CHAPTER 23
I Feel It Coming
After 3 days of sleep on the couch, Bella woke up with stiffness in her neck and back while her mother slept comfortably having taken over her bedroom. Edward offered the guest bedroom in his house, but Charlie knows the guest bedroom will turn to sleeping in Edward's bedroom. Dressed in a light blue striped PJ short sleeve top and elastic waist shorts, Bella pulled down her top as she stood up from the couch. She stayed in the shadows of the hallway to the kitchen. Her father and mother were in the kitchen, talking softly. Bella felt the back of her neck tingle as she remembered the first night after her mother arrived to town.
Bella was half asleep when she saw her mother come down the stairs the other night. She had just arrived back to Forks. Charlie was surprised his ex-wife choose to stay with them. Bella only woke up because Renée hit the squeaky step on the way down. Renée took her pack of cigarettes and phone outside the back patio. Bella sneaked out.
"I can't believe you went back to Forks, Renée?"
"What other chose do I have Sara. I will never go back to my mom," Renée said lighting up a smoke. Bella never knew her mother smoked.
"Are you sure Phil is done with you?"
"He left for Japan and didn't even buy me a ticket to join him. He is done with me, and frankly I am done with him."
"Maybe he didn't want to take you from your daughter again. Japan is way farther away than Jacksonville."
"Doesn't matter. If he wants a divorce, I will find someone else."
"How is your daughter?"
"Oh, foolishly in love with some boy."
"That's great. She has been through so much."
"Oh it's nothing Sara. It's high school puppy love. I just hope he doesn't trap her like Charlie tried to do with me."
When Renée first met Edward, she wasn't very nice to him. She dismissed Edward like he was some bum unworthy of Bella. Renée even pulled Bella aside and told her to be protected, always using a condom and birth control if she and Edward are going to have sex. Renée could tell the type of guy Edward is. A pretty face and user. Renée wouldn't have Edward trap Bella like Charlie tried to keep her in Forks. Bella couldn't believe her mother would say having a baby was trapping her. She couldn't believe her mother thought such things. And their relationship has been strained ever since then. Bella's eyes went wide as she watched her father open his wallet and hand her mother some dollar bills after her mother kissed Charlie on the cheek with a big smile.
"What are you doing?"
"Bells, I didn't know you were awake," Charlie said.
"I'm gonna make breakfast"
"What are you doing?" Bella repeated her question.
"Honey, good morning, would you like some tea before I cook some eggs?" Renée said.
"No mother, I would not like any tea. I want to know why my father is giving you money."
"Bells, that's not.."
"Why are you giving her money Dad?" Bella asked.
"Honey, that is none of your concern," Renée said. Bella shook her head. The 2 years inside the mental hospital, her mother visited three times. Her mother was too busy with Phil, her younger husband. Renée was never a Mom. Not like Esme Cullen. Yes, she loved having Bella as a child and she loves her daughter, but to only visit your daughter three times after losing nearly 6 years of her life didn't ever sit well with Bella. Renée always put her husbands, interests and hobbies before being a good mother. Bella knew that, which is why she chose to live with her father instead of her mother when she got out of the mental hospital.
"Everything you do and take from my father is my concern."
"I have never taken…!"
"You're taking money from him now why? Has Phil refused to pay for any of your expenses? Has he finally seen your true colors? Is that why he left you for Japan?" Bella asked.
"Isabella Marie that is none of your business!"
"It is my business when you show up, only to take my father's money."
"I am not taking…"
"You took me away!" Bella yelled.
"Isabella Marie Swan, are you trying to make me angry young lady? Cause it's working! You will not speak to your mother like that!" Charlie yelled.
"No Dad! I am not a child!"
"You are sure to act like one!" Renée yelled back.
"Says the grown woman sleeping in her daughter's bedroom of her ex-husband's house because she ran away from husband number 6," Bella said.
"How dare you?!"
"I never should have left with you."
"Isabella!"
"No Dad! She took the money, the insurance money that should have paid for my hospital bills…"
"I needed that money…"
"You brought plane tickets for a vacation Mom! How selfish can you get! I watched Dad struggle to work every damn day, and still come visit me every week!"
"I needed that money to get..."
"No! While my father worked double shifts, drove back and forth to Seattle to see me every weekend you stayed in Japan because Phil's baseball career mattered more than your own daughter!"
"I told you my passport wouldn't allow me to travel back once I went to Japan last year…"
"I am your child! A mother is supposed to turn the world upside down to get to their child!"
"That is enough Isabella!" Charlie yelled. "I think we need to talk to your therapist together about all this pent up angry you surprisingly have against her mother for some reason."
"Maybe I should get a room at the motel in town until someone settles down and…"
"And what, get my father to pay for that as well? No! You are not leeching your way back into our lives…"
"Leeching? How dare you speak to your mother that way?"
"She knew about James, Dad!"
"What?" Charlie looked at his ex-wife, Renée.
"Knew what? I knew nothing about James or that vile Victoria…they were deplorable people," Renée said.
"And yet you stayed, married James for a year after I was gone."
"I am sorry. I get why you would blame me for bringing them into our lives, but if I knew what he and that heinous woman were capable of, I would have left…"
"You could have left James. You should have left him after I told you over and over again, he was a bad guy.."
"You were 7…" Renée stated.
"I was 7, but I knew he was a bad guy! The way he looked at me. The way he touched me." Bella looked at her mother dead in the eye. "I told you it didn't feel right when he punished me and you did nothing."
"Is that true Renée?" Charlie asked, dumbstruck.
"What? No! I...I...I didn't believe…"
"You didn't believe your own daughter when she said he hurt her!"
"No that is not it! It was never sexual, Bella was just a sensitive child and James, he liked order and structure… Charlie, I would never…"
"Did our daughter tell you she didn't feel safe there? That he hurt her? Is that why she tried to call me at the station a week before she went missing! Did you call me to get away Bella?" Bella nodded. She remembered just not feeling safe in the house as long as James was around. He never touched her sexually, but his grip on her back and arms made her feel uncomfortable. He lingered, holding her longer and sometimes stronger than he needed it. Almost like he wanted Bella to feel pain.
Bella wanted to go live with her father. James was a mean, bitter man. Bella would ask for simple things like a glass of water or snack, and James would refuse calling her a fat kid, locking her outside to "play". He even burned one of Bella's favorite books because she interrupted a basketball game to say her pet fish had died. And then a woman with red hair always seemed to be stalking the house. Bella felt unsafe which is why a week before the crazed feline Victoria kidnapped her, she tried to reach out to her father. But unfortunately Charlie was in another town dealing with an issue of a wild bear on the loose close to town. Bella never got a chance to call her father again.
"Charlie…"
"Don't Charlie me! Did you know?" Charlie asked.
"Of course not!" Renée yelled.
"How could you have stayed with that man after I went missing?" Bella asked.
"No one knew who took you! And James, James, he...he assured me that he would do everything in his power to find you for me and bring you home."
"Yes, he sure did that while he beat me every day and stayed with you," Bella spat.
"Get out."
"Excuse me?" Renée asked.
"You can't stay here," Charlie said. "I need you to pack your things and leave this house right now."
"But..but where would I go! I...I.. Charlie please…I have nowhere else to go."
"I don't care Renée. This is just like after James dumped you. You came running back to me because you felt guilty only to leave me for the next moneybags."
"You blamed me for losing Bella!"
"I blamed you for not spending every dollar to find our child! I went through loan after loan to find my child! As soon as that Clark guy offered you a better life, you left me and forgot all about finding Bella."
"It had been years, for all I knew she was gone forever!"
"NO Renée! GO! How could you not believe your own daughter?"
"I didn't know. If I knew…"
"It doesn't matter now. I never stopped looking for her, unlike you did. And I will never stop taking care of my daughter. You need to leave."
"This is all your fault!" Renée yelled at Bella. Charlie jumped between his ex-wife and daughter. He protected Bella.
"Don't you dare yell at your daughter! She has been through enough! Get out!"
Bella watched her mother walk out the front door with her suitcase and tote bag. Renée gave Bella a nasty glare as she passed by. Charlie put his arm around Bella's shoulders to comfort his child the way a mother should but Renée never could. Renée climbed into the cab and didn't look back.
"Are you ok Dad?"
"Me? I never knew Bella. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I guess I thought it just didn't matter any more."
"Babygirl, these are things we need to talk about, so you don't blow up like today," Charlie said.
"I'm sorry, I thought...I didn't want to make any problems."
"You should have told me from the beginning Bells. I would have understood and I would never let your mother back into our lives had I known."
"I thought she might have changed."
"Renée? Changed? She has been the same selfish girl since she came to this town when she was 16 years old."
"I'm sorry Dad."
"No, I'm sorry."
"I know you and Mom have always been close…"
"Nah, I'm just a… Famous ladies man."
"Ew Dad…" Charlie smiled. "We're ok Dad?"
"Of course. I love you Bells."
"Love you too Dad. Forever. Now, don't we need to get ready to head to La Push?" Bella asked.
"We don't have to go today." Charlie, Bella, Renée spent half a day in La Push after Christmas to exchange gifts. Edward joined them to give his gift to Seth. He even brought small gifts for Jacob, Embry, Quill and Leah and the hopes to break that ice, but they were not welcoming. Billy had to yell when he saw Jacob toss Edward's gift into the fire. Edward just shrugged, since he only got Jacob some Wolverine socks.
"No Dad, it's fine. I want to see see the boys and yell at Jacob for being ungrateful again." Charlie smiled.
"You sure you don't want to stay and just be with Edward?" Charlie asked.
"Edward is coming for dinner later tonight remember. You said you wanted me to always have a healthy balance of Edward, Alice and my friends."
"Right." Bella agreed to spend a day in La Push in exchange as long as Edward can come by for dinner more than 3 times this week. "I'm going to go shower first."
"Ok, I can make us a light breakfast. We know Billy will make a big lunch."
"That is true Bells."
"I'm sorry about Mom, Dad."
"I don't know why I let her come back... " Bella knew. Her father still loved her mother. He won't admit it to her, probably hasn't to himself. But Bella knew. In a way, she will always love her mother. She has to. But she always knew her mother. Renée's life has always been chaotic, as she always got herself into heavy situations. As Bella grew, she began to assume many of the adult responsibilities in the home, simply because she was better suited to them than Renée was. Even at 6, Bella was more responsible than her own mother. "I'm so sorry Bella."
"Oh Daddy, it's ok." Bella hugged Charlie.
"I love you Bells."
"I love you Dad, forever."
You've been scared of love and what it did to you
You don't have to run, I know what you've been through
Just a simple touch and it can set you free
We don't have to rush when you're alone with me
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe (I know what you feel right now)
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe (I know what you say right now)
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe (I know what you say right now)
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
Edward arrived for dinner, carrying some pink roses into the house as he could smell a fresh baking pie on his own. He brought the flowers in the hopes of getting into Bella's mother's good graces. Bella had some music playing. Right now "I Feel It Coming" by Weeknd was playing. He arrived a bit early for dinner to spend a bit more time with Bella.
"Hey!" Bella and Edward exchanged kisses on the lips before Charlie would see. Even though everyday, Charlie gets better accustomed to Bella and Edward dating and being in love, seeing them kiss is not something a father wants to watch his 16-year old daughter do. Out of respect for Charlie, Bella and Edward stray from any form of PDA away from holding hands. One time in the beginning, Edward placed his hand on Bella's knee and Charlie flipped out.
"Where is your mother?"
"Long story, I will tell you later after dinner. Charlie is grilling steaks and I'm making scampi mushrooms spaghetti."
"Of course he is grilling steaks," Edward said.
"I baked a pie too."
"Blueberry?"
"Of course, it's your favorite right," Bella said.
"You know it." Edward followed Bella into the kitchen. She was dressed in a simple yellow tank top, gray fleece pants and her gray bunny slippers. She was at her best comfortable state.
Edward and Bella was relaxing on the couch when Charlie came out from cleaning the grill.
"Another hour Edward, then you go home."
"Of course sir." Charlie had an early morning shift. It was December 29th. Charlie would need to work another overnight to have New Year's Eve off like he did for Christmas.
"Good night Bells. Good night Edward."
"Good night Dad."
"Good night sir," Edward said. Charlie went upstairs. Bella waited until she finished hearing the shower and Charlie close his door. "So where is your mother?"
"I sort of blew up at her," Bella said.
"About what?"
"I got angry when I saw my Dad giving her money."
"Why was she asking for money?"
"I don't know, probably to find a way to Japan and beg Phil to take her back or find another man that will marry her."
"Wow."
"I just can't believe she thought she could come here and use my Dad again," Bella said.
"I'm sorry Bella."
"It's not your fault."
"She hated me," Edward said.
"She was afraid of you."
"Afraid?"
"Of how much you meant to me. She knew I love you and she has never felt that love, so it scared her."
"I would never try to trap you or…"
"I know Edward. But being with you would never be a trap. It would be a dream come true." Edward leaned down and kissed Bella on the lips. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.