Itsyaboykrob: Thank you :D I'm really happy to hear that you are invested in it!
RadioDog77: Thought that I'd give everyone a break from the foreboding endings. NGL I'm glad that I read reviews before posting lol, this one kind of inspired me to make the reaction to what happened a bit lengthier. Initially I nearly kinda just glossed it over lol. Hopefully the last minute additions to that are satisfying!
Azula is rather surprised to find that he is still holding her and more shocked to realize that she had managed to sleep at all. Albeit, a restless sleep. Several times she had woken with a feeling of dread and paranoia. Several times she found herself gripping a deeply slumbering and snoring Sokka tighter. It is a wonder that she hadn't woken him with how firm her grip had grown.
She finds herself silently embarrassed that she was being so clingy and, dare she say, childish. In the back of her mind, she supposes that her fear is justified. Even still, she feels foolish for it. As the sunrises outside, she loosens her hold on him.
She waits until he stirs to pull herself from his grasp, but he doesn't even begin to wake before something else startles her out of his arms. Her jerks awake when she bolts upright. Looking comically more horrified and mortified than the both of them combined, the third figure stands in the doorway.
"Zuzu…" She greets with an inward cringe.
"I've been looking for you." He sputters through his embarrassment. "I was worried after…"
"You don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself." She shrugs, she finds herself hoping that, that isn't a lie. In light of things, it sure feels like one.
"I do need to worry about you." He insists. "You should have seen how you reacted last night when we…" he trails off at the look she fixes him with. It lies somewhere between hurt, anger, and shame. And she sees it on his face that it makes him uneasy. "I didn't mean that." He tries.
"Then what did you mean?" Really, she thinks that he can only mean one thing. That he thinks that she lacks control. That she can snap within a moment's notice. "I'm not crazy. I…" Now she trails off as her eyes wander back to Sokka's singed parka. "I just need to get out of here."
"Yeah." Zuko rubs the back of his head. "That's all I meant." He tries. "That this place isn't good for you and that's why I'm worried."
"I have control." She persists. "That was a...lapse in judgement."
Zuko's face softens and she feels bad all over again for inadvertently guilt tripping him while trying to justify herself. "I know." He tries to smile. "That wasn't you."
Her heart seizes and her stomach drops; deep down it feels as though it was exactly her. That, that sort of lashing out is in her nature. That, that sort of thing had been routine in her life prior to this compound. "It was me." She says quietly.
Sokka leans in almost annoyingly close. And just as childishly, though well meaning, he whispers in her ear-almost as if to imitate her own soft tone, "it isn't anymore."
Having been well and caught, he makes no attempts at subtlety when he wraps his arms around her waist. Like that she recalls having kissed him and her cheeks very nearly color. She isn't sure what had possessed her to do it, but she doesn't entirely regret it either.
She doesn't regret it at all.
In the doorway, Zuko seems to grow more uncomfortable. "We're going to be heading back to the village soon."
"I'm sure that they'll be eager to hear that we've all wasted our time." She grumbles.
Zuko sighs but only briefly before a flicker of mischief lights his eyes. "Something tells me that it wasn't a complete waste of time."
This time, her face does color some and Sokka's grows so red that one could assume that he'd been wandering the tundra for hours. She clears her throat, "we'll see."
.oOo.
He is reluctant to let Azula wander off on her own again but, all the same, Sokka knows that she won't take well to him trying to stop her. Or worse, treating her like she is fragile and helpless. He just hopes that she doesn't return to the lobby shaking and shouting again.
Sokka is fussing with his pack, trying to stuff his sleeping bag back into it. This is already eating up way too much time and he still has to figure out what to do about the gaping hole in his parka. He doesn't even begin to consider his options when Zuko drops down next to him.
"You two didn't…" he trails off. "Did you?"
Sokka's face remains blank until his mind connects the dots. "What!? No! We just slept together!" His face turns a brighter red than it ever has before then. "I mean, not like that!" He falters. "I mean we slept next to each other but not with each other! And we had clothes on the whole time. It's too cold to take them off anyways! I don't think that your sister would have…"
"Sokka." Zuko cuts his rambling off.
It is his turn to nervously rub the back of his head. "Look it was just a bit of cuddling." And a kiss. He adds in his head. And a massage. He gnaws the inside of his cheek. "Okay and I gave her a little massage. Back at the Lake Fire institute, she got a massage from one of the doctors and it helped her relax. So I thought that…"
Zuko chuckles. "I get it, you were trying to help." He pauses and his face goes frighteningly serious again. Almost like the look that their father had given Aang when Katara introduced him as the boyfriend. "When were you going to tell me?"
"Sometime today, but you walked in before I could." He pauses. "It sort of just happened."
"You mean that this is the first time you, uh...cuddled with my sister?"
"Well…" he starts. "Sort of. No. She's been having trouble sleeping and she said that it helps her sleep better when she has company. But, this was the first time she kissed me." He continues quickly, hoping to gloss over the kissing bit. "It started out with me just staying in the same room as her but then she asked me to lay down next to her and we had a pillow between us…" he is rambling again but it is just as well, if he adds in enough fluff, Zuko might miss the worst of the details.
"When did this start?" Sokka doesn't know what to make of his friend's tone. Is it angry? Surprised? Amused? Perhaps all three?
"Back at the palace, after our fight." But no, he thinks that it began before that. Even if he hadn't realized it he thinks that the spark had been there since he'd taken her to see the tundra lights. Though she hadn't been able to enjoy the display, he thinks that the moment had been a tender one. "It helps her sleep…" he adds again, weakly. "I don't think that she likes being alone." He finishes rather lamely.
Of course she doesn't like being alone.
No one likes being alone.
"Look, Sokka, I'm just happy that she's got something to help her deal with everything."
Sokka thinks of the screaming, impulsive woman who had come along with them to track Ursa down and thinks that Zuko pictures the same. "She didn't really have anyone before, did she?"
Zuko gives a sad little head shake. "That's why I'm not going to kick your ass." Sokka can't tell if this is a wisecrack or a serious statement. "But I question your taste in women."
Sokka gives a sigh of relief. "Your girlfriend likes to stab things with pointy things."
"And yours likes to conquer powerful nations." Zuko points out.
But Sokka is still stuck on the implication, "she's not my girlfriend." He says right away. "I don't think that she is...she never said…"
"But she kissed you?" Zuko asks. So he had caught that.
"Well, yeah but…" Sokka trails off. "I don't know if it really meant anything." He is scared to admit that it had to him. "Sometimes I think that it only happened because I just so happened to be the first person to warm up to her."
Zuko seems to think it over. "I guess that you'll have to ask her."
But Sokka is almost certain that Azula isn't even sure of exactly what she is doing this time around.
.oOo.
Azula purses her lips in frustration. "This is useless, completely useless." She hisses more to herself than the imperial firebenders that have taken the initiative to accompany her. They trail behind her as she wanders down the hall. "There has to be something here…" she muses allowed. Anything.
She comes to the closet that she had stolen her parka from during her grand flight. At the very least, there better be a spare parka hanging around for Sokka's use. Even if it is as bulky and big as her steal had been on her, he can always throw it over his own parka and be warmer still.
She tugs the door open and finds only one lonely parka, she snatches it up and makes her way back down the hall. In the back of her mind is a nagging desire to take off into a sprint as it conjures up images of shadowed figures peering from around the corner.
Azula grips the parka tighter; how pathetic will it be to let this place get to her for a third time. She draws in a breath and exhales it. The only people behind her are those that seek to accompany her out of this place. By the looks on their faces, she'd wager that the place discomforts them to a degree.
"I found something for you." She shoves the parka into Sokka's arms. She waits for a rather solid minute before muttering, "you're welcome."
"Sorry." He mumbles back. "I wasn't paying attention."
"Clearly." Azula agrees. "You'd be relieved and gracious if you had been. I didn't have to find this for you."
Sokka chuckles as he tugs the parka on. It is not the response that she had been hoping for. She hadn't exactly anticipated him falling at her feet and thanking her for her generosity, but a small thank you wouldn't have been too much to ask for. Her expression falls somewhere between a pout and an annoyed scowl.
He slings an arm around her. "It's a little big." Her frown deepens. "But it'll work."
"I hope that it does." She replies.
"Thanks." He says at last.
She supposes that she had no right to push him for a thank you considering that he wouldn't have needed a new park at all if she hadn't ruined his first one.
"I think that everyone is packed up." Zuko announces. "We just need to find you a new…"
"Taken care of, Zuzu." Azula pats the gaping hole that is now covered by a new parka.
"I guess that we're set to go then." She can hear the disappointment in his voice and is certain that it stems from no longer being able to delay their inevitable venture into the merciless pole weather.
When they finally do manage to get a distance from the vacant facility, conversation has died out to give way to concentration. The snow is significantly deeper now that a night's worth of it has fallen. Azula tries to take her mind elsewhere, someone out of the cold. Somewhere warmer.
Warmer like within Sokka's embrace.
Perhaps she should ask him if he will take her to see the lights again. Now that she isn't wholly off put by the very notion of looking out into the tundra. He had mentioned that they relieve his stress, she thinks that it would be a good way to make up for burning him.
Azula's mind wanders again, not particularly far though. She still thinks of Sokka. More specifically she dwells on the kiss. She wonders if and hopes that she hasn't taken something perfectly good and made it awkward. She thinks that she is rather good at that. Yet she can't say that she regrets it. It had felt rather right to do but he hadn't returned the gesture.
She spares him a look and briefly wonders what he is thinking about.
.oOo.
It takes all of his will power to not laugh at either of the two fire siblings as they awkwardly shamble over the snowbanks. Azula is especially entertaining with her being so small. He can tell that she is growing tired, even if she is doing everything in her power to pretend like she isn't. Part of him wants to offer her a piggyback ride to the village. He isn't sure how she would take the offer so he holds his tongue. He opts to pretend like he hasn't noticed any of her more clumsy strides. Likely, she will get used to trekking through deep snow. Zuko only fares better by experience.
An invasive thought passes through his train of thought and he shudders. With nothing else to picture, he visualizes Azula, younger and colder, seething at the notion that Zuko is doing something with more expertise than she.
The reassuring reality is much different. Zuko missteps bring him to an abrupt halt. Azula, either invested in a daydream or captured by a sheet of ice, collides with him. They both topple and Sokka can't tell who makes which noise of distress. Azula is the first to rise, she shakes herself off and yanks Zuko to his feet with a harsh, "don't stop so suddenly dum-dum." The edge is taken by the chattering of her teeth.
"Watch where you're walking." He shoots back with shivers just as intense. "I think I've got snow in my underpants."
"I think I've gotten some unwanted information in my ears." Azula mutters.
Sokka bursts out laughing. "You guys are great."
He'd never noticed how similar they look until they fix him with twin glares.
"I should have you carry me." She grumbles.
It is all the permission that he needs. He bends slightly in front of her.
"What are you doing?" She crinkles her nose.
"Offering you a ride on my back."
Azula ponders his offer. She takes a glimpse at the impression she and Zuko had left in the snow and wraps her legs around his trunk and drapes her arms over his shoulders. She feels her press her face against the hood of his parka as he resumes his stride.
She is so generously warm.
"Why don't we just melt a path through all of this?" Zuko throws his hands up.
"Because, dum-dum, you'll burn through your mittens."
.oOo.
By the time they reach the village Azula is once again sniffling and her cheeks are a bright rosy hue. She slides down from Sokka's back and hustles her way into his home. She finds herself the furs that they had wrapped her in on her first night and flops onto the sofa. She isn't in any particular hurry to share how useless the endeavour proved to be. Regardless, there is no sense in attending any sort of meeting with a running nose and tingling hands. She has even less desire to stand in front of the imperial firebenders in such a tousled state.
She pulls her hood down and sets her mittens to the side so that she can light a fire in the small fireplace.
"Cozy?" Sokka asks.
"Not yet." She replies.
"Zuko went to go let the others know that we're back."
Azula makes her way back to the sofa and has a seat next to him. "Alright." She finds herself leaning into his arm. He doesn't push her away. "Would you mind sharing that blanket?"
Azula stands, wraps the blanket around him, and takes a seat in his lap. She leans back and closes her eyes. She wants to offer him another kiss or perhaps curl her hand around his. But this time she doesn't. This time, she wants him to make a move.
Some time passes and her stomach sinks. For the first time, she considers that she could be making him uncomfortable. She has an awareness that they'd been rivals before, she can't blame him for being weary of getting too close to her. It dawns upon her that, even free of the memories that come with it, she can't shake the past away. She bites the inside of her cheek. How can she when she keeps doing things that remind everyone of it?
"What are you thinking about?" He asks.
"You won't tell them, will you?"
His brows furrow in confusion. She hovers her hand over his chest.
"I can't exactly hide it."
Azula swallows.
"It was an accident." Sokka tries to be reassuring. But she gets no consolation at all.
"What was an accident?" Katara asks.
Azula is almost certain that her face has gone pale.
"Maybe you should tell her." Sokka mumbles in her ear.
Wordlessly, she opens his parka to display the burn marks. "He was...we were going to ask you to heal it."
"What happened?"
"He…" She trails off. "Took my by surprise when we were in that room. I thought that he was someone else." She doesn't know how to explain it. She doesn't think that there is a way to do so that would make the waterbender stop looking at her like that. "I thought that they were going to take me again."
"There's a big difference between Sokka and whoever they are." Katara replies.
"It didn't feel like it." Azula replies. "It…"
"Remember those soldiers we saw in the Earth Kingdom?" Sokka asks.
"What do they have to do with anything?"
"Some of them would get aggressive if they saw or heard something that reminded them of something that happened during the war." He reminds. "They seemed like they were in two place at once…"
Yes, that is exactly it, Azula realizes. "Physically, they're in the infirmary." She adds quietly. "But their minds are somewhere else entirely. In a different time even." She pauses. "It was like that." She feels Sokka's hold on her tighten.
Katara's expression softens. "That happens to our dad's friend Bato sometimes."
"I guess that I finally have something to discuss with Dr. Yu-Kang."
"That's a start." Katara replies, Azula senses the unease in her voice but Azula can sense the tension but the waterbender doesn't seem to press it further. "Do you guys want some soup and jerky? Hakoda is heating it up."
"Food sounds nice." Sokka replies.
"Let her heal you first." Azula scolds.
"Right." He laughs. He pulls his hands out of his borrowed parka and with them falls a few pieces of folded parchment.
Azula swipes them up while he peels layers of clothing off. Katara brings the healing water to his chest. "You're angry with me."
"You just burned my brother." Katara snaps.
"I didn't mean to...I just..."
"You like controlling people, maybe you can try to control yourself."
Azula opens her mouth, a quip at the ready.
"Please don't argue with her." Sokka groans.
"She is the one..." Azula starts.
"You are the one who throws fire at everything that bothers you."
"I haven't thrown any at you." She hisses.
"You guys..."
"What's stopping you?" Katara asks. "You've never hesitated before."
"Kat, I have a chest that needs healing."
"You wouldn't if someone could keep herself in check."
Azula flinches. This is going to end just as it had on their boat ride to the Fire Nation. Her face falls, perhaps she is simply meant to remain an outcast. It might be that they were all just waiting for her to hurt someone so that they'd have an excuse to begin hating and punishing her for the things that she can't remember. She stands abruptly, this time it is Katara who flinches. Azula can see her poising the water for a strike. It is hardly necessary, she bunches up the pieces of parchment and begins to make her way out of the shelter.
"Azula, don't go." Sokka tries. "Tell her that she can stay, Kat. I'm not angry with her, we've already talked about this. I told her that you'd understand."
"Clearly she's still dangerous."
"She's not." Sokka insists on her behalf. Azula stands rigidly, fighting an impulse to shift awkwardly. "She worried about you guys finding out about this. She feels bad about it."
Azula swallows, not entirely comfortable with him sharing her privet thoughts. In light of the situation she decides to give him a pass.
"It was a stressful situation. I shouldn't have caught her off guard."
Azula shakes her head. "It's my fault Sokka."
Again, Katara's expression grows sympathetic. "You're acknowledging that."
"I'll keep doing so if you acknowledge that I'm not some sort of twisted sadist." Decidedly she is at least a twisted, sure. Twisted and damaged and hard to reassure. But she has trouble seeing herself as a sadist.
"I guess that a sadist would look that upset about hurting someone." Katara admits.
Azula allows herself to relax if a little.
"See, was that so hard?" Sokka asks.
"Do you have to be so patronizing?" Katara rolls her eyes.
As she brings her focus back on healing him, Azula unfolds the papers. Katara is still muttering about Sokka's quip but Azula finds that her discovery takes precedence. They can resume their banter later. "Sokka…" she trails off. "This is a map." She skims the next one. "These are details on the whereabouts of their main facility."