Alice still sat curled up under the counter in the doctor's office. She was really tired. The constant thoughts of how she could make Zelena understand that she didn't want to be there any more and the fearful, racing thoughts had exhausted her. And every time she thought that whatever was going on was over, she'd been proven wrong. This felt the same way as every time mother would stop punishing her just to tell her to explain why she was being punished and then would just keep hurting hurt only after she'd had just long enough to believe it was over. Alice tried to make herself even smaller as she clutched onto her toy. If they didn't see her, maybe they'd just give up and leave her alone.
"I know, I know it's scary," Zelena offered her comfort. Alice looked so scared. She looked miserable, sitting and clutching her toy as she tried as hard as she possibly could to be as far back in her hiding place as she could. Zelena figured Alice could use a distraction. "Do you want to draw while we wait or do you want to do something else?"
Alice nodded. She wanted to draw. [Don't make me talk.] Alice silently begged for Zelena to understand what she wanted.
"You want to draw?" Alice nodded. "Okay, I'm going to get your drawing stuff out of my bag, is that okay?" Alice nodded, but still flinched as Zelena did what she said. Zelena set it on the ground so Alice could grab it. Alice grabbed it and pulled it into her hiding place and worked on what she wanted to draw.
Alice sat and drew until the door was again pushed open. Alice flinched. She usually liked doors. Usually she could play with them and watch and listen as they moved back and forth in a way she found interesting and calming. And sometimes Archie came through the door. And she used it to get to the car, and the diner. She didn't like it right now. Strangers that didn't understand her or even try to listen to her kept coming through. And scary things had happened. She didn't want to hear this door open. She wanted this over. Luna sat watching as Alice refused to come close enough to the edge that Luna could help her.
Zelena glanced at the newcomer. A woman with long, dark hair.
"I was warned this needs to be handled gently," she adressed Zelena.
"Hey, Alice, you're almost done. Can you come out of there, please?" Zelena coaxed Alice out of her hiding place, she crawled out of there, still clutching Bear as if somehow he'd make everything better. And he did.
"Alright good job."
Alice glanced up at Zelena. Okay, if she was saying good she was probably not going to hurt her right then. She should be fine.
Alice still darted her eyes around the room, walls , doors, really good drawings with a lot of words on them that must have been written by someone that wrote so much better than she could, the weird bed she didn't want to get on that had nothing she could use to make it, chairs, right new person. Alice looked at the stranger for a moment. Her eyes went even wider then usual. She looked so familiar. She knew she wasn't her mother. She understood that. But she looked so similar. Some of her hair was down and other parts were tied into dark braids. Alice panicked. She looked like the person that hurt her the most. And this place wasn't safe!
Alice shook her head violentally and pulled her legs up to her chest. "Sorrysorrysorrysorry." Alice launched into a series of apologies far more panicked then Zelena had ever heard. Luna's attempts at calming her were the opposite of effective for once. She gently pushed her away. She didn't want her to be hurt too. She could handle it. Alice was trying to be strong enough to handle it on her own. She needed Luna but didn't want anyone else to be hurt because she'd done something wrong. The more she panicked, the less clear it became to her that the woman that looked similar to her mother wasn't her mother.
" . badthingagain. .iwon't." Alice kept panicking, not really giving the things going on around her any regard.
Zelena, Robin, and the phlebaromist all watched with varying amounts of horror as Alice continued to panic.
Alice quickly lost herself in one of her memories. She was still not sure what was stopping everyone around her from treating her the same way she'd been used to.
Alice was sitting chained next to mother's bed. She'd managed to hold back the tears despite all the awful things she'd heard mother say about her as she tightened the restraints before she'd gone to bed. Alice had tried to get some sleep, given that even her worst nightmares were less painful than her waking life. But the part of the restraint that clung tightly to her wrist dug into her skin so much that she just couldn't get comfortable. So she'd stayed awake. And made sure to be extra careful not toncry because the chsins would rattle mother awake if she tried to remove the tear stains showing that she'd done so. She didn't deserve to cry. She deserved the pain. Mother had said that plenty over the years. Amongst other things. The rules mother had Alice tried to follow. But it was hard. Sometimes she coulsn't help but want to tell mother about something she'd seen out of the window. To ask her what things were. Alice knew she wasn't allowed to do those things. But she was a child and just couldn't help herself sometimes.
Mother woke and Alice flinched as she stirred.
Mother let out some kind of sound of disgust. The same feeling Alice had about the potion mother used to make her drink. She hadn't had to in a while.
"You're here. Right. You did something that earned this punishment. What was it?"
Mother always asked her why she was being punished. How was Alice supposed to know that this time she'd genuinely forgotten and didn't actually want an answer? Mother struck her.
Alice winced away. Her small frame's attempt at shrinking away in fear halted by the chains she was in. She didn't like these. They hurt her wrist and mother was so close she could hurt her. Sometimes she's wake her by hurting her. Those days were the worst. But she was safe from them as lomg as she was in her corner of the tower.
Alice shook head, trying to clear ot of the memories and the fear she had of the new person. [Go away.] Alice looked at the women, who was still standing. So no matter how Alice looked at her, she appeared to be so much stronger then her. Alice had tried when she was really little to follow mother's rules and hurt her too. But that only made mother hurt her more. And she'd run away. And now mother was here in this scary place. The ways she communicated with Zelena and everyone else wouldn't be worth the pain.
Alice continued the mutter apologies at anyone that would listen.
Zelena crouched down next to Alice.
"Hey, you're okay."
Alice shook her head again. She wasn't listening. She was too panicked and too distracted to. "Alice,you're okay."
Alice completely ignored her. She couldn't concentrate on anything besides the perceived fact that her mother was in the room too.
"I'll try," the woman offered.
Zelena shook her head. "She panicked when she saw you, hang on."
Zelena turned back to Alice. "Look, come on look at me. You're okay." Zelena spoke in a calming tone for a few minutes and when itbdidn't work stopped to think a minute. There had to be a way to get through to her.
"Mom, the lights. Flick the lights."
Robin's suggestion seemed like it was the best chance they had. She didn't seem to be responding to anything else, even Luna had been forgotten the moment Alice had seen this particular stranger. There was something about her that frightened Alice beyond her normal amount of fear.
"Good idea."
Robin got up and went to the light switch and started flicking them up and down.
It took a minute but Alice blinked, noticing the change. She liked when lights did that. She stared at the light as Robin continued to mess with the switch.
Zelena let Alice watch the light as she finally let Luna crawl into her lap. The pretty light was a distraction. But not one that could last forever. Robin stopped and Alice blinked. She wanted that to keep going but wasn't going to ask for it.
"Okay, I know it's scary, but do you think you can listen to this woman for a little bit? I'm right here. You're going to be okay. You have Luna. Pet her and it's okay," Zelena talked Alice through the fact someone else was in the room. Alice clutched Bear a little tighter. She wanted the toy to protect her. She always felt safer when she was holding something. She didn't know why. It was just one of the only comforts she'd had when she was young. At night, she could hold onto one of her blankets, the only things that were hers. That mother didn't care if and when she touched. And then the pain could be forgotten for a little while. She didn't even have anything from the tower any more. But she was still scared. Why couldn't the fear go away the same way the blankets had? And be replaced with something better? She liked the stuffed toys that had taken the place of her old blankets.
"She's just going to walk over a little bit and sit down..and explain what she needs to do. Is that okay?"
Alice nodded. She didn't want this but she didnd't have a choice. Mother was already going to be angry. And in Alice's mind this woman was her.
The woman sat down. "Hi, you're okay. Do you think you can show me your arm?"
Alice winced away. [No. No. No. Sorry. Don't want.] Even Alice's thoughts were hard to understand. She couldn't take this any more. She just wanted whatever mother wanted to do to her over and done with so sje could go to sleep. [Make her mad. Do something you knlw will make her mad..it's bad when you drop things.]
Alice threw bear as hard she could. He went further then he normally managed to.
"That's okay, someome can grab your toy for you in a second."
Alice blinked. That was wrong. Why was she doing this? Why couldn't she just hurt her and then be done with it? She'd never said anything Alice had done was okay! Alive was even more frightened now.
Alice blinked. Screaming or crying or showing any kind of signs that she was in pain were also wrong. And mother would be angry then. Then it'd be over with. Wouldn't it?
Alice let out a scream that no one had been expecting. Nothing had even happened yet, and Alice didn't so much as groan when in pain. The scream wasn't actually all that loud, Alice didn't have the strength in the muscles required for that. But it was still a scream.
"Okay, Alice," Zelena adressed her. "I know it's frustrsting. Whatever it is. I can help you. You just need to let me, okay? Can you tell me what's wrong?"
Alice shook her head. Why didn't Zelena understand? The person that hurt her nesrly evsry day foe as long as she could rememeber was in the room with them. And no one was doing anytjing about it. They'd let her come nesr her. They weren't safe. Nothing was. No one was.
Alice let out another scream. No one actually cared about her. No one ever had. Mother had been right.
"Hey, it's okay. You're okay. Whatever's bothering you, is okay. You can feel how you feel. But you need to try to get through it."
Alice nodded noncommitedly. "What's wrong?" Robin tried asking. Alice tended ro be the most willing tontalk to her or Archie.
"Motherhurt." Robin immediatly got what she thought Alice was trying to say.
"Your mother isn't here Alice, she can't hurt you."
Alice muttered it even quieter. "Motherhurt." This time with a more pointed glance in the direction of the phelbotomist.
Zelena's eyes went wide. They had no idea what Alice's mother looked like, but given the currentsitiation she'd wager a guess that the woman had incredibly dark hair. Which would explain some of why Regina had struggled to get Alice to so much as look at her fsr more than anyone else had.
"Does this woman remind you of your mother?" Zelena asked. Alice shook jer head. She was her mother and she wasn't hurting her. Which didn't make any sense.
"Is."
"She's not your mother, Alice. Your mother is gone. She can't hurt you amy more." Zelena wasn't actually sure what had happened to that particular evil but it wasn't all that important.
It took awhile but Alice calmed down and Zelena stepped into the hall with the woman.
"I'm sorry, it's nothing personal. I'm sure you're wonderful at your job. But you're not going to be able to get anywjere near close enougj to her to do it without it destroying her. Can we have someone else try? Preferrably Ryan if he knows how to do this. Alice got along with him."
The woman agreed and left to go find Ryan. Who came back with a cart fulled with vials and needles. Things that the original phelbotamist had left in the hallway to attempt to give Alice a chance to see her as nonthreatening first.
Zelena and Ryan had a conversstion out in the hall first.
Zelena glanced at Ryan's bucket of things she was sure were likepy to bother Alice.
"Please tell me that's the last thing you need done," Zelena was exhausted. Making sure that Alice was as safe as she could be was a massive undertaking. One Zelena was happy to do, but she was so tired. She just wanted to go back home and sleep for a little while.
"This and a urine test," Ryan informed her. "It dpesn't sound like she'd been drinking enough water. Need to check for damages to the kidneys."
Zelena groaned. Alice had gone to the bathroom before they'd left the house. She hadn't drank any liquid at all since then. And she can and would just hold it in for long periods of time. She avliding drinking as often as she shoild. Something everhone had been trying to get her to stop doing but it didn't seem to be working so far.
They went into the room and Alice flinched her eyes finding the door the moment it opened. She was still scared about the last person that had entered the room. She noticrd it was Ryan and calmed down a little. He'd been gentle, and shown her what was going to happen first.
"Ok, here's your toy," Ryan told her picking up Bear and extending him as a peace offering. Alice took her toy and hugged it as Ryan sat down in front of her. "Alright, I know it's beena pretty rough day. Do you think you can get through this a little longer? I brought stickers."
Alice nodded.
"Cab I see bear to show you what I need to do?" Alice agreed and let Ryan take the toy from her for a moment. "Do you see this little ketal bit?" Ryan asked showing Alice the needle. He pretended to inject Bear with it.
Alice shook her head. She hated when things touched her arm. And that that was going to hurt. "And then there's one I have to do where I'll take a little bit of blood. It doesn't hurt."
Alice was sure he was lying to her. It was going to hurt and she'd been lied to. She'd thought getting in the car meant she'd go places that she liked. Not go somewhere where she spent all day scared and in pain. If she wanted that she would have just stayed in the tower.
"Do you think you can do it?" Alice nodded. She didn't want to.
"Sorrysorrysorry." Alice tried apologizing for it, it made her feel better knowing whatever punishment she was going to get would be a bit smaller.
Robin realizwd alice assumed that the shots she needed were because she'd done something she viewed as wrong.
"It's not a punishment, Alice. Everyone needs shots sometimes. Even me. I need my flu shot, actually. Ryan?"
"Ok." Ryan gave Robin a quick flu shot, with Robin talking to her the hole time. "It just stings for a second. And you don't have to use a bandaid if you don't want to. But they have some with pictures of flowers on them."
Robin also had the nurse draw her blood so Alice saw how that would work. The vaccines were the easiest part. The minute Ryan pulled out the piece of plastic to find a vein Alice panicked more. But Robin explained that it'd only be on for a few seconds and that she was more than welcome to squeeze besr as toght as she needed to if it made her feel better. And it did. Ryan struggled to find a vein in between the dehydration and the fact alice was holding onto her toy as tight as humanly possible but he managed.
"You did great," Ryan told her, letting her pick out another sticker. "I know that was hard."
Alice wanted this to be done.
"I just need one more thing from you," Ryan admitted. Alice stared at him for a momdnt then quickly averted her eyes. "I just need you to use the bathroom for me. Orrferabbly in a cup."
Alice blinked. She didn't need to use the bathroom. Like at all.
"I know you probably don't need to go yet so, I'm going to go get a bottle of water for you to drink." Ryan got up and walked out of the room.
Alice didn't want to drink the water he said he was bringing back. What if it had a potion in it? What if no one told her she could go to the bathroom? She didn't want to. But she had to, didn't she. Ryan returned and set the bottle in front lf Alice. Who stared at it. Maybe of she looked at it long enlugh, ot'd just go away.
"Hey, it's okay," Robin told her. "Just drink that, go to the bathroom, and then we can go home or gondo whatever you want to do." Alice was tempted. She could go home. And sleep. And not have to think about pain for a few hours. And she was tired enlugh that of the water made her fall asleep, she waa okay with that.
Alice picked up the water and drank it. Getting the lid open took her someneffort even though itwas akready fairly loosened.
Once Alice had finished drinking Ryan told her he'd be back in a little while. Alice sat and pet Luna. She hated when she had to drink anything. She'd done it. She felt fine.
It took a while but Ryan came back. "Okay, do you think you can give using the bathroom a try now?"
Alice nodded.
"Do you want to go by yojrself or do you want me toncome ekth you?" Zelena wanted her to come with. She dodn't want to do it wrong. Ryan had said she had to pee in a cup. She didn't knlw what that meant.
Alice nodded and pointed at Zelena. "Alright."
Zelena let Luna guide Alice behind her and they made it to their destination.
Ryan handed Alice a small cup and explained what she needed to do. Alice thought it soujded really difficult. But she could try.
"I'll be right out here if you need me, okay" Zelena was trying so hard to let Alice have ant independence she could get. She relied on everyone else so much and it was impossible to knlw how much or how little she wanted that help.
Alice went into the bathroom and tried as hard as she could to do what was asked of her. She couldn't figure it out. Alice sat down on the floor and pulled her kmees up to jer chest. Luna laid in her lap. Alice was exhausted. It'd been a long day. She drifted off to sleep.
Zelena waited for a while and qhen Alice didn't exit the bathroom decided to go check on her.
"Alice, I'm coming in."
Zelnea walked into the room and saw Alice asleep on the floor. Alice had a hard time doing a lot. She didn't know how, and Zelena was sure her refusal to drink often wasn't helping.
Zelena woke her up and Alice groggily offered apologies. Likely for something that happened a long time ago.
"You're okay. It's okay. " Zelena went and found Ryan and told him what had happened. They mamaged to find a differemt way tonget what they needed and Ryan adked that theyvretirn to thw exam room and wait for the results.
Alice curled up in her earlier hiding spot and fell back asleep.
A doctor barged into the room with a bucked filled wkth more medicsl tools then Zelena had even expected.
"What is all lf thst fot?" Zelena asked.
"She's severly dehyrdated and has a serious defincoey ofna few key vitamins. She needs a lot of iv fluids. This is a portable thing youbcan take home with you." Even zelena scoffed at the doctors lack lf bedside manner.
"Hey, Alice can you wake up?" Alice yawned as she woke up. "I really don't want tondonthis but you've not been getting enough water in your system. It's makimg you tired and it's making thijgsnreally hard for you to do. So we need to try sometjimg."
Alice blinked. She was always tired. It was fine. Sleeping was the only escape she'd had for as long as she could rememeber.
Alice didn't feel like fighting anything else. She just wanted to go back to her fort. Maybe eat something. So she just nodded and crawled out from her hdijg spot.
"Okay, i'm going to put this in your arm," the doctor told her.
Alice flinched. She didn't expect it to be that bad.
"It's okay," Robin reminded her. "You didn't donanytjing wrong. It's judtba way to kakenyoubfeel a little better."
Alice nodded. She didn't have it left in her to try to stop anything.
"Do you care wich arm it ges in?"
Alice shook her head. Zelena knew that Alice would be upset if she couldn't draw.
"She's left handed. Put it in her right arm so it's not in te way."
The doctor did that and showed Alice how to walk around with the iv pole.
Alice could alerady imagine the noise it would make if it bumped into anything.
"And you're done."
The docotr left and Alice sat staring at the bag of what looked like water to her.
"I know, it feels weird. You'll get used to it. And it won't be for too lomg" Zelena promised. Alice nodded.
"Alright let's head home" Alice had the hardest time walking now that she had absolitely no free hand for anything. Her dominant hand was on Luna's harness and her other was holding an iV pole, which she was bothered by. Zelena scolded herself for not handling Alice's potential physical affects long before. She probably wouldn't have needed the fluids if she'd just made her drink a bit more water. But she'd been so worried about earning hwr trust, she'd forgotten to make ure she was physcially healthy too.
They went home, Alice being wary of the car instead of excited about it amd evwryone went to bed, exhausted from the day.