"Are you all right?" Cullen asked as he looked down at his charge as she laid on the floor of the Harrowing Chamber.

The woman's eyes fluttered slightly as she regained consciousness. A trembling hand lifted to push back her hair from her face as she felt several pairs of hands lifting her up from the ground to sit up. "I…I think so."

"Congratulations, young lady," First Enchanter Irving said as he stood in front of her. "You have passed your Harrowing."

She smiled as she allowed the templar beside her to help her to her legs. Legs weak, hands shaking as she stood up. The Harrowing took more out of her than she thought it would. Irving placed a fatherly hand on her shoulder, looking at her.

"You will be back to normal soon, Solana," Irving said. "You should go back to your quarters and get some rest."

"Cullen!" Knight-Commander Gregior called out from the chamber. "Escort Mage Amell back to her quarters."

Cullen nodded as he stepped up to the mage. "Mistress Amell, are you capable of going on your own? Will…um…will you need assistance?"

Solana looked at him, shaking her head. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

They walked quietly out of the chamber and down the corridor. Every now and then she would need to stop and rest her hand against the wall to regain her balance. The templar beside her would hesitate as if he wanted to reach out and help her but stopped each time.

As they reached her quarters, they paused. Solana turned to the templar and smiled.

"Were you there? During it all?"

"I..uh…yes. I'm, um, glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly."

Looking up at him, she smiled. "Why are you stuttering, Cullen?"

"What. I…uh…I'm fine," he said, reaching up to run his gloved hand over his neck. "I…uh. I'm just glad you're all right. You know."

Solana nodded. "Me, too. Would you really have struck me down if something happened?"

The templar's head lowered, a heavy breath escaping him. "I would have felt terrible about it, Solana. But…bit I serve the Chantry and the Maker, and I will do as I am commanded."

Looking down each side of the corridor, she turned back to him and motioned with a nod to her quarters. "Maybe we could go elsewhere and…" She stepped forward until they were painfully close. "Continue our discussion?"

She walked past him, running a finger across his chest as she moved around him. Cullen looked down the corridor, finding it empty. He followed her into her quarters and pushed the door closed. Solana ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands moved to her waist to kiss her deeply. Pulling away, he rested his forehead against hers.

"I was so worried about you," he said. "There for a moment…I…I wasn't sure if you'd come back."

Lifting her lilac eyes to his, she smiled. "There for a moment I wasn't sure I was coming back. It wasn't what I had thought it would be."

Cupping her chin in his palms, he continued to look down at her worried. "I thank the Maker that you were able to return. It would have been my duty to…"

"Kill me?"

Closing his eyes, his head slowly nodded. "Yes. It was my duty to make the final blow if you fell under control of a demon." He opened his eyes to look at her once again. "I don't know if I could have done it."

She placed her palm under his chin, rubbing her finger across his scruffy cheek. "I'm glad you didn't have to, Cullen."

Pulling her back in for another kiss, he held her tight against his body. Stepping back, he held her hand in his and squeezed gently. "I have to get back on duty before they come looking for me."

Kissing his cheek, she giggled. "Get back to protecting us mages, Cullen."

Walking to the door, he took the handle and looked back over his shoulder at her. "Get some rest, Solana. I will always remain here for you."

Solana smiled, running a finger down her black curls to push it behind her ear. "And I will be here for you, Cullen."

Being near Kinloch Hold was painful to him. Memories that he had wanted to push back in the deep recesses of his mind, behind the locked doors that he had created. But something Cole had told him crept back into his thoughts. Let her open the doors to help you close them again. It did not make sense to him.

Maybe there was something to the cryptic message that the spirit boy had given him. What it was he did not know. Especially now why did the spirit tell him the name of the desire demon that held him captive. Cole was most likely just trying to help him, but whey be so specific and tell him about the demon? Why tell him its name? Was there a reason for it all?

It still ate at him what Cole had said. Twice he mentioned the thing with the mask. Who wore the mask that was out to hurt the Inquisitor? Who was the bright light that took it away? He wished that he had been able to speak to Cole again, but he had not seen him before they left Skyhold for the journey.

Looking back over his shoulder, his eyes searched her out as she rode behind the party with Dorian at her side and Bull closely behind. When they first left the Spoiled Princess the other day she had been near the front of the party but over time she had fell further back to the rear with the mage and mercenary who stayed close to her side. Sighing heavily, he turned back to the road ahead. He knew that he had became distant right before they left. Shutting himself off from her when they were speaking with Oghren and his wife, Felsi.

When they camped that night, she had gone straight to her tent and stayed there. The next day, she was up and riding in the back again. He would need to speak with her once they reached Amaranthine. An apology would be a good start and a rather long explanation that would bring up some unpleasant memories.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"It makes no sense," Evelyn thought to herself. "The King isn't hearing anything and he's in Denerim. Oghren isn't hearing anything where he's at. Blackwall says he's not hearing anything either. But Stroud was. But all from or near Orlais are hearing it. Is it just certain Wardens? Is it where they're located?"

She kept playing everything that she knew through her mind. In between trying to figure out why the Wardens were disappearing. She knew she should be in the Western Approach right now, searching with Hawke and Stroud but she still needed to deal with this wedding. A wedding that she wanted nothing to do with.

"So…are you going to tell me what I want to know? Or am I going to need to make a scene?" Dorian asked as he looked at the woman riding beside him in silence.

Feeling the stares from the man beside her, Evelyn turned to look at the necromancer. "What?"

Frowning, he looked at her before turning back to the road before them. She had been riding near the rear of the party most of the day with himself and Bull riding behind her as back up. That morning they had continued on the Imperial Highway and he noticed that Cullen had taken point with his soldiers while she remained in the back with them. Varric was somewhere near the middle, telling stories just as he had been most of the journey.

"Why do I even try to talk to you?" Dorian asked.

"Because no one else will listen to you talk about utter nonsense all the time," Bull said from behind them.

Dorian lifted a fist into the air and raised a middle finger while keeping his eyes forward. "As I was so rudely interrupted by the mass of muscle back there." Looking at her, he continued. "Don't tell me you've ran him off already after one kiss."

She shook her head. "I'm fine, Dorian. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Would it have anything to do with the Ferelden ex-templar that's sitting up front?" he asked, cocking an inquisitive eye at her.

Her right shoulder lifted in a half shrug before repositioning herself on the saddle. "A little. Mostly about what's happening with the Wardens. What I'm going to do when I have to face my father again. Or when I have to face Sebastian."

"And what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Dorian. I need to get to the Western Approach and find out what the damned Wardens are up to."

"That's not what I'm talking about," Dorian said.

Shaking her head, she said, "I don't know. I guess if I must, I'll marry him. I mean, there's worse people I could have gotten betrothed to." She turned to him, searching for an answer. "Right?"

Dorian ran a finger over his mustache and clicked his tongue. "What beautiful children you would have." He lifted an eyebrow, turning to her. "That is if your Chantry brother has given up his vow of chastity."

"Really don't want to think about that one, Dorian." She shuttered. Turning to him, she shivered again. "I do mean I really don't want to think about that."

"And what of your father?" Dorian asked. "What are you going to do if you find a way not to marry Vael?"

"Probably get disowned," she said. "Not that it matters anyway. I'm the spare and a woman so it doesn't matter for my father. My entire future was to be married off to the first noble that wanted me or to shove me onto the Chantry or Templar order."

"Forced marriage," Dorian scoffed. "Been there."

She nodded. "I know, Dorian. I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories."

"Sounds like you both have daddy issues," Bull said.

Turning to look over her shoulder at Bull, she said, "That's an understatement."

"That's the nice thing about the Qun. We don't have parents or family," Bull said. "That way we don't have to deal with this shit."

Evelyn slowed her horse so she could ride alongside Iron Bull. "You don't know your parents? Or if you have a brother or sister?"

Shaking his head, Bull continued. "No need to know. We all have a purpose in life. We have sex only when necessary for breeding. No marriage, no emotions to mess with."

"Sex is just sex," Dorian asked.

"Sure it is," Bull answered. "Every now and then it's good to work off the frustration. Shake the sheets. Rattle the walls. Break a bed. As long as you use your safe words."

Evelyn's eyebrows furrowed as she looked at Bull curiously. "What do you mean safe words?"

Laughing, Bull turned to her. "You know, safe words. Something you say when you and your partner are busting windows."

"You're talking about…" She paused as she tried to wrap her mind around it. When she saw the smirk on Bull's face right before he winked at her, it finally hit her wheat he was talking about. The blush colored her skin from her neck up to her cheeks.

Dorian's jaw slacked a little as he turned to look back at her. "Cousin? Are you a – "

"Shut up, Dorian!" she shouted.

Her eyes turned away from the Tevinter mage when she felt the stares of several others from the party. A pair of amber eyes from the front met hers only for a second before she turned away embarrassed.

"Sorry," she said, trying to cover her face so no one could see her blushing.

Bull chuckled beside her. "We can talk about this later, Boss."

"I think you've corrupted her poor ears enough," Dorian said.

Evelyn pulled her hood over her head, to try to hide herself from more humiliation. Seeing the city gates of Amaranthine was not coming soon enough.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Amaranthine was a thriving coastal city on the edge of the Waking Sea and the Amaranthine Ocean. Farmers, merchants, tradesmen, sailors were busy moving around the city as they entered. They tried to look like everyday travelers as they entered the city. No banners, no insignias worn. They did not want to draw attraction to themselves.

They took the road up Pilgrim's Path from the North Road. Evelyn had wanted to travel to Vigil's Keep for more information from the Warden's that remained there but Oghren advised not to. He said the only person that would even speak to them would be Nathaniel Howe, but he had not been seen or heard from in years. Oghren said he would try to see if he could send word out to reach Howe, but he could not guarantee anything.

Varric mentioned meeting Howe in the Deep Roads with Hawke years ago. They were investigating red lyrium and mapping the area they were in during their expedition. The dwarf really did not add much to the story that he had not mentioned before or what was in his book about the Champion of Kirkwall. Evelyn wished she were able to talk to another Warden about what was going on. There was much more to this than what Erimond had admitted to at the Ritual Tower.

Once arriving in Amaranthine, Evelyn dismounted and turned the reins of her horse over to one of the Inquisition soldiers. Thanking him, she turned to look around the city. Growing up, she never had the chance to come to the city. Her mother was afraid of what she might see, saying it was too dangerous for her to be there.

Winifred Trevelyan had tried her best to teach Evelyn everything there was to be a proper, noble woman as she grew up. How to behave, what to wear, what to say and when not to speak. Her mother would be ashamed of her if she were alive right now if she knew that she was trying to avoid marrying to secure Ostwick's stability.

"The inn is to the north of here," Cullen said, stepping up from behind. "Just on the other side of the Chantry."

"I want to go to the Chantry before we set sail," she told him as she pushed the strap of her saddlebag up further on her shoulder. "Either tonight or tomorrow morning."

Looking at her, he scratched the side of his head. "I'll see what can be done." Seeing the look of insistence on her face, he sighed. "Yes. I will escort you to the Chantry."

"Good," she said as she turned and began to follow Dorian and Bull towards the inn.

The Crown and Lion was busy. People sat around the room at table, standing near the fireplace or by the bar. Evelyn weaved her way through the crowd to get to the innkeeper. Varric was already there, getting rooms and ordering drinks. As the innkeeper handed Varric a set of keys, she snatched one out of his hand and winked.

"Thanks," she said before turning away and leaving. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me, Varric."

Stepping forward, Cullen looked down at the dwarf as he turned to face him. "Has she said anything to you recently?"

Varric shook his head. "Not really. She's talked with Sparkler and Tiny but that's about it, Curly. Sparkler said she's distracted. Tiny said something that made no sense at all."

"What was that?" Cullen asked as his eyes followed her through the bar as she went upstairs.

Shrugging, Varric said, "Something about rose buds opening and whatever shit he was rattling on about." He looked up at Cullen. "I have no damn clue what shit Tiny's talking about half the time. All I know is my ass hurts from riding that nag all day. I need a drink, food, and a bed."

Cullen nodded as the dwarf passed him and walked away, leaving him there alone. Gathering his men together, he gave everyone their orders for the evening. Once everything that he needed to take care of was handled, he decided maybe now would be a good time to get some rest. Last night had been surprisingly restful. Only a few little memories crept into his dreams, but they were quickly pushed away. Varric's snoring did help as much as Cullen did not want to admit it. It prevented him from falling into a deep sleep where the dreams haunted him the most.

Picking up his bag, he walked through the bar to the stairs. He would be on second shift to make sure everything remained safe. He was not looking forward to the ride across the Waking Sea to Ostwick. His journey from Jader to Kirkwall was an uneasy one when he left Kinloch for the Gallows.

Blowing out a breath, he rounded the corner to look for his room. When he turned, he found a guard standing outside of the Inquisitor's room. His room would be directly across the hall from hers. When leaving The Spoiled Princess, he told himself that he was going to speak with her about Kinloch however the further away they got he changed his mind. Partly out of fear telling her about his time there, about what happened. He knew if he wanted to have a relationship with her after she was free from her betrothal, he would need to tell her all. Just not right now. Nearly ten years was still not long enough for him.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It was dark when he woke up, trying desperately to catch his breath. His lungs struggled for air, feeling as if he had been smothered. Eyes widened, hair slick with sweat that trickled down his forehead. Cullen's body trembled. Looking around the room, he tried to familiarize himself with where he was. Finding Varric, snoring on the bed across the room from him, he slowly began to remember where he was.

Wiping the sweat off his face with the sleeve of his shirt, Cullen tossed the sheets off his bed and sat up. Slowly feeling more alert, he stood up on shaky legs and began to get dressed. Quietly, he left the room. Pausing, he saw a light beneath the door of the Inquisitor's room. The new guard was on duty greeted him as he exited his room.

"Commander," the woman said as she saluted him. "All is well, sir."

Sliding his arm into his cloak, he nodded. "The Inquisitor?"

The guard looked down at the crack between the door and floor before turning back to Cullen. "Appears she is still reading, sir. William said she took a meal in her room and has inside since I took shift."

"Thank you, Chola." He stepped forward to the door, nodding at the guard. "I'm going to discuss plans for tomorrow's travel. Why don't you go grab a bite to eat? I think I had heard that the kitchen will still be open."

"Thank you, sir," she said, nodding her head slightly before leaving.

Standing in front of the door, Cullen lifted his fist to knock but hesitated. Lowering his arm back to his side, he ran his hands through his hair and took a long, deep breath. It was too late to call Chola back to return to her post. He needed to commit to his plans even though he was not sure what those plans were. Just as he lifted his fist a second time to knock, he heard a voice from the other side of the door.

"Come in, Cullen. Or are you just going to stand there?"

Wiping his sweaty hands down his trousers, he reached out for the doorknob and turned it. Pushing the door open, he found her sitting on the bed with the blankets over her legs. A candle burning on the bedside table as she held a book in her hands.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Cullen said as he stepped inside and shut the door. "I saw the light on…"

"Wanted to discuss travels tomorrow?" she said, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Returning the ribbon to her book, she slowly closed it. "What do you want, Cullen?"

He lifted his eyes to look at anything but her as she sat on the bed in nothing but her nightgown. "I…I honestly don't know."

Evelyn tilted her head to the side, looking at him shift nervously as he stood there. Blowing out a huff, she patted the bed beside her. "Come here."

"I don't think that's – "

"Don't care, Cullen," she said as she wagged a finger at him. "Sit."

Walking over to the bed, he started to sit down on the corner until he told him no and pointed to the space beside her. Slowly nodding, he moved to the head of the bed and sat down. His eyes still facing away from her, staring at the wall.

Evelyn stared at his back, frowning. Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "What can I do for you, Cullen?"

Clearing his throat, Cullen ran his sweaty hands down his thighs to try to dry them. "We've secured passage on a boat named The Morningway. Captain Aigar will be waiting for us midday."

"Uh huh," she said, opening her book again.

"He said that it should be a couple days journey to Ostwick. He believes the weather will be on our side."

Turning the page, she continued to read. "Uh huh."

"This time of year is mild in the Marches. We should make good time through the mountains."

Evelyn brushed back her hair from her face, turning the page again. "Uh huh."

His eyebrows furrowed as he turned around, angry. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Um…yeah," she said, still looking at the written words of her book. "Something about weather and mountains."

Turning around on the bed, Cullen took the book from her and snapped it closed. "You have not heard a word I said."

Turning her head, she faced him. His amber eyes glared back at her as she looked at him. "Now you know how I felt when we left the inn two days ago. I tried talking to you about all of this the other day, but you shut me off."

Cullen had not really looked at her when he came into her room. He had been focused on everything but her. He watched as she blew out a heavy puff of air as she ran her fingers through her long, brown hair that hung down over her shoulders and back. He never noticed the subtle curls in her hair before. Or the red highlights blended with the brown in the candlelight. The emerald of her eyes looked darker in the pale light.

Tossing the sheets off her legs, she sat her book down on the table and stood up. Walking to the chair across from her, she picked up a robe and slide it over her arms and tied the belt around her waist. Evelyn turned back to see him standing up and walking around the bed. "Look, Cullen. I don't know what you want – "

"I want you to kiss me," he said, quickly narrowing the distance between them and reaching out his hands to cup her chin in his palms.

She leaned forward at his urging and was about to kiss him when she stopped. "What are you trying to tell me?"

Pulling away, he stared down at her surprised. "What?"

Placing her palms over his scruffy cheeks, she gazed up into his emerald eyes. "You want to tell me something but you're afraid to. What is it?"

Lowering his head, he rested his forehead against hers. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply her scent. "I have so much to tell you, but I just don't know how." His eyes opened to stare into hers once again. "Or if I told you, would you still remain."

Running her thumb across his cheek, she smiled. "Sadly, you're stuck with me until we defeat Corypheus or you find a better job. I mean, I heard King Alistair's looking for a new captain of the guard."

"Maker, no. Templar training with him was more than enough time I want with him."

Pulling away, she looked at him. "You trained as a templar with the king?"

Nodding, he said, "Yes, sadly." Kissing her forehead, he continued. "But that is not what I need to talk to you about."

"Come and sit with me and we can talk," she said as she took his hand and lead him to the bed. When he hesitated as they approached the bed, she turned back to look at him. "I'm not going to stand here and talk. Sit here and hold me. Talk to me about whatever you want."

She took her robe off and draped it over the chair before climbing back onto the bed and pulling the blankets over herself. Pointing to the spot beside her, she patted the bed as she drew back the blankets.

"Sit, Cullen. Talk to me."

Nodding, he climbed into the bed beside her and allowed her to pull the blankets up over his legs. Resting his back against the wall behind him, he wrapped his arm around her back to pull her to his side. Kissing the top of her head, he smiled when she leaned into him to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Where do you want me to begin?" he asked.

"Wherever you feel comfortable with," she answered, wrapping her arm across his body to snuggle closer to him.