We all went to Emily's house. Sam led the way. He still didn't say anything about what I had said to him. Everyone was trying to talk to him except me and Leah who were giving him his space. His mind was completely blank. Occasionally, he would think of Emily in the shower, but that was just to get us to shut up.
We got to Emily's house and we all phased out, and got dressed. Leah let me borrow her clothes again.
"Okay, so I owe you three outfits from Target now," I said.
She laughed. "Just take care of Sammy, and Bella, I guess. We will call it even."
I grinned, "okay."
"I can't believe Sam kept the secret from us. I can't believe he could keep a secret from us."
I sighed. "I told him to tell you, Emily, and Jared that he was suicidal and give you a copy of a piece of paper so that y'all knew what to do if he ever well… felt bad. I take it that didn't happen."
"He said nothing to me or Jared," she said. "He could have said something to Emily."
"We need to check his meds," I said.
"He's on meds?" she asked.
"How did he hide that from you?" I sighed. "God, he's worse than Bella."
After we changed, we went into Emily's house. All of the boys were there standing in the kitchen and the living room. Sam was holding Emily. I came in and leaned on the refrigerator, and Leah stayed in the doorframe. Then above Leah's head I saw the clock on the wall.
"Christ, it's not even ten fifteen," I said.
Rachel laughed.
"I thought it was like three in the morning," I said.
"You want some coffee?" asked Emily.
"Yeah," I said.
She poured me a mug. "How do you like it?"
"A shot of milk please."
She grabbed a half pint of milk, and poured it into the coffee. Then she put the milk up and handed me the cup. I breathed it in, and then took a small sip. It was delicious.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"Is Bella going to be alright?" asked Rachel.
"Charlie is going to keep an eye on her, and Edward is too. He is going to text me when she is up and lucid and we are going to talk. I don't think she needs a hospital."
"That's good,'' said Emily.
"That took you from three thirty in the afternoon to ten fifteen at night," asked Kim. "You spent seven hours figuring out that she was off her pills and didn't need to go to a hospital."
"No we were at the Swan house thirty minutes to an hour," I said.
"Oh," said Emily. "Then where the hell were you guys? We have been worried sick."
"Well," I said.
"Pack business," said Sam.
"Well we know that!" exclaimed Rachel. "What were you doing? Was there a vampire in the area?"
"No, we just had an impromptu therapy session that lasted a little over four hours," I said.
"What's going on?" asked Kim.
"Nothing," said Sam. "We just needed to get some stuff off of our chests," he said, kissing Emily. "Sorry to worry you."
"You're lying," said Emily. "You kissed my nose, then you kissed my scars. You only do that when you're nervous or somethings wrong."
"What the hell is going on?" asked Rachel.
"Well," I said. "Sam is partially right. We had a therapy session and a lot of the pack got things off their chest. But, Sam told us that he has tried to kill himself before."
By this time, all of the packs were by their imprints. So, Rachel clutched Paul's hand with a death grip, and Kim just covered her face and turned into Jared's chest. But who I was watching was Emily. She was putting dishes in the dishwasher and for a second she acted like she did not hear what I said, but I knew that she did.
Finally, she cleared her throat. "When did this happen?" she asked.
"When you were hurt," he said softly.
"You came to me and asked if I would let you die," she said, still not looking at him. "And I said no."
"I finally had to try something," he said.
"What did you do?"
"Tie rocks to my feet and jump off the cliffs. There was a storm coming up so I figured the current would drown me."
"Where was I?"
"You were out of the hospital. You didn't want to see me cause I broke up with Leah."
"So you obviously didn't die. What happened?"
"I washed up on shore and cut the rocks off. Just kind of laid there for a minute, then I went home."
"You kept it from everyone?" she asked. "Your mom? Billy? Harry?"
"Serina was the first one who figured it out."
"Why did you keep it from me?" she asked, turning around. There were no tears in her eyes.
"I didn't want you to have guilt," he said.
"Try again."
He took a deep breath. "I didn't want you to treat me differently."
"Try again."
He sniffed, and rubbed his eye. My heart broke for the kid, but he needed to get this off his chest. Finally, he choked out, "I didn't want anyone to stop me if...if I needed to try again."
Emily went over and put her arms around his neck, even though she had to stretch to do it. She kissed his cheek and then his lips.
"You still want to die," she said.
"Sometimes," he whispered.
"Okay honey," she said. "Let's get Billy over here, and we can figure this out."