Day 160
"It's a brilliant idea!" I spoke looking over at Carl, who was beaming like it was Christmas already.
"It's stupid idea," Daryl grumbled in a low tone. I slapped his arm playfully, and he glared at me, moving forward.
"Ignore grumpy pants, here. I think it's great, kiddo. And I bet the others will think so, too."
"You think?" The boy looked at me hopefully, and I nodded, smiling at him widely.
We were just returning from the quick swap of the house that was half a mile next to mine. There were definitely signs of someone living there, which means that indeed crazy Nancy was around, keeping an eye on her walker husband and brother.
We found some canned food and bones which, according to Daryl, belonged to opposum, maybe a raccoon. Nothing else was there, really. Windows were boarded, the back doors barricaded.
Rick, Glenn, and Maggie stayed behind, grabbing blankets and duvets, loading it into the car we took. Daryl insisted on hunting and ignoring me when I stated that all the big game will be sleeping at that point, and birds would move on months ago, to go somewhere warmer. I think he just wanted to get away for a bit, feel the forest, and peacefulness. And as always, especially since my little adventure in the woods, he pulled me with him.
I couldn't decide if it was cute or annoying as fuck. All that protectiveness, I didn't need it. I was fine, and to be fair, I saved Dixon's life as many times as he did mine.
"Of course, Carl." I pulled out of my thoughts, smiling at young Grimes next to me. He insisted on coming, and let me tell you Daryl wasn't happy.
"I just- we need something. Some happiness." The boy answered, and I could see Daryl's back and how it stiffened.
"It's very wise, we do deserve some of that."
"Can ya two stop yapping for two minutes? There's not space for sentiments in this world." Daryl huffed at us, making Carl's face drop, something which made me angry.
"Sure," I told him, but I was planning to scold Dixon, already. I put an arm around the boy, to show him that I got his back.
We walked into the property, the car that others took was already there. Daryl let us through, and I pulled Carl forward.
"Wait for me before you tell the others. I need to do something first." He looked at me, confused, but nodded, walking up to the door. When Beth opened them, I pushed the boy forward and then closed the door, turning around to Dixon.
He furrowed his brows at me, but I walked down the porch and pulled him with me, holding his wrist, to the fence.
"What ya doin', woman?" He grunted and tried to slip from my grasp, but I didn't let him go until we were standing by the tree. The same one, over which I spread Amelia's ashes, not even a week ago.
"Now, Dixon. You going to stand here and look pretty. And you going to fucking listen to what I got to say." He huffed at my words, crossing his arms across the chest. I put hands on my hips and looked at him with a deadly stare. "Great. You do not put down Carl like that ever again. It's not fair. I understand that you're all tough, manly guy, and you don't need all that stupid socialization bulshit. And I get that you don't know how to talk to kids." I took a deep breath, and he used that to interrupt me.
"Have ya seen the world? It went to shit! There ain't a time for some stupid games, celebrations or birthdays."
"Ah, so you still holding onto that one. We do need those. To feel alive!" I got closer to Daryl with every word I spoke, nose flaring, and chest rising quickly. "To not lose hope, to feel that despite all the deaths we witnessed, there is still something besides raw survival."
I had to lift my head to look him in the eyes, my chest was touching him, his crossed arms just above my breasts. I could feel him stiff, and his eyes went wild. He was cornered, I was almost yelling at him, invading his personal space.
"I'm not asking you to change. Frankly, most of the time, I like you how you're. But when we talk about Carl, kids, please try to restrain your pessimistic and negative opinions."
We didn't move for seconds after I finished, and only then did I realize how close to each other we were standing. How easy it would be to just climb up on my toes and kiss those scowling lips.
"So what." He hissed in my face. "Ya gonna make it about my daddy, and broken past?"
I straightened up my back and cocked my brow at him, stepping back. Suddenly my brain completely forgot that I was standing next to someone I wanted, now I was just bitter, running a tongue over my teeth.
"Did I mention anything about your past? Is that what you think of me? That I'd just use what you told me against you?"
"Ain't that what ya did before? All that information used to take people down?" He moved forward, bending down, and pointing the finger at me.
"If you can't be nice to Carl, or treat him like a child should be, maybe how you'd want to be treated at his age," I said in a cold voice, he wanted to go down that road, no problem. "Then don't talk to him at fucking all. And if you're thinking so low of me, then guess what. You don't have to talk to me either." I spun on my heel, hearing him groan.
"Fine with me, woman!"
"Fine!"
I walked into the house, agitated, nearly slamming the door behind me before I remembered that we have a danger of walkers.
"That looked steamy." Maggie's voice sounded amused. She stood in the kitchen with Carol, Lori, and T-Dog, all pretending to be busy.
"If it's not our Gossip Group. Enjoyed the show?" I asked them coldly. None of them seemed offended.
"I would opt for some hugs," T commented, cocking his head at me.
"I was waiting for you two to finally kiss," Carol said casually, stirring something in the pan, on top of the cooker.
"We literally could see sparks flying."
I scoffed at that and sent them a fake smile. "Well, sorry to disappoint guys, but the only thing you'll see from now on is zero interactions. Silence." I looked them over and shook my head.
"Come on, guys. Carl got something to tell you." People in the house stopped what they were doing and looked over at the boy sitting on the sofa. Now he was blushing, having all eyes on him, growing nervous.
"Um, so, Elena said that it's just a month to Christmas. And I know we can't have a tree or anything like that." He started in a shy voice, playing with his fingers. I gave him an encouraging smile and then heard doors opening. A moment later, the hunter stood in the doorframe of a living room, glaring like a wild animal. He kept his distance next to Carol.
"We are a family now, all of us. And of course, presents are hard to find and get, right now. But I thought we could do a secret Santa, so everyone gets something."
I could see how proud Lori was of her son. She was smiling widely at him, Rick's expression didn't change much, but there was a small twist of his mouth, and he was stroking his beard, definitely thinking about it.
"I like that," Beth said first, she was second youngest, just seventeen, she was kind and still full of hope. This young woman recovered from her breakdown quite nicely, I'd say. I moved to the bookshelf, taking one of the notebooks I had here. I looked around for a pen, finally finding it in the drawer of a TV stand. I ripped a page and started writing the names.
"What you think, sheriff?" I asked the man, holding out my hands, in which I had small, folded pieces of paper with our names on it. "We still got a month of scavenging, it won't hurt anyone."
He stood still for a while, making me shift with uncertainty. And then he finally smiled lightly, reaching his hand for a small square.
"Yes!" Carl's fist pump the air with happiness.
"OK, rules. We don't say who we got, no swappies, and if you drew your own name, put it back." I said quickly, loud enough so everyone could hear me. Rick opened his paper and nodded, putting it in his pocket. I moved to the right standing next to Glenn.
"What if we don't know what to get that person?" He asked when he grabbed the paper, making me shrug.
"We have a fucking month, I'm sure you can figure something out." He opened the paper and smiled, hiding it quickly. I walked around the room, T-dog was the only one who had to put his pick back and chose another.
I finally stood in front of Carol and Daryl, avoiding eye contact with the latter. The woman reached first, opening the piece and nodding to herself a little. The man huffed a little, but in the end, he grabbed one of two left papers and read the name, scowling even more.
I looked at the name, making sure that my face is blank and not showing any reaction. When I saw it, I wanted to scream and kill someone at this same time. Just my fucking luck, isn't it?
"You look happy," Carol commented sarcastically. I rose my eyebrow at her, before replying in a dead tone.
"It's called poker face."
"No, I usually call it your dangerous face," Glenn added, and he moved slightly behind his girlfriend when I turned to look at him.
"My what?"
"It's when you try to hide your emotions very hard," Lori said from the couch, trying not to laugh.
"Or too hard," T-Dog spoke, looking out of the window, it was his time for watch. "And it's usually when you planning a murder, sometimes you mumble treats under your breath."
"I do not!" I cried out, scowling at the group, catching Ricks's eyes, who nodded to what they were saying.
"Yeah, you do."
"Pff." I don't have a face for my plotting, do I? Or maybe we know each other so well, that there is no hiding anymore. No matter how good you are. I mean, I could see every single change in mood on my companion's faces. Who's to say that they can't see it too, on mine. We were together for five months now, and recently I was more comfortable around them.
I shrugged and walked away to my room to plot my murder. I mean, what gift to get for my person.
Day 172
"He did what?" I asked, my voice low, disbelief evident in it. I looked between Maggie and Rick, making them both take a step back. We were on the run, in the town center, checking shops for food, of course, but also trying to clear it, so we can bring the rest of the group here. Maybe they can see something we can't, and that would help with Christmas presents.
"Um, Eli, you think you can turn down your kill face, just a bit," Maggie said, making me glare at her.
"No. Where's that idiot now?"
"I'm here." I could hear Glenn'svoice from behind, making me turn to see him and T-Dog, coming back from the store they were checking.
"Funny enough, I'm not talking about you, this time," I told him dryly, looking back at the sheriff.
"I told you he wanted to scout the mall." I clenched my jaw and took a few deep breaths.
"And I told you, all of you, that it's fucking dangerous, and certainly not a job for one person."
We stood around our cars, some supplies stored inside them already.
"Mall is huge, who knows how many walkers inside. And who's to say there aren't any people inside. We had a fucking plan."
"Enough." Rick finally rose his voice at me, I stood straighter, waiting for what he has to say. "He's not stupid. He won't go inside. He's got my walkie-talkie, so he can contact us in case something happens. Daryl is just looking outside, checking what we can do, how to get in."
Rick paused for a second, looking at me with a weird glimpse in his eyes. "Besides, if you wouldn't be acting like kids, you would be there with him."
I watched his back when he turned around, walking to the cars. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. He was right, Dixon made his choice when he stopped talking to me, so I shouldn't care. Of course, that was bulshit, because there was no way that I would stop worry and care for the hunter. Yeah, we might be pissed at each other, but he's still my fucking friend. And he was on foot, for fuck's sake.
"Eli?"
"Mags." I caught her eyes, and she motioned behind me, the were four walkers, marching in our direction. Or, they would, they were moving super slowly, dragging their feet behind them, trying to beat the snow. Oh, that's actually what I needed to kill something.
I pulled the string of my bow and aimed it at one of the geeks, sending the arrow at its head. Maggie strode forward, grabbing the neck of the walker on the left, stacking her cleaver in its brain. At the same time, I sent another arrow and waited for her to take down the last one.
She jogged back to me with a smile on her face, handing me arrows back.
"They bleed less, it's not a huge splash anymore," She said, grinning at me.
"That's good. It means we were right, they slowly freezing up."
We got into the car, with Glenn behind the wheel, and we drove back to the house.
I was helping Lori with laundry, there wasn't really a lot to do inside the house. I couldn't cook, so that was the only domestic choir I could help with. And at the moment I needed a distraction, it was already a few hours since we came back, Daryl didn't make contact with Rick, even though sheriff tried to reach him. He either turned it off or... no, his fucking Dixon, indestructible.
I soaked another shirt and started rubbing soap on the stubborn stain, feeling Lori's eyes on me.
"I can feel worry radiating from you, hun."
"Nothing to worry about," I told her, trying to smile. "He's on foot, of course, it will take him some time to come back." I put the shirt into clean water and then twisted it to get rid of excess water.
"What happen between you two?"
"I don't know what you talking about."
"Elena, you were practically inseparable."
I sighed heavily, putting the shirt on makeshift line in the living room. It was the warmest room, and we moved to the basement a few days ago when the first snow hit. But during the day we spend our day mainly here, not just because it was close to the bookshelf, but also to keep warm.
"He said something, and well, I told him off. Then we agreed that maybe we shouldn't speak to each other anymore." I told her, avoiding details and eye contact. To hell with this group and their noisiness.
"You should speak to him. You were good for each other."
"Lori. I like you, but shut up. It's not your business. We were not a couple, and we never would be."
"I'm just trying to help." She answered in a soft voice. I closed my eyes, sighing gently.
"I know. Just- look, I want Daryl safe, but it doesn't change anything. The words we said, well, it was a hell of an argument."
She chuckled, putting another pair of pants on the line. "Yeah, I can tell. Why won't you check with Rick? See if Daryl contacted him."
I watched her for a second, before dropping panties I was holding into the bucket, standing up slowly, stretching my joints. I walked over to the kitchen, noticing sheriff, T-Dog, and Glenn, bend over something on the counter, whispering to each other. I cleared my throat to get their attention. They turned around, trying to shield whatever was on the table.
"What's up, officer?" I said, raising my brows, the fuck were they hiding. I moved closer, making T-Dog shift closer to Glenn.
"Just planning our next ran."
"Huh, I thought the next one would be the mall."
"Well, yes, but they're still so many places we can check." Glenn was sweating, avoiding my eyes. Oh yes, mister, you're a shit liar. I moved my eyes to the sheriff. His face was blank, but he was clenching his jaw.
"So, there's nothing wrong. Like, at all?" I asked them watching their faces.
"Of course not. Anyway, what can we do for you, Agent James?
"Hm, I wanted to know how long we going to wait until we going after Dixon, but now I am more interested in what you're hiding."
Rick looked at T, who folded his arms across the chest and then at Glenn, who got red and was shifting from one leg to the other. The sheriff sighed heavily, obviously realizing that his accomplices aren't very good at lying game.
"Fine, come here." he moved, making space around the counter, showing me the map. It showed Palmetto, but they folded in a way that the mall was in the center of the paper. I glared at Rick, smacking my lips.
"He's alive?" My heart started racing, and breathing became harder, while I waited for an answer.
"Yes. He's just- stuck." Rick replied softly, putting an arm on my shoulder.
"Stuck. Fucking idiot got stuck." I nodded to myself, boiling inside. The only reason he could get stuck and not make Rick panic would be because of walkers, not other people. Otherwise, we'd be already marching there.
"He's in one of the shops, but he's surrounded, and they keep busting from the stores to get to him."
"I see."
"Girl, you got that face again," T-Dog stated, stepping away from me and making me nod again. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, but so far, it wasn't helping.
"Did he said anything else?"
"No."
"Well, that's not a lot of information. Give me the radio." I stretched my arm and looked at Rick intently, palm up, waiting for him to hand it over.
"Just don't start an argument." I rolled my eyes and grabbed walkie-talkie, pressing the button to speak to the idiot.
"I heard you're in deep shit, Dixon," I said, not trying to hide my amusement. Behind me, T and Rick sighed in unison, and Glenn hid his face in hands. I waited a few moments before his gruff voice came through.
"Funny."
"How did you get into the mall?"
"Side door, fire exit, closed behind me." Great, so potentially the main doors are still untouched, trapping the walkers inside.
"Any other entrances that were open?"
"No, that's why I picked the side one." Still got yourself trapped, though, didn't you? I sighed and hold the fingers to my forehead, it was not the time to get angry at him.
"Where are you?"
"Eastside, if you look from the road."
"Are you safe where you are?" I asked the most crucial question, the one I was scared to hear the answer to.
"For now."
"OK, can you hold on for another thirty minutes?"
"Yeah." I couldn't see his face, and his voice usually didn't tell me enough, I couldn't know if he was lying, or not. Mind you, he's not that type of person, usually being honest, but if he's in deep shit, he would probably try to hide it.
"Good," I said, and after a moment of thinking, I turned away from the men, and lowered my voice. "Daryl, stay safe, please."
"Always, El." The radio crackled, his voice a bit softer this time. Alrighty, not the time for sentiments.
"We need a distraction like we did in Peachtree. Glenn thinks of the best route out of the town." I told them, looking at Rick to see if he was alright with it.
"We already did that." He answered, beaming me towards the map. "Here, we put a CD on, blast the sound on, and go this way."
"OK, and the rest of us gets inside when they cleared out?"
"Yes. It's not the way we planned it. And we still didn't check gun shop in here, so I don't know how much ammo we can spare."
"It's fucking Daryl, we can spare all of it as far as I care." I hissed at him, my anger and worry finally taking over.
"Hey, calm down. We need to think about the bigger picture. That mall is small, just one floor. Once we drive them away, it shouldn't be too hard to get rid of the rest."
I took a deep breath, nodding, stressing out won't help, it'll just make me more reckless, and potentially endanger others.
"Hershel will drive the car, and then circle back to the house. Carol knows what to do here. They stay in the basement until we come back or contact them. We will scout around to see how many entrances there are, we need them all open, make it easier for walkers to get out." Rick said to me, and the other men didn't look surprised, they already knew that. I chuckled dryly at that.
"Were you even going to tell me what's happening?" I asked him, making him smile at me sadly.
"Yeah, but we wanted to have a plan first."
"Cool. Great."
"In there, first we need to open the doors, and then hide until they have gone. Then we will split, get rid of the ones that linger on. Open the shops one by one. Clear them."
I nodded and moved to go grab my weapons.
"Elena." Rick said quietly, making my stop in my tracks. "And don't do anything stupid."
Hershel was ready when we opened three doors, running to hide in the cars, while walkers spilled through them. I jumped into one of the vehicles we prepped before, making sure that I can't be seen. I looked like I was ready for a war, all my knives, and a bow, of course. My Smith&Wesson, and Glock, both with suppressors, were secured in my belt. I was thinking about taking my MP5, but Rick quickly stopped me, mumbling something about overkill. Still, I think he was afraid I'd do something to Daryl.
It took about five minutes for Hershel to move out, he couldn't wait any longer; otherwise, he would be blocked. I heard Rick whistle, and I got out of the car, putting the arrow in the notch, ready to fire. Carl and I were appointed as a long-range, shooting as many we could before swapping to melee. One, because of my arrows but also because the most amount of ammo to spare was for our handguns.
The young Grimes had a silencer as well, something Rick made for him, I don't even know from what. It looked a bit like a tube, and certainly wasn't something customarily approved, but it worked, so who cares.
We killed all dozen walkers, stuck around the entrance, and Rick beamed us all together. That was the time we're going to split up.
"Glenn, Maggie, you take back entrance, the one Daryl came through. Elena, T-Dog, you're gonna take the east one, you gonna be the closest to him, clear the path, so he can get out. Carl and I will take the front. We gonna meet up in here." Rick ordered and then pointed at the spot on the map of a mall, displayed close to the entrance. We all moved out, I took the point, T behind me with his fire poker in front of him, ready to strike down any walkers. The entrance itself was pretty empty, two stowaways, which we took down quickly. We made sure to close the door behind us, the light was dimmed in here, only a few windows around. But when we silently rounded the corner, I pushed T back, getting close to the wall.
I put my finger to my lips, showing him to be quiet, and then I peeked to see how many exactly, cause it looked like fucking a lot. I moved along the wall and stuck my head out, there were at least two dozen of walkers left, banging on the metal shatter and bars of the shop on the left, nearly at the end of the corridor. Well, I guess we found Dixon. Why the fuck he even got inside in the first place, he's smarter than that.
I pulled back, swinging the bow over my chest, so it layed safely on my back. I took out both of my guns and switched the safeties off.
"About two dozens," I whispered to T-Dog, I felt him go stiff next to me, not that I could blame him, it's fucking a lot. I gave him Wesson, and he took it, placing his poker gently on the ground. I hold up three fingers and started to count down. At one, we both moved into the corridor and started shooting at the walkers. It took maybe a minute, but the adrenaline pumping in my veins made it feel like hours. When the last one hit the ground, just inches from us, I released a loud sigh.
T put the safety back on and handed me back the gun, but I told him to keep it. He took it and turned back for his poker. I didn't put mine away but grabbed the hunting knife in the other hand, just in case one of the walkers on the ground wasn't completely dead.
With T-Dog's help, we moved the bodies that blocked the shatter, and I knocked on it three times while the man was looking out in another direction, making sure that there are no more geeks. We waited for a few minutes, without an answer. I stepped back and looked at the name of the store for the first time. The fuck he was doing in there? I grabbed the radio from the back of my pants and clicked it on.
"Dixon, I assume this bunch of walkers, were here for you. They're gone, so move your ass, and open that fucking shutter."
"You're so nice to him," T commented, what's with all the sarcasm recently?
"I know, I'm lovely, right?" I watched the windows of the store, trying to see if he's coming, it took another few moments until I finally saw a movement, somewhere at the back. The glass was dirty and dusty, and it was hard to confirm who it was. So I kept my gun up when the person approached the shutter and pulled it up.
"Ya gonna shoot me, woman?" He was dirty and covered in blood and guts. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes seemed darker than usual. He looked around at all the geeks lying on the ground, and he scrunched his brows.
"Be nicer to your rescue party, Dixon," I answered, but lowered the gun, putting the safety on. "The fuck you were doing in here anyway?"
"Elena, not the time." T-Dog interrupted, and I glared at him. "You bit, man?"
"Nah. I'm good."
"Fine, but I'm not done with you, you idiot." I pointed my finger at Daryl, making him scowl. "OK, let's move to the meeting point, boys."
I walked around the black man, retaking the point, switching back to the bow. It seemed like most of the walkers either left after Hershel or were the ones that surrounded the store. When we got where Rick wanted to meet up, the rest of the group already waited for us.
"All clear?" The sheriff asked, and I nodded.
"Yeah, there were still few waiting for Dixon, though."
"Few?" T-Dog scoffed at that, and I efficiently ignored him.
"What about you?"
"Just couple, it seems like you had the most of them," Maggie answered, looking between Daryl and me.
"Alright, it's gonna be dark soon. We gonna put chains on the doors, so no more can come inside, and we'll pick up tomorrow morning." Rick ordered, handing me one of the chains with a lock, and I turned around, back to where we came from.
I could hear quiet, even footsteps behind me, and I rolled my eyes at that. I really hoped it would be T, but I knew better. I didn't stop or turned until we came to the door. I shifted slightly, enough to see his frame.
"I don't need a babysitter," I told him, and he blushed for a second.
"Ya shouldn't go off by yurself," Daryl replied lowly, making me scowl.
"Daryl, I'm tired. I didn't plan on rescuing your ass this morning when I woke up. And I have a watch tonight, so just shut up."
"Ya, so stubborn, woman." He growled, coming closer, making my body go stiff. We weren't that close in weeks, and I missed him. But he was right, I was proud and stubborn, and yes, I wasn't the type of person to apologize, especially for something that's not my fault.
"Alrighty. Got something to say, go ahead."
He looked away for a moment, biting his bottom lip before he searched for my eyes—his bright blue locking with my grey ones.
"Ya were right." I cocked my head at that but didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue. "Um, kid deserves to be kid, sometimes."
"Great. Did you tell him that?"
"Yeah. Day after." I snorted, shaking my head. So he was OK with apologizing to Carl, straight away, but he waited two fucking weeks to do this same to me.
"I see." I turned around and pushed the door, waiting for Dixon to come out. When he did, I shut it and looked around for something to attach the chain to.
"Here, let me." He gently took it from me, using a drainpipe, connecting it with a door handle, and locking the padlock on the ends. There wasn't anything else, so I moved back to the cars when he spun me around, pulling me for a hug.
I tensed under his touch. Even with so many layers on, I could sense how warm he was, and suddenly I remembered how he makes me feel, in that dark place, inside me. I breathed in his scent, still the same.
"I missed ya."
"Then why did you wait so long?" I whispered, hiding my face in his chest, circling my arms around his waist.
"I guess I'm also stubborn."
I chuckled lightly. "Yeah, you are."
"But today- it was fuckin' close call, El. And all I could think of was how we left things."
"Oh, you thought of me while facing death," I smirked, even if he couldn't see it. Daryl moved his hand up, bringing it to my hair, pushing my head closer to him.
"Shut up, woman."
"I hate to butt in, cause it's cute as hell," Daryl groaned in my ear and quickly let me go, his face going red, all the way to his ears. Maggie stood, a few yards away, a massive grin on her face and knowing look in her eyes. "Rick says we need to move."
"Right, let's go," I answered, trying to ignore the young woman's smug face, Dixon was already on the move, pushing past Maggie, his head down.
"So." She wiggled her eyebrows, and grabbed my arm, interlocking it with hers.
"So, you are going to shut up, or I'm going to kick you."
I don't think she believed me, considering that she just laughed and went on how she can't wait to tell the rest.