy of you, of your love? I can't… I can't say it, but that doesn't mean I don't feel it. Because I do. I feel it so much. You know, I… I don't deserve you. I'll never deserve you. But I want to try, every day of my life, to get a little closer to deserving you. "
She felt a warm glow in her chest at his words, but he wasn't done.
"You know you're my first love. I never understood it before. I didn't understand how one person could become so important to someone. But I understand it now, because… because you are my… my best friend and… and my family and also my partner and the love of my life, and… and so much more."
He shook his head. "So if you think that I would ever leave you… that I could ever leave you, you don't understand what you are to me. Raquel", he said softly, "you are everything to me. Everything. My love, my soul, my life. You are… the very heart of me. How could I live without my heart?"
There were tears on her cheeks again, but for an entirely different reason now. He reached out a hand and gently wiped them away.
"I'm a part of you now, right?" he murmured.
"Yes", she whispered.
"Well, you're a part of me too. The most important part, the best part. The part I can't live without. For… for a moment I thought I'd lose you, and it was unbearable."
"Then why did you offer to let me go back to my old life?"
He gazed at her earnestly. "Because your happiness is the most important thing to me. I don't matter, as long as you would be happy."
"I could never be happy without you", she whispered.
"Then what in the world", he murmured back at her, "makes you think I could be happy without you?"
She pulled him onto the bed with her, shifting over to make room for him, and he lay down beside her and cradled her carefully in his arms. She pressed her face against his chest, and it felt so good to be held by him, so good to finally be sure about their future together, that she couldn't stop crying. He let her, gently stroking her hair and murmuring sweet things to her until she felt like her heart would burst.
"I'm so sorry, Raquel", he whispered. "I'm sorry for not listening to you when you warned me about Elena. I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't enough. I'm sorry for not seeing how you felt. And I'm so, so sorry that it took you getting shot for me to tell you how much you really mean to me."
Her tears were finally stopping, and she sighed deeply as she relaxed against him.
"Can you forgive me?"
"Yes", she whispered.
"Then I'm the luckiest man in the world."
She looked up to smile at him, and he bent his head and pressed his lips against hers in the softest kiss. He did it again, and again, and again, his kisses so sweet she wished he would never stop. Then he tenderly kissed her cheeks, her forehead, and the very tip of her nose. Finally he brushed his lips against her closed eyelids, kissing the last of her tears away. They leaned their foreheads together and lay in silence for a while, just breathing each other in.
She opened her eyes to look at him.
"You and me?" she murmured.
He gazed back at her with the softest look.
"Of course", he said. "Of course, my love. You and me. Always."
He gently pulled her closer, his arms wrapped around her, and she felt so soft and warm and happy. He made her feel so treasured. He made her feel so safe. He held her like he would never let her go again, and she cuddled up to him and finally allowed herself to believe in forever.