A.N.: Thank you again for all your lovely comments. They mean so much to me. Yeah, Hermione is in a really shitty place right now, but so are we. She will get out though - and so will we. Stay strong! Together we can get through this!

Chapter 37: Learning the hard way

Hermione's stoic facade broke after she finally closed the door to her room behind her. The evening at the Malfoy's Manor had been a long one as she felt constantly watched by at least one pair of eyes, but never Severus'. He seemed to remain totally unfazed by the whole situation and even though she knew that it was most likely an act, she couldn't help asking herself if she still meant something to him. Why hadn't he come for her in the Ministry? Was it possible that he didn't want to risk his position as a spy because of her idiocy? And would he try to help her now, that her situation was even more hopeless?

Hermione felt tears welling up in her eyes and in three quick steps, she was in front of her bed. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself on the covers and cry into her pillow, but first, she had to get rid of those robes. She couldn't stand to have them on her skin even a moment longer, knowing that Voldemorts runes were woven into the material. It made her feel sullied.

With shaking fingers she tried opening the bindings in the back, but those damned things simply wouldn't budge. It was like the whole dress was held together with magic because no matter how much she tore and ripped, it didn't even move an inch. Somehow this was the last straw for her and all the pent up frustration and fear suddenly broke free. She wasn't even able to get out of this stupid robe without the help of her magic. How was she supposed to make it the next days, weeks or months without it?

A desperate sob escaped her mouth as she sunk down to the floor, where she buried her head on her knees. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't call that man 'my Lord', not ever. He wasn't her Lord, would never be and she wouldn't pretend otherwise. She wasn't Severus who excelled in his role as a spy, even though he had to bend his knee to a monster like Lord Voldemort and follow the man's cruel orders. Hermione wasn't like that. She wasn't a Slytherin who would probably lie and pretend just to survive, or to get her wand back. But she needed it back in order to get away from that place.

Without her magic, she was helpless, not even able to lock her room or make some light for herself. There were candles in her room, but no lighters or matches, as those were not used by wizards, which left her sitting in the darkness on the floor, shedding angry and desperate tears over her situation. She was afraid, no terrified about what would happen next. What would her keeper do, when he realized that she would not apologize or call him by his supposed title?

Hermione didn't know and not knowing terrified her. Merlin, how much she wished for Severus right now. He would have been able to give her some advice, to help her out. Even if he wouldn't have known a way to escape, he would have been there for her, comforted her. But he wasn't here which left her alone and helpless.

But no… she wasn't alone, Hermione realized, as she suddenly could have sworn to feel Severus through the bond. For weeks the connection between them had felt cold and more and more fragile. Now it felt alive and warm.

"Severus," she mouthed silently and the tears streaming down her face suddenly were no longer tears of fear. They were happy tears, as she could suddenly feel the relief flooding her body. Her friend hadn't given her up, he thought about her and it wasn't in anger or disappointment. Suddenly Hermione was sure, that he still felt some sort of affection or friendship for her. Even if he wouldn't find a way to get her out, she realized that she wasn't alone. Severus was still her friend and that was something that monster wouldn't be able to take away from her. No matter if Hermione bent her knee for him or not.

sssssss

"Well, Mr Potter," Severus said looking at the green-eyed boy in front of him. "For some reason, the Headmaster decided, that you require an Auror guard for our…lessons."

The boy nodded, looking at him with Lily's eyes that shone with something like smug satisfaction. Severus stared back at him with a measuring gaze, before his eyes shifted to Moody, who was standing behind Potter with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He could only hope that Dumbledore had informed the Auror about his difficult situation.

"Well, Mr Potter. Before we start today's lesson, I'd like you to tell me about your approach to shield your thoughts so far. Because I've been … informed, that you've been experiencing strange dreams lately."

Potter stared at him in surprise. No wonder as Severus had usually been the one talking, before attacking the boy's mind over and over again. It was the worst approach to teach Occlumency to someone, but it was all he could risk with the boy being linked to the Dark Lord. "Well," Potter started staring at him nervously. "Hermione has shown me different meditation techniques that are supposed to help me empty my mind. It has a lot to do with breathing and relaxation."

Severus nodded forcing his features into a neutral expression. Then he motioned the boy to continue. Potter did so, after nervously clearing his throat.

"I'm trying to do these exercises when I'm lying in bed and usually they kind of help me to fall asleep."

"You try?" Severus asked, looking at Potter inquiringly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Lily's son cleared his throat. "Well, sometimes I'm just not in the right mood to do this, like when… when she was taken. It wouldn't have worked anyway."

He took a deep breath in the hope that it would help him not to snap at the little idiot. When that didn't help he pinched the bridge of his nose to help relieve the new tension that had set in. "Let me guess, that was the night you had said dream, didn't you?"

The boy nodded embarrassedly, staring at the floor in front of him, without saying a word. Severus looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Seeing any correlation, Mr Potter?"

The teenager nodded. "Yeah, Sir. I promise I'll do them every evening now, also when I'm angry or upset."

"Especially when you're angry and upset," Severus corrected him. "Those seem to be the times when the connection is the strongest. But you seem to also experience these… visions during the day. What are you doing to avoid them during the daytime, boy?"

Potter stared at him with wide eyes. "Uh… nothing? What am I supposed to do? I can't very well run around with an empty head all day, can I? People would think I've suddenly gone barmy."

Severus slowly closed his eyes at the boy's stupidity, the effect had its intended effect since he could see the boy bristle. "You're not supposed to run around with an empty had, Potter. Occlumency is about deliberateness. Put all those feelings and thoughts away, that have no place during the day, all thoughts you don't want him to see or that are overly emotional. Every emotion is like a door to him, a door into your head. Every time you get angry, sad, upset it's like an invitation, do you understand?"

Potter stared at him with wide eyes, nodding slowly. "I do, Sir."

"Good. Then get those emotions and thoughts under control. You have two minutes," Severus said, staring at the teenager with his mouth set into a straight line.

The boy nodded and suddenly the nervousness started to radiate from him like in waves. Severus ignored it as much as he could and cast a silent tempus to see when the boy's time was over. Then he waited. He saw Potter eying his tempus charm with wide eyes and knew immediately, that had gotten distracted by it again. Moron!

"Alright, Mr Potter. Prepare yourself," he said, looking at Lily's son with black, occluded eyes. "Legillimens!"

It was far too easy to enter the boy's mind and what he found, was far from nothing. There were still snippets of thoughts about Hermione, evoked by the boy's guilt and doubts Severs could clearly feel within him. Severus knew those feelings well, but he ignored them and latched to the next best thought about Hermione and followed it. It was easy and Severus skipped through Potter's memories like through a picture book. And then suddenly he saw it, Hermione sleeping in a huge four-poster-bed, clad in a man's nightshirt and covered by silky purple covers. That memory felt different, like it didn't originally belong to Potter. And Severus knew right away, that it was his and that it was real. After so many years of Occlumency and Legillimency training, he had gotten a good feeling for memories, that were tampered with and this one was not. The realisation of it let Severus pull back from the boy's head and it took him all willpower not to let his feelings be seen on his face.

Potter looked at him with wide eyes. "I… you saw it, didn't you? You saw Hermione…"

Severus' mouth twitched. "I saw, that you didn't empty your mind, Mr Potter. Concentrate, boy and try to get a reign on those emotions."

"How's that supposed to work?" the boy shouted, looking at him with wild eyes. "I can't just decide not to feel, can I. Believe me, I tried. I don't want to feel all this guilt, these regrets, but I do. I'm not some cold, emotionless bastard." He spat those last words in Severus' direction and he knew immediately, that this was, how Potter saw him at this moment. He would have liked nothing more than to shout at the boy and to tell him that he hadn't been that way either, but that it had been the only way for him to protect those he loved and cared about. Sadly he couldn't as this would have given his loyalties away. And that he couldn't let happen.

For a while he just stared silently at the boy, let him squirm before he said: "Tell me, Mr Potter. Why do you want to learn Occlumency in the first place? Why does the Headmaster want you to learn it? What do you think?"

The Gryffindor stared at him with furrowed brows. "Well, obviously not all of those visions seem to be true, like the one that brought us to the ministry. This means that Voldemort can try to manipulate me through them, which wouldn't be good, right?"

Severus sighed in exasperation. "Well, it wasn't the vision that brought you to the ministry, but your stubbornness and stupidity, Potter," he said looking at his student with dark eyes. "But apart from that, I believe this is actually not the reason why the Headmaster wants you to finally learn. Due to your excursion to the Department of Mysteries the Open Link is now in the Dark Lords possession," Severus said, choosing the last word deliberately. "Currently he is trying to gain the girl's affection and trust. So tell me, Mr Potter, if the Dark Lord has access to your head, what will he try to learn from it?"

The penny had finally dropped this much was obvious from the boy's shocked expression. "Everything I know about her," he said, staring at Severus full of fear. "I know where her parents live, I know what she likes and…"

"Exactly, Mr Potter," Severus interrupted him with a nod. "So now tell me: is this guilt and the regrets you are feeling this strong that you won't be able to help your friend? Do you want to help her?"

Potter nodded and finally Severus could see something like determination in his eyes. "Of course I do. Hermione is my friend, I'd do anything to help her."

"Good, Mr Potter. Then let's try this again, shall we?" Severus said raising his wand. "You've got two minutes to empty your mind."

"Yes, Sir," the boy replied, meeting his eyes with determination and for the first time in months Severus had the impression that these hours wouldn't be a total waste of his time.

ssssss

"Merlin Freddie, my back still hurts," George moaned while sitting down on one of the chairs in their lab.

"Yeah," Fred agreed, rubbing his sore muscles. "This was the worst and at the same time the best detention I've ever had. Merlin, Snape's really a devil with a wand. If he wasn't working for the Order I could have sworn he tried to kill us there."

"Well, the man definitely handed us our arses," George agreed with a snort. "But you know, I think we needed that. We've been nothing but stupid, short-sighted idiots. "So maybe it was necessary for us to get hexed within an inch of our lives to finally grow up."

His brother nodded, looking at their assembled joke items in despair. "Yeah, I know. Opening the shop is or dream, but I can't help but ask myself if we would have been able to save Hermione if we had spent the time we put into creating that stuff into duelling practise. I mean, losing against Voldemort is one thing, but Snape is just one teacher and the two of us weren't even able to land a single hit. We're finishing school in just a few weeks, for Merlin's sake."

George nodded darkly. "Yeah, but most of our Defence teachers were crappy at best. We probably don't know half of the stuff we're supposed to know and I bet Voldemort and his lackeys do know some advanced, dark magic. We'll need to find a way to handle it."

"Yeah," Fred agreed with a sigh. "And we should practise duelling as soon as possible. Do you think Dumbledore would agree to teach us some stuff?"

"After we didn't tell him about Hermione being the Open Link, even though it was our job finding the OL?" George asked with a snort. "Probably not. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's terribly busy finding a way to get Hermione back."

"True," his brother agreed with a sigh. "Then we'll need to find somebody else. As soon as we finished school we could ask Remus or Sirius. And for now, we'll teach ourselves."

"Alright. We'll see if we can find some useful spells in the library. And then we'll try warding this room and do some training every day. We can duel each other for now," George suggested, looking through the room with furrowed brows. "And afterwards we could do some inventing."

His brother shook his head. "No Georgie. Remember? We need to rethink our priorities. I'm not working on the joke shop until we've gotten Hermione back."

The other twin nodded. "Don't worry Freddy, because that's not what I was suggesting. I thought we could put our clever heads together to come up with something that might help us, to get our girl out. Remember the Peruvian Darkness Powder we used to escape the Great Hall? Something like that."

Fred nodded with wide eyes. "Maybe shield cloaks. Or we could try designing a port key, which could get her to us…" he started, his head already brimming with possibilities, while his brother's grin got wider and wider.

"I see you get the idea, twin o' mine," he said, before turning around and starting to box several products, they would not need in the near future. But suddenly he stopped, a thick leather-bound book in hand. "We never read it," George said, turning back to his brother with a sad look on his face.

"Sirius' book?" Fred asked looking at his brother with a raised eyebrow.

George nodded. "Yeah. Why did we never read it, Fred? We both wanted her, still do actually. So why didn't we sit down to read that damned book?"

His twin shook his head with a regretful sigh. "Not sure about you, Georgie, but I thought we would have time. I thought she wouldn't go anywhere so I didn't want to rush things. Let her get used to the loss of her parents and all that."

"Well, that didn't stop us from kissing her though, did it? Maybe if we would have done some research beforehand… what if there is a way for Hermione to bond herself to the two of us? Maybe she would have done it… then You-Know-Who could no longer touch her…" George pulled his hair in frustration. His twin, feeling his misery, was at his side a moment later.

"Don't go crazy over Maybes Georgie," he said, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder. "What's done is done. We did a lot of stupid things in the last months, brother, things we regret now. But I tell you what: we'll do better from now on. And we'll start by reading that book, alright?"

George nodded, locking eyes with Fred. "Alright."