It was cool. Empty and temperate but without any defining features. Much like the Time Chamber had been, so empty of anything but the small living quarters, this place felt the same. There was something similar to ground and air but it felt heavy and yet also without purchase.

Gohan gradually gestured his father to put him down though he maintained a solid grip on the man's arm. "Is this supposed to be my ki?"

"Sort of." Goku considered his previous experience with Korin's magic pots. "It kinda...well, it takes thoughts and emotions and makes 'em solid. Something to interact with. That's my best guess." He considered, glancing around, "When I went for the Ultra Divine water, it tempted me with what was in my heart so it must be able to read it."

So, it was metaphoric. Understandable, he supposed. Korin had said he needed to stay open minded, to not try and hide any thought that came his way but instead to just let it come. Waves of thought he supposed. If it was hard for him to identify why he fought so hard against this change, it made it all the harder to engage in it. To change it. If he could see the root of it—even in some metaphorical sense—then he could maybe work with it.

So far, nothing was showing; they weren't engaging with anything. Was he supposed to focus his mind on something? He felt great trepidation at that thought and tightened his grip on his father's arm.

Yes, he wanted help but all the same, he was terrified.

When he and Goku took to walking, his father considered then asked "So when you found out about the baby being a boy, what went through your head Kiddo?"

Immediately, the landscape changed. It grew hot, nearly smoldering and yet a sharp icy breeze cut through as sharp as razors. Gohan yelped a bit at it and accepted Goku pulling him slightly into his side, offering what little protection he could.

The voice came then, the voice Gohan had grown slightly accustomed to over the past few months. But it was so loud here. Booming, deafening.

Your time is done! They've made a NEW son! One that's better, stronger, kinder. One that makes YOU obsolete!

Gohan trembled against his father's side. Goku gently reached down and stroked the boy's hair back. Gohan glanced up at him, tears in his eyes. Hearing it out loud hurt more than he imagined it could. It was one thing to have to tolerate it in his own mind but to have to screamed aloud—

"Not true." Goku's words were fierce and full of fire. "Not true! I ain't gonna love this new baby more or less. My love for Gohan ain't changed any!"

It will be better. It won't be a murderer!

Gohan clutched his father tightly but his mind also drifted back to what they had talked about—the way the rage could blind you. The way the first transformation made you lose yourself. The way that he had misinterpreted things. The way he...

"Not...a murderer." His voice was meek, small but he stated it all the same. "Not a murderer."

You should have known!

It was more than just a voice now. The entire landscape seemed full of dark tentacles, slinking around like serpents. The air felt heavy and hard to breathe. As if it were weighed down with poison. Heavy, salty and oppressing.

You should have known! You should have done more! You should have done more!

Hail, but not hail, fell like burning fire but it never touched them. Gohan glanced up at his father but even Goku looked astounded. Reaching out, the half Saiyan gave a half yelp of surprise when something shimmery, like a forcefield, met his fingers and sent a feeling of...relief? throughout his body. It was hard to describe. Not quite contentness but a feeling of being removed of a burden. Of not carrying a weight when you had done so for so long.

I did the only thing I knew to do. The only thing I could think of to do. It was all I knew how to do.

The sudden repetition of what he'd told his father earlier felt alien and unclear. He nearly didn't recognize it as his own voice. Curious, he reached out and brushed the small protective shield again.

If there was nothin' else you coulda done, why do you torture yourself?

Of course. If they were in his mind then any memories or things he experienced would have a manifestation as well. Thus simple conversation he and his father had engaged in—it had literally created a defense from the onslaught of this self doubting voice. A rather effective one at that.

Because it was right. The more Gohan had time to process it, the more it made sense. It was so easy to lose yourself in emotion—especially pain, grief and sadness. The events of the Cell Games were literally drenched in such things. Now, with his father guiding him in processing it—the emotions were not as drowning. He hadn't been prepared for the onslaught that Super Saiyan 2 came with. He hadn't been prepared for the raw drowning power that took his reason over like a virus.

Maybe he'd made some mistakes. Maybe Daddy'd made some mistakes. Maybe they'd ALL made some mistakes. But one thing was clearer to him now than it had been in months: he hadn't killed his father. Much as him dying had hurt and made his heart cry and grieve, he was not at fault for it.

"Not a murderer!" Gohan repeated it and his voice rang harder this time. "I'm not a murderer!"

It felt weird to say it out loud. Good but weird. He felt his innards churn a bit, the same feeling he felt when he lied. But he knew he wasn't lying. Daddy wouldn't lie to him and logic wouldn't lie to him. Yet it still felt it. He was feeling like a liar for admitting he wasn't a murderer.

But...he HAD killed Cell. And the Cell Juniors. But that was defense, not murder. He was pretty sure that distinction was cut and dry.

He could hear them though. All around him. Cell's pompous, smooth and haughty taunts. The laughter of the Cell Juniors as they tortured his friends and family. He'd protected his family. Protected the earth. Right? Right?

What had seemed so clear to him on Namek...against the Saiyans...against Garlic Junior...it should have been even more clear now. By all REASON, he knew was clear but his emotions...why were they twisting his thoughts around? Making him doubt himself? Making him doubt what he knew was true?

He'd not noticed it before but his mind was telling him contradicting things. With the baby, with his own self worth, with this...

Validation...he needed validation.

Gohan turned, looked up at his father, seeking that reassurance. "Daddy...I...I didn't want to kill them but they were trying to kill you and Krillin and Piccolo and..."

Murderer!

Goku scooped his son up, looked him in the eye. "Gohan. You were stopping them from killing you. And me. And your Mom and the Earth. Remember what 16 told you?"

16...

Almost instantaneously, the Android's booming voice echoed throughout the chamber. "It is not a sin to fight for the right cause. There are those who words alone will not reach."

Gohan nodded. "I remember."

Goku pressed his forehead on his son's. "Sometimes fightin' and killin'...sometimes we don't got a choice in that. I know you know I love fightin' but do you really think I love killin'?"

Gohan shook his head. "I know you don't."

"You're right, I don't. I'd rather people attackin' us would just leave but sometimes, that don't happen." He smiled, sadly. "I've made my share of mistakes son. But I want you to know that you refusing to let Cell kill anyone else...that was right."

Gohan wrapped his arms tight around his father. Whenever Daddy explained something he always seemed to make it make sense. It always seemed so simple afterwards, like it should have been obvious to him. Maybe he should have been able to reassure himself but right now, with his heart so raw, he didn't know if he could. The idea of being here alone—he shivered, immensely thankful his father had come.

"Look what we've done already though, little man." Goku's voice was soft and warm, soothing to his ear. "You and I just talked through the battle with Cell and look what that's done." He gestured to the small dome currently protecting them. "Your mind mighta gotten all twisted around with some things but your good heart, your ability to think...it's still here. I think you're just drowning in all this...stuff."

Gohan felt that to be an accurate description. It felt so overwhelming, so much like there could not possibly be an answer to it. But when he could talk—openly and honestly—with someone that could redirect and challenge him and not make him feel silly or foolish—

It will never be good enough!

The booming sound from all around made Gohan's ears ring. He might have even cried out as he slammed his hands over them, trying to drown the sound. He briefly felt the ground sway beneath his feet.

It's never enough. YOU will never be good enough! Nothing you do is EVER good enough!

With what could only be described as a sickening crack, the ground gave way beneath him and the two Saiyans fell. Gohan stretched out for his father but it was like being swept up by a cyclone. That voice was now a churning sea and Gohan hit the waves hard.

Cold. Wet. Fierce and unrelenting. With each thundering "Never good enough!" Gohan lost more of his orientation. He was swept under the water and came up sputtering and struggling. He couldn't focus enough to fly and even if he did, it was like the sky itself would become water waves to crash down upon him.

It was an endless exhausting battle.

The third time Gohan managed to surface, he cried out, "Daddy! Daddy!"

But Goku was gone.

He was alone.