A/N: Just want to give a quick warning that the first 'explanation' in this is not true. You'll understand when you read it but I just wanted to say here. I know my medical knowledge hasn't been great so farm but it's not that bad!

Thanks again to the regular and irregular reviewers. I'm so glad there are people really enjoying this.

Chapter 26

Gwaine and Percival came in near lunch time and Arthur was still watching Merlin closely.

"Hey, mate," Gwaine clapped Arthur on the shoulder, "How're you doing?"

Arthur looked up, "I'm worried. No one seems to know what's going on and I don't know how to help him."

"You look awful," Percival said.

"Why don't you go home for a while?" Gwaine suggested, "We can stay."

"I told him I'd stay," Arthur said, "Besides, I went home last night and neither of us could sleep."

"How's he doing?"

"It's hard to say. I'm getting annoyed with the doctors to be honest. They're not telling him anything."

"Do you think that's because they don't know anything?"

"Maybe. But they're not exactly being very reassuring. It sort of feels like they tried to figure it out, couldn't, and gave up. And now he's just here taking up a bed and being forgotten about until he nearly dies! No one's making a big enough deal about it."

"We can stay with him if you want to go and speak to them."

"I'd rather wait until he wakes up. Just in case. It won't be much longer; he's been out for a while."

"Have there been any issues?" Gwaine asked.

"Not yet."

"Must be your presence," he teased with a smirk.

"Hopefully it means he's getting better," Percival frowned at Gwaine.

As if on cue, Merlin started wheezing and gasping, writhing around on the bed. Arthur growled and stood up, completely out of his depth. He'd always known how to help Merlin when he needed. He'd always been so certain with what he'd say or what he needed to do to help calm him down or make him feel better.

As usual, after a few seconds, Merlin stopped breathing all together and stilled on the bed. "Gwaine, go and get help!" Arthur snapped, unreasonably angry with him.

The three of them were ushered away from the bed while the doctors helped Merlin. They were very much aware that the rest of the patients on the ward were watching in interest.

"That was terrifying," Percival mumbled.

A doctor approached them and asked to speak to Arthur. "You might as well say it to all of us," Arthur said, "I'll tell them anyway."

"We have a theory about what might be going on."

Arthur tried not to make a sarcastic, passive aggressive comment about that.

"Normally, you don't have to consciously think about breathing. Basically we think that, for whatever reason, the part of his brain which is responsibly for making him breath unconsciously isn't working properly. So there's a point when he falls so deeply asleep, he can no longer make sure he's breathing. I reckon if we ask him when he wakes up, he'll know he's been aware of his breathing all the time meaning he's constantly making himself inhale and exhale."

"Is that why he's so weak and tired?" Arthur was immediately sceptical. He'd never heard of anything like that.

The doctor nodded, "When he first falls asleep, his mind can't rest properly because he's thinking about his breathing but then when he becomes so exhausted that he falls deeply asleep, he can't breathe anymore."

"How did this happen?"

"We're not sure. He's somehow managed to trick his own subconscious."

"So what happens now?"

"We'll have to put him on a ventilator," the doctor said, "So he won't have to think about it all the time and he can get some proper rest."

"All the time or just through the night?"

"All the time. Until we've done some tests and have found a way to treat it."

"How is this even possible?" Gwaine frowned.

"We don't know that that's definitely what's happening," the doctor clarified, "It's the only thing we've been able to come up with."

Arthur became angry at that but forced himself to stay calm. "Can we talk to him now before he goes on the ventilator?"

The doctor nodded, "We'll be back to do some tests later."

Arthur went straight back to Merlin's bed and took his hand. He groaned and opened his eyes, "It happened again, didn't it?"

Arthur nodded, "They have an idea though. They're going to try and help."

"Took long enough," Merlin smiled.

Arthur quickly explained and Merlin looked upset at the mention of a ventilator.

"I know," Arthur said sympathetically, "You don't want to. But you'll be able to get some proper sleep now. It'll make you feel better."

"I don't understand how it's my brain not working when my lungs were damaged. And I don't believe their stupid idea for one minute."

"I don't think anyone does," Gwaine said from beside Arthur, "But you've always been special, Merls. Obviously you couldn't make anything easy. Hey, you don't think they're just making up a cause because they actually have no clue, do you?"

"Gwaine," Percival sighed, "What-"

Merlin coughed a few times and then said, "Don't bother. We're all used to Gwaine."

"We need to head off," Percival said, "It was good to see you Merlin."

Merlin talked with Arthur until the doctor came to do some tests. "Can Arthur stay?"

"Yeah, of course. In fact, we really do need him to for something we want to try. Arthur, can you just talk to Merlin about something he's really passionate about?"

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter. Pretend I'm not here and just have a conversation."

"Alright, then," Arthur turned to Merlin and smiled, "Our new hotel business- we said we'd expand. Do you think we could build in Ireland? Near where you used to live?"

Merlin nodded enthusiastically, "There's a really nice forest nearby. With a river and a waterfall. It's so beautiful. I want to take you there."

"Where would we stay?"

"We could camp," Merlin laughed.

"That would end awfully."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think I know how to put up a tent?"

"I do. Will and I used to camp there all the time. One time, Freya snuck along with us but didn't bring a sleeping bag or anything with her so I had to give her mine because mum would have killed me if she'd gotten cold or ill."

Arthur laughed, "What would you do while you were there?"

"There's a little ledge on the waterfall that's really easy to get to and you can jump off through the water and there's a really deep pool underneath. It's like a different world, Arthur, i-" he gasped and clutched his chest, suddenly looking terrified and desperately trying to catch his breath.

The doctor told him to lay back and focus on breathing properly.

"What was that?" Arthur demanded.

"That was you taking his mind off things and him not continuing to breathe."

"You purposefully got him to stop breathing?" Arthur all but yelled.

"I'm sorry there wasn't another way to do it. But we've just proved that if he's not consciously thinking about breathing, he can't."

"Alright, so- what do we do now?"

"We'll get some brain scans done hopefully while he's awake and while he's asleep just so we can see what's going on. We'll also put you on a ventilator so you can get some proper rest. I know it's not what you want, but it's safer for you."

Merlin nodded, "Do you think we can fix it? Will I get better?"

"I don't see why you shouldn't."

"And yet you don't actually know what's wrong with him," Arthur said angrily, "I don't believe this ridiculous theory for one second! You've made it up, I know you have!"

"Arthur," Merlin put a hand on his arm and shook his head.

"I'm going to call your mum," Arthur said, "I haven't updated her in a while." He kissed Merlin, stroked his cheek and smiled at him.

"Don't make her worry," Merlin said.

"I won't," he kissed him again, "Love you."

"Love you too."

"It's going to be alright."

Arthur was upset to see that Merlin had already been put on his ventilator when he got back. He'd wanted to be able to talk to him some more, not just at him. But he was, at least, getting some proper sleep. Hunith had been glad to know that some progress had been made, no matter how worried she was.

The doctor came over to talk to Arthur, "We'll need to take him off the ventilator to do the scans so we just wanted to ask your opinion on when you wanted them done. Obviously sooner would be better but if you'd rather he got a few days rest first we can put it off."

"When's the earliest you can do it?"

"There's a slot today or tomorrow afternoon."

"Tomorrow afternoon," Arthur said decisively.

"Right we'll have to take him for one while he's asleep as well."

"Why?"

The doctor looked uncomfortable, "So we can see at what point he starts to struggle," he said awkwardly, "We can do that tonight or tomorrow night."

Arthur looked sceptical, "Tomorrow. Let him rest for today."

"Alright. There will be nurses coming to check on him regularly. Don't worry about them. Any questions?"

"Erm, this might sound odd but do you have a whiteboard or some paper so he can communicate?"

"I'll see what I can get sorted."

"Thank you."

Arthur took Merlin's hand and tried not to think about how much he looked like he had when he'd been in a coma. Except now so much had changed and Arthur couldn't bear to think that something truly awful might happen. He couldn't figure out why they hadn't put him on a ventilator earlier. He'd never been unimpressed with the staff at the hospital and he had lots of experience in lots of departments and lots of staff. But he couldn't help but feel now that Merlin was being a little bit neglected and Arthur didn't know how to look after him either.

Merlin woke up in the late afternoon and, forgetting about the huge tubes now in his face, opened his mouth to try and speak. Arthur smiled at him and sighed, "They thought you were being too loud, remember? They wanted to try and shut you up."

Merlin's eyes softened in amusement.

"Gwen texted. She wants to bring the baby in. You're having scans done tomorrow but she said they can come the day after. You can see the baby again, would you like that? Or shall I tell her you're too busy?"

Merlin narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

"How do you feel?" Arthur asked, "A bit better now you've had some rest?"

Merlin shrugged.

Arthur was quite used to translating his facial expressions of movements so assumed, "Still worried?"

He nodded sadly and lowered his head.

"Don't be scared," Arthur said, "They know what's going on now, they can help. I called your mum. She feels better now she knows a bit more. I've tried to tell her that she doesn't need to come over but we'll see. She seems pretty determined. I reckon she just wants to meet the baby and she's using you as an excuse. She's alright, by the way. Her and Freya. They're both fine. By what I can tell, any time Freya so much as stubs her toe your mum's all over it, making sure nothing's wrong. I reckon once you're feeling better she'll calm down but having all of her kids-" he stopped himself, "I mean, both- erm, two of her- oh, Merlin, I'm sorry."

Merlin shook his head as if saying it was alright, but he'd lowered his gaze sadly. Arthur's words had reminded him of Will. His brother's death had been strange for Merlin. He'd never had time to think about it properly and his life had changed so much in the months afterwards that he'd never mourned him properly. Merlin and Will had always been so close but now Merlin was starting to feel like he'd forgotten him. Like he'd found a new life with Arthur and abandoned his brother's memory.

"I'm sorry, Merls," Arthur said, "I know it's still hard."

Merlin didn't look up.

"You miss him?"

Merlin held his hand out and reached for Arthur's pocket. Arthur handed him his phone and opened up the notes so Merlin could type: 'Sometimes I forget he's gone and I think he's in Ireland like before he ever came here. Then when I remember, I feel bad. I didn't spend enough time with him or help him feel settled here enough even though he lived with me instead of his uni friends. I want him back.'

Arthur looked up to see tears streaming down Merlin's face. His heart broke for him as he said, "Oh, Merlin. Will loved you so much. It's not fair that he was taken away from you the way he was but you can't spend your life thinking about what you could have done differently. You two lived to make each other happy. You tried Merlin. He knows that."

Merlin took the phone again, 'My little brother.'

Arthur could feel himself welling up, "I know, Merlin. I'm so sorry."

'It's been a year,' he typed with shaking fingers, 'It's still not real. I still think he could come back. I never got to say goodbye. I don't like thinking that he died believing I could come and rescue him. I was so close to finding him, I know I was. Why couldn't that one thing have gone right for me when everything else was going wrong?'

Arthur stroked Merlin's hair and pressed their foreheads together as best he could. He didn't know what to say. They were both crying.

Merlin picked up Arthur's phone again, his fingers still trembling so the message was filled with typos and errors, "Please don't ever leave me. When everything was going wrong for me, I knew I always had you to go back to. When my dad died, I knew you were still here at work for me when I came back. And since the fire, I can't imagine spending any time away from you."

"I'm not going to go anywhere. Not ever. We're stuck with each other. Forever and ever," Arthur kissed him on the forehead, "Promise."

Arthur's phone pinged but he ignored it, focusing on Merlin until he felt better. Eventually, the tears stopped and Merlin motioned to Arthur's phone so he could dry his cheeks while Arthur checked who'd texted him.

"It's Morgana. She's asking if she's alright to leave Killi with my dad overnight if she heads over here to visit us and stay over with Gwen. What do you think?"

Merlin shrugged. Arthur quickly told his sister it was fine to leave Killi with Uther. Morgana and Leon, having moved close to where the new hotel would soon be, were now quite far away from the city where everyone else lived. It wasn't really worth it for them to drive all the way over to visit Merlin in hospital for a couple of hours and then go all the way home again when it was so late in the afternoon.

"It'll be nice to see Morgs, won't it? We haven't seen them for a while. Why don't you get a bit more rest before they get here?"

The first thing Morgana did when she arrived was wrap her brother in a huge, tight hug and hold him tightly for a while. "How are you doing?"

"I'll be alright if he is."

"When he is," Morgana corrected sternly. They sat down together by Merlin's bed.

"Where's Leon?"

"He's on his way up. He's just getting some coffee. So, tell, me- what's going on?"

Arthur quickly explained what was happening and what the doctors thought the problem was, including just how little he believed them. Leon joined them early into the conversation so Arthur had to backtrack to bring him up to date as well.

"So they knew his lungs were failing and they've only just put him on breathing support?" Leon frowned, "How does that work? He suffered respiratory failure multiple times a night and they didn't do anything about it until now?"

Arthur raised his eyebrows and nodded, "I've never been disappointed with the staff here. And I swear I must have met everyone by now. But it really feels this time like they've just stuffed him in a corner and forgotten about him. I don't really believe their theory about that's going on. I've never heard of anything like that. And he actually could be dying and they're making up stories!"

"So what's going to happen now?"

"Tests and scans. I asked them to wait for a while so he could get some rest."

"Has he not been sleeping properly?"

"He can't," Arthur said, "According to the staff, every time he fell asleep deep enough to let his mind rest, he stopped breathing. He was so exhausted," Arthur ran a hand through his hair stressfully, "I'm just so annoyed at the staff. Why weren't they doing scans and things earlier than this? There's clearly a problem."

"Maybe they thought it would fix itself," Leon mused.

"It's not their job to think that," Morgana said, "From what we know, Merlin nearly died in the middle of the night, the doctors managed to stabilise him and then left it at that. They didn't try to figure it out for- how long- over a week? Even now they've not come to a decent conclusion that actually makes sense. In what world is that ok?"

"How does Merlin feel?" Leon asked.

"He's terrified. No one's taking the time to reassure him so he really is scared. I think part of him thinks he's going to die. He's never talked so much about the future or begged me so much to stay with him. He has no trust in the staff."

"And what do you think?"

"I don't trust them either. I know this thing they've told us about his brain is completely made up, I'm not stupid. I don't know what to think because no one's telling us anything. This could be really serious or it could be nothing. He could be walking out of here in two days or not at all. And I have no idea."

Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder reassuringly.

"Can you stay with him while I go to the loo?"

"Of course."

When Arthur got back, Morgana and Leon were still talking to each other quietly, looking at Merlin in concern.

"Are you alright?" Arthur sat down, "What's happened?"

Morgana looked completely traumatised.

"Morgs," Arthur instinctively looked over Merlin to make sure he was alright, "What happened?"

"You know the man that was on the bed across the room?"

Arthur glanced over and saw an empty space where the bed used to be, "Yeah?"

"Did you see him today?" Leon asked, his face grave.

"I haven't been paying him much attention," Arthur admitted, "But he was asleep all morning, right?"

Morgana shook her head and swallowed thickly, "He wasn't asleep."

"He died in the middle of the night," Leon said.

Arthur's face fell and he looked at them in complete horror, "No. And no one noticed?" he took a few deep breaths, "Right. I want Merlin moved."

"Arthur-"

"No. I want him moved. I was disappointed in the staff already but that," he gestured to where the patient used to be, "That's too much. I want him somewhere the people know what they're doing. Because whatever rubbish they've sprouted out about his brain is stupid and I don't believe it. I want to know what's actually going on."