There was a blaring alarm that exploded into action and startled me from my thoughts. An orange light from underneath the door caught my attention and I bolted to a standing position to rush out of the room. The hall was filled with the flashing of the orange lights and the sharp tones of the alarm was almost deafening. I couldn't decide whether this was a good or bad sign as I assessed that it could be triggered by the bunker doors opening if they had finished the transplants. My mind filled with the image of the citizens of the mountain stepping out into the open air, leaving the bodies of our people in a heap and I broke into a run. I was several levels from five where the dorms were and I understood that danger could be lurking around any corner but I was beyond any rational thought processes. The only thing that I could focus my frantic mind on was the overpowering desire to reach the dorms at any cost.
I ran through several floors and crossed the length of each level in search of the next staircase in a distracted blur. The constant pulsing sound of the alarm pushed me forward and my legs shook with panic. I felt adrenaline surging through me and it overrode the heavy tiredness from earlier. I turned the corner into a long hallway and was disoriented by the flashing of the lights, causing me to barely register the movement at the other end. The distracting sound of the alarms almost completely masked the crack of the gunshot and I leapt to the side a second too late. I felt a jolt of pain in my side as the bullet scraped me and I was struck with fright as I realised how close I had been to death.
I sprinted toward the guard as he frantically hit the side of the pistol and I prayed that it would remain jammed for long enough for me to reach him. There were barely a few steps remaining between us when I heard the click that signalled it was ready to fire again and as he pointed the gun at me, I pummelled into him. The force that I was able to muster was far larger than usual due to the adrenaline and I slogged him in the face with an unnecessary brutality. He struggled against my grip and I had to use my legs to anchor myself against him. In a rapid manoeuvre he used my weight against me as he struck me in the face and I rolled onto my back with a thump. He frenziedly stretched out for the gun that had been knocked from his grip in the collision and I kicked my legs to block him.
The shift in posture caused his body to press on me as we fought for our lives. His weight pinned me in position and I was unable to reach anything to defend myself with. He finally managed to snatch the gun from my side and I gulped in dread. I cried out as I squirmed desperately beneath him in a vain effort to prevent him from aiming efficiently and although it slowed his movements, I knew that I was only buying time. His hand approached my head despite my best efforts and in a last manic bid to survive, I lifted my shoulders to lean forward and bite him with as much ferocity as I could manage. As my teeth sunk into his arm, he cried out in pain and dropped the gun. I didn't waste a single second in seeking out my boot and grasped the last knife that I had hidden in there tightly. I plunged it into his chest with a scream and pulled it out only to repeat the action several times over until he collapsed lifelessly onto me.
I laid back on the floor, panting as I tried to recover from what I'd just done and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. My legs shook dramatically and I could feel my blood rushing to my head. I worried that I might collapse as my body trembled and I tried to refocus on my goal even as I felt too weak to move. The alarm seemed to have gotten fainter and I was sure that I heard a voice calling out between the pulsating sounds. I forced myself to an unsteady standing position and dusted myself off as I strained to listen.
"Indigo!" My stomach lurched as I made out the muffled call of my name in the distance and I turned to face both directions in an effort to place the sound. It was impossible to tell if I'd even truly heard it between the overpowering honk of the alarm and I started to wonder if I'd simply imagined it.
"Indigo!" The voice became frantic as it rang out again and I felt all of the colour drain from my face as a pang of familiarity gripped my chest in response.
"Bellamy?" I whispered and even as the word left my lips I was hardly able to believe what I was saying. I felt foolish for even considering it but I knew his voice better than I knew my own. I took a few slow steps forward and felt as if I was in a trance. I'd heard Bellamy's voice in my head several times since I'd been trapped here but this seemed different and I couldn't resist the overpowering urge to follow it.
"Bellamy, is that you?" I cleared my throat and called back lightly, almost frightened to speak too loudly. A few seconds passed without a response and I waited with a growing anxiety. Although I knew that he had been alive and within the mountain for hours according to the report of others, I hadn't been able to truly comprehend the weight of this information. I'd been making choices based on the idea that he might need my help, but I hadn't allowed myself to develop any significant hope that it was true. At any time I'd started to believe that I may have the chance to see him again, I quashed it by reminding myself of the odds of his survival.
"Indigo! Where are you?!" The voice grew panicked, even desperate and I began to struggle to tell myself that it wasn't him with any conviction. I jogged toward the next stairwell in a daze and took myself a level closer to five. I emerged on the next floor and navigated through the identical hallways with difficulty. My mind was racing as I hoped for him to call out again and I was too afraid to shout first in fear that I had imagined it. I got disoriented after turning several corners and I realised that I may have turned myself around in my hazy lack of concentration.
"Indigo!" I heard his voice much clearer with his next call and my heart leapt into my throat. It sounded close now and my eyes immediately filled with tears at this thought. I quickened my pace as I broke into a run through the halls, unable to remember where I was supposed to be going any longer. I couldn't think about anything but reaching the source of the voice as Bellamy's face flashed through my consciousness.
"Bellamy!" I called back for the first time in a firm, hopeful way and I was sure that I could hear rapid footsteps approaching. I touched the wall as I zipped around a corner in an effort to throw myself around it faster and I had no attention remaining on my surroundings.
"INDIGO!" He bellowed back and his voice seemed to have reached a frenzied point now that he'd heard me respond. I hurtled around the next corner, unsure if I was getting any closer or if he'd just been louder in his urgency. I was panting as I forced myself to keep moving and searched for him. I turned into a painfully long hallway and I caught a glimpse of movement at the far end as something passed the entrance. I registered the telltale black mop of hair, the brown and white guards uniform that the others had reported him to be wearing and I knew from the large stature exactly who I'd just seen. For a moment, I thought I had seen a ghost and I found myself wondering if I'd finally cracked under the emotional strain.
"BELLAMY!" I screeched as I paused on the spot in disbelief. I heard the pounding of boots before he appeared at the end of the hall. We stood for a fleeting few moments, staring back at each other doubtfully before he broke into a run again.
I fell into a sprint as I tore forward with a desperation that I couldn't control and there were already tears escaping me at just the sight of him. He looked exhausted, even from a distance and the moment was made more surreal by seeing him wearing the uniform of the Mount Weather guards. Although we were both moving as quickly as we could carry ourselves, it felt as if time slowed as we charged at each other. I was almost crushed under the weight of my relief and I found myself no longer caring if this were a hallucination. Whatever it was that allowed me to see him in front of me, I was thankful for it.
I could hardly breathe as I took the last few steps and his arms were wide open to me. I practically launched myself at him as we collided and he lifted me into his grip. I felt such a sense of elation at his embrace that it made me feel almost completely weightless as my feet left the ground. I clung to him with a vice like force as my arms closed around his shoulders and his fell to my waist. No amount of willpower could prevent the tears from streaming down my cheeks and I knew that I was likely soaking his shirt but I couldn't bring myself to care. I prayed that the moment would never end as I felt the familiar safety in his arms that I had craved almost every second since I saw him last. I slowly became aware of the hole in my chest gradually shrinking with every overjoyed heartbeat. He moved one of his hands from my waist to the back of my head to stroke my hair gently. He sniffed lightly beside my ear and I knew that he was battling his emotions too.
After what seemed like an eternity of holding each other, I felt myself returning to the ground as he lowered me and my boots touched the floor so gently that it was obvious he was savouring every moment too. He pulled away from me with a painful reluctance and although he stepped back to view me, he kept his hands on my arms to stop me from moving out of his reach. I gazed up at him in amazement, drinking up every detail of how he looked with a feeling of disbelief.
"This can't be happening." I breathed and he furrowed his brow at me. "You died!" I whispered and my voice cracked as I spoke. I quickly wiped the tears away so that I could still see him clearly, not wanting to take my eyes off him for a single moment. His resolve broke as he looked down at me through watery eyes.
"I thought I'd lost you." He muttered under his breath as he viewed me with such a pained expression that it only fueled my doubt in this reality. Although losing him had been soul destroying for me and our time apart had allowed me to realise the depth of my feelings for him, I never anticipated that he would struggle without me. I started to feel as if I couldn't trust what I was seeing and I craved some reassurance that would allow me to enjoy the moment for what it was.
"A-are you real?" I asked in a small, weak voice and I watched as his expression changed to one of deep concern. I couldn't help my doubts; as much as I wanted to believe in him, I knew that my mind had been unreliable for a while now.
"Of course I'm real." He answered as he moved to examine me in an analytical way. It seemed as if he were checking me for any signs of injury, or perhaps something that would reveal brainwashing and I smiled fondly at his worry. "Are you okay? Did they do something to you?" He asked as he met my eyes again. I reached up to take his face in my hands as I fixed him with a scrutinising look and I felt my brows knit together.
"Do you promise? You're really here?" I croaked as the tears poured out and I waited for the doubt to leave me. I yearned to trust what I was seeing, I wanted to believe that he was here with my entire soul but I couldn't push away the niggling doubt. My eyes roamed over the familiar details of his face as I cupped it in my hands and he met my eyes with an understanding look.
"I'm here Indigo." He asserted and spoke in a firm tone as he battled to reassure me. "I'm here with you, I promise." He expressed with sympathy, as if he finally comprehended the gravity of his arrival here for me and I felt my heart skip a beat.
I traced my fingers along his strong jaw as I re-familiarised myself with him and he leaned keenly into my touch. I gazed at him in wonder, watching his scruffy hair fall in front of his eyes, taking in every freckle that was perfectly scattered across his dewy skin and my breath hitched as he bit his lip, drawing my attention to his mouth. I felt a warmth spreading from my chest as I was transfixed by him and I sensed the incredible pull between us urging me forward.
I moved closer as if magnetized to him and I forced myself to meet his eyes again. I was hyper aware of every part where our bodies met and I gained a foreign hunger that craved to be tangled up with him. I got the sensation that gravity grew heavier around us as I stared into the hypnotising brown of his eyes and I was struck by the depth of the desire that I found there. I became aware of the intense regret that I'd been living with since I first woke in Mount Weather still watching from the back of my mind and it gave me the reminder I needed to seize the chance before it was too late again. He opened his mouth to speak but I pulled him to me with both hands as I flung any last residual hesitance from my mind.
All words were lost as our lips collided and although I was driven by an all consuming need for him, I kept enough control to kiss him softly. In the moment that we touched, everything seemed to become more vivid and any thought of this being a hallucination abandoned me as I drowned in the detail of the moment. I could feel the warmth of his skin, smell his earthy scent that I'd tried to recreate in my mind countless times and felt his gentle breaths on my cheek. There was the sensation of completion in my chest, as if some long lost part of me finally returned home as I wound my fingers into his soft curls and my lips moved against his delicately, like butterfly wings.
It was clear that I'd caught him by surprise with my boldness and he took a sharp breath as if the reality of our contact was just breaking through his shock. He surged forward as his arms circled me, gathering me against him and we touched at every point as he pressed us together. He groaned softly, low in his throat as he deepened the kiss and his hand caressed my back on its journey up to grasp my hair. His other arm stayed tightly around my waist and I threw an arm over his shoulders for stability as I balanced on my tiptoes.
Our lips moved in perfect sync and every fresh connection of them made my heart hammer slightly harder. He kissed me like I'd never realised I wanted to be kissed and I was almost completely bowled over by a rush of exhilaration that thrummed through my entire body. I clung to his hair to brace myself as the world seemed to spin around us and I felt myself becoming lost in him. The heat rose to my cheeks as his tongue touched mine and the sensation was like being struck with lightning as electricity crackled between us. The kiss blew any other thoughts from my mind, shutting my over analyzing brain down at last and it was so addictive that I lost track of my other basic needs.
We broke apart reluctantly to gasp for air and he left me panting. He smiled down at me with a look of fascination as his chest rose and fell heavily and I couldn't see anything but him in my state of bliss. I had wondered for longer than I could ever openly admit what it would be like to experience his lips on mine, but the reality was utterly world changing. As we soaked in each other's presence during the aftermath, everything seemed strangely like it was meant to be. We fit together, like finally finding the right key for a lock and I stared at him with a contentment I never expected to be able to feel. We still clung to each other as I waited for my lungs to recover and my heartbeat to normalise and I was glad to see that he looked as blown away as I felt. I noticed the alarm still blaring in the background as my attention returned slowly to our surroundings and he glanced over his shoulder with a regretful look.
"We should meet the others, they'll be worried about you." He stated in a reluctant tone as he explored me. He took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. "Come on, I've done plenty of poking around, I know this place pretty well by now." He smiled as he tugged on me and we fell into step comfortably with his grip on my hand tightening as if he needed to reassure himself that I wasn't going anywhere.
"Are the others alright? What happened?" I asked as my focus returned and the panic over my other loved ones hit me with a fresh wave.
"We lost some people but most of them are still kicking. We released the radiation...we had no other choice. Jasper's pretty broken up over Maya, but he's alive. Monty and Raven are with the others-" He started to explain but I cut him off with confusion.
"Raven's alive?" I interrogated with a gasp as I studied him and he smiled as he continued to navigate me through the halls.
"Yeah, Abby patched her up. She got captured trying to help with the rescue but she made it." He confirmed as he met my eyes with a hint of disbelief. "You were really in the dark here, huh?" He suggested as I stared at him with wide eyes and I wondered what else I'd missed whilst captive here. I knew immediately what I needed to ask next but I was terrified that my luck was about to run out. I took a deep breath to steel myself for the answer.
"What about Octavia? Miller said she was hurt during the fight at camp?" I queried in a small, worried voice and he squeezed my hand reassuringly.
"She was, but Lincoln got her out before the dropship launched. She's actually pretty much becoming a grounder now, would you believe?" He chuckled lightly and I could barely comprehend his words. "We'd better hurry, she's looking for you too." He added as he tried to pull me forward but I stopped in my tracks as the information registered in my mind. He turned back to view me with concern and I felt the colour drain from my face in shock. I pictured Octavia in my mind, reflecting on the agonising grief and soul destroying guilt that I had felt every time I thought of her until now and I started to believe that I might have misheard him out of hope.
"Did...did you just say Octavia is here?" I stuttered and he stepped closer to take both of my hands in his. He observed me closely with an intense compassion and I felt reassured just having him there.
"She's alive and she's here. I don't know what they've been telling you here, but we're okay Indie." He smiled at me as he stared into my eyes and made his best attempt to convince me. "We split up to search for you as soon as we realised you weren't in the dorms. No one had seen you being operated on, so I knew you were probably still causing trouble somewhere. She's going to be so glad to see you, though not as glad as me." He explained before smiling down at me fondly. I felt fresh tears running down my cheeks as relief washed over me and I wiped them away in an effort to hold myself together. He released one of my hands to return to my side and tugged to encourage me to move. I took a step to follow his lead but I winced as a shooting pain in my side caused me to pause on the spot. He was immediately in front of me and his brows furrowed as he examined me. "What is it?" He asked in a frantic voice and I batted him away.
"I'm fine, it's just a scrape. I literally dodged a bullet earlier." I explained in a light tone as I smiled at him and he raised a brow at me. "Now that you say it, he must have been one of the guards who had the transplant, he didn't seem to be affected by the radiation. I don't feel so bad about killing him now." I added and Bellamy chuckled under his breath. I pushed forward and dragged him along with me by his hand. He was initially reluctant but he tore his attention away from me to direct us as I spoke. I felt myself becoming light headed but tried to ignore it as I focused on reaching the dorms. "Anyway, we don't want to keep Tavi waiting, she's probably already going to be pissed at me for making her worry." I joked despite the heavy emotions that I was carrying and I felt that I needed the distraction as my body grew heavier. Bellamy glanced over at me in an assessing manner and cleared his throat in an effort to cover his worry.
"I recognise that jacket." He commented with a sly smile as he glanced at the oversized jacket that I was wrapped in and I felt my face flush slightly as I considered my dependence on it. My behaviour seemed insane now that I knew they had survived the fight at camp and I felt awkward explaining it, even if I knew that he would be understanding.
"Jasper picked it up for me after the dropship launched." I explained as I purposefully withheld all of the intricate details about how it had been holding my fragile sanity in place. I definitely wasn't ready to reveal the state that I'd been in and couldn't consider how I would address this right now.
"That would explain why I couldn't find it back at camp." He grinned as he playfully winked at me and I felt my heart flip at the action.
"I was keeping it warm for you." I teased and enjoyed being able to share light conversation with him again. It almost felt as if the last three weeks hadn't happened and for a few peaceful minutes, all of our combined sins faded into background noise. I sighed in contentment as I shuffled along, hand in hand with him. "Besides, I had to give you a reason to look for me." I added in the hope that I sounded teasing rather than vulnerable.
"I'll always look for you." He replied firmly and I squirmed uncomfortably. It still felt surreal to even be here with him and hearing him speak so honestly and tenderly to me only added to the feeling. I considered that perhaps losing me to the mountain had caused the same regret and self reflection in him that it had in me, but the thought felt arrogant and I pushed it away to deal with later. I felt a sharp stab of pain in my side that caused me to hiss and double over. He stepped in front of me to block me from walking any further and then helped me to straighten up.
"Okay that's enough, let me take a look." He insisted as he pushed aside the jacket to view the area that I'd been holding. His eyes widened as his hands reached my side and he peaked at me in horror. "Indie, I don't know why you think you have super powers all of a sudden, but you didn't dodge that bullet. I don't even know how you're still walking, that's a lot of blood." He explained as his eyes darted back down at the wound. I watched him in surprise; I hadn't even felt it until now and I hadn't bled on him when we kissed. I moved the jacket to find that the inside was soaked in blood and realised that it must have been containing it. I started to feel weak and unsteady and could no longer draw from the abnormal strength that adrenaline had given me.
"It's fine, I'll be fine, let's just get to the others." I deflected and as I tried to step forward, I fell into his chest. He caught me before lifting me into his arms and breaking into a rushed pace. "I can walk." I breathed, despite feeling my head spinning as everything grew darker around me. I heard another set of footsteps approaching but my vision was too hazy to comprehend whose they were.
"Monty! She's been shot, get Abby or Clarke, now!" Bellamy's voice was frantic and I fought the growing heaviness in my eyes to stay in the moment with him.
"Hey, the whole gang's here." I whispered in response to Clarke's name and even through my blurred vision, I could recognise the terror in his face as he looked down at me.
"Don't even think about dying on me Indigo, just hang on." His desperate pleas were the last thing I heard before I lost consciousness.