Ivy had everything packed up and ready to roll. She'd even gotten the hyenas into their kennels in the back of the van without being seen. The only reason she wasn't on the street looking for Harley was the faint hope that she'd turn up back here. If Harley did that and found her gone, she'd just go back out looking for her … and Joker was out there somewhere.
Waiting without knowing was the worst sort of torture. She could wait in Arkham for days, weeks, months, patient as only the Green could be, because sooner or later they always made a mistake. Somehow, some way, she'd get free again. Waiting in this ordinary living room for Harley to return, not knowing if even now Joker had found her, scraped Ivy's nerves raw and made her heart beat painfully in her chest.
Her phone rang – leaving it on was a risk, but to hell with risk. Right now she needed to know. It was Selina's number, and Ivy snatched it up, ready to be relieved instead of furious if Harley had gotten herself captured by the Bats. At least then Ivy would know where she was. "Well?" she demanded.
"I just heard from Red Hood and Blur," Selina said.
Of course it would fall to Joker's nemesis and the meta on the team. Pam sighed, dropping into a chair. "They caught her."
"No. She set fire to one of Joker's hideouts, and they think it was her, but he called to tell me they hadn't spotted her," Selina said. "She's probably on her way back to you."
"She set fire to one of his hideouts?!" Ivy exclaimed, a vicious ache pulsing in her temples. "She does have a death wish. Goddess spare me."
"It's a very impressive fire, apparently. I'm surprised Blur didn't spot her," Selina said. "At least we know she made it away from the scene in one piece."
"How do they know that, if they never saw her?" Ivy asked.
She could almost picture Selina's shrug, by her dry tone. "Blur's got enhanced senses, I guess she could see if a fight happened. Pam, honey, call me when Harley gets in, all right? I want to take a chunk out of her for being this reckless, too. But I also want to hear her voice and know she's all right."
Selina sounded oddly calm; maybe she knew something she couldn't pass on. It was frustrating to have a friend who worked for the other side. Right now, as long as Harley was safe, Ivy didn't care about anything else. "I will. None of your other caped friends saw any sign of her?"
"They're all on the first fire, the one Joker set," Selina told her, and when Ivy gasped, she continued. "Yeah, he burned down part of a high school. Set out the accelerant so it spells 'J + H' from the air. There's no way Harley could've known, with the timing, but this is going to look like a blatant 'fuck you' message, when he realizes she was burning down his current address while he was out sending a message to her."
"Good. Let him froth about it when we're well out of the city," Ivy said coldly, and heard the scrape of keys in the lock.
She froze, for one second thinking betrayal, expecting that Selina had kept her on the phone just long enough for that to be a Bat breaking in … but no, that was just paranoia, the Bats didn't have keys. They'd pick the lock or come in through a window. She heard the distinctive click and turned, her heart thundering, to see Harley herself skitter through the door, panting and wide-eyed.
"She's here," Pam said, and forgot all about letting Selina talk to Harley. She just dropped the phone to the nearest surface and stepped toward Harley, holding her arms out. "Harley, my love, come here."
"I'm sorry, Pammy, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you but I couldn't let it go," Harley babbled, still breathless, as she launched herself into Ivy's arms. She was trembling all over with more than cold, and she smelled faintly of gasoline. "I know I shouldn't have, I know, I'm sorry, I promise I'll be good from now on, that was a dumb thing I did and I'm sorry, I love you, I promise I won't…"
Ivy caught her chin, tilted her face up, and cut her off with a kiss. Harley made a surprised mmph noise, but wrapped her arms around Ivy's neck and leaned into it. When she pulled back for air, Ivy murmured, "I don't care. I love you. All that matters is you're here, you're safe, none of them saw you."
Harley gave a wild laugh at that. "I ain't that lucky, Pam-a-lamb. Freakin' Blur caught me, and holy shit she's fast, she took all my knives and my gun before I could even see it happen! The craziest thing is, her and Hoodie let me go!"
Pam reared back in horror. "Harleen! Did they let you go, or did they track you?" Even now her mind raced, wondering what she could possibly do against an unknown meta who'd broken her control once before.
Harley's eyes flashed with hurt – and a burst of temper. "Gimme some credit, Pam. I knew better than to lead 'em back to you. If there's anything I'm good at, it's avoidance. I even ditched my coat and scarf in case she planted a tracker on me."
Ivy cupped her cheeks, feeling how cold her skin was, and kept her voice mild. "Harley, darling, I know how brilliant you are. I love that about you. But we are wheels-up in three hours and you snuck out to intentionally provoke the man who wants to kill you slowly. You get zero credit for anything right now."
She wilted a little with that pointed out. "Yeah, okay, that's fair. But they did let me go. I think they were gonna bring me in, and apparently Batman's got a cell set aside in the Batcave for me – yeesh, creepy much? – but when I pointed out what a bad idea that was, the two of 'em decided to let me go. She took all my weapons, even took the bullets outta my gun, and that made getting home awful scary. I guess Selina was right, they really don't wanna get me killed."
"At least those two don't," Pam said, thoughtful. She leaned in and kissed Harley again, soft and welcoming and glad to have her home safe.
Harley smiled into it, and leaned her forehead against Ivy's. "Hoodie even talked to somebody – it's weird, the Bats use the same information broker I heard from in the squad, some chick named Oracle – and I think she faked not being able to hear 'em. Even the good guys want us to get away."
"Once we're out of the States, we're not their problem anymore," Ivy murmured, and held her close.
"Also that's one thing about Batsy, he doesn't want any of us killed." Harley yawned, and snuggled against her. "Y'know, as much as I wanna kill Mistah J, I'm glad to get out."
"Me too," Pam murmured, stroking her hair.
Harley sighed. "Red Hood and the Blur are gonna kill 'im. I can't even be mad, after what Joker did to him. And she's fierce about her boyfriend. I wonder if Batsy knows those two are plannin' to murder the Joker right under his nose."
"They'll have to be careful. Joker is entirely too lucky," Pam told her.
"'S not luck," Harley said, and yawned again. "At least, not if wha' he tol' me is true. Might not've been. He lies sometimes … all the stories … run together."
"What did he tell you?" Ivy asked, intrigued despite herself.
"Tha' he doesn' hafta worry 'bout anythin', nobody can kill 'im. Supposedly he made a deal w' the devil, full moon and a crossroads and all tha' spooky shit." Harley's voice was starting to slur, and she blinked owlishly at Ivy.
The thought of Joker literally selling his soul for immortality should have sounded ridiculous, like just another of his grandiose pronouncements, but it sent a chill up Ivy's spine. There were stranger things out there walking the night. And Joker had escaped what looked like certain death on far too many occasions.
Of course, he'd told a lot of self-aggrandizing lies, too. Harley yawned again. "'m so tired. Why'm I so tired?"
"Because I'm not letting you do anything else reckless until we can get on that plane," Pam told her gently. "I love you, Harley. I hope you'll forgive me. That last kiss was loaded with enough sedative-hypnotic compounds to knock out a horse."
Harley blinked at her, and tried to smile. "Pammy … tha's rude…" A moment later, she slumped over snoring, and Ivy got her settled on the couch.
She sighed, looking down at her lover. Joker was probably just telling tales – he could spin a story out of nothing, to impress his enemies or followers. And she didn't strictly believe in any nonsense about deals with the devil. Then again, most people didn't believe in her connection to the Green.
Turning away, Ivy saw the phone still sitting on the bookshelf where she'd left it, and went to pick it up. The screen was still lit up, and she placed it to her ear. "How much of that did you hear, Selina?"
"Enough to know my hunch was right. No reason for Hood to call me just to say he hadn't seen her," Selina replied. "I'm not saying a word to anybody. You take care of Harley, all right? And I'm going to have to break this phone before Bats figures out I have it, or he'll want to trace you."
Pam sighed, knowing that breaking the burn phones was only temporary. "Leave yours active for now, and I'll let you know when we're out. Then we can both snap the SIM cards and slow him down a little."
"Sounds like a plan. You've got my address, you can always send a postcard," Selina said, sounding bleak.
Ivy let herself smile. She and Selina were more complicated and contentious than Selina and Harley, but she'd proven herself the kind of friend they were lucky to have. "Maybe I'll just send you a private message on Capespotting. I know that's you on the Catwoman fan page, Selina."
At least it earned her a laugh. "Careful, he knows that screen name. His flock stalks the message boards, too. I'm going to make myself another account soon here, just so I have some anonymity."
"We'll figure something out. Selina, I'm getting in the van now. We can wait somewhere until it's time to leave." Ivy looked around the small apartment ruefully, knowing it wouldn't be easy to get the last few things loaded without Harley's help. Moving Harley herself wouldn't be easy, either.
"Be safe. Joker's going to be extra pissed when he realizes what she did," Selina told her. "Pam – I love you both."
With no witnesses, Ivy let herself answer truthfully. "We love you, too. You be safe. Once he realizes we're gone, he's going to lose whatever mind he has left."
And that prospect was horrifying enough to send a chill down her spine as she signed off with Selina.
…
Jay had things locked down by the time they left to meet up with the rest. He and Kala had helped fight the fire at Joker's hideout, but there wasn't much they could do without specialized training. The gasoline burned off pretty quickly anyway, leaving a shell of a building, and at least they could confirm no one had been inside.
So, Brentwood, Batclan, and the acid test. Honestly, Jay didn't care about it for his own sake. If Bruce figured out that he'd let Harley go, so the fuck what? It was a judgment call, and he'd done what looked like it would cause the least harm at the time. He was only worried for Kala. If Bruce figured it out, he might tell her father, and that wouldn't go well.
"No sign of her?" Batman asked when they landed on the roof next to the smoking remains of the Batplane.
"No, she got away clean," Jay said, keeping his voice level. "Any luck with Joker?"
"Not yet. When he finds that hideout burned, he may do something to reveal himself," Bruce said, and it seemed that easy. They might just get away with it.
Then he fixed his shrewd gaze on Kala, and Jay's stomach tightened. Ah shit, he'd jinxed it just thinking it. "Do you have it under control?" Bruce asked.
She blinked, brows furrowed, and Jay saw understanding dawn. "Oh, yeah, we're status quo. It was only a brief slip. It was a really strong surge … but that shouldn't be a huge surprise. We already know she really hates Joker."
"Because you hate Joker," Bruce pointed out.
To her credit, Kala didn't bristle at the blunt appraisal, though her eyes did flash. No other physical reaction to being called out. He was proud of her. "Who doesn't?" Kala quipped, but Jay heard an edge of challenge in her voice. No one else bothered to argue with her, though.
Instead, all of them looked down at the burning school, and Oracle's voice crackled in their ears. "According to the fire chief, it looks like the fire had three distinct origins."
"It'd have to, to make the initials," Jay muttered. He still couldn't believe his old school was toasted. It felt uncomfortably like someone walking over his grave – and he'd stood before his own headstone, he knew that feeling better than most.
Babs continued, "I've got a bad feeling about this, people. They've isolated at least one of the initial fire locations, and it's a classroom that was the home room for seniors with the last name A through D, last year."
Tim startled at that. "Ms. Seebol's room?"
"Yes, that's the teacher's name. I'm checking my records, but I suspect the other two locations will be similarly significant."
"This isn't coincidence," Dick said, his voice cold. "My car, the library – this is targeted. He's taunting us." Jay bristled at the thought, the way he always did when Joker got up to his tricks.
"He knows?" Kala said, horrified, and Jay knew why chills were running up her spine. The same ice was dancing along his own nerves. Anyone who knew who they were had a better chance of figuring out who everyone else was. The mere possibility of Joker knowing, of their worst enemy having all that information at his fingertips, was enough to make Jay nauseous.
"He knows who I am," Babs said. "He's known that ever since Batgirl disappeared. Most of our allies should be safe – we arranged things so our guests wouldn't be obvious. But I highly suspect he knows the true identities of at least some of us."
"He could've figured me out real easy, years ago," Jay said, keeping his voice level by effort of will. And then, looking at Kala, he added, "You're safe. There's no reason to connect you – as far as anyone knows, your other identity is miles from here. We did it that way on purpose."
As much as she had fought down the Empress earlier, he could see the ghost of her alter in her coldly-furious expression. It only seemed to compound her earlier declaration. "I'm not worried about that right now," Kala said staunchly. "This is your city. My problem is that I don't like him knowing about you. Or any of you, for that matter."
"One Robin could be coincidence. If he's guessed two more, he knows Batman," Tim pointed out.
"Which means he will definitely target the Roost," Bruce said grimly.
"Catwoman said he might come there anyway," Babs hastened to add. "I'm sure she's taking precautions."
"The Roost is a defensible position," Bruce replied. "We need to get back to it – we have guests who are unaware of the situation."
Jay nodded, and figured now was a good time to try and regroup. "Blur and I are going to my place. I've got more of my stuff there – and if there is a problem at the Roost, we'll be unaffected and able to come in and outflank trouble."
Bruce looked at him shrewdly, but nodded. "Go. Stay in touch."
"Always," Kala said reassuringly.
She flew the both of them to the bunker without a word, seeming lost in thought, and Jay shut the door with a deep sigh. "Well, fuck," he finally said.
"Yeah," Kala replied with a slow exhale of her own, pulling at the elastic in her hair to run anxious hands through it. Yeah, K was feeling the tension, too. He popped the helmet off and tossed it aside, then wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose in her now-loose hair. "Absolutely not how I expected this to fall out tonight. This is nuts, y'know?"
"It is. But we did the best we could," Jay said.
She laughed bleakly against his collarbone. "It's my second day here. If this is the way things are trending, we're gonna have Godzilla wading out of the bay by New Year's to duke it out with King Ghidorah. No need for all this excitement just for me."
"We'll have to fit that in our busy lying-to-Batman, murdering-the-Joker schedule, then," Jay said, rubbing her back.
Kala looked up at him, her eyes stricken. He should have expected that, really, considering her stance on it. Her conscience was nagging her now, even if she'd been sure of her decision at the time. "Jay, I'm sorry. I just … I couldn't see any other way out. I don't want to find her dead, Jay. It should have been your call, I know, and I know it's not what Dad would've done…"
"I get it," Jay said, cutting her off gently. "What else could we do? Fly her to the Fortress? It's another prison, at least one with sunlight and fresh air. And if you take her there, she's gonna know what you are. Might as well take out a billboard."
She shivered. "I never thought of that and thank God. That would have been … yeah, not real bright. But I could see how it would look to her, to be locked up in the Batcave. We all know that wouldn't have ended well; it actually might even have been the more dangerous option, if we don't underestimate her. Think about it: she's got no reason to trust Batman. Or anyone else. Do we really want her that close to the heart of things? If Joker knows your identities, I doubt he would have been willing to pass that on to Harley. We would have known tonight if she did. Can you imagine what would happen if she managed to get upstairs?" Kala had paled as she laid that out, looking almost ill.
Jay shrugged. "We could dump her and Ivy on a deserted island somewhere, but then Ivy'll take over the whole region in five years. Plant-Pirates of the Caribbean sounds like a shitty sequel, I don't wanna be responsible for that." And never mind that by letting them both go, he and Kala were responsible for whatever Harley and Ivy decided to do now. Hopefully the two of them would take their fresh start and run with it.
She closed her eyes briefly in a sigh, looking up at him with an uneasy look of apology. "There were no good choices. I couldn't see a way clear, Jay. I had to pick the best of some bad ones," Kala said sadly.
"We had to pick the best of the bad ones," Jay pointed out. "I coulda stopped you. I coulda argued with you. Hell, Babs coulda stopped us. You're fine, K. We did what we had to." It still hurt, somewhere deep in his chest, to watch her second-guess herself like this. Jay didn't like letting Harley go, either. Showing mercy to anyone connected to the Joker was a fool's game, he knew that. It was worse seeing Kala try to take all of the blame on herself. What the hell had he done to Supergirl, anyway, that she had to make these kinds of calls?
His phone rang before he could follow that train of thought any deeper. Jay glanced at it, seeing a local number he didn't recognize, and answered warily. "Paulie's Psychic Pizza, that'll be twenty-four fifty, in thirty minutes."
Kala's reaction to that was priceless. That absolutely Super expression of fascinated horror, completely thrown by the unexpected change in dark-humored tone, and Jay just smirked at her. Yeah, that never got old. She'd missed the Stolen Lager brewery one, he'd have to tell her about it. In his ear, Selina's voice said, "Psychic pizza is pretty good. When I was in middle school, I answered the phone with 'Frank's Taxidermy, you snuff 'em we stuff 'em' one time. It was my grandmother, I got grounded for a week."
Jay chuckled and put her on speaker. "See, my go-to in middle school was 'Roadkill Cafe, you kill 'em we grill 'em'. Hey Selina, everything good at the house?" Despite the seriousness of their current situation, he fought another chuckle when he glanced over at his girl to see the way she'd wrinkled her nose at him disgustedly over the phone pranks.
"Yeah. The rest of the gang is on their way home to play babysitter, but I wanted to call and thank you before they confiscate my burner phone." She sounded resigned, but honestly grateful.
Jay raised an eyebrow, and Kala gave an eloquent shrug, but her eyes were shrewd. She was obviously thinking the same thing. "Thank me for what?" he asked.
Selina laughed softly. "If you don't know, I'm not telling you. But you do know. Thank you both."
Somehow, she already knew about them letting Harley go. Jay wasn't entirely surprised. "Yeah, well, do whatever you can to make sure we don't regret it, all right?"
"I will. Keeping in touch is going to be difficult, but I may hear from them again. I'll pass that on." She sighed, sounding tired and stressed-out and almost defeated, not a tone Jay was used to hearing from the ever-insouciant Catwoman.
"They're gonna be all right," he told her.
"God, I hope so," Selina said. "They'll be gone in about two hours. I gotta go – I'm going to hide this phone before he gets home, because I don't need him tracking them down. I'll probably be on house arrest for a while, but you two are coming back to main house soon, right?"
"Yeah, probably," Jay said. "I wouldn't miss the food. Better that we hunker down out here tonight, and see what he's gonna do."
Selina took a shaky breath. "Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that."
Jay could only echo the sentiment, and Kala snuggled close to him at that, eyes on his. She spoke toward the receiver. "Selina, I've got an ear out. I'm paying as much attention as possible. I can be there in seconds. If it comes to it … I have a whole 'nother army I can rally. And considering the on-off partnership between them, no one can even guess my connection correctly."
"Sweetheart, I'm counting on it," Selina said. "B will hate it, but sometimes you get by with a little help from your friends."
Kala's response was instant and firm, steadfast in her loyalty. "And sometimes Uncle Bruce just has to accept it. Especially in a situation like this. There really wasn't any other choice, not that would be the right one."
"He'll get over it," Selina said, with a trace of her usual cheer, and they signed off. Jay just hugged Kala, and she hugged him back.
"Well, Selina's covering our asses, too," Jay quipped.
"She would. They're her friends," Kala pointed out.
…
Joker stood at the end of the street, a mile away from his current hideout, and watched the red and white lights splashing the sides of nearby buildings. His men shuffled nervously behind him, waiting for an explosion.
He merely sighed. "Harley, Harley, Harley. My Harley-girl. What a pain in the ass you are."
Good ol' Jonny Frost was at his side, quietly awaiting orders. Frost was never surprised, and he never flinched from anything Joker asked him to do. Useful man to have around, Frost. Joker looked at him, and said calmly, "Guess we'd better move to a new location. Hope none of you boys left any keepsakes back there, 'cause it's all up in smoke." He chuckled to himself, subdued, and Frost followed him back to the van.
Joker paused, one hand on the rear door. "Say, Jonny-Jonny, who was supposed to stay behind and keep watch? You remember?"
"No sir," Frost replied, because Joker hadn't told someone to keep watch. He'd needed a bunch of guys to pull off the school fire, with three separate starting locations that had to be right, and a precise trail of accelerant. He hadn't thought Harley would come out to send him a love-letter the same night.
Well, no mind. Someone had to answer for the lack. "Jonny? Your gun." Joker held out his hand, and Frost placed his revolver into it, grip first.
The very next second, its muzzle was pressed to his forehead. "Someone should've been on watch. This is the kind of thing I expect a good lieutenant to do without being asked. We could've caught her tonight, if someone was standing guard."
"Understood, sir. It won't happen again." Frost spoke calmly; there was no fear in his eyes. The man was something like a high-functioning catatonic now, he had no startle reflex left, and he didn't feel anything much in the way of emotion. He just did what he was told, and never, ever tried to double-cross the boss.
The rest of the men stepped aside, expecting Joker to agree that it wouldn't happen, and blow Frost's brains out in the middle of the street. Which was tempting, but it took too long to make a man like Frost. He'd had to be broken down to utter basics, shamed and terrified and shattered, to rebuild him into this. And Joker didn't have the time to pick apart anyone else's mind and snap off all the switches in their survival instinct.
So Joker simply asked, "Who would you have left on guard, if you'd done it right?"
"Basil and Pinky Joe," Frost said promptly. Good choices, actually, Pinky Joe was a twitchy nervous little rodent, but he made a good watchman. Paranoia was convenient that way. Problem was, he tended to spook at things that weren't there; he got his name by cutting off his pinky finger, claiming there was a government tracking device in it. Basil was steadier, a good balance for Pinky Joe, and a good enough fighter to slow Harley down.
"Hey man, what the fuck?!" Pinky Joe squeaked, and Joker shot him through the eyeball. He turned the gun on Basil next, and the big man's eyes went wide … but he didn't run.
"Don't let it happen again," Joker said to Basil, and grinned. The rest of them were damn near soiling themselves, and he got into the van laughing at their scared sheep-faces. "Drive, Jonny! I need to lay a trap for my lil' sweetheart. This is going to take time, and effort, and planning. But it'll be so worth it, to get her back and show the world what Harley's really made of." Joker sat down, leaning against the side of the van, and smiled beatifically. He'd been reading reports from the cartels down south, and figuring out ways to keep her alive as long as possible once he got his hands on his wandering Harley.
…
Harley woke up, her mouth dry and her head achy, but she'd been heavily sedated before. "Ohhh, Pammy, that was mean," she complained, trying to sit up. She was lying across the back seat of the big conversion van they'd acquired for this trip.
She reached for the back of the seat in front of her, and found her hands cuffed. "Pam?!" she yipped, quickly realizing her ankles were shackled, too.
"I'm not taking any more chances," Pam said from the driver's seat, looking back at her. "You can stay right there until we're at the airport."
"Aww, Pam, c'mon. You know I hate bondage if it's not fun," Harley wheedled, flopping back down. Both sets of cuffs were connected to a waist chain, which was locked into the seatbelt; Pam really wasn't taking any chances. Behind her, she heard a nervous chuckle from the hyenas, whose crates must be taking up most of the back.
"And I hate waking up to find you gone," Pam said sharply, and Harley winced. "Especially now."
"All right, that's fair," Harley sighed. Something occurred to her, and she scowled. "Aw, crap. I had a postcard I was gonna send to Floyd. Guess I'll get another."
"I found it last night, and dropped it in the mailbox on the way out," Pam told her. She still sounded grumpy, but with Harley not arguing, she was settling down.
"What a sweetheart! You think of everything," Harley said, chains jangling as she clasped her hands under her chin demurely.
"Someone has to," Pam told her.
Harley stretched, trying to get comfortable. Pam had left the chains longer than she should've, really – she had a little too much room to maneuver. If a jail guard had done it like this, Harley would've strangled them with the chains as a reminder to take her seriously. From Pam, it was a kindness. Harley put her feet up on the door, regarding the chains, and said, "Y'know what this reminds me of?"
"How much you miss Selina, I imagine," Pam said dryly.
She giggled at that. A lot of fond memories were being left behind in Gotham. "Hey, you miss her too. For different reasons, but still. Kitty's been a good friend."
"Yes, she has, and I will miss her. But I'm much more glad to be leaving this miserable town, with you." Pam sounded almost melancholy about it though.
Harley had to reflect on the whole situation. Here she was, having finally left Joker for good, leaving town with her gorgeous and brilliant girlfriend, looking for a new adventure. Everybody she cared about was as safe as she could make them, and even the do-gooders were giving her the thumbs'-up to escape and start over someplace fresh. It was the ending she never expected, but the best of all possible outcomes. "Hey, Pammy, it's just you and me now," she said thoughtfully. "Well, and the boys. We're gonna do things right this time."
"At least we can try to do things differently," Pam said, and smiled at her.
"You never did tell me where we're going," Harley pointed out after a few minutes.
Pam's eyes met hers in the rearview mirror. "I'm not going to, either. At least not until we get to our first stop."
"First stop? We goin' on a tour or somethin'?" Harley asked, curious now.
Pam nodded. "Something like that. I'm going to visit an old friend, briefly, who can help us. And we need more than a million dollars to be secure, so I found someone who could use my special talents, and is willing to pay for them. They're fronting part of the cost of this trip – the price on our heads is too high for most people to overlook."
"Oooh, nice," Harley said, wondering. "Hey, Pam? Can I ask you somethin'?"
"You can ask, I may not answer," Pam told her.
"Wherever we're goin', is gay marriage legal there?"
Harley didn't know what reaction to expect from that question, but Pam swerving to the curb and slamming on the brakes wasn't it. She turned completely around in the driver's seat and stared at Harley, who just shrugged. "Are you serious?" Pam demanded.
"Well, yeah. I mean it's a consideration more than an actual proposal, y'know. Not exactly the most romantic circumstances. I'm kinda handcuffed right now and I gotta go ring-shopping an' all, but yeah, it's on my radar." Harley looked at her steadily, wanting her to know that for once, she wasn't joking.
Pam just stared for a long minute. "Harley … I love you. It hasn't even been two months since you left him."
"Point, but I'm finally right enough in the head to see what's good for me," Harley told her. "I let a lotta things slip past me. I'm not lettin' go of this."
The redhead rubbed a hand over her face. "You have a long and storied history of acting in haste and repenting at leisure. And I thought I'd be the one making the proposal, when the time came."
"Wait, you think you're the guy in this relationship?" Harley asked.
"There is no guy in this relationship, that's rather the point," Pam told her, chuckling. "And Selina would tell you, if you don't know who the dominant party in your relationship is, it's not you."
"Oh, burn," Harley laughed, but she'd never been the one in charge of most things. Just because Pam wasn't over-the-top domineering (like certain exes) didn't mean she wasn't a natural leader, where Harley was a born follower.
"Give it time, Harley," Pam said, indulgently. "I don't know if it's legal there, I'll check, but since when have we cared about laws? All I care about is you."
"But you'll think about it?" Harley asked, raising her eyebrows.
Pam smiled. "Yes."
…
Bruce arrived home and immediately checked the Manor's security, going over the computers upstairs and downstairs, then physically checking each camera and sensor. Dick watched him doing it with a frown. There was something unsettlingly obsessive about his demeanor – and that was saying something, when Bruce was already fairly obsessive about security.
Donna had woken up when they got back, and she'd listened in to the debriefing from the night's events. Now she stood beside him. "I can stay, if you need me to," she offered.
Dick sighed. "You've got that gallery opening in National City. I don't want to make you late. Besides, Bruce is going full Bat on this, he's going to want everyone else out of town while Joker goes on a rampage."
She leaned her chin on his shoulder with a sigh. "Roy and Lian and Kala are staying."
"Roy and Lian are leaving in a couple days. Kala … Kala was trained here. Besides, if it gets too hot, Jay will try to run her off. He asked her to stay out when we had kryptonite coming in, and she did. K gets it, even if she doesn't necessarily like it."
"You Bats just don't like to share your rogues," Donna said, and it was a sad attempt at humor. Both of them knew why.
"Hey, you Amazons don't share yours much either. Mostly because you're out there fighting literal gods and we wouldn't survive that," Dick pointed out.
"Not always. And I know why you don't want anyone else crossing Joker," Donna told him, giving him a very serious look. "The only thing worse than Joker himself, would be something like us driven crazy by him."
Dick remembered seeing Kala shift, that first time she'd encountered Joker, the way the Clown's presence brought out her alter ego. He never wanted something like that to happen to Donna. Too much had already happened to her, and it was a miracle she hadn't already fractured. The two women had different kinds of strength: Donna stood unbowed despite it all, Kala bent with the winds of madness and still managed to spring back to sanity.
"If this keeps on, Bruce will probably lock down the city," Dick admitted. "He's only waiting because Harley is supposed to be leaving today."
"How do you know that?" Donna asked, her brow furrowing.
"Selina's in touch with them," Dick said.
Donna looked thoughtful. "And once Joker realizes she's gone, what will he do then?"
Dick shook his head. "You can't outguess Joker. His motives change. But we're preparing for him to come after us, or Jay, or Selina. Or all of the above. He's done some very suspicious things lately, that make it seem like he might know Bruce's identity."
She stood up sharply at that, eyes wide. "Wait, you think your number-one nemesis knows who Bruce is – and probably knows all the rest of you, too – and you're not running around crazy right now? If he did know, wouldn't it be on every news channel and every billboard in town?"
At that, Dick could only shrug. "I would've thought so, too. I guess he's keeping it to himself for some reason."
Behind them, Selina spoke up, and they both whirled around. "It's no fun if everyone knows. This is Schrodinger's blackmail. If you know that he knows, you worry constantly about when he'll go public with it. He can focus on something else, knowing that you're all going nuts with no effort from him."
"That sounds like Joker," Dick said, his hands balling into fists of their own accord.
"Now if only I wasn't worried over what the 'something else' he's focusing on was," Selina said ruefully. She was carrying a cat – the little fluffy one, Norway, who sprawled luxuriously in her arms and purred loudly.
"You think he's aimed at you?" Dick asked, his spine prickling at the thought.
"No, not really. I mean, he made a threat – but his major focus is Harley. He only wants me because I helped her." Selina shrugged. "And if he got hold of me, he thinks she'd try to come to my rescue. Which, I love her dearly, but I don't know if she'd do that. I don't think I'd want her to."
"This might be a good time for you to get out of town, too," Dick said gently.
Selina bared her teeth in a smile. "No one runs me out of Gotham. This is my town. Haven't you heard? Cats are territorial."
"Cats are also smart enough to run from a bigger predator," Donna put in.
That earned her a laugh. "Sweetheart, I can pull you up a dozen videos of cats chasing off dogs, bears, and even alligators. The first thing a street cat learns is never run away. It only makes them chase you harder. If they don't see you, you can run like hell and get to safety, but once you're in their sights, running just marks you as prey. I'd rather stand my ground – besides, I've got a much better support network than Harley does. If I ever run from Joker, it'll be to lead him right into something bigger and meaner than him."
Dick smiled at her. "And there the metaphor breaks down, because even those giant fruit bats aren't much bigger than a cat."
Selina chuckled again. "Who said anything about the Bat? If I've gotta dive for cover, I'm going to head for Hood. Or one of our friendly local metas."
She grinned when she said it, but there was something brittle in her expression, and Dick figured at least some of what she was saying was pure feline bravado. "Hopefully it won't come to that," Dick tried to reassure, but he didn't think anything could completely dispel the shadow they were all under.
…
Kala ducked under the fist aimed at her fast, and administered three quick taps in rapid succession to her opponent's ribs. He caught her wrist on the third, put her in an elbow lock, and used his superior weight to tackle her to the mat. "One for me," Jay said, panting.
She squirmed, got her foot out from under him, and wrapped it around his leg. That was all the leverage she needed, with a touch of super-strength, to reverse their positions. Then she rolled out of the elbow lock and grabbed Jay's throat, pinning him to the ground as she straddled his waist. "Actually it's one for me," she said.
Jay scowled and sucker-punched her. The armor and the invulnerability took most of it, but it made her lose her grip, and Jay swarmed up her and onto his feet. Kala fell back, then darted in with a kick to his chest that planted him on the ground again. "Still me," she teased.
"Fucking asshole metas and your fucking powers," Jay growled, but he was grinning.
"Shut up and come on, you big baby," Kala shot back, her own grin just as fierce. "Quit fucking whining and bring it."
He did, charging her and feinting aside at the last minute. A quicksilver flash as he moved, and Kala just barely dodged the knife. She smacked his shoulder, holding back on the strength, and taunted, "Careful, you wanna make this a free-for-all, I'll steal your gun."
"Melee weapons only," Jay panted, his eyes bright. "And heat-vision counts as ranged. No searing your initials into my clothes."
Kala just laughed, and ran in again. At full power, no weapon could harm her, so she paid little attention to the knife. In fact, a fun challenge would be to take it from him. After all, she'd disarmed Harley with negligent ease earlier tonight.
They had tried to go to bed after the fire, but both of them were too tuned-up to sleep. So Kala had suggested that now might be a good time for her trainer to check her progress, just as a refresher, which Jay was delighted to do. He seemed satisfied with her so far, both of them actually working up a sweat sparring in street clothes. At least they were doing something, keeping themselves sharpened up for any confrontation Joker might provoke. And when this was over, they could sleep – no telling when they'd get another abrupt wake-up call like this afternoon's.
A handful of lunges and dodges later, Kala came in close to kiss Jay's cheek mid-battle. It always threw him off his rhythm, and maybe she could get a pin that he'd acknowledge. But when she drew back, she felt a sharp stinging sensation along her arm. "Ow, shit!" she yelped, stopping the fight to examine herself.
To her shock, her forearm had been laid open, blood spilling over as she watched.
"The fuck?" Jay snapped, and ran for the first aid kit. "What the hell, K, where'd your invulnerability go?"
"Like I fucking know," she called back, still staring at the spot in disbelief. No way should that have happened, not in these circumstances. The pain brought back memories of that night at the warehouse that had ended in stitches for the both of them. The long cut was already itching, though, and as she swiped the blood away, she felt the sting ebb and could see the skin starting to knit back together. "Never mind, it's healing up now."
Jay turned, looking stunned. "Fuck, that fast?"
Still mystified by whatever had just happened, she held up her arm, the skin closing without a scar as they watched. Something was very wrong here. Kala could feel how wide her eyes were as she looked up at him, could hear the unwilling fear snaking into her voice. "I sunned up on the way here, and I haven't used it too much. I'm at full power. Healing factor's good."
"So what the hell happened to your invulnerability? You're not bruised anywhere, are you?" Jay moved in close, tugging her shirt up to examine her belly where he'd hit her moments ago.
Frowning, she considered. "Nothing else hurt, just that," she told him before a sudden thought occurred to her. "Wait, I didn't feel anything until you slashed at me. But your knife's never bothered me before; you would have told me if you had run across any kryptonite in the last month, right? I don't think that it would leech into the metal, even then." It was a extreme long-shot, but the only one that even made the slightest sense to her.
"No," Jay said, but he drew it again, looking at it suspiciously. Of course it was his favorite knife, the wavy-bladed kris with the ornate handle, and Kala looked at it carefully with every enhanced type of vision she had.
Steel blade, carved wooden handle, nothing special. No glow of kryptonite radiation, and her powers were all intact. Despite knowing better, Kala made herself gingerly touch the point, jerking her hand back immediately at the sting. No, she didn't like this at all. "Ow! Fuck, Jay, it's that knife! This is gonna sound stupid, but has it ever been exposed to … magic or something?"
"Oh, shit," Jay murmured, and sheathed the kris. "Fuck, it probably is some kind of supernatural bullshit."
That immediately raised her hackles. Seriously? What the hell did that mean? "What do you mean, some kind? You know where it came from, right? You're not out there buying blades from secondhand magic shops or anything, are you?" Kala challenged, pressing the tips of her fingers together to get rid of the itchy healing sensation from the one she'd just pricked.
Jay sighed. "Yeah, I know where it came from. And I shoulda fuckin' known. It holds an edge like nothing else I've ever had, and it'll cut damn near anything. Shit… Come to think, it shouldn't have been able to cut your panties off. Your invulnerability shoulda covered that."
Kala crossed her arms and stared at him, brow furrowed. There was a sick feeling in her guts just thinking about what this could mean. "You're right. That's the only reason our uniforms don't get destroyed, the effect of invulnerability extends out a slight distance from the skin. Huh. So, great, you have a supernatural knife that cuts Kryptonians. How many more of them could there be?"
"Too many," Jay said, looking sheepish.
Oh, she really, really didn't like that. Beginning to sense fuckery, Kala raised an eyebrow. "Where'd you get that knife, Jay?"
"It's useful," he said, sounding defensive. "Look, this is a League of Shadows blade. God only knows how they treat their weapons."
Kala stared at him for a full minute in absolute silence. And then, flatly, "Talia gave you the knife."
"Yeah," Jay said, wincing.
Oh God, that was the answer she had been dreading. And it did nothing at all to quash the wild thoughts of nightmare scenarios running through her mind. What the hell had he been thinking? Had he been thinking? Sonofabitch. She took a deep breath, slowly letting it out through her nose, a sound that would've sent any of her mother's or aunt's friends running in terror. The signs of a Lane woman losing her temper were not subtle. "Jason Peter Todd. You cut my underwear off – more than once – with a knife your ex gave you."
He looked desperate to salvage the situation somehow. "Hey, you're good with Donna now…"
If looks could kill… "I'm not cool with that one," Kala said sharply. "Talia tied too many goddamned strings in place for me to ever be okay with her. And you might think you've cut most of them, but from what I hear about her, she's too good at this. I really don't need to find out, at this late date, that your favorite knife turns out to be a gift from your ex-lover."
"Hey, I told you she gave me the kris," Jay said, and then shut his mouth with a snap. He remembered at the same time she did, that whole long scotch-fueled, secret-laden talk months ago. So many of the heaviest burdens he carried had come to light that night, and Kala had picked up every one of them willingly. Jay was worth it, all of it.
Sometimes, though, he drove her half-crazy. Kala gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah, yeah you did. And I had no idea at the time what a kris even was. I wasn't exactly up to asking detailed questions in the same fucking conversation where we talked about the Lazarus Pit and how it healed the scars Joker left on your face. Sue me if I didn't put two and two together until now."
Jay rubbed a hand through his hair, looking sickened. "Fuck, for all I know that's a League of Shadows tradition, everyone gets a fancy knife when they graduate murder college."
Deep breaths, deep cleansing breaths … fuck it. "Pretty sure they don't all get to commemorate the occasion by fucking their graduate adviser," Kala shot back, hearing the growl in her own voice.
That seemed to hit him where he lived, his eyes growing stormy now. "She'd be a whole lot busier if they did," Jay snapped. "Look, I never thought of it that way! I woke up the next morning, the knife was there and she wasn't. I never got a chance to fucking ask for the specs on the damn thing, I started making plans to kill Bruce and Joker the next goddamn day!"
Unable to help herself, Kala struck out again, anger and confusion and a vein of deep, dark fear making her hit him back. "None of that changes the fact that you've been cutting my underwear off with a fucking 'congratulations on the sex' gift," Kala insisted, stepping into his space. "What does that say to me, Jay? With her fucking knife. Did you do that with that treacherous snake, too?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. God, she could kill him.
"Oh what the hell, I thought we were over this after Donna," Jay said, exasperated. "No, I didn't do that with Talia, 'cause drawing a knife in her vicinity gets you shot. Why're you worried about Talia anyway? I was a fucking science project gone wrong to her. You saw the notes – 'what curse have I unleashed', blah blah melodrama."
"That's bullshit and you know it," Kala said, her temper redlining. She'd hated the tone of that goddamn file of hers – and Jay was being entirely too flippant about the whole thing. Like she was an idiot who couldn't read between the wide-ass fucking lines. Bullshit on that. She poked him in the chest. "Besides, it doesn't matter what you were to her. She was a whole lot more than a convenient lay to you. And if you think that, you're lying to yourself, Red."
She could see his shoulders tensing, and Jay lowered his head defensively. "I was dumb as hell at eighteen, but I wasn't that dumb. And you're fucking deflecting, you're all creeped out 'cause we let Harley go and Joker might know who all of us are, and now for all we know the whole goddamn League of Shadows might be packing knives that can cut Kryptonians."
Being called out – and not entirely untruthfully, though her concerns about Talia al Ghul were longstanding – by the king of deflection himself set Kala's rattled nerves on a terminal edge. "Oh, fuck off, Red. Deflect this," she spat, and lunged.
…
The next five minutes seriously strained every ounce of training and ability Jay had. He didn't draw the kris on her again; with his luck, Kala undoubtedly would melt the thing, and it was a seriously fucking useful piece of equipment. Even more so now that he knew it had supernatural attributes. If he ever had to run up against magical bullshit, he had at least one weapon for that situation.
Kala went on the offensive, and Jay pulled out every trick he had, the manriki chain and the gun and every feint he knew. One thing was clear, she was getting better at fighting angry; Kala made a lot fewer mistakes. And she didn't even have to hover this time, she stayed grounded and still drove him back and forth across the mats like a dog herding sheep.
Something was gnawing at her since he'd cut her, though. Something that probably had nothing to do with the knife or how he'd actually gotten it. They hadn't mentioned Talia in months – Jay would've expected her to be worried about the Joker, especially now. Maybe that was what was bothering her. Maybe it was something else entirely. Whatever the case, he wasn't going to get an answer out of her until he landed a hit on her.
Jay let her back him toward the wall with the weapons rack, and pulled his gun again. Three shots in, she grabbed it by the barrel and turned to fling it across the length of his practice room. Jay took that gap in attention and flying tackled her. Inelegant, no fancy moves, he just swarmed over her and grabbed on so she couldn't pry him off without powers.
"Goddammit, Jay, get off," Kala hissed, bucking and twisting – at human levels of strength only. Even now, furious, she was keeping her control in that. "You fucking irritating pain-in-the-ass…"
"Such sweet pet names we've got for each other," he grunted, and clung like a koala.
Immediately she fought against his grip. "We don't have pet names, you asshole! We don't let ourselves go there!" There was a glimmer of hurt beneath the anger, some of which came from her blurting more than she'd clearly intended.
"Oh yeah? What's up with Red and Robin, huh? Or Princess? Or how about Solar-Powered Snuggie? It's accurate," Jay shot back.
That had her baring her teeth in a furious snarl, but the broken shine stayed. "Don't you fucking dare. If you ever call me a solar-powered snuggie, I will seriously puke on you. Besides, like you have any goddamn room to talk, Mr. Drag-Me-Across-The-Bed-in-Your Sleep," Kala snapped, still struggling under him.
Jay smushed her against the floor. "That's my number-one threat now. I'm gonna go make an account on Capespotting with that for the user name and post all over the Blur page. Unless you start talking about what's really bothering you. It can't be Talia, she's old news and you've pretty much outclassed her in every way possible."
That must have struck a little closer than he'd even expected. Her elbow caught him in the jaw, and Jay had to let go, seeing stars. "Bullshit!"
"Not bullshit," Jay managed to say, rubbing his face.
She stood over him, radiating hurt and anger. "You tryin' to tell me if I hadn't been here, and she showed up in Gotham and said to you, 'Come with me,' you would've had the balls to say no?"
Jay looked up at her, tasting blood from a loosened tooth, but even so Kala had held back. Nothing was fractured. "Yeah, but that's if you hadn't been here. C'mon, K. You're here in the morning – she never was. Even when you have to leave, you text me. You get pissed off if I even imply you're trying to change me – she always had an agenda."
Kala stood still, panting, and he knew she was at least thinking now, instead of just reacting. Jay gave a crooked smile. "Also, you can cook. The woman only owns a tea kettle and a espresso machine, she doesn't have a single pot or pan in any of her safehouses."
She scoffed, still pissed, but she hadn't shoved him across the room yet, and he knew she could. Maybe he'd gotten through that time. "Cute. And what happens if I'm not here? What then, Jay?"
He shrugged. "Too late, you've been here, things have changed. I'm not the same person I was a year ago. Neither are you, and I just hope you like who you are now, 'cause I damn sure do."
Kala scowled up at him and he finally saw it. So that's what it was. She was mad as hell, true, but now he was seeing that it was more likely anger rooted in fear. If she'd really been furious, he'd be in the hospital. And if she was really terrified, he'd be talking to the Empress and that would have been a whole other DEFCON situation. So she was caught between the two, a state of mind he'd lived in for far too long. Finally, Kala whispered, "I don't trust anything about her. She scares me, Jay."
He sat up. "That's not all that's scaring you. Talk to me, Kala."
She huffed, looking away, but then swung back to meet his gaze. "Oh, I don't know. Ever since my powers kicked in, all I've really worried about is kryptonite. Now I find out there's God only knows how many blades out there that can cut right through my invulnerability. And one of them's been under your pillow every night, cutting off my goddamn underwear on occasion. That's not a reason to be upset?"
"Kryptonians are vulnerable to magic. You knew that. You weren't this upset on the sunlight diet, when you were vulnerable to everything," Jay pointed out.
"That was gradual," she snapped, crossing her arms defensively.
"Yeah, well, the only people in Gotham who might have these blades are me and Bruce, and neither of us is gonna use 'em. Hell, the only reason I'd draw for real is to protect you," Jay said.
Kala whirled on him then, her eyes furious. "I'm supposed to be the one protecting you. Joker already killed you once, he doesn't get to so much as breathe in your direction if I have any say in it!"
There it was, and Jay could've kicked himself. He knew Kala was backing him up, but he hadn't really thought about her being this protective of him. "K, come here," he said, and held his hands out.
Frowning, she went to him, and he took her hands, drawing her down into his lap and hugging her. "Joker's not gonna kill me. I'm not a scared, jumped-up kid anymore. We faced him together, remember? And the next time we see him, I'm gonna stick this knife in his eye and give that diseased brain a good stir."
Kala wrapped her arms around him, trembling a little with that uneasy mix of anger and worry. She tucked her nose into his neck, and murmured, "I shouldn't have said anything."
Jay rubbed her spine. "You don't normally fly off the handle outta nowhere, Kala. It's fine. You're good. Hell, I can't blame you for wanting to protect me."
She took a deep breath, and leaned back to look into his eyes. "I still don't trust Talia."
Scoffing, Jay replied, "Well fuck, neither do I!" And that, finally, made Kala relax enough to laugh.
She leaned into him and murmured, "I'm sorry, Jay. Sorry I yelled at you, not sorry about being pissed about Talia."
"Can't blame you," Jay said. "For what it's worth, I'm sure she'd be pissed about you, so it's mutual."
Kala wrinkled her nose at him for that. "What?"
"You're a Super. You're not just a good girl, you're the good girl." In that context, the thought amused him to no end. And of course, she'd argue it.
Which he absolutely called, Kala speaking up almost the moment the words crossed his lips. "No, that's Donna," Kala pointed out crossly.
"And Talia would roll her eyes about that, too. But you? C'mon, K. You're Superman's daughter. You're a whole new definition of 'outta my league'. And you're probably one of a handful of people on the planet who could successfully kick Talia's ass, magic sword or not. All that, and you're actually good for me, not using me for something." Jay caught himself before he could get too serious.
Biting her lip, Kala just said, "Thought we were past the 'Superman's daughter' thing. I'm not even close to perfect. And you give me too much credit, Jay."
"Nah, you don't give yourself enough," Jay told her. And then, trying to deflect from the solemnity of the moment, he added, "Besides, if she found a rat in my apartment, she'd call in an airstrike. You're the only woman I know quirky enough to give the damn thing a bath and put it in a cage."
Finally she gave him a little smile, the first sunlight peeking out at dawn, and didn't have an argument for that. The relief was so strong, Jay just caught her thighs, scooped her up without warning, and started carrying her toward the elevator. Kala was so startled, she could only stare at him in shock for a moment before she gave a surprised laugh, that musical sound clearing the air between them. Equilibrium restored, Jay grinned and told her, "That's all the fighting I need for one day. Let's get some rest, Princess."
Much to his continued relief, she flashed him a tired smile and just leaned into him, arms curling around his neck. The tension seemed to drain away at last, Kala letting out a long sigh. "Fine, be that way, Big Bad," she murmured back, nestling her face against his neck.