Chapter Twenty-Four: I Don't Quite Know

Edward's POV

"Do you think she can ever forgive me?" I asked as the hour session came to a close.

Dr. Grey smiled and sighed. "I think it's possible."

"I sense a but coming."

"But I cannot be sure. The only thing I am sure of is you have worked extremely hard and have come a very long way," He told me. "And I think the knowledge and tools you have now will help you be successful in any relationship you wish to have."

"Right," I nodded. I was disappointed because I didn't get the exact answer I wanted but Dr. Grey was a therapist, not a psychic. He couldn't tell me for sure if I'd get her back and I was glad he wasn't filling my head with false hope.

He looked at his watch and smiled. "That concludes our hour, Mr. Cullen."

"Thanks, doc," I smiled as we stood up and shook hands. I confirmed my appointment time for the next week with the receptionist and made my way to Caroline's school. It was that busy time of year again and her school was putting on a production of Pinkerton! and she was playing one of the lead roles.

I was so proud of her and what she had become in the world of theatre.

The fourth-grade teacher directing the play told me after her practice last week she had a good feeling Caroline was going to do big things on the stage one day. I knew she was still so young but I could see her doing this for the rest of her life.

When I got there, the lot was already pretty full but I didn't miss Bella's car parked near mine.

Even after five months, there was still a pit in my stomach when I knew I was going to see her. It was a mixture of butterflies and sadness and regret for letting her get away. It had been a really hard breakup and I knew she still wasn't okay and I hated myself for causing her that pain.

I wanted to be with her more than anything, that was very clear to me now. But at the same time, I wished she found someone else to make her happy. I knew that no matter how much pain I was in, I wanted her to be happy again because she deserved that.

Especially after what I did to her.

When I got inside, I found my family standing near the doors to the gym waiting to get inside. Lucy clapped her hands when I came and stood next to my dad and reached her hands out for me to take her. Kate surrendered and I snuggled close and inhaled that sweet baby scent. She might have been twenty-one months old, but she still had that smell everyone loved.

"How was it?" Emmett asked softly while the others were distracted with each other.

I shrugged. "Same old', same old'."

"One day you're going to need to give me more than that," He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, little brother. That is none of your business." He smacked my arm, which Lucy thought was hilarious and burst into laughter. We waited in the lobby for a few minutes before the teacher opened the doors and let people inside.

We were lucky enough to find seats close to the makeshift stage and I got ready to watch my baby shine. We only have a few minutes before it started, but Emmett kept looking around the room and looked like a crazy man.

"Em, what are you doing?" I asked as Lucy reached for Kate. I handed her back and looked behind me to see what my loony brother was looking for.

I found Bella and Brady sitting a few rows back but they were distracted by the program. I punched Emmett's arm which caused him to turn his head back around.

"Leave it," I seethed and he looked like a child as he shrunk into his chair. I could tell he wanted to say something but the lights in the gym turned off and the stage lights came on.

I knew his intentions were good. Emmett only had my best interest at heart. But he was terrible at being sneaky and I didn't want her to think we were planning something we weren't. Well, I wasn't planning anything. Emmett had been planning on how to get us back together since they got back from their honeymoon.

But I couldn't focus on what my brother was going to do. I focused my attention on the stage as a child dressed as a dog came running out pulling Caroline behind her.

"Whoa! Pinkerton!" She shouted. The dog stopped and stared out at the audience and then back at Caroline. "Hi...class! Here's what...I...brought for...show n' tell! My great and puppy, Pinkerton!"

She was so good at what she was doing. She was laser-focused and I could tell she was nervous, but no one else would be able to tell. She found me in the audience and her smile grew as she broke character for just a second and then she went back to her work.

I had loved her as Granny last year but there was something about her character Emily that was amazing. It amazed me that a ten-year-old was this good and convincing even if she was my daughter. When they came out to take their final bow, I could see a glint in her eyes that made me stand up for her.

When the show was over, Kate and Emmett headed out to get Lucy in bed. We hugged goodnight and made plans for tomorrow night to celebrate Caroline's lead role and a job well done. Bella and Brady were sticking around to see Caroline but I could tell Bella wanted to get out of there.

We still hadn't spent any time together except to drop kids off and pick them up.

When Caroline came out, she jumped in my arms and I hugged her tightly. I set her down and she hugged her grandparents and then found Bella and Brady in the crowd. She left us to say hello and I smiled when Brady handed her a single rose for her performance.

"What a sweet boy," Mom gushed and I knew she was trying to plan their wedding. I knew that would never happen though. They were best friends and I didn't see them becoming romantic in any situation. They were brother and sister.

Plus I was sure that Bella got the rose and told him to give it to her.

After they talked for a bit, they said goodbye and headed home.

"Where are Uncle Emmett and Aunt Kate?" She asked.

"It was getting late and Lucy was getting fussy, sweetie," I told her.

She looked disappointed. "I thought we were going to get ice cream."

"We're all going to get dinner tomorrow instead. Your pick," I told her, which made her feel better. She managed to rope my parents into coming over to the apartment for a bit before they were back to Emmett's place for some rest. They had just driven in today and those three hours were getting longer as they were getting older.

We said goodbye in the parking lot and Caroline reminded them that we'd see them back home.

"You were so good, honey," I said as we walked back to my car. As I unlocked the door, I saw Bella standing near the car with Brady in the backseat, looking annoyed. "Bella?"

She looked up and frowned. "Hey."

"What's going on?" I asked as Caroline went over to her and stood next to her. Bella smiled and wrapped her arm around Caroline's shoulder.

"The car won't start," She sighed. "I think it's the battery."

"Want me to take a look?" She nodded and popped the hood. She and Caroline held up our cell phones to use as a flashlight. I wasn't a car expert but nothing looked out of the ordinary. "It's very possible that it's a battery problem."

"Super," She sighed under her breath. "Triple AAA said they couldn't get here for an hour."

"What?"

She shrugged. "It's a busy night. Jasper and Alice are already sleeping because Nathan has been sick this week so they're exhausted."

"And your mom?"

"Phil's baseball team had a big game out of town today and she went with him," She told me. "It's fine. I can call a cab and come get the car tomorrow."

"Don't be silly," Caroline smiled. "We can drive you."

I was very positive Caroline and Emmett were working together.

She looked up at me nervously and I smiled at her. "Yeah, of course, we can."

"Thanks," She smiled as she went to get Brady and her bag out of the car. She made sure it was locked as we got into my car. I double-checked to make sure everyone had their seatbelt on before backing out of the spot.

"How's school?" I asked Bella once we got on the road. I looked in the rearview mirror and both kids were looking out the window and were about to pass out. I didn't blame them. It had been a crazy week.

"Good," She sighed. "Busy, but, I should be finishing up soon."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. Hopefully, I can find a writing job at a paper."

"Any particular job you want?" I asked as we drove into a more wooded area.

She shook her head. "I just want to write things that matter and make a difference."

"You'll do that, "I smiled. "No matter where you work."

"Thanks," She looked over and we locked eyes for a second. "It'll be hard to leave my company though."

"I know how much you..."

"Edward!" She yelled as a deer popped out in front of my car. I did my best to swerve but I must have hit a patch of ice because the car slid across the road into the guardrail. All I could think about were the kids in the backseat and their scream as the car came to a sudden stop. The hit was enough to make the airbags deploy and that seemed to knock the wind out of me.

There was smoke everywhere and I coughed a bit before I was able to get a grip of what was happening.

"Caroline?" I coughed as I turned around in my seat. "Brady?"

"Daddy?" She sounded scared and I saw her little hand reach for me. I grabbed it as best I could and turned around further to see if Brady was okay.

"Brady?" I asked.

"Yeah?" His voice cracked. "Mom?"

I turned to Bella and she wasn't moving. I pulled away from Caroline and tapped Bella's shoulder. I didn't want to move her just in case. "Bella?"

"Mom!" Brady cried and I had to do my best to keep everyone calm. "Mommy!"

"Bella," I said as I gently shook her while also trying to reach my phone in my pocket. I dialed 911 as I kept trying to get her attention.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Hi, I've been in a car accident and I have two children in the car and a friend on the passenger side not responding."

"Was anyone thrown from the car?"

"No, we were all in seatbelts."

"Sir, can you give me your location?"

I talked to the 911 operated and sighed in relief when I heard the sirens only a few minutes later. I could tell Bella was starting to come to because I could hear a little bit of sound.

"Why isn't mom talking?" Brady cried.

"We're going to be okay, bud. Trust me."

He looked at me and in that instant, I knew that he did trust me.

"What?" She moaned as she coughed. "Brady?"

"Mom!" He cried as the emergency vehicles reached us.

There was a lot of commotion as the EMT's got everyone out of the car. The kids were put in an ambulance to be looked at while they got me out of the car. They were treating Bella more delicately and called for a second ambulance to transport her.

"This is all to make sure she's transported safely," The second EMT explained as he assessed my injuries while they pulled Bella from the car and onto a gurney. "You were all very lucky you were wearing your seatbelts.

"Safety first," I whispered. Bella looked over at me as they were putting her in the ambulance and I promised to take care of Brady and call her family. The second ambulance took me and the kids to the hospital to be looked at.

I called my parents and Bella's mom on the way to the hospital. Jasper and my parents were waiting for us when we got to the ER.

"Edward!" Mom gushed.

Before I could say anything, they took all three of us into individual beds with the curtains closed. Mom stayed with me while Dad and Jasper went with the kids.

"Any headaches?" The nurse asked as she took my vitals.

"No, I feel fine."

She smiled and wrote things down on a chart. She continued to look me over and looked quite pleased as she put her pen down. "Everything looks good. We're going to get you a CT just to be safe and we'll need to stitch that cut up, but I think you're going to be just fine."

"And my children?" I asked.

"Let me check," She said kindly and left. I waited anxiously and we both stayed quiet. "So, I have good news."

"They're okay?"

"They both suffered from mild seatbelt bruising and that seems to be the worst of their injuries."

"Seatbelt bruising?" I asked. "The seatbelt hurt them?"

She nodded. "But, it saved their lives. You have some as well."

"Okay. Is that it?"

"The boy also has some mild whiplash, but that will resolve in a few days. If he still complains of discomfort you'll need to see his doctor," She explained. "We're going to get them a CT scan as well just to be safe, but you were all very lucky."

"Thank you," I smiled and she turned to leave. "Do you know anything about their mother?"

"What's her name?"

"Isabella Swan."

She looked at me. "You're married?"

"Yeah," Jasper said from behind her. "It was recent. She hasn't changed her name yet."

The nurse looked at me skeptically but looked at the computer for Bella. "They stabilized your wife and are doing an exam right now. We should know more soon."

"Okay," I nodded.

We waited for what seemed like hours to get the CT scans and eventually discharged. I was given the care instructions for the whiplash and any signs of head trauma that may have been missed. They insisted they were very positive that we were all okay and could go home.

"We'll take them," Mom offered. "Emmett told us to bring them to his place."

"I can take them, mom," I told her as I gingerly put my jacket on. There was some blood on it but it was an old jacket.

She stared at me. "You stay here with Jasper and see what's going on with Bella."

I looked at Jasper who nodded. "Come on, I can't stay here by myself."

"Where's Renee?"

"She and Phil are on their way back, but they won't be here for hours."

"You sure you don't mind taking them?"

"Not at all," Mom smiled. "They're exhausted and I know they're hunting. They need a good night rest."

"Is Brady okay with leaving?" I asked looking over at him and dad as he sat on the bed with his head on dad's shoulder. Caroline was on the other side of dad and looked like she was about to pass out.

They had given them a good dose of pain medication safe for children. They were bound to be groggy.

I walked over and gently tapped Brady's knee.

"How's mom?" He asked as he yawned. He could barely keep his eyes open.

"They're still working on her," I told him. "You two are going to go home with my parents."

"I wanna stay," He argued. I looked at Jasper who stepped in. I went with mom to sign the final round of papers.

Jasper came over a few minutes later and I saw my parents getting the kids up and ready to leave. "He made me promise we'd call as soon as we knew anything."

"I can do that," I walked over to Caroline and gave her a giant hug. She was practically sleeping standing up so I didn't say anything. I kissed her cheek and gave my parents my apartment key in case they wanted to go get some of her things.

After they were gone, Jasper and I waited in the ER waiting room.

It seemed like it took forever but I guess that meant they were being thorough with her exam and didn't want to miss anything. At two in the morning, a doctor came out and asked for her family. We both jumped up and walked over to him.

My pain medicine must have been wearing off because every bone in my body ached. I now had a better understanding of what people meant when they said they felt like they got hit by a truck.

"Your Isabella's family?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I'm her...husband and this is her brother. And you can call her Bella."

He smiled. "Well, Bella is doing very well. She has some good bruising where her seatbelt was and when the airbag deployed it made contact with her head. She's got some bruising and cuts from that too."

"Anything more serious with her head?" Jasper asked anxiously.

"She has a concussion from the impact but we didn't notice anything else on her CT scan," He explained and I felt very relieved. "She's also got a hairline fracture on her wrist from it coming into contact with the airbag or the dashboard."

"I thought the airbag was there to help not hurt?" I asked. It seemed like the things that were there to keep us safe were the things causing the damage.

"If it didn't go off, it could have been much worse."

"How'd she get all these injuries but he didn't?" Jasper asked.

"His seat was probably further back than her's was. He is also taller which helped."

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked.

"We didn't see any internal bleeding in the CT scan. We're going to keep her here for the rest of the night and possibly tomorrow night to be safe and then she is free to go home," He told us. "They're transporting her to a room now. The nurse will have the information."

The nurse gave us the room she was going to be in and assured us she was given some pretty good pain meds so she would be asleep for a while. When we got up there she was sound asleep and I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. Jasper went to call Renee and I sat down in the chair next to her.

I grabbed her hand and looked up her cut and bruised face. This was my fault and I would have never forgiven myself if anything worse had happened to her.

The nurse was right. Bella was out cold for the rest of the night. Then the sun was rising when Jasper woke me up and told me he was going on a coffee hunt. When he left, Bella started moving around a bit more.

Eventually, she opened her eyes and looked around confused.

"Edward?" She asked. "Water?"

"Yeah," I grabbed the plastic, pink cup and handed it to her. She drank all the water and laid her head back down.

"Brady?" She asked erratically like she remembered he'd been in the car.

"They're fine," I promised. "They were sent home a while ago."

"What happened to them?"

"Some cuts and bruises. The seatbelt caused most of the bruising, but it saved their lives so I'm okay with that," I told her. "Brady has some whiplash which the doctor said was going to resolve on its own.

She nodded. "Where are they?"

"Emmett's," She said. "My parents took them there last night. Jake's on his way home now."

He'd been in California for business this week and was breaking his neck trying to get a flight home.

"Good," She whispered. "What about you?"

"Some cuts and bruises," I shrugged. "You have a concussion and a hairline fracture. Because of the head injury, they're going to keep you one more night."

Tears pooled in her eyes. "That was so scary."

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Why? You didn't do this on purpose."

"I should have been more careful..."

"No!" She stopped me as she cupped my cheek. I looked up into her beautiful, brown eyes and burst into tears. "There was a deer and black ice. You did everything right."

I nodded. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"It was an accident," She cried and I took her hand in mine and kissed it. "Look, is everyone who was in the car okay? For the most part anyway?" She chuckled.

"Yeah. We're all okay...for the most part."

"Then please don't beat yourself up over this," She smiled.

When Jasper came back he had two coffees and a nurse with him. She did another exam and looked pleased with the results when she came out of the room. Just as she was about to give us information, Renee appeared down the hall.

"Mom," Jasper sighed in relief as he hugged her. She came and gave me a hug, looked me over to make sure I was okay, and turned to the nurse. Bella was doing well but they wanted to keep an eye on her just to be safe. She mentioned one more night in the hospital wouldn't be a terrible idea and as long as there was someone to help out at home she could leave tomorrow afternoon if everything was still okay.

When the nurse left, Renee ran into the room and shut the door in our faces.

"We should give them a minute," I smiled as Jasper, Phil, and I went to the waiting room. Renee spent an hour with Bella before coming to find us and she told us she was sleeping and we were not to disturb her.

Then she pulled me aside.

"What happened, Edward?" She asked. She wasn't mad but she was a concerned mother so I was a bit scared of her.

I gulped. "There was a deer and there must have been black ice because when I swerved to avoid the deer the car slid."

"Everyone was wearing seatbelts?"

"Yeah. I double-checked before we left the school."

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was squeezing right where my bruising was. "Mom!" Jasper laughed as he approached us. "Easy, the guy was just in a car wreck."

"I'm just so happy you're all okay," She sniffled. "And that you were with her."

"Uh, Renee, I caused the accident."

"No the deer and the ice caused the accident," She reminded me. "Things could have been much worse. Plus, I would never want her to be alone in that kind of situation."

"Right," I smiled as my phone started ringing. I excused myself to answer it. "Hi, Jake."

"How is she?" He asked sounding very worried. "Is she awake?"

"She's sleeping right now but she was awake earlier," I told him. "I asked the doctor's and they said Brady could visit for a little bit but he needs to stay calm and be pretty quiet. She's got a concussion."

"Okay, I'm going to get him from your brother's house now," I looked at my watch.

"Wow, you made good time," I laughed.

He sighed. "I spent way too much money on a first-class ticket but I couldn't wait any longer."

I told Jake about Bella staying until tomorrow and he promised to take good care of Brady and that he'd be there soon.

I was going to go back and visit with Bella but when I looked in her room and saw her sound asleep, I needed to get some air. I walked outside and leaned up against one of the columns and took some deep breaths.

I was starting to feel the way I did the night Rosalie died but there was some joy in me knowing she was okay.

"How's she doing?" Dad asked as he came up behind me. I turned and smiled as I gave him a hug.

"She's okay. She's napping but she's good," I told him.

"She's okay, Edward," He repeated. "This is a good day even if you can't see that yet."

I nodded. "I could have killed her."

"But you didn't," He put his hand on my shoulder. "Bella is not Rosalie. She is okay."

My eyes filled with tears. "Bella is not Rosalie."

"Exactly."

"Bella is okay...she's alive."

He smiled. "There is good in the world, son. You just have to look for it."