Pony's POV
"Ponyboy?" Darry stuck his head around the door frame. "Dinner's ready."
"I'm coming." I threw my magazine on the floor and stretched before leaving my room. Well Soda's room. I hadn't been able to bring myself to clear out Sam's stuff and move back into mine yet. Soda and Darry didn't say anything, I think they understood.
After Darry and I talked at the park Soda had tried to make me talk to him about it but I told him the same thing; I was already over it. I refused to acknowledge anything that had to do with Sam anymore. People at work had tried asking all kinds of questions when they heard about the accident but pretty soon they got the idea I didn't wanna talk.
I walked into the kitchen and joined the rest of the guys at the table, the whole gang was here tonight, even Dally. When I looked down I was almost sick. It was sausages. Sam had made sausages the night I'd confronted the Socs.
Dammit! Did everything have to remind me of her? Couldn't I even enjoy my damn dinner without her ruining it? I sighed and stood up. I needed a drink, but when I opened the fridge door I frowned.
"Two-Bit, have you had any of my beer?" Two-Bit looked up from his food.
"Huh?"
"My beer. Have you taken any?" he shrugged and went back to eating.
"Yeah I had one this morning."
"Just one?" I asked sarcastically, "Cause there are two missing." Normally I really wouldn't have cared about the missing beer. It was just beer after all and Two-Bit and I always helped ourselves to each other's, but I was in the mood for a fight.
"Oh yeah I forgot," he said without looking up. "Sam had one too." Soda's fork clattered onto his plate and then there was silence. Two-Bit went right on eating.
"Sam was here?" Darry asked. "When?"
"This morning, she came to get her stuff."
"Good." I replied as I got my drink and resumed my seat. "then she's gone." I tried to pretend I didn't care but a sharp pain stabbed my chest when I said that,
"Yep, but not far," Two-Bit said with a mouthful of sausage before swallowing, "she's staying with me."
I choked on the mouthful of beer I was drinking and started coughing. Soda slapped me on the back as my eyes watered and eventually I managed to croak out; "What?"
"Yeah, she was gonna leave town but I convinced her to stay. I guess I should get home to her."
"What the hell for, Two-Bit?"
"I don't wanna leave her alone for long." he stood up.
"No I mean, why did you ask her to stay? Why didn't you just let her leave, it would have made everyone's life easier."
"You mean it would have made your life easier. I don't know how to break it to you, Ponyboy, but the world doesn't revolve around you!" Two-Bit was suddenly angry and I was taken aback. I'd seen him get fired up a number of times but I'd never had that anger directed at me. Suddenly he was yelling. "Did you see her body go flying when that car hit her? No. Did you see her lying limp in the gutter and think she was dead? No. Did you try and stop the blood as it poured from her head and stained the road? No. Did you hold her in your arms and beg her not to die on you? No. So you don't understand my reasons for doing this and I don't feel like explaining them to you! She betrayed you, Ponyboy, not the rest of us."
I couldn't stand there anymore. I couldn't stand to have him describe the accident or the fact that I hadn't been there. I definitely couldn't listen to him telling me she'd betrayed me, the one thing I was trying my hardest to forget. I didn't remember getting to my feet and I stood for a moment longer in the silence glaring at him before kicking my chair aside, storming to my room and slamming the door.
XXXX
Soda's POV
I think everyone was in shock at Two-Bit's outburst. He'd never gone into detail about the accident before and we'd never asked him either. I just assumed he'd gotten over it. I didn't realise how much it had affected him, was still affecting him, until tonight.
"Two-Bit, you wanna sit down?" Two-Bit shook his head at Darry's offer.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked and again he shook his head.
"No, I've said too much already. I'm sorry you guys, you didn't need to hear all that."
"Don't be sorry, Two-Bit, we're here if you need to talk you know." Darry suggested softly.
"What about Sam? What if she needs to talk?" Darry and I exchanged a glance and Two-Bit shook his head.
"Forget it. She was affected by all this too you know, more than anyone else." When nobody said anything he started for the door then turned to face us all. "Sam's gonna be staying with me for a while, if you don't like it then don't come round anymore." Then he turned and left. After a few seconds Dally got up and left too. I turned to Darry.
"I'll go talk with Pony." he nodded as I left the room.
XXXX
Two-Bit's POV
I stormed down the street toward home, angry at myself as well as Pony. I hadn't meant to get so fired up. I wished some Socs would drive by so I could let off some steam.
As I was contemplating going to Bucks to cool off I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and was surprised to see Dally of all people catching up with me.
"What do you want? If you've come to have a go at Sam in person then you can forget it." He just stared at me as we walked and I realised I was lucky not to have a broken nose for talking like that to Dal. I must have been more upset than I realised because he didn't say anything.
"It's like you said, she cheated on Pony, not me. Sides I thought I should see how she was doin'." I was trying real hard not to make some comment about Dally caring and he must have noticed cause he suddenly socked me in the upper arm and shook his head.
I rubbed my arm and tried not to grin, figuring I'd pushed my luck far enough tonight with Dal.
XXXX
Sam's POV
I was sitting on the sofa, channel flicking, trying to decide if I was bored enough to just go straight to bed when Two-Bit walked in, followed by Dally.
"How you feeling, Sammy? You eaten yet?"
"Yea fine, I just had a sandwich." I replied, eyeing Dally suspiciously. Two-Bit walked into the kitchen and Dally sat on the armchair across the room. I was feeling nervous, he was the only member of the gang I'd seen other than Two-Bit and I had no idea what he was thinking. Thankfully he ignored me so I turned my attention back to the T.V.
"How's the wrist?" I looked up to see him gesturing at my cast.
"Fine I guess. Why are you here?" Dally shrugged.
"Got tired of the Curtis', after the argument I thought I'd follow Two-Bit and hang at his for a while, got a problem with that?" I ignored his last jibe.
"Argument? About what?" He didn't say anything, just looked at me, looked toward the kitchen and turned his attention back to the T.V. I frowned and headed for the kitchen.
"Two-Bit?" I asked when I got to the kitchen, "Did you have an argument at the Curtis'?" He gave a non-committal shrug as he chewed on some chicken. "Two-Bit?" I pressed harder.
"It was nothing." He turned to the sink.
"Tell me the truth, Keith!" That sure got his attention. He spun around and frowned at me.
"How did you find out my real name?"
"The social worker at the hospital, she mentioned something about Keith Matthews being with me at the time of the accident. She told me." Two-Bit's face was blank for a few seconds before he glared.
"That bitch!" I burst out laughing, I couldn't help it. How absurd that after everything that had happened, this is what upset him. After I'd settled down I tried again to find out what the argument was about. Two-Bit kept claiming it was about beer. I knew he wasn't lying, but I knew he wasn't telling the truth either.
I hung out with Two-Bit and Dally for about an hour but eventually I went to bed. Dally was making me nervous and all I wanted to do was relax, so I headed to my temporary room. It was actually Karen's, Two-Bit's sisters, room but she was away for a few weeks. "Some relative of some friend of hers owns some ranch out somewhere, or something like that. I dunno." Clearly, I'd thought when Two-Bit told me.
Lucky for me Karen was obsessed with horses so I had a few weeks before I had to figure out my next move. Though judging by the amount of hair products and accessories on her dresser I thought Karen would be spending more time styling the horse's manes than actually riding them. It was entertaining images of horses styling perms that eventually lulled me to sleep.
XXXX
I woke up in the morning and jumped in for a quick shower before heading to the kitchen. When I got to the living room I looked up and gasped, my hand flying to my heart.
"Jesus, Dally!" He was sitting still as a statue on the lounge staring at me. "You scared me to death. What are you doing?"
"Waiting for someone to get outta the bathroom so I can take a piss."
I blushed and ducked my head, mumbling out "It's free now" before turning to the kitchen. As I cooked some toast I thought about Dally. Out of all in the gang he was the one I was most nervous to see. I knew they were good mates and I'd thought I'd get hammered by Dally for what they'd thought I'd done.
But he was acting like it was nothing. Like nothing at all had happened. Maybe he didn't know…what was I thinking, of course he knew! I turned to sit at the table when something in the doorway caught my eye and I gasped again. Dally was standing there.
"Stop doing that! You're like creeping Jesus." I demanded as I took a seat and started eating my toast. He turned to the fridge and grabbed a beer before sitting opposite me at the table. He just stared at me as I ate and I avoided looking at him.
He leaned over and grabbed a piece of toast and I retaliated after a few seconds by reaching over, grabbing his beer and taking a swig. He just smirked and shook his head.
"You've got guts I'll give you that. I thought for sure you would've split as soon as you left the hospital."
"I was going to. Two-Bit convinced me to stay."
"Yea I heard, just how did he manage that?"
"Two-Bit can be very persuasive when he's got a mind to." Dally raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. "Why haven't you started in on me?" I asked, "I thought for sure I would be getting a beating from you."
"You think you've got me all figured out, huh?"
"I thought I did but apparently not." I cocked my head to the side and waited, "Well?" I finally pressed.
Dally growled. "Because I don't really care, it doesn't concern me. Like Two-Bit said last night you betrayed Pony not the rest of us. Besides it's in the past, who cares?"
"I care. Your past defines who you are, Dally."
"That's bullshit. People define you by your past. They hear one thing and judge you cause they think they know you. But the past is the past, it's over, done and there's nothing you can do about it, nothing you can do to change anything. Maybe you need to focus on taking charge of your future."
I sat there in shocked silence. Of all the people I knew I never would have expected Dally to be the one to come out with something like that. I was about to reply when Two-Bit interrupted.
"Morning folks, anyone got any ideas on what we can do today?"
"I gotta split, Two-Bit, thanks for the couch." Two-Bit nodded and turned to find some food. Dally turned to me, "Nice chatting to ya." Then he left.
I sat puzzling over what Dally had said. People define you by your past. I knew Dally had a hell of a past. Did he get sick of people thinking they knew who he was, judging him for his past? Of course not, Dallas was proud of his past, proud of his reputation. He savoured the attention he got from it too, both good and bad. Take charge of your future. I wanted to change my life, to shape a future I could look forward to, but just how was I going to do that?
"Sam?"
"Sorry?" My head snapped up to find Two-Bit watching me.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, Two-Bit just lost in thought, what did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted to go out today, we could catch a movie, grab a bite to eat at the Dingo?" I shook my head at each offer, "We could swing by the DX?"
"No." I locked eyes with him and he could see I was serious.
"C'mon, Sam," his tone softened, "you can't be a recluse forever you know. You have to leave this house eventually."
"I know that." I snapped, "and I will, eventually, but not today. I'm still really tired, I'm just gonna stay in and relax some." I got up and headed back to my room before Two-Bit could say anything else.
XXXX
Darry's POV
I was drinking my coffee the morning after Two-Bit's episode when Soda came walking down the hall.
"Morning, Darry."
"Morning, Soda. You finish at 3 today right?" I rinsed my mug and watched as he started cooking some toast.
"Yeah, David's doing night shift. You gonna be late tonight?"
"Depends on the weather today, if the temperature stays below 110 we'll be out there for as long as we got sunlight."
"Make sure you drink plenty of water. I'll organize something for dinner then or get Pony onto it." He sat at the table to eat and I joined him.
"Speaking of Pony, did you talk to him last night?" Soda sighed.
"I tried, Dar, he just won't open up, not about this. He won't say anything to me."
"Well we have to get him to say something. It's not good for him to bottle it all up the way he does. Kid's just too damn stubborn."
"He'll be fine Darry, don't push him. Besides he's not exactly a kid anymore, he'll be 18 in under a year, a man."
"What kind of a man is he gonna grow to be if he doesn't face his problems? If he just hides from them like he has been?"
"He ain't hiding from them!" Soda's voice started to rise. "He'll be a great man we just have to be there for him is all." He rose to put his plate in the sink and I knew he wanted me to drop it but I just couldn't.
"Soda I don't think that's gonna be enough this time, he needs to talk about it so he can get past it."
"He's just dealing with it in his way; this is how Pony handles things, Dar, remember? He'll be fine." Now it was my turn to raise my voice.
"You think this is how he handles things? No, Soda, this is how he pushes it all away. When Johnny died this is exactly the way he was and I don't think he ever got past that do you? Or what about Mum and Dad remember them? You think he handled that situation well, that by shutting it all up he's dealt with it? I don't think so!"
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew I'd said the wrong thing. Soda stood there glaring at me with his hands balled into fists looking like he wanted to slug me. He glared at me a few seconds longer before storming down the hall to the bathroom.
I sighed and scrubbed my face with my hands, feeling wretched. Hell Soda didn't deserve for me to go off at him like that. He was just trying to do what was best for Pony, problem is so am I. I pushed back from the table and made my way to the bathroom, stopping the door from slamming closed behind Soda.
"Soda, I'm sorry about that. It was a stupid thing to say and I apologise, but we need to talk about Pony. It's really not good for him to try and push it all away, can't you see where I'm coming from?" I pleaded but he stopped me short.
"Let's talk about this later tonight, Darry, you'll be late for work."
"Okay then. I'll see you tonight, Pepsi." My peace offering was met with silence and I decided to let it pass. Let him cool off some before talking to him about Pony again. I sighed and headed to the truck, knowing I'd have this guilt hanging over me all day.