Civil Affairs
Chapter 24
Conspiracy
I stared down at the old paper in my hands, leaning back in my desk chair abruptly. I was so close to the answers I had been looking for and yet I'd never felt so far. The old document in front of me held an answer to one of my many questions; the whereabouts of the Hanabachiro Clan. And yet...it had generated three times the questions it had answered.
It was a land deed pertaining to a large expanse of land called The Sen Valley. The landowner listed? Atsuhiko Hanabachiro.
This would be a breakthrough if it weren't for one concerning fact.
I had poured over every map I could get my hands on, both of The Land of Fire and its neighbours, and I could find no such place. I had even searched for villages named Sen, thinking that perhaps a village in that area would share the name, but had been unsuccessful. If the Hanabachiro family had requested a protection arrangement that had to mean they were nearby to be protected. During the Warring States Period, clans rarely interacted with each other let alone those from other countries. If the Hanabachiro were more than a few days travel from where Konohagakure stood now, they would've gone to another ninja clan in another country for help. It likely would have been cheaper and faster, which would have appealed to the clan since they had been destitute.
The Sen Valley could not be anywhere other than the Land of Fire or the surrounding countries. It just couldn't - so where was it? Wherever the Sen Valley was, that was where I would be likely to find Atsuhiko's documents. The problem was that the valley did not appear to exist - at least not anymore. I had a feeling that the land had changed hands at least once or twice, so it was no surprise that the name had been changed. Not a surprise, to me, but I'd been hoping against it since it was inconvenient.
To find out where the Sen Valley was, I would need to track it through the ages somehow. My next step was finding out who had purchased or inherited it from Atsuhiko which meant I was probably looking for...a bill of sale? Perhaps? I hoped that the land had been sold because at least then I had some way of tracking it. If it had been inherited, I would need his Will and Testament which, if he had a formal one at all, would be missing along with the rest of his documents.
This was a mess. I had known this wouldn't be easy, but it was awful to get a glimmer of hope only to find myself at another dead end.
I was startled from my thoughts when the door to my office was pulled open and I dropped the form I'd been looking at onto my desk. My eyes snapped up to meet the intruder only for my heart to sink to my stomach when I saw who it was.
"Kakashi…" I trailed off no sooner then I began. Something was different. I could feel it in the atmosphere of the office - the air was crackling with tension. This didn't feel like the Kakashi I had come to know.
I hadn't expected my next meeting with Kakashi to be a happy one, after all I had some terrible news, but the man that stood before me was already despairing. No, despairing wasn't the right word. I took in his hunched shoulders and the intensity of his singular onyx eye. An eye that wasn't looking at me...but through me.
He was disheveled, his hair unkempt with the occasional leaf or twig sticking out, I think I even saw some dried blood on his uniform. It was still his ANBU uniform - which stood out to me when he initially entered. He had a stack of disorganized papers which he was clenching tightly with both hands. His clothes were very wrinkled and even from where I was I could smell the stench of must and layers of dried sweat. He looked like he hadn't even showered or changed clothes since he returned from his mission-
No.
He looked like he hadn't changed or showered in months.
Unhinged was a more accurate description than despairing and it took everything I had to keep my face passive at the realization.
This Kakashi was unhinged.
Kakashi had returned to the village a few weeks ago. Genma had told me within a day of his arrival and, after prodding, admitted that he'd already told Kakashi the terrible news. I'd been angry at my older brother but after seeing his expression I realized he already felt guilt at what he'd done. He said that Kakashi had wandered off and no one had seen him since, which would explain the man's appearance.
Himari had mentioned that Gai had gone looking for the other jonin multiple times, with no success, and seemed terribly upset by his absence. I was guilty of watching for him when I walked through the streets on my way to work, though I doubted I would see him after what Himari told me. After all, if Gai couldn't find him what chance did I have? With that thought process I didn't bother to search for him; I figured he needed time and just waited for him to come to me.
If I'd realized what time would do to him, I would've at least tried to find him.
"You're not yourself, Kakashi." I started calmly, keeping my face neutral. I didn't think that single sentence would nudge him back to his senses, but it was better than remaining silent. It was a true enough statement. This was not the Kakashi I knew.
"There's someone doing it." He said with conviction, pushing his messy stack of papers across the desk and scattering my own paperwork. "I checked the numbers and it doesn't make sense. Someone is doing it."
I swallowed thickly and did my best to find my voice.
"Someone is doing what, Kakashi?" I kept repeating his name with every sentence in the hope that it would bring him out of...whatever this was. It was like he wasn't entirely here.
He didn't respond and just nudged the papers he'd brought even closer - emphasizing his argument by tapping a solitary finger on them enthusiastically. I slowly looked down at them, though my eyes continued to flick to Kakashi on the other side of the desk. He was staring at me with an intensity I wasn't used to and something about it, and this situation, made my skin crawl. I was uncomfortable around Kakashi for the first time since he'd appeared at my door and proclaimed he was the father of my unborn child.
I focused on the paperwork and had to hold in a sigh. I couldn't make out much of it. At surface level it was just papers covered in barely legible scrawl that I figured was the silver haired jonin's. But a few of the pages, the last ones in the stack, were actual annual compilations from the Statistics Department of the CAO.
"Kakashi, you're not supposed to have this." I couldn't help the slight scolding in my tone when I picked them up with one hand and shook them at him lightly, "You'd need to go through me to get CAO documents like this and I haven't seen you in months. How did you get these?"
For the first time since he'd entered my office this Kakashi bore a resemblance to the one I knew as he turned abruptly and quirked his single visible brow at me. As if telling me that I was too smart to ask that question - especially when I knew the answer. He snuck in and stole it.
"Look at that and tell me those numbers make sense to you." He said instead of confirming what I already knew. "Please, Kiyoko, just look at it."
The unexpected plea in his voice surprised me and I looked up at him only to see he was desperately avoiding my eyes. What was this all about? What was this state he was in? Had he taken on extra work and manufactured projects, no, missions for himself like I had done in my grief? I decided to humor him and took a deep breath, looking down at the paperwork again. I avoided his sheets of notes since I couldn't make them out but the statistics I felt confident with.
The first page was birth statistics, as was the next, and the next…
They were the village's birth statistics - and therefore miscarriage statistics - for the last 10 years. I felt a lump form in my stomach as I started to understand what he was getting at.
"Kakashi-"
"See how the numbers spiked three years ago?" Something about my face or tone, despite my desperate attempt to stay neutral, must've told him he had already lost whatever case he was trying to make because there was desperation in his voice. He persisted.
He had convinced himself that there was something behind how we lost Tobiro. Something or someone that we could blame for our loss. I felt a familiar, sharp spike in my chest that had been absent for at least a month. He was rubbing my slowly healing wounds back open with his own grief and I needed him to stop. As he continued, his voice nothing but a buzz in the background, I pleaded with him in my head to stop.
Just stop.
I couldn't find my voice and he was still talking.
Please stop, Kakashi.
The words were garbled but they were still there.
Stop...please...stop...
"Someone is causing them and not just ou-"
"Kakashi! Just stop!" I surprised even myself with the sudden shout and the way I sprung from my chair. My mouth suddenly went dry after for reasons I couldn't understand but I managed to croak out the rest. "No one killed Tobiro. It was a terrible circumstance, but it wasn't some plot o-or a conspiracy. You're just looking for someone to blame! I did the same thing...I understand but..."
An eerie silence fell over my office and neither of us seemed to be able to move or breath...let alone say anything else. It was like that for what felt like forever until something about Kakashi's body language indicated to me that if I spoke now...he'd hear me. Unlike before when he didn't seem entirely present.
"Kakashi, I-" I care about you. For some reason those were the words that popped into my mind first but I stopped them before they could come out.
Did I care about Kakashi?
Yes. I suppose I could admit that I did. In a parallel universe we were probably raising a small person together about now and surely you had to at least care about someone, even vaguely, to do that. It wasn't shameful to care about him - I cared about a lot of people. Like Genma, Gai, Tamaki, Himari and Yuzuha. Still, for some reason I didn't want him to hear those words from me. As if I was worried he would throw them back at me.
So, instead, I just decided to appeal to him.
"Please, let this go. This kind of thinking, this denial, it will destroy you if you let it…" I trailed off, thinking of how I'd buried myself under a mountain of paperwork so I didn't have to face the loss of my child. How I'd done it just so I didn't have to mourn. Kakashi was doing the same thing. It was in his own morbid way but that's still what he was doing.
For the first time I wished he had been in the village when I had lost Tobiro. At least then, he and I would've had the same rate of healing. Maybe we could have helped each other through the process and by now both of us would have been ready to continue with our lives. Instead, I was near the cusp of accepting my child's death while Kakashi was just finding out and spiraling downward.
Selfishly, I worried his behavior would set me back if I paid it too much attention. A part of me wanted to make him leave me alone so I could cross the finish line without hindrance. Without the burden of his reaction.
Unselfishly, Kakashi's grief was difficult to stomach and I could empathize better than anyone else. Another part of me wished there was something I could do, but my experience had taught me that nothing anyone else said could make it better. He needed to come to terms with it in his own time.
Even so I couldn't let him fabricate a conspiracy like this and since he wouldn't listen to me, I would just have to do my best not to wind him up more than he already was.
"I need to go." Kakashi abruptly said, ignoring my words altogether. He extended a hand towards me, clearly asking for his stolen documents and notes back. At least I could put my foot down on that. It wouldn't help for long but it would at least dissuade him for a few hours.
"No," I said firmly, quickly moving to sort through the papers in front of me, "These are stolen documents. You may have your notes back, but the stats stay with me and next time if you want them you're to follow proper procedure."
He didn't argue, he just grabbed his notes while carefully avoiding my eyes and left as quickly as he came.
XxX
"He's convinced himself of what?" Tamaki asked in disbelief, the chopsticks in her hands dangling limply as her eyes widened.
"How awful. The poor man." Himari contributed, her brow furrowing as she stared down at her tea.
It was Sunday, January 19th, 1463.
Tamaki had invited the two of us over for a traditional breakfast when she'd heard from Ibiki that Kakashi had returned to the village. According to Tamaki, since word had already spread about my miscarriage his return had caused a nervous stir amongst the jonin of the village. This had only gotten worse when it was discovered that no one had seen or heard from him since he'd walked through the gate last week. While no one had clarified it, I imagined the nervousness was bred from a concern that he would be...unpredictable.
Unfortunately, it seemed that once again the ninja grapevine was right.
Though I doubted Kakashi was dangerous in this state, at least not to anyone but himself, I had to admit he wasn't right. Tamaki had been scandalized to hear that I saw him yesterday but the typical gleam in her eye nurtured by gossip had turned to pity when I'd told her how he'd behaved. For the first time I saw her regretting asking for details.
"He seems to have manufactured a belief that the miscarriage was caused by some unknown enemy." I glanced over at the papers I'd confiscated from him which were peeking out from my briefcase, "In fact, it seems like he's convinced himself of a conspiracy involving the whole village."
"I can't believe he stole from the CAO." Himari added after following my line of sight. "Well, I mean, I believe he can steal from the CAO it just doesn't seem like something he would do. He's so laid back normally and usually seems to respect the rules."
"Yeah, the cheese really must've slid off his cracker this time." Tamaki added harshly, her tone a strange mix between annoyance and pity. Knowing her, she was likely annoyed that she pitied him so much. "I hope he gets himself right soon - for both your sakes. You should be able to support each other right now without making things worse for the other person."
"Do you know where he went afterward?" Himari questioned, "If you do maybe I can have Gai go check on him."
I shook my head slowly, trying to ignore the indigestion-like feeling I was having when I thought of the silver-haired jonin. Just because I'd admitted I cared about him didn't make the idea any easier to stomach. Realizing that I cared about Kakashi was paralyzing because, for the first time since I'd lost Tobiro, I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do for him to help him grieve - I couldn't encourage this fantasy of his and I likely wouldn't be able to make him see reason either. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, I could do to ease his pain. What was the point in caring about someone when you couldn't get too close to them without hurting yourself?
"Is there anything I can do for him?" The question had mainly been rhetorical, but I saw the two women thinking about my question. Himari was poking her rice absently while Tamaki moved to pour herself some more coffee, her brows furrowed. I saw both women shoot each other a glance, seeming to have a silent conversation and appearing to reach a consensus.
"I think it might be best if you keep doing what you've been doing." Tamaki finally said as she put the pitcher back down, "I know you want to help him, Kiyoko, but people need to save themselves. It's not healthy for you to dwell on this - you'll get hurt."
I looked back at my briefcase, staring at the papers I'd been willfully ignoring the entire time, unable to decide whether I agreed with her or not.
"We care about you," Himari added, her voice hesitant but in clear agreement with Tamaki for once, "Which is why we both think it might be best if you kept your distance. Nothing good will come from getting involved with him right now when he's so-"
She cut herself off and it was clear she wasn't sure she had the right word for his current state and she didn't want to say the wrong thing.
A heavy silence fell over the Morino's dining room and lingered as the minutes ticked by. Each of us were left to our thoughts. The silence only broke much later when we heard the front door open, followed by the familiar sound of Ibiki taking off his sandals. Within seconds Tamaki began another, lighter, conversation - as if we'd never been discussing anything heavy in the first place. Himari joined in soon after.
I sat there and stared at the bottom of my coffee cup despite the advice I'd been given to leave the whole thing alone.
Still paralyzed.
Still helpless.
Still thinking of Kakashi.
XxX
Since returning from Tamaki's I had been aimlessly moving around my house. I had attempted to sit and read a few times but had given up within minutes. For the first time in my life I wasn't able to stay still. The result was me wandering aimlessly around my own home, finding various places to sit but not staying very long.
I even wandered into my home office a few times or as I used to call it the second bedroom. Originally, I had planned for it to be Tobiro's nursery and I had been thankful that I hadn't had the time to decorate it or purchase furniture yet when I lost him. It would've been a haunting reminder to have to go in and remove the furniture and strip the walls.
In this case being underprepared seemed to have been best.
The second bedroom had bothered me the first few months after and I'd kept the door closed but after a while the pain faded. When the pain had faded enough, I finally decided to decorate it and changed it into an office space. I tried hard not to clutter it.
I had lined one wall with bookshelves, none of which were anywhere close to full, but it was mainly for aesthetics. It just looked better that way. The rest of the walls I painted a light blue and besides the addition of a desk and chair, the room was bare. I'd considered filing cabinets but Yuzuha had talked me out of it. She'd informed me that the last thing I should be doing was encouraging myself to bring my work home which admittedly I would've done if I'd had filing space.
Instead of a workspace the office felt more like a place where I could go to for solitude. Something about the neatly kept desk and rows of bookshelves always gave me a sense of comfort and despite never finishing its transformation to a nursery. I found the room reminded me gently of Tobiro. I felt close to him when I spent time there.
But the room didn't seem to satisfy or comfort me today - all it did was remind me of Kakashi and how helpless I felt.
Both Tamaki and Himari seemed positive that I should just ignore him, ignore his pain, and continue moving on. They seemed sure that he would move on in his own time as long as I left him alone and didn't encourage his delusions.
Somehow, deep inside, I felt like that was the wrong thing to do.
Not only because it felt immoral, not only because no one had left me alone when I was in pain but because somehow I knew that Kakashi would never move on.
He wasn't capable of moving on.
I'd seen the sadness in his eyes on more than one occasion - this was a man who was still angry at his father decades after his death. This was a man who clearly blamed himself for more things than I could possibly imagine. He oozed with depression and misplaced guilt.
Kakashi Hatake would never get over this on his own.
Perhaps he would leave his conspiracy theory behind in time, but he would never get over this loss without intervention. I was certain of it. And yet...there was nothing I could think of that would help him. What could I do?
My feet carried me back upstairs to my office once more, where I flicked on the light and stared unseeingly into the room. On the desk was my briefcase, slightly tipped and spilling its contents out onto the wood surface.
The birth statistics Kakashi had stolen would need to be returned quietly. I did not want him to get in trouble nor explain the situation in which I had recovered them. I was waiting until I went into work tomorrow morning, exceedingly early, to return them to the department they were missing from. I hoped no one had noticed their absence and I wouldn't get caught returning them.
I sighed and moved forward to hover over my desk, staring down at them numbly.
I also hoped Kakashi wasn't just biding his time to steal them back.
Then something caught my eye and I raised an eyebrow imploringly at the documents. I took a finger and used it to drag the bottom page out from underneath the others, staring at the information on it.
It did, indeed, have the statistics not only of births but the number of miscarriages that year. I wondered at it for a moment - how had they gotten those numbers? Did the hospital report them? Did they use something else? I really hadn't given it much thought until now - if it wasn't for the fact I'd been far enough along to be hospitalized over the ordeal, no one would've known I'd miscarried. Most women probably didn't tell anyone. It was, after all, an altogether unpleasant affair; not something you wanted to talk about let alone report to the CAO.
I picked the sheet up and turned it over, reading all the fine print and numbers closely, trying to figure out where they'd gotten the percentage of miscarriages from. I couldn't find anything - there was no statement on it saying from where the numbers were derived.
Curious, I checked the next few pages and noted that the same information was also absent.
Obviously, they'd gotten the statistics on births from Registrations, counting the numbers of new birth certificates issued in a given year, but there was no indication as to how they got the rest. I pulled the remaining sheets from my briefcase and laid them out in order, starting with the oldest Kakashi had stolen. 1453. 10 years ago.
Immediately, I noticed something and Kakashi's words came back to me.
"Look at that and tell me those numbers make sense to you."
That is what he'd said. Look at the numbers.
Well, I certainly saw something, and it was definitely concerning. Perhaps not enough to justify Kakashi's ravings but it was something. Regardless of how they were getting the numbers, Statistics had reported a consistent 13%-18% in miscarriages between 1453 and 1458. Then, in 1459, that 15%-18% jumped to a whopping 39%...climbing to 43% by last year. 1462. Which, of course, was when I had lost Tobiro.
It was a huge and abrupt spike.
I knew from reading the books Dr. Ito had recommended that in any given country, anywhere between 10% and 40% were considered normal percentages depending on how the data was being collected. Obviously, lower numbers weren't necessarily attributed to more miscarriages so much as they were due to how thoroughly the data was collected. Perhaps Konohagakure had changed how they were calculating the statistics on miscarriages?
Without thinking it through I grabbed a blank piece of paper and a pencil, copying down the years and numbers as I went. I was finished before I had realized what I was doing and came back to my senses. I'd been standing this whole time and finally lowered myself slowly to sit at my desk. Nearly an hour had to have passed since I'd begun taking down the data - after all it was a lot - but it felt like it had to have been only a few seconds.
I licked my lips, which had become dry, and leaned back in my chair. My chest clenched tightly and I felt overwhelmed with indecision. On one hand, even looking at this was humoring Kakashi on the other hand...something about the numbers just felt wrong.
There was no way Kakashi was right...but what if...he was?
Was this really a door I wanted to try opening?
I thought about the very room I was sitting in - the room that was supposed to be Tobiro's. The room which I was now healed enough to see as a safe place, a comforting place, instead of a haunting reminder. Wouldn't this only open old wounds? Wouldn't this set me back?
No, I couldn't do this. For once in my life I was going to listen to the people who cared about me and follow their instructions.
I stood up abruptly and shoved the papers back into my briefcase, before standing it up properly so they wouldn't fall out. Tomorrow they were going back and I wasn't going to consider this ever again. I turned and walked towards the door, flicking off the light and exiting into the hall. I closed the door behind me for good measure not that it would serve as a true deterrent if I changed my mind in the night. It would, however, serve as a reminder of my decision.
A reminder that I was supposed to be moving on.
XxX
Despite coming in nearly two hours early, I had not managed to be the first person into the office. When I reached Statistics there was a young woman sitting at one of the far back desks - sipping coffee and reading something. I had made too much noise entering and her head snapped up, her face twisted in confusion before turning to recognition.
She stood up quickly, straightening her skirt and looking quite startled. She reminded me of myself when I had first started; she couldn't be more than seventeen, her brown hair was cropped into a straight bob and her golden eyes were bright with ambition. She quickly closed the distance between us, coming to stand in front of me like a dutiful soldier.
"Miss Shiranui!" She exclaimed, seeming to be trying to contain excitement, "I didn't expect to see anyone here this early! Especially not someone like, well, you!"
Someone like...me?
"Excuse me?" I asked, my face blank.
Her excitement quickly turned to mortification and she stuttered for a few seconds before stopping herself and taking a deep breath.
"T-that's not what I meant to say." She corrected, "I mean, it was, but it didn't come out right. I didn't mean anything bad, I just meant important people never...come...here." She trailed off and gestured around the room awkwardly.
Important people?
I certainly was the only Ninja Relations Liaison but that didn't mean I was inherently 'important' and her clarification only made me more confused.
"I'm C-Chika. Chika Hagane." She stumbled, moving her hand towards me as if asking for a handshake. Still a little puzzled by her behaviour I took her hand and gave her a single, pointed shake. I released her immediately after and kept my face passive. I didn't want to give away how out of sorts I felt by her referring to me as an 'important person'.
Perhaps her seeing me as an important person would help get me out of this mess Kakashi had caused with his sticky, ninja fingers.
The brief contact seemed to have empowered the young woman and she smiled brightly, her eyes gleaming with unrestrained happiness. She seemed like the sort who wasn't capable of hiding her emotions - it reminded me a great deal of Naruto.
"Um," She started quickly, "I heard about you when I was at Koba Academy - you're one of their most distinguished alumni you know. O-our graduating class was hoping to get you as a guest speaker last year but you weren't available for some reason. If only I could have picked your brain back then, I would've died I'd have been so happy!"
I swallowed and did my best to keep my expression level. I was not used to this much attention.
Based on what I guessed was her age, she would have been entering the first year of Koba Academy when I had been exiting. Koba wasn't a very large school, since tuition was rather expensive, so I had thought that I would recognize her. Then again, I suppose she would have been 12 the last time I'd seen her so it made sense she may not look the same.
"I don't recall seeing you there-" I started but she cut me off.
"Oh, you wouldn't have. Despite our similar age I only started going a few years ago." She finally stopped to take a breath but it was a short-lived reprieve, "The tuition is so expensive I couldn't afford it. I failed the requirements two years in a row before I finally got in on a scholarship!"
Well, that answered that question. Getting into Koba on a scholarship was an impressive feat though: you had to be of the top 5% academically in the entire village to qualify. Even if you were a natural genius, you'd still need to study profusely to not only pass the exam, but maintain your academic average. Even I couldn't have managed that.
"An impressive achievement." I granted, secretly wondering how long this conversation was going to take.
"Oh, not really. It's just book smarts and that doesn't get you far in the real world…" She slowed down slightly, "I practically had to beg one of our Alumni to get this position and even now I'm only here on probation."
She seemed to brighten up after a short moment - she seemed optimistic.
"That's what I meant when I said I wished I could speak with you last year. You practically walked into this job and you've climbed so high in such a short period of time. And you're even trying to get a legislation change passed which, by the way, I just want you to know that I am such a huge supporter of your mission." The younger woman was practically gushing and I wondered if she was ever going to take another breath, "Working here at the Civil Affairs Office has always been my dream and I wanted to know if you could give me some advice?"
I opened and closed my mouth quickly while she stared at me with anticipation. I was speechless for the first time in a long time. After what felt like one of the longest, stretching silences in my life I realized that she was genuinely waiting for me to say something. What on earth was I supposed to say to her?
"What kind of advice?" I finally asked. I was starting to come to the realization that the longer I listened to this girl the more confused I got.
"Well, I work really hard every day." She started, "I come early and I stay late but still my supervisor says I'm on probation. I see my co-workers more than I see my husband! I couldn't figure it out; I've been working so hard and I actually love my work but she's kept me on probation for the last four months. So, I finally asked and my supervisor said, well she said…" She trailed off and I saw her eyes dim slightly before she seemed to immediately pick herself back up. Her face was set with a determined expression as she pinned me with her golden gaze.
"Well, she said it's because no one likes me." She clenched her lips into a thin line, and I could see that the statement hurt her but she was doing her best to ignore the pain. "But she wouldn't tell me why. If she told me what I was doing wrong I swear I would fix it!"
No one...likes her? From our first meeting she did not seem so bad. Maybe a touch chatty but there was nothing wrong with that as long as she still did her job.
"That's odd of her to say," I started after a moment of thought, "As long as you do your work how much others like you is irrelevant. Just keep working hard."
She almost seemed disappointed by my answer and despite myself I couldn't think of anything better to say. We stood there quietly for another few moments before she seemed to think of something.
"Oh!" She began, looking over at me, "Is there something I could help you with, Miss Shiranui? You must've come here for a reason."
I didn't really want to change topics so quickly, as even I wasn't satisfied with my answer, but since she'd mentioned it, I supposed it was time.
"Yes. I came to return these." I informed her, reaching into my bag, and pulling out the sheets. I handed them to her and mentally cringed when the first thing she did was flip through them quickly, her brow furrowing the more of them she read.
"That's odd. I don't remember these being released - I actually compiled the stats from 1462 myself a couple weeks ago. I hadn't approved it for viewing yet since I still need to do some editing." I felt both relieved and unnerved, realizing that not only had I encountered someone in the office but this someone was both the worst person I could have run into...and the best. She seemed to idolize me so if I could sweet talk her into letting this slide I'd be in the clear. Similarly, however, she was also the only person that would've known these documents weren't supposed to be taken in the first place.
"Yes, um, forgive me. I realize it's not proper but I took them Saturday night after the office was closed. It was a personal project between myself and" I thought quickly, "Shikaku Nara. We required the statistics for the last 10 years on births. We wanted to see whether the Nara Clan's birth rate had been declining. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after I took them that I realized they didn't have the data I was looking for. I would, of course, appreciate your discretion on this matter."
"Oh yes, of course! They are all accounted for and in good condition; if it was you, Miss Shiranui I don't see the point in making a fuss. I'm sorry they weren't what you needed...these are definitely too broad for that sort of information." The younger woman agreed, eyeing the most recent compilation thoughtfully before she seemed to perk up suddenly. "I could help you with that, Miss Shiranui! I'm sure I could find the time to go through the Nara birth certificates over the last 10 years and compile the data for you!"
It took everything I had to keep my face in its regular, passive mask. No, no, no. That's not what I wanted. Damn this girl for being so helpful.
"Thank you but that won't be necessary." I said quickly, watching as she seemed to wilt in front of me from the denial, "The Nara Clan head and I are very busy. We've decided to leave the project for later since it's not...pressing."
"Oh." Was all she said in response, absently shuffling the paperwork in her hands.
Suddenly, I remembered a question from last night and realized that the girl could help me satisfy my curiosity once and for all. If she could confirm that the village had been using a new way to track the miscarriage data over the last 3 years then that would mean there was nothing, absolutely nothing, to Kakashi's conspiracy theory. Then I could, once and for all, chase this nonsense from my mind.
"I have a question for you, Mrs Hagane." The younger woman visibly brightened at the thought of being useful and I suddenly felt like I was taking advantage of her. "Did the office start using a different method to calculate those percentages over the last, I don't know, three years or so?"
The woman blinked a few times as she processed the question before she tilted her head.
"Not that I'm aware of. Of course, I did just start four months ago but I remember in training they told me we had been using the same method since Lord Fourth took over. I suppose they could be exaggerating but, well, the ladies I work with aren't big on exaggerating."
Lord Fourth took over the village more than 10 years ago.
"So, you're telling me that the percentage of miscarriages has...always been calculated the same way?" I asked, watching as the woman blinked at me before glancing down at the paperwork in her hands. I knew the question was redundant, she'd already answered it, but I had to be sure. I had to ask again.
"Well, um, yes." She responded cautiously, clearly looking over the percentages in the last few years. "It is quite high isn't it. I don't exactly pay attention to what it would mean in the real world when I'm compiling the numbers. I just compile them blindly. They certainly don't seem very feasible...maybe I made a mistake?"
I doubted she did. She seemed very competent so far and besides, she had only done the most recent one. What about the two years prior to that? What were the chances of the two other workers making the same mistake?
"May I ask how you get that data?" My head screamed that I shouldn't ask. It screamed that I had to leave well enough alone - that Kakashi couldn't possibly be right and I was making a huge mistake.
But my heart told me I had to know.
"Oh, we um." She started, seeming to be trying to pull herself out of her thoughts over the documents she was reviewing. "We use the total population of the village, number of confirmed births, using birth certificates as proof, and the exact number of reported miscarriages by looking at Declarations of Paternity that were archived 'unfulfilled'. Obviously, that only accounts for Ninja families so we add 10% to accommodate the estimated number of miscarriages undocumented in civilian households or where a Declaration wasn't completed. So, it could always be off by about 10% but-"
She had cut herself off abruptly and seemed to be looking through the documents with more intensity.
They could always be off by 10%...but to be off by over 30%? She said that they used birth certificates and Declarations of Paternity to confirm the numbers they were working with. Then they added an estimated percentage on top to account for the rest. In other words, there was documentation to prove most of those miscarriages had happened.
Which would mean that last year, in 1462, positively 33% of all pregnancies in Konoha ended in a miscarriage. There was proof of them - they had really happened. They were not estimated and they were not guessed at. Not only did they really happen - specifically they happened to ninja families since the only positive proof they used were the Declarations.
Before I could stop them, the very words I had been avoiding and until that moment thought impossible, tumbled forward.
"Kakashi was right."