Hi, everyone! Thanks so much for all the kind words of encouragement and support. Your reviews keep me going. I love hearing your thoughts and opinions. I'll admit that I hit a bit of a wall trying to steer this story where I want it to go. In college, I learned when that happens, it's best to take a step back and work on something else. So I did. I started a new story that's much lighter than this, easier, simple. Maybe when this one is complete, I'll publish that one, too!
I hope you all enjoy this next chapter. Let me know what you think by leaving a review!
"I'm fucking pregnant."
My mouth drops. Literally drops.
"Shut up!" I yell in panic.
My heart is a jackhammer immediately and all at once.
Alice is sixteen. She's still a baby. She can't have a baby!
"Fuck!" she yells, slamming her head against the door.
I grab my phone and call Rose until she answers because she'll know what to do.
"Where are you?"
"I'm almost there, damn, where's the fire?" she asks.
"Just hurry up!" I yell back before ending the call.
"Who knows?" I ask.
"You!"
She isn't crying. She isn't devastated. She isn't panicked.
I slide down her wall and plop next to her. My arm wraps around her shoulders, and I pull her in like Edward does for me. I envelope her and hold her and be there. And then I start thinking about everything.
What did my mom tell me when I started my period? I don't know, I was too embarrassed to listen!
What did my doctor say when prescribing my birth control? I don't know, I couldn't stop thinking about finally having sex with Edward.
What did we learn about in health? Something about ovulation after your period but that's all I remember. Shit! I should probably know this. I pull out my phone and google the dumbest thing ever how to get pregnant while praying my mom never looks at my search history. I couldn't even imagine that conversation.
"So it says you ovulate half way between your last period and your next period."
"What the fuck does that even mean?"
I laugh because I have no freaking clue. "In an average 28 day cycle, ovulation usually happens 14 days before the start of the next menstrual period."
Alice giggles.
"What's so funny?"
"Menstrual period."
I laugh back.
"Alice! This is not a time to joke!"
She dries the tears that start as laughter before they end as tears from nervousness.
"It's just… how can I have a baby if I can't even say menstrual period?"
I continue reading, "to maximize fertility, do these: have sex regularly—"
"Check."
"Have sex near time of ovulation—"
"Fucking check… I think."
"Okay, let's move on. When was your last period?"
"September."
"It's almost December!" I take a breath. Shit, what if she really is pregnant?
"I fucking know!"
There's a bang on the door.
"Go the fuck away!" Alice yells.
"It's me, bitch. Open up."
Rosalie.
I sigh in relief. She'll know what to do.
She sets the bottle of vodka down and pulls out three shot glasses with a smile and a bounce.
I shake my head slowly as she offers us the glasses.
"What?"
Rose looks from me to Alice to the untouched shot glasses and back to me.
He eyes grow. Her head drops. Her fingers screw the cap back on the bottle.
"Fuck," she whispers, sitting across from us. "I always thought I'd be the first to get knocked up."
Alice gives a sullen laugh. "So did we."
Twenty minutes later and we're discussing everything.
"Okay, so you're preggo and you'll give birth like end of the summer. You'll be seventeen and a half then. Shit, you can do it, Al. My mom had me at seventeen," Rose says matter-of-factly.
"I can't have a fucking baby, Rose. Have you met me? There's not one motherly bone in my body. I don't even like baby animals. You think I'll like an actual baby? They cry and poop and they're so loud. I'll never be able to sleep in ever again. I want to sleep in!"
"Okay, okay. Calm down,"
I scratch my head. This is freaking me out. I try and put myself in Alice's shoes. What if Edward got me pregnant? I mean, I take my pill like clockwork because I want us to have a future—us as in me and Edward, not me, Edward, and a baby… I mean, not yet anyways. What would it be like though? I can't even imagine the fear. The sinking rock in my stomach. Telling my dad. Oh my god, my heart's beating faster than before.
I quickly shake those thoughts and feelings.
"When did you take the test?" I ask.
"What test?"
"The pregnancy test. Hello!"
"I didn't take one."
Rose rolls her eyes and I straighten.
"Well then how do you even know you're pregnant?"
"My tits are sore. I didn't have a period in October. Jasper didn't pull out, like, a bunch of times. I missed a pill or two this fall. It all adds up!" Alice panics.
"Okay. Relax. No one's pregnant until you pee on a stick. Do you have one? My mom has a bunch, but she's home and I can't sneak into her bathroom." Rose claps Alice on the shoulder in solidarity.
Alice shakes her head. "My mom doesn't have any."
"I'll get Edward to take me to the store," I reason. "I'll tell him I need snacks or something."
Alice looks at me and nods.
"What kind should I get?"
We spend the next few minutes looking up the best test to get and decide no blue dye tests as they give false results or something. Alice hands me a twenty.
"For the test and some chocolate. If I'm going to get fat, may as well start early."
"You can borrow my clothes then," I tease, and Alice forces a laugh.
Downstairs, Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are engulfed in video games. Edward's sitting on the couch, coaching his friends.
"Watch your back! Oh shit, drive drive drive! To the left!" Edward yells until a car crashes into another and Emmett tosses his controller down in anger.
"This game fucking cheats," Em yells.
My laughter interrupts, and all three boys turn their attention to me.
"Hey B," his friends say.
"C'mere," my guy says.
I fall onto the couch, and he pulls me into his lap.
His nose nuzzles my neck and his arms hug my waist.
Over the last few weeks, I've definitely packed on some pounds. My already soft tummy has gotten softer and I have to suck in to button my jeans.
"I'm getting so fat," I whine to Edward one night a few weeks ago. I try to button my pants and tear up when I can't.
"They've always been tight on you," Edward says.
I think he's trying to make me feel better, but when I start to cry, he walks over to me and holds me in his arms.
"I know they have because I've always been fat!"
"Bella," he starts in an annoyed tone.
"What."
He skims his hands down my sides from my breasts, past my waist, to the swell of my hips, and lands on my bottom.
"You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You have the sweetest smile and prettiest, lightest eyes. Your ears are dainty and your collarbone is…" He finishes his sentence with a bite right where he's talking about. "Your freckles are like tiny sprinkles that decorate your body, and you know I love to taste them." Edward bends to kiss my cheek. "I love your breasts, and the tiny red mark under your left nipple. I love watching your belly move as you breathe when I give you my cock. And I especially love watching your beautiful, soft ass bounce in these tight fucking pants when you walk away from me at school. You are beautiful."
I can feel the blush creep up my belly and into my neck and by the time it gets to my cheeks, I'm kissing him so hard my lips hurt.
"What's up, Pretty?" Edward asks, sandwiching me between his chest and his arms that now hold the controller.
"Take me to the drugstore?" I ask softly.
"For what?" His eyes are trained on the TV, and his body jerks and moves in sync with the car he's driving in the game.
"Snacks."
"We have more than enough here, B. My mom made us an apple pie and left us ice cream in the freezer."
Shit. Mrs. Cullen knows my weakness for apple pie a la mode.
"I know, but you don't have skittles, and I really, really want some skittles right now."
I give a little moan for emphasis.
Edward sighs and hangs his head. It works, but he needs a little more convincing.
"Pllllease?" I ask in my sweetest voice. I turn so I'm straddling him and smile gently. I know Em's hanging on every moment of this, and so I give a good show. "When else will we get to be alone tonight, Edward?" I whisper.
Edward tosses the controller to Emmett, hitting him in the chest as he pushes me off and stands.
I smile sweetly and stand on my tippy toes to peck his lips.
"I'll be back," Edward announces.
"You need a rubber?" Emmett asks in a half joking, half serious tone.
"Nah," Edward says, throwing an arm around my shoulders and up the stairs.
"Guess his pullout game is strong," Em jokes just loud enough for me to hear as we round the corner to the foyer where I slip on my shoes. The girls are in the formal living room watching as we leave. Alice's leg bounces so fast and Rose gently rests her hand on Alice's knee to calm her.
In the car, Edward's hand grips my thigh and slides up and down.
"You're a little tease, Isabella Swan," he says with a laugh.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you make my dick hard in front of my friends all for some fucking skittles."
My laughter bubbles out and I turn to see him smile.
"You've jerked off like a million times today. Aren't you good?"
We pull up to the drug store and he puts the car in park. "I'm a teenage boy who has girlfriend with a sexy little body and a face to match, Bella. I could jerk off 10 times a day and it still wouldn't be enough."
Edward squeezes my knee and then adjusts his pants. His hand goes to the key and before he can turn it, I tell him, "I'll go in. You stay here and deal with your little… problem."
"It's not little, B. You of all people should know that."
"Okay, whatever, just… stay here."
"You sure?" he asks before sending me smirk. "Maybe we can pick out some flavored lube or some shit."
I peck his cheek and pop out of the car. "Nah, that's okay." I shut the door as he groans.
I know that I'm leaving him high and dry, and I used the possibility of getting him off as a way to get a pregnancy test for his sister, but making him come isn't the highest thing on my list of to-dos right now.
Inside, I find the aisle with feminine product and pick up the brand we decided on. I pass by the sexual health section of the aisle, and glance briefly before my eyes land on something that claims to stimulate and intensify for him and her. Alright, fine. Maybe making him come is somewhere on my to-do list. He's just so freaking hot and I love the way he moans when it's me doing it to him. I grab it quickly, burry it under the pregnancy test, and go. After throwing some candy in the basket, I head to the register.
I ask for it to be double bagged, so Edward doesn't see what's inside.
Back in the car, I slip on my seat belt, and pull out the surprise.
"I just put the monster to sleep," he says, leaning over to capture my lips. He tries to release me, but I don't let him go until I'm ready.
When I finally pull back, he chuckles and grabs the box to inspect it.
"Is that a good one?" I ask.
He shrugs. "Want to find out?"
I don't even have to nod before he's pulling out of the parking lot and driving down the road faster than I want him to. He turns left then right and heads straight. I recognize the area. He pulls into an empty parking lot, set away from the street, and parks behind a dumpster. Our car is hidden, squeezed in between the brick wall, steel dumpster, and dense forest.
Edward crawls in the back after turning off the car and nods his head for me to follow along. I crawl back and fumble to the seat next to him, but he's pulling me on his lap and grinding against me already.
"Edward, how are you always just ready to go?"
"My good-girl, sexy as fuck girlfriend bought us his and hers lube. Plus, these tight ass leggings? Baby your ass…" and then he squeezes it and pulls me back and forth over him. "You gotta let me put it in there."
He can't see, but I roll my eyes. I reach for him and move his pants down to his thighs, releasing his erection, and wrap my fingers around it. Grunts and heavy breathing fill the space around us already.
"You want to put this in my butt?" I ask like it's a sick joke.
"Not just shove in there, Bella," he mumbles. "But, yeah. First you gotten loosen up, use something to stretch you out a little, then we'll use a lot of lube to keep it slick, and then I'll fuck this tight little ass—"
I grab the lube and pour it onto his cock to shut him up. I can't even imagine how having this huge thing up there would provide me any pleasure at all. I start sliding my fist up and down slowly and I hope he forgets what he was saying.
"What's it like?" I ask.
"Warm."
"Is that good?" I ask curiously.
"Yes."
I grip firmer and circle my fist faster. He's hard as stone between my palm and fingers, and I want nothing more than to feel him between my legs. Edward senses this. He pulls my leggings down and off one leg, sits me back so my bottom is positioned near his knees, and leans me back so I'm resting between the seats up front. I brace one arm behind me on the arm console and continue pumping him up and down. Edward pulls me by my ankles so I'm all but lying flat. I crane my neck to watch as he sets my feet on his shoulders, squirts lube above my clit, and rubs just my clit with the pad of his thumb.
"Relax," he whispers.
I lean back so my upper half is in the front seat, and maneuver with him as he pulls me so my center is as close to his. He's still rubbing my clit, and my knees are spread and near my chest. If I look at him I'm sure I'll see his free hand pumping his dick. But, right now, I'm enjoying the coolness of the lube and small, tight circles where I'm pulsating.
"How's that?" he whispers.
"Good," I mewl.
"What's it feel like for you?"
"Cool and tingly, like my vagina just rinsed with mouthwash."
He chuckles and pushes harder on my clit, making my hips buck. He rubs again and again and again until he replaces his thumb with the head of his cock and he slaps it against my swollen clit. I sit up and watch as he pours more lube on the head.
I reposition myself before he can move to lay me down, and take his shaft in my hand, rubbing the head against my opening.
I sink slowly, opening myself up to this new position, and wait for the burning stretch to dissipate. He's mostly all the way in when I breathe.
"Oh, fuck," he whispers softly, bending his neck to watch my lips wrap around him.
I'm on my knees and I'm grinding back and forth. My clit scratches against him, and I don't quite know what to do with my hands. He grabs them and places them on his neck.
"Do what makes you feel good, baby," he says gently, allowing me to control this new position.
"Like this?" I ask, lifting up and dropping back down shallowly.
He grunts out a "yes" and I'm encouraged.
I do it again. I raise up more and when I drop back down, it's a little harder. Moans fill the heated car, and I don't know if they belong to me or him. What I do know is that felt freaking good, so I do it again.
I lift my hips highest yet and fall back harder.
The head of his cock hits me in just the right place, and my legs tremble.
"Shit," I breathe-shake and grind myself into him.
Edward takes my hips and helps me out.
The sensation is cool, my insides are tingling, and my clit throbs in the best way.
Edward helps me so that my feet are flat on the bench seat, and my back is arched. My head falls backwards toward the front from lack of height in the car. He scoots his bottom down closer to the edge of the seat and spreads his legs.
"You should see yourself right now," he moans.
Being on my feet instead of my knees gives me more power to lift, so I do. I lift almost all the way up and slam back down, but this time I don't stop. My legs are shaking from physical exertion.
I think about the way his cock hits against my walls over and over. I think about the sounds he's making—the sounds my body, my sex does to him. I think about him pulsating inside of me, harder than before, so close to the edge for the third time today because of me. I ride harder. I ride faster. My hips slam into his until the knot in my belly pulls as tight as I've ever felt it, and I'm almost in tears over the extreme pleasure, and when he digs his fingers into the soft skin of my hip to help me fuck him, I almost die.
I can hear his breaths come out in pants and he's whimpering things like "pinkest fucking pussy" and "so fucking tight" and all I can think is "right there. Don't stop".
"Right fucking here?" he asks, confirming that what I said was actually out loud.
"Yes," I moan loudly, slamming into him. "Yes, Edward. Oh shit, yes."
When he touches his thumb against my clit and pounds into me, I'm free falling and flailing.
My voice fills the inside of the car, and my whole body shakes from the intensity of my orgasm. His thumb stays put, but his hips continue to hammer into me from below.
He gives a final, "fuck, fuck, fuck" before he pushes himself in all the way and releases in strong pulsating streams.
I come to and watch his face contort but the only thing I can see is that little pink box in the front seat. I quickly get off and finish him with my hand. I can feel most drip from my swollen lips onto his thigh, and the rest falls on my hand.
If he minds, he doesn't let on.
"Jesus, Bella, that was so fucking hot."
I giggle because what else can I do. He helps me up, puts my leggings back on my free leg, and I help readjust his pants. Using his boxers, Edward soaks up what leaked out of me before we climb back into the front.
After we're repositioned and buckled in, Edward leans over and kisses me tenderly.
"Thank you," he whispers.
"For?"
He sighs and releases me.
"Loving me the way you do."
I smile and kiss his chin then his neck.
"And for making you come three times today?"
He laughs. "Well, technically only two since I did it the first time."
"And what were you thinking of the first time?"
"This."
"Then it's three."
~!~
On the way home, I ask, "think they'll know what we did?"
"Are you kidding me? I smell like pussy and there's jizz all over me."
I look down and notice a dark spot on his thigh as we pull into the driveway.
Inside, Edward runs up to his room as Alice gives me the what the fuck took so long look. Rose gives me a you dirty little slut smirk.
"Uhm, I might have stepped on your chocolate bar," I tell her, holding it up.
"If you hadn't stopped for a quickie you wouldn't have!"
We're all paused in fear because is this too soon but then Jasper cuts the tension with a surprised laugh and Emmett follows suit. Soon, we're all laughing, even Alice.
Upstairs, I read her the directions.
"Pee in a cup. Dip the stick in. Wait three minutes."
"Just pee right on the stick, Alice. I've done it a million times," Rose says in boredom.
"You have?" Al asks.
"But the directions say pee in a cup and dip—"
"Bella, all she has to do is pee on the thing and it'll tell her."
"Fine, whatever," I say, tossing the directions on the bed as Alice makes her way to the bathroom, stick in hand.
When she comes back, Alice sits beside me and holds the stick, wrapped in toilet paper, in her hand.
"Lay if flat. Wait three minutes. Two lines means you're preggo. One line means you're not."
"What if I am?" she asks, sitting on the floor next to the stick.
"What if you are?" I repeat.
"I'll keep it, I guess."
"You have options."
"I'm not having an abor—"
"I mean adoption, dumbass," Rose corrects in irritation.
"Why would I go through all the work of growing a baby, stretching my vag to push the thing out, and then not even get to keep it?"
"Uh, because you're only sixteen?"
"Some couples can't have babies, right?" I offer. "Maybe you could see it as helping them start a family."
Alice doesn't say much, but I can sense she's nervous. Her nails are bitten to nubs. Her second day hair hangs limply on her shoulders.
"I'm not Santa Clause," Alice says. "I can't just grow a baby and give it away like it's nothing!"
Her eyes well with tears and I know what she's decided.
We sit in silence until the timer on her phone goes off, and then we sit in silence even longer
after she turns it off.
After a while, Alice huffs and unwraps the stick.
She sits and stares for what feels like an hour. She says nothing, she does nothing.
"What's it say?" I finally ask.
"It says nothing," Alice says flatly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it says nothing!"
She's getting angry. My heart sinks. Maybe she can't accept that it's—
"There are no lines."
"No lines?" Rose asks. "Let me see."
I peak over her shoulder and, in fact, the window that should display at least one control line has nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
"Well, shit," I say. "What's that mean?"
Alice starts freaking and Rose just stares.
I scramble to the directions and read through it again.
"If after 10 minutes no line appears in the oval control test window, the test in invalid. Repeat with a new test. Factors that might affect the accuracy of the test include following test procedures inaccurately. See! I knew we should have just followed the freaking directions."
"The ones I've taken just say to pee on it."
"How many did you get?" Al asks, hopeful for a beat too long.
"Just one," I tell her softly. "They were pretty expensive."
She hangs her head in defeat.
"That's it," she explains, "I'm telling Jasper he needs to wrap it up every single time he sticks it in me. I never want to go through this again."
"Yeah, just wear a fucking condom," Rose explains, grabbing a bag of skittles and popping a handful in her mouth. "They suck, but you know what sucks even more? Having a fucking baby when you're sixteen."
"You use condoms?" I ask Rose in surprise. I guess it makes sense since Emmett offered one earlier.
"Uh, don't you?"
My cheeks heat and I'm frozen. I look from Rose to Alice slowly.
"Well?" Alice asks.
"Uhm," I mumble.
"You don't?" Rose questions.
"Not really."
"Does he pull out?"
"No."
"Jesus, Bella. You're playing with fire," Rose warns.
"I take the pill religiously."
They both shake their heads.
"Edward's worked so hard for a basketball scholarship. He wants to go pro," Alice explains.
"I know."
"He already had one pregnancy scare, remember?"
"Yeah."
Alice looks at me. "Just… be careful."
I nod slowly.
"And ew, let's not talk about where my brother… ugh, nevermind, I'm going to throw up."
"Are you going to tell Jasper?" I ask.
She nods. "I probably have to, right?"
I shrug. "I have no idea. I guess it would be the best thing to do."
We spend the next few hours talking about school and thanksgiving and annoying brothers and when Jessica Stanley slipped down the stairs the day she wore platform heels to school. We talk about when we had our first kiss and what our first time was like. Alice doesn't even cringe that hard when I tell her, very, very briefly, about mine.
Out of nowhere, Rose admits, "Em loves when I bite his nipples."
Al tries to one up her. "Oh yeah? Jas loves to suck on my toes."
"Oh my god!" I scream-laugh, falling to my side and laughing ferociously because ew.
They're both looking at me.
"Well?" Rose prods.
I look to Al.
"Just say it!" she yells.
I laugh and admit, "Edward loves to call me Isabella."
"Like, when you're fucking?" Rose asks.
"Yeah, or, like, just any time he's turned on."
Alice shivers and stuffs her face with chocolate. So do I. This is weird.
"He's got those long fingers. I bet that shit feels good."
Alice stands quickly, headed for the door.
I giggle and nod.
"Let's go eat some pie!" Alice yells, running to the stairs in hopes of leaving this conversation behind.
We all stumble down the steps and dig into the pie Mrs. Cullen left for us.
"So good," Rose says.
"So, so good," I moan and give a little wiggle.
"That's what good pie does for me, too," Edward laughs and walks up behind me, brushing the hair away from my neck. His eyes are serious, dilated, as he rubs my neck with his fingers.
"Want some?" I ask over a mouthful, offering him what's left on my fork.
He smirks. "Not the kind of pie I was talking about."
Alice and Jas gag. I smile in embarrassment and glance down.
Rose laughs so loud it hurts my ears.
"Why can't you be like that?" she asks Emmett.
"Like what?" asks Em, crumbs spilling from his mouth.
"Flirty and sexy and dirty."
"I am."
Rose rolls her eyes. "No, you just ask 'can I lick your pussy' and that's certainly not the same."
I cringe a little.
"Am I not supposed to ask?"
"Sometimes I want you to just throw me down and fucking do it!" Rose yells.
This feels like an argument they have frequently.
"Fine then," Em says, tossing his fork on the counter and stomping over to Rose.
"Oh, god," Alice groans.
Em puts her over his shoulder and walks down the stairs.
"Not the basement!" we all call after him.
~!~
Later, after we demolish the apple pie, we couple up in the basement. Edward and I are in the far corner, Rose and Em are in the other, and Alice and Jas occupy the oversized chair nearest Rose and Em.
There's a movie playing, but I don't really watch it. Instead, I keep my eyes and ears pinned to Alice to make sure she's not having an internal panic attack.
You okay? I send quickly.
I think so. Just… scared. I'm going to tell him tonight after the movie is over.
Oh shit. Do you need me?
No, but thanks, B. I think I should do it alone.
I nod and give her a smile.
Edward leans down.
"What are you two talking about, Pretty?" he asks softly.
I shake my head and place my phone down.
He kisses the top of my head and brings my body closer to his.
Everything we sacrificed, the years of secrets and hiding and hurting… everything paid off. Here am I, sitting on the couch on a Wednesday with my boyfriend and my best friends in the world and I'm finally able to kiss Edward anytime I want.
My heart soars out of my chest. I feel higher than I've ever been right now.
~!~
After the movie ends, Alice grabs Jasper's hand and they disappear.
"Alright, I need to smoke," Edward says, shaking his head. "Em, you in?"
"Yeah," he says. "Rosie?"
"Nah."
"Pretty?"
"I'm good."
The boys disappear into the backyard and Rose crawls closer to me on the couch.
"So, you just let Edward shoot his load inside you?"
I'm sort of taken aback, but not really because it's Rose.
I nod. "Is that bad?" I ask. "I mean, I didn't tonight. Well, not really anyways. I tried not to, but I was so in the moment and he came right after I did and was holding my hips down but then I got off of him and pulled him out and I think maybe only a little got inside me. I'm not sure though. I was just nervous because what's happening with—"
"Woah, woah, woah," Rose says holding up her hand to stop my rambling. "I'm going to need to you to tell me what happened from start to finish, Bella Swan."
And I do. I tell her about the conversation before the store, the lube, how we ended up in the back, that it was my first time on top, that it felt so good I lost where I was for a second and when I came to I realized what was happening.
After all this, the only thing she can think to ask is, "so you can orgasm from just sex… like, without touching yourself?"
"Uhm, yeah? I mean, I never touch myself during sex. If I'm getting touched, he's the one doing it."
"Wait a minute!" she yells. "Edward touches you while he's fucking you?"
I laugh at the absurdity. "Sometimes, like tonight. It makes it really intense."
"Oh my fucking god." Rose falls back onto the couch in a fetal position. "Bella, don't get me wrong, I love Emmett and his cock is glorious. It does the job, but he's got not motion in the ocean if you know what I mean. Like, he's just a guy that does what feels good. He doesn't think of me. He doesn't think to rub my clit while he's fucking me. There's no flirting or sensual play. There's barely foreplay."
I smile down at her. "I have an idea."
We concoct a text to Edward.
Em needs some lessons in how to please a girl, Edward. He needs to learn sexy, sensual stuff. Can you, like, help him? Rose said he doesn't even rub her when they're doing it. I don't know how, but could you just, like, offer some tips?
Unfortunately for us, Edward never responds.
Rose and I talk about what will happen if Alice really is pregnant, what her parents will probably do, what Edward would say, how Jasper will react.
"Think he'll start to use again?" Rose asks as she picks at her cuticles.
I sigh in anxiety. "I hope not."
"Where's your boyfriend?" Jasper asks frantically.
"Outside with—"
But I can't finish the sentence because he's gone. I hear the opening and slamming over the sliding glass door.
"What was that about?" Rose asks.
"Do you think he heard?"
"Probably."
I lean my cheek against my knee. Shit.
I wait for Alice. It's been twenty minutes since Jasper came down in a hurry, so where is she?
Where are you?
Nothing.
Are you okay?
Nothing again.
Alice Cullen if you don't answer me, I'm coming up there.
Just as I stand, true to my word, my phone buzzes.
I'm okay. Jasper's freaking. I told him to go hit whatever Edward has, calm down, and then we can talk. I've had time to myself to deal and process, and that's what he needs now.
I sigh in relief and the nervous bubbles in my belly like carbonation slow to a minimum for now.
I can get Edward to take me tomorrow to get you another test.
Okay.
I relay the messages to Rose, and she says they're being dumb. We talk about what we'd do if we were in Alice's shoes, but it's easy to do so when you're not living the nightmare.
Come here.
Two words and my belly flops like a fish out of water. Edward knows. He has to. How doesn't he. The only time he talks to me like that is if we're fooling around, and right now we aren't. Am I in trouble? Why would I be in trouble? He's not my dad. This is a secret between girlfriends.
These are all things I think of as my feet obey and walk closer and closer to the three boys outside. It's freezing cold, a wet November night, so I grab a throw blanket to wrap around my shoulders, slip into Mr. Cullen's slippers, and head out. Rose follows behind, only she's not as nervous.
Jasper's walked off to the far end of the yard, pacing in the wet brush of the forest. He has a joint in one hand, and the other grips his grown out, long blonde locks.
Edward has his back to me and I tap it so he knows I'm here. Without missing a beat, he pulls me over next to him and crosses his arms, continuing the conversation with Emmett.
"I'm telling you man, he won't make it," Em says.
"Bullshit, he'll be fine," Edward argues back.
Oh no. Oh boy. Here we go.
I watch as Emmett pulls Rose over, the same way Edward did to me, and we both stare in fear.
Edward throws his arm around my shoulders, his fingers find their way into the blanket, and his cold digits rest gently atop the swell of my breast.
"You're fucking crazy," Em says, taking notice of a shivering Rose, and wrapping his arm around his girl to warm her as well.
Rose and I glance at each other in wonder. I give her the are they going to say anything? look and she gives me the I have no idea eyes.
"Edward?" I ask meekly, nervously.
"No, I'm not. He's not going to lose it," Edward announces.
He ignores me, but he leans forward just enough to lower his hand and grab my breast in his palm.
I swallow and balance my weight from leg to leg. His palm rubs my nipple through my thin shirt and lacey bra. It pebbles hard in his hand and Edward places it between the knuckles of two fingers, grips it, and pulls.
I have to stop the moan from coming out of my mouth by clearing my throat quickly.
He wasn't lying when he said he could go all day every day. He has me worried I won't be able to keep up.
Edward takes the joint from Em, inhales deeply, and turns to me.
"Isabella," he says lowly.
"Yes?" I mumble so quietly I can barely hear.
"Open."
I watch as smoke escapes his mouth with every word, but I do as he asks. He leans down close enough that I can smell his cologne. Our lips are millimeters from touching, but he holds back. I close my eyes and inhale as he exhales.
I hold and breathe and let the moment settle on my skin like dew. When I blow out and open my eyes, everyone's eyes are on me.
"Better?" he asks softly.
Edward's eyes are lazy but caring. He doesn't smile, but concern shows against his lips and in his freckles.
Emmett and Rose watch us like a movie. I throw out a nervous giggle and grab the joint from his fingers, giving myself enough to take the edge off my anxiety. If Edward knows, if Jasper told him, he isn't mad that I kept it a secret. If anything, he's upset that I'm bottling everything inside, unable to confide in him.
After my third pull, he shakes his head and I pass it back to him.
"This shit's strong, B," he says with a laugh.
Emmett takes the joint and pulls, then exhales perfect circles with the smoke.
He and Edward walk off for a minute to throw the roach into the woods and Rose slaps my arm.
"Ouch," I tell her.
"Emmett was grabbing my tit that whole fucking time," she whispers harshly.
"So was Edward."
"And he pinched my fucking nipple. Fuck," she says, rubbing it under the blanket. "Then he saw Edward do that shit to you and practically fucked my hip."
My laugh is loud and short, and I quickly cover my mouth, glancing to my house to make sure there's no movement.
"Do you think Edward talked to him?" she asks. "He never does that shit, Bella."
I smile as I glance over to Edward. He's standing near Emmett and nodding, talking with hands, and explaining something very dramatically.
I catch his attention as Em says something, and Edward crosses his arms and winks at me. He smiles as I lick my lips. That wink went right to my clit. Holy. Fuck.
"Bella?" Rose interrupts.
"Hm?"
She turns around to see our guys walking back.
"I told you man, Casius isn't cut out for it. No fucking way he's getting a scholarship," Em says.
"Whatever, dude. You'll see."
Edward turns to me now and leans down to whisper in my ear.
"Did that blush reach into your little panties, Pretty?"
I grab my lip between my teeth and bite down.
"I bet you're fucking wet right now, aren't you baby? Do you still have my jizz in you? I want to taste you so bad right now. I want to put my fingers inside and you and make you squirt again. Remember that?"
I know I'm on fire. I have to be. Why isn't anyone throwing water on me to put it out? I look up at Edward and his eyes watch my teeth as it presses into my lip.
All of a sudden, Rose pulls Em by the arm into the house.
Edward laughs and pulls me into a hug.
"What was all that about?" I ask Edward as he spins us around and walks toward the woods. "And why aren't we going back inside?"
"You wanted me to give Em some advice. What's a better way of teaching than to show him? And we're not going inside because I think maybe we're going to want to give them some privacy, B."
"Did it work?"
"I'm sure Rose will tell you later, Bella."
"And Jasper?"
"He and Alice went to the store," he whispers.
"So, you know?"
"I do."
"And?"
"And they're fucking stupid as hell." He runs his hand through his hair after we find a log to sit on. "How can they be so stupid? Jesus."
"They're no different than us, Edward."
"You're on the pill."
"It's not 100% effective."
"She wasn't even taking it!"
"She forgot a few days. That's all it takes."
"She's irresponsible. Alice never thinks of the consequences. She doesn't even know that this would do—"
"I think she does, Edward," I remind him softly.
We sit in silence for a few minutes. I grip his hand in mine and squeeze gently. We're all at war with the thought of an impending pregnancy and what it could do to everyone.
"I almost killed Jas."
"It's not his fault," I say before I can even think. "Well, I guess it sort of is, huh?"
I'm laughing my ass off while Edward gives me his best stink eye.
"You think this is funny?" he asks.
"Absolutely not. I can't imagine what Alice is going through. A baby? I would die."
He looks down and nods. "Not now, anyways."
"Agreed."
"Should I start wearing condoms?"
"Maybe."
He takes a breath and blows it out. "Fuck."
~!~
Edward and I are cuddled up on a log, talking about where we want to live when we're forty-five when my phone buzzes.
Holy fuck, Bella. If Em just did even half the shit Edward does, you're the luckiest fucking girl in the world.
I lean over to show Edward the text. He smirks and nods approvingly.
"What exactly did you teach him to do?"
He leans over and kisses me.
"That your pleasure gives me pleasure."
We're hand in hand walking back to his house. We're lit up by the crescent moon and twinkling of the stars.
"Rose is right, you know," I tell him.
"Hm?"
"I am the luckiest girl in the world."
Edward's smile is like having hot chocolate for breakfast. Then he whispers in my ear that no one will ever be luckier than him to have Isabella Pretty Baby Swan by his side and I pretty much die of love and happiness on his back-porch steps.
~!~
The rest of the night flies by. Jas and Al come back around midnight.
Walmart didn't have the same test, but I'm going to take this one in the morning.
I give her a quick nod and a small smile.
Rose and Em sit in the same spot as before, sated, doting, happy.
She pulled me aside earlier and raved about Em's new moves. I smile because they sound like a mediocre version of Edward's, but I'm glad she seems happy.
Jasper's a lot more relaxed as Alice sleeps on his chest.
Em and Rose are the next to pass out.
It's just me and Edward now. He lays us on our sides so we face each other, and he presses his lips to my forehead.
"I love your pink toenails and the smell of your skin," he whispers.
"I love the freckles on your back and your hairy legs."
I feel his smile stretch on my skin.
"I love your huge heart and the way you look at me."
I hug him tighter.
"I love you, Edward."
"Same."
~!~
I fall into a fitful sleep. I'm up at 1:03, then 1:39, then 2:07 when the front door opens. I hear Mrs. Cullen take her heels off and the silk tie loosen are Mr. Cullen's neck. I hear the pads of their feet make their way down the steps and fall onto the basement carpet. I can practically feel them hover above us.
"Do you think they're being safe?" Mr. Cullen asks. "Maybe we give them too much freedom."
"We were their age once, honey. We can't smother them with rules and restrictions."
"Maybe we should review safe sex practices."
"I think five times is plenty, Carlisle. Bella said she's using birth control, and we know Alice is. I've found condoms in both boys' rooms. What's next, abstinence? Like that'll ever work. Our parents couldn't stop us from doing it."
Mr. Cullen gives a soft laugh. "Oh, I remember."
~!~
The next morning, Alice taps my shoulder. It's barely light in the room, but she's up and ready.
"Come on, I have to pee so bad."
I rouse gently so I don't wake Edward, and shake Rose awake.
Alice runs up to the bathroom on the third floor for a little more privacy. I barely make it, and I'm definitely out of breath, by the time Alice is done peeing on the stick.
"Two lines means yes. One line means no."
Alice nods and sets her timer for 3 minutes.
"Jas said if we are, we are."
"So, keeping it?" I ask.
Alice nods. Her lip is between her teeth as she gnaws and gnaws.
"Does Jas rub your clit when you're fucking?" Rose asks trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah."
Rose makes a face. "Can you get off from just his dick, or do you need stimulation too?"
The timer goes off and no one moves.
Alice sighs, and picks up the test.
"One line," she whispers. "One line, what's that mean?"
"Negative."
"Negative," she responds. "No baby."
Alice blows out a long breath and sits next to me on the floor. The tile is cold under my pajamas, but I'll stay here all day if she needs me to. Accept, maybe tomorrow because today's Thanksgiving.
"Are we happy?" Rose asks.
"Very."
Still, we sit in silence until one of us has the energy to move.
"I gotta pee. You can either stay in or leave," I warn them, hopping off the floor.
"Wait, Rose, do you orgasm from just sex?" Alice asks, circling back to Rose's previous question.
"No, but Bella does."
"Shut the fuck up," Alice laughs. "How?"
"I don't know, it just happens!" I respond, hopping from foot to foot to hold in my pee.
"Guess my brother has a magic cock," she says with a shrug.
"He sure does," I call as Alice pulls the door closed.
~!~
Edward's still asleep when I pack up and leave, so I kiss his cheek and head home. It's just before nine and my grandparents haven't arrived yet.
"Late night?" dad asks.
"No, why?"
"I heard cars coming and going all night, that's why."
"Oh," I say. "Well, I think the boys were going places. I'm not really sure. Alice, Rose, and I were in the basement watching movies and eating apple pie."
I'm getting better at this thinking on my feet stuff.
Dad nods once and offers a "hmph".
I shower and dress and curl my hair. I want to look pretty for my grandparents, so I find the nicest dress I can, pair it with some tights, and coat my lashes blackest-black.
I feel good and happy and relieved.
Why didn't you wake me? I wanted to show you how thankful I am for Pretty B.
You can show me later, Edward.
I take a picture and send it over. We do this sometimes when we're bored or just relaxing. Usually it's me in sweats and my hair up, never this fancy.
You're so fucking beautiful.
I don't hide my smile all day.
~!~
Grandma and Grandpa Swan get here a little before eleven. Grandma hands me two bags and tells me to open them eagerly. The first bag is filled with a bunch of makeup from the drugstore. Peach and pinks and mauve colored lip glosses. Blush. Mascara.
"You didn't have to do that, grandma," I tell her with a kiss to her chubby, worn-from-age cheek.
"Nonsense. I know you love this stuff."
In the second bag is a pair of high-heeled booties. They zip up just past my ankle, and the black suede is softer than butter.
"Oh my god," I exclaim.
I sit on the couch and pull them on. The heel is a good three inches and my first thought is Edward's face when he sees me in these at school.
"So you like them?"
"This is the best gift anyone's ever given me." Except the one's from Edward, of course.
~!~
"So, Bella, who's your boyfriend?" grandma asks over a mouthful of corn and gravy.
I'm a deer in headlights. Grandma asks this every time she sees me, but now that mom knows and I'm a little more out in the open with my secret-from-dad relationship, it's a little jarring.
"Oh, you know, still playing the field," I joke back.
"You are, are you?" dad asks.
I roll my eyes. "Yes," I tell him. "Hasn't word gotten back to you? I'm about halfway through the football team right now."
Grandma laughs so hard she chokes. Grandpa shakes his head. Mom gives me big bug eyes. Dad's face hasn't cracked once.
"No, I didn't hear that," he retorts. "But I did hear a little something about you and the boy next door."
I roll my eyes. "Dad, not this again. I told you me and Jasper are—"
"I mean the other one," he says flatly.
I gulp.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh fuck.
I look to mom. HELP! My eyes plead.
"And wh-what exactly did you hear?" I ask a little less brazenly.
"Stuff, Bella. I'm the chief of police in a small town."
"Can I not have friends?" I ask.
"Not this kind of friend."
"And what kind of friend is that?"
Irritation replaces panic.
"The boy kind."
"Charlie," mom finally offers, stepping in.
"Renee," he warns.
"Charlie, she's sixteen. Don't you think maybe it's time we let her date?"
"Date?" dad questions in absurdity.
"At sixteen, I was on my third boyfriend!" grandma intervenes. "She's a beautiful young lady, Charlie. Give her some rope. Lord knows I gave you enough. You see these gray hairs, Bella? They started when he turned eleven. Eleven!"
We laugh quietly, joking about dad's younger years. His rebellious streak didn't end until after mom got pregnant with me.
Dad says nothing. He sits and chews. He stews for a long while. No one says anything other than "pass the turkey". I'm on my second plate when dad lifts his head to address me. I can tell he's been thinking. He barely touched his beer.
"You want to date, Bella?"
It's direct.
"Yes."
He chews his food with too much force. I'm not sure he was expecting that.
"Get a job first."
"What?"
"You heard me. Get a job. If you can date boys, you can work."
"So, if I get a job, I can date?"
"Yep."
"Anywhere?"
"Anywhere in Forks."
"Anyone?"
Dad gives me a look. "As long as I approve."
I groan and sit back. "Who does that even leave?"
"I'll let you know when I meet them," he says over a bite of turkey. "And I will meet them, Bella. And if your mother and I don't approve, that's the end of it, got it?"
I glance at mom and smile. She's smiling too.
"Got it."
~!~
After dinner, I help mom with the dishes while grandma puts the leftovers away. We're talking about school and mom's offering me places to apply but I'm too busy thinking about how I'm going to tell Edward the good news when dad's pager goes off.
He looks at it, furrows his brows, and grabs the home phone.
"I thought he was off today?" Grandma asks.
"He is. This must be an emergency."
I dry a few more plates before dad comes back. He's dressed in his uniform and kisses his mom goodbye.
"Something happened. I'll be back later tonight," dad tells mom, giving her a chaste kiss as well.
He ruffles my hair gently and leaves out the door.
Dad's siren starts immediately. That can't be good.
We play games with grandma and grandpa for a few hours. While it's fun and I enjoy hearing grandma's stories about how crazy dad was, there's an unsettling feeling in my stomach, almost like bad food, and not matter how much water I drink, it won't go away.
Grandma and grandpa leave, and minutes later, dad's cruiser turns down the block.
"Oh, he just missed his parents," mom says, opening the door for him.
He parks in our driveway, but when he gets out, his face isn't pleasant or happy to see us like he usually us. His face is stoic and hard. His lips form in a rigid line. He's being a cop right now.
I'm slightly confused as to why he crosses from our yard into the Cullen's, but he doesn't stop there. He trudges up their steps and raps four loud knocks on the door.
Mr. Cullen answers within seconds. He's dressed in dark jeans and a sweater. He smiles at my dad and though I can't hear, I'm sure he invites my dad in.
"Should I go over?" I ask mom.
"Not right now," she tells me. Concern laces her voice.
Dad enters the house and the door shuts and that's all. Mom ushers me back inside and the same sinking feeling as before now has me drowning.
What the hell happened?