Well, she wrote me a letter
Said she couldn't live without me no more
Listen mister, can't you see I got to get back
To my baby once-a more
Anyway, yeah

Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane
Ain't got time to take a fast train
Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
My baby, just-a wrote me a letter

The Letter - The Box Tops

The ring felt...strange. First, it was a little too big, and would slide around on her finger with every task and gesture. Edward told her they would have it resized before the wedding, assuming it didn't slip off and fall into a sewer grate or get swallowed by a whale in the meantime. What nagged her more than its size was the way it looked on her finger. It didn't look much like her hand anymore. The ring belonged to Edward's grandmother, and if his parents were any indication, she was a stiff, elegant matron like Aunt March, nothing like the girl who would inherit it. The many diamonds set into it sparkled brightly in the sunlight, such that it could have been used to signal airplanes, and it seemed to signal everyone else, too. It was becoming increasingly difficult to get through a conversation without their eyes straying away to her hand, the initial topic to be soon sidelined for the usual questions and congratulations, never to return. These conversations were especially exhausting. She knew from watching the other girls that she was supposed to be positively giddy and thrilled to endlessly talk about her fiance and the ceremony, but summoning that level of enthusiasm several times a day was too much, and she worried about either seeming insincere or halfhearted. After weeks of navigating this new minefield, she decided to give the ring a temporary home on a chain around her neck, tucked into her blouse.

To her surprise and relief, Mrs. Cullen was more than happy to take the reins. The rule was that the bride's father was supposed to pay for the wedding, but it went without saying that a simple 15-minute ceremony with cake and punch in the church's social hall would not do for Esme. Even though the pressure of planning and decisions was off, the thought of such a big fuss with herself at the center of it all turned her stomach. Edward advised to just let his mother do it. There was no doubt that whatever she picked would be beautiful, and giving her a job to do would make things easier for everyone. Edward was back and forth between Forks and Seattle too often to intervene on his fiance's behalf anyway.

Charlie was pleased, to say the least. Her mother, on the other hand, was less so. Bella realized that she was not an innocent in this; She hadn't phoned Renee since New Years, and several months of crickets was not the ideal setup for a call such as this. But, as her daughter was sticking to the agreed upon terms of her education, there was nothing for Renee to do other than offer polite, stilted congratulations and assurance that she would be there, rain or shine. Though it was somewhat expected, it did not stoke her aforementioned enthusiasm for the whole affair. There was little time to dwell on any of that however, as the whirlwind of school and wedding plans began to suck her in. Now, there was always someone around, whether it was Edward, or Alice, or the girls in their dormitory. The hole in her chest was less painful now, less nagging, and would soon hopefully just go away.

"Hello, Swan residence?"

"Bella, it's me."

Leah's husky voice was far more subdued than usual. She sounded breathless, as if she had run a mile to get to the phone. Immediately, Bella was consumed by dread. If she was lucky, she never would have heard from Leah again. That's what her brain told her, the logical, rational one that wanted to save her from herself, but in her heart, she knew she would never be whole without the truth, whatever that may be.

"They found him," she croaked. "He's alive."

In an instant, everything else fell away. Two little words rearranged the cosmos and set everything back to their rightful orbit. Nothing else mattered but this.

"Is he alright? Is he-"

"-I can't talk right now. Can you meet me?"

"Where?"

"First Beach," she said in a hushed tone. "Twenty minutes."

"I'll be there."

In classic Washington fashion, it was warm, but only in comparison to what had come before it. The sidewalks back home would have already started to sizzle in the afternoon sun, but here she was, blessed only with the foresight to grab a light jacket before dashing out the door. When she arrived, there was already a motorcycle parked in the gravel. It looked so lonely there without all the others, without a beach swimming with all Leah's kin. But there, pacing up and down along the gem-colored pebbles, was the she-wolf.

"Leah!"

The girl was thinner than she remembered, though her biceps had somehow grown in the meantime. Creases formed in the darkness around her eyes as she greeted Bella with a smile that threatened to turn into tears. It seemed that neither of them knew what to do. Their joy transcended the very idea of words, and after a moment, culminated in a contagious giggle of relief, a sound that had not escaped Bella's lips since she floated at the foot of the cliff.

"Come on," Leah said, taking her by the wrist and nearly dragging her to the driftwood. "I don't have that much time. Nobody knows I'm here but Seth."

"What will happen if the others find out?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "They don't want me to talk to you anymore. I think they're hoping that if we all stay away, you'll forget and move on."

A strong wind flew into them from the sea, making the chain turn cold around her neck.

"Is he alright?"

"Mostly," she replied. "He took a bullet in his leg. Rebecca said they told her it wasn't too bad and shouldn't bother him once it's healed."

"Oh, thank God."

"...But he's lost two fingers on his hand."

Bella landed hard on the log behind her, grabbing a splintered branch to steady herself, and Leah followed her.

"What happened? Where was he all this time?"

"Walked into an ambush, I think. We don't know much, only that they still can't find Jared."

"And their friend?"

"David," she answered. Her expression flattened into a grim stare that carried over the horizon. "They found him."

Bella looked down at her feet, her shoes caked in wet sand. Up and down, like a runaway elevator, with no indication of where it would finally stop. Her heart bled for Kim, who would be spending her days weeping with happiness for Jake, and her nights sobbing for Jared, watching any shred of remaining optimism diminish with each passing day.

"So...what now?"

"Now he comes home."

"Home," she breathed.

"Jake's healing pretty well, all things considered. Once he gets cleared by the doctors, they'll send him home."

"How long?"

"Not sure. It'll probably be a few weeks." She grew quiet, looking at Bella with something that might have been pity. "What are you gonna do?"

"You know, I told myself that all I wanted was for him to come home safe. I promised I would stay away and not interfere in everyone's lives again," she chuckled bitterly. "And I have...other promises to keep. This was what he wanted. This is what everyone wants."

"Not everyone," said Leah.

"What everyone needs, then."

'Will you at least talk to him?" Bella shook her head.

"I can't. If I do, I don't know if I can ever stay away again."

"...What if he doesn't want you to stay away?"

She had tried this before. Twice she had tried to be friends, to keep her proper distance, and to keep her heart out of it, and she had failed as many times. He let her. Whether it was intentional or not, he set her up to fail. Any trust she once had in herself was waning. Could she really keep herself in check? Could she honestly say that one look from him wouldn't send her tumbling back down, recklessly abandoning everything and everyone to be with him again? She squeezed her nails into her palm, wishing for the pain to bring her the clarity she so sorely needed.

A ray of blinding sunlight caught him right in the eyes, waking him so suddenly that he shot straight up in bed. He surveyed his surroundings, panting and wiping the cold sweat from his brow. The coast was clear; He was home. He fell backwards onto his pillow and yanked the blanket back up.

You're fine. You're on the rez. Your dad is one wall over. Your sisters are in the kitchen. There's no one else here.

For now. The house had been a revolving door of elders and relatives, his father's friends, and what must have been every other goddamn person in the tribe. He felt like a new baby, the recipient of a never-ending cavalcade of people, all here to whisper and question and speculate until he begged for deafness. If only Sam and Emily's baby could have held out a little longer.

Try as he might, he couldn't fall back to sleep. So many months of waking up before the crack of dawn had made sleeping in for more than an hour or two almost impossible. His lumpy mattress felt like a cloud after sleeping on the ground, or even after the hospital cot. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He didn't want to think about any of that. Though he knew it would be forever etched into his soul, he was determined to forget it all.

It was June again. A lousy excuse for the start of the summer, if you asked him, but even the most blistering heat that Washington could drum up was nothing now. Where was he a year ago, before it all happened, before vivid nightmares seized him every night? It was almost always the shop, fruitlessly attempting to rein in those rodeo clowns that he called brothers. The younger ones were out of school, weren't they? He nearly skipped his own graduation.

"It's good...that you're graduating."

The entire picture flooded his memory all at once. Bella, sitting on an overturned bucket, cigarette in hand, leaning against a bit of wall and smiling indulgently as she watched him and Sam struggle to get the electrical system working. He liked sneaking glances at her, even when she could see. She was so easily flustered. Some of it was his fault. It was so painfully cute to see her turn pink that he provoked it every chance he got. Flirting with her was just too much fun, and even then, despite her protests, he could see that part of her liked it too.

And then there was that bikini. Holy hell. Who put her in that thing? He needed to send them flowers. The sight of her long, slender legs, her chest, her back, was almost too much. Her arms around his waist on the ride home. The reflection of the bonfire in her big brown eyes as she laughed and danced with him under the fireworks. The first kiss. The last kiss. It was all coming back faster and faster, assaulting him with so many sweet things, once a fire and now a red-hot poker. It was time to get up before it got any worse.

The cycle repeated. Another day of his sisters fussing over him. Another day of people coming in and out. Most of them were inoffensive but for their presence. There were, however, a few impertinent, probing questions were beginning to send him over the edge. There were only so many ways to express how much he didn't want to talk about it. Billy was the only one who seemed to understand that peace was what he needed, but even then, he seemed unable to leave his son's side. And so there was no peace, not in waking, and certainly not in sleep.

"Jake!" Rachel called from the kitchen, covering the receiver with her hand. He didn't even hear the phone ring. "It's for you."

"Tell them I'm asleep," he groaned, leaning his head back against the chair.

"It's Leah."

He rose with a sigh and took it from her.

"What, Lee?"

"Wow, good morning to you too, sunshine. Is that any way to greet your savior?"

"What're you on about?" he grumbled, massaging his temple.

"I'm helping you escape, you ass. I've got a surprise for you at the shop."

He glanced about the room, watching his sisters scurrying back and forth, his father passed out in his chair in front of the blaring television set.

"What, do you want to sit at home with them all day?"

"Fine. When?"

"Right now. The sooner the better."

"Alright. I'll be over in a minute."

He hung up a little too hard. He stuffed his feet into his boots, tying them haphazardly before grabbing his keys.

"Where are you going?" Rebecca asked.

"Out," he grunted.

"Are you taking your bike?"

"Yes."

"Can you manage that?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because Rachel can-"

"-I said I'm fine, Becca!"

She ducked back out, looking hurt. Too bad. They were all getting on his last nerve.

He could handle his bike, kind of. His phantom fingers were still trying to grasp the handle, and the difficulty reaching the brake made him uneasy. His leg was still aching with the slightest use as well. It was probably fine. Feeling the wind in his hair would do him some good. It might even keep him from losing it at Leah for whatever practical joke she'd talked him into falling for.

He was right. The peninsula's characteristic gray skies were welcoming, an oddly comforting moment where things returned to normal. Just the road and the wind. His mood now leveled out, he found himself happy to see Leah, who was waiting for him under the shelter of the corrugated metal as a fine mist of rain settled over them. Stranger was the feeling of being hugged by Leah when she wasn't angry or crying, or sometimes both.

"So, what's this 'surprise' you dragged me out here for?" He craned his neck around in search of something out of the ordinary, but there was nothing.

"It's in the office," she said with a faint smirk. This couldn't be good. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the doorknob.

"Fine, but if this is some kind of joke-"

"Jake."

The soft murmur of his name caught him like a surprise fall of hot summer rain, drenching him down to the skin. It must have been another hallucination, another sad effort by his warped imagination to save him from a few minutes of crushing grief. A hallucination, or maybe an angel.

"Bells," he breathed.

And suddenly, she was his again. His arms around her once again, he found that even breathing felt easier, as if all the poison was being forced out by every breath. She squeezed him tightly around the waist, burying her face in his chest as she whimpered.

"You're home. You're home. You're home..."

So many hours were spent thinking about this while he was away. What would he do if he ever saw Bella again? What would he say? Now, anything he could have said sounded stupid and meaningless in comparison to this. Teardrops were still clinging to her eyelashes when she pulled away. She looked curiously up at him, until she zeroed in on something. Of course. He'd forgotten about the pink scar on his temple, a tiny little slice that he didn't even notice until it was being scrubbed out with alcohol by that sadistic nurse. Bella seemed to remember where she was again, and with a step back, began looking him over for any further damage.

"Jake, are you... alright?-No, I'm sorry. What a stupid thing to ask."

"I am now."

With his good hand, he reached out for hers, gently leading her back into his arms. He planted a kiss on the top of her head, and then, without thinking, on her mouth. She went rigid against him at first. A silent understanding hummed between them, eliminating the need for words or any further clarification. He shouldn't have done it, and she knew it too, but that didn't stop her from melting under his touch or from releasing her hitched breath to accept him, deeper, harder, more urgently.

He couldn't remember the last time he felt like this. It was hard to feel anything sometimes, and when he did, it was never anything good. Even his return home was marked by a reduction in bad, not an increase in good. But here, with her, he remembered what it was like to feel something. He clung to it, praying for just a little more time, his fingers threaded through her long chestnut hair, savoring the taste of her lips, before reality reared its ugly face again. He could feel her beginning to pull away, but that only made him hold her tighter. It always came too soon.

Please, just a little more.

"Jake, please…" she murmured, placing her hand on his chest. "I can't."

He retreated, his mouth now pressed into a hard line. Knowing he'd crossed a line made it hard to look her in the eye again, but the tiny knot forming in his throat wanted answers.

"Why not?"

She sighed. "You know why not," she mumbled.

"No, I don't," he pressed.

"Yes, you do. You left, remember? You left, and you told me to move on. We're supposed to be friends, Jake."

"Do you kiss all your friends like that?"

"That was a mistake," she said, her skin becoming flushed again.

"It didn't feel like a mistake."

She blinked, shifting uneasily as she was caught in a lie. Seeing inside her head used to be so easy. Then again, she used to let him in on her own. He hesitated, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer, but pushed ahead in spite of himself.

"Did you, then?" he asked.

"Did I what?"

"Move on."

The stillness was palpable. Every second that passed, he could feel the blood in his veins grow colder.

"I'm engaged."

His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. Engaged. The word echoed in his head over and over until it didn't sound like a real word anymore. For a moment, he wondered if he was going to be sick. What slimy son of a bitch had wormed his way into her life and convinced her to do this?

"Do you love him?"

'What?" she sputtered.

"It's a simple question, Bella," he replied in a low, dark voice. "Do you love him? Yes or no?"

"I-I don't know. Yes, in a way."

"What the hell does that mean? Are you telling me that you're going to marry this guy, and you don't even think you're in love with him?"

"No, that's not-"

"-Is that really what you want?"

"Who cares what I want!" she snapped, taking him by surprise.

"It doesn't matter. That's all I hear, over and over again. I can't have anything that I want without fucking up someone else's life. Any choice I ever had was an illusion, something that could be made and unmade by everyone but me, including you! I'm so tired." Her voice cracked. "So tired of watching all my hopes crumble, and I feel like an idiot for thinking it could have been different. You know exactly what I wanted, Jake, but now there's only one open path in front of me, so I can either take it, or spend every night crying for the life I almost had."

"Bells, that's not true. You don't have to. You're too smart to just roll over and take the first offer that comes your way." He pulled her in again, hugging her tightly. He hated being angry with her, if that was even the person he was angry at. No, it wasn't. He couldn't even say that it was her dipstick betrothed. He knew who the real guilty party was.

"I know you," he pleaded. "The real Bella would tell them all to go fuck themselves. She'd figure something else out and then do it."

"I tried." Her voice was a trembling whisper. "I thought I was strong enough, but I couldn't do it all on my own. I just don't have it in me anymore."

"Bells…"

"I should go."

She stepped away, dabbing at her eyes. She was still there, but her retreat had already left a vacuum that nothing else could fill. He watched helplessly as she opened the door, and finally, she looked up at him with a sad smile that sparked a pain in his chest greater than the one caused by her tears.

"I'm happy you're home, Jake."

And then, she was gone.

It was what he feared all along. He left her alone, surrounded by all these people that didn't really know her and didn't bother to try. A pointless exercise that led him right back where he started, and both of them worse off than before. Was this a self-fulfilling prophecy? And if so, was it born from cynicism or naivete? The whole thing was a trap that he'd seen dozens of people wander into, each time declaring that he was smart enough not to fall for it, that he'd never let that happen to him. But he did, hook, line, and sinker.

Bella was just as beautiful as he remembered, but the damage done was clear. She was thinner and paler than before, as though she hadn't seen the sunshine in years. Months of shivering with nothing to keep her warm. It was wrong. He was wrong. His physical strength was returning to him day by day, but his will to keep fighting had been stunted. The future ahead was simply a black tunnel with nothing waiting at the end, but with her, there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe there was still time to fix this. He always told himself that he wouldn't kowtow to this. He would fight if he had to. It was time to put his money where his mouth was.

A/N: Jake's back! I'm glad, too. We've all missed him. Now that he's back, some things are going to become impossible to ignore any longer.

I'm having some minor surgery done next week. I'll be pretty doped up for several days, so I won't be able to get any writing in. Even though I'm trying to get as much done beforehand as possible, it might be a little longer than usual before I post again. However, I think y'all are going to agree that this one is worth the wait.

Thanks for reading! Please like and leave your thoughts in the reviews!